A Prince of Vos
by RoboticDragon
Summary: Starscream is one of the many offspring of the Alpha Seeker, but he doesn't want to follow any of the rules. No, he has other plans that aren't exactly praised in the strict Seeker society of endless rules. Contains abuse, interface, domestic violence, cussing, and slash.
1. My Sparklinghood

**Author's Note:** _A Prince of Vos_ is not connected to any of my other fanfics. The same headcanons still apply for everyone, minus Starscream who has a new background. Seeker culture, how Cybertronians reproduce, and most other character backgrounds remain the same as the headcanons I have established. Which all can be read in the final "chapter" of _An Attempt to Raise a Sparkling_. I encourage you to check out those headcanons that go over Seeker culture, how they reproduce, character bios, and other headcanons, but potential spoilers do exist in some character bios.

 _A Prince of Vos_ is filled with violent rapes, suspense, gruesome/graphic torture and fighting, drinking, robot drugs, interfacing, BDSM, family drama, triggering domestic violence, and slash. You have been warned.

Have some tissues at the ready as you read for this story will be an emotional roller coaster. And please fave, leave reviews, and share!

Cybertronian Units of Time (according to IDW):

Astrosecond ≈ .273 of a second  
Breem ≈ 8.3 minutes  
Cycle ≈ 1 hour 15 minutes  
Decacycle ≈ 3 weeks  
Joor ≈ hour  
Klik ≈ 1.2 minutes  
Megacycle ≈ 93 hours  
Orbital cycle ≈ 1 Earth day  
Orn ≈ 13 days  
Stellar cycle ≈ 7.5 months  
Vorn ≈ 83 years

 **Disclaimer** : The Transformers universe, names, and characters are property of Hasbro.

OCs are created by me for the sole purpose of this story and any names or scenes similar to other fanfics are simply coincidental. Any ideas or names intentionally taken from other fanfics will be noted at the beginning of any chapters to which the occurrence shall take place.

Enjoy. :)

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

Seekers. A strange lot indeed. Quite different from other Cybertronian races, I would say. What better way to start a story about Seekers than to point out how different we really are. We're sleek, aerodynamic, air warriors all who transform into fighter jets that can go above Mach 3. Impressive, I know. We are a culture built from the need to survive. To battle our enemies and be better than them. To get away from those we cannot defeat, to depend on each other for support and comfort. A frametype forced to change ourselves physically and mentally over the vorns to become the ultimate warriors, survivors, and caretakers of one another. Depending and clinging to only each other, ruled by only our kind. The strongest and fiercest of us, chosen through battle and killing their predecessor. The Alpha. The greatest Seeker. The one who is supreme over the rest of us. The one who cares for us, deals with non-Seekers, and ensures the best for the Seekers.

I am the Alpha. I am Seeker Starscream of Vos, and the Seekers are mine.

My road to this position was not an easy one. Anything but. I honestly never thought I would be the Alpha. But, things happened, and something had to be done, and somehow this was the result of all those actions leading to this final consequence.

How did this happen? What were those actions? Why am I even bothering to write this? Well, there's a lot that needs to be said, and I think others could benefit from my story. It's not an easy one, but this is the story about a prince of Vos and his rise to something no one expected from him.

My story begins at a very, _very_ large table. Well, multiple tables all put together in a massive banquet hall. Royal guards, dressed in their royal garb - which consisted of large shoulder guards, a spiked helmet, battlemask that covered the entire face and only showed their optics, a golden cape, golden cloth that draped over their chestplates, decorative chest armor, a golden chain hanging by either end from the shoulder guards, and a large, bladed spear that also was a laser gun - stood at attention at every pillar, perfectly still. They never moved when at attention, practically living statues.

At the head of the string of tables was a large, blue Seeker, on either side of him two other Seeker mechs. All along the table sat nineteen other adult Seekers, half of them femmes. The rest of the seats were occupied by Seekers between the ages of a few orns to 24 stellar cycles of age. There were eighty-seven of these young Seekerlets, with about eight still inside of some of the adult Seekers.

I sat by one of the femme adults, only five stellar cycles old at this time. I tiredly picked at my energon cube, not entirely hungry despite having been running around playing most of the orbital cycle. Being with the family never made me in the best of moods…

The pompous, always flashing a fake smile, and showing off what's beneath his codpiece is my sire, Skycutter. Yeah, lucky me, right? The two brain dead dolts always glued to his rear end are Turbine and Flare. His original trinemates and the ones he actually loves. I would say they were cool uncles, but it's too early in the story to be lying. The multitude of flocking Seekers following Skycutter would be his harem, or breeding mates that he took. Some he stole from other trines, some were single, some he had been eyeing since they were still young. Now they are all his frag toys and it's rare when his spike isn't in one of them. Incredible he can even walk without thrusting his hips... Currently he has nineteen of them, but fear not, the number grows. After all, everything is about being better, isn't it? My carrier is one of his breeding mates, Moonlight. My constantly growing aunts and uncles are Skyraider, Nightstrike, Hypersonic, Sweepback, Hailstorm, Ventral, Nebula, Windraider, Cinder, Galaxy, Starblade, Phantom, Nova… And there are more but I'll get to them later. But, the true scary part of this story is the number of whiny siblings I am forced to deal with. No, I'm not the youngest, nor the eldest. I am a cursed middle sparkling, which most would assume is fine and dandy, given how you are not overly spoiled to the point of becoming hated by all, nor are you the test subject of your creators' parenting skills. No, the true hell of being a middle sibling is simply the fact you are forgotten. How so? Well, when you're eldest you get all the attention until someone else comes. When you are youngest you are _always_ the center of attention. When middle you are looked over. And when you are a middle creation of - you might want to sit down - a hundred and thirty-eight, you most _certainly_ get overlooked. I am a middle creation even to my carrier, having been the third one she popped out. In fact, where I am beginning my story she is carrying again. My uncles and aunts were almost always carrying. I sometimes thought they had to in order to simply live. There were always newly emerges, always a screaming sparkling, always having to learn to share with another greedy bastard of a sibling, and always, always, _always_ finding myself being told to not shove them down the trash compactor. You would think they wouldn't make a big deal about it when it was only _one_ time to a _half_ sibling. But apparently spilling engine grease in my mouth was a more acceptable act than the right to have that fragger crushed into a cube. The political system of large families was and always will be the worst. Basically, the justice system aims to turn the middle creations into the criminals, the eldest into scholars, and the youngest into Primus' perfect angels. And being the spawn of one of the breeding mates only made me lower on sire's list. I don't believe he was even present for my birth. Or maybe he was too busy impregnating another aunt or uncle that night to care. Whatever the reason, here I was suffering with an army for a family. And by 'army' I mean a constant bickering, screaming, insulting, group of fragging morons who could only agree on how their shared hatred of grounders. But everything else was a debate, a struggle, a fight for dominance. Woe be to anyone who simply questioned Aunt Cinder's choice in curtains.. They were ugly. But don't tell her that or else you would get an audio receptor full. And don't anyone tell uncle Sweepback that his color scheme was vomit inducing. You might just end up recharging on the balcony. Which I sometimes wished I could do just to escape the constant screeching from the younger siblings.

If Primus intended for families to be this large he would have never given sparklings such short fuses. I found myself in the corner enough for kicking the faces of my annoying brothers and sisters. I don't regret any of it, never. It was always deserved and I couldn't care less what the lecture was about 'loving your siblings, do unto others, and count to ten.' Fight me, glitch. I stopped listening to adults long ago. And I would say it was this rebellious attitude from a young age that turned me into the person I am now. A good person? Hardly. I will see jail enough in the future. But, for now, here's the story of how I got from kicking my screeching, sparkling brother's face in, to the Alpha and leader of the Seekers.

I still don't regret breaking his jaw.

"Are you not hungry, sweet spark?"

I looked up at my carrier, wing stubs perking. She looked tired. She always did. But when you had to take care of several sparklings, were sparked a lot of the time, and used simply for breeding… one tended to be tired all of the time.

"Not really…" I muttered, choosing to hug her instead.

Her servo rested on my backplates, holding me close to her. I never felt safer than when she held me.

"You don't have to refuel now if you aren't hungry. I'll set it aside for later." She said quietly before kissing my brow. "Do you want to go play some more with your siblings?"

I poked at her abdominal plating. I had a sibling inside of there, growing bigger until he or she could come out and cause me more helm aches. I slowly shook my helm, not wanting to spend anymore time with my siblings. It was time to be with my carrier. And I would take advantage of all the time I could be with just her.

My siblings were finishing up their energon and running off to play games, while the older ones went to their rooms to lock themselves away from the rest of the world. Why deal with your siblings when there are friends online to talk to? I just stayed with my carrier, holding onto her, poking at her transformation seams, and watching what everyone else was doing.

Once it was just the adults and the very youngest of my siblings, the sparklings and younglings all still nursing and not allowed to be out of sight of their carriers, my sire stood up. He did his rounds of walking to each of his breeding mates, kissing them on the lip plates, telling them to have a good night's recharge, how much he loved them, and asking if they needed anything. He kissed and said a good night to the sparklings, and saw off the carriers, his servos always touching his breeding mates. They were his, and he didn't hide it from anyone.

Sire finally came around to carrier, his massive servos touching down her breast plates, her sides, and her wings, gently feeling her as he kissed her on the lip plates. She kissed back, but not very enthusiastically. She never did.

"I love you, Moonlight." He said lovingly, firmly. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired…" She vented, a dainty servo petting the top of my helm. "The little one is starting to really take my energy away."

"That means our newest sparkling is growing." He smiled. "Probably another mechling. Starscream took all of your energy away when you were carrying him."

"He did." She hugged me close. "Look at him, now. He's getting huge."

Sire turned to me. "Yeah, he is. Going to be as big as his old mech. Aren't you?"

I didn't answer. I wasn't scared of my sire, I just didn't know him as well as I knew my carrier. I did love him. He was a great sire. He did love his sparklings. A lot. And he cared for us so deeply, pampered us, and was so kind to us. I really did love him. And I felt safe with him. That was his job, anyway. The trineleader, the Alpha, protecting his subordinates and creations. And I always knew he would do just that.

He picked me up and held me against his broad chest. I squirmed as he pecked a kiss to my cheekplates, something I never did like. That was for carrier to do, not sire!

"How are you doing, son?" He asked, those massive wings of his perking.

"I'm alright." I replied, not looking at him, but instead picking at his outer cooling fans. He frame was so fascinating to me. I never saw a Seeker as large as him. He was bigger, taller, broader than all my aunts, uncles, and the guards. A giant to my young processor. And when I was held by him, or sat on his lap I was reminded just what a colossal Seeker I had for a sire. So I was always messing with his frame when I got the chance.

"Just alright?" He tilted his helm ever so slightly. "Not awesome? Wonderful? Fantastic?"

I shook my helm.

"You should be. Sire is holding you." He then gave me some rapid fire kisses to my neck, eliciting a giggle from me. I struggled to get away, but there was never any escaping sire. He was just too strong. He was just this force that couldn't be stopped. Nothing, no one, could defeat him in anything. "There's my mechling." His smile grew. "Who do you love?"

"Carrier!" I proclaimed, then snickered.

"Carrier? _Just_ carrier? What about me? You love me, right?"

I nodded before hugging his neck. He gently hugged me back, fluttering his wings. I tried to copy that, but my wings just jerked about.

"Love you so much, Starscream." He kissed my cheekplates again. "You recharge well tonight. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, sire!" I hugged him again before he handed me back to carrier.

Moonlight took me, now standing, and held me on her hip. Her and sire shared another kiss on the lip plates, his one servo snaking behind her to give her aft a gentle squeeze. She rolled her optics, playfully pushing him back.

"Not until the sparkling is out." She reminded him quietly.

"I can't wait." His engine purred, winking at her. "Rest well, my love. I'll see you in the morning.

"See you then, Skycutter."

With that said, carrier departed, carrying me still. The palace was, what felt like to me, infinitely massive. Hundreds of berth rooms so each creation of sire's had their own room, all the breeding mates had their own quarters, and rooms for the guards as well. There was a weapons room, the throne room, sire's room, a painting room, practice room for learning how to fight, a room for everything. And all of the rooms for our classes. We had tutors come in and teach us our lessons. We never needed to leave the palace for anything.

Down the core of the tower was an empty space. A hole that goes down the entire length of the building. The adults and adolescent Seekers just flew up and down this hole to get to the other floors. There were elevators for us younger ones who could not fly yet, and the grounder visitors sire would have.

Carrier stopped at this hole, activated her thrusters, and carried me down it until she arrived to the floor her quarters were on. She landed, continued walking down the many hallways and past guards, then put in her code and entered the room.

Like the other rooms, it had a berth, a desk with a computer, a couch, large vid screen, a closet with storage units, some cabinets, shelves, and a personal washroom. Carrier had her room decorated with crystals, posters, and small figurines. Datapads were also on the shelves because she loved reading, and there was a crib in the corner. My old crib.

"Hey, carrier." Quickstrike set down the game she was playing, wings perking.

"Hey, sweetie." Moonlight sat on the berth beside her, placing me on her lap. "I'm going to get some recharge. You can stay up a bit longer if you want to."

"I'm fine."

"Get the lights for me?"

Quickstrike hopped off the berth and did just that. Carrier lied down on the berth and placed me beside her. I curled into her chassis, snuggling against her. Quickstrike got into berth as well, but not touching us. She was ten stellar cycles and a big femme. Well, at that time I considered her a big femme. She didn't need to snuggle with carrier.

Carrier held me, as she always did, her intakes quiet, calming as she drifted into recharge. My optics offlined, just listening to my sister and carrier cycle air. Then, carrier held me closer, her faceplates burying into my frame. She didn't do it every night, but for many, she would softly cry, using me or my siblings to comfort her. I hugged her, not knowing why she did this. I didn't learn why until I was older. And I would find myself doing the same thing when I was her age.

For being a prince and growing up in a palace… There were many coolant tears shed, many hard times, and what I would later realize was abuse going on.

* * *

"Come on, Starscream!"

I ran as quickly as my short legs could carry me. The palace was absolutely massive, and even though we were only playing on one level of it, it was still quite a journey to get from one side to the other.

"I'm coming!" I panted, huffing loudly until I arrived at my destination.

Wings all perked at me when I stopped, my older siblings not really amused of how long it took me.

"Took you long enough." Strikeblade grunted.

"Sorry…" I drooped my wings. Strikeblade was 11 stellar cycles old and a lot bigger than me. He was from one of my aunts.

"We shouldn't be doing this." Cirrus apprised, her wings giving a slight flick. She was also from an aunt.

"Oh, shut up." Stormbreaker snapped. "What else are the guards for but to be pranked."

"What are we doing?" I perked my wing stubs, getting closer to my larger half siblings.

"We're gonna dump this slimey goo on the captain." Stormbreaker smirked as he held up a bucket.

I stood on the tips of my peds to see inside. It was a greenish, thick liquid that had a putrid odor. I scrunched my faceplates as I quickly stepped back. "Ew!"

My brothers just chuckled. They enjoyed getting reactions out of me as long as they were negative in some way.

"So, what do I do?" I inquired, excited to get this prank started. The captain of the guard was a bit of a grouch and I'd seen him give floggings to the other guards before for misbehaving. I didn't like seeing the guards hurt, even if they made mistakes. After all, they protected us every astrosecond of every orbital cycle and made me feel safe. They helped us whenever they could and I considered some of them friends. Pranking him was immensely enjoyable. And I must admit I never regretted any of the pranks we pulled on him.

"You need to lure him out so we can dump the slime on him." Strikeblade instructed. "We'll be on that seal there." He pointed above at a window that did have a large shelf in front of it. Obviously meant for some sort of decorations, but it was barren. "When he comes over, we'll dump it on him and then we run. Just make sure you get him right under us. So you'll have to be close."

I nodded, a smile spreading over my young visage. "Okie dokie!" I exclaimed, my wing stubs fluttering again. "I'll go find him!" And with that being said I skipped off to fetch the victim.

It didn't take me long to find him. He was berating a guard nearby sire's quarters. Something about not standing at proper attention or whatever. I approached and poked at his shin guards.

"Hey!" I shouted up, relentlessly poking him.

He ceased his lecturing to look down at me, wings raised in respect. "Yes, sir? How may I be of service?"

I giggled, servos clasped together and wings fluttering. I always did love how even when a sparkling I could order them to their death. Or, to go to another city to fetch me the toy I always wanted. Sometimes, being a prince was amazing.

"I need you to come with me! I wanna show you something!" I tugged at his cape before holding my servo up to him.

"As you command, young sir." He inclined his helm, hesitated, then gently took my servo that I offered him.

I pulled him along, skipping eagerly to where the trap was. He knew something was up, but he had orders to obey. I outranked him. Hell, I outranked him since I was conceived. And he had no choice in the matter.

I took him to the spot, making sure he was as close as possible, then giggle up at him. I took a couple of steps back and watched, knowing I was going to enjoy this.

The slime came down, but it didn't hit the captain. No, it all fell on me, followed by the thunderous roar of several of my siblings laughing. I just stood there as the green goo fell over me, coating me, and seeping into my seams. I was frozen. Shocked by what happened. My first thought was that perhaps they missed, but the jeers soon confirmed otherwise.

"What a dumbaft!"

"Take that, Starscream!"

"Fragging idiot!"

"Gonna go cry to your carrier, now? Carrier sparkling!"

"Carrier sparkling! Carrier sparkling! Carrier sparkling!"

I looked up, seeing my siblings yelling at me, mocking me, calling me such terrible words they weren't even supposed to be saying. I looked up at the captain, who was already on his knees and ready to help me, but I only scrunched up my faceplates and began to wail loudly. I shoved his servos away when he reached for me, and ran. Coolant was pouring from my optics as I slipped around, fleeing from everyone. I needed to get to the one person who could take care of the bullies.

I stopped by a guard near the center of the tower and reached up, wanting him to hold me. "Sire!" I cried between loud bawls. "P-please!"

"Yes, sir." The guard picked me up, holding me close to his chestplates before activating his thrusters and flying up.

He quickly took me to the top level and carried me to the door to the throne room. I shoved at him until he put me down. The two guards at the door quickly opened it for me, and I ran inside, still crying so hard. It seemed like forever until I finally arrived at the dais, climbed up it, on all fours a couple of times, and then found the throne. I clambered up the legs of my sire and onto his lap. Another sibling of mine was already there, but I shoved her aside to wrap my arms around sire's neck and cling to him, still crying my spark out.

Those powerful arms held me close, his guttural engine growling loudly, reverberating against my little frame. Warm exhales caressed the top of my helm, then his strong, soothing, and loving vocalizer sounded.

"What happened, Starscream? Who did this to you?"

It took me a moment before I was able to pull away and stutter some words out. "S-Strikeblade a-and Stormb-breaker!" I knew Cirrus was not involved. She never would do something like this. They lied to her too. "Th-they dumped goo on me!"

Turbine handed sire a cloth from his subspace, which sire accepted and began to wipe my faceplates clean. He was so much bigger and stronger than carrier, but he was just as gentle when caring for his creations. I soon could see him clearly, and his trinemates standing at attention on either side of the throne. My sibling, Vector, who was only three decacycles old, curiously watched me, his miniscule fist stuffed in his mouth.

Sire continued to wipe me clean, having to use several clothes before he finished. He pressed a kiss to my cheekplates, his engine purring loudly to comfort me. "I'll handle them, sweetspark." He said quietly before pressing his brow against mine, just having a moment with his son. I wiped at my optics, finally calming down. He faintly smiled at me, his wings perking. I forced a smile back, instinctively copying his wings with mine.

"Who loves you?" He inquired.

"You and carrier." My smile grew.

"That's right." He nuzzled his olfactory sensor against mine. "More than anything."

I just smiled for a moment, knowing it was true. Then my smile faded. "Sire?"

"Yes, son?"

"Why does carrier cry?"

The question upset him, for his wings lowered slightly and his smile was replaced with a serious expression. He didn't answer immediately, but when he did his vocalizer was a bit firmer, more of his commanding self then my soft plated sire. "Your carrier doesn't appreciate certain things that I have given her. It's taking her time to adjust to changes in her life."

"What changes?"

"Your carrier lived quite differently before I took her as mine. But she's better off here with me. She's safer, and she will be able to have strong, healthy, brave sparklings like you, that only I can put in her." He paused. "It's complicated adult stuff. You'll understand better when you have grown and experienced and learned more about life."

"I want to know now."

"Some knowledge is too heavy for little processors to carry."

"My processor is strong enough."

He chuckled, then hugged me close. "I know it is, Starscream. But give it time to become even stronger. That way, it can carry many weights at once, and not just one heavy one. There's nothing wrong with waiting to carry certain knowledge. It will wait for you. And some of it is best left untouched."

"I want to know everything."

"So does everyone." He kissed my brow.

I reached up and grabbed his crown, pulling it off his helm. He helped me remove it, then placed it on my helm. It didn't fit, slipping down my brow until it covered my optics. He lifted it up just enough so I could see him, his grin so loving, so gentle, so everything one could want to see on their sire's faceplates.

I couldn't help but smile back at him. "I love you, sire."

His wings fluttered. "I love you more, Starscream."

"I love you… This much!" I spread out my arms to show him just how much I meant.

"And I love you to the stars and back." He pulled me against his chestplates, his body so warm against mine.

I giggled, hugging my sire's neck. "You're the best sire."

"I try to be." He stroked my backplates lovingly. "I really do." He added quietly.

I knew he did. There was no doubt that he wanted to be the best and he did whatever he could to be the most loving, protective, caring, and best sire that he could. And I'm grateful for that every orbital cycle of my life.

* * *

Sire carried me down the center of the tower, his heel thrusters loudly rumbling below me. Ventral had come by a bit ago to take Vector to be nursed and then put to recharge, giving me some time alone with my sire before he decided to take me to carrier. His trinemates came with him, as always, which annoyed me because sometimes I just wanted my sire to myself.

Sire landed on the level where carrier lived and carried me to her quarters. I still wore his crown, both servos holding it in place. He was so strong that I knew he could never drop me, so I didn't feel the need to hold onto him, even when he flew. I just watched him, his optics were orange, almost reddish, which was unusual for Seekers. We tend to have either red or yellow optics, but sire was in the middle there. Only a servoful of my siblings ever got his optics. I had my carrier's optics, but I had his faceplates. Well, the chin and cheekplates. I had my carrier's olfactory sensor. I looked more like my sire than my full siblings did, but I took from carrier personality wise more.

Skycutter stopped at Moonlight's room and knocked before opening it. His trinemates stayed outside as he closed the door behind him. He didn't always let them follow him into a breeding mate's room. I later would learn it was to ensure they wouldn't get too comfortable going into those rooms. The breeding mates were sire's, not anyone elses to use. While he did allow breeding mates to interface with each other to ensure they stayed pleasured when he couldn't satiate them every night, he was strict that his trinemates could not touch them unless he was present. He had to make sure that the only sparklings being born were his. If they weren't, the sparklings would be killed and the cheaters…. They would wish they were killed as well after he got through with them.

Thankfully, no one dared to defy sire and every breeding mate made sure to bear only his creations. It made there be a little less drama in our lives.

"Hello, Moonlight." Sire spoke as he approached her.

Carrier looked up from where she sat on the berth, her wings perking up. "Hey, Skycutter. What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong." He pressed a kiss to her lip plates, savoring a moment with her. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright. Our little one has been kicking a lot this orbital cycle." A delicate servo rested over her abdominal plating. "She wants to see her sire already." She faintly smiled.

"She? I'm pretty sure there's a mechling in you." He smirked, sitting beside her.

"Maybe. We'll have to see." She leaned against him, tired from the sparkling.

Sire took her servo in one of his, and with the other held her chin. He kissed her on the lip plates, just holding it there, showing her as much affection as he could with me around. He was very affectionate with all of his breeding mates.

"Some of my creations pulled a prank on Starscream. He's a bit upset about it, but don't worry. I'll go talk to them."

Moonlight's wings lowered before she took me from sire and placed me on her lap. I was encased by the protective arms of my carrier, feeling only the true aggression and protectiveness a carrier could have for their creations. Her engine growled softly, and I couldn't help but smile. Carrier would kick all the afts for me. All I needed to do was point.

"What did they do?" Her wings flicked, her vocalizer no longer soft.

"They just spilled slime on him. Calm down, Moonlight. I'll handle them. You need to stay here and take care of Starscream and the one in you. He needs a bath. I couldn't get all the slime out of his seams."

Moonlight just looked at sire before venting a sigh. "Yes, sir."

Sire kissed her again. "Sparklings do these things. They'll grow out of it." He kissed her again before standing up and plucking his crown from my helm. "I have work to do. I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, see you then." She said softly, her wings lowering to neutral again.

"Stay out of trouble, Star." He roughed up my helm before walking out of the room.

I turned to carrier, then hugged her. "Love you, carrier!" I exclaimed, my wings wiggling in some attempt at a flutter.

She hugged me back before picking me up and carrying me to the washroom. She silently placed me in the tub and turned on the water. I quickly got up and grabbed the soap bottle, pouring a surplus amount into the warm water before grabbing my tub toys and dumping them all in. Contrary to popular belief, not all Seekerlets hate baths. I always enjoyed them. I mean, it was the only time I could drown my toys without getting strange looks.

Carrier got on her knees beside the tub and began to scrub my wings with a cloth. As she cleaned me, I began to engage my toys in an epic battle, in which they all died by sinking to the bottom of the tub. They were truly horrific battles. Explosions in the air, everyone crashed, all drowned, and no survivors. And I enacted out all their conversations and the sound effects.

I fussed when carrier wiped my faceplates clean, then poured a cup of water over to rinse the suds away. Hated that part of it. But she soon had me clean and stepped out to give me some time to finish my imaginary battles.

"We're going down! Aaaahhh! PSSSHWWWWP!" I slammed a toy into the water, enacting out his death. "Oh no! Alpha is dead! No! The enemy shot us too! Waaaah, pwwwshhhh!" I tossed the toy away, signaling his explosion and crash somewhere beyond the confines of the tub.

As my toy crashed onto the floor my older full sibling walked into the washroom. "Whoa, what happened to that guy?" He inquired, his wings perking.

"He exploded." I said matter-of-factly, crashing another toy into the water.

"That sucks." Nacreous grunted as he sat on the edge of the tub. He was 19 stellar cycles old, a grown up practically. He was carrier's first sparkling, and the best big brother I could ever ask for. He always had my back, from my sparkling stellar cycles to my vorns as an adult. I was truly blessed to have him be my full brother. "Bit early for a bath. You that stinky, today?"

"I'm not stinky! I was pranked." My wings drooped.

"Who the hell pranked you?" His wings flared.

"You're not supposed to say bad words." I crossed my arms, disgusted that he said such a thing before me.

"Sorry, won't happen again. Who pranked you, Stars?"

"Strikeblade and Stormbreaker."

"Where are the afthelms? I'll break them in half."

"Sire is dealing with them. And no bad words!"

"Alright, sorry." He picked up one of my toys and held it up. "Who's this guy?"

"That's Captain Cosmos! He's from planet Xuslay and he fights monsters. Like this!" I held up a toy of one of the monsters. "They're organic!"

"Gross."

I giggled. "Yeah."

"Are you seriously pulling apart your toys?" He grabbed one of my toys that was missing an arm.

"I didn't break it! It just came off."

"Where's his arm?"

"I don't know."

"Well, if you find it I'll fix it for you. Don't splash water on me."

I just giggled again and splashed some more at him. "Take a bath with me!"

"There's not enough room. I would squish you."

"Squish me!" I threw my arms up, splattering water everywhere, then began to slap the water.

"Don't. You're making a mess."

"It's clean water. I'm helping to clean!"

"Mhmm. You done?"

"No!"

"Sure? You might rust if you stay in there much longer."

"Nooooo." I smiled as I shook my helm.

"Yeeeess." He smirked, then turned the water back on and proceeded to fill the cup. He then dumped it on my helm, his other servo making me stand up. I opened the drain, letting the water go as he rinsed the suds off me. Soon, I found myself bundled in a towel and lifted out of the tub. Nacreous carried me out of the washroom and sat down on the couch. I struggled when he dried my faceplates, then laughed when he tickled my abdominal plates. "Silly, bird."

"I'm not a bird!"

"Sure you are." He poked the tip of my olfactory sensor.

I smiled, then poked his back.

"Rude." He tossed the towel over my helm, which I quickly threw off me.

"Tackle hug!" I then stood on his lap before wrapping my arms around his neck and trying my best to bring him down, but to no avail. Instead, I just hugged him, but tightly. To strangle him. He gave me a quick hug back before making me sit back on his lap.

"Should I beat you at videogames again?" He inquired.

"You never beat me."

"Uh huh."

"Where's carrier?"

"She went to talk to sire. And Quickstrike is with Shadow and Typhoon. Doing femmling stuff I suppose. So, I'm sparkling sitting you."

"I don't need a sparkling sitter." I stated resolutely.

"Uh huh… Well, you got one."

"Fine." I leaned back against him, kicking my peds in the air. "I wanna watch cartoons."

"Which ones?"

"Captain Cosmo, duh!" I rolled my optics. "Keep up with me here!"

"Alright, alright, we'll watch that." He grabbed the remote and turned on the vid screen.

I cuddled against him, ready to enjoy my cartoons with my big brother.

* * *

It was a few orns after the prank that I found myself looking for my sire. He hadn't been in his throne room so I was on my way to his quarters. The guards outside his room allowed me entrance without hesitation, and I soon entered sire's room. I stopped, wings lowering at what I saw. My uncle Nightstrike was lying over the arm of the couch, with uncle Turbine holding his wrists down. Sire was just behind Nightstrike, using a metal cable to lash his aft hard and fast.

I never liked seeing my uncles or aunts being punished. Nor even the guards. But, it was the only way for them to learn. Seekers _never_ hit sparklings. That was abuse and didn't actually teach sparkling anything but to fear. But, adults were different. They had to be beaten to learn their place, to behave, and to ensure they didn't act up again. It simply was how things were. And the adults never hid it from the sparklings. I saw it. I saw a lot of it. I even saw my carrier punished a couple of times. But she was the most obedient so wasn't ever disciplined more than the servoful of times it did happen. Some of my uncles and aunts, though, were a different matter. And uncle Nightstrike was a troublemaker. He was beaten a lot. And every time was brutal.

Sire didn't seem to notice me as he kept giving Nightstrike a horrible aft beating. Nightstrike cried out from each blow, struggling very little. Sire didn't like them to struggle. He hated moving targets. Nightsrike's aft was severely dented and beginning to tear, but sire just kept hitting him, the clanging of the cable whipping over Nightstrike's aft filling the air. I wanted to cry. It just didn't seem right that anyone had to be hurt. And it did make me scared that what if I made a mistake when an adult and had to be punished? I didn't want to ever be in uncle Nightstrike's position.

Sire finally finished beating him, yelled at him some, then shoved him away. Nightstrike kept his wings as low as they could go and never made optic contact with sire. Defeated, he rubbed his burning aft as he left the room, humiliated, hurting, and upset that that all happened.

"Starscream?"

I looked up, sire standing there holding that horrible thing he used to inflict such terrible pain. I swallowed, my wings drooping. He always scared me after I heard him angrily shouting at someone. It was a firm reminder of just how large and ridiculously powerful my sire was. And there I was, this tiny sparkling who couldn't even bathe myself.

He tossed aside the cable and walked over to me. I soon found myself being picked up and held by those strong arms that just a klik ago were inflicting awful pain on my uncle. He kissed my cheekplates, his engine purring softly. "What do you need, my son?"

"I-I wanted to talk to you about school?" I stuttered, not looking at him in the optics.

"Oh? What about it?" He carried me to the couch and sat down.

I glanced at the cable where it rested beside him, then looked into those orange optics. They were gentle now, no more anger within. He could never be angry at his creations. I took a moment to study him before speaking.

"I don't wanna be taught by tutors."

He cocked his helm ever so slightly. "Why not? What do you want to do for school instead?"

"I want to go to public school. Like on TV."

"Oh?" He stroked the top of my helm. "Why do you want to go to a public school?"

"Because that's what most sparklings do. They go to school, make friends, learn, have fun, and then go home. A-and ride a bus!"

"Why would you rather go to school when you can stay in the palace and have teachers come to you?"

"Because… That's not normal."

"Who defines what is normal?"

"Sire." I said sternly, giving him a look. "We're the only ones who don't go to school."

"There's a reason for that, Starscream. It can be dangerous to go to public school. Especially with grounders. Here, you have your own classrooms, the teachers have been checked to ensure they are safe and know what they are doing, and the guards are all present. You learn the exact same things."

"But I wanna make friends!"

"You have your siblings."

"No, sire. _Real_ friends! Siblings don't count as real friends."

"Why is it so important for you to go to school?"

"Sire, please." I clasped my servos together and gave him the saddest optics I could. "I really, really, really, really, really, _really_ , REALLY wanna go to school! PLEASE!"

Skycutter didn't speak immediately. "Let me think about it, sweetspark. I just want to keep you safe, and if I can find a place that you will be safe, then I'll be willing to let it happen. But, if I can't find a safe enough school, you'll have school here with all your other siblings. Deal?"

I nodded. "Deal." I then hi-fived his giant servo.

He smirked, then roughed up my helm. "Alright. Well, best you get going. Your uncles here and I have some trine work to do."

"Okay, sire." I hugged him, then slid off his lap and hurried out the door. At the time I honestly believed that whenever sire said that it meant they were doing actual work. It would be stellar cycles later when I learned it actually meant they had mad threesomes. At least he warned me to leave so I will always be thankful for that.

* * *

I was in my quarters tying thin wire around my toys' necks and hanging them from handles of cabinet doors. I actually did this often, even going so far as flinging them around by the wires. Nacreous walked in on me stringing up my victims, his wings perking.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Hanging your toys?"

"Oh." I paused. "They're dead."

"Why are they dead?"

I shrugged. "Just are."

"Why is this one missing a helm?" He picked up one of my action figures.

"It was bitten off by an organic monster. Now he's dead." I said matter-of-factly as I continued with my macabre scene.

Nacreous rolled his optics. "You are so violent."

"What you want?"

"Well, I came to fetch you. Sire wants to talk to you."

"About?" I looked up at him, surrounded by my suffering property.

"School."

My wings perked and I quickly got up. I grabbed my Cosmo toy and held my arms up to my brother to be carried. He picked me up and walked me outside. I clung to him as he flew up the center of the tower and took me to sire's quarters. The guards opened the doors for us and Nacreous carried me within.

"Hello, Starscream." Sire smiled from where he sat on his berth, his trinemates on it beside him, kissing each other on the lip plates. It was disgusting.

Nacreous handed me to sire, then left. Sire was warm, and his cooling fans were still whirling loudly. I had been told that it was because sire wrestled with his trinemates and breeding mates. Oh, was I lied to as a sparkling. Only later would I learn it was because he had some hard interface.

A couple of my aunts were in the room, looking so happy as they lied on the couch, panting. I didn't spare them much thought and focused on my sire.

"You decided on my school?" I asked eagerly.

"Well, since you asked me the other orbital cycle about it I have been doing some research and think I may have found something. Vos Primary Flight School in the eastern quadrant of the city is a public school that seems to fit the profile of what I would trust. Most of the teachers are fliers, and there are grounders but it's mostly fliers. And it's not huge so you wouldn't be overwhelmed."

"So, I can go?"

"If you promise to work hard, do your best, and be careful, yes, you may." He smiled.

My optics widened as a large smile spread over my visage. "I will, sire! Thank you!" I hugged him, bouncing on his lap.

He smiled, giving me a hug back. "You're welcome, sweetspark. It doesn't start up until a couple of more orns so you have time to prepare."

"Can I take Cosmo?" I held up my toy, shoving it in his faceplates.

"I don't see why not." He paused. "Why are you tying wire around your toys?"

"He was hanged. Again."

Sire raised an optical ridge at me. "I see. Well, don't do that to any of your classmates." He kissed my cheekplates. "Run along, now. Your sire needs to continue playing with your aunts and uncles. They've been bored all orbital cycle."

"So bored." Flare purred his engine as he snuggled against sire, his wings fluttering.

"Mmm, more playtime?" Aunt Cinder perked her wings, a lustful smile on her lip plates.

"I do love wrestling." Aunt Phantom winked at sire.

"Summon Nebula and Starblade. I need some fresh femmes in here." Sire smiled as he set me on the ground.

I walked out of the room, not interested in the things sire seemed to do every orbital cycle. I excitedly ran down the hallways, eager to inform my carrier of the news.

* * *

The orns leading up to the first orbital cycle of school seemed to drag on. I spent them preparing, and my carrier got me a Cosmo fuelbox, and a backpack for my datapads. Sparklings couldn't access subspace pockets. It was too hard to do until we were adolescent. I had my own bottle of energon with Captain Cosmo and his friends on it, and sire had allowed me to paint my wings. Sparklings don't usually paint themselves until adolescence because growing simply caused the paint to peel off. But, I got to look fancy for my first orbital cycle at school.

Carrier had cried when I departed. Sire just gave me a pat on the helm and a communicator to call if I needed him. I think he just was at the point it was easier for him to see his sparklings off since he had already kicked out a hundred creations at this time. I was not looking forward to when I turned 25 stellar cycles and it was my turn to get booted from the nest…

Two guards took me to the entrance of the school, wished me luck, then departed. I followed the other sparklings, listening to what the adults were telling us to do. Miss Crystal directed me to her classroom and took my stuff away. I watched her put it on the shelf with other students' fuelboxes and bags, then sat at the seat she pointed at. I was excited. Immensely so. Here I was, at a school with a teacher and other students all around me. And they were so different looking. They had wheels, and doorwings, and some no wings or wheels, and some were already really big and others still quite small. It was so cool!

Here I was in the place where people on TV went! I could make friends, I could have recharge overs, I could do homework, I could do so much and none of my siblings, aunts, uncles, sire, or carrier were around!

My wings drooped when I realized that. Sire and carrier were not around. Suddenly, school seemed very different. I don't know what came over me, but I found myself crying for my carrier, suddenly wanting to go home to her. And I needed sire too. He had to be there with carrier.

Miss Crustal was beside me instantly, holding my servo in hers. "What's wrong, sweetie?" She so kindly asked.

"I-I want carrier!" I wailed, wiping at my optics as coolant poured out.

"Aw, sweetie, it's okay. Your carrier will get you in a few joors. We need to do some school first."

"I want carrier!"

"You want to tell carrier you did well in school right?"

I nodded. Of course I did, femme.

"You want to show her that you made crafts in school right? Make her so proud of the awesome things you made, right?"

I nodded again, calming down some. I wanted to make carrier proud. And making something for her certainly seemed like a project I would want to participate in. Maybe make something for sire too.

"Well, in order to make something for your carrier you need to work. And time will go by faster when you do work. I promise."

"Promise?"

"Mhmm. Why don't you do some drawing until we're ready to get started." She placed a coloring tablet before me.

"Can I draw Cosmo?" I held up my Cosmo toy to her.

"Of course you can, sweetspark. I gotta go help the other sparklings so go ahead and draw Cosmo."

She then stood up and left. I grabbed the tablet, setting Cosmo down on the desk. Soon, I was scribbling out the best I could, trying to draw Cosmo. Miss Crystal began the class a few kliks later and started us on our alphabet. I soon forgot about my creators and enjoyed learning how to read some new words.

* * *

I ran to sire and carrier when I got back home. Carrier scooped me up into her arms and kissed me on the cheekplates, hugging me close to her.

"Oh, my sparkling!" She fluttered her wings. "How was it, love?"

"I made you this!" I held up the craft I made, consisting of metal bits glued to a sheet to create a crude drawing of her, sire, and me all together. It had been painted over to make it look more like them.

"Oh, I love it!" Carrier took it, her wings fluttering. "This shall go on the wall."

I giggled, my wings trying to flutter back.

"That's very impressive, Starscream." Sire commented, patting me on the helm. "How was it?"

"I liked it!" I bounced in carrier's arms. "Tomorrow we are gonna watch a movie!"

"I'm jealous. I have to work tomorrow."

I giggled at that, then held my arms out for sire. He took me, giving me a careful hug. "Thank you, sire." I said softly, hugging his neck.

He grinned. "No need to thank me, Starscream. I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"I am. It's awesome. I love school." I kept hugging him, wings still trying to flutter.

* * *

I did love my school. I went four orbital cycles in a row with two orbital off before going back. I learned how to read, how to write, made crafts, we sang songs, watched movies that would teach us life lessons, and I was making friends. Some of the other students were wary of me at first. After all, they had been told by their creators that Seekers were dangerous and to avoid us, but seeing me just being another sparkling made them realize that those things were not true. Not everyone became my friend, but I had a few who did like hanging out with me. As I got older I ended up being a popular youngling. Not to brag, but my elementary and high school stellar cycles I was the popular youngling who was asked to go to dances with. I was the only Seeker ever in my schools. Most Seekers either were homeschooled with teachers going to them, such as what sire did with his creations, or Seekers would go to private schools where there was less chance of something happening due to strict policies and rules. I was adamant about only going to public schools, and my sire acquiescent to my demands. I know I've already said it a few times, but my sire really was amazing and did everything he could to make his creations happy.

While my elementary and high school stellar cycles were absolutely awesome and I loved it so much, something happened in my primary stellar cycles that I should mention. Most of my primary time was normal. Just doing some school, making friends, bringing stuff home to give to my creators, and lots of nap times (Primus, I miss those orbital cycles), one thing… One terrible event happened that I am only now feeling safe enough to talk about. And this event effected much of my trining and life with my trine stellar cycles after it happened.

I had been attending school for about… Oh, my brother was born before this happened so it was maybe six decacycles. I was at school, like any other orbital cycle, with my friend, Gearshift. Gearshift was a grounder, yes, shame on me befriending one of those, but he was the tiniest little truck ever and I still mock him for that. Believe it or not, my sire did allow Gearshift over for play dates despite him not liking grounders. I think Gearshift was just always too innocent to ever hate. And if you ever read this, Gearshift, yes, I was the one who ate your energon goodies whenever you weren't looking. I guess I finally meched up enough to admit to it.

I digress.

As I had been saying, it was about six decacycles since I had started going to school that I met Brakelight. He was a teacher there and acted very friendly towards us. He gave us energon goodies, always had a smile, and gave the little mechlings more attention and praise than the femmlings. I thought he was just a nice, older mech. But, I was a sparkling, naïve, and my trust of strangers would never be the same after what he did.

"Hello, Starscream." Brakelight greeted me as he always did. A large smile on his faceplates and more energon goodies in a bag he handed to me.

"Hello, Mr. Brakelight!" I smiled, wings fluttering. I was getting better at that by now.

He sat beside me. It was lunch time and I usually sat at a table in the corner with Gearshift and sometimes a few other friends. But Gearshift wasn't at school that orbital cycle. He had gotten a virus and was home sick. My other friends were still getting their lunches from their bags so hadn't come over yet.

Brakelight handed me the baggie of goodies and watched me begin to eat them. He just smiled, silent before speaking. "So, Gearshift is sick, eh?"

"Mhmm." I nodded, my mouth too full to speak.

He made a sad face. "Sorry to hear that. Say, you wanna eat in my office so you're not alone?"

I looked up at him, a little surprise he would offer that. "In your office? Really?" My wings perked.

"Sure." He smirked. "I have some goodies in there."

The thought of more energon goodies was enough to convince me. I nodded quickly. "Yeah!" I smiled, my wings fluttering some more.

"Then let's go." He stood up and led the way.

I grabbed my fuelbox and Cosmo before following him. His office was more in the back of the school, so it was a bit of a walk to get to. He unlocked the door and allowed me to go in first. It was just a normal office with a desk, computer, some shelves with datapads, and wall decorations. My memory of the room was that it was dark, but I'm pretty sure the lighting was just as bright as the rest of the building.

He sat at his chair, then paused before sighing. "Oh, shoot. I don't have another chair. Hmm." He pretended to think before speaking. "Well, guess you can just sit on my lap."

I sat on my sire's lap all the time. And my uncles' laps and my older brothers' laps. I didn't see anything wrong with sitting on the lap of yet another mech. I was just too young. So I did. I climbed onto his lap and sat down. I put my fuelbox onto his desk and set Cosmo beside it. I looked back at him, wings perking.

"Where's the other goodies?"

"Oh, right." He opened a drawer of his desk and pulled out a box. He placed it before me and opened it, revealing many energon goodies within. "Have as many as you like."

"Thank you!" I smiled, digging into the feast before me.

Brakelight watched me, silent, just studying my frame. "You have such pretty wings, Starscream." He said, his servos gently touching mine.

"Mhmm. I'm gonna use them for flying when I get older." I replied, still eating. My creators touched my wings all the time. To give me playful tugs or to clean them. I wasn't concerned about another adult touching them.

"Oh, yes, Seekers are very good fliers." His servos lowered, touching my hips. I paused in my eating. "Seekers are very beautiful, you know? And you're no exception." His vocalizer was lower now.

"Um… I guess so…" I swallowed, not sure what was happening.

"I always wanted to be best friends with a Seeker." He continued, his servos now feeling over my chest plates, moving in a circular motion where my cooling fans were located, then giving them… Squeezes.

"What are you doing?" I asked, looking back at him.

"Oh, just playing a game with you. It's a secret game, though. Only best friends play it with each other so you can't tell anyone else about it or else it won't be a secret best friend game anymore." He replied, smiling, his servos still feeling over me.

"Really?"

"Really." One of his servos lowered and touched my codpiece. I jumped a little. No one but carrier touched me there and it was only for cleaning. Otherwise, no one got near that part of me. Not even sire. And carrier had been teaching me how to clean it myself so had me cleaning that area more than she was. What made it stranger was he started to give it small squeezes and stroking it. I never felt that before.

"I don't like this game." I said quietly, reaching for Cosmo.

"It's a fun game. It gets more fun the more you do it." He reassured me. "Trust me. I'm your friend."

I didn't say anything, just hugged Cosmo as he kept feeling over my body, squeezing, touching, rubbing… His servos felt me everywhere, but my aft and codpiece were his favorite places to hold.

Then, it all stopped.

"Finish refueling, then go back to class." He instructed. "And remember, Starscream. Don't tell anyone. Do you promise?"

I didn't answer immediately. "I… I promise." I whispered.

"And remember, you can't break a promise. Ever." He smirked.

"Why not?"

"Because if you do, terrible things happen to you. And we don't want, now do we?"

I shook my helm.

"Good. This is just between you and me. Two best friends."

"Okay." I swallowed, not hungry anymore.

"Refuel."

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to refuel, Starscream. Or else people will wonder why."

"I'm just not hungry."

"Starscream, you need to refuel or else I'll have to punish you for not refueling."

I looked back at him. "Why? Carrier never gets mad when I don't refuel. She just gives me fuel later."

"Because, if you don't refuel people may find out about our secret best friend game. and you promised to keep it secret."

"But…"

"Starscream, refuel or I'll have to punish you." He said sternly.

I was scared. None of this was making sense. Carrier never threatened to punish me for not refueling. Sometimes sparklings just weren't hungry. But now thinking back on what happened I know this was simply an excuse of his to have his fantasy with little mechlings. And I would be seeing a lot more of it.

He turned me over very quickly and before I knew it several hard smacks from his servo struck my aft. It was over quickly, but it hurt a lot. I was terrified at that point. I have _never_ been struck before as punishment. Seekers never hit their sparklings or even considered it. It was barbaric and poor parenting to do so. But he had hit my little rear end at least seven times. I looked up at him, coolant in my optics, wanting to cry, but I was so scared. What if he hit me for that, too?

"Refuel, Starscream." He snapped, making me sit back down on his lap.

I was trembling now. I didn't want to be hit again. With coolant leaking down my cheekplates and soft sobs escaping my vocalizer, I forced myself to take in my lunch. I wanted my carrier. I didn't want to be here anymore. He kept me on his lap until I finished refueling, then cleaned my faceplates.

"Return to class, Starscream." He ordered. "And remember. Our little secret." He smiled, but it was not like any smile before.

I took my fuelbox and Cosmo and left. I returned to class but didn't speak the rest of the orbital cycle. When I got home, my creators knew something was up, but I told them I was upset that Gearshift never showed and I missed him and it made me miss carrier and sire. Carrier called the school and talked to Miss Crystal, but Miss Crystal knew nothing. She noticed the change in my mood too, but she guessed I simply ate too many energon goodies and felt sick.

I wish I knew what to do when I was little. I don't blame my creators for any of this, but I wish they had noticed things sooner. I wish I knew to tell them and not keep secrets. But I didn't. And it got worse.

He didn't do it every orbital cycle, but sometimes he would invite me to his office when the other teachers weren't around and molest me. And he kept getting bolder. He would find any reason he could to hit my bottom. Some orbital cycles he would give me a quick aft beating up to five times. I cried, but I had to hide my tears quickly or else he would give me more. Things were not good with him, but with the rest of school it was fine. I loved my other teachers, my classmates, the things we did. Just those times with Brakelight… I sometimes wonder if I was his only victim because I was the Seeker, or if there were others and I just happen to be one of them. I don't know. I don't even know if he ever got caught. Perhaps my part in this fate was meant to be to help others be aware of such things. I don't know. I just know it happened and no one heard my silent screams. But I know that if my creators had found out they would have saw to the slow, painful demise of Brakelight.

This molesting and abuse of his continued for a stellar cycle before he took the next step. I was in his office and he was touching me as usual. But this time he removed his own codpiece and let his spike out of its casing. I had seen spikes before. I had one, I had seen my brothers' spikes when they got baths, and I had seen adult spikes when accidentally walking in on people. Of course, I didn't know the purpose of it. They had all made up something about "dancing" or whatever, and told me that when I was ten stellar cycles old I would learn what my little friend was for. But until then, to just make sure it was kept clean and safe. Seeing Brakelight's spike was still a surprise to me. And if my memory serves me right, it was not impressive at all.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Oh, we're still playing the game, but now you are going to touch me too. Just stroke this. It's the thing best friends touch." He explained, lifting his spike up to me so it was between my legs as I sat on his lap.

"Are you going to touch mine?" I inquired.

"Mhmm. Can you remove your codpiece?"

I did remove it. And he touched me. And he made me touch him back. It was so weird feeling him touching me there, and he made sounds when I touched him back. And this continued. He did it several times to me. Then, he would give me an aft beating and immediately stroke my spike, bringing the pleasure and pain together. And it was some time later he would touch my valve too.

I just learned to let it happen. I was getting use to it. He was molding me into his play thing. And I didn't know better. I still never told anyone.

Everything took a major turn a few decacycles later. He had told a teacher that I wasn't feeling well and was sending me home early. Actually, he took me to his office and locked the doors. I was ready to have him give me the usual aft beating then touch me, but he changed some things. He did give me a few hard smacks on my rear, touched my frame, but then he massaged my valve. He never bother touching my spike. Just my valve.

"Can you open this for me? We're going to the next part of the game." He smiled, tapping my valve cover.

"What's that?" I asked, wiping away tears from my aft beating.

"This is when we have the most fun in our game. Open in and I'll show you."

I shook my helm. "I-I don't want to."

His optics narrowed. "Open it, Starscream, or else I'll punish you some more."

"Please, don't." I said quickly, not wanting to be hit again.

"Then open it, Starscream. You have to or else I'll have to punish you and I may be forced to use the paddle again."

I did not like the paddle at all. I did open my valve cover, it taking me a moment to figure out how to do so. He touched me down there, feeling all around it. It was such a new feeling when the tip of his digit nudged a little inside. I was so scared I was trembling. Then… His spike pushed into me. And I cried.

I won't go into too much detail of what happened. I was barely able to get myself to write this much of my experience with Brakelight, but it hurt. It hurt a lot. And I cried. He covered my mouth when I cried. And after he climaxed in me and used me, he finished it by giving me another aft beating for not being "brave" through it. It was a really bad aft beating, too. He even used the paddle on me.

He tried to win me back over with goodies and rubbing over my very sore aft, but I was finally done with this game.

I never followed him into his office again after that. I told Miss Crystal I was scared of him and I stayed close to her and the other teachers always. I ensure they were never out of my sight. I even followed them if they had to leave the room for a nanosecond. I cried when they told me to stay put and that they would be right back. I would cling to Miss Crystal's legs and ate my lunch beside her always. I never took the chance of being alone with Brakelight ever again after he raped me. But I still never told anyone.

I think he realized that if he pushed anymore I would break and tell, for after a time he stopped trying to get me back into his office. He left me alone. But I suspect he just moved on to another target. And after he stopped talking to me I started to feel safe about coming to school again. I was able to go back to enjoying it fully. And when I graduated to elementary school it felt like such a great weight was removed from my shoulders for I never had to see Brakelight again. Gearshift transferred to the same school I did so it was so much easier. I had my friend, I had my life, and I had left that pedophile behind. At least physically I had. The things he did to me still haunt me and would have a lasting effect on my relationship with others. But slowly I am fighting those battles and winning. I may not have been able to tell everything that happened in that office, but I did say a lot and that shows how far I've come over these vorns. I can only encourage everyone to teach their sparklings to not keep secret if someone touches them or makes them uncomfortable. I went through something terrible, so fragging awful and no other sparkling should ever have to suffer as I had.

Other than what happened with Brakelight, my sparklinghood was relatively normal. I played with my siblings, I was given "The Talk" at ten stellar cycles old, I got a good education, worked hard with my school, made lots of friends, had a bunch more siblings, got new aunts and uncles, and was able to just be another prince of Vos.

Things would change so much for me when I was kicked out of the palace, joined the War Academy, and met two Seekers who would change my life forever. But, I'll start that story in the next chapter. Thank you for reading this far into my life and I hope you enjoy the rest of my story.

* * *

 **Wow, been 78 days since I last uploaded anything. College has been crazy this semester and it took me 14 weeks to be able to get just this ONE chapter written. Ugh... Anyway, here is the first chapter of probably my most epic fanfic. This one will be the most triggering, realistic, and educational out of all of them. So I really hope you stick till the end even if it takes me a while to get to that end.**

 **So, this is my first time in forever writing from first person. So forgive me if it's not the best. I have never done a full story like this before. But so far it's been fun writing from Starscream's perspective.**

 **This first chapter and the next are more of less "introductions" to get you caught up on speed for the main part of the story which will be his life as a trined Seeker. So if it feels a little slow, just stick with it. It'll change a lot by chapter 3.  
**

 **Starscream hanging his toys is something I always did. I was so violent. And let's face it. We all drowned out toys in the bathtub. Hence their purpose in life.**

 **Yes, big families are the worst. Not just because with humans overpopulation, but also the kids never get the attention they need and it's simply abusive. Small families only. Stop overpopulation and give kids proper attention. Not to mention it's healthier for women to have two or less babies. Anymore and it really affects your health with the hormones, risk of cancer, etc. Less is always better! And if you want more, ADOPT!**

 **And, yes, homeschooling is bad, but the Seekers are doing it the RIGHT way by having teachers actually come and teach. Sadly, most homeschooling is done by abusive parents (like mine). The abuse is hidden, the kids are not taught properly, and it's just all fucked up. If you have to home school your kids for any reason, have ACTUAL educated teachers come over to teach them and check on them to ensure no abuse is going on. Many people such as myself are working on making homeschooling illegal due to all the abuse it allows to happen. Like, kids dying from being neglected, beaten to death, and not even taught to read bad. It needs to end.**

 **And kids who don't want to eat shouldn't be forced. Sometimes you're just not hungry and for parents to threaten and punish their kids for not eating or not liking a food is wrong. Just feed them something else or feed them later. Why should only adults control when and what they eat?**

 **The dark office symbolizes how it was a bad place. It seems that when our brain learns of a place being sad or just bad it always remembers it as being dark, even if it was bright.**

 **So, yeah, this story is going to be very triggering. Even triggering for me to write. It's going to cover so much domestic abuse. Things that happened to me and others. It's going to be a wild ride, but I hope you stay with me through it. But I hope you learn from it how to spot signs of domestic abuse and how to help yourself to get away from it if you find yourself in it.**

 **As I've said before, been super busy with college, so updates will be slow until I graduate May 2018. To stay updated on what I'm doing, check out my deviantART page. Ga-Maleven on deviantART. You'll know me. I'm the one with Starscream and dragons all over my profile... Feel free to PM me any questions you have on the story or when next chapters may be coming! I always check this site even if I'm not posting! And please keep up with me on dA! I always post what I'm doing and you can read my Educational Journals there where I talk about animal/human abuse/rights, and you can see all the artwork I'm doing for school and fun. :)**

 **Anyway, here are the facts on Seeker Culture and my headcanon for how Cybertronians reproduce. Just in case you haven't read my other fics.**

 **Cybertronian Reproduction:**

(Explanation if this is also given in chapter 5 of _Illicitus_. Explains more of how interface feels.)

Cybertronian reproduce similar to mammals. Mechs possess a spike (penis) and a valve (vagina). Femmes only possess a valve. The spike and valve are protected under fold away "lids" that move at either the command of the owner or when turned on. Over them is the codpiece, which can fold away at command or when turned on.

Depending on how a mech is turned on, their spike may harden or valve lubricate. Transfluid (cum) is energon and oil based, being leaked out from the valve to make it easier for the spike to move in and out of it. The spike also produces it's own transfluid (semen) to be released out of it when ejaculating.

Similar to organics, the valve has many sensory nodes inside of it to feel everything, and a "G-spot." This creates pleasure and a wonderful sensation to the Cybertronian being spiked (penetrated). The spike also contains sensory nodes on it to feel pleasure when being stroked or moving inside of a valve. Sending electrical currents into transformation seams and sensitive body parts can also turn on a Cybertronian.

The spike enters the valve, and the mech humps the other until they ejaculate, releasing nanites (sperm) into the valve's line (cervix). The nanites travel into the gestation tank (uterus) where they interact with the gestation nanites (eggs). They connect to each other and begin to form a protoform (fetus) which grows inside of the gestation tank for a stellar cycle (7.5 months).

The protoform floats inside of the gestation tank in an energon based fluid keeping it from slamming around while inside and keeping it warm. There are wires connected to the protoform acting as umbilical cords, giving it all the energon it requires to grow.

The carrier (mother) ingests carrier additives which is simply a special kind of metal ground up into a powder. Usually taken in energon, this powder is pumped from the carrier's fuel tank and into the gestation tank. It then fuses to the protoform to begin to grow, developing the inside and outside of the frame (body). If the carrier does not take the additives, then their systems will take metal from their body to make the protoform, which harms the carrier.

A protoform can only form if there is a spark bond between the two mating Cybertronians. A spark bond happens when two mating Cybertronians remove their chest plates and allow their sparks to exchange CNA (DNA) and coding between each other. Spark bonds usually happen during a shared overload (orgasm), but sometimes can be achieved without even interfacing. In order to be successful, the spark bonding and connecting of nanites must happen simultaneously in order for a protoform to begin to form. It is this reason why Cybertronians who wish to reproduce must interface quite a bit to ensure that the delicate timing of spark bonding and nanite connecting happens at the exact time. Even a few astroseconds off can lead to the carrier's spark rejecting a newly formed spark and thus ending the carrying before it even has a chance to begin.

It is possible for the nanites of one mech to form a fetus and the spark bond from another mech to form the sparkling's spark. This is very rare and can only happen under double penetration with spark bonding.

A carrying Cybertronian experiences many of the same complications as an organic. Sore backstrut (spine), peds (feet), weariness, depression, morning sickness, heat waves, helmaches (headaches), odd cravings, mood swings, and programming getting "out of wrack." Postpartum depression and other mental issues are also possible for them to develop during and after the carrying.

While carrying, the sparkling's spark grows inside of the carrier's spark chamber, feeding off the carrier's spark. It is sustained by the carrier's spark, and has a special bond with the carrier. While still inside the carrier, the sparkling will begin to recognize their carrier's vocalizer, some words, and begins the bonding process. In the first orn, the spark may split once or more times. This creates twins or however many sparklings that the spark splits into. The gestation tank with them force the protoform to split to create more so that each spark will have a body.

Just before labor begins, the spark of the protoform travels through a tube to enter the gestation tank. From there, it goes inside of the sparkling and labor begins. When giving birth, the protoform exits out of the gestation tank helm first. The wires disconnect from it as it is pushed out by the gestation tank moving the individual plates to push it along. It emerges helm first out of the valve, silver and the optics offline. Optics online three to five orbital cycles (days) after being born. The gestation tank empties itself of the fluids through the valve, during labor. The time period of labor differs, sometimes being only a breem to joors.

Once the sparkling is born, they begin to nurse and develop a bond with their carrier. A tube from the inside of the carrier's chest is given to the sparkling to nurse from. This small tube is located near the spark chamber and is connected to a small tank that produces weakened energon. Each Cybertronian possesses two of these tubes. The carrier continues to take the carrier additives, which are pumped into the tank for the weakened energon. This allows the sparkling to take in the metal to grow, while also refueling on energon that won't over energize their weak engines. They nurse multiple times an orbital cycle for the first few orns, gradually decreasing. When they are about five decacycles old they may begin to try regular energon, but will continue to nurse for almost two stellar cycles before being completely weaned.

Once weaned, they continue to retrieve their carrier addictives by adding it to their regular energon, while the carrier can cease taking it. The sparklings keep taking the additives until they stop growing at about seventeen to twenty stellar cycles.

Between one orbital cycle old to two stellar cycles old, creations are referred to as sparklings. Three stellar cycles to four they are toddlers. Five to twelve stellar cycles they are younglings. Thirteen to twenty-five stellar cycles they are adolescent. Older they are adults.

Overloads are the release of built up energy from interface. They can sometimes hurt, but usually if the Cybertronian is being forced to interface or not enjoying it. Overloads always occur. Unlike with organics who reach organism if they are turned on, overloads are simply from the surge of energy that always builds up. Some may take longer to build up enough excess energy to overload, such as larger Cybertronians. Some Cybertronians can't overload too many times in a single interface session due to the risk of overheating.

Cybertronians use protection by either disconnecting nanite wires from under a panel just above a mech's codpiece, or using a grounding. Disconnecting the nanite wires prevents an electrical surge from "onlining" the nanites, thus making them infertile. When activated with the electrical surge, they are active and can connect to gestation nanites. If self repairs activates around the nanite wires, they may reconnect, so constant checking of them before interface is necessary.

A grounding is a small device placed inside of a Cybertronian that pinches close the tube connecting the valve to the gestation tank, thus keeping nanites from going through it. They are easy to put in and remove.

Another method is simply not to sparkbond, but it is safer to use the above methods just in case.

Cybertronians can pass on ITVs (Interface Transmitted Virus) to each other through interface or energon mixing. Some ITVs may be minor, but many are deadly and can cause the spark to cease pulsating.

Sparklings can sometimes be born with mental or physical defects or mutations. Most physical mutations can be repaired. Sparks can die when inside of the carrier's spark chamber, thus killing the sparkling. Miscarriages and other complications can also occur. Cybertronians do have abortion methods, and can also perform C-sections.

* * *

 **Mates and Culture About Interface:**

(Examples of Cybertronians joining can be found in chapter 17 of _Ancillam_ , and chapters 13 and 15 of _Invictus_.)

Cybertronians will get mech-friends or femme-friends, dating them and getting to know them. When Cybertronians are betrothed, they are referred to as "mates." Mates usually have regular interface and may even begin to reproduce. When they join (marry) they become Conjunx Endura for life, unless they divorce.

The ceremony for joining usually has family members and friends of those joining gathered to watch. Someone that is an official or in some type of office tends to proceed the ceremony, but it can be anyone. They will address the crowd, then ask for the two joining to recite their vows to each other. After doing so, the two joining will use laser scalpels to write their designations on each other's sparkcasings, sealing that they belong to each other. They kiss and then there is partying afterwards to celebrate.

To grounders and most Cybertronians, interface is something to be kept behind closed doors. To Seekers, it can be done anywhere at anytime because it's a natural act. Schools have classes on interface to educate younglings regarding interface, protection, and sparkling development.

Brothels, prostitutes, porn, and other uses of interface is common with Cybertronians. Even rape. Cybertronians also make use of interface toys from dildos, string balls, vibrators, and other such items. Fetishes of all sorts are common in Cybertronian culture, from bondage, BDSM, gagging, blindfolding, pain play, energon play, emetophilia, rape play, and many others.

* * *

 **Seeker Culture**

Seekers originally lived in trines that were used for the purpose of breeding. Over time, Seekers had to alter their CNA to adapt in the changing world. Seekers were seen as "low life" creatures and were often attacked. They changed their bodies to be more aerodynamic, altering their CNA to naturally pass the traits along. They become built for combat, speed, and the trine evolved to be a fighting unit.

Originally, the trine would be composed of one dominant mech and either two femmes, or a submissive mech and femme, or two submissive mechs. The submissive would be sparked by the dominant mech, and they would raise families like this. There was always the Alpha Seeker who ruled all Seekers, and in later years would be the one to lead them into battle.

Despite Seekers changing their frames and becoming centered around battle, there are many things that never changed for their culture. It is referred to as "traditionalism," and there are still many traditional Seekers and those who practice the old ways.

 **Trining:**

 _(More information regarding trining in Spurius. Starscream explains in detail in chapter 2 and courting happens throughout story with trining in chapter 4.)_

Seekers will trine other Seekers, first by courting. Courting is done when one Seeker approaches another and offers the second Seeker gifts, such as crystal flowers, energon treats, or other items. The courting Seeker will also touch the wings and frame of the Seeker being courted, even kissing them on the lip plates or offering themselves for interface, which is a more desperate approach. pinching wings, slapping afts, and groping codpieces is all natural. Courting Seekers will also stalk their potential trinemates, following them everywhere. They keep their wings spread, showing them off, and will often show off their skills in the sky or strength by flying around or doing difficult activities.

The Seeker being courted often rejects the other Seeker by punching them, chasing them off, or ignoring them. Tolerating and accepting gifts is a sign of interest, and allowing the courting Seeker to get bolder means they are heavily leaning on accepting them as a trinemate. Courting can take stellar cycles before a seeker accepts the other, and almost nothing can be said during it, just using body language to communicate, and maybe say a few things as to why they would make for a perfect trinemate.

A Seeker accepts a trinemate based on their looks, strength, flying skills , and if they are dominant or submissive. A trine should always have one dominant Seeker as trineleader and two submissives. This keeps the trine at peace when triinemates are not fighting their leader for dominance. If the Seekers are compatible flyers and meet all other requirements, they will trine.

Trining is often done by first dancing in the skies. They do this by flying wingtip to wingtip, making a triangle between them, if there are three. If two are trining to make a half trine, then they fly undercarriage to undercarriage, pressed against each other. The Seekers then spiral around, flying vertically, then diving down, then horizontally, never breaking formation of the spiral.

Once the dance is completed, the Seekers then interface with each other. After bonding, they recite their trine vows to each other. Then, they fight for dominance. The Seeker who defeats and dominates the other two is the trineleader, and remains unless challenged and defeated by a trinemate. The two trinemates then fight to see who will be second in command of the trine, the victor dominating the other.

A trine vow contains promises of staying faithful, true, kind, caring, courageous, loyal, and other endearing sentiments about how they will treat their trinemates. Every vow ends with the same closing words, "This I swear to you, my new part. My completed spark. Together we are, forever unseparated, united through hell, we are one... Trine till the bitter end. This I swear to you, my trinemate, my brother/sister, my friend. My life, my spark, we are one, till we are none."

Seekers refer to trinemates as "brothers" or "sisters," since a trinemate is sort of like a sibling, as well as a best friend, lover, and Conjunx Endura. It is the strongest relationship a Seeker can have with anyone, and is rarely ever broken. There are rare cases that a trine has broken up for being incompatible, often due to trining too quickly, or from unfaithful trinemates. When such instances happen, the trinemates who cannot fit in the trine leave to find new trinemates that they work better with.

Trines will stay in a set formation that shows their rank, and makes them a stronger fighting force on the battlefield. The trineleader walks/flies in front while the trinemate who is in second command of the trine follows just behind and to the right of the trineleader. The third trinemate is just behind and to the left of the trineleader. And other mates that may have been accepted into the trine follow behind and to the right of the second trinemate, and one to the left and behind of the third trinemate, if there is more than one. The pattern continues, looking much like birds flying in the V formation.

 **Trineleader:**

The trineleader is in charge of protecting the trine, making all the decisions for the trine, and discipline the trine. Only the Alpha can discipline the trineleader. Discipline is usually physical and done in public to humiliate the troublemaker. Physical punishment could include beating trinemates on the aft with a metal cable, flogging with an energon whip, or tearing wings. Dominating is used often. After any physical punishment, the punished Seeker is then kissed and bonded with to remind them that they are loved, they just made a mistake and had to be punished for it. The trineleader also tells them that their punishment is over and they are forgiven, and that they won't be punished for the crime again, unless they commit the same offense and have to be punished for that time.

Trineleaders will assert dominance often if needed. They flare their wings, dominate disobedient trinemates, bite trinemates on neck during interface, bend their wings, or pin them down until they submit.

Trineleaders will protect their trinemates and any creations or mates that are in their trine. They guard them from any outside threat, keep the peace in the trine, and see to that the sparklings are raised right. Trineleaders are the ones to ensure that the trine is always fueled, has a safe place to live, kept away from danger, and see to their every need. They are the primary role models of their creations, and are looked up to by the entire trine for protection, leadership, and advice.

 **Breeding:**

Traditional trineleaders never are spiked, only doing that to their trinemates. Trineleaders spark their trinemates, sometimes without even telling them that they are trying to spark them. They choose when they want to have a sparkling, and if the trineleader is a femme she decides when her mech trinemate(s) can spark her. Femme trineleaders will either choose a trinemate to spark her, or make them fight and the victor is the one to breed with her.

Traditional trineleaders often have six or more sparklings with their trinemates, the more sparklings showing that they are strong and capable of breeding the next generation. A sparkling is never to be struck, physical punishment reserved only for adults. Learning how to fight starts young, including how to use weapons, servo-to-servo combat, and how to battle in the skies. Traditional trineleaders will kill sparklings that are born with defects, mutations, or are bastards from the trinemate cheating. Sometimes they might even tear the sparkling out of the gestation tank if they find out it is not theirs.

Traditional trineleaders will select one trinemate as a preferred breeding partner based on that they are a better frag, make creations who are healthier and stronger, less still-borns or miscarriages, or none at all, able to give birth easier with no complications, and are better at raising and caring for their creations. Usually, a trineleader will interface with only the trinemate they wish to procreate with for an orn straight. If the one to be sparked still isn't afterwards, the other trinemate will then be interfaced for an orn, and the patterned continued until someone is sparked. If no one is sparked within a stellar cycle's time, then it is concluded on you is infertile and they are simply never used for breeding.

If a carrier rejects their offspring, they will be raised by another trinemate as theirs and the trineleader simply will not breed with that trinemate.

Seekers carrying more than one sparklings are better for breeding. If the Alpha doesn't have multiple sparklings at once from their trinemates, but another Seeker does, they can be challenged and possibly lose their position for not being a good leader. Or, the Alpha can go and kill the sparklings before they are even born.

 **Outside Mating:**

Trined Seekers are not to interface or take a mate outside of the trine unless the entire trine approves. If a trinemate does not get the trine's permission they can be brutally punished and the one they cheated with killed by the trineleader, and any sparklings murdered as well.

The outsider must prove to the trine that they are worthy to be accepted into the trine and to be with the Seeker. If the trine accepts them, they will be made a new member of the trine and allowed to live with them, breed with them, and bond with all trinemates.

If a Seeker is proposed to by an outsider who has been accepted into the trine, then the Seeker cannot interface with their mate until after they have become Conjuges Endurae. Once they are officially joined, they consummate that night and may continue to interface as they so desire.

 **Raising Seekerlets:**

Seekerlets are never to be struck or physically disciplined. They are taught how to fight in the air and on the ground at a young age, and to be wary of grounders. Seekerlets are to stay in the trine until age of twenty-five stellar cycles. While in the trine, they are under the protection and guidance of the trineleader. They are part of his/her trine, and are raised by everyone in the trine.

Once they are old enough, they are kicked out of the trine to find their own trinemates. Kicking the youngling out is done by the trineleader, who either chases them out or may grab them and throw them out the door.

Seekerlets learn about interface when ten stellar cycles old, their thrusters activating when they are twelve to fourteen stellar cycles of age, and able to transform at about seventeen to eighteen stellar cycles. When they are very young, they copy the wing movements of their creators and other Seekers as they learn how to use their wings.

Traditional trines often have many sparklings, sometimes up to fourteen or even twenty. They are spaced out, often four to five stellar cycles between each one, and each trinemate bearing the same number. Unless one trinemate is the better breeder.

Seekerlets are allowed to watch the trineleader punish the trinemates, even if it is with whips or some other physical discipline. Once the Seekerlets are ten stellar cycles, they may also watch the trineleader dominating the trinemates, or the trine bonding in general, since interface is not considered something to hide in Seeker culture.

 **Trine Bonding:**

A Seeker is to stay virgin until they find a trinemate. They lose their virginity when they trine. Trines bond in public to claim each other and show that they are together. Bonding can be done anywhere at anytime, regardless of audience. Bonding is done to strengthen the relationship of the trine, since it puts them in a vulnerable position. Trust is key for a trine to last.

Seekers are very possessive of each other, and will often bond to simply claim each other, or dry hump a trinemate or kiss them when they feel like someone may want them.

If a trinemate had been raped, they are reclaimed by bonding them excessively in public. New trines also bond a lot in public to make it clear that they are a new trine and for everyone to stop courting them. Seekers will also reclaim/claim a trinemate by painting on their wings and/or aft that they are the "property" of their trinemates.

If a trinemate has cheated, then after they are punished they are reclaimed as well, only being allowed to interface with trinemates and any mates who have been accepted into the trine.

If a Seeker is raped or dominated by the Alpha before losing their virginity to their trinemates, then they are labeled as "Impure Virgins." They are considered virgins for their trining and are not frowned upon for having been forced into fragging prior to

trining, since they did not consent to it or had been punished.

Seekers who purposefully have intercourse prior to trining are frowned upon and often have a harder time finding a trine because of it. They are to stay "pure" and "clean" to their future trine, showing that they belong to each other since only trinemates can take virginities away.

 **Dominance, Submission, and Discipline:**

As mentioned above, Seekers fight for dominance. Alpha Seekers, who lead all Seekers, will sometimes kill for the position. Trines fight for it when trining, and the battles can be brutal with torn off limbs and badly battered frames. Signs of being dominant are flared wings, flicking wings, narrowed/glowing optics, and a growling engine.

Seekers show submission by lowering their wings, looking away, stepping back, and not fighting back.

Discipline can be physical punishment with whips, cables, switches, and other items for causing pain, or it could be getting locked away, forced to clean something, completing boring tasks, public humiliation, or losing privileges, such as items or not allowed to interface for a time.

Dominating is the most common punishment for Seekers. Dominating is when a trineleader or Alpha penetrates a misbehaving trinemate or Seeker and thrust painfully into them, almost as if they are raping them. The act is not to bring pleasure, but only pain and humiliation. It is usually done in public, and as the trineleader dominates, they often tear and bend the other Seeker's wings, bite their neck cables until they leak, and sometimes hit them.

Femmes dominate by either making a mech penetrate them and then thrust so it hurt the mech's spike, or they force as many digits as they can into a mech's or femme's valve and pump so it brought only pain.

Dominating usually lasts for half a breem to a breem (4-8 minutes). There are no overloads or pleasure during the act. After it, the Seeker is told they are forgiven and allowed to go on. Usually they are kissed, and bonded with at a later time if they are in too much pain. Many trineleaders do the bonding the immediate next morning.

Seekers show dominance when flying in their alt. mode by flying just above a trinemate and pressing their undercarriage down on the other Seeker. They pull away and then press down, repeating the pattern almost as if they were humping them. The trinemates shows submission by descending slightly and allowing the dominant Seeker to continue.

Seekers, being very prideful, are hurt most when humiliated. Public humiliation is used as often as dominating. Dominating, whipping, or punishing in front of a crowd happens more often then punishing a trinemate behind closed doors.

Sometimes if a trinemate is unfaithful, they are made to touch themselves in public, or the trine bonds in public and leaves the cheater out of it. If a Seeker cheated or did something else bad, the trine may bond in public, but the naughty Seeker is dominated while the other trinemate is loved on.

 **Alpha:**

Alpha Seekers can be mech or femme. They are the ones who lead all of the Seekers, the one who can dominate anyone, trineleader or not, and are the ones to ensure the Seekers are safe.

Alphas can take anyone as a mate, even if they are already trined, without question. They are the ones who can punish a trineleader if they are being cruel to their trinemates or disrespectful to them. Sometimes, they may take more than one breeding mate.

If a Seeker has a problem about their trineleader or their trineleader can't help them, they go to the Alpha. The Alpha will only get involved in other trine's business if a Seeker from that trine asks the Alpha to, or it affects the Alpha and/or other Seekers.

Alphas often kill for leadership, ending the life of the previous Alpha and taking their place. Alphas are the strongest and smartest of all Seekers, and are expected to breed the most sparklings, take on mates for the sole purpose of breeding, and handle all non-Seeker matters.

If an Alpha dies unexpectedly, a new one is claimed by Seekers fighting for the position. The fighting is furious, sometimes death being involved, until there is a victor. Those fighting are usually trineleaders from various trines.

 **Fighting and Body Language:**

When Seekers fight it's all about speed. they are not heavily armored, so when they attack, they fly as fast as they can at their enemy, transform, and grab an arm or some limb and tear it off. They may even land at speed on their target, crushing them.

Seekers will grab their prey, carry it up into the sky, and as a group, all grab the limbs and pull until they tear off. Then tearing the torso and helm off their victim.

They are ruthless in their attacks, moving too fast for their enemies to fight back. they fly and strike by shooting or tearing something off before flying off, circling around,a nd coming back.

When fighting in a large group, bombers fly over the battlefield first, dropping their load. Then, the other seekers come in just as the bombs finish exploding, landing and attacking those who didn't get hit by the bombs. Shooting, tearing off limbs, and flying away before the enemy has time to react.

Seekers mostly communicate via body language, their wings showing off their moods, the sounds their engines make, and optic-contact. Flared wings often a sign of aggression or to make the Seeker look larger to intimidate a threat. Flicking wings is done to show dominance, growing anger, aggression, warning about them potentially attacking, and annoyance. Perked wings show curiosity, eagerness, and excitement. Fluttering wings are a sign of happiness, joy, excitement, love, and contentment. Lowered wings are for when the Seeker is nervous, scared, being submissive, or trying to not seem threatening. Wings in a resting position are for when the Seeker is calm and comfortable. Folded back wings are for annoyance or to move them away from someone. Twitching wings are usually for when the Seeker is thinking, stimulated during interface, or slightly bothered. Growling engines are for when the Seeker is annoyed, pissed off, or warning about potentially attacking. Narrowed and glowing optics are another sign of aggression. Breaking optic-contact to look away is done when being submissive.

Seekers also lick each others faceplates as a sign of playful affection. They cuddle often, always needing physical contact for comfort, support, and love. Seekers are extremely physical, whether with bonding, snuggling, or even punishment. Everything involves some form of physical contact.

* * *

 **What Seekers Find as Attractive and "Turns Them On."**

Seekers are a warrior culture, so what they find as attractive and pleasing in a mate or trinemate is unique. Giving the helms of enemies to a lover, efficient combat skills, exceptional skill at killing, tearing off limbs and killing quickly are all smiled upon and make a watching Seeker feel turned on. Fast fliers, impressive aerial combat, ruthless in battle, and strength are favorable.

Seekers also like it when a trinemate has great "berth skills," is stubborn, brutal, has large wings, and no fear when killing or facing death. Killing many quickly and tearing them apart savagely is a bonus as well. Simply watching others be killed by another Seeker can put a Seeker in the mood for interface.

A trineleader is even more attractive when they keep their trinemates in strict formation, and the trinemates follow orders perfectly without flaw or hesitation. Even able to take numerous commands without the trineleader needing to speak, simply snapping digits or making certain gestures with their body. Trinemates who can take punishment with little to no screaming or crying are viewed as better and stronger Seekers than others. And trineleaders who have many creations are seen as stronger, better at interface, and superior.

* * *

 **Seeker Genetics and More Facts:**

Seeker coding is very dominant due to the fact that their coding has been altered purposely for many vorns. Seekers once mated in groups of three, with a dominant and two submissives. But, as Seekers were continuously killed and mistreated by other Cybertronians, the once humble fliers had to begin to change themselves in order to survive. They had to adapt.

It took vorns, but the Seekers modified their very CNA and coding to make their current frametype be natural. To be what they are now. They augmented their bodies to be faster, more aerial dynamic, stronger, tougher armor, and able to kill proficiently as well as quickly. The mating of three became trines for combat. To not only fight off outsiders, but to better safeguard their young. Many of the old traditions stayed the same, just with new bodies.

As their bodies changed so did their culture in certain ways. Seekers became a warrior culture, growing up to learn how to fight from a young age, and accepting violence and death as natural. It is so embedded into their coding and who they are that it is natural for a Seeker to even feel sexually attracted to someone based solely on that person's efficiency at killing. They are exceptional aerial warriors, able to rip off the limbs of their enemies fluently. Their optics are capable of seeing distant enemies far below them, they can reach speeds of over Mach 3, and reach top speed in astroseconds. Their maneuverability in the skies is unmatched, and so is their ferocity in battle. They are so brutal in combat that the Functionists labeled them as only being capable of being soldiers and deny them any other kind of work. Seekers were only allowed in the War Academy to hone their natural ability, and viewed as interface crazed murderers by most. Seekers are so hated that they can be often times murdered, raped, or beaten in public and no one, not even police, bother to help them.

Seeker coding is so dominant from the manipulation that it is rare for one to have anything but a Seeker even if they breed with a non-Seeker. Every Seeker has about a 94% chance of having another Seeker. A Seeker who is half Seeker and half non-Seeker still has a 70.5% chance of having a Seeker with another Seeker. If both Seeker creators are half Seeker, then the chance of having a Seeker is about 47%.

It is best that Seeker coding is so dominant for traditional trineleaders will kill sparklings who are anything but a Seekerlet.

With the structure of a Seeker's frame, their _very_ powerful jet engine, strong limbs, resilient, but light armor, and fast fuel processing, they can often times overheat. It is this reason that Seekers cannot interface for too long or have too many overloads in a short period of time. And why after flying for joors, Seekers will find themselves sitting down panting, cooling fans overworking, trying to get back to safe temperature levels.

Their engines are very efficient when it comes to fuel. They take in a fair amount of energon, but their fuel tank can quickly process it and get it into their engine so that they can return to combat. A Seeker running at 10% energy level can consume a single cube of energon, and be back into the battle at nearly 30% in just a couple of kliks.

Seekers are quite prone to claustrophobia. They grow up in towers, far from the ground or anywhere enclosed. Being inside for too long or locked away quickly gets to them. They can begin to have hallucinations in only an orbital cycle or too. Sometimes they may tear at their own plates, scream, or show other signs of insanity.

Seekers usually write their trine vows when adolescent, but not always. Some may wait until after they leave the trine.

With the resilience of Seekers' armor, they tend to have a higher pain tolerance, thus making them even superior for combat and being warriors. It is also frowned upon in their culture to be too sensitive regarding physical pain. Their stronger frames also allow them to handle great falls and landing on their peds at speed. Their leg hydraulics are designed to take the brutal landings, and crashes that they may have to endure.

Seekers are very physical, requiring the touch of their trinemates or creators often. They are always cuddling, hugging, and being near to each other. Interface is a regular activity to build these bonds, especially since it is very touch oriented. When a trinemate is injured, the other two trinemates will lie on either side of the injured one and try to cover as much of the injured Seeker's frame as they can. They will then keep everyone else away, guarding the hurt trinemate until they are better.

Seeker wings are very sensitive, allowing them to better navigate and respond to changes in the air around them. They also have much more going on in regards to their HUD for flying, battling, scanning for enemies, and other attributes for aerial combat.


	2. Getting My Trine

**Chapter Two**

The stellar cycles passed. I continued growing, going to school, and learning about the world. I didn't get as big as sire. I took after carrier in the size department. I was a short Seeker. Very thin too. Definitely not built for my strength. But I had my speed. I was fast. Faster than all my siblings, the guard, aunts, and uncles. I could move faster than them when fighting servo-to-servo, or flying in jet mode. My carrier was fast too, but I was even faster.

Because of this unusual speed, I was not an easy opponent to fight. Seekers always taught their young to fight. We had to. Everyone wanted us dead. It was simply part of our culture. We're a warrior culture and that meant everyone fought, everyone used swords, guns, and their fists. I was good with the gun, but I greatly enjoyed my swords. I even learned how to use bow and arrow, how to make a bomb, how to diffuse a bomb, hacking, and how to use a multitude of firearms. All of this I knew by the age of 12 stellar cycles. The rest of my growing up I was just honing the skills.

My friends at school were jealous of my fighting ability. They never were taught those things. I think it just added to my popularity.

I got asked out to all the school dances, and even won homecoming king. I was the top of all my classes and the teachers' favorite. I loved school. I loved learning, and I was smarter than all of my classmates. Not to sound arrogant or boastful, but it simply was true. I graduated with highest honors at my school and on the Dean's List. My graduation was awesome, and my creators were so proud of me.

At home, things never really changed. I got more aunts, more uncles, more siblings. My older siblings were kicked out when they became of age, and I saw much less of them after they left. I cried when Nacreous was kicked out, but he calls me still. And then Quickstrike was booted out. I was next in line for my carrier's creations to be made to leave. But, I still had some time.

20 stellar cycles old, I walked into my carrier's quarters, wings perking. My sire was there, pounding away in my carrier. It was time to spark her again which meant he was almost always in her. Carrier was moaning and whimpering from his thrusting, her digits clawing at the berthtop as she lied over it. She looked so tiny beneath him, and it did look like it had to hurt with that massive spike in her.

"You almost done?" I inquired, walking over. Once Seekerlets learned about interface at 10 stellar cycles the adults no longer hid it. What was the point? If they knew what it was and it's all natural, might as well let them see it and learn what to expect for when they were adults with trines and mates.

"What do you want?" Sire panted, never ceasing in his fierce humping, his chestplates open, already having overloaded a few times into my carrier.

"I want to talk to my carrier. Without you in her." I grunted, wings raising. I was painted now, having finished growing, and I chose to copy my carrier's color scheme. I changed a few locations of where I put certain colors, but it was basically identical to hers. Some of my siblings called me a "carrier's mechling" for it, but I didn't care. I am a carrier's mechling and damn proud of it. My carrier is my hero. So there.

"Give me a bit more." Sire said just before biting carrier's nape, eliciting a gasp from her. Biting meant two things in Seeker culture: That you are the dominant one, and that you owned the Seeker you were biting. Owning as in they were your mate and only you could interface with them. It was common for dominant Seekers to remind their subordinates who was in charge and who was always on top.

Carrier moaned and writhed beneath him, unable to do anything but submit to his will. He held her firmly beneath him, giving her no chance of escaping or gaining any control of the situation. I sat on the berth and took her servo. She held it tightly, but didn't look at me. She never could bare to look at her creations when she was being fragged by sire.

Finally, he overloaded, growling as he sparkbonded with her. She cried out, jerking at him filling her and his spark connecting with hers. He panted over her for a moment before kissing her on the lip plates. His servos felt over her frame, then he pulled out and closed his plates.

"I'll see you tonight at dinner, love." He said softly, pecking another kiss to her lip plates.

Carrier nodded, not looking at anyone. Sire patted her aft, then shoved me over playfully.

"Rude." I flicked my wings at him.

He smirked. "You're the rude one for walking in on us. I'll see you later, son. Love you both."

"Love you, sire." I then flicked him off with a rude Vosian servo gesture.

"Aft." He flicked me off right back, smiling as he left the room.

My wings perked as I turned to my carrier. She slowly sat up and closed her plates, quiet for a moment before speaking.

"Thank you, sweetie." She said barely louder than a whisper.

"Anytime, carrier." I leaned against her, engine purring, wanting to comfort her. She didn't like interfacing with sire. He forced himself onto her to breed with her. But, he was the Alpha and had every right to do so. Carrier actually preferred to interface with uncle Hypersonic. He was gentle with her and they got along very well. But there was another carrier much rather have been with.

"What do you need?" She perked her wings, looking at me.

"Do I need a reason to see my carrier?" I raised an optic ridge at her.

"Usually my son has a reason to come to my quarters and chase his sire away."

"Accusations." My wings flared, flicked, then lowered again. "I just want to be with my carrier, femme. Only got like four and a half stellar cycles with you before sire puts his ped in my aft and kicks me off the balcony."

"Don't remind me."

I got up and went into the washroom to retrieve a towel. I returned to my seat and handed it to carrier. She took it and began to clean herself, removing all of sire's… sparkling fluids from her lower body.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" I asked softly.

"He's eager as always." She replied, still wiping herself clean. "You know how he is when it's time to spark one of us."

"I know he's made you cry before."

"He just was a little too excited that time. He apologized." She vented a sigh. "There's nothing I can do about it, Starscream. He took me as his breeding mate. I have to just submit now."

"I know…" My wings lowered. "I know the rules. The Alpha, the trineleader… They get whatever they want. I just wish he would give you a break."

She was silent for a time before speaking. "Has he ever told you about… how he acquired me?"

I shook my helm. "No, ma'am. All he's ever said was that you don't appreciate the better life he's given you."

"Hmph." She looked up at me. "I was trined before I met your sire. He took me from my trinemates and made me his breeding mate. I haven't seen my trine since." She paused. "I love them still. I don't think I could ever love your sire. I've tried. I've tried to just accept things, move on, and start over with Skycutter… But I can't." She bit her lower lip plate, her optics filling with static. "I feel like a prisoner here. I shouldn't. He's the Alpha and he chose me to bear his creations. And he's given me some amazing sparklings. But I miss my trine. I miss my family. I miss just… Being out there."

I didn't know what to say. I just hugged her, my wings low. "I'm sorry, carrier." I managed to say softly after a moment.

"It's not your fault, sweetie." She looked up at me, a servo cupping my faceplates before she forced a small smile. "Some good has come out of it. If he didn't take me I wouldn't have had you."

"And I am pretty awesome." I smirked.

"You are." She kissed my cheekplates. "I love you so much, my little Star."

"That's bigger than you."

"You're not that much bigger."

"That's your fault."

She shoved at me, my wings fluttering. "Want to go for a flight?"

"Definitely."

Carrier tossed the towel aside and stood up. "I'm going to kick your aft."

"Would love to see you try to, femme." I stood up and followed her out the door.

"Hmm, you can't beat me."

"Sure I can."

"You can never beat your carrier. I have carrier powers." She smirked.

"Damn, then. I'll at least try."

She giggle, taking my servo and going onto a balcony with me. Carrier transformed and took off. I transformed and followed after her, soon breaking the sound barrier.

She did win. I still don't understand how she always managed to body slam me and pin me to the floor. Carrier powers are real. I will never be able to defeat my carrier in servo-to-servo combat…

* * *

My wings perked when I got a knock on my door, followed by a guard speaking. "Prince Starscream, you have a guest."

"Let them in." I ordered, sitting up on my berth.

The door slid open and Gearshift entered. He was taller than me now and looked more like a bulldozer than a truck. He had painted himself blue, brown, and green. I always told him that his color scheme was sickening, but he never listened.

"Hey, psychopath." He smiled, our servos clasping together in a mechly servoshake.

"Hey, grounder." I smiled, my wings fluttering a little.

He sat on the berth beside me. "So, killed anyone this orbital cycle?"

"Oh, tons. You know. Being a mass murderer and all. I also berthed fifty femmes and ate several sparklings."

"You damn Seeker."

"Shame on me."

He chuckled. We always made these kinds of jokes with each other since our friendship was frowned upon by our kind. We didn't care. We had been friends since sparklings and always would be.

"How are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a bit."

"Just hanging out here." I shrugged. "Doing the usual slag. Practicing my flying, fighting, and preparing for when I'm kicked out."

"Looking forward to that?"

"Hardly. I'll have to get a job… And sire wants me to attend the War Academy. He says every Seeker should since we have to be able to defend ourselves. Ugh, and then trining…."

"Don't you want to trine?" He raised an optical ridge at me.

I didn't answer immediately. "Yes and no…." I vented a sigh. "I do want to trine. I do want to be with someone. Like… I want to know that love and… But I'm scared." My wings lowered.

"Scared of commitment?"

I wasn't sure how much I should tell him. He was my best friend but… I wasn't ready to tell anyone about Brakelight. "I'm scared… about interface."

"Why? I mean, I haven't interfaced so yeah I'm a bit uncertain what that would feel like, but everyone eventually does. And if you're with your mate, like, they don't hurt you or anything. Not supposed to at least."

"I'm just scared about it." I said quickly, not looking at him. "And it's hard because I'm a Seeker. Interfacing is so important for my culture. We interface to bond, to show dominance, to claim each other, build trust, and of course to make sparklings. And I don't want sparklings."

"I hear you on that." He grunted.

"I know I won't ever be a trineleader. I'm too submissive."

"You are not submissive in the slightest. You've always been in charge of every group at school and you just are a natural leader, Starscream. Everyone sees that."

"To you, maybe. But not to Seekers. I'm submissive, I'll be a submissive to whoever will be my trineleader, and if they decide to spark me then I'm sparked."

"You don't need to have sparklings if you don't want them, Starscream." He stated firmly.

"It's not my choice. The trineleader is in charge." I vented a sigh. "That orbital cycle won't be for a while. I still have some time here to just slack off. And I need to take care of carrier. Sire's sparking her again."

"I don't need to know what your creators are up to in the berthroom."

"They mostly do it in the hallway, actually."

"Stop. Please."

I smirked. "Coward. You wouldn't last an orbital cycle as a Seeker. I have to see my sire's spike every orbital cycle as he plows all my aunts and uncles."

"As I've said before, I don't need to know."

"Want to go for a flight?"

"You won't drop me, right?"

"As long as you don't kick me I won't." I stood up, fluttered my wings to relax them, then walked to my balcony door.

Gearshift followed me out onto the balcony, still anxious about being so far from the ground. I sat on the banister, not scared at all of the height. Clouds were beneath us, and only a cold breeze greeted us up here.

"Come on, Gears." I fluttered my wings, patting the spot next to me.

"I'm not sitting there."

I rolled my optics, stood back on the balcony and turned my back to him. "You gonna hop on now or should I catch you as you fall?"

"I am not hopping on you in root mode. That just looks like…. I have a different relationship with you."

I snorted. Grounders were so weird with how they saw any kind of touch as being sexual. "You're fine."

"Just transform."

I turned around to face him, my servos still holding the banister. I kicked my peds up, then trotted over to him. Seeing the faces he made was the best. Grounders were so sensitive. I transformed before him and rested on my landing gear. He finally hopped on, planting his heels into my sides and grasping my air vents. I giggled, it always tickling to feel him hold me there. He hated it when I laughed, feeling more awkward about it. Grounders.

I took off, slowly, then built speed as I ascended. He clung to me before I evened out and circled above the city, giving him the experience most grounders will never have. Once the ride was gentle, he sat up, a servo reaching out to touch the clouds around us. I just relaxed, enjoying this calming flight with my best friend.

"So," He said slowly, obviously not looking forward to telling me what was on his processor. "I'm going to an academy."

"Oh?" My wings perked a little, then quickly went back into position to keep from messing up my flight.

"And it's in Petrex…"

I didn't speak immediately, suddenly feeling very empty. "Y-you're leaving Vos?" I managed to asked.

"Starscream…. It won't be forever. I just…. It was the best academy for my career. There's nothing here in Vos for me. We can still talk online and with communicators. It's not like I'll be unreachable."

"You just won't be around…"

"Starscream, please…" He vented a sigh. "I need to do this for me. Academy is good. You're going to the War Academy."

"That's in Vos."

"Staying in the same city all your life isn't good. You sometimes needs to get out there. This isn't the end of our friendship, Stars."

"When do you leave?"

"In three decacycles."

I just went silent.

The rest of the flight was silence from me and Gearshift trying to explain the bright side of the situation. I didn't talk until we returned to the palace, and that was very little. I did cry that night. I was losing my only friend, and here I was… stuck in Vos waiting for the time when I will be in my carrier's position.

* * *

My 25th emergence cycle celebration was fun. There was cake, my full siblings were all there, and sire actually didn't stick his spike in anyone in order to spend the orbital cycle with me. It was my last orbital cycle with my family like this. Sire never kicked us out on our emergence cycle. He did it the next day, which wasn't completely uncommon with Seekers.

My carrier cried all orbital cycle, not wanting another one of hers to be thrown out of the palace. But we couldn't all stay. I managed not to cry around her, but I did that night, terrified of what would happen to me once I was on my own.

That night I packed all of my belongings into my bags and subspaced them. I barely got any recharge. I spent the night with my carrier and my younger siblings. We mostly just talked about simple things. Happy things. Anything.

The sun rising felt like a death sentence. I walked onto the balcony, my carrier staying close to me. I knew sire was on his way to chase me away, but I would stay with my carrier as long as I could.

"Be careful out there." She said, barely able to hold back her coolant tears. "If you need anything let us know. We're still your creators and will always be there for you."

"I will, carrier." I forced a smile for her as she cupped my faceplates.

"You have all your things? And some Shanix?"

"Yes, carrier. And I have the code for the apartment. And everything is set up for the War Academy. I even have some job interviews."

She faintly smiled at me. "You're always on top of things." Her smile faded. "Please, be safe, Starscream."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I love you, my son."

"Love you too, carrier."

She kissed my cheekplates just as sire walked onto the balcony, looking more intimidating than ever. His wings flared, optics narrowed, and looking like he was about to kick aft. My wings flared back at him, engine growling. I wasn't going to go down so easily. He just smirked, wings fluttering a little. I let my carrier go and hugged him.

"Come here, shortstuff." He hugged me tightly. I was positive I was going to break from that hug. "All grown up, now, aren't you?"

"Ugh, let me cycle air, sire!" I squirmed.

He chuckled. "Be safe out there, son. Trust no one. If you ever need us call or stop by. Understand?"

"Sir, yes, sir." I nodded. "I think I'll be good for now."

"Let me know how those interviews go and if you need your old mech to beat up anyone at the academy for you."

"Definitely. And if I'm courted by afts I'll have you go after them too."

"I'll tear them apart."

I smiled. "I know you will, sire." I hugged him again. "Love you, dumbaft."

He hugged me back. "Love you too, smartaft." He just held me for a moment, optics offline, holding me close. Then he let me go. "Hug your carrier."

I did just that, hugging her close as she held me, her optics filling with coolant.

"Call me every orbital cycle. I mean it." She said sternly.

"I will. I promise."

She kissed me on the cheekplates before releasing me, then stepped back.

"Now then," Sire suddenly grabbed my neck and lifted me off the ground as I grasped his arm. "Get the hell off my balcony." He growled before he flicked his wings, flaring them, his optics narrowed, and engine growling.

I squeaked like the femmling I was just before he threw me off the balcony. Damn, my sire was scary…

I plummeted for a ways before transforming and flying off, going towards my new home. I was on the verge of crying, scared about this big step in my life, but I just reminded myself that I wasn't alone still. Just because I was no longer living with my creators didn't mean I no longer could see them or have them help me. They were still my creators and they had my back a hundred percent. And I would call my carrier every night and talk to her, and visit whenever I could. And I did do just that.

I arrived at the tower where my apartment was located. Since sire had so many creations, he couldn't help them individually like other trines do. So, he bought an entire tower that had apartments for over two hundred Seekers to live in. And they were fairly large apartments. The deal was that once we were kicked out we would move into one of these apartments and pay rent to sire. That way, we got use to handling rent and bills, but it was paid to someone who wouldn't kick us out if we were late on a payment or didn't understand something. Before we were kicked out we were given lessons on finances, getting a job, and how to adult (I hate adulting!). And if we ever needed the help, sire and our carriers were just in the palace next to us.

We would stay living in the apartments until we trined and moved to another place, or just managed to get a good enough job to get our own place. Some stayed in these apartments for just a coupe of stellar cycles, some quite a few. However long they needed to get a good start on life and not be homeless. Some of my siblings did have one trinemate, but stayed because they still were not financially stable enough to move out. It was hard on Seekers since grounders hated us, so finding a job was not easy. And given how hard we worked in the War Academy, when attending it we could only afford part-time jobs. Which, made it hard to afford much.

Sire provided the energon to help us save some Shanix, but if we wanted goodies, sticks, engex, or whatever, that was on us. He provided some furniture, but if we wanted anything else we had to buy it ourselves. And if we acquired pets, that was our full responsibility as well.

Basically, sire just made sure we weren't homeless and didn't starve. And helped us when we asked. But we were on our own otherwise. It was good parenting, especially when he had so many offspring. He really was a good sire to his creations.

I landed on the balcony to my apartment as I transformed. I put in my code and entered. It was a two berthroom apartment with a living room, energon storage room, two washrooms, walk in closets in the berthrooms, and had an extra storage room. It already had the berths, a couch, a couple of vidscreens, storage unit, shelves, dishes, and a small cleaning drone.

I emptied my subspace in one of the berthrooms and began to unpack. I stayed up late until all of my things were organized on shelves, in drawers, and the closet, then watched some TV. I had a hard time recharging that night, but just reminded myself that my siblings were in the apartments all around me and I could always knock on their doors if I needed someone right away.

* * *

I searched for a job for some time before finally getting one on the docks. Not ships on water docks. The spaceport. I assisted in helping with cargo. In other words I carried heavy things off the ship and got it sorted onto land vehicles for transportation. Used a fork lift sometimes too. It didn't pay much, but it was better than nothing. And as a first job ever it wasn't bad. I just worked five orbital cycles out of every orn and the other eight orbital cycles I was either at the War Academy or at my apartment.

The War Academy was quite an experience. I was there for twelve stellar cycles. It was what you expect from any military school. We learned how to fight, how to use weapons, fly ships, use artillery, how to obey orders, how to give orders, be leaders, stand at attention, and to be the perfect soldiers.

I didn't like it at first, but I'm glad I went. I definitely needed some form of structure in my life at that time, and I did gain wonderful experience and lessons from that place. They would come in handy in the future. I was even promoted and in the officer program because I did so well.

Well, the War Academy is popular with Seekers not just because we're a warrior culture and tend to live our lives military based, but it's also a great place to meet other Seekers and court. And there was a lot of that.

I had been courted since the first stellar cycle there. I rejected them all. I was more popular because I was a prince. Who didn't want to berth a creation of the Alpha? But it wasn't until my eighth stellar cycle in the War Academy that two particular Seekers started to court me. And I made the mistake of not telling them to frag off early on.

I was in one of my classrooms sitting at my desk like usual. I was at the top of all my classes, and always worked hard. I loved doing school. Well, this orbital cycle I was preparing for taking notes when a Seeker sat beside me. I tended to hang out with the grounders just because I didn't want to be courted in class, but this slagger had a unique ability to get close to anyone.

"Stop!" I snapped, pulling my datapad closer to me when that Seeker tried to snatch it.

He giggled, wings fluttering. Then he snuggled against me. I flared my wings, engine growling before shoving him away. He just purred his engine, trying to get close again. I glared at him, flicking my wings.

Suddenly, he disappeared in a flash of purple light. My wings perked, then I rolled my optics. I had seen him do this quite a few times. I squeaked when he was suddenly hugging me from behind and grabbing at my codpiece.

I punched him in the faceplates, us falling to the ground as I struggled to get free. He didn't let go. I elbowed him, and kicked, and even hit him with my chair, but he refused to release me.

"That's enough!" Our superior barked.

The Seeker teleported away instantly, leaving me to awkwardly stand back up. I returned to my seat, wings flaring. The outlier was sitting on the other side of the room now, snuggling against a massive, blue Seeker. They were trinemates. I had seen them interfacing before in the hallway. I still wasn't sure on their designations, but I was familiar with them.

They were hot.

* * *

I was courted by a lot of Seekers, and I rejected all of them. But that damn black and violet Seeker… I just couldn't tell him "no." I didn't make it easy, of course not. I made it hard for him. He would give me crystal flowers, energon goodies, cake, engex, colorful minerals, and other small gifts. He even made things for me, like crude drawings. Was it silly? Of course. But no one ever drew me with them when they courted me. I stupidly thought it was adorable. _He_ was adorable.

That Seeker had been courting me for over a stellar cycle before his trinemate finally got in on it. Why it took him so long, I'm not sure. But I knew it wasn't because he didn't want me. Oh, he wanted me. He lusted for me. He _had_ to have me. I just didn't realize how badly he craved to have me beneath him. But I would find out soon enough.

I sat in the cafeteria refueling as I read from a datapad. As usual, the black Seeker teleported over and began to grope me and hand me energon goodies. I had started to accept the goodies, a sign that I was interested, but I still did not accept the touches. My wings flared and flicked as my engine growled, warning him to back off. He did so after a moment, then sat across from me.

His optics were so bright. Not aggressive bright, just happy. He had the largest, lopsided smile I had ever seen on someone, and he just… bounced. Endless energy in him. His wings were constantly fluttering, and he looked like he was about to explode from having so much pint up energy.

I faintly smiled, not looking at him. He was really cute. His face, how he acted, just… Maybe. Maybe I wanted him. He was very different from the other Seekers who courted me.

I noticed a shadow fall over me from behind. My wings lowered a little, pretty sure I knew who was behind me. I slowly looked back, seeing a - ahem - very nice codpiece before me. My optics slowly trailed upward until I finally saw the - fragging sexy - faceplates of the owner. Damn. Hot.

The large, blue Seeker looked down at me. He was almost as large as my sire, but a lot better looking. His red optics eyed me, I could feel them groping my frame, taking in every curve of my body.

He reached out and stroked my wings, which I instinctively flicked away. His servos then snaked down my frame, feeling me. They tightened around my waist, and I felt him pulling me back until I was against him. I heard his cooling fans turning on, felt the heat emanating from his chassis. He was turned on. He wanted me now. It was such a nice compliment.

I jabbed my elbow against him, activated my thruster heels, and managed to wriggle out of his hold. I hovered just above, watching him. He smirked, winked at me, then turned and silently walked away. His trinemate followed him and soon they were gone. I waited until they were out of sight to land, and that's when I noticed I had enough transfluid in my codpiece that you could drown a sparkling in…

Primus, they were hot.

* * *

I kept playing hard to get. It wasn't until my final stellar cycle in the War Academy that things took a drastic change. I had been accepting things from them, but not a whole lot. I let them touch my wings, but the rest of my frame was off limits. I had finally learned their designations and had talked a little with them. Not a lot. Mostly just about homework. Skywarp, the black one, needed a lot of help with that so would come to me. I didn't mind helping him at all. It was kind of fun and kept him from bothering me with groping. Thundercracker, his trineleader, was very quiet and when he talked…. Mmm! That vocalizer was the sexiest thing my audio receptors had ever picked up on. If interface could be a sound, it was his vocalizer.

I was on my way to my locker one orbital cycle after class when Skywarp suddenly materialized beside me.

"Yoink!" He exclaimed as he snatched my datapad and took off.

"Hey! Skywarp!" I shouted before giving chase. "Give that back!"

Skywarp only giggled as he ran down the hallways, slipping and sliding when he turned sharp corners, and bolted for the nearest exit. He rushed through the door, subspaced my datapad, transformed, and took off. I transformed and went after him, my engine soon screaming as I broke the sound barrier.

He broke it as well, and soon we were flying at over Mach 3. He dived and spiraled, flying between towers, under bridges, and almost crashing into the ground. I stayed right behind him, never losing sight of my prey. I was catching up. I was faster, but it wasn't easy for me. He was fast, too. Faster than any other Seeker minus my carrier. No one could out do me in speed.

He kept flying, we soon were over other cities, from Kaon, Slaughter City, Tarn, and the smaller states around. We returned to Vos and he kept circling above the academy, just playing at this point.

He was fast. And he could keep up with me in the sky. No one else could do that. That meant his trinemate was just as good. And Skywarp was funny, cute, and really sweet. I did like him. His trineleader was strong, firm, brave, dominant, and just so damn handsome.

Maybe I had finally found my trine?

I suddenly cut my engine and allowed myself to plummet, spiraling out of control. Skywarp saw and raced towards me, ready to help. When he was close enough I activated my thrusters and evened myself out. Quickly, I pressed my undercarriage against his, flying beneath him. His wings wiggled before he began to spiral, forcing me to do so with him. He pushed me upwards, making me ascend, never ceasing in the aileron rolling. My spark was racing. I was dancing with another Seeker. I had initiated the trining process with someone. What if this was a mistake? What if I shouldn't trine them?

Skywarp kept making me ascend, taking control over me. He must had called his trineleader for Thundercracker suddenly came racing over in jet mode. He forced his way in, taking control, our wingtips now touching, making us form a triangle between us. We kept ascending, never ending our spiraling. Thundercracker made us descend, spiraling madly, then even around, still spinning.

Thundercracker suddenly stopped us, breaking away and transforming. Skywarp and I also transformed, hovering on our thruster peds. I was suddenly scared. Was this actually happening? Did I actually just do that? What if I made a mistake?

Thundercracker flew over to me, his strong servos holding me close to him. I didn't fight him. Then, he kissed me on the lip plates. My optics widened some, not really expecting that. He was so gentle about it. It felt… Good. I liked it. He kept kissing me, his servos groping my frame, his cooling fans kicking on, and his frame getting warmer.

I pulled my helm away from him, our optics locking onto each other. "I… Not out in the open." I said softly, nervously.

He faintly smirked. "First time. That's okay. Skywarp teleport us to our room."

"Roger!" He saluted before touching both of us and teleporting us to a large berthroom.

I felt sick. Suddenly going from one location to another like that… But the nausea quickly left when I remembered what was about to happen.

Thundercracker trailed gentle kisses down my neck cables, those large, ebony servos squeezing my chestplates over my cooling fans, then lowering to pleasure my waist and hips. Skywarp was suddenly behind me, his servos also exploring my body, sending electrical currents into my seams. I gasped, never having felt this kind of pleasure before. It felt nice. I liked it.

I was trembling. Nervous about trining, and also scared about the interface. I had only ever known the pain that Brakelight had inflicted upon me. What if this hurt like that? What if they weren't the right trine for me? What if I messed up in some way?

"Shh, it's okay." Thundercracker said soothingly. "No reason to be scared."

"I-I just… I-I don't want it to hurt." I stuttered. swallowing hard.

"It won't. I'll be very gentle."

I nodded, but still couldn't stop the trembling. They kept pleasuring my body, kissing me, stroking my wings, and rubbing over my codpiece. Thundercracker guided me to the berth and helped me lie down on it. He got over me, setting me in missionary position. He leaned in close to me, kissing my lip plates, then down my neck. His codpiece folded away and his spike shot out. It. Was. HUGE.

"Open." He whispered.

I hesitated, then removed my own codpiece. He rubbed over my valve, making sure I was lubricated enough. His wings perked, then he grabbed my thighs, better positioned me, and took his spike in a servo. Slowly, so slow and gentle, he eased into me. I gasped, wiggling beneath him as my servos clawed at the berth. He paused at halfway in, gave me a moment to adjust, then pushed the rest of the way in.

I just was shaking so hard at this point. He leaned over me, his servos resting on the berthtop on either side of my helm. He kissed me on the lip plates, I could feel his spike vibrating inside of me, so turned on. The heat emanating from his thick chassis, his wings flaring out, engine rumbling in anticipation. He was beyond eager.

"Ready?" He asked quietly.

I bit my lower lip plate. "I-I think so… I don't know." I swallowed, seeing Brakelight again. Coolant started to pool in my optics, terrified. I wanted to get away. Why did he have to do that to me?!

"Shhh," He kissed me again. "It can be scary the first time. It's okay. I'm going to be slow and gentle. Just let me know if it hurts or you need me to stop." He kissed me again, then gave me a gentle thrust. I gasped, optics widening. My wings perked, not expecting it to feel… Kinda nice. He lovingly smiled above me, then gave me another, and another, and another.

I kept scooting back from each thrust until my helm met the headboard of the berth and my escape was blocked. I clawed at the berthtop, gasping loudly from each thrust. He started to go harder and faster, and soon I was loudly moaning. Like, really loud. Like… The neighbors heard me loud. My servos soon found his arms and I held them firmly, feeling him inside of me, moving back and forth, in and out. It felt… Good. I was beginning to like it. He noticed and went even harder and faster.

He kissed me as he took me, his wings fluttering, engine purring. I soon found myself hugging him, my optics offline, smiling as he continued. Oh, it was heavenly. I loved it! And we hadn't even overloaded yet.

I came first, not being use to interface like this. I cried when I climaxed, feeling the surge of energy rushing through my systems and into him. I panted, cycling air heavily. He chuckled, then continued with his thrusting. Those loving lip plates just kept kissing me, then he licked my faceplates. I giggled, starting to understand why so many liked to interface.

He eventually overloaded into me, growling through it as his fluids filled me. It was explosive. I jumped some when I felt all of that shooting inside of me, and to feel that tickling surge of his excess energy seeping into my frame.

He panted above me for a few astrosecond before giving me another kiss and pulling out. I squeaked at that feeling, eliciting a laugh from the both of them.

"Virgin no more, eh?" Skywarp giggled, hopping onto the berth once Thundercracker had dismounted.

I didn't say anything, just bit my lower lip plate.

Skywarp suddenly had my lip plates encased by his, kissing me harshly. My optics widened when he forced his glossa into my mouth. I don't think I was ready for that, but it happened. And as he was getting busy with my mouth, his spike slid into my still wet valve. I jumped and squirmed, but he just kept kissing me.

"Love you." He whispered before beginning to thrust.

"Oh, Primus!" I gasped, writhing beneath him. He just chuckled and kept going. I offlined my optics, moaning loudly from each thrust. He was smaller than Thundercracker, and it felt wonderful in its own way. Thundercracker expanded me out and pushed all my sensory nodes, but Skywarp could slide in and out quicker and rub against them just right. They were both amazing. "Ohhh…. Ah…. I love this… Hah…."

Skywarp laughed. "I love this too!" He licked my faceplates, getting so excited about being in me. I could tell he was barely holding himself back from going all at me. I really turned on these two.

Again, I climaxed first, crying out from it. He followed a bit afterwards, fluttering his wings madly as he growled. I panted, just watching him, not sure what to say now that they both had taken me as their own.

Skywarp nuzzled olfactory sensors with me, his engine purring, wings fluttering. He gave me the cutest smile ever and my spark melted. "I am your brother, your friend. I will be faithful, kind, courageous, strong, and caring. I will carry you when you are weak, defend you from the terrors of this world, and fight for you until my spark fades. I will guide you through the darkness, make you laugh when you are sad, and fly beside you until the sun fades away. I am forever yours, your accomplice, your lover, your teacher, your student. To grow with you, care for you, cheer for you, and cry with you. Always yours, until my spark is no more. This I swear to you my new part. My completed spark. Together we are, forever unseparated, united through hell, we are one. Trine till the bitter end. This I swear to you, my trinemate, my brother, my friend. My life, my spark, we are one, till we are none." He said softly, lovingly, perfectly.

I died. That was so beautiful that coolant started to fill my optics. I never thought I would hear something so loving and… amazing as that.

He pulled out of me and helped me to sit up. I closed my plates just before Thundercracker kissed me on the lip plates, lifting my chin up so I looked at him.

"I swear to you, upon this cycle, that I will always be faithful, respectful, patient, understanding, kind, caring, and above all else yours. To be your protector, your best friend, your brother, your sword and your shield. To never falter, to never flee, to face the hard times by your side. To fight for you, carry you when you fall, kill if need be. To be the trinemate you deserve, and always try my best to be worthy of your love. To never, ever let you be alone and scared. To fly with you though hell, and never leave your side even as the world burns around us. It will protect you, care for you, and never lead you astray. I will cry with you, laugh with you, and always be yours. I am your pillar of strength, your light in the darkness, your guiding servo when you are lost. I will listen to all your troubles, and do my best to help you through them. I will be your lover, your friend, your partner in all things. This I swear to you, my new part. My completed spark. Together we are, forever unseparated, united through hell, we are one. Trine till the bitter end. This I swear to you, my trinemate, my brother, my friend. My life, my spark, we are one, till we are none." He said firmly, but lovingly.

I had to wipe at the coolant leaking down my cheekplates. I couldn't believe this was happening. It took me a moment to calm myself and remember the vow I had written some time ago.

"Y-you are mine, and I am yours. I will be true to you and only you. To love you, to cherish you, to be faithful, honorable, courageous, generous, kind, loving, understanding, and humble. To be yours through the hard times, as well as the easy. To pick you up when you are hurt, to support you when you are struggling, to lead you through the darkness, to help you in your direst joor. To be your foundation of hope, love, and peace. To never surrender when you need me to fight by your side against any and all enemies. To defend you even when there is no hope. To never flee, to never cower, to never hide. To be everything you ever needed in a friend, a lover, a brother. To be yours and only yours. To fly by your side until no more, and to never betray your trust. To never falter. This I swear to you, my new part. My completed spark. Together we are, forever unseparated, united through hell, we are one. Trine till the bitter end. This I swear to you, my trinemate, my brother, my friend. My life, my spark, we are one, till we are none."

They both kissed me at once, and I awkwardly kissed back. My wings lowered, knowing what the next and final part of the trining process was.

Thundercracker suddenly grabbed me and slammed me down to the floor. I didn't fight him. I knew I could never be trineleader and there was no way I could defeat him. I lowered my wings, looked away, and fully submitted to him. I was scared again, not wanting the dominating.

"Open." He growled, his wings flaring.

I had no choice. He would dominate me and that would be the end. I removed my codpiece, not daring to move as he entered me once more from behind. His powerful arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me firmly against his broad frame. Then, he began to thrust hard and fast, making sure it hurt. And it certainly did.

I buried my faceplates into my arms and screamed. My servos clawed at the floor, coolant pouring from my optics. This… hurt more than what Brakelight did to me.

He bit my nape hard, making me yelp and cry louder. His engine growled, wings flicking as he just kept dominating me, making sure I knew exactly who owned this trine. He was my trineleader for now on. And everything he said went. I would never have a choice if he said I didn't.

It wasn't a long dominating, and he soon finished with me. I quickly jumped away from him once he was out of me and sat against the wall crying. I didn't get a moment's respite for Skywarp was suddenly upon me. I fought him some, but I knew I wouldn't be able to defeat him either. He had me pinned to the floor in a short scuffle and soon was dominating me as well. I just submitted and cried. His dominating didn't hurt as much as Thundercracker's but it was still very painful. He bit much harder, though, and that had me bawling my optics out.

Once he finished with me, I curled in the corner, crying and wiping at my optics. Thundercracker sat on the floor next to me and pulled me into a loving hug. I was his. And as my trineleader that meant he would be my protector, my guardian. It was his job to take care of me and ensure I was fueled, safe, and happy. I would never have to worry about my safety or if I would go hungry ever again.

I hesitated before hugging him back. The first of many hugs. Skywarp was behind me, hugging me as well. Thundercracker held us close, his trine finally completed.

"I love both of you." He said softly.

I believed it. And I knew he would always.

* * *

"Oh my gosh, carrier, I need to talk to you!" I said quickly as I called her on my commlink.

::What's up, sweetspark? Is everything alright?::

I squealed like a femmling from my excitement. "I trined! I just trined a half trine! I-I'm in a full trine!"

::What?! Really?! EEEEEE!::

"Eeeeeeee! I know!" I squealed with her, jumping on my thruster heels as I stood in my berthroom. "A-and their vows to me were _amazing_ , carrier. I cried."

::Aw, sweetie…::

"I was so scared about it and… They were so gentle and patient with me. I was shaking so hard about the bonding but… They were good. I like them a lot. I-I think I chose the right ones." I smiled broadly, so sure of myself now.

::I know you did, Starscream. You have good judgment of people. What are their designations?::

"Thundercracker and Skywarp. The two I keep telling you about." I lied on my berth, still smiling like an idiot madly in love.

::The outlier?::

"Yes, that one." My wings fluttered. "I'm so happy, carrier. I just…. I feel really amazing right now."

::I'm glad, Starscream. I am so happy for you. You want me to tell your sire or do you want to tell him?::

"You can tell him. I know he's busy."

::Are you moving in with them?::

"Not right away. We're about to graduate so we figured I'll move in right after that. They have an apartment not far from the academy. It's a bigger place than what I have now."

::I'm so happy for you, sweetie. I hope they only make you happy and feel loved.::

I smiled. "I don't doubt they will, carrier. I think I chose the perfect trinemates."

* * *

I soon graduated from the War Academy at the top of my class with highest honors. My carrier was able to come and see my ceremony, but sire had work. Either that or was fragging his breeding mates. Didn't matter, I had carrier and my full siblings there. I got to meet Thundercracker's family, which they were traditional as well. Thundercracker was one of sixteen mechs. Not sure to pity or be jealous of him for not having any sisters. Skywarp's family never showed and he was quiet when my carrier and Thundercracker's family were around. My carrier got along with my trinemates and thought they were very respectful and polite. So bonus there.

After the graduation, the talking, and partying, my trinemates helped me move all of my stuff into their apartment. Then we had our own party.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, hah, oh, Primus, ah!" I moaned, writhing beneath my trineleader as he pounded into me. All I felt was his spike in me, his lip plates kissing me, and those strong servos holding me firmly in place.

"Are you always going to be this loud?" He smirked at me.

"Ah, maybe." I panted, holding his arms.

"I like it." Skywarp fluttered his wings, sitting on the berth waiting for his turn.

"I do, too." Thundercracker kissed me, his engine purring.

I sheepishly smiled, looking away. They were so talkative during interface, and I just made all these weird sounds. At least it made a few good laughs.

Thundercracker overloaded and filled me with his transfluid. I jumped, still not use to that amazing feeling. I had overloaded twice before he finally came. He kissed me on the lip plates before pulling out and turning to Skywarp. Skywarp immediately lied on his back and folded away his codpiece. Thundercracker was soon inside of him and humping.

I sat up, watching them. This seemed like how life was going to be like for now on. Our trineleader pleasing his subordinates every night. I honestly didn't see that as a bad way of living. And I didn't care if I didn't spike anyone. He fragged us and we just enjoyed the ride.

I grinned, looking forward to an easy life like that. Thundercracker would work and all I ever have to do was be on his berth by the time he got home. The rest of the time was my time. The trined life was going to be the best life. And I was thrilled for it. Just me, my trinemates, and only love and laughter.

I would never be so wrong in my life.

* * *

 **Why am I writing robot pron when I have homework to do? Ugh... Well, I will not post the next chapter for a bit. Got two more weeks left for this semester and Thanksgiving (Ungrateful murder day) break is about over. So, back to doing homework! Got things to draw and finish animating my videogame character. Need to give him an epic death animation!**

 **Anyway! This was a quick chapter. Starscream is a momma's boy. You know he is. I have all the Elite Trine being momma's boys... They all are. You know it.**

 **Moonlight was stolen from her trine to be a breeding mate. This is not uncommon for the Alpha to do. They can take whoever they want to and it is a honor to bear their creations.**

 **Skywarp taking Star's datapad and making him chase him is a reference to my other fics where the same even occurred. I didn't go into much detail about the courting and Star's school because it's all the same boring stuff that happened every day so a quick explanation is all that is needed. No need to bore anyone!**

 **So, now since the first two chapters are done, they set up the story. NOW the real story begins. There is going to be a LOT of domestic abuse and mental abuse. Even rape. This is going to get very real and stressful for now on. And the worst part is the things that will be shown are things that actually happen to many women by sexist men you think women, primarily their wives, are property they can do whatever they want to. Of course, not all men are like this, but this story is about bringing awareness to the very real situations of abusive men using their wives, how their victims are silenced and made to believe this is just what's supposed to happen, and the children who are victims of these horrible relationships. This is going to be a lot of mental mind games that for many of you may know to say "no" to such things, but for many more they don't realize it or grew up being taught that this was life so accept it when it happens to you.**

 **Starscream has grown up seeing how his carrier, aunts, and uncles are treated and taught that that is normal. That that simply is how things are meant to be. So, he has no idea he has a voice. That he can say "no." That he is not property to his trineleader to be beaten, raped, and turned into a sparkling factory. Right now, he things that's just how things are and he has no choice.**

 **There are many things we have been taught to see as "normal" when it's abuse and unnecessary. From eating animals which is cruel and harms us, to hitting children, to thinking you "have" to have children, to thinking being gay is wrong. So many lies are brainwashed into us to believe by society and parents who don't know better. And when someone learns the truth and stands up against the evil, the lies, the corruption, they are seen as the "enemies," the "terrorists," the ones to be attacked.**

 **Starscream will see the lies and reality of the traditional way of living and stand against it. And it will not be taken lightly.**

 **So, that's why right now Starscream is very weak, quiet, and sensitive. He has not found his voice yet. He has been made to be submissive and obey, and hide who he really is because "that's just not how things are done."**


	3. Punishment Begins

**Chapter 3**

I quit my job at the spaceport and instead stayed home in my new apartment. Thundercracker had a well paying job as a security manager for a government building. He basically made sure all the security guards were doing their job, made their schedules, and handled security for special events. Seekers usually got security jobs because we're warriors. No one dares to steal something or murder anyone when there's a Seeker around. Thundercracker had been working at this job for a few stellar cycles so had a couple of promotions. It wasn't the highest paying job, but it allowed us to live in a nice apartment, buy all our needs, and have extra for spending on the trine.

It was a simple life I lived. Thundercracker would online early in the morning and go to work. While he was away I cleaned the apartment, prepared his energon for the next orbital cycle, and if need be Skywarp and I would go and buy necessities. Thundercracker gave us an allowance and a budget for buying energon and other necessities. I never spent my allowance. I kept it locked away, saving it in case I ever needed it for an emergency or to buy something special. Thundercracker had a savings account for future sparklings. But, he never allowed us to look at his bank account. That was his Shanix, not ours.

When Thundercracker got home he would greet us when we came running over, kiss us, we would talk, relax some, and when it was time to go to recharge he had his way with us. I didn't mind. I liked the interface. He always took me first and got more overloads into me than he did Skywarp. Skywarp was always second. Once Thundercracker had satiated himself with us, he would lie down with us cuddling against him, and we would go to recharge together. In the morning, he left, and Skywarp and I would stay in berth to recharge for a bit longer. When we finally decided to online we interfaced each other. Skywarp usually spiked me. I sometimes spiked him, but I didn't mind always having my valve used and on bottom. I just enjoyed the love.

And once we finished our morning interface, I cleaned the berth and started my orbital cycle.

When I was bored, I read, watched TV, sometimes flew with Skywarp, and did research online. I loved learning. I _had_ to learn everything. And science… That was my passion. Every study I could find, every journal, anything, I read. I watched documentaries on nature, on organics, on the world around us. I got datapads on every kind of science and topic and drowned myself in their infinite knowledge.

I loved it. I wanted to be a scientist. I wanted to be doing these studies, to be writing these journals, to be exploring the unknown galaxy, to be at the forefront of discovery and breakthroughs. I wanted to be all that, but… I was a Seeker. And Seekers are not allowed to be scientists. We're warriors. And I had to have the permission of my trineleader before I could make a decision for my life.

I didn't ask because I knew the answer would be no.

"I'm home!"

I perked my wings, and leaped off the couch. I ran into those arms of my trineleader, feeling him hug me tightly as he kissed me. Skywarp was there instantly as well, the two of us smaller mechs being embraced by our large mech.

"Love you, two." Thundercracker said after kissing each of us. "How was your orbital cycle?"

"Same ol'." I snuggled against him, so happy he was finally home. "Cleaned everything. Packed your lunch for tomorrow. Nothing new."

"And you?" He turned to Skywarp.

"I watched TV and cheered Star on." He giggled, wings fluttering as he hugged Thundercracker.

"Course you did." He kissed us both again. He then smirked. "When I get to my berthroom I better find two femmes on it with their codpieces off and afts in the air."

I giggled. "Yes, sir." I released him and trotted to the berthroom, Skywarp behind me.

We raced onto the berth and quickly folded away our codpieces. I got on all fours, making sure my aft was higher than my helm. Skywarp did the same, but had his elbows on the berthtop. Our wings perked when he heard our trineleader enter the room. I bit my lower lip plate when I felt his large servo stroke my aft, then give it a gentle squeeze. A small gasp escaped my lip plates when he gave it a firm smack, but nothing too painful. Those servos continued feeling me over, touching my hips, waist, chestplates, and wings. I offlined my optics and let it happen. I was his.

He pulled my lower half off the berth and pressed me against it. I kept my servos planted on the berthtop, watching Skywarp who was now sitting, looking a bit upset. I couldn't think much about his expression for Thundercracker was suddenly inside of me. I gasped, his powerful arms wrapped around my waist and held me firmly in place against his front. Then, he began to thrust hard and fast.

"Oh! Hah… Oh, oh, oh, ah, yes, yes, yes, oh, hah, yes!" I moaned, my optics offlining, just letting him do whatever he wanted. It felt nice. He just came, fragged, and that was it. Nothing kinky, nothing fancy. Just simple intercourse, rough and hard.

"Ah!" I cried as I overloaded, but he never even paused. He kept going until he finally overloaded.

Once he had relieved himself into me, he pulled out, grabbed Skywarp, put him in the same position, and fragged him. Skywarp moaned and gasped, staying submissive as I had. A servo rested over Thundercracker's arms that held him, the other on the berthtop. I sat on the berth, closing my codpiece as I watched. Skywarp onlined his optics and glared at me, but never ceased in his moaning. I wasn't sure why he was giving me such an angry look. I lowered my wings, my happiness instantly vanishing.

Thundercracker overloaded after some time and finished with Skywarp. He pulled out of him and climbed onto the berth. I waited until he was lying down before lying beside him and cuddling close. Skywarp lied on the other side of him, cuddling that side. Thundercracker wrapped his arms around us as he lied on his back, his servos resting on our afts.

"Night, my femmes." He smirked, giving us a form pat on our afts.

"Night, sexy mech." I fluttered my wings, my helm resting on his chest plates as I snuggled. I loved snuggling against him like that, feeling him holding me. I felt safe and loved.

"Night, TC." Skywarp said softly, his helm also on Thundercracker's chest as he cuddled.

Thundercracker held us a little closer to him before he shut down for recharge. I onlined my optics and looked at Skywarp, his faceplates almost in mine. My wings drooped, seeing him glaring at me.

"What's wrong?" I whispered, scared all of a sudden.

His engine growled softly. "You know what." He snapped, only venom in his vocalizer.

I shrunk back from him. I honestly didn't know what was wrong. I clung to Thundercracker tighter and turned my helm away. Coolant soon filled my optics and I found myself softly sobbing. I wasn't sure what it was that I had done.

When I heard Skywarp fall into recharge I offlined my optics and did the same, hoping that in the morning things would be back to normal.

* * *

I onlined the next orbital cycle finding Thundercracker already gone. Skywarp was sitting up and moving towards me. I felt him grab me, then get over me, ready for morning interface. I removed my codpiece and just relaxed, letting him have full control. It just seemed like any other morning, until he was inside of me. He grasped my wings and pinned me down hard. My optics widened, not sure what was happening.

"Skywarp?" I looked back at him, wings drooping in submission.

"Stop stealing Thundercracker." He growled, flicking his wings at me.

"What? I'm not-Ah!" I yelped when he suddenly bent my wing back. "Skywarp, please! I-I'm not stealing-"

"Shut up!" He bent my other wing before beginning to dominate me. He was giving it his all, pulling my wings back and folding them, making it as excruciating as possible.

"Ah! Please!" I cried, coolant soon pouring from my optics as I clawed at the berthtop. "S-Skywarp, p-please! I-I'm sorry! Ahh! PLEASE!" I screamed, wanting to get away, to fight, but having to stay submissive to him. If I fought back I could be beaten, and I certainly didn't want that.

"I see how he looks at you. How he _always_ is fragging you first and-and fragging you more than he does me! You are _not_ taking him away from me!" His optics wore glowing with such raw hatred now, his wings flared.

I just bawled out my optics, unable to say anything but cry out and beg for him to stop. He started to bite my neck cables, still bending my wings. He didn't let up with his thrusting and hurting me for over a breem.

When he finally stopped, he just held me down, still inside of me. I whimpered, softly sobbing as I listened to him cooling off over me. After what felt like an eternity he leaned in closer and growled in my audio receptor.

"He is mine also. You share him. I _will_ beat you if you keep trying to take him away from me."

I nodded, unable to speak. He pulled out of me and stormed out of the room. I just lied there, crying into my servos, not sure why he thought I was stealing _our_ trineleader. I loved both of them and wanted to always be with them. Why would I ever want to keep one to myself when I needed the two of them?

The rest of the orbital cycle was uneventful. I tried to clean and polish the apartment to occupy my processor. It hurt to walk from the pain in my valve. And my wings were screaming at me. I had unbent them as best I could, but they were still crooked and dented. Skywarp ignored me, only giving me glares from the corner of his optics when I neared him.

I couldn't take it and spent most of the afternoon crying in my berthroom. I wanted to call carrier or Gearshift, but maybe they shouldn't be involved with what went on in my trine.

When Thundercracker came home I ran to him and hugged him. He held me close, kissing me on the lip plates. Skywarp stayed back.

"What happened to your wings?" Thundercracker asked, stroking one of them over the dents.

"I had to dominate him. He acted up." Skywarp replied flatly, like it was just an every orbital cycle thing.

"Hmm." Thundercracker grunted. "Guess you know better now than to act up."

I slowly nodded, not looking at him. He kissed me again as he gave my aft a few loving pats.

"Does your valve still hurt?"

"Yes, sir." I whispered.

"Alright. No interface for you." He gave me a quick squeeze before releasing me.

I watched him walk over and love on Skywarp, my wings still as low as they could go. Skywarp flashed a mean smirk at me before he madly kissed Thunder on the lip plates. I just stayed quiet. It hurt. I really didn't understand this jealousy. Thundercracker belonged to both of us…

That evening I sat on the berth, my wings low as I watched my trinemates bond. Thundercracker gave Skywarp his full attention, just fragging him hard and fast. Skywarp moaned so loud, definitely over doing it to get to me. I wanted to cry.

Once Thundercracker was satisfied, he pulled us both close, holding us as he always did before going to recharge. I clung to him, feeling safe in his arms. Skywarp barely spared me a glance before he fell into recharge.

I cried myself to recharge that night.

* * *

Things were up and down with Skywarp. Sometimes he acted jealous towards me, and other orbital cycles he just loved on me like nothing was going on. He never stopped fragging me in the morning. That was our special time to bond. Just the two of us.

On Thundercracker's orbital cycles off he fragged both of us in the morning. It was just the gentles, slowest, most loving interface you could get from him. That was my favorite bonding. I never felt so loved than when we have those slow, quiet threesomes.

Our life was very simple like this for a for stellar cycles. Thundercracker worked, we bonded, I cleaned and read, Skywarp played games and watched TV. I wouldn't say it was a boring time of my life, just a slow time. Whenever I could I would visit my creators and full siblings.

I just stayed submissive, out of trouble, and didn't really do anything. But, as always, things were going to change.

It was one of Thunder's orbital cycles off and we were doing some shopping. I felt safer when Thunder was with us. Grounders hated Seekers and when it was just Warp and I it felt kid of daunting. But when my big, strong, brave trineleader was there I had nothing to be afraid of.

We had grabbed what we needed and were waiting inline to checkout. Skywarp kept kissing me on the cheekplates, and I couldn't help but giggle at all the affection he was giving me. Thundercracker had his usual serious expression as he kept an optic out for potential danger. He was so protective of us.

My wings perked when a cart pulled up behind us, another customer getting inline. What caught my attention was the little sparkling riding in the seat of it. She was so tiny, and very different from all the sparklings I grew up with. A little grounder, less than a stellar cycle old.

My optics were locked on her, wings perking. Skywarp ceased his hugging and kissing to look at what I saw. His wings perked as well, curious.

The little one noticed me, giggled, and waved. I faintly smiled and waved back.

"Hi." I said softly.

Thundercracker glanced at the two of us before going back to guarding. I pressed myself against my trineleader, wanting to go over to this adorable sparkling, but needing his permission first.

"I think she likes you." The carrier of the sparkling smiled. She was a grounder femme, and quite small.

"She's really cute, ma'am." I replied, a little anxious. "How old?"

"Four decacycles."

I glanced at Thundercracker, but he wasn't even looking. I pushed myself off him and took a few steps over, nearing the sparkling. My wings fluttered, and it elicited another giggled from the little one.

"M-may I hold her, ma'am?" I asked hopefully.

She hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, she likes meeting new people."

I carefully picked up that sparkling and held her against my chestplates. She instantly began to play with my outer cooling fans. Primus, she was so adorable.

"Hey, my designation is Starscream. What's yours?"

"Sapphire."

"That's a beautiful designation."

"Thank you." The femme smiled.

I looked at Thundercracker who was now watching me. He didn't seem impressed. Skywarp kind of held back, which was odd because he loved sparklings.

"You have any?" The femme asked.

I slowly shook my helm. "No. Not now at least. One orbital cycle maybe. I do want one eventually. But I'm not ready right now."

"Yeah, took us a while before we finally felt like we could handle one. They're a lot of work."

"I know. I have two hundred and eight siblings. I'm use to being around little ones."

"Oh, you're one of his?"

I nodded. "Yeah, sire is the Alpha Seeker." My engine purred as I watched the sparkling. "And who is your sire, cutie?"

"I am." A gruff vocalizer growled.

I quickly looked up, my wings lowering instantly. A large grounder was suddenly before me, not pleased at all. I shrunk back, suddenly scared.

"Get your filthy paws off my daughter, freak!" He barked as he snatched the sparkling away from me.

I quickly ran behind Thundercracker, trembling now. Thunder instantly went into touch-my-trinemates-and-there-won't-be-anything-left-of-you mode. His wings flared, engine growling, and optics narrowed. Skywarp got behind him, too, the two of us just letting our trineleader handle the situation.

"What is wrong with you? They were just saying hi!" The femme yelled at her mate.

"They're Seekers! They could have killed our daughter!"

"They were being nice! Why can't you just-!"

"We're going into another line." He then stormed off with his daughter.

The femme rolled her optics. "I'm sorry about him." She said quickly before pushing her cart away after him.

I watched them leave, then hugged my trineleader. I just didn't understand why Seekers and grounders didn't get along. Thundercracker had to pull me along because I was in such a daze.

I just wanted to hold a sparkling…

I didn't say much for the rest of the orbital cycle. Thundercracker fragged us that night and we went to recharge as normal. I held onto him, traumatized from that event.

* * *

It would be a couple of decacycles after that incident that Thundercracker came into my quarters. It was his orbital cycle off, and I was reading as usual.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiled as he walked in.

"Hey, sexy." I smiled sheepishly, not looking at him.

He lifted my chin and pecked a kiss to my lip plates. "What are you reading about now?"

"The molecular makeup of organics."

"Sounds weird."

"It's fascinating. They're made up of microscopic living cells. Living things made up of other living things."

"Sounds freaky." He kissed me on the lip plates. "So, I wanted to talk to you about something." He then sat on my berth.

I perked my wings as I set aside my datapad. "What's up?"

"So… I've been waiting for the right time to make this next big step in our lives. And I feel like we're ready for it. We have plenty of Shanix, a nice apartment, graduated from the War Academy, and we're well bonded. That being said, I would like to begin our family."

I swallowed. "Family?"

"I'm going to spark you."

I felt my spark drop. "I-I don't think I'm ready, Thundercracker." I stuttered anxiously.

"Why not? You're very loving, caring, gentle, you know how to care for sparklings. I think now is the time to begin."

I hesitated before speaking. "I-I wanted… I wanted to do something before h-having a sparkling."

He perked his wings. "What did you want to do?"

"I…" I swallowed. "I-I wanted to go to the Science Academy in Iacon a-and get a Masters in Science." I blurted out, nervous of how he would take it.

He just looked at me before laughing. He never laughed. "Seriously?!" He finally managed to say. "You? A scientist? You're a warrior, Starscream, not some weak nerd sitting at a desk all orbital cycle looking through a microscope!" His smile was gone and there was no more laughter. "Do you honestly believe they would even _consider_ letting a Seeker into the Science Academy? Are you insane or stupid?"

I wanted to cry. "I-I just thought-"

"You thought. You're obviously not thinking hard enough. You're a _Seeker_ , Starscream! We _fight_ , we _kill_ , and we stay _away_ from science academies!"

Coolant started to leak down my cheekplates. "I-I just really want t-to be a-a scientists a-and learn things…"

"It's not happening, Starscream. Stop being an _idiot_ and face reality. You're a _Seeker_!" He stood up, pissed off. "I'll be back tonight and begin to spark you. And if you fight me I will beat the slag out of you. Do I make myself clear?"

I nodded, trying to control my crying. He stormed out, leaving my to bawl into my servos.

He did return that night and very roughly forced me onto my berth. I watched him connect his nanite wires before he penetrated me. Obediently, I opened my chestplates to him and allowed him to sparkbond with me. I don't know how many times he overloaded into me before calling it a night. I just curled against his chassis as he held me, just us recharging that night.

In the morning, he did it again. Sparkbonded with me, getting as many overloads as he could in me before having to go to work.

I stayed in my room all orbital cycle, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. Skywarp brought me energon, but I wasn't hungry. I didn't even feel like reading.

* * *

"Ow… Hah… Oh, oh, Primus…" I moaned, grasping a cushion tightly as Thundercracker fragged me. He pinned me down, going all out on me.

It had been several orbital cycles of him constantly fragging me, trying to spark me. Whenever he could he was in me, no matter where we were. In our rooms, on the couch, on the balcony, in the streets, wherever. He fragged me every joor he was home, and got as many overloads into me as he could. Sometimes, he got too hard and fast and it hurt. But I just had to deal with it. If I complained he smacked my aft or slapped my face and told me to shut up and to "stop acting like a sparkling." So I forced myself to be strong and just take it.

We were making a sparkling after all. And that would make everything better.

"Nyahhh!" I cried when he climaxed and harshly sparkbonded with me. It hurt most of the time, and my spark burned afterwards.

He panted over me, cooling off. His servos felt over me, then he leaned forward and kissed my nape, his engine purring.

"I love you." He whispered.

I didn't respond. I didn't really talk to him anymore. I stayed still, panting, wincing from the burn in my spark and my sore valve.

"Mmnnnrrr!" I groaned as he pulled out of me, my servos clutching the cushion tighter. I heard him close his plates as he stood up, then gave my aft a smack, which I quickly jumped away from.

"I'm leaving. Test yourself and take a shower." He grunted before walking out of my room.

I watched him leave, my wings raising a little. I didn't get out of berth until I heard him walk out of the apartment. I got up, wincing from the discomfort between my legs, and grabbed the scanner from my desk. I held it out and scanned my spark before closing my plates back up.

Negative.

I vented a relieved sigh. I really did not want to get sparked. I just was not ready for that yet. But my frame would only go unsparked for so long before he was eventually successful. I had to do something to keep him from sparking me.

I set aside my scanner and exited my room, being careful as I walked. I got to the washroom when Skywarp materialized before me.

"Hey." He greeted casually.

"Hey…" I said quietly, my wings drooping, not making optic contact with him.

"You sparked?"

I shook my helm. "No… Not yet."

"He's been trined longer to me and yet decides to spark you first? Kinda not fair, don't you think?" He raised an optical ridge.

"I don't want to be sparked, Skywarp. At least not right now. I'm not ready yet."

"Uh huh."

"Please, Warp, not now. I just want to take a shower and go back to crying in my room."

"You're such a sparkling." He snapped, wings flicking.

I inhaled deeply. "Yes. Yes, I am. Please, can I take a shower?" I finally looked at him, just not in the mood for any of this.

"Whatever." He rolled his optics, throwing his servos in the air.

I walked past him and opened the door to the washroom. But his verbal attacks weren't over yet.

"You'd think that a creation of the Alpha would actually have a spinal strut… Or did your carrier frag a zap mouse to make you? Gonna scamper off and cry that she's not here to hold your servo? Hmm? Her brass bearings are bigger than yours, little glitch."

No one insulted my carrier. _No one_.

I was fast. And he didn't expect it. I swung around and punched him right in that vulgar mouth of his. He cried out as he fell down, completely taken by surprise. I was on top of him in an instant, punching him repeatedly in the faceplates. He teleported out from under me, grabbed my wings, and slammed me into the wall. I activated my thrusters, grabbed his arm, and threw him down. We ended up rolling around, punching, kicking, biting, pulling wings, and clawing at each other. I don't know how long we were at it before Skywarp teleported away.

I stopped, panting as I gazed upon the floor. He was just gone. I rubbed over my faceplates, then looked at my servos. There was energon. When Seekers fight there's always energon. Kind of hard to be a trained killer and not tear your opponent apart in even the smallest of scuffles.

I got up and went to the washroom. I just wanted to get clean and forget about everything. I had no idea where Skywarp had gone, but I would soon find out. I turned on the water and let the warmth ease my aching gears and pistons.

* * *

I was trying to get myself to clean after I had gotten out of the shower, but I just felt so defeated. Like there wasn't a reason to bother with cleaning. My wings perked when the door hissed open and my trinemates entered.

I instantly felt like I was going to die.

"March your aft to my quarters." Thundercracker snarled, his wings flaring, optics narrowed, and engine growling.

My wings drooped and I quickly looked away from him. Skywarp looked like he had been getting some treatment for he didn't have any energon on him and his wings were no longer bent. But he was still dented all over.

I quickly went to Thundercracker's berthroom, beginning to tremble, not sure what would happen to me. He was behind me and locked the door once we were inside.

"Lie down on the berth." He commanded, cold, just ice in his vocalizer.

I swallowed, static beginning to fill my optics. "I-I'm sorry. I-I l-lost control, b-but it won't h-happen again, s-sir!" I begun to choke on sobs, my wings rattling on my back.

He rummaged through a drawer before he pulled out a very thick, metal cable and doubled it over. "Lie down on the berth." He snapped again.

I took a few steps back, seeing what he was going to use on me. I had seen my sire use one on my aunts and uncles so many times. Heard them screaming from the pain, trying to get away, and the damage it did to their afts, thighs, and wings. I did not want to be hurt. I was scared of pain. And Thundercracker was strong. _Really_ strong. I knew he would cause astronomical pain.

He stomped forward, grabbed my arm, and forced me onto the berth. I struggled some, engulfed in fear, but he managed to get me onto my front.

"Stay put." He growled.

"P-please, don't!" I begged. "I-I'm so sorry, Th-Thundercracker!"

I then received my first lash from a cable. The first of many I would be receiving throughout my life. I screamed and jumped away, rolling onto my back so he couldn't hit my aft again.

"PLEASE! NO MORE! I-I can't t-take anymore!" I shrieked, trying to crawl away.

He grabbed me, yanked me over, and flipped me back onto my front with ease. He held me down with a servo pressed between my wings and resumed striking my aft as hard and fast as he could.

"Ah! AH! AH! STOP-AH!" I screamed from each lash, my frame telling me to escape. I instinctively struggled, trying to reach back and stop the blows from hitting my aft, but he just grabbed my wrists, and held them against my back. I could only kick and squirm as he kept lashing me.

I was bawling my optics out, shrieking, and begging. It hurt like nothing else. Far worse than a dominating. A trillion times worse than what Brakelight did. It was the most vile, evil sensation I ever experienced. And before my frame could even begin to recover from a lash another one was dealt. And he never let up, never slowed down, never weakened. It was just the same horrible, brutal, cruel lash one after another. And all I could do was cry. My struggling was nothing. He was too strong.

All I knew was the pain. I didn't even notice my own screaming. It was just the searing pain engulfing my being. It was in my aft and thighs. Taking over me. Helpless to its torturous snare.

It wasn't a quick aft beating. He kept at it for maybe two kliks, but it felt so much longer than that. I just remember the worse of the stinging coming to an end, but so much pain still there. Then, I felt his servos touching me, lifting me up, and then feeling him hug me.

"It's over now. Your punishment is over." He said softly, kissing me on the brow. "Don't act up again. I don't like having to do this to my trinemates."

I just clung to him, crying into his chassis, needing all the comfort I could get. Primus, it hurt.

He picked me up and carried me out of the room and to the couch. He sat down and set me on his lap, just holding me, stroking my wings. I kept bawling my optics out into the crook of his neck, my arms wrapped around his neck.

I felt… like he didn't love me. I hadn't felt that before but the beating just felt like he was tired of me and didn't want me. That he hated me enough to hurt me. I knew it was for my own good. That the only way I could ever learn was to be beaten. That this would make be behave and be a better person. A more obedient trinemate. But it hurt so much.

I didn't realize it at the time, but it was the foundation of why traditionalism, why physical punishment, only did harm, not actually help. And it would continue to destroy me for stellar cycles to come.

I cried and cried and cried until it was just burned out of me. I eventually found myself resting my helm on Thundercracker's shoulder, still sitting on his lap, looking ahead of me. Skywarp was sitting beside Thunder, but he wouldn't even look at me. I just watched him in silence, ignoring what was on the TV. All I could think about was the pain in my rear and that my trineleader hated me.

It was a while before Thundercracker started to kiss me, his passion burning. I lowered my wings, not bothering to move or do anything. He lowered me onto the couch, forcing Skywarp to scoot away. I offlined my optics, not wanting to look at Thundercracker. I could still see his furious optics before me. I gasped when he entered me, then begun to thrust. The pain mixed with the pleasure and… kind of felt nice. He kept kissing me on the lip plates, acting like it was just any other orbital cycle. Any other night he was making love to me.

I still refused to look at him or pleasure back. I might as well have been a corpse.

He wanted his sparkling, though, and overloaded into me while sparkbonding a few times. Once he was satisfied with me, he pulled out, unplugged his nanite wires, and went to town on Skywarp. I sat in the corner of the couch, studying my servos as I listened to them. When Thunder was done he picked me up, carried me to his room, and set me on the berth. I soon found myself in his arms as he settled for recharge. Skywarp cuddled against our trineleader, watching me from across Thunder's chestplates. I didn't look at him. I clung to my trineleader, offlined my optics, and did what I had been increasingly doing more of recently.

I cried myself to recharge.

* * *

Thundercracker fragged me the next morning before he left for work. Skywarp didn't say a word to me, instead silently leaving the room and going to his berthroom. After Thundercracker had left I sat in my room, my aft still sore and feeling sorry for myself.

I couldn't take this. I knew I had been punished because I screwed up. And now I would be better behaved for it. But I just was not ready for a sparkling. I wanted to go to the Science Academy. Maybe if I could just hold off on having a sparkling TC may change his processor.

Maybe.

I got up and snuck out of the apartment. I had an idea.

* * *

I flew to the nearby adult store where we got our cleaning solution for our valves and Thundercracker got his… equipment for punishing us. Adult stores were well in business in Vos. Seekers loved their interface, and traditional trineleaders needed a place where they could purchase chains, manacles, whips, tawses, and other things to discipline their subordinates with. Seekers probably were the primary customers of adult stores…

I avoided the back of the store, where the punishment equipment was, and stayed in the front where the most important items were probably located.

I grabbed a couple of groundings and a nanite neutralizer before nervously going to the register.

"Hello, find everything?" The femme cashier greeted.

"Y-yes, ma'am." I said softly, quickly paying for my items.

She glanced at me, noticing how nervous I was, but maybe she thought I was about to lose my virginity or something. She finished ringing me up and I quickly left, subspacing my things.

I quietly snuck back into the apartment, wings perking as I listened for Skywarp. I could hear his vidscreen in his room, so he hadn't noticed me leaving. I locked myself in my room, trembling as I sat at my desk. I unsubspaced the groundings and nanite neutralizer, opened by abdominal plating, and pushed a mirror in front of me, I was shaking so hard, knowing what I was doing was not acceptable to Seeker society, but I had to do it. I didn't want to be sparked. Not until I was a scientist.

I found my gestation tube and pinched it, biting my lower lip plate as I placed both groundings on it. Then, I took the nanite neutralizer and put it over the nanite production unit for my gestation tank. It would "turn off" my gestation nanites, ensuring I couldn't have a creation if any nanites got through the groundings. I didn't grab a spark neutralizer because those were visible once the chestplates were open. I couldn't risk Thundercracker finding out.

I opened my window and threw out the packages from my purchases, hiding the evidence. I quickly closed my plates and set everything back to normal, petrified of what I just did.

I was going against my trineleader big time. But I had to do this. I needed to go to the Science Academy.

* * *

"I'm home!"

I perked my wings, sitting on my berth reading a datapad. I listened to the sound of Skywarp running to Thundercracker and hugging him, then them kissing and getting affectionate. I bit my lip plate, knowing I couldn't hide forever.

My door soon hissed open and my trineleader walked in. "Hey, beautiful." He said softly, approaching me and kissing me on the lip plates. "How's my sexy brother doing?"

"Tired." I said barely louder than a whisper.

"Did you recharge last night?"

"Somewhat."

He sat beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You know I love you, right?"

I bit my lip plate, then nodded, not looking at him.

He kissed me on the cheekplates. "Sweetie… Sometimes… I as the trineleader have to punish my trinemates. It's for your own protection and welfare. I don't enjoy it. But it's something I have to do or else I wouldn't be taking care of my trine. You attacked Skywarp. I know he said nasty things to you, but you are supposed to tell me and I'll handle him. Never engage in combat. I had to punish you so you'd learn this. You were punished, it's over, and you now know better. Alright?"

I slowly nodded, the memory of what happened yesterday returning to my processor fully. All the fear and pain. Coolant began to pool in my optics, and he noticed.

"I brought home some cake. You want some?"

I shook my helm.

He was quiet a moment before speaking. "I did punish Skywarp for insulting you. It was when he came to me in my office to tell me about you attacking him. He confessed, he was punished, and then I had to punish you. You weren't targeted."

I finally looked up at him, but still couldn't get myself to talk. He kissed me again, hugging me close to him. I rested my helm on his chestplates, listening to the soft rumbling of his engine against my audio receptor.

"I love you, Starscream. I love you and Skywarp more than anything and I would gladly die if it meant keeping you two safe. Without any hesitation. You two are my entire world, my responsibility, and the best trinemates I could have ever hoped to trine. I could never hate you."

"Really?" I asked softly, looking up at him.

He faintly smirked. "Really." He kissed me on the lip plates. "If I didn't love you I wouldn't want to have sparklings with you two."

"Why aren't you trying to spark Warp?"

"I think it's best we start with one before trying to raise two at once."

"But you've been trined to him longer."

"I don't think Skywarp is ready to be a carrier."

"I'm not either…" I swallowed.

"You are. I know you are." He kissed me again.

I wanted to say something about not being ready until I graduated from the Science Academy, but I chose best to remain silent. Instead, I snuggled against him, hoping he wouldn't try to frag me right now.

"How about we get some cake, drink a little engex, and watch a movie. Sound good?"

"Just hang out?"

"Mhmm." He nuzzled olfactory sensors with me. "No interface. I think you need a break."

I finally smiled. "Thank you." I hugged him, wings giving a small flutter, in love with my awesome trineleader all over again.

He picked me up and carried me outside to the couch where he set me down. Before long, I found myself sitting on Thundercracker's lap with a slice of cake and a glass of engex, and Skywarp snuggled against the two of us with his own cake and bottle. Thundercracker held us close, his engine purring, proud of his trine. His trine he was willing to fight and die for. We were his, and we loved it.

I smiled, able to enjoy what I loved about my trine once more.

* * *

Thundercracker gave me the next orbital cycle off as well from interface. I needed it. His constant fragging had taken a toll on my frame and I just needed to rest. But, the rest wasn't forever.

I was in my room teaching myself advanced calculus from a textpad I had purchased when Thundercracker entered my room. He just walked over, pushed me onto my front, and climbed on the berth behind me. I quickly turned myself around and scooted away from him.

"Thunder, please." I said softly. "I'm tired. Can I have another orbital cycle off?"

"Just a few overloads." He grabbed me again and started to flip me over.

I struggled free and stayed on my back. "I don't want to interface."

"I do. Turn over." He ordered abruptly.

"Please, TC, I don't want to."

"But I do."

"I-isn't it wrong to interface someone who doesn't want it? Like… rape? Ah!" I yelped when he slapped my face hard.

His optics were glowing furiously as his wings flared. "I am _not_ raping you!" He roared. "How _dare_ you claim I am! I am your trineleader. There is _no_ 'rape' from your trineleader whether you want it or not. You're _mine_. Understand!?"

I shrunk back, trembling as I quickly nodded. "Y-yes sir!" I blurted out, static beginning to fill my optics.

"And if you ever dare claim I am raping you or deny me interface I will beat you. Do I make myself clear?" He growled.

I nodded again, coolant leaking down my cheekplates now.

"Turn. Over." He commanded with gritted denta.

I swallowed before slowly doing so, lying on my front. I opened my codpiece and lifted my aft up, giving myself to him. I didn't want to risk making him any angrier. I listened to him remove his own codpiece, felt him grabbing me, positioning me, then push inside of me. I gasped, clutching the berthtop, it hurting some.

He held me firmly in place as he thrust, fragging me as he pleased. Satisfying himself, not me. He forced me to sparkbond with him, he bit my nape, he humped too hard, he just kept going until he deemed he had enough.

I softly cried, unable to stop any of it. He was the trineleader and he had every right to do this to his trinemates. I was the one being a sparkling about it.

We were making one of those, after all. With all the love and affection that two creators should have when making something they will love, cherish, and raise together. It was so… I wanted to choose when to have my creation. I wanted to smile when making my sparklings knowing I was ready, I wanted them, and I was happy to do it.

I wasn't… Not now.

He just kissed and cuddled me once he had finished. He held me close as he recharged, and all I could do was cry into his chassis.

* * *

"Carrier! There's a waste helm at the door!"

"Hello to you too, slagheap." I grunted at my seven stellar cycle old brother as I entered carrier's quarters.

"Be nice, Hellfire." Carrier grunted at that little, slagging hellion before smiling at me. "Hey, sweetspark. What's up?"

I kissed her on the cheekplates, my wings fluttering and engine purring. "Nothing much, carrier. You're looking beautiful this orbital cycle." I smirked.

"Stop it." She smiled sheepishly. "I'm gross. I haven't showered in a few orbital cycles and I just know engine grease is building up on my pistons and-"

"You look great, carrier." I sat beside her as I took my newest full sibling from her who was only three decacycles old. "Hey, Streamline. Missed your favorite full brother?"

She was too tired to give a damn about anything. Simply eyed me, then offlined her optics for recharge. I held her against my chestplates, studying her for a moment before my wings lowered. Thundercracker wanted to force one of these on me so soon… I wanted one, I did, but why couldn't we wait?

"Something wrong, sweetie?" Carrier inquired.

I looked at her. "Kind of…"

"What?"

"Thundercracker is currently trying to spark me and… I'm not ready. I don't want a sparkling right now. And he won't listen to me…" I lowered my vocalizer. "I got an aft beating this morning because I gave him a hard time about fragging me. A-and he slapped me last night when I said I felt like he was raping me when he forced me to interface with him."

"He can't rape you. He's your trineleader." Carrier reminded me gently. "Your sire takes me all the time when I don't want to interface, but it's not my place nor my right to deny him. He's the Alpha. He's the trineleader. I listen, obey, and submit to him. Just as we all do to our dominants."

"I know… Just… Sometimes It's hard to submit to anyone. I want to do my own thing… It's hard to listen to rules."

"I know, sweetie… But we're submissives. We are beneath our dominants. They decide our lives for us now. We listen, obey, and submit. Jut that for now on."

"But what if I don't want to do that?" I perked my wings at her.

She didn't speak immediately. "You have to. We have no other choice. They make our choices for us. We are theirs fully. Simply how the world works. It's for the better. If every Seeker did what they wanted instead of obeying their trineleader there would be chaos. Look at the grounders when they have their anarchy with the whole 'freedom for everyone' slag. It doesn't actually give anyone freedom. It just makes people not know what to do, they do something they shouldn't, no one corrects them, and bad things happen. They do circuit boosters, they get over energized, they abuse their sparklings, they murder, they steal, they rape, they are completely lost. Trineleaders ensure no one is lost, and the Alpha ensures no trineleader is lost. It has been this way for thousands of vorns and so long as it stays so will us Seekers flourish."

I eyed her. "Are we flourishing? Really? Because I see a lot of Seekers being blamed for crimes they never committed and arrested. I see Seekers the victims of discrimination and harassment with their attackers going free. I see a lot of inequality and us Seekers the ones getting the short end of the stick."

"Grounders are messing things up, not tradition." She said firmly.

I turned back to my sister, silent for a moment before speaking. "I don't think I'll be sparked anytime soon anyway… It doesn't matter…"

"Why wouldn't you be sparked?"

"Not sparked yet so… Maybe my spark is hard to bond with. Assumptions, carrier. Don't pry too deep into it."

"I won't."

"What is the fat mech up to?"

"Being your usual sire."

"Spike in a breeding mate and his mouth running about politics?"

"Watch how you speak in front of the sparklings."

"Sorry."

She paused. "And yes. He doesn't know what else to do with himself…"

"And you?"

"Surviving."

"Not living?"

"I have sparklings to raise. I have no time for myself."

I was silent, not wanting that life at all.

* * *

 **Two Decacycles Later:**

I leaned over the back of the couch as Thundercracker interfaced me. Panting, soft gasps from each firm thrust he gave me, I was exhausted and couldn't do anything more. I just looked ahead, watching whatever it was Skywarp was watching on the vidscreen. I whimpered softly as Thundercracker nipped my nape, always so possessive of me when he was enjoying himself. His left arm was tightly wrapped around my waist while he rested his free servo on the back of the couch.

I still hadn't been sparked, and Thundercracker was trying everything he could to figure out why. He gave me breaks, he tried different positions, going hard at me, being super gentle and slow, giving me better energon, everything. But I still was not carrying.

"Nrrgh!" He growled as he overloaded, filling me with his active nanites as he sparkbonded with me.

"Ack!" I yelped, jumping some at the sensation.

He panted into my audio receptor for a bit before kissing my nape, his arms hugging me lovingly. He then slowly pulled out and released me. I took a moment before closing my plates, climbing over the back of the couch, and sitting beside Skywarp, glad to be done.

Skywarp leaned against me and I hugged him, my wings fluttering. He kissed my cheekplates before resuming watching his show. Thundercracker flicked his wings a few times, ridding excess energy from them as he stood by the window, still panting, cooling himself off. When he was finally no longer overheating, he sat down beside me and watched TV with us.

It was a couple of joors later when he finally spoke.

"I think we need to see a doctor."

I perked my wings. "Who sees a doctor?"

"You and me. We need to figure out why you're not sparked yet."

I swallowed, feeling my spark drop. "M-maybe it's just not the time…?"

"It's time. I want a sparkling. I'll call my carrier tomorrow and figure out which doctor she recommends. Hopefully we can get an appointment soon."

"I-I don't think a doctor is necessary, sir."

"I make the decisions around here. It doesn't matter if you think or not, what I will goes." He said firmly, giving me a sideways glare.

I hugged Skywarp righter, looking away. Warp stroked my backplates soothingly, never looking away from his program. I wanted to cry. I couldn't risk going to a doctor. I didn't want a creation.

* * *

I onlined in Thundercracker's arms, feeling him kissing my lip plates. I was still so tired from last night and his endless fragging that I didn't even bother to online my optics or move. I simply removed my codpiece and let him do whatever it was he wanted. I felt him getting over me, pushing me to my back, and soon entering me. I moaned, gasped, and whined, but still stubbornly tried to fall back into recharge. He pried at my chestplates and I obediently opened them, letting him see my spark. He continued, soon overloaded twice in me and was going for number three when he spoke.

"Maybe we should check your tube?"

My optics shot online and I looked up at him. "What? No! I mean… You're making me go to a doctor so let's wait until then."

His wings perked as he gazed down at me. He always looked so much bigger when he took me in missionary.

"Yeah, well, they're expensive and if we can figure out the problem without a doctor the better. Open your abdominal plating." He said. Not commanding, not rude, just saying it.

I shook my helm. "I rather a doctor saw in there."

He raised an optical ridge at me. "Seriously? I'm inside of you right now. This is no different. Open."

I shook my help. "No, please. I want a doctor.

Now he was getting frustrated. "No, Starscream. Let me see first. Open." He tapped my abdomen.

I didn't say or do anything. I didn't want him finding the groundings. He would kill me if he found them.

His wings flared. "Open, Starscream."

I swallowed.

"Open, or else." He growled.

"Please…" I whispered.

"If you do not open I will force them apart."

"Thunder, please don't. I-I'll see the doctor and-Ah!" I yelped when he slapped my faceplates.

His servos then lowered and began to tear at my abdominal plating. "OPEN!" He barked, furious now. He must have suspected me of hiding something. He did. I know he did. The way he went at my body like he did….

I cried, trembling as I struggled, but he was still in me, still over me, and so much stronger than me. I felt him pulling, tearing, and it hurt. He was hurting me.

With coolant in my optics I opened my abdominal plates best I could. It's not easy to control those plates. He pulled them apart the rest of the way, his wings perking before he dug around inside of me. I was crying, shaking, petrified. I knew I was dead. I knew I would suffer.

Oh, how I suffered.

When he stopped rummaging inside of me was when I knew he found it. His optics were narrow slits, his wings flared, and engine growling.

"What. Are. These?" He snarled, his vocalizer promising instant death.

I couldn't speak. I just cried.

"Skywarp, go for a flight." He barked.

Skywarp had been watching us from where he sat on the berth. He was in shock, not sure what to think or say. He disappeared in a flash of purple, then hell broke loose.

Thundercracker suddenly grasped my neck with one servo as the other grabbed my wing. He then began to dominate me as hard as he possibly could, giving it his complete all. I cried, grabbing the wrist that pinned my neck, wriggling beneath him for freedom. All I saw were those cold, murderous optics. He didn't speak, didn't move his face closer to me. Just dominated and bent my wing. I cried, coolant pouring from my optics. His digits tightened, holding my neck so tightly I begun to have difficulty circulating. My wing tore at the edges from him twisting it, sending horrible waves of pain into me. I was just blabbering anything. Begging him to stop. But it didn't.

He just kept dominating, kept hurting me. Energon was soon oozing from my valve, and it felt like it was about to tear. He slapped my faceplates a few times during the dominating that lasted for nearly a breem before he pulled out, closed his plates, and got off the berth. I curled into myself and cried, trembling.

He suddenly grabbed me and yanked me onto my front before immediately lashing my aft with the metal cable. I screamed from each blow, trying to get away, but he was just too strong. He struck my aft, thighs, lower back, and wings, hitting as hard as he could. I was shrieking, my vocalizer hurting from how hard I was screaming. I couldn't even beg for the blows were so fast I could only scream.

I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle this pain. I felt like I was going to die. I had to get away, I struggled, I fought, but he just held me down… He just kept striking my body. All I could hear was my screams and the cable lashing across my frame. The horrible, burning pain from each blow. One stinging, evil lash after the other.

I just couldn't take it. I wasn't sure how long he had been beating me before I called Skywarp on my commlink and screamed into it.

"HELP ME! AHH! SKY-AHHHHH!" I left it on, unable to say another word as I screamed, losing my voice as my vocalizer began to malfunction. Soon, only static was escaping my mouth.

There was a flash of purple and the pain suddenly came to an end. I instantly crawled as far away as I could, curled into a ball, and bawled my optics out into my servos.

"STOP!" Skywarp shouted. "You're gonna kill him o-or break him! Thunder, calm down. Please!" He held onto Thundercracker's arm, stopping him from striking me again.

"He disobeyed me! Went behind my back and used groundings!" He roared, his vocalizer… Nothing like himself. I was terrified of that stranger's vocalizer.

"I-I know." Skywarp said a little softer, trying to calm down Thundercracker. "I know he did. But you can't beat him like this. H-he does need to be punished, but you're letting your anger control you. You need to calm down, think things through, then punish him." He paused. "I think he's been punished enough… He's leaking."

Thundercracker didn't say anything. He glared at me, then tossed the cable aside before storming out of the room.

Skywarp watched him go before coming over to me. Gently, he pulled me towards him and onto his lap. I clung to him, as if I would die if I let him go. I bawled and screamed into his chassis, shaking all over, hyperventilating from the shock.

Skywarp kissed me, holding me protectively. "Shhh, shhh… I got you, Star. It's over. Shhh…. I won't leave you. Not ever again. I'll stay for now on and make sure he doesn't take things too far. I'm sorry. Shhh." He was silent for a bit, listening to me cry before speaking. "You're pretty damaged. I'm going to take you to a doctor, alright? They'll fix you up better than I can. I'll pay for it. Don't worry. And once you're fixed I am going to hold you, and kiss you, and we're going to do whatever you want. No Thundercracker. Just you and me. Sound good?"

I slowly nodded, still sobbing and trembling in his arms. He lifted my chin and kissed me on the lip plates. Then, he teleported, taking me to a hospital. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me inside. I couldn't stop trembling. I was in shock, petrified, just… All I could see was that murderous glare of Thundercracker's. Hear that horrible vocalizer roaring. And… that cruel, awful pain.

For the first time in my life I didn't feel safe around my trineleader. And this feeling would become all too common.

But I had Skywarp. Thank Primus for him.

* * *

 **Ugh, got one week left then this semester will be done. College is so evil... But, for some reason a Ferrari was nearby my house the other day and then yesterday a Lamborghini passed me on campus. I suspect they are Transformers coming for me. I hope they abducts me already so I can avoid homework.**

 **Yes, in Seeker culture trineleaders can do whatever the fuck they want, even rape. It's similar to how so many think men have complete control of their wives and can rape them. They claim it's "not" rape since they are married. And many men think they can control every aspect of their spouse's lives, even to how they dress, what they eat, and what they do with their lives.**

 **The Alpha is well known in Vos. I mean, he's the ruler of over half the population there...**

 **Seekers are very abused and discriminated against, seen as "lesser" beings. Hence why they are not allowed to be scientists.**

 **Physical punishment of any form has negative consequences. NOTHING positive. Hit a child or dog or any living being and it just creates fear, makes them lose confidence, and fucks them up. Positive reinforcement is the ONLY way to teach children, non-human animals, and even adults. This story will delve deeper into the harm of negative reinforcement.**

 **Thundercracker just wants to spark Starscream first because he's a prince. Being a creation of the Alpha, the ultimate Seeker, means his genetics are better and therefore will have stronger, healthier creations. Not everyone can breed with a creation of the Alpha and Thundercracker is not missing his chance.**


	4. The Deal

**Chapter 4**

The doctor fixed the damage done by Thundercracker's rage and gave me pain dampeners. Skywarp took me back home and kept me in his room with him. He held me on his lap as we watched TV, stroking my backplates lovingly. I soon fell into recharge, tired from all of my crying, the shock, and just everything.

It was a few joors later when Skywarp onlined me, kissing me on the lip plates once he saw I was online.

"Hey, Scree." He smirked. Primus, I hated that nickname. I don't even know how he came up with it… "How you feeling?"

I didn't speak for a moment, and when I did my vocalizer was rough, quiet. "Awful…"

"I know…" He hugged me. "Thundercracker just got home. I hear him pacing in the living room."

I froze, petrified that he would come after me and punish me some more. I clung to Skywarp, trembling. My brother just held me, stroking my backplates.

"He won't hurt you. You were punished already." He said softly.

"I'm scared." I whispered.

He didn't say anything, just held me close. It was sometime before our trineleader shouted from the other room, startling the both of us.

"SKYWARP!"

Skywarp swallowed, gave me a tight hug, then pushed me off before he walked out of his room. I perked my wings as I sat in the silence, listening. I heard them walking, then eventually heard the obvious sounds of interface.

I stayed in Skywarp's room, hearing them frag until it ended. Then just silence. I could tell they were recharging now, and before long I was as well.

I onlined the next morning to Skywarp nuzzling his olfactory sensor against mine, his wings fluttering and engine purring. I rolled onto my back, expecting him wanting to frag, but he didn't take me. He kissed and hugged me, just loving on me.

"I got you some energon." He said softly as he gestured to the cube on his desk. "Thunder's gone. He left for work a few joors ago." He pecked a kiss to my lip plates. "You're beautiful. How are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts…" I barely said, not looking at him.

"You can stay in here with me. I don't mind."

I didn't react. I did stay with him, soon finding myself on his lap as he watched TV. I didn't pay attention. I just saw Thundercracker's murderous optics… and felt that awful pain…

I cried anew, unable to get over what he had done. I never would.

Eventually, I left Skywarp and went to my own room. I just stayed in there, keeping to myself. I heard Thundercracker come home and froze, trembling as I heard him walk by my room. I listened to him frag Skywarp, then the two of them going to recharge.

I don't know how long I sat in my room after they had gone silent before I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed some of my datapads, subspaced them, snuck out of the apartment, and flew away.

I transformed and landed on the balcony outside of my carrier's door and knocked. It was soon opened by her, giving me a confused look.

"Why are you here, Starscream? It's late." She asked softly, concern in her optics.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Instead I just shook my helm, coolant leaking from my optics.

Her wings lowered before she hugged me. "Come in, sweetspark. Stay as long as you need to." She said quietly, quickly getting me inside before locking the door behind me.

I sat on her berth, my two youngest full siblings recharging on it peacefully. Primus, I hoped they would never get a trine.

"What's wrong?" Carrier asked as she sat beside me, a dainty servo on my arm.

"H-he hurt me… M-more than necessary… I-I thought he was g-going to k-kill me." I chocked out as I begun to sob. "I-I slagged up. H-he hates me now."

"What happened?" She stroked my arm, worried about me and angry at my trineleader.

It took me a moment before I could speak. "I-I wasn't ready… I-I used a grounding… I'm not ready and h-he won't listen s-so I…. And he found out and…. I-I thought I was g-going to die." I broke down, hugging her as I cried, trembling now.

"Oh…. sweetie…" She hugged me protectively. "I'm sorry…. I'm so sorry…. Stay with me. Just stay here."

I kept crying, seeing his angry optics before me.

* * *

I onlined on carrier's couch, Hellfire sitting on top of me as he watched the vidscreen. I groaned, wings twitching. Then grunted when that slagger started to bounce.

"Get up, Starscream! Play with me!" He shouted, jumping and tugging at my wing.

"Mmmmm, slagging hellion…" I moaned, slowly sitting up. "What you want from me?"

He hugged me, his wings fluttering. I had to hug him back. Can't deny your little sibling a hug when they're being sweet to you.

"Play with me?" He asked, grabbing my face so I would look at him.

"Alright…. What are we playing?" I asked tiredly, but not willing to upset my little brother.

"Catch me!" He exclaimed before hopping off my lap and running to the door. I got up and followed, walking. I wasn't about to run after a youngling… He ran out the door and down the hallway. I gave chase, passing all the familiar guards at their stations. Hellfire kept running, giggling and squealing whenever I neared. He turned a corner and I followed, quickly stopping. My wings raised, then lowered, taking a step back.

"Hey… sire." I greeted quietly, not really in the mood to see him.

He stood there wearing his royal garb, the shoulder guards, cape, crown, everything. He looked as stunning as ever. Commanding, in complete control, and rich. His trinemates were in formation behind him, looking grumpy as they always did.

"Starscream?" Sire raised an optical ridge at me. "I was not aware of your arrival."

"Apologies, sire… I came last night to see carrier and… Just spent the night." I said quickly, not making optic contact. I didn't want him to see the fear and pain in my optics.

He faintly smiled. "Good to see my son again." He then stepped forward and embraced me in a firm hug. "Looking healthy. That's good. How is your trine treating you?"

"Fine…" I said softly, hugging him back. "Some slag going on but… we'll work it out."

"Need me for anything?"

"No… No, I got this." I didn't want to tell him what was really happening. He was extremely traditional. He would side with Thundercracker and tell me I needed a flogging. I didn't need to hear that from my sire.

He pulled back enough to look me in the optics. I looked up at him when he lifted my chin, studying me. I had almost forgotten how massive he was. Thundercracker was shorter than him. And Thunder is a very large Seeker.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently, seeing the pain in my optics. "You can tell me. I'm your sire."

"It's fine… Everything is fine." I looked down, wishing he would leave me be.

He exhaled heavily before kissing me on the cheekplates. He hugged me again before releasing me. "Let me know if you need anything, Starscream. I'm your sire first, Alpha second."

"Yes, sir." I slowly nodded. "I will."

"Hellfire ran to Silverwing's quarters."

"Thanks." I nodded to him before beginning to pass him. "Hey, Uncle Turbine… Uncle Flare." I gave them a small wave.

"Hey, sweetspark." Uncle Flare smiled at me.

Uncle Turbine ignored me. I'm pretty sure something was dead in his exhaust port. Maybe sparklings he strangled….

I quickly left the Elite Trine and went searching for my full brother.

* * *

That evening I was on the couch in my carrier's room, just talking to her. Streamline was recharging on the berth with Hellfire. The little aft brother of mine tired himself out and passed out on the berth with our sister.

"I told him not to do it, but your sire never listens." Carrier complained.

"It's sire. He only listens to himself." I grunted.

"I know… Well, because he won't listen to me he ended up falling and hit his helm on the wall. And ever since then he has stopped trying to get overly romantic in the shower."

"Sire is the reason I'm clumsy myself sometimes."

She smiled. "He's something… He's going to give me a break, now. Figured all the sparklings I've had I could use one."

"How long?"

"He said a vorn, but I'm giving it twenty stellar cycles. He loves breeding me."

"He needs to cut back with all the sparklings…. I'm losing track of my siblings."

"I know… I lose track too. He doesn't. I don't know how he does it. His memory banks are a lot better than mine."

"He's more of a drone."

She giggled. "A drone that loves to hump everything."

"My trineleader is the same way. Constantly demanding interface from me and Warp. He's horny all the time. He's always-"

The door hissed open and sire entered, his wings raised. "Hello, sexy." He greeted my carrier. "Starscream, you have someone here wanting to see you."

My spark dropped. Thundercracker entered the room, not looking pleased at all. He gave me those optics that promised pain and suffering, a scowl on his faceplates.

"Thundercracker says you ran away." Sire continued, his arms crossed as he gave me a look of disappointment, anger, and annoyance. "And that you are denying him interface, refusing to bear his creations, disobeying him, and claiming he's 'raping' you. That's a lot of slag from a bottom submissive. And as my son you should know better than to disobey your trineleader."

I swallowed. "I-I-"

"Where have you been all this time!?" Thundercracker suddenly roared.

I shrunk back, terrified. "I-I j-just came to s-see my c-carrier!" I blurted out quickly, trembling now.

"You ran away!" He was instantly upon me, grasping my neck.

"No! I-I didn't!" I exclaimed, optics wide, positive I would die as I grabbed his wrist.

"You are _not_ to leave without first getting my permission. You disobey me, run away, lie to me, worry me because you didn't tell me you had left or where you had gone, and now you _continue_ to lie to me!"

"I didn't! I swear, I only wanted-!"

He threw me to the floor, hurting my wing. I yelped, then quickly scooted away. He grasped my arm and yanked me up, then shoved me over the arm of the couch. I knew what was coming. Being punished was bad enough, but to be punished in front of my creators and two of my siblings… The humiliation of it… I wanted to die.

"Stay put. If you try to get up I will tie you down and flog you." My trineleader growled, venom in his vocalizer.

I was trembling, lying over the arm of the couch was so much worse. I had only ever lied on the berth when punished before. It was so much different when you were flat on your front verses lying so that the couch's arm lifted your aft into the air, exposing it for all to have an easy target. It felt more submissive, more humiliating, more helpless.

I looked up, seeing my worried carrier, who also looked like she wanted to attack Thundercracker, but knew this had to be done. I messed up. I _needed_ to be punished. It would be wrong of my trineleader to let me go unpunished, because then I would only disobey again and make things worse. No, I had asked for this, it would be done, and I had no choice in the matter. He was my trineleader, he controlled every aspect of my life, and it was his duty to punish me when I required it. I would need to be thankful for this pain about to be brutally dealt to my person. It was for the best.

My sire was angry at me for being such a terrible trinemate. An awful submissive. He was already upset at me for not being a trineleader, but if he had to have creations that were submissives, they better be the best behaved submissives ever and obey their trineleaders, bear sparklings for their trineleaders, and take their punishments like a Seeker.

I never took my punishments like a Seeker. They fragging hurt and I wasn't about to hide the suffering I was going through because of some old grouches saying it was "weakness." I was in too much pain to even think about not crying. It was complete, utter hell and everyone would know about it.

I grasped the couch before me, wings low, trembling so hard as I listened to Thundercracker unsubspace the metal cable. I tried to relax my body, calm it so that I would struggle less, but it wouldn't happen.

Thundercracker swung his arm and the first lash whipped across my aft hard, leaving the most cruel of stings behind. I screamed, clawing at the couch as I kicked my legs. I managed to stay in position, forcing myself to as the other lashes came raining down. He was absolutely furious and the strikes reminded me of that. I was screaming, crying, bawling my optics out after only three lashes, but they kept coming.

I heard Hellfire screaming for Thundercracker to "leave my brother alone, you aft," but sire forced him outside and shut the door.

The blows kept coming, I kept screaming and bawling helplessly. It was almost three kliks until he finally stopped, giving me probably over four hundred lashes on my aft and thighs. I stayed where I was, crying into my servos, too scared to move. He yanked me up, forcing me to stand.

"Get back to the apartment and go into your room. I'll be right there." Thundercracker ordered harshly.

I nodded, unable to talk, my vocalizer sore from my screaming. I didn't dare look at sire, but I glanced at carrier. She had coolant leaking from her optics.

I walked out the door with my trineleader, transformed, and flew. We returned to our apartment, I obediently went into my room, and waited for him to close the door behind us.

"Lean over the berth and remove your codpiece." He ordered, removing his own codpiece and stroking his spike to harden it.

I silently did so, resting my servos on the berthtop as I removed my codpiece. He was soon in me, a servo grasping my nape and slamming my upper body onto the berthtop. I whimpered as I was dominating, yelping as he harshly bit my nape and cruelly bent my wingtips.

I stayed submissive, crying as he hurt me, reminded me who was in charge, and that I had no free will. He just granted me the freedoms he chose to grant. And I had to be thankful for whatever he gave me, and didn't give me.

He dominated me for nearly a breem before pulling out. I quickly crawled onto the berth, curled into a corner, and cried.

"Maybe if you weren't a brat this wouldn't happen." He grunted before stomping out of the room.

I just lied there, crying until I couldn't cry anymore. I soon found myself listening in the dark to what my trinemates were doing in the other room. Heard them interface, talk some, then go to recharge.

I fell into recharge soon afterwards, exhausted from my punishment and dominating.

* * *

I onlined the next orbital cycle to Skywarp kissing me on the lip plates. I didn't react, didn't look at him. He kept kissing me, wings fluttering playfully. He soon was kissing my neck cables, which elicited a small giggle from me. He smiled when he heard that, and kept going. I tried pushing him away, but he only lowered a servo and tickled my abdominal plating. I squealed, laughing as I tried fighting him, but he kept at it. Loving on me best he could knowing I felt miserable.

"I love you." He lovingly whispered.

"Love you more." I said softly back.

He roughly kissed me on the lip plates before hopping on my berth and pushing me onto my back. He then forced my legs apart and got between them.

"Sky, please… I-I was dominated yesterday a-and beaten. It hurts." I said weakly, not needing any interface.

"I know. I'm not spiking you." He got over me and kissed me on the lip plates. "Don't tell anyone, promise?"

I eyed him, then nodded. "Promise."

He tapped my codpiece and I opened for him. He studied my valve, clearly not in the best shape after what Thundercracker did to it. Gently, lovingly, perfectly… He lowered his helm and licked me. My optics widened, never having felt this kind of love before. Dominant Seekers never give oral. That is what submissives do to their dominants. But he didn't care. He loved me more than those rules.

"Oh, Primus..!" I gasped as he kept going, his glossa entering my sore valve. My optics offlined, a servo grasping the back of his helm as the other gripped a cushion. I lolled my helm back, mouth open as I panted. I arched my back strut, thruster heels scraping against the berthtop, moaning as his glossa wriggled inside of me. Going in and out of me slowly. Circling around in there. Lapping around my valve, and pushing against the primary outer sensory node, sending waves of pure bliss into my now over heating frame.

His servos released electrical currents into my thighs, massaging them, holding them apart. I was a mess, moaning, writhing, scraping my peds, clawing, unable to shut up. It was amazing. I hadn't felt this kind of pleasure in so long.

The best part was it didn't make me think of Brakelight, unlike most of the times I was spiked.

He kept going until I finally overloaded, the pain from my punishment mixed with that pleasure sending the most fulfilling sensation throughout my frame. I trembled from it, panting heavily.

Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates, forcing me to taste myself. I tasted weird…

"Like that?" He smirked, gazing down at me.

I just stupidly smiled as I nodded. "Yes… Wow… More of that."

He giggled, then nuzzled his olfactory sensor against mine. "Later." He kissed me again. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

"Let's get you some energon, gorgeous."

* * *

I sat on the couch cuddled against Skywarp when Thundercracker came home. I didn't look up, just held Warp tighter, swallowing. He stroked my backplates, reassuring me that nothing would happen.

"Hey, big guy." Skywarp smiled up at our trineleader when he stopped behind the couch.

"Hey, shortstuffs." He grunted, leaning over and kissing Skywarp on the lip plates.

He poked the top of my helm, making me look up so he could give me a quick kiss on my lip plates. I shrunk back from him, trying to burry myself into Skywarp's protective embrace.

"Skywarp, come to my room. I need to talk to you."

"Uh, sure, TC." He said before letting me go.

I sat up, allowing him to get up and walk away with Thundercracker. I sat there, not paying attention to the TV, instead looking down at my peds. I stayed there for a klik before getting up and going towards my room. I stopped as I past the door to Thundercracker's room, my wings perking as I listened.

"He's just scared." Skywarp's vocalizer said.

"He's being a brat. Running from me, using groundings… I'm going to spark him and he better stop fighting me."

"I don't think I'll be able to convince him…"

"I'm going to spark him whether he's willing or not. You just need to try and get him to stop being a sparkling about this. Us having a creation is a _good_ thing."

"I can try… When are you gonna start up on sparking him?"

"First thing in the morning. And if he fights me I'm just going to flog him. I've had it with this."

"Okay... I'll try."

I walked away, unable to handle hearing anymore. I went to my room, grabbed some of my datapads, opened my window, leaped out, and transformed. I flew off into the darkening sky, going to someone I knew who would protect me. I couldn't go back to carrier. Sire had promised Thundercracker he would report my presence to him so Thundercracker would know if I snuck out or not. No, there were others I could trust.

Physical punishment never taught one anything, only fear. I didn't learn that running away was bad, or disobeying my trineleader was wrong. I only learned that they got pissed and hurt me. Beating someone never taught them, and it certainly didn't teach me. I knew what I was doing would get me punished, but I didn't see it as a bad thing. Just simply as the thing Thundercracker didn't want me to do. And this wouldn't be the last time I ran away from him.

I transformed and landed on a balcony, then knocked on the door. It wasn't long before it hissed open.

"What's wrong? Why are you here so late?" Nacreous asked, one of his daughters on his hip.

"I just… Need a break from my trine. May I stay?" I inquired.

"Of course. You're my little brother." He stepped aside for me.

I walked in, seeing his trinemates and other creations hanging out in the living room. Nacreous had two femmes as trinemates, Maelstrom and Stardust. He had four creations at this time, three daughters and a son. He would eventually have twenty creations.

"Hey, wanna say hi to your uncle Starscream?" He smiled at the daughter he held.

Skylight reached out for me and I took her, hugging her close. I love all of my nieces and nephews. I literally had over five hundred at this time, but soon I would have nearly two thousand. But, us creations of Skycutter's… We had our own way of handling the family. Basically, full siblings were like your immediate family and half siblings and their families felt more… like a distant family. We just stayed closest to the full siblings, our carriers keeping us together. I knew the designations of all of my siblings, all over two hundred of them.. Knew something about each, but I was closest to my full siblings and felt like they were my actual siblings. The half siblings felt more like cousins. I knew all the designations of my nieces and nephews from my full siblings, but only a few from my half siblings.

Everyone seemed to be like this. It was just hard keeping up with the entire family. Sire of course had magical powers and could do it, but I, a mere simple, humble Seeker, could not.

"Hey, Maelstrom, Stardust." I greeted his trinemates.

"Hey, Starscream." Maelstrom smiled. She was an absolutely gorgeous femme. Perfection was her frame. But, she would eventually end up causing my brother a lot of problems. So much so he would end up publically flogging her. The problem being? She would get a circuit booster addiction, almost kill one of his creations, and run off at night to get laid by grounders. During the time, I couldn't understand why she would just… snap like she did. But, eventually I would understand because I would suffer through something similar.

"Make yourself at home, Stars. The little ones were just about to go to recharge." Nacreous said as he took his daughter back.

"Alright, thanks." I nodded.

I sat on the couch and watched the femmes take their creations off the berth. Eventually, I found myself in the awkward position of watching my brother frag his trinemates. It was one thing to see your creators frag, like, obviously they had to to create you and you grow up seeing them do it, but… My brother…? The one I grew up with? I remember when he was still growing his spike out… But I'm sure it was more awkward for him seeing his sparkling brother getting fragged since he helped raise me from birth…

Either way, I wasn't too comfortable seeing his "gearstick" being handled by Stardust or it go inside of the both of them. And those femmes were so fragging loud…. One would think cybercats were mating. The wailing, the moaning, the exaggeration… I'm loud, but I'm not as bad as them!

I recharged on his couch that night, hearing them resume their fragging first thing in the morning. Nacreous was traditional, so when he wanted to frag, his trinemates had no choice. Just like me.

"You online?"

I looked up at him. "Obviously, with all that ruckus you three make…" I grunted, wishing I could go back to recharge.

"You'll live. Want something to drink?"

"Mmmm…" I stretched out my joints before holding my arms out to him. "Hug."

He rolled his optics before hugging me. "You're so weird."

"I'm awesome."

"You are."

I released him before sitting up. "Get me sustenance."

"Demanding, aren't we?"

"You're my big bro. Take care of me!" I smiled up at him, my wings fluttering.

"I will. Come on." He grasped my servo and pulled me up to my peds.

I followed him to the other room to get some energon, then helped his trinemates bathe the sparklings and clean up around the apartment. Nacreous left for his work, not in charge of doing the housework or caring for his creations. That was for the submissives to do. He just provided for the trine and protected them. And of course fragged his submissives. Trineleaders didn't need to do anything else.

I stayed all orbital cycle, helping Maelstrom and Stardust with cleaning and taking care of the sparklings. I had a good time talking to them and being around those who knew my pain. We did talk some about being forced to carry, and it helped knowing I wasn't the only one beaten for refusing and raped. Well, I wasn't raped since apparently trineleaders can't rape. But at this time I didn't know that. I thought I had no choice and rape simply didn't exist between a trineleader and their submissives. I was forced into interface against my will because I was an ungrateful brat. That's what it was. And I just had to grow up and appreciate that my trineleader put up with my immature attitude.

Nacreous returned that evening, played with his creations, talked with me and his submissives about stuff, then took his femmes to their berthroom to frag them. I lied on the couch, listening to them, unable to fall into recharge. I knew Maelstrom didn't want it. She had told me earlier that she was tired of the interface because she no longer felt like it was done out of love, just lust and the desire to have sparklings. I had seen her crying as she held her youngest, dreading when she would be sparked again.

But I couldn't do anything about it. It was Nacreous' trine, his rules, and he owned those two femmes. I was just another submissive to another traditional trineleader. I had no voice.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I helped the femmes after Nacreous had left. It seemed like it would just be like yesterday, but Nacreous got home early. I knew something was up because Maelstrom and Stardust were very confused about his early arrival.

"Did something happen?" Stardust inquired as she hugged him.

"No, just came home early." He kissed her as his servos groped her aft.

I sat by Maelstrom, watching the sparklings play. Nacreous continued just talking to Stardust until there was a knock on the door. He kissed her, then walked over to open the door. My wings perked, getting anxious. He then opened the door.

"I got a call from sire, Starscream. You ran away from your trineleader. So, I called him." He flared his wings at me as Thundercracker walked in.

I felt my spark drop, my optics widening.

"And you are in a slagheap of trouble." Thundercracker snapped as he stomped over to me.

"I-I-I-I-" I stuttered, unable to speak as I shook.

He grasped my arm and yanked me to my peds. "March your aft outside." He growled, pulling me along.

I followed, shooting a betrayed, hurt look at my brother before being led outside. I yelped when Thundercracker smacked my aft with his servo, jumping back from him.

"Transform and get back to the apartment." He ordered, the promise of death in his optics.

I knew what was coming. Coolant filled my optics as I transformed and took off, my trineleader right behind me. He pressed his undercarriage against the top of me, making sure I stayed en route. I transformed and landed on the balcony, Thunder doing the same before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside. He led me straight to his room and locked the door behind us.

I was trembling so hard, already sobbing as he pushed me onto the berth. He grabbed manacles and put them on my wrists before chaining them to the berthhead. My optics widened, never having been chained before. He them tied my ankles to the end of the berth, stretching me out. My wings rattled against my back, knowing that this would be a very severe beating.

"P-please!" I begged between pitiful sobs, trying to look back at him. My optics widened when I saw him approach with an energon whip. "Thunder please! Don't use that!"

"Beating you with a cable didn't work, so instead you're getting a flogging. Maybe next time you'll not run away like a little sparkling." His venomous vocalizer growled.

"Please! Please, don't!" I cried, shaking, absolutely terrified.

He lashed me across the lower back and I screamed, pulling at my restraints. The burning pain was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. It was beyond hell, and far worse than the cable. And the cable _was_ hell.

More lashes followed, striking my backplates, wings, aft, and thighs. I shrieked from each lash, struggling to get away like a frantic beast. In a way, I liked being chained because I didn't have to try and concentrate on holding still or risk more punishment. But, I was chained and unable to escape which also made it awful.

He kept whipping me, I kept screaming and crying, my vocalizer soon only static. I was flogged for maybe a klik before he grabbed the cable and used it to beat my aft for another klik. It hurt more than an usual aft beating because my aft was already torn up from the flogging.

When he was finally done with me he untied me. I was just bawling, unable to speak, hyperventilating from the shock of the beating. I tried getting away, but he grabbed me and pulled me close to him. He hugged me, calming me down as he kissed me.

"It's over. Your punishment is over." He said softly, gently stroking my aft to sooth it.

I cried, clinging to him for comfort. He sat down and placed me on his lap, hugging me protectively. I bawled into his neck, trembling, unable to do anything else. I cried until everything was burnt out of me, then I just leaned against him, curled into his chassis.

He eventually stood up and carried me to my room where he placed me on the berth and walked out. I renewed my crying, reminding myself how much he hated me and enjoyed harming me. I lied on my side, my back pressed against the wall, assuring myself that he couldn't hit my aft as long as the wall protected it.

As I cried and felt sorry for myself, Skywarp entered my room. He kissed me, engine purring as he tried to comfort me. I reached up for him, needing a hug from my trinemate, to which he accepted and embraced me.

"Shhh, it's okay, Scree." He reassured me before gently easing me onto my front. "Let me clean you off."

I softly sobbed as he wiped off my backside with a damp cloth, cleaning the dried energon. He then took a welder from the first aid kit and repaired the worse of the whip marks. Once he was done he let me lie on my side again and lied down next to me. He nuzzled my olfactory sensor with his, wings fluttering as he kissed me.

"I love you." He whispered.

It took me a moment. I swallowed to help remove the lump in my throat before my static filled vocalizer could speak. "L-love you, too…"

He kept kissing me, being as affectionate as he could without causing my backside more pain. "You should get some rest."

I didn't speak immediately. "I can't do this…" I whispered.

His wings lowered. "Can't do what, love?"

"I-I can't have a sparkling. I-I can't…"

"Why not?"

I swallowed. "I-I just… Why can't my dream come true? Why can't I do what I want as well?"

"Thunder is the trineleader, Scree. you know he makes the rules for us. We just obey." He reminded me gently.

"I know… I just… This is something I've wanted since I was a youngling… Why must my dreams and passions b-be thrown away all because he doesn't want me to do it?"

"I don't think he doesn't want you too… We're Seekers… No one wants us going to science academies or anything."

"But what if I am able to get in? We don't know unless I try."

He was silent a moment before speaking. "Have you tried making a deal with him?"

"Deal?"

"You know… You have your dream but he still gets his sparkling. A compromise."

"You think he would agree?"

Skywarp shrugged. "Don't know if you don't try."

I slowly nodded.

He kissed me. "Rest, Starscream. I'll stay right with you. Promise."

"Thanks, Sky." I cuddled into his chassis.

"No need to thank me, Scree." He kissed me, holding me close to him.

* * *

I onlined the next orbital cycle without Skywarp. I just stayed in my berth all orbital cycle thinking and recharging. I didn't feel like reading or getting up.

That evening, I heard Thundercracker come home and Skywarp greeting him. He soon came into my room and got in berth with me. He grasped me and yanked me onto all fours, turning my aft to him. I quickly jerked myself away and sat down, but he grabbed me again. I pulled myself away and scooted back.

"Wait!" I shouted, wings drooping.

"I'm sparking you. Get over here." He snapped.

"Please… C-can we make a deal?"

His wings perked some. "A deal? How about this deal. If you keep fighting me I will beat you every single orbital cycle until you're sparked. Sound good?"

I swallowed. "No, sir. I… I-I want to make a deal that we both c-can get what we want."

"Such as?" He raised an optical ridge.

I was trembling slightly. "I just want to go to the science academy. Th-that's all. It's my dream. And… I-I know you said I probably won't get in, but we don't know unless we try. I just… Can we try? That's all I sk. Let me try to get in and if I do, please let me attend it. If not…. Then at least I tried. And… If you let me do this… I will submit fully to you. I won't run away, I won't fight you, I won't use groundings, I won't act up in any way. I will submit a-and let you spark me, a-and we'll have a sparkling. Just… _please_ , Thundercracker… Please let me try. Please let me attend. That's all I ask for…"

He vented a sigh. "Starscream…. Even if I let you attend the Science Academy, _if_ you get in… We don't have the finances for that."

"I'll ask sire a-and take out a loan."

"How can we pay back a loan?"

"I'll get a job. Once I graduate I'll get a good job and pay it all back myself."

"You want to have a job while taking care of sparklings?"

"Other frametypes do it. Please, Thunder…" I clasped my servos together as I gave him a pleading look.

He was silent a moment before speaking. "Let me think about it, Starscream. It's a lot to consider."

"But, you will consider it, right?"

"Yes. Yes, I will."

I smiled before hugging him. "Thanks, Thunder. You're the best." I then kissed him on the lip plates.

"Mhmm." He pecked a kiss back.

I snuggled against him for a moment before releasing him. I turned around, got on all fours, and opened my codpiece for him. He got on his knees, removed his own codpiece, and soon was inside of me. I gasped and moaned as he fragged me, but despite the pain from my beating still lingering, I felt happy. Maybe he would let me apply for academy, and even if I had to raise a sparkling while attending, at least I would be attending.

I moaned loudly and fluttered my wings as he humped harder, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist. He nipped my nape, reminding me that I belonged to him. I pushed back against him and fluttered my wings, showing that I was happy to be his. He kissed my shoulder, then concentrated on just thrusting into me. I looked ahead, excited for what would come.

* * *

Thundercracker fragged both of us in the morning before he left for work. We both had earned a smack on the aft from his servo for telling him he had to get us engex first. Maybe next time he would be in a better mood for jokes. After he had left, Skywarp and I ran onto the balcony to love on each other in the warmth of the sunrise. Nothing like leaning over the balcony hundreds of stories off the ground as your best friend and lover shows how much he cares for you.

After we got our lust for each other out of our systems we transformed and flew around playing tag. As long as we stayed close to the apartment tower Thundercracker wouldn't get mad. Going too far was a "discussion" with the cable across our sorry afts. We could only go far away if we got his permission first.

When we were too tired to fly anymore, we went back inside, refueled, and cuddled on the couch watching TV. I was feeling so much better knowing that Thundercracker was thinking about letting me go to the Science Academy and having fun with Skywarp. Even though he sometimes still felt jealous with how Thunder favored me in some things, when he wasn't thinking about those things he was the most loving, playful, and awesome trinemate ever. I honestly don't know what I would have done if he wasn't around. I certainly couldn't handle Thundercracker on my own, and I don't know how he did it for stellar cycles before I came around.

I eventually got bored of the TV and started to clean around the apartment. Skywarp was quite messy, and Thundercracker never cleaned after himself. It wasn't his job to do so. I was cleaning for a couple of joors when the balcony door opened and Thundercracker entered.

"I'm home!" He called out.

I ran over to him and hugged him, wings fluttering. His strong arms embraced me and he kissed me lovingly on the helm. Skywarp was soon hugging Thunder as well, our trineleader holding us possessively. I squeaked when he squeezed my aft, and Skywarp giggled as his was groped as well.

"How are my femmes?" Thundercracker asked.

"Good." I answered with a smile.

"Great." Skywarp replied as he dared to grope Thunder's aft.

"Soon." Thundercracker kissed Skywarp on the lip plates. "I need to talk to Starscream about something."

"What?"

"Just between him and me for now."

"Okay…" Skywarp's wings lowered some before he teleported.

I looked up at the large Seeker, my wings perking, hoping that he would tell me something I actually wanted to hear. He kissed me on the lip plates, his servos holding my hips firmly.

"You're beautiful." He whispered between kisses.

I didn't speak immediately. "Have you thought about my proposition?"

"I have." He then began to trail kisses down my neck cables.

"And?" I swallowed, wishing for once he would think about me above my shoulders.

"And… I talked about it with my carrier. And she said quite a few things that got me thinking." He finally looked me in the optics.

I looked up at him, being reminded just how short I was. I'm such a tiny Seeker… I gave him my best hopeful and pleading optics, not daring to move as my optics locked on his.

He studied me for a moment before pressing his brow against mine, offlining his optics, savoring my presence. I offlined my own optics, lip plates parted, not sure what his next move would be.

"I love you, Starscream. And a good trineleader keeps their trinemates happy. It strengthens the bond. Makes us a better trine. So… I will allow you to apply, _if_ you can find a way to pay for it without depending on just loans."

My optics widened, then I smiled broadly before hugging him. "Thank you! Primus… Thank you, TC. You're the _best_ trineleader _ever_!" I squealed, my wings fluttering like mad.

He kissed me, smirking as he hugged me back. "I know I am. But you have your end to keep to."

"I will, sir. Once I'm enrolled my frame is yours. Completely. No resistance. And I'll be the best carrier for our creation. Promise."

"I know you will. You will be a wonderful carrier." He kissed me. "I can't wait until we have a little one of our own."

"Coming from you they won't be so little." I smiled.

He kissed me on the lip plates. "You're going to make them short. You're not much bigger than my servo."

I giggled and hugged him. I paused before looking up at him. "Hey, question?"

"Mmm?"

"Can we… do something else for interface tonight?"

"Such as?"

"I want to be taken in the sky. Facing you."

He grinned. "Yes, we can do that."

My wings fluttered. "Thanks, TC. I love you."

"Love you, more." He gave my aft a gentle pat. "Go grab Skywarp. I'm taking my femmes for a flight."

* * *

The first step for getting into the academy was solving my Shanix issue. Severe lack of it. I of course went to sire-dearest first. On the upside, I found out what sire's laugh sounds like when he's very amused. On the downside, he laughed at me in front of everyone… I begged, I pleaded, I tried to persuade, but he would hear none of it. That was until carrier walked over and… Well, she convinced sire with her body. That's all I will say on the matter because I'm still traumatized by what I witnessed. But he liked it, he caved in, and he promised to pay for half of it.

After burning my optics out with a torch and screaming myself insane from what I had seen (I didn't actually, but instead hid in my room and needed Skywarp to treat me for shock), I worked on getting financial aid. I had been an exceptional student in high school, with perfect grades and behavior, so my high GPA and outstanding academic career certainly would give me what I needed.

The problem was I was a Seeker.

So, I looped around the problem. Instead of putting on my application I was a Seeker I simply wrote that my frametype was a fighter jet. I didn't lie. Just wasn't very specific that the fighter jet was a tetra jet. And even though my sire could pay for all of my loans, I simply stated he could only do half.

Now, to get around the other fine details of my name and them being able to identify me, sire told me of this hacker who could basically give me a new identity online so when they looked me up my records said I was a fighter jet from a middle class family and not a Seeker from royalty.

This hacker was a Seeker designated Bitstream. He was very odd… He helped me finish my application and submitted it, then I waited.

It was a decacycle later when I received the news if I would be getting financial aid to pay for the other half of my tuition or not.

I onlined my computer and got onto my Email. Looking through everything I saw the message from financial aid. I swallowed, opened it, and read with baited intakes.

They accepted. They would pay.

I think all of Vos heard my shouts for joy as I ran out of my room and tackled Skywarp on the couch, shrieking like a lunatic that I was going to school, and slapping my crazily flapping wings against everything. He had to teleport to get away from me.

"I'm home!" Thundercracker called when he got home later that orbital cycle.

"I'm going to academy!" I screamed as I tackled him in a hug, almost making him fall over. "EEEEEEEEEE! I'M SO FRAGGING HAPPY! THANK YOU!"

"You're enrolled?" He asked.

"No, financial aid accepted me! Now I can apply!"

"What if they don't accept you?"

"They'll accept me." I snuggled against him. "You'll see."

* * *

A few orbital cycles later Thundercracker took us to Iacon. I was bouncing on my thruster heels whenever they were on the ground. It may not have been exactly formal, but I held Thundercracker's servo the entire time that I could. If I didn't I might have run off into a wall or something from how exuberant I was. I don't know how many times he had to tell me to calm down. One point he did give me several hard smacks on the aft with his servo to get me to stop talking so much. I was quiet for maybe a breem before I started back up again, which then earned me a few more smacks. This continued a few times before he just gave up and let me be excited. My aft didn't appreciate it, but I was just so happy to be in Iacon on my way to the Science Academy.

We arrived on campus, got lost, but then found the registration office. We received many disdained glances, but they allowed me to still fill out a form and told me where to go to speak to a counselor.

I was trembling from excitement, and when in the waiting room I had to sit on Thundercracker's lap so he could hold me down. I got a firm threat that if I didn't calm down he would use the cable on my aft right there in the waiting room in front of everyone, and that got me to behave.

I hugged him as I waited, trying to distract myself by counting all the floor tiles, the ceiling tiles, wall tiles, multiplying their sum, divide it by an odd number, then ask Skywarp to try to guess the number I was thinking off. I somehow ended up annoying Skywarp too much with random questions and so Thundercracker took me out of the room, lectured me that I was acting like a sparkling that wouldn't hold still, and gave me five lashes with the cable.

I was the perfect trinemate after that. I stayed on my chair, didn't move, and waited as patiently as I could. Skywarp appreciated me getting what was coming to me. He could go back to playing his game on his datapad as I rubbed my sore aft in embarrassment.

I was so thankful when I was finally called and went to one of the cubicles with my trinemates behind me. I sat down, excited to talk to my counselor. He was a grounder and gave me a very confused look.

"May I help you?" He asked slowly.

I nodded. "Yes, I'm enrolling and they said I needed to speak to a counselor about the entry exam and CLEP tests. And he said I would need a catalog and to select my major." I explained, smiling like an idiot.

"I see…" He made a sound to clear his vocalizer. "And you were… accepted…?"

"Not yet, but I have a high GPA, outstanding academic performance, I took some academy level courses already in high school as dual credits, and I graduated with highest honors on the top of my class." I handed him my files, transcript, information, financial aid documents, and a copy of my diploma. "Everything is here."

He gave me a look then began to look through my documents. I waited, still trembling some with excitement. Thundercracker gently stroked one of my wings to remind me that I needed to behave. He would bend me over that table and give me aft a nasty beating without hesitation if I misbehaved. So, I kept my still sore aft still and behaved.

"Hmm, well, everything appears to be in order and your record is… impressive." He said, making me smile wider. "And you believe you will be accepted…?"

"I don't see why not. I-I'm great in school, I work hard, I love doing school science is a passion of mine, a-and I'm ready for whatever I must do to pass my courses."

"I see one problem."

"Sir?" I perked my wings, concerned that maybe I missed a step in my application.

"You're a Seeker. I doubt the president would want a serial killer attending his school."

And that's when my trineleader went from zero to a billion.

"What the hell did you just say to him!?" Thundercracker snapped, pushing the chair with me still on it aside and leaning over the desk, his faceplates suddenly in the counselor's. That grounder let everything out of his waste tank, I just knew it from the look on his faceplates.

"I-I said th-that-" He stuttered.

Death was in Thundercracker's optics. "Starscream is _not_ a serial killer! He is the kindest, gentlest mech you will _ever_ have the privilege of meeting. And he has everything it takes to be in this academy. It probably will be too damn easy for him, anyway. He's smarter than all of you deplorable grounders put together. He will only bring _pride_ and _honor_ to this academy!"

"I-I didn't mean-!"

"Speak to him like that ever again and I'll tear your limbs off and sodomize you with your own helm." He growled.

I had enough transfluid in my codpiece to drown sparklings. I was so turned on by my trineleader being so intimidating and fierce towards this miserable grounder. Primus, I needed him to just take me!

The grounder nodded his helm quickly, shaking in absolute fear. Thundercracker stood straight up, pushed my chair back in place, and resumed his position behind me. I fluttered my wings and smiled again.

"So… Where's my catalog?"

* * *

It was not easy at all… I worked, I pleaded, I begged, and Thundercracker threatened. It took my sire getting out of the palace and flying straight to the Iacon Science Academy to get them to let me in. Sire was so badaft. My carrier even more so for telling him to do it. But, I soon was registered and enrolled in several courses. I didn't take a full course load for my first semester, in order to get use to going to an academy and all the changes that would bring.

Thundercracker sold his apartment to one of his younger siblings and we found a nicer place in Iacon. We were able to afford a larger apartment because Thundercracker was transferred to operate security for the Senate in Iacon. He got paid a lot more, and I am beyond thankful his boss in Vos helped him get that position when he told him he had to move to Vos so that I could go to school.

The apartment was two levels with seven berthrooms. It had a tiny balcony and the main entrance was in the middle where you had to use stairs and an elevator. I was not use to such things. But, it was very nice, and I just needed to fly over the city to get to my campus, which wasn't difficult since I'm a Seeker and can fly very fast.

We were able to settle down for almost a decacycle before my first orbital cycle at academy. I was so excited. I packed my lunch, my datapads, kissed my trinemates goodbye, and set off for an adventure.

I felt nervous as I walked around my campus, everyone giving me harsh glares. I soon found my first class and took a seat in the back. I suddenly didn't feel like I would be the popular mech like I had been in high school. I set my datapad out to take notes and onlined the textpad to read what the first lesson would be on. It was chemistry 101. I was good at chemistry and knew I would do great, but with all the stares I got from my classmates, and how no one sat near me, I felt like maybe this was a bad idea.

The lecture went well, I wrote down everything, and went off to my next class. I was always in the back alone, silently taking notes and reading everything I could from the professors. I wanted to answer every question they asked, but I just felt like maybe it was better I stayed silent. I had always talked in my classes back when a youngling, but this just felt different.

I was so glad to be finished and back home with my brothers. I got home before Thundercracker, so spent my time telling Skywarp everything. By the time Thunder got home I was in my room doing homework.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiled as he walked into my room. "How was it?"

I faintly smiled up at him. "It was awesome minus how everyone looked at me like I was filth."

He flicked his wings. "Ignore the haters. If they give you too much trouble let me know and I'll kick their afts."

I fluttered my wings. "I know you will."

He kissed me. "What are you working on?"

"Chemistry."

"Ew."

I giggled. "It's fun."

"To you." He kissed me again. "You going to be working on that for a while?"

"Let me finish this page then I'll come find you." I smirked.

He smirked back. "I look forward to it." He kissed me again before walking out.

Once he was gone I vented a small sigh. He kept to his side of the deal, now it was time for me to do the same. I really didn't want to, but he had gone over and beyond to help me get this far with my dream. I owed it to him. He didn't need to do any of this but he had done it all and more.

I finished my homework for chemistry and left my room. I found him in his room organizing his things. He took forever to unpack. I went straight to him, engine purring and pushed my backside against his front. I pressed my aft against his codpiece and grinded it before giving a few backwards thrust into it. I grabbed his arms and made them wrap around my waist before opening my codpiece and chestplates, offering myself fully to him.

He kissed me on the cheekplates, his arms tightening around my waist. He removed his own codpiece and grinded his flaccid spike against me before it hardened, his lust growing. He connected his wires, penetrated me, held me close, and began to hump. I gasped softly, moaning with each thrust. I didn't fight, didn't complain, nothing. I would fulfill my part of the bargain. I would be his perfect trinemate.

* * *

It was a couple of decacycles into my semester where I made a new friend. I was still in contact with Gearshift, but, we didn't get to talk to much. He had a family now and was busy with his work, sparklings, and mate, and I was now busy with school. He was still a secret from my trinemates, so I couldn't talk to him whenever I wanted to, nor could I invite him over. But, we did our best to know what each other was up to in the grand scheme of things.

But, this new friend would change my life.

It was in calculus. I was sitting in the back as usual when this huge, white mech sat next to me. I perked my wings, not sure why anyone would want to be by me, the murderous Seeker.

"Hey," He greeted with a smile as he started to unsubspace his datapads. "So, you got the assignment done?"

I hesitated. "Yeah, last night." I answered softly.

"Number five was ridiculous. Did you get stuck on that one?"

"No, I… I had some trouble with nine, though."

"Heesh, nine was a nightmare, too. I hope we don't have anymore problems like that one."

I couldn't take it anymore. "Why are you here?"

"Hmm?" He gave me a puzzled look. "I'm in this class…?"

"No, no, here. Sitting next to me. A Seeker." I explained slowly.

"You've been sitting by yourself in this class and chemistry. Thought I would change that and keep you company."

I just gave him a look.

"I'm Skyfire, by the way." He held his servo out to me.

I hesitated, then shook it. "Starscream of Vos."

He smirked. "I'm from Vos, too."

My wings perked. "Really?"

"Mhmm. Southern quadrant right by the spaceports. You?"

I didn't reply right away. "The Alpha's Palace. I'm… I'm a prince of Vos."

He gave me a surprised look. "Really? Whoa, what is royalty doing in a place like this?"

"I want to be in a place like this. Vos doesn't have anything good."

"Agreed. So, when did you start here?"

"This is my first semester."

"This is my second. We're both freshmechs!"

I faintly smiled. "Yeah. And already wanting to get it done."

"Mhmm. But it's fun."

"It is. I love it so far."

He smiled, and I knew I would be seeing that smile for vorns to come.

* * *

I squealed and squirmed as Thundercracker kissed my neck cables, tickling me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him close, still giggling as he kept tickling me. He thrust into me firmly, but not too hard nor fast. Just taking it slow, but not entirely too gentle.

I still wasn't sparked and he was trying different methods with me. He didn't trust me and every orbital cycle would check to make sure I didn't have a grounding. That distrust hurt, but I had betrayed him by doing that.

Because we both were gone a lot his interface started to become more loving than just lust. I guess because he missed us more. But I was loving it. I was seeing Brakelight less when he fragged me, and could concentrate on just enjoying the love. And I was enjoying his spike so much more.

"I love you." He whispered in my audio receptor.

"I love you more." I panted back, still hugging him, feeling his powerful servos holding my shoulder and hip in place as he kept humping me.

He kissed me on the lip plates before softly panting in my faceplates. We had been loving on each other like this for a while now, working on overload five. Our chestplates were open and our sparks entangling in each other's unique energy.

He soon overloaded, filling me with his active nanites as we sparkbonded. The sparkbond was enough to send me over the edge and I overloaded with him. But, this sparkbond felt a little… different. Like it was slightly more powerful. Maybe from us actually both wanting the interface and enjoying it so much it felt more like love. More passionate. But I didn't think too much about it.

He kissed me after cooling off for a moment, panting heavily in my faceplates. I purred my engine, wings fluttering.

"I need to go to work." He kissed me again.

"But I want you to stay!" I wailed, giving him a very sad face.

"I wish." He kissed me once more, then pulled out. He stretched his joints as he got off the berth, then gave my aft a couple of loving pats. "I'll come back for that tonight."

"Mhmm!" I got up, closing my plates and giving my wings a shake to rid off excess energy.

He wiped himself clean, kissed me, and then left. I sat down and dried myself off, then lied down on my berth, rolling around some. I had so much surplus energy in me from him that I needed some of it burnt off or to seep into the berth. It would be too hard to focus on my homework with it tingling all over.

I leaped off my berth, spin around on a thruster heel, then skipped to the washroom. I was soon joined by Skywarp, and we played around as we helped clean each other. Skywarp gave me several smacks on my aft with his servo before fragging me, claiming it would make my aft enjoy it more. I doubted it at the time, but would soon change opinions. He had obviously been watching porn before he came to the washroom. Thundercracker didn't like him watching porn, and gave him a severe aft beating when he caught him, but Skywarp was almost always doing it.

After we bonded and showered, I returned to my room with a glass of energon. I was about to sit down and start on school, but then I remembered how that last sparkbond felt… off. I tried reasoning with myself possible explanations, but finally picked up the scanner and removed my chestplates. I held it at arm's length and scanned. As my chestplates folded back over I read the results.

Positive.

I swallowed, suddenly my world was spinning around me. I took a couple of steps back before falling back on my berth. I quickly scanned myself again, but the result was the same.

There was a second spark with mine.

I placed a servo over my abdominal plates, right where my gestation tank was. I wasn't sure how to react. I was sparked. I was going to be a carrier.

Maybe the protoform wouldn't form or my spark would consume the little spark? Maybe the sparkling would just naturally go away and I wouldn't be sparked? Maybe…

It was too early to tell. Anything could happen at this point. I hid the scanner in a drawer and sat at my desk, trying to forget by doing school. But the nagging feeling wouldn't leave.

Joors past and I checked myself again, but the second spark was still there, feeding off my own as it grew. I rubbed over my faceplates, wishing that this could have waited until after I graduated.

I vented a sigh. I had to just accept it. We had a deal. And I belonged to my trineleader.

I got up and looked around for a box. At least I could make this exciting for my dominant.

* * *

"I'm home!" Thundercracker called as he walked into the apartment.

"Hugs!" Skywarp ran over and hugged him.

"Hey, sweetspark." Thunder hugged him back. "Mmm, missed you." He kissed him.

"Missed you more." He fluttered his wings.

I hesitated, then walked out of my room and over to them, holding a small box. I didn't say anything, just faintly smiled.

"What you got there?" Thundercracker inquired, wings perking as he released Skywarp.

"Just… something for you." I held the box up to him.

He eyed me, then took the box. "Is something going to jump out at me?"

"Maybe." I smiled broader.

He opened it, removed the towel I threw in to make it look somewhat like a gift, and pulled out the scanner. He seemed confused until he read what was on it.

I had never seen him like that before. I knew he was controlling his emotions. Trineleaders should never cry or act like sparklings. That was weak of them. But he looked like he wanted to cry tears of joy. He swallowed, then hugged me, holding me close.

"I'm so happy." He said softly, his wings fluttering.

"To be honest, I'm terrified." I said bluntly as I hugged him back.

"We'll be able to do this. Don't worry. You'll be an amazing carrier."

"And you'll be an amazing sire."

"Wait, he's sparked?" Skywarp dumbly asked.

I turned to him and nodded with a grin. "Yeah. He sparked me this morning." I patted my abdominal plating. "I'm going to be refueling for two for awhile."

Skywarp seemed excited and annoyed at once. He just hugged me and kissed me on the cheekplates. "I'm happy for you. This is going to be an adventure."

"Yeah, it will be." I said softly.

Thundercracker hugged us both. "This is a big step for us. An exciting, wonderful step. And I look forward to sparking the both of you many more times." He smirked, then kissed us both. "It's still early in the carrying. How about one last frag as a trine before Starscream has to be abstinent."

Skywarp nodded. "Sounds good."

I hesitated, then nodded. "But slow. I want it to be slow."

"I shall be." Thundercracker kissed me, his servo lowering over my abdominal plating.

I swallowed, terrified of being a carrier. But more than anything I wanted to cry. I didn't want this. Not like this. But he was my trineleader and I listened, submitted, and obeyed.

* * *

 **Woot! Another chapter up! I only one one class left to finish then this semester is OVER!**

 **Anyway, about this chapter. So, Starscream comments about not getting over the pain because he never will. Abuse you never get over. Some people claim they were hit as child and "I didn't turn out bad," but everyone is affected. They are changed, they simply don't realize how much because they've been lied to and made to believe these horrible things. So, Star will ALWAYS have this abuse left in him. Everyone does.**

 **All physical punishment does is create fear and trauma. It doesn't actually teach you anything. Hitting a child, dog, or any animal just makes them scared and traumatizes them. There is NOTHING positive about negative reinforcement, especially physical pain.**

 **The Elite Trine is the Alpha's trine, hence why Skycutter's trine is the Elite Trine.**

 **Financial aid is very important! But, they tend to only reward it to people who are dirt poor or abuse victims. Basically, you need to have no one helping you. But, it can be so stupid at times. I luckily got the Pell Grant and it's been very helpful.**

 **Thundercracker is a carrier mechling and therefore asks his carrier for advice!**

 **And TC actually is caring and kind. Him being traditional makes him believe he HAS to beat his trinemates and be strict. He diesn't realize there's another way around it.**

 **So, yeah, there's that! Hopefully I can get a lot written with my 6 weeks off from school before I have to start my LAST semester!**


	5. My Sparkling Arrives

**Chapter 5**

I waited for an orn before making my carrying public, just to ensure that the sparkling was indeed stable in me. Sometimes the sparks may be consumed by the carrier's spark or something not fully form in the first few orbital cycles after conception. But, my little sparkling was growing in me and I knew that this sparkling was happening unless there was a miscarriage.

Gearshift was excited for me and wanted to come meet my sparkling when they arrived. Carrier was not so thrilled, but I knew why.

"Hey, carrier." I said on the communicator as I called her.

::Hey, sweetie. How is everything?::

"Fine. School is alright. Not hard, but probably because I'm in the beginning classes. My friend on campus is pretty cool. He's been helping me."

::And your trinemates?::

"Skywarp is doing awesome. He's been mostly just playing his videogames when I'm doing homework. And Thunder has been in a good mood recently."

::And what about you?"

I paused. "So… Something happened with me."

::What?::

"I… Have a sparkling in me. Thunder finally managed to spark me."

Silence. Just silence for what felt like forever, but was only a few astroseconds. And when she spoke her cheer was completely vanished. ::I'm… sorry." She said in almost a whisper.

Her vocalizer and how it was said broke me. I nodded, knowing she couldn't see me as coolant began to leak from my optics. "Y-yeah…" I choked out. "I-I'm obeying my trineleader. L-like a good submissive."

She didn't speak immediately. ::I know… I am, too.::

* * *

I walked to my class and sat in my usual seat in the back. I hadn't been feeling bad with the carrying, only having two orbital cycles where my insides hurt, but this orbital cycle it was worse. And the saddest part was it would eventually be more severe throughout the carrying. I felt nauseous, but not extremely so.. Just like my fuel tank was upset from bad energon, and I was really tired.

Skyfire sat down beside me, smiling as he always did. "Morning, Starscream. How are you?"

"I think I'm going to die." I moaned, rubbing over my faceplates.

"Why's that? The test coming up?"

"No, something else…"

"Is everything alright?"

I bit my lower lip plate, but decided he might as well know since I would eventually be bringing a sparkling to class. "I'm sparked. The sparkling just is making me feel ill."

His optics widened some. "Sparked? Oh, congrats!" He smiled.

My wings only lowered. "Yeah…"

He gave me a puzzled look. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just…" I sighed. "I just wasn't ready…"

"What you mean?"

"My trineleader wanted to spark me now and I wanted to wait until after I graduated."

"Why didn't he wait?"

"He's the trineleader. I just submit and obey." I shrugged. "I'll live."

"That's not right, Starscream. If you wanted to wait he should have waited." He said a little firmer.

"Skies…. I know you don't get it, but the trineleader is in charge. His word is law. He wanted to spark me so he did. I can't do anything about it."

"He didn't' hurt you, did he?"

"We're changing the subject." I snapped, my wings flicking. "What did you get for eight?"

Skyfire just studied me before focusing back on school, but I could tell he wanted to press more.

* * *

I lied on my back, not feeling like doing homework or cleaning. Just… Feeling lethargic from the sparkling feeding off me. Thundercracker had gotten the necessary additives for me, but they just made drinking my energon weird… I tried just chewing on sheets of metal to get the necessary metal in me for the protoform, but then I felt bored from chewing. It was either take the metal in little grains with my energon or chew metal sheets like the fauna still have to do in the wild. I couldn't not take it in or else my frame would just use itself to make the protoform. And I did not want to self cannibalize.

My wings perked when the door to my berthroom opened and Thundercracker walked in.

He smiled as he approached. "Hey, gorgeous. How are you feeling?"

"Like slag…" I groaned.

He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates. "Need me to get you anything?"

"Make the sparkling come out already…. And old enough to take care of themself so I can die…"

"Want cake?"

"I'm not hungry…."

"Well, I got some cake and will leave it on your desk for when you do get hungry. Did you drink your additives?"

"I drank energon and ate a sheet."

"Why would you rather eat metal then drink it?"

"Because I pretend I'm chewing on your face…. And on homework…."

"Want to hang out with your trinemates?"

"Leave me to die…"

"It can't be that bad. You're only a decacycle along. You have six more to go through."

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…." I groaned, rubbing over my faceplates.

He kissed my brow. "You're beautiful, little prince. I love you."

"Love you, too." I said softly, wings fluttering a little.

"Sure you don't need anything from me?"

I hesitated, then slowly spoke. "Could… May I visit my carrier? And stay one night with her?" I bit my lip plate, anxiously waiting for his answer.

His wings raised as he thought, then he slowly nodded. You may. But have Skywarp escort you. I don't trust you flying by yourself when sparked."

I faintly smiled. "Thank you, sir. I will."

He kissed me again. "Need help with your homework?"

"You? Primus, no! I'm trying to pass, here!"

He chuckled. "Let me know if you need anything." He then patted my helm and walked out.

I rubbed over my faceplates, so tired of this already, knowing it would get worse. I rolled my optics when I heard my trinemates fragging in the other room. Thunder must have just come to get a hard-on… All he wanted was to frag me, but he couldn't when I was carrying. He could, actually, but there was a risk of overheating potentially harming the protoform, so it was just safer to not frag when carrying. Which was killing him.

At least he was in a better mood since I was sparked. But, this was not to last…

I rolled to my side, moaning as I just felt awful.

* * *

A few orbital cycles later and I found myself landing on the balcony outside my carrier's room. She came out and hugged me, my youngest siblings with her.

"Look at my academy mechling." She smiled, her wings fluttering as she held my servos. "I'm so proud of you, sweetie."

"Thanks carrier." I smiled sheepishly.

"Starscream!" Hellfire shrieked.

"What?" I snapped at him.

"You gonna play with me?"

"I would, but I'm tired from the trip. How about you just give your favorite brother a hug?"

"But what's in it for me?"

"Primus…" I rolled my optics before picking him up and hugging him. "My love is in it, shortstuff. Show me what you've been up to."

"Darkreem!" Streamline giggled as she carefully waddled over to me.

"Hey, sis. You're getting big." I bent down and managed to scoop her up in one arm, putting her on my other hip.

She hugged me, smiling up at me. I smiled back, feeling anxious when it would be my own looking at me like that.

"Come in, Stars." Carrier gestured me in as I carried my siblings.

"You coming, Warp?" I called over.

He sat on the railing, looking away. "No… I… I think I'll see my own carrier. Call me if you need me." With that said he disappeared in a flash of purple.

My wings lowered a little before going inside with carrier. I sat on the couch, placing my siblings on my lap as carrier sat beside us.

"Where is Overcast?" I inquired.

"In his room as always. He doesn't like playing with his siblings as much as you do."

"Someone needs to help you, carrier." I smiled.

She grinned. "Thank you. I could use the help. How are you doing?"

"I feel exhausted. Not really so much from school just… the sparkling."

"Yeah.. They eat at your fuel reserves like you wouldn't believe. You especially. You were a nightmare to carry."

I smirked. "But I am your greatest blessing now."

She grinned. "Yeah, one of them. Your sire gave me quite a few."

"Have you told them?" I nodded towards my siblings.

"Not yet."

"Told us what?" Hellfire inquired.

"Your favorite big bro is carrying. There's a sparkling in me."

"When will he be born?"

"Well, in about six decacycles if everything goes well. The sparkling is very tiny right now."

"What is his designation?"

"Well, I don't know if there's a mechling or femmling in me yet. Once I find out I'll designate them." I explained.

"What designations are you thinking about, sweetie?" Carrie asked.

"I don't know… Something pretty that isn't about combat or being some powerful being. Just… something peaceful…"

"Hellfire." Hellfire snickered.

"That is quite opposite of what I want…" I grunted.

"Cuhwuh!" Streamline suddenly called out, reaching for carrier.

"I'm here." Carrier said gentle, taking my sister from me and holding her against her chestplates. She opened them and soon Streamline was nursing. "Get ready to be doing this every joor of the night." she grunted.

I bit my lip plate, not looking forward to that.

* * *

My visit with carrier went well. I even got a disapproving look from sire. Which, I guess is always a bonus. But, at least I also got a hug from him which I needed. Skywarp was not on the balcony to escort me home when I was ready to leave, so I went in search for him.

I knew where his carrier lived from needing to help him get something from there before. I wasn't sure about his sire, but I knew he spent more time with his carrier anyway.

I transformed and landed on the balcony of the apartment and knocked. It was a bit before the door opened.

"You're here to get him?" Skywarp's uncle, Solarstrike, grunted at me.

"Um, y-yes, sir." He always scared me. And for good reason.

"Get in." He snapped, allowing me entrance.

I entered and made my way to the back room where Skywarp's carrier stayed. Solarstrike unlocked the door and allowed me inside, then locked it behind me. I swallowed, this place feeling so wrong.

"Oh, hello, Starscream. Skywarp was telling me about you." His carrier, Overcast, said. It kind of was annoying having siblings who shared designations with other people you knew, but, there were only so many designations in the world and my siblings had taken a few hundred of them.

Skywarp was sitting on the old couch beside his carrier, the two pressed together, holding each other. He didn't look at me, just focused on his carrier.

I swallowed, glancing around the room. It was the same as last time I had been here. The windows had metal bars over them, ensuring no escape, the furniture was old and worn, it smelled like it was never cleaned, it was a complete mess, and dismal. Overcast looked so beaten down, covered in old and new scares, dents, and mostly silver from not being allowed to paint himself. He seemed to have never been buffed in his life, and despite the smile he was currently wearing, everything about him seemed so sad, beaten, and barely holding on.

"H-hey, Overcast." I finally managed to say softly, approaching.

"Skywarp says you're carrying. I'm so happy for you." He patted the spot next to him on that rusty couch.

As a prince, I had never seen such filth before and never needed to touch anything so gross. But… despite my royalty programming telling me to run away screaming and demand guards to burn the place, I just couldn't disappoint Overcast. Not with what he lived through and how hurt he was. I sat down beside him, opposite Skywarp, and he soon had an arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"My son is so lucky to have such an amazing trinemate. And a beautiful one at that. Inside and out." He smiled, his denta… not in the best care.

I swallowed, smelling him. It was not a pleasant odor. "Thank you." I said barely louder than a whisper.

"I would love to meet your sparkling. Please, send me pictures of them when they arrive."

"I will." I slowly nodded.

He just smiled, then hugged me. "I love you, son." He said so lovingly, like I was his actual son. Seekers usually didn't bother with adding "in-law" to titles. So "son-in-laws" became just "sons," and "carrier-in-law" became just "carrier," etc.

I hesitated, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but I don't think I really loved him. I barely knew him. But he was very kind and I felt sorry for him. "Yeah… Love you, too… carrier." I then hugged him back, feeling how rough his frame was from the beatings and neglect.

Skywarp was dirty himself, obviously from hugging his carrier so much and having recharged on the couch during the night. He had the obvious signs of being punched in the faceplates, undoubtedly from his uncle Solarstrike.

I would learn more about Skywarp's family as the stellar cycles passed, but at the time all I knew was that Skywarp's creators were forced apart by their trines. They were lovers from separate trines who were found out after Overcast became sparked with Skywarp. Their trineleaders didn't approve of the relationship so ended it shortly after Skywarp was born. Skywarp stayed with his carrier's trine, barely ever seeing his sire. Due to the secret love affair and being labeled as an adulterer, Overcast was beaten, and locked away. But he stayed locked away for the entirety of Skywarp's upbringing, and still was. He was only allowed out of his room when guests weren't around, and only allowed outside with his trinemates. But, most of the time he was locked in his room. And they never bonded with him. Ever since he had become sparked they just stopped. And their hatred for him grew. All he did was work around the house, never interfaced, was not allowed to go anywhere nor speak to Skywarp's sire, and just stayed inside. He was able to go online, watch TV, and do anything inside, but his depression over not seeing his mate and the abuse (at the time I simply considered it the trineleader's strict treatment) made him neglect his own hygiene and self care. He just sat around, not doing anything, and possibly losing his processor.

The worst part was that this was being done to probably one of the kindest mechs ever. He was just the gentlest, sweetest, most loving person I had the honor of meeting, and he deserved so much better.

Solarstrike only ended up breeding with the third trinemate, so Skywarp was the only creation Overcast ever had. But he loved Skywarp more than anything. And Skywarp loved his carrier just as much.

Now, when a Seekerlet comes into the trine the trineleader must accept them as part of their trine. Once accepted, the Seekerlet will have the full protection of the trine and treated as the trineleader's creation to be cared for, raised, and protected. This is done whether or not the Seekerlet is the biological creation of the trineleader.

Solarstrike never accepted Skywarp into his trine. Because of this, that meant Skywarp was not protected by Solarstrike. If Skywarp was attacked by turbofoxes or a gang of grounders, Solarstrike would not bother saving him. It also meant that Solarstrike didn't need to treat him as a sparkling. And not treating him as a sparkling meant beating him was alright. And Skywarp was attacked a lot. I don't know all of those details, but it was the source of his anxiety and other mental instabilities he had. And even as an adult Solarstrike would still go after him.

"So, I guess you two need to return to Thundercracker?" Overcast asked.

"Not right away." Skywarp said, hugging his carrier again.

"Aw, but I'm sure he misses you." He patted his son.

"I missed you more."

"I missed you even more." Overcast said a little softer.

"Need me to give sire anything?"

"Yes, I wrote some more letters for him." He unsubspaced a tablet and handed it to Skywarp. "Tell him that I say you look just like him."

"You always say that."

"You do. You two could pass as brothers."

"I can't compare very well. I've never been with you both at once."

"Maybe one orbital cycle we can be."

"When you finally leave that slagheap?" Skywarp flicked his wings.

"Oh, sweetie, don't call your uncle names. He's only over provided for us, and given us-"

"Carrier, he fragging locks you away and beats you! Primus, how many fragging times have we had this same conversation!? He's _never_ going to let you go! He's _never_ going to stop hating everything about me. Wasn't the times he attempted to _murder_ me not enough to prove that already!? He hung me in the living room! W-with the cable from the TV, carrier! Remember that? Remember I almost got my central nerve cord broken from being hanged? Or when he set me on fire? What about when he abandoned me on the street when I was a toddler? Or, my favorite, when he tore off both my arms, grabbed my ankles, and slammed my helm into the wall repeatedly?"

I swallowed, not feeling comfortable as Overcast started to cry.

"B-but he didn't kill you i-in the end…" Overcast choked out.

"That's because Powerlash stopped him when you couldn't! Powerlash hates me, but he actually cares about you. Carrier…." He exhaled heavily. "You and Powerlash _need_ to leave Solarstrike. _Please_! You can live with me until we can get you your own place."

"Skywarp, I belong with my trineleader. Y-you know this. Y-you have your own now." He swallowed.

Skywarp gave him a steely look. "If Thundercracker ever tried to kill my sparklings I would leave him."

"Trineleaders have the right to kill their-"

" _Not_. _Mine_." Skywarp flicked his wings.

My optics widened some, not expecting that. Of course trineleaders had the right to kill their young if they deemed them mutated, or otherwise unfit to live. They especially could kill them if they weren't Seekers. But, this was the traditional way of thinking. And Skywarp, as I would begin to notice, wasn't really all that traditional.

"Please…. Don't leave angry with me…" Overcast started to cry harder.

Skywarp's wings lowered before he vented a sigh. He hugged his carrier, engine purring to calm him down. "I didn't mean to yell, carrier. You know I want what's best for you… Just… Please… think about my offer. I can't stand you living like this any longer. You need sire and he needs you."

"I know… I just… I-I have a trine I-I'm bound to-"

"Carrier… They don't interface with you… You're no longer bonded…"

"I-it's just interface. Y-you can love someone a-and never interface them."

"That's not how trines work."

"Some things just-"

The door was suddenly forced open and Solarstrike barged in. "WHY IS HE STILL HERE?!" He roared. "Get out of my home!"

Skywarp flared his wings as his engine growled. "Make me, fragface!"

Solarstrike stomped forward, a metal bar in his servo, obviously grabbed to use on Skywarp. Skywarp stood up, ready to fight back, but I quickly leaped up and got between them.

"Wait!" I cried, holding my servos up. "We're leaving. We were just saying goodbye, that's all."

"Step aside, or I'll beat the royalty out of you, spoiled prince." Solarstrike snarled.

"Okay… rude…." I said slowly. "You wouldn't dare beat a sparked mech." I said firmer.

"I have and I will again."

"My sire is the Alpha. Touch me and you'll have him to worry about, slagheap." I flicked my wings, becoming agitated.

"The Alpha will thank me for disciplining his brat of a spawn."

Skywarp suddenly grabbed my arm. "We're leaving, Solarstrike." He yanked me away from Solarstrike before he gave his carrier one final hug. "Love you, carrier. I'll come visit next time I'm able to."

Overcast hugged him back. "Love you more, my precious, little wingnut." He kissed him on the cheekplates. "Send me lots of pictures and keep me posted about everything."

"I will, carrier. I always do." He gave him one last squeeze before forcing himself to let go.

Skywarp grabbed me with one servo as the other flipped off Solarstrike. My trinemate pulled me along, going through the rest of the house, so clean and not smelling like that room. My wings perked when I saw Powerlash, the third trinemate, standing in the doorway to another room, looking so uncertain and exhausted from the drama. He seemed scared to even wave goodbye to us.

Once outside, Solarstrike slammed the door shut and locked it. Skywarp flicked his wings hard twice before transforming and taking off. I transformed and followed, feeling so uneasy after that experience.

I wanted my trineleader to hug and comfort me. I knew he would never treat me like that.

* * *

I was feeling sicker and sicker as time kept passing and the sparkling grew in me. I was thankful the semester was nearing an end, but it was now getting harder to even attend class. I purged my tank in a couple of classes, and found myself in the uncomfortable position of having to ask for extensions and if it was alright for me to miss more classes than we were allotted. Most of my professors were fine, having families themselves and knowing how being sparked made one sick, whether they experienced it themselves or their mate did, but a couple grudgingly permitted me this privilege. The academy had strict rules about how to handle carrying students, so if I didn't get my time off I could speak to the dean about it. And I guess that threat made the mean ones cave in.

Skyfire recorded all the lectures for me and took notes in the classes we shared, and helped me with homework. We mostly did homework on campus, but as larger assignments came, things were changing.

"Feeling alright?" Skyfire asked as we sat in the open lab.

I shook my helm, a servo over my abdominal plates.

He was silent a moment before speaking. "Why don't we just do this at your place so you can relax at home?"

I looked up at him, optics widening. "M-my place?"

"Why not? We get the homework done and you can die on your berth."

"I… I need permission…."

"Why? It's you're home and you're an adult."

"It's my trineleader's home and I have to obey him." I said slowly.

"Why would he be mad if we just studied in the living room?"

I was silent a moment. "L-let me ask him." I then activated my commlink and called him.

::Hey, love. What's up?:: He asked.

"Hey, Thunder… Um… So… I'm not feeling well and…. need to work at home…"

::Yes…?::

"And… that classmate of mine, Skyfire, is helping me, like a _lot_ , and… I was wondering if he could… come over and help me at home." I paused. "Please?" I added hopefully.

He was silent a moment as he thought. ::Let me call Skywarp.::

I waited as he did so, noticing how Skyfire gave me a confused look. I swallowed, wishing he wouldn't judge Seeker culture.

::Skywarp says he'll be home all orbital cycle. So, yes, your friend may visit. But you are _not_ to close the door to your room while he's visiting. Understand?::

I smiled. "Yes, sir! No closed doors! Thank you!"

::Mhmm. I'll see you later. Love you.::

"Love you more!" I fluttered my wings so happy.

::I better go. Hearing your vocalizer is making me hard.::

I giggled. "Back at you. Bye, Thunder."

::Bye, sexy.:: He then hung up.

I looked up at Skyfire, who seemed quite uncomfortable with how our conversation ended. "Let's go. I can't wait for you to meet Skywarp."

* * *

I transformed and landed on the little balcony outside our apartment. Skyfire had some trouble landing, grabbing the wall to keep from crashing. I giggle up at him, not use to seeing shuttles land on anything that wasn't a landing platform. I unlocked the door and walked inside.

"Skywarp!" I held out my arms as I hobbled over to him. I say "hobble" because running was getting hard at this point in the carrying, so it was me trying to run but looking very much like I was having knee joint issues.

"Hey, Scree." He stood up from the couch and hugged me. "Actually managed to transform?"

"It's getting hard to." I let him go and took a step back. "Skywarp, this is Skyfire. Skyfire, this is my trinemate, Skywarp."

Skyfire smiled and held out a servo. "Nice to meet you, Skywarp. Starscream has told me a lot about you."

Skywarp eyed Skyfire, his wings slowly raising. He then grabbed me turned me around, wrapped his arms around my waist, and began to dry hump me, giving my nape a few nips. Skyfire looked absolutely horrified as he took a step back.

"It's alright, Skyfire. He's just claiming me. It's what jealous Seekers do to show who belongs to whom." I explained before looking back at Skywarp. "Warp, it's okay. He doesn't want me like that. Ouch… Calm down. It's okay."

He gave me a few more dry humps before letting me go, only to grab my chin and kiss me on the lip plates. I loved how selfish he was being towards me. It made me feel so cherished and loved.

"Done now?" I asked.

"Yeah." He grunted before holding his servo out to Skyfire. "Honor to meet you."

Skyfire hesitated, then shook it. "Back at you."

I skipped over to Skyfire and grabbed his servo. "We'll be doing homework in my room. And, yes, Thunder already told me not to close the door. Don't worry. Come, Sky!" I then pulled him along.

Skyfire followed me to my room, having to duck down to not hit his helm on the doorframe. I sat at my desk and begun to unsubspace all of our homework. Skyfire sat on my berth, unsubspacing his work as well.

"Okay, so, back to question six." I said as I turned to him.

* * *

We worked for several joors, getting a lot done. I did feel a lot better being home than on campus. It was wonderful. Skywarp kept passing by my room, obviously spying on us, but I had nothing to hide.

My wings perked when I heard the balcony door open and Thundercracker announcing his arrival.

Skyfire looked at me. "Thundercracker?"

I smiled as I nodded. "Yup!"

My trineleader soon entered my room, pausing to eye Skyfire, taking all that he was in. Studying him, judging him, spotting potential weak points. Typical Seeker greeting. Once he had finished, he turned to me and grinned.

"How are you feeling?" He put his servos on me, snaking them down my sides to rest over my abdominal plates.

I looked up at him as he stood behind my chair. "So much better now." My wings fluttered as he kissed me. "Thunder, this is my friend, Skyfire. Skyfire, this is my awesome trineleader, Thundercracker."

"Nice to meet you." Skyfire smiled. "Starscream has told me a lot about you. And congrats on the sparkling."

Thundercracker smirked, but kept his optics on my abdominal plating. "Thank you. We look forward to meeting our creation."

I rested my servos over Thunder's. "Did you make the appointment?"

"Yes. We find out whether we have a mechling or femmling in three orbital cycles." He kissed me again.

My smile broadened. "I'm excited."

"As am I." He pressed yet another kiss to my lip plates. "I'll leave you to continue studying."

"Okay. Love you, Thunder."

"Love you more." He gave a flick of his wings at Skyfire before walking out of my room. "Skywarp! Come over here!" He called as he went to his own room.

I turned to Skyfire. "See? He's not bad."

"I don't know… He seemed…"

"What?"

"Nothing… You got that formula figured out?"

"Working on it." I thought for a moment. "Maybe I have it now… Let's see."

Skyfire's optics widened some. "Are they…?"

"Hmm?"

"I hear them… Can we please close the door?"

"What? It's just interface."

"Star, I rather not hear people interfacing in the room next to us."

"Just lower your audio receptors." I shrugged as I kept working.

Skyfire rubbed over his faceplates. I could tell he was absolutely embarrassed. It made me smile as I worked.

"Welcome to my study 'music.'" I snickered.

* * *

I was so nervous as I sat on Thundercracker's lap in the waiting room. I had visited a doctor after the first orn of being sparked, but now we would get to see our little one and find out what exactly I was carrying. I just hoped that everything was going alright in there.

Thundercracker carried me when my designation was called and placed me on the medberth. He held my servo as the doctor checked on me, then a nurse came to do the ultrasound.

"And there is the little guy." He smiled as my sparkling appeared on the screen, kicking inside of me.

I couldn't help but smile, seeing my sparkling for the first time. Knowing they were growing inside of me and coming close to coming out. Thundercracker had a large smile as well, something he never had. My wings fluttered when he kissed me on the cheekplates.

Skywarp giggled. "Looks like ya already, TC. Big helm and everything!"

Normally, that would earn you a smack on the aft, but Thunder was in too good of a mood to deal out discipline. He just rolled his optics instead.

"Looks very healthy. There's the arms and wings." The nurse pointed them out on the screen. "Ready to find out the gender?"

I quickly nodded, grinning like an idiot. Thundercracker pressed his cheekplates against mine, his engine purring. Mine purred back.

"Let's see…. And congrats you two, you have a little femmling." The nurse announced.

My smile only grew, my wings fluttering. "A femmling." I repeated softly to him.

"A femmling." He smiled, kissing me. "What are we designating our daughter?" He fluttered his wings, finally able to say that.

"I have some ideas. Let me think about them some more."

"I have some ideas, too." He kissed me. "I knew you would give me a femmling."

"Liar. You said I had a mechling."

"There was a time it was neither. So hush." He kissed me silent. "Want cake to celebrate finding out?"

"And huggles." I fluttered my wings.

"And huggles." He kissed me once more.

* * *

The orbital cycles passed, my sparkling grew, and the semester was drawing closer to the glorious end. Thundercracker was very cuddly towards me, doting on me constantly, so pleased that his daughter was coming soon. I loved the attention I was getting, even if it was simply because I had his sparkling in me. I needed to feel some love. Especially when I was so sick all the time. The morning sickness, the spinal strut pain, my peds hurt, I was groggy, helmaches, and just felt awful all the time. But, my trineleader was pleased, and that was all that mattered. But, someone else was not that thrilled.

I walked over to the couch, my abdominal plates feeling some pressure as the sparkling was beginning to grow too large for the gestation tank. She still had some time in there, but she was a very impatient femme. It made it impossible to transform now, and I looked weird when walking.

"Hey!" I sat down beside Skywarp.

He ignored me.

My wings lowered some. "What's wrong?"

His wings flared, optics narrowing, but still didn't look at me. I swallowed.

"Skywarp..? Did I do something..?"

He rolled his optics. "No slag you did something…" He growled.

"What I do?"

He turned to me, his optics daggers. "You know what you did." He snarled, wings held high.

I swallowed. "I-I don't, Warp. W-what did I do?"

"You stole Thundercracker!" He shouted furiously, leaping to his peds to stand over me.

I shrunk back, wings low, scared. "N-no I didn't! I haven't done anything!"

"He sparks you first, he's _always_ touching you, pampering you, checking on you first, and is acting all… squishy towards you! You're stealing him from me! All I get are the frags he can't give you because you're carrying. But once the sparkling is out I _know_ he'll be inside of you and _only_ you!"

"That's not what's going-!" I went silent when he slapped me across the faceplates, too much in shock to cry out from the pain. I put a servo over my sore cheekplates, static beginning to fill my optics.

"Was the dominating I gave you last time not enough? Do I need to beat you so you learn to share?" He growled, wings flicking.

My optics widened, trembling. I did not want to be beaten. I shook my helm quickly, trying to sink deeper into the couch.

"Maybe I do need to beat you!" He grabbed my wrist and yanked me up, hurting my shoulder joint.

"Nooo!" I pulled back, wings trembling, terrified now.

"You don't seem to learn unless you're beaten, Starscream." He snapped with gritted denta. "Let's go get one of Thunder's cables and teach you a lesson."

I started to struggle more, trying to get away. Skywarp was a bit stronger than me, but no Thundercracker. I planted my peds down, desperately trying to free myself. He was getting more agitated, digging his digits into my wrists, denting the metal and hurting me.

"Stop!" I kicked him in the shin guard.

"Ah!" His wings flicked before he slammed me to the ground.

I yelped, slow to get up from the carrying. He was on me in an instant, grabbed my wing, and slammed me into the wall, hitting my helm. I cried from the blow, my Seeker programming, or whatever you may want to call it, kicking in to fight back.

So I did.

I activated my thrusters, flew up, and kicked him in the chin. He fell back, shook his helm, then activated his own thrusters. He flew into me, slamming me into the wall and punching me. I punched back, the two of us soon flying around kicking and punching before we were rolling around on the ground wrestling.

A table was broken and the legs used as weapons, a glass vase was also smashed, the TV fell over, and the walls were dented from us throwing each other and other objects into them.

I don't know how long we fought, but we were soon covered in dents, tears, bent wings, and energon.

It was while we were still engaged in combat that the door opened.

"Hey, I'm ho-" Thundercracker's optics widened before he rushed over. "Stop!" He shouted as he grabbed us, easily pulling us apart. "What the hell are you doing!?"

We both shrunk back, wings lowering, knowing we were done for. We didn't speak, too scared to.

"Well!?" He exclaimed, throwing his arms out to gesture to the damage around the apartment. "What are you two idiots doing?! Who started this?!" He roared, his vocalizer promising more than just death.

Skywarp swallowed, trembling so hard. Coolant was filling his optics, knowing he would be hurt terribly for this. I was shaking too, not wanting to be hurt. I didn't want Skywarp hurt, and I didn't want him to think I didn't love him, nor that I was Thundercracker's favorite.

I suppose it's in my nature to be protective of others, because I'm still not sure why I did what I did next.

"I-I started it, s-sir." I stuttered, trembling even harder now.

Skywarp gave me a surprised look as Thundercracker just sent deadly weapons my way.

"Why?" My trineleader snarled.

I took a step back. "I-I…. I was taunting S-Skywarp th-that you l-loved me more th-than him. H-he got hurt a-and told m-me to stop b-but I didn't l-listen." I was beginning to choke on sobs now, knowing I would soon be in so much pain from my punishment. "H-he pushed me to s-stop but I-I punched h-him and…. I'm s-sorry… I-I won't d-do it again!"

"Why would you tell him that I loved you more than him?" Thundercracker demanded.

"B-because you're a-always doting o-on me a-and sparked me first. A-and i-it makes S-Skywarp feel u-unloved."

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Go to my room, Starscream, and lie on the berth. Skywarp, I'll speak to you after I'm done with him."

I glanced at Skywarp who was still shocked I was doing this. I walked to Thundercracker's room, crying harder now, and obediently lied on his berth. I trembled so much harder when he closed the door and locked it, then I heard him grab his metal cable.

"I-I'm sorry…" I begged, looking back at him.

There was no mercy. He grabbed me with a servo between my wings and held me down. The brutal blows immediately followed, striking my aft with absolute fiery and brutality, with no hesitation between them. I screamed, grasping at the berth before me, kicking, and jerking my wings. He just kept lashing my aft and thighs, denting them terribly.

I screamed so hard my vocalizer was soon emitting only static, and my optics were blinded by coolant. I had honestly though that being sparked would make him go somewhat easy on me, but he didn't.

After he had beaten me with the cable for almost two kliks, he grabbed the energon whip and flogged my wings and back. I screamed, my vocalizer almost breaking. It was only half a klik of flogging, but it felt so much longer.

When he was finally done he set aside the whip, pulled me onto his lap, and hugged me. I bawled into his chassis, trembling from the shock of the beating, hyperventilating.

"Shh, it's over. Calm down." He said calmly. "Don't you ever taunt him or tell him I don't love him ever again. Understand?"

I nodded, still crying my optics out. He kissed me on the cheekplates.

"Go to your room and remain there for the rest of the orbital cycle."

I slowly got off his lap, opened his door, and quickly went to my room, locking the door behind me. I crawled onto my berth, curled into a ball, pressed my backside against the wall to ensure it was safe, and just cried.

It was a bit before my room was filled with a flash of purple and loving, gentle servos touched me. I flinched away, not wanting to be hurt again, but soon my trinemate was lying in berth next to me, hugging me tightly. I curled into his chassis, still bawling my spark out.

He was silent for so long before softly speaking after I had quieted some. "Why did you do that?"

I didn't answer immediately. "I-I didn't w-want you g-getting hurt…" I chocked out between sobs. "I-I love you."

He hugged me a little tighter. "I love you, too." He kissed me. "But you don't need to take my punishments for me…"

"H-how else d-do I prove m-my love?"

I exhaled heavily. "I'm sorry…. It's not your fault Thunder… Acts as he does. W-we need to take care of each other." He wiped at his optics as coolant began to leak out.

"D-don't ever think I-I'm stealing him o-or don't love you." I looked up at him. "I-I love you m-more than anything, Skywarp."

He nodded, more coolant leaking from his optics. "I-I know. I'm sorry, St-Star."

"I-I don't want to fight e-ever again."

He nodded again. "I don't either."

"R-regardless of how Thunder treats us.." I wiped at my optics. "We stick together. No fighting, n-no feeling like w-we're in competition. I-I don't care if he's bias towards me for being a prince… You're my brother and I love you a-and want to be with you until the bitter end."

Skywarp wiped at his own optics. "I want you with me until the bitter end." He hugged me tightly. "Y-you're my trinemate and never will belong to anyone else."

I hugged back. "Same. Don't ever leave me for anyone. I would die without you."

We just hugged, holding tightly onto each other in our silence. It wasn't too long before Thundercracker called Skywarp. My brother sighed heavily as he let me go. He kissed me on the lip plates, wings fluttering a little.

"I love you. I'll be back."

He teleported away leaving me alone with my still very sore backside. I soon heard him moaning loudly as Thundercracker fragged him. I swallowed, glad I wasn't having to go through Thunder's constant need to interface.

I lowered a servo to my abdominal plates, my optics offline as I just felt my daughter kicking and turning around inside of me. I had felt her almost fighting inside of me as I was punished and while wrestling with Skywarp. She was onlined during all of that and so upset from it all. She was just now settling down, but could still tell her carrier was not doing well.

"Go back to recharge, sweetie." I said softly to her. "Carrier… Needs to rest and so should you… W-we had a long orbital cycle. Just rest… And dream of happy things…. Flying… Laughing… Energon goodies… Just recharge."

She knew my vocalizer, and soon did settle down. I just stared blankly at my wall as I thought. Thought about why things had to be like this, if I could handle being a carrier, how I was going to finish this semester, just… my life.

It was nearly two joors later when Skywarp materialized in my room and got back in berth with me. He was warm still, his cooling fans whirling loudly. I curled into his chassis as he held me close, kissing me on the cheekplates.

"You're not recharging with him?" I asked quietly.

"You need me more than he does right now." He kissed me again.

I faintly smiled. "Thank you."

He grinned lovingly, stroking my wing very gently. "You never have to thank me. I love you."

"Love you more."

"Love you mostest."

I felt safe as I fell into recharge in his embrace.

* * *

"Hey." Skyfire greeted as he sat down next to me.

"Hey." I said softly, my vocalizer still sore from all my screaming yesterday.

"Did you figure out number five?"

"I… wasn't able to do any homework yesterday." I didn't even look up at him.

"Oh? Busy with other stuff?"

"Just… Trine drama."

Skyfire looked over at me again, this time noticing my wings were not all that straight. His optics began to study me, then he leaned back in his seat, his optics widening.

"What the-" He gently pushed me forward in my seat, surprising me. "Primus, what happened?!" His optics were wide, horrified at what he saw.

I quickly pushed his servo away and leaned back, not wanting him to see anymore. "Stop it. It's fine."

"Did Thundercracker do that to you!?"

"It's fine. I was just punished. Nothing more." I snapped.

"Vector Sigma, Starscream, this isn't a 'punishment,' this is _abuse_!"

My wings flicked, which hurt. "It is _not_ abuse! I was _punished_! Don't you _dare_ say my trineleader abuses me. He's not some sick ruffian."

"Starscream, punishment should _never_ be physical! This is abuse. Y-you need to report-"

"Stop. It. Skyfire." I growled, optics glowing.

"Starscream-"

"We're changing the subject." I said quickly. "What did you get for number one?"

"Star…." He said gently, concern, care, and… sympathy in his vocalizer.

I offlined my optics as I intook. I slowly let it out in a soft sigh before quietly speaking. "I decided on a designation for my daughter."

He didn't say anything, but his optics were filling with static. It hurt me to see that. But, I realized just how much he cared about me, and I couldn't help but leak some coolant.

* * *

My semester finally ended and I did get good grades in all of my classes. Skyfire and I signed up for our next semester together, making sure we got as many classes together as possible. He would call and talk to me after he went back home to his creators for break, and I loved staying up talking to him. Thundercracker only allowed it simply because Skyfire was a flyer. Had he been a grounder, like Gearshift, well…. I would be getting aft beatings for simply being around him.

My break was going well. I mostly just died on my berth from the carrying, and played videogames with Skywarp. I couldn't leave, I couldn't fly, I could barely walk, but my trinemates pampered me constantly.

Then, it happened.

I was snuggled against Skywarp on the couch, a servo rubbing mindlessly on my abdominal plates. She wasn't due for another half orn, so Thundercracker was at work. He had taken the orn of her due date off to ensure he was present for her birth and being there for her first few orbital cycles. But, my daughter took after me and was full of surprises.

I sat up, feeling strange in my lower body. Skywarp perked his wings, looking over at me.

"You alright?" He asked.

I didn't say anything, just focused on what I was feeling. Then, there was a sharp pain stretching from my gestation tank to my valve. My optics widened as I hissed loudly, servos clutching at anything they were touching.

"Scree?" He sat up, wings perking.

"I… I need to go to the hospital." I said quickly.

Skywarp leaped to his peds. "What's wrong?! What's happening?!"

"I-I think the sparkling is coming."

"Slag." He picked me up bridal style. "Don't die on me." He started for the balcony door.

"Call Thunder." I wrapped my arms around his neck, optics offlining from the pain as my faceplates scrunched up.

"I-I am!"

The trip to the hospital was not any fun. I was in so much pain, only able to cling to Skywarp and whimper. The ER staff were too slow for my taste, but I finally ended up on a medical berth and a nurse tending to me. They had me walk around the room and do annoying squat things that were supposed to help the sparkling come out, but it just hurt too much after a while and I demanded to lie on the medberth. Pain dampeners were administered, but I still felt some pain.

Thundercracker arrived and was beside me instantly, holding my servo ."Hey, sweetie. Holding out alright?" He asked.

"It hurts. But I'll live." I grunted.

He kissed me. "It's good pain. Our daughter is coming to see her creators." He smiled.

"She needs to get out already. I don't want to be one of those who is in labor for several joors…"

But I was…

Because my daughter hated me so much, I was in labor for three joors before she finally decided to stop being a slagger and get out. And when she finally started to, it hurt so much more. My legs were propped up and the doctor came in. I soon found myself crying out as I pushed, only wanting to murder all those around me.

"Ahhh!" I cried, optics offline, panting hard as I pushed.

"Ease up. Push." The doctor said calmly as he watched the monitor, seeing what was happening inside of me.

"Ahhh!" I squeezed my trinemates' servos as they held mine, encouraging me on. "Frag! Ahh! Nnnnnrggh!"

"You got this, Starscream." Thundercracker assured me.

"SHUT UP!" I shouted, cycling air hard. "Ahhh….. AHHH!"

"Does he need more pain dampeners?" Skywarp asked.

"The sparkling is almost there." The doctor replied.

"This sucks!" I screamed. "Why does anyone go through this multiple times willingly?! AHH!"

"The helm Is coming out."

Thundercracker perked his wings.

I took a moment to just focus on cycling my air before pushing again. I cried out, growling as I felt her easing out of my valve now. I gave another push, and then… The pressure was gone. My optics widened and wings perked when I heard her first cries. I sat up as quickly as I could, pulling my legs off the supports, ignoring the pain in my valve to see my daughter.

The doctor held her before me. She was so tiny, covered in gestation fluids, a wire still connecting her to me. I had witnessed many of my siblings being born before but this… This was nothing like those. This one had come from me. I had helped make her. She was my little femmling.

The doctor removed the wire that had failed to detach from inside of the gestation tank and handed her to a nurse to be cleaned. He then inspected my valve, ensuring no tears or anything serious had happened. I just watched the nurse as she wiped my daughter clean with a big, fluffy towel, then wrap her up in an equally soft blanket. My wings perked when she brought over my femmling and handed her to me.

"Congrats on the femmling." She smiled.

I didn't acknowledge her. I held my daughter against my chestplates, seeing her tiny, delicate faceplates before me for the first time. She instantly settled down once feeling me hold her, knowing it was her carrier.

Something blossomed inside of me. I just felt raw emotions all at once. Love. Needing to protect and care for. To never let go of her. Mine. Just… She was mine.

I finally smiled, a digit tracing along that miniscule cheekplate of hers. She yawned, curling into me best she could in her blanket, and fell into recharge, exhausted from the labor. I didn't notice anyone else in the room. Everything else forgotten as I held my beautiful daughter. I would never let her go. She was my everything.

I startled when Thundercracker's servo appeared to gently cup her helm, his pride and love emanating from his being. I felt myself gently pulled against his large chassis, finally realizing he was sitting on the berth with me. I leaned into him, suddenly noticing how absolutely exhausted I was. My optics still never left her, just feeling my love for my daughter growing.

"Starscream." Thundercracker said a little loud.

"Hmm?" I looked up at him, wings perking.

He just smiled. "The doctor asked you five times what her designation is."

I felt a little dumb spacing out like that. I took a moment before I was able to speak.

"Zephyr... Her designation is Zephyr."

Little did I realize that she would become my best friend ever and one of the greatest things in my entire life with such boundless love I could never even begin to fathom I could ever posses for any one thing or person.

* * *

 **Zephyr means "a soft, gentle breeze."**

 **I didn't go into too much detail about Starscream's carrying and everything because I did that a lot in _Illicitus_. Don't want to repeat my stories so much they sound the same.**

 **Ya'll thought TC was goona be nice for now on, didn't ya? WRONG! He hasn't changed. And abusers don't abuse 24/7. There are nice times with them, but that doesn't mean they are good people. Sometimes they have their ups and downs between being overly abusive.**

 **It's abusive and controlling to keep someone from seeing their family and friends. Control freaks, abusers, will keep their GF/BF/spouses from seeing family and friends just to control them, hide abuse, and be the dominant power in their life.**

 **Skywarp's past is the same I've always had it been. You can read the headcanon I wrote on it in the last "chapter" of _An Attempt to Raise a Sparkling_.**

 **"Squishy" is a word Starscream used in the IDW G1 comics to complain about how Optimus Prime talked being all. Heroic and gross...**

 **Starscream taking punishments for those he loves is something he seems to do for his Seekers to protect them from Megatron. I have him doing this in all my fics.**

 **A lot of people share the same names and they've been pointing this out in the IDW G1 comics as well. So, I went ahead and reused a name to make it more realistic. DEAL WITH IT!**

 ** _Okay, now I need to discuss something with you guys_. I started writing fanfics back in early 2015 after reading a fic and thinking "Good idea, but the way it was written sucked. I can do better!" And so my fanfics started at trying to basically throw in some good fics. XD But, I also used the chance to help educate the public about serious issues, from animal/human rights, veganism, etc. All of my original stories about dragons and aliens also contain messages about abuse, the rights of others, etc. **

**Now, with my fanfics I have always finished them with notes explaining more about the messages I put into them and where you can learn more, such as the blog posts I write and share online.**

 ** _A Prince of Vos_ is specifically written to discuss domestic violence, primarily spouse abuse. During my years of fanfic writing and all the messages my previous fics contained I NEVER once had anyone attack, threaten, or harass me for it. People either never commented on the messages and just spoke about the story, or they reacted positively to the information I was giving out.**

 **But ever since I started posting this fic I have now received death threats, harassment, and trolled for pointing out why domestic violence is bad. I have gotten them in private messages as well as on public, to which I removed to keep my comment sections clean. I have this story posted on two sites, FYI.**

 **This harassment is always disturbing when you are pointing out why abuse is bad, and these people are defending it. One of the last attacks I got said this about me, "** **What I find most interesting about your stories is not the actual story content, but your rants at the end. And by interesting, I mean Hugely Telling About How Fucking Crazy You Are." After saying some other nasty stuff they ended it with this, "** **All I can say is, what a shame that there's ANOTHER website where people have to suffer the trash you write."  
**

 **Not only is it sad that someone is defending abuse and being absolutely horrible to someone trying to make the world a better place, but the fact of how lame they are being. Let me point this out: They obviously read my first chapter all the way through to see the comments at the end. Secondly, they waited until _CHAPTER 4_ to make their own comment! **

**So, you enjoyed my "trash" enough to read through it all? Good job.**

 **Anyway! Thank you to those who are being supporting and enjoying it. and to the trolls and haters, you can be a cunt all you want, but it's not going to make you right about abusing others, nor will it hide the fact you are enjoying my fics. I hope you enjoy this chapter and the others to come, as well as the future fics I write. :)**

 **You can only hide from the truth for so long. Abuse is bad, and the sooner you accept it and become a better, kinder person to ALL, the sooner the world will also become a better, kinder place to live in.**

 **One last thing I will point out is these people who support abuse also deny that I was ever abused myself. This clearly shows they believe abuse is not actually abuse and it's okay to be cruel to others. Furthermore, to deny abuse victims they were abused and shame them for having the bravery of coming out about their past is what causes abuse victims to feel alone and commit suicide. So, congrats trolls. You are pushing people to suicide and probably have caused some already. You must feel so proud.**


	6. Zephyr

**Chapter 6**

I didn't stay in the hospital that long. After they got all the measurements, weight, and ensured Zephyr was perfectly healthy, we went ahead and returned home. I told Thundercracker I just wanted to recharge in my berth for the next few orbital cycles and not be bothered. And he ensured that was what happened. I had just given birth to his eldest creation and so pampering me was only right.

I was so relieved when we got home and Thundercracker carried me inside. Zephyr was recharging on my chestplates, not having onlined much since emerging. It was a hard labor and she was just exhausted from it.

"Here you are, love." Thundercracker said as he gently placed me on my berth.

I adjusted myself on my side, holding my daughter against my chestplates. My trinemates both kissed me on the cheekplates at once.

"Call me if you need anything." Thundercracker instructed as he stroked my helm. "We'll be in the other room. I'm going to call my boss and make sure I'm off for the next few orbital cycles. Just rest."

"Yeah, let me know whatever it is you want, Scree." Skywarp said before kissing me again. "I love you."

I faintly smiled. "Love you, too."

Thundercracker leaned over and kissed me, Skywarp, then very carefully kissed our daughter. "I love all three of you." He smiled.

I fluttered my wings, my optics watching Zephyr. I listened to my trinemates walk out of the room and close the door behind them. I offlined my optics, falling into recharge almost instantly. All I needed to do was recharge, now. I had called my carrier while at the hospitalz, and even sent a message to Skyfire. I would message Gearshift later after I had rested. My carrier would ensure sire and my full siblings were apprised.

I was able to recharge about four joors before I was onlined to the whimpering of my daughter. My wings perked, looking down at her as she cried, her tiny servos reaching out for me. I felt… special. Just because I was all she wanted and needed right now. I liked being important to someone. It meant I was loved.

"Shhh, sweetie. Let me get it for you." I quietly said as I removed my chest plates and pulled out the feeding tube. I was quite curious what this would be like. She hadn't asked to nurse yet since all she had done was recharge, so this was the first time. I had always been most curious about what nursing felt like since it was a bonding experience between carrier and creation. A beautiful moment that only a carrier could share with their sparkling.

I helped her get the end of the tube into her little mouth and held it for her. She instantly bit down and began to suckle, getting energon over her miniscule lip plates. I smiled as I watched her, just falling more and more in love with my daughter.

After she finished, I closed my plates back up, wiped her faceplates clean with her blanket, then held her against me again, keeping her warm. She quickly fell back into recharge, and I soon did as well.

* * *

I onlined the next morning feeling someone nuzzling my faceplates. I onlined my optics to see Skywarp's face in mine, his wings fluttering and engine purring.

"Hey, sexy." He greeted softly, not wanting to online Zephyr. "I brought you energon with your additives in it, and some cake, energon goodies, and a little bit of engex." He smirked. "To celebrate that you can finally drink again."

I chuckled. "I love you." I started to sit up, but Skywarp quickly grabbed me and helped me up. I found myself leaning back against a mound of cushions, a tray placed over me with all the things Skywarp had brought me. He gently held Zephyr as he sat beside me, keeping her warm against his chassis.

"Hey, Zee. It's your Uncle Warp." He smiled at her.

She stayed in recharge, her little digits twitching as she dreamed. Skywarp fluttered his wings, snuggling against me.

"I can't wait until he sparks me." He commented. "I want one of my own. I've always wanted one so bad. Before we trined you I had offered myself to him several times to be sparked. But he always told me that we weren't ready yet. In hindsight, he was right. We weren't, but now since we are I just want him to spark me and give me several." He looked at me. "You're so lucky to have been sparked first."

I bit my lower lip plate. "I wouldn't say that…" I said slowly, looking down at the energon before me.

Skywarp kissed me. "I know you don't think you're ready, Star, but you are. Look at her. You're a carrier, now, and to a cute, little femmling. She's lucky to have you has her carrier."

"But I'm attending academy. I-I don't have time just for her."

"I'm here. When you can't take care of her I will. I promise." He pressed his cheekplates against mine. "I will help you in anyway I can, Star. Not just because I want to and love you, but I also need to prove to Thunder that I'm ready."

I didn't say anything, just thinking about how much my life would change. No longer thinking about myself, now I had to think about Zephyr, what she needed, and doing everything for her. Skywarp kissed me, his engine rumbling a little louder.

"Refuel, Starscream. You'll need it."

I slowly nodded before doing just that, my optics having a hard time looking away from my daughter.

* * *

I onlined to Thundercracker kissing me. After I had refueled myself and Zephyr I had gone back to recharge. Things were just sore and I wanted to recharge it off. My engine purred as my optics slowly onlined.

"Hey, beautiful." Thundercracker smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Just sore, mostly." I replied tiredly.

"May I see?"

I looked down, noticing how firmly I was holding Zephyr against me, instinctively protecting her tiny frame. I removed my arm and allowed Thundercracker to pick up his daughter. The way he looked at her… Just pride, love, and everything a sire should feel for their creation. He kissed her miniscule brow, his smile only growing as she mouthed on nothing.

"Think she looks like either of us yet?" He asked as he sat beside me.

"She's going to look like her carrier."

"And why do you say that?"

"Because… I look like my carrier so it's going to be the same." I sat up and leaned against him, snuggling.

"But she'll act like her sire."

"She's going to act like Skywarp."

Thundercracker chuckled. "Probably." He kissed me. "We should do something to celebrate."

"What?"

"Well… What would you like to do?"

I thought for a moment before speaking. "I want to go to museums."

"Museums?"

I nodded. "Something easy going on me, fun, educational, and just something I've wanted to do. Iacon has some nice museums."

"Alright, which ones do you want to see?"

"There's a museum about organic aliens. I think that will be a good one to start at."

"Alright, we can do that." He kissed me. "Love you."

I hugged him. "Love you, too."

* * *

I found myself in Thundercracker's arms that night, the three of us recharging as a trine. Zephyr was in my arms, between me and her sire. She had been so quiet most of the orbital cycle, only making small whimpering sounds when wanting to refuel. But, tonight I would begin to learn what I put my own carrier through.

"Mmmm." I moaned, onlining to the shrillest of cries. I pulled Zephyr closer as she cried, my chest plates parting so she could refuel. I heard my trinemates groaning, having been onlined as well.

"Who's dying…?" Skywarp moaned.

I bit my lower lip plate. "Zephyr is nursing."

"That's fine." Thundercracker said tiredly, his optics still offline. "Just… go back to recharge."

He pulled us closer as he did that. I listened to them go back to recharge, but I stayed online. Zephyr finished refueling, then settled down. I snuggled against my trineleader and also returned to recharge. But, it was only a couple of joors later that Zephyr onlined us again screaming. I opened my chestplates, but she wasn't interested. I vented a sigh, then got up, taking her with me.

I went into the washroom and began to clean out her waste tank, just wanting to go back to recharge. I kept thinking about why I shouldn't be stuck with a sparkling I wasn't ready for, nor wanted at this time. And how much my trineleader didn't actually care with how much he beat me and forced me to have Zephyr. It just made me feel awful, which made me start to cry.

I had to hide my tears and calm down before going back to Thundercracker, lying against him, and feeling him hold me again, obviously still online. Zephyr settled down, and soon we both were recharging.

Then she started screaming a couple of joors later again.

By the time morning came I just stayed in berth. I wanted my recharge. My trinemates onlined later than usual, and Thundercracker wasted no time fragging Skywarp. I rolled over so that I blocked them from Zephyr. Not that it mattered. Her optics were still offline and she wouldn't remember anything.

After Thundercracker finished with Skywarp, he kissed me and the two of them went off. I just stayed, recharging and refueling Zephyr. I didn't bother getting up until almost evening. And all I did once up was go sit beside Skywarp and watch TV.

It wasn't until two orbital cycles later when the routine changed a little. Zephyr onlined her optics while nursing. I was sitting on Thunder's lap, the trine watching TV, and she just onlined them. Red like mine. And she smiled when she saw her creators. I fell in love all over again. My little femmling was growing up so fast already.

* * *

"Come here." Thundercracker picked her up and kissed her, eliciting a giggle. "Your sire has to go back to work. You've kept him from going there for a while now." He gently nuzzled his olfactory sensor against hers. "Listen to your carrier. I'll be back this evening."

He handed her back to me before kissing me on the lip plates. "I'll see you later. Love you."

I smiled. "Love you, too."

He then kissed Skywarp. "Take care of them. Love you."

"Love you right back." Skywarp fluttered his wings.

Thundercracker waved us goodbye, then walked out onto the balcony. I watched him fly away before turning to Skywarp.

"Well, back to the routine. What are we going to do?"

"Wanna interface?" Skywarp perked his wings.

I bit my lower lip plate. "You think I'm healed enough? It's only been like eight orbital cycles since I gave birth."

"I think you are. Does it still hurt?"

"No…"

"Then you're fine."

"Shouldn't Thunder go first?"

"What he doesn't know won't kill him. Wanna be kinky?"

"Kinky…?" I asked slowly.

"You know… Not the same boring stuff Thunder does to us. I've been watching porn - well, I always have - and there's some interesting stuff we should try."

"Like…?"

"BDSM."

"I don't think I would be comfortable with that…. I-I don't like being hurt…"

"I'll shove it in your aft."

"Primus, no! That's staying virgin!"

"Oral?"

"I… don't know…"

"Roleplay?"

"I… I'm not sure…"

"Toys?"

"Don't those hurt?"

"Not at all."

"I just… I don't know, Warp."

"Please, Scree. I don't want to do same ol', same ol'. How about something simple, pleasuring, and no pain."

"Like?"

"I'll surprise you."

I thought about it. I was kind of curious what it would be like to do something other than missionary with Thundercracker, or have him in complete control of everything. I looked down at Zephyr who was watching me, a fist in her mouth. She always watched me. It was impossible for her to get her optics off me.

I slowly nodded. "Okay… Something simple/"

"Awesome! Let's go in my room!" Skywarp took my servo and led me to his room.

I took some cushions and placed them on his desk to make a square before placing Zephyr in the middle, ensuring she couldn't roll away and had a comfy place to recharge. Skywarp went off into Thundercracker's room before returning with chains. My wings quickly lowered, knowing those chains to only bring pain.

"W-what are you-?"

"Bondage." He kissed me before skipping to the berth. "Lie on your back.

I bit my lower lip plate, hesitating, then slowly walked over. I got on and lied on my back, soon being kissed on the lip plates by my trinemate.

"Relax, love." He said gently, taking my wrists and tying the chain around them.

I started to tremble as he tied me, spread eagle. My limbs stretched out and tied to the corners of his berth, making me completely helpless and exposed. He got over me, kissing me on the lip plates passionately, a servo rubbing over my codpiece. I removed it, submitting fully to him. His engine purred, wings fluttering.

"Ready?"

"For what?" I asked, wings perking.

He teleported to his closet, grabbed something from a drawer, and teleported back on top of me. He held up a vibrator.

"This!" He cackled.

"Will it hurt?" I bit my lip plate.

"As much as a spike does." He kissed me, then scooted down so he could see my valve. He rubbed the outer sensor node, making me moan and pull at my restraints. It felt wondrous. He just giggle, making sure I was well lubricated down there before taking the vibrator and shoving it inside of me. I gasped, jumping some from the sudden intrusion. "Shhh, not bad, is it?"

I shook my helm. "No… Not bad. Kinda feels like Thunder."

"Yeah, extra large." He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates, forcing his glossa inside. I offlined my optics and kissed back, giggling as his glossa wiggled around inside of my mouth. It always felt weird, and I just loved it. He broke the kiss to smile in my faceplates. "I'm going to make you scream." He then hopped off the berth.

"Never." I giggled.

He held up a remote. "Wanna bet?"

"I will. Make me scream and the next move is yours. I don't, and the next move is _mine_." I smirked.

"Heh," He made that dopey smirk of his that I learned always meant trouble. "We shall see, little prince." And with that said he turned it on at full power.

My optics widened, feeling that thing inside of me vibrating at the highest setting. It felt wonderful, and painful, all at once. And never having experienced that sensation before, well, I lost the bet immediately. I kicked, squirmed, struggled, tried sitting up, pulled helplessly at my restraints, and, Primus, did I scream.

"Ahhh! Primus! Ohhhhhh! Nnnnrrrrggh! Ahhhh!"

The black slagger just laughed. He laughed even harder when I overloaded. Only then did he turn it off. I lied there, panting hard, trying to cool off. He trotted over and kissed me on the lip plates.

"My move." He so evilly replied.

"Frag you…" I panted.

He unchained me, but kept the vibrator in me. I sat up, wings flaring at him, but he simply sat on the edge of the berth and pointed at his lap.

"Lay across." He ordered.

My wings perked. "Punishment?"

"No, this is for pleasure. They do it in all the pornos and it's like… The number one kink. Just lie across." He grabbed my arm and forced me over his lap, leaving my aft in perfect position for his servo to strike.

I was scared. Thunder had put me over his lap one time before. Over the knee wasn't a severe punishment, more of a warning to behave, but it still hurt, was absolutely humiliating, and I just didn't like my aft being struck. It never meant something good for me.

Skywarp grabbed my wing with one servo, resting his arm over my back to keep me in position. I grabbed his leg, stiffening as I readied to be hurt and reminded that I was a terrible, misbehaving trinemate.

He turned on the vibrator.

I gasped, moaning softly as my legs squeezed together. Then he smacked my aft. I whimpered softly, then moaned from the vibrator. And he smacked me again, and again, and again, and again. I kept moaning and whimpering, the mixture of pleasure and pain. I offlined my optics, staying completely submissive to him. He raised the vibrator's settings, making me moan louder, and he only smacked my aft harder and faster now.

I don't know how to describe what it was I was feeling. I didn't like the pain, but… It just felt like I needed it. That without it this would have been…. Not as enjoyable. I was feeling so turned on, my overload building. He increased the power, then started to hit even harder and faster. I clutched his leg, my own legs not sure to kick or squeeze together. I just moaned and yelped, my mouth hanging open as I panted.

Then, I finally overloaded, crying out from it.

He turned off the vibrator and rubbed over my aft. "Like that, prince?"

It took me a moment before I could speak. "I honestly am not sure."

"What are you sure about?"

I don't know what happened, but I was feeling frisky. I quickly got up, gave my aft a little rub, then pushed him down onto the middle of the berth. I got on top of him, something I had never done before, and kissed him on the lip plates. He was a bit surprised, but his lustful smile made me realize he was more than alright with this change of dominance.

I opened my spike cover and let my spike out, it getting hard very quickly. Skywarp removed his codpiece, revealing his valve to me. I kissed him hungrily on the lip plates, our glossas playing with each other. Our servos grasping and pulling, needing each other. I reached down, took my spike and guided it into him, the both of us moaning.

I grabbed his shoulders and began to thrust, wings held high, panting in his faceplatees. He held my hips, moaning up at me, smirking as I took him. I smiled back, loving this new way of bonding with him. I had spiked him a few times before, but I was still bottom. This was my first time ever being on top. And it felt so right. So natural. Like this was where I was meant to be.

He giggled, holding up the remote. "Let's see how long ya last, prince." He then turned it on and I almost fell over.

"Ohhh, Primus…" I moaned, needing to take a break in my humping to adjust. "I hate you."

"Love you right back, Scree!" He giggled. "Harder!"

I snapped at his faceplates before resuming my thrusting. We were both panting, moaning, gasping, and grabbing at each other, making such an unromantic scene. I pity the neighbors who heard us. But despite how stupid we sounded, it felt amazing.

Our chestplates parted, our spark energy intertwining with each others. We felt each other fully, our passion as powerful as it could become. I kept thrusting into him as hard and fast as I could before I finally overloaded, crying out as I filled him. He came too, spark bonding with me.

We just panted in each others faceplates, and he thankfully quickly turned off that damn vibrator. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. Then, his optics widened.

"You did unplug your nanite wires, right?"

I felt like someone had shot me in the spark. "Oh… slag…"

We were just silent, scared that we may find ourselves getting the beating of the lifetime. I studied his still exposed spark, wings perking.

"I… I don't think we were successful." I said slowly.

"I'll use the scanner. But I don't feel anything strange so… We should be fine."

"We need to be more careful…"

"Agreed."

We were silent a moment before I kissed him again.

"That was really awesome, though." I said. "I want to bond with you like that more."

He smiled. "Yeah. A lot more. And I want to feel your spike more."

I looked away, feeling sheepish. He just giggled.

"Snuggle on the couch time?"

I nodded.

* * *

"I'm home!"

Skywarp and I ran to our trineleader, hugging him as his powerful arms embraced us back. He kissed us on the lip plates, his engine purring.

"How were you two?" He asked.

Skywarp and I exchanged glances, giggling. Thundercracker raised an optical ridge.

"We were awesome." I snuggled against my trineleader. "I'm feeling a lot better now."

"Good." He kissed me. "Well enough for interface?"

I quickly nodded. "Yes, sir!"

He smirked. "Turn around."

I knew he was eager to get in me. He had waited an entire stellar cycle for this. I turned around and removed my codpiece. Those strong arms wrapped around my waist as I felt his hardening spike pressing between my legs. I parted my legs more for him, whimpering when he bit my nape. I gasped when he entered me and began to hump. He really was excited, for he just pounded into me like this would be his last frag ever. It hurt some, but he was the trineleader and I just had to submit.

Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates, his engine purring. I reached for him, hugging him, needing him to comfort me as Thundercracker fragged too hard. Skywarp kept kissing me, trying to help distract me from the discomfort of it. It did help some. I just kept telling myself that once he overloaded he would be gentler.

He did eventually overload, causing me to jump a little has his fluids exploded inside of me. He panted in my audio receptor for a bit before speaking.

"Mmm, you feel wonderful." He kissed my nape. "Love you."

"Love you, too." I said, not looking back.

"Let's continue this in my room. " He lustfully purred.

* * *

A couple of orbital cycles later I sat in my room with Zephyr on my lap. My wings fluttered when carrier appeared on the vidscreen.

"Hey, carrier." I smiled. "Look who's here to see you!" I held up my daughter, who was busy studying a toy her sire had gotten her.

"Hey, sweetie." Carrier smiled at me. "Hi, Zephyr. How are you doing, precious?"

"She's doing awesome. Onlining me multiple times at night for refueling, napping all the time, and she even bit her sire." I smiled. "Didn't you, sweetie?"

Zephyr just smiled at me as she chewed her toy. I couldn't help but kiss those miniscule cheekplates. Every time she smiled my spark burned with my absolute love for her. Primus, I just love my daughter. I can't put into words how much I love her.

Carrier smiled. "Good for her. She needs to show you mechs who's in charge."

"Oh, I have no doubt she's going to be a trineleader. She's going to be tough like her sire."

"I wanna see!" Hellfire exclaimed as he clambered onto carrier's lap and got his face into the videscreen. "Hey, niece!" He waved.

"Who's that, Zephyr? Is that your crazy uncle?" I pointed for her to see, but she didn't give a frag. Her toy took precedence.

Carrier hugged Hellfire close to her, giving him a kiss on the cheekplates, which elicited a disgusted expression from him.

"So, how have you've been?" She asked me.

I vented a sigh, my optics on my daughter. "Exhausted. Taking care of her is very tiring… And I'm getting ready for school to start back up."

"How are your trinemates?"

"Skywarp is jealous. He wants a sparkling. But hopefully Thunder will spark him soon. As for Thunder… He's just been… Thunder. Fragging me a lot and being very rough about it. Skywarp has been making fragging fun and enjoyable, but Thunder is just… rough. Really rough."

"Ew." Hellfire made a face.

I smirked. "Just you wait. You'll be getting a spike in you before you know it."

"Nope! I'm staying single! Never getting a trine!" He crossed his arms resolutely.

I was silent a moment, my wings drooping. "And I hope you never do." I said quietly.

Carrier's wings lowered, and it seemed like she was about to cry. I swallowed, hugging my daughter close.

* * *

My two decacycle break was soon over and I had to go back to school. I was excited, though. I had Skyfire in four out of five of my classes, and my little femmling would be with me every orbital cycle. I packed all of my datapads, a blanket for her, some of her toys, an extra bottle of my weakened energon in case she dried me up, extra energon and additives for me, and a datapad with games and coloring pages for her. I even got myself a sparkling wrap so I could carry her or let her nap against me while my servos were free to do whatever.

I was ready to tackle this carrier-student job.

I walked onto my campus holding her against my chestplates. She looked around curiously, fascinated by everyone she saw. I held her close, my maternal programming kicking in to protect my sparkling.

I got to my first class and sat in the back. I placed her on my lap and wrapped the blanket around her because the classrooms were always so cold. She helped me by eating her blanket. Which simply needed to be done, of course.

"Hey, there, stranger."

I looked up, wings fluttering as Skyfire sat beside me. "Sorry, my carrier told me to not talk to strangers."

He chuckled. "Is that little Zephyr?" And that's when the biggest mech in the room, or the whole academy, melted into a little puddle. "Can I hold her?" He practically squealed.

I smiled. "Of course." I picked her up and handed her to him. "Zephy, who's that? Is that's Skyfire?"

She was absolutely entranced by him. He held her like she was made out of glass, his wings fluttering. Her optics were so wide, not understanding how _anyone_ could be bigger than her sire. And she hadn't even met her grandsire yet…

"Primus…" Skyfire said softly. "Can I keep her?"

"Only if you want me to tear your limbs off."

"She's so tiny."

"Kinda had to be to get out of her tiny carrier." I smirked. "Hold her up to your faceplates."

He did so, and as expected she glomped on, biting his olfactory sensor like the rabid beast she was. Little does anyone know, but I gave birth to a monster. Beware.

He chuckled. "I love her."

"She's _mine_!" I flicked my wings. "My widdle sparkles."

"Yes, all yours." He handed her back.

I took her and kissed her on the cheekplates. "Who does carrier love? Yes, he loves you."

"Aww," Skyfire cooed. "I bet she just makes your orbital cycle."

"She does. I love her so much." I snuggled my daughter, my wings fluttering.

He was silent a moment before speaking. "Regret having her?"

"No, of course not. I just regret having her while I still have to do school. I still wish we waited." I vented a sigh. "But, she's here now and I'll make the most of it." I kissed her cheekplates again. "I love her so much, Skyfire. I could never not want her."

"You're going to be an amazing carrier."

I smiled sheepishly. "Thank you. I hope I am. She deserves only the best."

"You are the best."

"Oh, stop it." I shoved at him. "You're gonna make me cry."

"Just the truth." He smiled.

I hugged her, my wings fluttering. Then, I hugged Skyfire. He was the best friend I needed.

* * *

Zephyr was the most popular femme at school in no time. All the professors soon knew her and even wrote her down as a student for attendance. She was already making perfect grades and the semester had barely begun. She didn't even turn in any work and she was doing better than me! All my classmates loved her and people started to actually sit near me just so they could talk to her. Everyone I passed in the hallways "awwed" and "cooed" over her. I may have been the popular youngling in high school, but she was the popular youngling in academy. Taking after me already.

She was so well behaved, too. She recharged through my classes, and when she was online she nursed, played with her toys, and drew on her tablet. She never cried. I just made sure her waste tank was cleaned before going to campus, and cleaned it between classes to ensure she didn't feel the need to fuss over that. My professors were thankfully easy on me if I had to leave class early to clean her, or if she got a little loud from playing with her toys. But, napping was what she did most, and it made me quite jealous.

When we got home she was tired and recharged more. She always onlined in time to greet her sire and play with him, and went back to recharge when it was time for the adults to bond. She onlined me about two or three times every night for refueling, and my trinemates simply turned their audio receptors off for the night. Thunder gave me permission to punch him if I needed him online right away. I would online, let her refuel, then go back to recharge. It wasn't difficult. I could recharge in a little because I didn't have any early classes. And all she wanted to do in the morning was wave her sire goodbye, and play with my frame by grabbing my olfactory sensor, poking my outer cooling fans, and trying to eat my digits, or my cockpit. A complete monster, I'm telling you.

It was about an orn into my new semester when I had a very bad morning.

Thundercracker onlined, stretched, then started to kiss me. I was barely online, not having fallen back to recharge since Zephyr online me a bit ago. She was online, kicking her legs and biting the plates around my outer cooling fans. Thundercracker gently picked her up and tucked her against Skywarp, then turned back to me. He kept kissing me, then got over me.

I was fully onlined now, my wings drooping. I turned to my side and looked up at him. "Can it wait until tonight?" I asked softly.

"No, I want to interface." He then started to push me back over, but I resisted.

"Please, Thunder. I don't feel like it. Later? Please?" I tried again.

His wings flared and optics narrowed. "No, Starscream. We're interfacing, now."

I shrunk back. "I-I just want t-to do it later… Please?"

He rolled his optics and got off the berth. "How many times are we going to have to go over this?" He growled as he grabbed the metal cable.

My optics widened and I quickly lied on my back and spread my legs out. "I'll do it!" I cried. "See? I'll submit! I submit! P-please, don't hit me!" I started to sob, not wanting this pain.

He stomped back over and grabbed my arm. "Turn over." He snapped.

"P-please, Thunder. I'm sorry! I-I'll submit! D-don't hurt me!"

"You keep denying me and that is _ending_ , Starscream." He snarled with gritted denta. "Turn over or else I'll use the whip on you."

I was crying now, slowly turning myself over and exposing my aft. I saw Skywarp watching, having onlined. He held Zephyr close, who could tell something was not right.

I screamed when the first lash struck my aft, followed by more brutal blows. I clawed at the berthtop, trying to keep myself in place so he wouldn't feel the need to hit me more. Skywarp reached over and took my servo, and I clung to him. Zephyr started to cry when she saw her carrier being hurt. She fling her arms around, bawling helplessly.

I was bawling myself, my aft and thighs being absolutely torn apart by the cable. He just kept beating me for almost two kliks before he set aside the cable, flipped me over, and got on top of me. I kept crying as he entered me and began to frag me. I got a slap to the faceplates for being so loud, and I was forced to make myself stop crying. Well, best I could, anyway.

He fragged me, it was rough because he was angry, and when he was satisfied he pulled out. He kissed me, then Skywarp, and left for work as usual, as if nothing had transpired.

I just cried, hugging myself as I curled into a pathetic ball. Skywarp pulled me over and hugged me. I pressed my aft against him, making sure no one could hit it again so long as it was against something. He handed me my daughter and I just hugged her, crying. She was still crying herself, scared of what happened.

"You wanna stay home?" Skywarp asked after I had finally calmed down.

I shook my helm. "I-I need to go to school."

"Love, you should rest after that."

I was just silent a bit before carefully getting off the berth, holding my daughter. "I-I'm going to school…"

"Want me to drop you off?"

I shook my helm. "I can do it… J-just a sore aft… and valve…" I then walked out of the room and went to my berthroom to get my stuff. I wrapped my daughter in a blanket, and headed for the door.

Skywarp appeared next to me. "Call me if you need anything." He kissed me on the lip plates.

"I will." I said barely louder than a whisper.

I walked out and headed to campus, fresh coolant beginning to leak out.

* * *

I arrived to class and saw Skyfire sitting in our usual spot. I didn't want to see him, but then again I did. I went over and sat beside him, hoping he wouldn't notice. But he did.

"What's wrong?"

I looked up at him, being betrayed by my emotions as more coolant leaked out of my optics. "N-nothing." I choked out, cursing myself for not holding myself together better.

"What did he do?" Skyfire demanded, optics narrowing, mad at my trineleader.

I hugged Zephyr a little closer. "I-I screwed up… A-and he p-punished me…"

"What happened?" He stroked my backplates to calm me down.

I swallowed. "H-he wanted to i-interface this m-morning and I-I denied him. H-he got pissed and… He beat my aft w-with a metal cable… A lot… Th-then he fragged me and was really r-rough about it." I wiped my optics as I broke down. "A-and he u-upset Zephyr. Sh-she saw it and w-was scared."

"Starscream… You need to leave that slagheap."

I shook my helm. "H-he's my trineleader. I-I messed up. H-he had e-every right t-to puni-ish me. "

"No one has any right to hit anyone for any reason. He said sternly.

I looked up at him, wings drooping. He couldn't help it, and picked me up and placed me on his lap, hugging me. I needed that. I needed the comfort.

"He abused you and raped you, Starscream." He said quietly so no one else could hear. "He doesn't deserve you. You need to leave." I just shook my helm. "Zephyr needs to grow up somewhere safe."

"She is safe. He would never hurt her. I-I was punished because I messed up."

"He raped you."

"Trineleaders can't rape their submissives. They own us. I-I'm his and he does as he pleases to my frame. It belongs to him now. A-and I'm thankful to have him. Otherwise… I probably would be doing something stupid. H-he guides me and takes care of me."

"Starscream… That's nothing but slag he's told you. None of it is true."

"This is every trine."

"Every trine is wrong then. Starscream…. If I said I wanted to interface you, and you said you didn't want it, and then I forced myself on you, would that be rape or you screwing up?"

"Rape." I said without hesitation. Of course it was!

"Why is it rape?"

"Because I didn't consent. Both parties need to consent."

"Exactly. Now, did you consent to Thundercracker this morning?"

"I did after I was punished."

"Did you want it after he hurt you? Actually want it?"

I shook my helm. "No… I didn't."

"Then you didn't consent. He raped you after he abused you."

"That's not what happened."

He was getting frustrated, but he controlled himself. "Starscream… He hurt you. He made you cry. He hurt you in front of your daughter. None of that is right. You deserve better."

I was getting upset that he was saying my trineleader was "bad." "And who will give me better? You?" I demanded, wings flicking.

He looked down at me, the most serious of expressions on his visage. "As your friend, yes. I would never hurt you, rape you, or make you cry. _Ever_."

My wings lowered. I was mad at him, but I was still upset from my punishment. I just leaned against him, wanting the argument to end. Zephyr reached up at me, her optics still worried about what she had witnessed. I hugged her close, coolant once more pooling in my optics.

He was right. She shouldn't be seeing that. Not at this age, at least.

* * *

It was a few orbital cycles later when drama struck again. I was on campus with Skyfire, the two of us doing homework together. Zephyr kept fussing, tired from a long orbital cycle in class and now just wanting to go home.

"Shhh," I bounced her on my lap as she cried, refusing to calm down. "I know, sweetie… Carrier is tired too…"

"Maybe we should take a break?" Skyfire suggested.

"But we need to get this done…" I vented a sigh. "Wanna come to my place? We can finish it there and she can nap on my berth."

"Sure, I'm fine with that." Skyfire said as he started to pack up. "Need help carrying anything?"

"Nah, I got it.

We soon got back to my place and resumed work in my room. Zephyr passed out after I handed her over to Skywarp. She just needed a long nap, and Skywarp would make sure she was comfy on his berth for that nap.

It was a couple of joors later when Thundercracker arrived home.

"Hey, Star, how is-" He stopped when he entered my room, wings raising. "What is he doing here?"

I looked up from my datapad as I sat beside Skyfire on my berth. "We're doing homework. Zephyr didn't want to stay on campus any longer." I said casually, not thinking this was a problem. But, as usual, I was wrong.

"And why did you get my permission first?" He demanded.

My wings lowered. "I thought it was alright since he's been here before and you met him…"

"You know the rules, Starscream. You can't visit nor have friends over without my approval first."

I swallowed. "I'm sorry… I-I won't do it again…"

"I know. I'll make sure of it. Go get the cable."

My spark dropped. I slid off the berth and walked past him, going to his room. I was trembling as I picked up the cable from the punishment drawer, where he kept everything to punish us with, and returned. I handed it to him, not looking at him.

"Lean over the berth." He ordered.

"No, you're not hurting him." Skyfire spoke up, his own wings flaring. "He doesn't need your permission to do _anything_! He's an adult and you have _no_ right to abuse him!"

"Skyfire, stop it." I snapped, leaning over the berth as ordered, my peds on the ground as my torso lied across the berth, exposing my aft.

"I don't like your friend." Thundercracker grunted as he approached. "He should keep his mouth shut regarding matters that don't concern him."

"Abusing _my_ friend _does_ concern me!" Skyfire shouted. "I'm about to call the police."

"Skyfire, please, don't make this worse." I begged.

"Call them. They aren't going to do anything about it." Thundercracker grunted. "While grounders may view this as 'abuse,' as Seekers it's culture and the law has to permit cultural practices."

"Not if they are abusive or breaking the law in other matters, such as rape." Skyfire snapped.

"Primus…" I groaned. I didn't want Thundercracker to ban Skyfire from being around me. I wanted to still have my friend in my life.

"And you can get the hell out of my apartment." Thundercracker flared his wings at Skyfire.

"You are _not_ abusing-"

"Skyfire!" I shouted. "Please… Not now… I… W-we'll talk after. Just let him-AHHH!" I screamed when Thundercracker lashed my aft with the cable, coolant instantly coming to my optics.

"Don't hurt him!" Skyfire leaped to his peds.

Thundercracker was not amused. He just gave Skyfire an annoyed and "I dare you to try and stop me" look before giving my aft another lash.

"I know you want to attack me." Thundercracker said calmly. "I know you think I'm a monster. But, you're not going to stop me." He pointed the cable at Skyfire. "You're a shuttle. Weak and pathetic. I'm a Seeker with a full trine. Starscream, despite being your friend, still takes orders from me. If I command him to tear off your arm, he will do it. You, being a weak, pathetic, and stupid shuttle, are no match for a Seeker trine. You know we can tear you apart in a klik. You know what we are capable of. You're from Vos. You've seen it."

Skyfire swallowed. He had. Who hadn't seen Seekers fight when you grew up in their home city-state?

"And, even if we don't attack you, and you call the police, they aren't going to do anything about it. Seekers discipline in public, nothing is done. No one cares about what Seekers do to other Seekers. And if they did for some reason decide to arrest me, you would only ruin Starscream's life. He would have to drop out of school, he would have no Shanix, no way to care for Zephyr, and him and Skywarp would only end up homeless and alone. They are completely dependent on me. They're mine. And it's always going to be that way." His wings flicked. "Sit down, Skyfire. If you continue to make this harder I'll have to beat Starscream extra."

"You don't need to hurt him." Skyfire continued, but softer now. "Physical discipline only makes things-"

"More efficient. Sit down, or else." He flicked his wings, optics glowering. Thundercracker was terrifying when he was pissed.

Skyfire knew he wouldn't win this battle, and he wouldn't be able to get me away from Thundercracker, not like this. He had no choice but to let it happen. Or, steal me and help me raise my daughter…

He didn't sit down, though, staying defiant to my trineleader. He held my servo, glaring death at Thundercracker.

Thundercracker triumphantly smirked, knowing he had Skyfire cornered. He resumed lashing my aft hard, ignoring my screams of pain. I tried my best to control my crying for Skyfire, but Thundercracker hits really hard. I clung to Skyfire's servo, screaming and bawling my optics out.

It wasn't a long beating. Maybe only thirty lashes. He subspaced the cable and grasped my wing, bending it back, hurting me immensely. I cried out, but stayed submissive still. He leaned over me, pressing his codpiece against my burning aft.

"You obey me." He growled in my audio receptor. "You're mine. And that means you ask me first before you bring anyone over. Understand?"

"Y-yes, sir!" I nodded, still crying pathetically.

He released me, glared at Skyfire, then stormed out.

I slowly stood up, crying still as my servos rubbed over my sore aft. I forced myself to get back onto the berth, sit down, and try to return to my homework. Skyfire sat down, just silent for what felt like an eternity before softly speaking.

"I'll help you get out."

I threw my datapad at him. "STOP IT!" I shrieked. "Just… STOP! H-he's not abusing me!"

Skyfire just took it. "Then why were you screaming in pain as he beat you just a klik ago?"

"I-I was punished because I messed up. Please… Skyfire just… Stop. Just, fragging stop. It's not abuse. There's no rape. H-he's my trineleader. Please, l-let's finish our homework."

Skyfire handed me back my datapad, just watching me. I took it and returned to work, ignoring him. He eventually did get back to work, and I was the first to break the ice to ask his help with a problem.

We worked silently for almost a joor, talking on occasion, before Thundercracker returned. He didn't say anything. Just walked over, grabbed me, and forced me to lean over the berth, my peds on the ground. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me firmly. I vented a sigh, not in the mood, but I had no choice. I removed my codpiece and gasped as he entered me.

"Ow…." I groaned, clawing at the berthtop as he took me. It hurt. He was not being gentle at all. "Ahhh…. Ouch…" I flicked my wings, then lowered them. "Fine…" I grunted, grabbing my datapad and working as he fragged me.

Skyfire seemed horrified and completely embarrassed. I caught his optics looking where we were connected before he quickly looked elsewhere.

"Ahem." I cleared my vocalizer. "Do you think, ouch, this looks right?" I handed him my datapad.

Skyfire took it and checked it over, comparing our answers. "Y-yeah… Looks good." He handed it back to me.

I took it and started to work on the next one, moaning and gasping as Thunder kept going. He started to bite me on the nape, his wings flaring, reminding me exactly who I belonged to.

"Ouch… So, for number five… Owww…." I groaned, wincing from how hard Thunder was going. I spread my legs out a bit more, hoping that maybe if it had an easier time moving in there it would hurt a bit less. His arms were wrapped around me so tight I was sure I was about to break in half. He just kept biting, and his engine was growling, and he was making those growling, angry sounds he always makes when he was really turned on. Like, a turbofox fragging, only… it was a much larger mech. With a really deep vocalizer… My trineleader sounds like those alien animal, beast creatures that are huge, they just growl, and… sound kind of dumb. Thunder did not sound Cybertronian when he was really turned on. And this was one of those times. I know it was scaring Skyfire…

"Y-you alright?" Skyfire asked anxiously, embarrassed and worried at once.

"I'm fine. He's just… ow… Is excited. This is normal. Don't worry. Mmmmmnnnrgh!" I rubbed my faceplates. "He'll be done soon enough."

Skyfire seemed like he wanted to melt into the floor. But, Thundercracker soon did overload, growling through it. He paused to pant, flick his wings, then purr his engine as he cooled off. I looked back at him, silently hoping he would leave. But, he didn't. He started back up again.

I managed to get a couple of more problems solved before he climaxed once more, making me overload as well. He flicked his wings, panted for a bit, then pulled out of me. I quickly closed my codpiece and sat on the berth. He grabbed my chin and kissed me on the lip plates.

"Love you." He said with a smile, loving and gentle as always.

That made me feel better. I faintly smiled, my wings fluttering. "Love you, too."

He kissed me again. "I want him out by the time we go to recharge. Understand?"

"Yes, sir. We won't be much longer."

"Alright." He pressed another kiss to my lip plates. "Love you. I'll see you later."

"See you then, sexy."

He released me, flicked his wings at Skyfire, and walked out. I was of course falling in love all over again, but Skyfire wasn't having any of it.

"What a manipulative bastard." He grunted.

I rolled my optics. "Be nice to my trineleader."

"He beats you, rapes you, manipulates you…. What a miserable, lowlife loser."

"He cares for me, protects me, provides for me, gave me a beautiful sparkling, helped me get into the academy, ensures I'm never hungry, and puts up with my less-than-perfect self. Yeah, so 'terrible.'" I sassed right back at him.

He glared at me. "So, that just makes the rape and beatings justifiable?"

"You don't know when to shut up, do you?" I flicked my wings, optics narrowing.

"I know that you deserve better than that perverted slagheap."

I dropped my datapad on the berth. "I think you should go, now."

"So he can beat and rape you in privacy?"

"I'm done with this conversation." I got up. "I'll see you in class tomorrow."

"Crying again?"

I swung around and punched him in the faceplates. He jumped back, not expecting that at all as he placed a servo to his hurting cheekplates. His optics were wide, jaw hanging open, just utterly shocked.

I flicked my wings, engine growling. "Leave."

His optics narrowed before he stood up and subspaced his stuff. "I'll see you tomorrow then." Was his gruff reply.

"Don't let the door kick you in the brass bearings on your way out." I snapped.

He looked down at me. "You know, you may hate me now for pointing these things out, but when your life goes to hell, and you realize this is all wrong, you'll come crying to me."

"Not happening. Bye."

"Bye." He stormed out of my room and to the balcony door. He paused, his wings lower some before he looked back at me. "Please…" He said softer now. "Just be safe until then."

I flicked my wings. Once he walked out my wings drooped, feeling the guilt of hurting my friend. I vented a sigh and returned to my room, throwing myself onto the berth. And, I cried again.

I just prayed he wouldn't abandon me for being so stupid.

* * *

I was so nervous going to school and seeing him again. I hugged Zephyr close to me, looking down when I saw him enter the classroom. He came straight over and sat beside me. I didn't look up, just trying to pretend he didn't exist. He placed a box on the desk in front of me before resuming getting himself set up. My wings perked, eyeing the box, before grabbing it. I hesitated, then opened it, seeing that it was filled with energon goodies, some cake, energon sticks, and other goodies.

I vented a sigh as I set it back down and hugged him. "I'm sorry I hit you… And yelled at you…" I said softly.

"I already forgave you." He replied, stroking my backplates. "I worry about you, Starscream."

"I know…" I vented out, not looking up.

"I wouldn't be saying anything if I didn't care."

"I know… Just… There are different rules in Seeker culture."

"Rules may be different, but our processors all work the same."

"Not right now. I don't want to argue again. Here," I handed him Zephyr. "Peace treaty. Let's just not talk about any of that stuff."

"Fine…" He took Zephyr. "For now at least."

"Thank you."

He studied Zephyr for a moment before speaking. "She looks more like you than him."

I looked up at him, wings perking. "You think so?"

He faintly smiled. "Yeah… She's probably going to look like your sister."

"Nah, all my sisters took after sire. The mechs tend to look more like their carriers. I look just like my carrier."

"I would love to meet your carrier sometime."

I smiled. "Really?"

"Why not? You talk about her constantly. She sounds really cool."

"She is. M-maybe sometime you can come to the palace with me and meet my creators."

"Sure it's safe?"

"What you mean?"

"I heard non-Seekers aren't welcome in the palace."

"Nah, sire always has politicians visiting and then some of my siblings and I have friends who aren't Seekers. I have this one friend, Gearshift, who's been my friend since first grade. He's awesome. We're still friends. Sire let him come to the palace all the time."

"Where is Gearshift now?"

"He's living in Kalis with his family. He moved there after he graduated from academy because of his job. I… talk to him in secret whenever I can."

He gave me a puzzled look. "Why in secret?"

I looked down, wings drooping. "Sire and carrier may know about Gearshift, but my trine doesn't. Thundercracker hates grounders. A lot. If he found out I was friends with one he would beat me… A-and forbid me from talking to Gearshift…. Might even attack Gears… It's best he just stays a secret…"

"But, he's your friend. You have the right to see him."

"I can only do what my trineleader allows me to do. .." I said softly.

Skyfire was silent a moment before speaking, gently. "Starscream… You ever thought that maybe… your trineleader could be wrong about something? I mean, no one's perfect. We all make mistakes. Could he also make a mistake? Or more than one."

I didn't look at him, a digit tracing along a scrape in the desk. "I suppose he could…" I said after a moment.

"Is it also possible that… Maybe trineleaders in the past said that it was alright for them to do things that were bad to cover up their imperfections? And over time it was just accepted that those imperfections were justified when they actually aren't?"

"He doesn't rape me…."

"Why did you jump to that right away?"

I swallowed, still not looking at him. He stroked my wing, comforting me.

"Starscream?" He said so quietly, caring. "Do you like the way he treats you?"

I don't know why, but coolant started to pour out of my optics. I slowly shook my helm, but couldn't get myself to speak. Skyfire just continued stroking my wings.

"Maybe Thundercracker isn't a bad guy deep down. But, I think… I think he's been told that if he's a trineleader he can do things that are not right. He doesn't know they aren't right because no one told him they are bad. And I think… You have been told these things too. That you think that a trineleader is perfect and can't do wrong, all because imperfect trineleaders have said those things to cover up their imperfections." He paused. "And I think you want things to change but you're too scared to make them change. To stand up. To admit that… the things you've always been told are not right. That some things… need to change. And change isn't bad. Sometimes, change is necessary and good to help us, those we care about, and even the planet as a whole." He paused again. "And I think… You're capable of standing up for yourself and making those changes. Because you're strong, Starscream. And really smart. And I know you deserve more than what he's giving you."

I couldn't talk. I took my daughter back and just hugged her. My trineleader couldn't be wrong. He's, well, my trineleader. He knew what was best for me and Skywarp, and took care of us, provided for us, and… made sure we behaved. There was no way he could be bad.

"You alright?"

I shook my helm, thankful when the professor finally came in and started the class. I got Zephyr tucked away on my lap for her nap, then got my notes out. Skyfire kept stroking my wing, and he did so for the rest of the orbital cycle.

* * *

I got home later that orbital cycle, immediately hugged by Skywarp when I entered the apartment.

"Hey." He kissed me. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." I mumbled, looking down.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his servos holding my shoulders.

"I just…" I looked down at Zephyr. "Just been thinking. That's all."

His wings perked, quiet a moment before speaking. "Well, TC will be home soon. You probably should clean up. You know he doesn't like fragging us if we aren't presentable."

I nodded. "Okay…" He walked to the washroom and closed the door. I prepared my shower, pausing to look at Zephyr as she sat on the floor playing with a towel. My wings drooped. "You're sire's not wrong…" I said more to myself than her. "He can't be… He's my trineleader…"

* * *

A couple of orbital cycles later I was in my room with Zephyr. She was busy eating my homework while I tried to work.

"Ba da!" She exclaimed, giggling.

My wings fluttered as I smiled. I pressed my brow against hers, purring my engine. "Carrier loves you, too."

She giggled, letting go of the datapad to hug my face. My spark just melted. Everything this femmling does melts my spark. I picked her up and hugged her, wings fluttering.

"Say, 'I love carrier.' Say it." I kissed her cheekplates.

"Ahb da kuhhuh." She smiled, grabbing at my olfactory sensor.

"I love you, too." I kissed her servos. "Love you more than anything, precious."

"Starscream!"

My wings perked when I heard my trineleader summon me. I slid off my berth and walked out my room with Zephyr. I quickly made my way over to Thundercracker who was standing by the couch with Skywarp.

"Yes, sir?" I asked, wings lowering when I saw his stern expression.

"You and Skywarp are in trouble." He snapped.

My spark dropped, scared of what I must have done. "W-why, sir?"

"Look around. This place is a mess. You and Skywarp should be cleaning, right?" His wings flared.

"I-I'm sorry. I-I've been busy with school sir." I hugged Zephyr closer.

"I'll clean, Thunder." Skywarp piped up. "We just got distracted. It won't happen again."

"No, it won't. Skywarp, go get the cable." Thundercracker ordered.

Skywarp's wings lowered all the way before he walked away to do just that. I had static in my optics, not wanting to be hurt again.

"I-I'm sorry, Th-Thundercracker." I choked out, but only cold optics gazed upon me.

"Either put Zephyr on the couch or in your room. Then lean over the back of the couch." He ordered.

I didn't want her to see. I took her back to my room, starting to cry now. I tucked her in a blanket and cushions to make sure she wouldn't roll away, then returned to my trineleader. Skywarp handed him the cable, which he took and bent over.

"Both of you, over the back of the couch."

Skywarp took my servo before he did so. I followed, gripping his servo tightly. Skywarp watched me, tense, his free servo grasping the couch seat.

"Ahh!" He yelped, optics offlining as his faceplates scrunched up. He didn't start crying, though, controlling his emotions. He had been hurt all his life and it was harder to get him to cry. Plus, he was staying strong for me.

I winced each time I heard the cable lash across his aft, followed by his cry of pain. I was trembling, scared for my turn. I don't know which is worst: Being first or waiting your turn as you watch your trinemate get the slag beaten out of them.

It took a bit, but Skywarp soon began to cry, coolant leaking from his optics, his servo gripping mine tightly. I was trembling, tensing, just waiting for my exposed aft to get it.

I screamed when he did lash my aft, clawing at the couch. Then the lashes just kept raining down. I was bawling my optics out in no time, begging and shrieking throughout my punishment. I clung to Skywarp's arm, trying to keep myself to stay so I wouldn't be hurt anymore.

Skywarp resumed crying when Thundercracker beat him some more, then me, then Skywarp, and finished with me. I was just a bawling mess, hyperventilating and blinded by my coolant. Skywarp helped me to stand up, then hugged me.

"Clean this place." Thundercracker snapped before stomping away.

Skywarp held me close, wiping at his optics as I cried into his chestplates, shaking from the shock of the beating.

"I'll clean." He choked out. "G-go back to your homework a-and Zephyr."

"I-I can help." I sobbed.

He shook his helm. "Zephyr needs her carrier." He then nudged me away. "I got this."

I wiped at my optics as I walked away, my other servo rubbing over my abused aft. I went back to my room, feeling even worse when I saw Zephyr crying. She held her arms out to me, obviously having heard her carrier screaming. I picked her up and hugged her close, bouncing her a little to calm her down.

"Shhh, sweetie." I cooed. "Carrier is alright. H-he was just punished by sire. S-sire had to punish carrier. Th-that's all." I sat on the berth, wincing a little from the pain. "It's okay. Th-this is… This is just how things are. W-we can't change it." I swallowed. "The trineleader knows best. Y-you'll understand one orbital cycle. You will."

I swallowed, not sure if I even understood myself. Maybe… what if… What if the trineleader didn't know best?

No, of course not. They knew what was best and everything they did was right and necessary. That's how things were. That's why they were trineleader.

Right?

* * *

 **Yay, another chapter! I just read the ending of "Till All Are One" and... Damn... It's the second day since I read it and I'm still an emotional trainwreck. Starscream is the hero. Always has been. He's not changing, his true self is just finally coming free. Finally removing that mask he's been forced to wear all his life in order to survive. And I have been ensuring I stick to that character of him in my fanfics.**

 **Starscream being most curious about nursing is because I am. I'm never having kids, but I find it more curious what breastfeeding is like... Pregnancy probably feels interesting at times, but mostly you're sick and dying. Nursing is bonding time. But, eh, never having spawn! XD**

 **Thundercracker is manipulative, even if he doesn't realize it. Abusers keep their victims in their clutches by making them believe they love them, or what they do is "necessary." So, making submissives believe being beaten is "good" for them because they are "learning" to behave. Or that they love them and do good things for them, and the few bad things are just because it "has to be done." It's all common abuse tactics that keep victims with their abusers. And it can be very hard for victims to realize the reality when they've been lied to all their lives, brainwashed, or are scared to leave.**

 **Kinks are not really normal in Seeker society. The trineleader controls the interface. So, Skywarp and Starscream are being deviants by getting kinky. They have no idea what they're doing, but they don't want to be like the rest.**

 **Zephyr is all popular like my service dog is at my college! XD Maggie is loved by all, the professors count her in attendance, and she got passing grades this last semester from several of my classes. :3 She didn't do well in participation, though... One professor said that she's his favorite because he never has to grade her homework. XD He also said she is the hardest worker he's had. It's not the easiest calming down my panic attacks. But she does her job well. :3 If you want to see pictures or my drawings of her, they're on my deviantART page. Ga-Maleven on deviantART. Search that and you'll find me. :)**

 **The comment about the door hitting Skyfire in the brass bearings comes from Gamerpoop. "I hope the door kicks you in the nuts on your way out the door!" Love Gamerpoop. XD**

 **Okay, so, deep talk time! You can be told a lie and repeat it to yourself multiple times until it becomes truth. You then end up not believing the truth when it's told to you because you've been told these lies for so long that the lies are the only "truth" you know. Such as, that humans are "omnivores" and "need" to eat animals, that meat, dairy, and eggs are "good" for us, etc. Those are lies that many have heard so many times they believe is the truth, when it's not. Many also have been lied to to believe that hitting children is okay and simply "discipline," when it's abuse. Period. Here, the culture of Seekers has told the lie that trineleaders are flawless, they know everything, and everything they do is for the betterment of their trine. Starscream and others have heard that so much that that's the only "truth" they know. They can't fathom that a trineleader could be raping , abusing, or wrong when trineleaders have ALWAYS been right.**

 **So, now that Starscream's beliefs are being challenged, it's making him think. That's what activists like I do. Educate by telling people what's really going on in the world to stop those lies that have been instilled into your brains. Skyfire is educating Starscream and is cutting at those chains. But, it will take Starscream's strength to overcome them and break free of them.**

 **Sometimes, abuse victims can break those chains quickly. Sometimes... it can take years. But, Starscream is there. His mask will be removed before you know it, and the true Starscream will come forth.**

 **And you guys will love it when that happens in this fic. :)**


	7. Let's Go to a Party

**Chapter 7**

"Ahhh!"

I winced, trembling as I watched Skywarp get his aft beaten with the metal cable. He was leaning over the arm of the couch, clutching it desperately as Thundercracker beat the absolute slag out of him. I was shaking, waiting my turn. Our crime? Apparently we were "too loud" when playing with each other. We were laughing, joking, chased each other around the living room some, and just having fun burning off energy. It was storming outside so we couldn't go out flying. We didn't think it would be bad to just play indoors. I mean, we always did when Thundercracker wasn't home. But, this orbital cycle he was. And we annoyed him. He had come storming out of his room, absolutely furious with us, and immediately began to lash Skywarp's aft. I had to sit down and wait, no longer happy.

Skywarp was a bawling mess by the time Thundercracker had finished with him. He grabbed his wing, yanked him off the couch, and pointed for me to get over. I did so, shaking so hard. He shoved me over the arm and immediately began to strike my aft as hard as possible. I screamed, kicked, begged, and bawled my optics out. He just kept beating me, going on for nearly two kliks before he finally stopped.

"Make another sound and I'll flog you." Thundercracker snapped before marching back to his room and slamming the door shut.

I slowly got up, crying pathetically as I rubbed my severely dented aft. Skywarp hugged me, still crying himself.

"I-I'm sorry f-for getting y-you in trouble." He sobbed.

I shook my helm and just hugged him back, crying into his chassis. It wasn't his fault. We both did bad. That's why we were both punished.

I soon let him go and started to turn away. I paused, grabbed his servo, and made him come with me to my room. I shut the door behind us and went to my berth. I picked up Zephyr, who was trembling, scared after hearing the screams.

"I-I want to just… Please stay with me." I said softly to Skywarp.

"I will." He replied barely louder than a whisper.

I very carefully lied on my berth, wincing from the pain. Skywarp got on behind me and hugged me, the both of us being careful with our sore afts. I just studied Zephyr as she lied in my arms. She had gotten so big. She was now crawling and trying to say words. She was almost five decacycles now, and growing up so fast.

Her tiny servo touched my cheekplates, her optics leaking some coolant. I kissed her servo, but couldn't get myself to do much else.

"Bahdah… Nushd… Awch…." She tried saying.

"Yes… Carrier is ouch…" I wiped at my optics. "Carrier was bad… So carrier got an ouch… "

She just looked at me, those optics filled with such sadness. Too young to have such optics.

"Cuhweeyur."

My wings perked. "S-say that again."

"Cuhweeyer." She repeated, grabbing at my olfactory sensor.

Despite all the pain I was in, I smiled. Her first word. I pulled her close, kissing her on the cheekplates.

"Yes… Carrier. I love you."

"Cuhweeyer." She hugged my neck, those little arms holding so tightly to me.

I fluttered my wings when Skywarp kissed me on the cheekplates.

"She's growing up so fast." He said softly. "I'm proud of the both of you."

I swallowed. I didn't feel proud of myself…. But I did feel proud of my daughter.

* * *

"I'm going to kill him."

I rolled my optics as I sat beside Skyfire in class. "I was too loud. Skywarp and I both were punished."

"So, instead of nicely asking you two to keep it down, he beats the slag out of you?" He gave me that look of his.

"Zephyr said her first word last night." I tried changing the subject.

"'Sire is an abusive slagger?' 'Someone save carrier?' 'Help?'"

"Skyfire, stop." I snapped. "Please, I-I don't need this." I started to break down, just so done with the arguing.

"Starscream, in the past decacycle alone you have told me he's beaten you for dropping a glass dish on the floor, denying him interface, asking him to help clean _his_ daughter's waste tank, using the wrong air freshener in his room, accidentally onlining him at night when the sparkling was crying, not shutting the sparkling up fast enough, eating his energon goodies, calling your own carrier without his permission, crying in the middle of interface, not enjoying the interface, annoying him, spilling energon on the table, and asking him not to frag you when you're doing your homework. That's like, thirteen things in one decacycle. Thirteen _ridiculous_ things you got the slag beaten out of you for. And I know there's more. How many times will he beat you next decacycle? Or the one after that? What if one orbital cycle he hits too hard and you don't online. I know he punches you. I've seen the damage. You came in with a shattered optic five orbital cycles ago. Everyone here in the academy is talking about you, Starscream. _Everyone_ sees the abuse. Everyone is terrified for Zephyr's safety. Including me."

I was crying now, clinging to my daughter. "I-I mess up. I-I'm punished."

"He punches you in the face for not enjoying interface. Starscream, look at me." He said so strictly, which I did. "You don't like him interfacing you, and he beats you for that. Does that seem like a good thing?"

I didn't speak, just hugged my daughter. "H-her first word was 'carrier.'" I finally choked out, wanting the subject to change so desperately. "Sh-she is figuring out h-how to count. R-right, sweetie?"

She chewed her digits, watching me as she always did. I flinched when Skyfire touched my wing, then began to rub over it gently.

"If you can't take it anymore… If you need to get away… Come to me." He said softly. "My door is always open."

"I'm fine…" I wiped at my optics. "I'm fine…" I said it more to myself then him.

"Think about Zephyr. Does she deserve this kind of life? To see her carrier hurt by her sire? Raped by him? If not for you… Then do something for her."

I just wiped at my optics, trying to calm down. He kept stroking my backplates, comforting me best he could.

* * *

"Come here. Come to sire." Thundercracker smiled as he crouched, servos held out.

Zephyr crawled over to him, smiling herself. She sat down and reached up to him when she was close enough, giggling when he picked her up and tossed her in the air.

He kissed her on the cheekplates before nuzzling olfactory sensors. "Who does sire love? He loves you. Can you say 'sire?'"

"Cuhweeyer!" She exclaimed, clapping her servos together.

"We'll work on it." He kissed her again.

I stood back, watching him interact with our daughter. I was starting to be scared of being around him, terrified if I would screw up and require punishment. Or if I would accidentally turn him on and he frag me. I no longer wanted to interface with him. I only like being with Skywarp. Every time Thundercracker took me I just saw Brakelight. I no longer felt love. I just felt Brakelight.

"You're getting so big." He pressed his brow against hers, his engine purring. "Before long you'll begin school."

I spoke for some reason. "I-I was thinking we could send her to the public school just down the street."

His wings perked as he looked at me. "Why?"

"Well… I-I went to public school and I loved it. I-I was the popular youngling, and I learned a lot, made lots of friends… It was fun. I-I think she would like that."

"Or, we send her to a private school."

"We could… But public school is cheaper. And she'll be learning the same things."

"Seekers don't go to public school."

"I did. It was awesome."

"Yeah, and she'll be bullied and raped. That's what happens to us if we go to such places."

I swallowed, feeling very uncomfortable. "I… I wasn't." I lied softly. "Nothing bad ever happened to me in public school."

He eyed me. "I'll think about it." Was his gruff reply. "I'll ensure that wherever our sparklings go they only receive the very best education and care."

"Of course. I wouldn't want anything otherwise." I slowly nodded.

"Mmmnnnrrrhhh!" Zephyr reached out to me, struggling.

I slowly approached and took her from her sire. I opened my chest plates and allowed her to refuel, keeping my wings and optics down. Thundercracker lifted my chin and kissed me on the lip plates, his servos then lowering to rest on my hips. I barely kissed back, but I could feel his passion growing. I cursed inwardly, not wanting to interface. Not wanting to be hurt. Not wanting to thing about Brakelight.

A servo snaked to hold the small of my back, his kissing becoming hungrier, demanding. His glossa was in my mouth, and I offlined my optics to hide my emotions. I clutched Zephyr closer, praying she would never stop nursing. That she would stay between us and he wouldn't take me.

But, she did finish.

He took her away from me and placed her on the berth with her toys. He then turned back to me, holding my waist as he resumed kissing me. Then, he gently pushed me down onto the berth so I lied on my back. Coolant was beginning to leak from my optics as he mounted me, his spike already unsheathed and hard. I obediently removed my codpiece, spread out my legs, and allowed him to enter me. I winced when he did, looking away as he began to thrust. I was moaning and panting softly with each hard thrust. I looked away at my daughter who was chewing on her stuffed turbofox toy, not interested in what the adults were doing.

I offlined my optics, wincing from the pain. He no longer seemed to do it out of love. Just lust. And he no longer cared if it hurt me. I guess I just whined too much.

I saw Brakelight. Felt him in me. Heard his raspy exhales. The way he held me… How he groaned… Everything… I felt it all. I was a sparkling again, helpless to him. I was scared. So scared.

"Owwww…. Hah… Please…. S-stop…. Ouch…. Ahhhh…. B-Brakel-" I caught myself just in time, quickly swallowing.

"What?" His wings perked, pausing in his thrusting. "What did you say?"

"Break!" I said quickly. "C-could we take a break? I just… I-I have a bit of a helmache and… N-need a break."

"Maybe you wouldn't have a helmache if you didn't cry so much." He grunted.

My wings drooped. "I-I'm sorry…." Coolant was leaking anew now. "I-I can't-Ahh!" I yelped when he slapped me across the faceplates.

"Shut up. I really don't want to hear it." He resumed thrusting.

I wanted to just scream and cry, but I held it in. He kissed me on the neck cables as static filled my optics, my spark feeling so crushed. I watched my daughter, who was watching us now, knowing her carrier was upset. I reached out for her, and she crawled over to me, sitting down, and hugging my servo. I just watched her, on the verge of crying.

"When she turns four I'm going to spark you again." He said, still humping me. "I want another from you."

I bit my glossa, having wanted to say, "But you barely spend time with the one you have now." But, I knew if I said that I would get a beating. I remained silent, coolant leaking from my optics now.

"I love you." He kissed me on the cheekplates. "My precious trinemate. All mine. Now and forever." He kissed me on the lip plates. "So precious to me."

I swallowed, falling for him all over again. He did love me. He saw me as something special to him. Of course he did! The pain was necessary… I was a bad Seeker… I needed the pain… It was what I deserved.

"I love you." He said again.

I didn't say anything, just looked up at him. His wings raised.

"Not going to say it back to me?" He cocked his helm ever so slightly. "Do you not love me?"

My wings perked ever so slightly. "What? N-no, I-Ack!" I yelped when slapped again.

"I give you everything and you don't even love me. Ungrateful brat." He growled, thrusting even harder.

"I-I love you!" I cried. "I-I do! I-I'm sorry, I-I'm just tired a-and-"

"Shush." He snapped.

I remained silent, only whimpering and moaning softly as he finished up with me. Once he overloaded and was satisfied he simply pulled out, kissed me, and walked out of my room.

I slowly sat up, closing my codpiece as I hugged myself. I turned to Zephyr who was stacking her blocks to make little towers.

"Your carrier is the worst trinemate ever." I finally said to her. "I just… Can't make him happy… Why do I suck so much?"

Zephyr looked up at me, then held up her arms. "Cuhweeyer."

I picked her up and hugged her close, thinking about how terrible I was. So terrible that I had to be punished constantly. Frag me.

* * *

"Come on." I smiled, watching my daughter hobble alongside of me as we walked on campus. It was nearing the end of my semester, and she was almost a stellar cycle old now. She was beginning to walk, she could say a few words, and was learning about the world around her so fast. I was so proud of her. Still am. "Let's go see professor." I said as we entered the classroom and went to the front. I unsubspaced a datapad and handed it to her. "Turn in your work."

She smiled as she did just that, awkwardly carrying the datapad to the professor and holding it up, almost falling over.

"Thank you, Miss Zephyr." The professor smiled at her. "Did you do your carrier's homework again?"

"She did all of it for me." I smiled, picking her up and placing her on a hip. "She even drew you another picture."

He grinned. "I loved the last one. Thank you, Zephyr. You're the hardest working in my class."

I nuzzled her olfactory sensor. "Yeah… She's always working at home, aren't you? Did you hit your sire with your toy this morning? Yes, you did." I kissed her on the cheekplates.

"I'll see you later, Zephy." The professor waved at her.

"Say, 'bye-bye.'" I waved, trying to get her to do it.

"Buh-buh." She said as she waved, giggling at me.

My wings fluttered. "I'm so proud of you." I kissed her again. "Okay, let's go sit with Skyfire." I walked to the back of the classroom and sat beside the shuttle, placing my daughter on my lap.

"Morning." He greeted.

"Blech."

He smirked. "Don't like mornings?"

"I never do."

"How is Zephyr?"

"She's good." I fluttered my wings as I removed my chestplates to let her refuel. "How is Skyfire?"

"I am good myself. You?"

"Tired."

"You always are."

"I have a sparkling and homework to take care of… And a trineleader to satisfy. I don't do the work, but it's still exhausting."

"Don't want to hear about interface life."

"You're such a virgin."

"And proud."

I swallowed, wishing I could have had that at his age. "You'll lose it one orbital cycle."

"Maybe. but, that won't be for a while. I don't have any type of romantic relationship going for me at the moment."

"Have you ever been in such a relationship?"

"Nope. Never had a mech or femme friend. Haven't even tried."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "Been busy. Figured I'll finish school before bothering with that. Not like I have time for a serious relationship, anyway."

I was silent a moment before speaking. "Do you want sparklings?"

He just smiled sheepishly, not looking at me. "Maybe one or two… I also want to adopt."

"Why?"

"Well, they need homes more than my non-existent creations do. Everyone needs a second chance, and homeless sparklings and younglings especially. It's not their fault their creators didn't want them or they died, or they had to be taken away from them."

I nodded. "Yeah… I new some people who were adopted back when I was in public school. I thought that was something I would do, but…" I shrugged. "Thundercracker would only beat me for it."

"Why? What's wrong with adopting?"

"Because he only wants his own creations. Which, he's already decided when he's going to work on sparking me again."

He gave me a look. "Seriously? he barely takes care of Zephyr. Why the hell would he want another?"

I looked down at Zephyr as I spoke. "Sparklings are a sign of strength… Only strong, fertile trineleaders can have them. The more they have, the stronger they are since they can produce so many and protect them all. It also ensures their coding is passed down, and the more coding passed down the stronger the energon-line and the next generation will be."

"Sparklings are not for showing off. If he wants to be so strong he should learn to take out the trash and clean out his daughter's waste tank. That's what _real_ mechs do."

"My sire has twenty-six breeding mates, and has already sired two-hundred and eleven offspring… And counting. Most mech trineleaders sire twenty to forty sparklings. Thundercracker sparking me a second time is nothing."

"I'm a single creation, myself." He grunted.

"So is Skywarp…"

"No wonder Vos is so crowded… Seekers having a ridiculous amount of sparklings."

"It's not all at once. They are spaced by five stellar cycles, and many times a long break is taken after four to five sparklings. Like, some trines have their twenty sparklings over a few vorns, even. Sire has been having sparklings for nearly five vorns now. He had a bunch with his first three breeding mates and trinemates, then he took a break, got more breeding mates and had more, then a break, then more breeding mates and sparklings. He just does that. He's about to go through another long break. He's already stopped breeding with some of his breeding mates. Carrier told me that he's giving her a long break now. I mean, the breeding mate's need to rest and reset things. Not good to just have sparklings constantly. And my sire is really kind to his harem. And he _loves_ his creations. I love my sire. He's awesome. Strict, but awesome."

"Does he rape and abuse his trinemates?"

I glared at him. "He is the Alpha. You do not question the Alpha. You submit and obey him. He is the supreme ruler of us."

"Of _you_." He pointed at me, then himself. "Not this guy."

I rolled my optics. "If you ever do meet my sire you better watch your glossa or else he will personally cut it out of that disrespectful mouth of yours."

"Why are you guys so violent?"

"Why are you such a pussy?"

"Someone is in a mood…"

I growled my engine, wings flicking. "I'll tear off your arm."

"Sure you will, shortstuff." He roughed up my helm as if I was a sparkling.

I snapped at him, wings flicking again. "Don't think I'm above biting you."

He poked me on the olfactory sensor, holding his digit there. "Vicious, little See-ACK!" He jerked his servo away after I bit it. "Primus, what the slag!?"

I just smiled, wings fluttering as my engine purred. "I did warn you."

He gave me a sideways glare before inspecting his digit. "And you wonder why people avoid Seekers."

I just chuckled. Then, to restore the peace, I hugged him, wings fluttering. He of course couldn't stay mad at me so hugged me back."

* * *

I moaned as Thundercracker fragged me, lying on my back with him over me. I just submitted, letting him do whatever he wanted. Zephyr was recharging in my room, tired after being on campus all orbital cycle. Thundercracker had come into my room and ordered me onto his berth. I didn't fight him. My aft was still sore from getting a beating earlier because I got home too late. And he made me lean over the railing on the balcony for that one so the neighbors knew my crime. I died from the humiliation alone. And a second time from the beating.

He soon finished with me, having gotten four overloads with me. I only overloaded twice. He kissed me, those large servos touching all over my body. I was his to touch and grope as he pleased. He soon pulled out of me, grabbed Skywarp who had been waiting, and went to town on him. I sat up and closed my plates, watching them a moment before getting up and leaving. I returned to my room, lied on my berth, and snuggled with my daughter. She curled into me, still recharging peacefully. I kissed her brow, and vented a sigh.

"Just the same slag here all the time… Aft beatings and fragging… And having sparklings… I wish I could do more things…" I kissed her brow. "You won't have my life. I promise."

* * *

"Frag!" Skyfire jumped back when I landed on his desk. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I suddenly wanted to do something fun and found out there's a party for after the semester ends. We should go." I smiled.

"Party? Oh, the one Blaze is hosting? Slag no. That's going to be crazy."

I crouched on the desk as if I was perching on a beam. "Exactly. We need some crazy. Everything has been so stale lately. Homework, classes, missionary…."

"Honestly, if I was getting missionary I wouldn't be complaining." He grumbled.

I got my faceplates in his. "I want to go to a party. I haven't been to one since high school. A crazy one." I fluttered my wings. "I'm going, and you're coming with me."

"Why not take your trinemates?"

"Are you slagging me? If TC finds out I would get a flogging. No, Skywarp will watch Zephyr and I'm making the excuse that you and I are seeing some speaker about science stuff. I haven't decided on which science stuff yet, but my trinemates care so little I probably don't even need to say what exactly."

"I don't feel comfortable about this…"

"Good. It makes it more exciting." I smiled, then hopped off the desk. "Just trust me, Sky. Maybe you'll get laid."

"Oh, no! My first time isn't going to be over energized with a skank." He turned in his seat to look at me.

I looked back at him, but only turning my helm, my aft still very much still in his view. "Who do you want to be your first then?"

For some reason he didn't speak immediately and had to swallow before speaking. "Um… Not sure yet." He stuttered.

I turned around, servos on my hips. "Well, whenever you decide I'll help you get that lucky person in your berth with you. Might even explain to you how to properly pleasure a frame so you don't fumble around with those servos." I gestured in a rather, I admit, feminine manner.

"Uh…. sure…" He stuttered again.

I raised an optical ridge, not sure why he was acting stupid. "Well, this carrier needs to go pump since Zephyr isn't here." I grabbed at my breast plates. "Feels like I'm about to explode." I started to walk away. "See ya, Skyfire." I waved.

"Y-yeah…. See ya…." He servo lowered under his desk as he twitched.

I thought I felt his optics following my aft as I walked away.

* * *

The semester soon did end, I made up my excuse, and Skyfire and I got out to the party. We landed outside the house where it was, my wings perking.

"This looks promising." I smirked.

"I-I'm not sure…" Skyfire said slowly.

I rolled my optics and grabbed his servo. "Come on, big guy." I led him inside, our audio receptors greeted by blaring music and loud chatter.

Lights were flashing, there were students everywhere, tables filled with goodies and engex, and people getting crazy. It was like the parties I used to attend in high school. I never said I was the perfect youngling during that time, just a good student.

I led Skyfire to a table and grabbed a cup of engex. "Now we're talking." I smirked.

"Starscream, I don't think-"

I handed him a cup. "Drink, Skyfire. Parties are dull events otherwise." I then took a swig, my wings fluttering.

"Please, don't get wasted."

"Wouldn't be a party if I stayed sober."

"I don't want Thundercracker to hurt you."

"I can hold my drink. I've been drinking since before coming of legal age. Don't tell my sire that, though. He would march right over and beat my aft off me if he found out."

"Just, be careful." He said worriedly.

"Chillax, Sky. Go find some femmes to talk to." I started to walk away.

He followed me, not comfortable being on his own. I quickly finished my first cup and grabbed another, practically inhaling them. I needed to get over energized. I hadn't been wasted since the War Academy.

Skyfire was freaking out. A table got smashed, people were leaping off the balcony, people were going as pairs into rooms to emerge a few kliks later and allow another pair to lock themselves inside. It was loud, it was rowdy, someone even dumped their waste tank in the living room. And the inebriated games were only beginning to get harder.

"There is so much sin here." Skyfire muttered after a time.

I looked up at him, smirking with my arms crossed. "Get that rod out of your tailpipe, Sky. Try to live a little." I giggled. "Go frag someone."

"You're over energized."

"Far from it."

"You have had four glasses."

"Skyfire, I'm a Seeker. We can take a lot more than four glasses of this weak engex." My wings perked when I saw the latest drinking contest end. "Let me show you how much I can handle."

I marched straight over and sat at the small table. "Who here thinks they can out drink a Seeker? Surely one of you grounders has the brass bearings to take on a _real_ mech!"

Skyfire was internally screaming at me. The students around me exchanged glances before a very large grounder, tank no doubt, sat across from me. I doubt he attended the Science Academy. Probably the friend of a student. Then again, I was an unlikely student myself, being warrior built as well.

I smirked, leaning over the table as my wings flared. "Hey, sweetsparks." I winked.

He snorted his engine. "Prepare your aft, sunshine. It's going to get destroyed after I win."

I chuckled. "I prefer romantic walks on the beach first. But if I don't remember a thing I won't mind either."

Several shot glasses were poured and put before us. He grabbed one and took it quickly. My engine purred as I took mine and downed it hastily. I smiled, this stuff sparkling formula compared to what I drank in the War Academy and at home on occasion.

He took another, and then I, then him, and I did so again. We kept going, taunting between each shot.

"Seekers are meant for fragging. Ready to be my little slut?"

I drank. "I'm already the slut to another."

He drank. "Little whore."

I chuckled before drinking. "I love it. Even have a daughter now."

He drank. "I'll frag her too."

"Oh, you'd die first." I said calmly before drinking.

He drank. "Nah… Dat won't happen."

My wings fluttered, hearing the engex taking effect. "Keep drinking, sweetspark. You'll need it when your carrier emasculates you tonight."

He growled, but kept drinking. It was several drinks later when he started to grumble pathetically.

"Ugh… Little prinshesh gonna fly away with a sore aft after I smack it."

"I'm a prince. And the royal rear is not for peasants to touch." I drank again.

We kept drinking, he was barely sitting upright.

"Nnnnnrrgh…. Hmmphrr…."

"Shay again?" I groaned.

"Yush…" He tried pointing at me. "Shuck mah… shpike…" He drank, then collapsed.

I chuckled, wings fluttering, listening to the cheers of my victory. "No… No…. Shuck…. MY spike!" I tossed a shot glass. "Fragger…. Wuuuuud?" I groaned when Skyfire grabbed me and pulled me away. "But…. Dere's cake!"

"Starscream, we should go. Th-there's an orgy in the backyard and… We need to leave."

"I have threesomes…." I snickered.

"The neighbors are undoubtedly calling the police about that orgy and noise complaints. I don't want to get arrested."

"Police…? Frag da police!"

He rolled his optics. "Stop, Star."

"I'm not… dat over energized. I can still funshon. Like… two prus two ehz four. Four…. is a number." I held up three digits to explain this concept.

Skyfire kept dragging me through the house, accidentally bumping into someone and causing them to fall over and knock energon off a table.

"HEY!" They roared, leaping to their peds, then shoving at Skyfire. "Watch where you're going, you fat idiot!"

"I-I'm sorry. Won't happen again." Skyfire apologized quickly, holding a servo up peacefully.

This mech was obviously over energized. "Yeah, there won't be another time! I'll shoot you if there is!"

Skyfire opened his mouth to say something, but glorious inebriated me stepped forward to handle the situation. Because that's what drunk friends do. They handle situations that are increasingly aggressive like this. Because they are in the best place mentally to do so.

"Shky, Shky, Shkyflbber… Let da Sheeker handle dish…. Ruffian." I so brilliantly articulated.

"What you call me, lowlife?!" The mech swung a fist at me.

Worst thing to do to a trained warrior. And no one at this party was one of those.

I caught his fist, twisted his arm, and punched him in the faceplates so hard that I knocked him out. It was all instinctual. I just reacted. Skyfire's jaw dropped. The mech was larger than me, I might add.

"He just punched that guy!" Someone shouted.

"Starscream, we need to get out!" Skyfire shouted. But it was too late.

Another mech came at me, and I activated my thrusters, grabbed his arm, swung him around, and threw him into some other partiers. A lamp was thrown at me, which I dodged. I grabbed a chair and smashed it into another mech that was assaulting me, then shoved a thruster into someone else's face, burning them. I landed, surrounded by over energized, angry mechs who never had thrown a punch in their lives. It was so easy. I punched, kicked, and annihilated them. One even ran away crying for his carrier. I took them out in less than a klik, energon now covering their faceplates and my fists.

Skyfire just dumbly stared, as did many other students who were watching. It was strangely quiet.

Once the last of my enemies had fallen, I flicked my wings, then fluttered them. I skipped to Skyfire and hugged him.

"I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TURNED ON! ARGH! Someone frag me!" I screamed.

"I need to get you home." Skyfire grabbed my arm and yanked me away.

"You could drown a sparkling in my codpiece! AHHHH!" I screamed.

I would like to remind everyone that I don't remember most of this night. Skyfire had to tell me what happened so I could write this part.

Skyfire dragged me outside, and according to him I was "foaming at the mouth" because I suddenly "thirsted for the energon of my enemies."

"AHHHH! WHY IS THE SKY SO B-BLUE?!"

"If this is normal intoxicated Starscream I want you to stay far away from engex." He grunted as he dragged me by the wings now. Apparently, I had started to bite him when he held my wrists.

I was just growling and acting like a rabid beast. The need to fight was strong in me, and I was so turned on by fighting. Nothing turns a Seeker on more than combat and death.

Skyfire took me back to his dorm and made me sit on a chair. I was groaning, the fight beginning to leave me, but I was still wet between the legs.

"Just… calm down." He ordered.

"You calm down!" I giggled, jumping on my chair. "Hey, hey, hey, hey! I…. No…." I flicked my wings.

"Was that normal engex?" He shined a light in my optics. "You are way off your rocker."

I only growled and snarled at him, my wings flicking.

He stood up. "I'm getting you some energon."

"Come here." I waved him over.

"What?" He leaned down again, faceplates close to mine.

Now, he claimed this happened. I feel like he's wishing it did, but I'll include it because knowing myself… It probably did happen.

I grabbed his face and kissed him on the lip plates.

"Gah!" He shoved me away as he leaped back. "What the hell!?"

I just giggled. "Frag me!"

"Starscream! Ugh… I'm getting you energon." He stomped off.

I perked my wings as I watched him go. Then, I removed my codpiece, reached down, and… well, someone had to frag me.

He came back a bit later, horrified at what he saw. "STARSCREAM!"

I was moaning, my glossa dangling out of my mouth as I rubbed my valve and outer sensor node. I arched my backstrut, optics not focused on anything, just giving it to myself.

"Argh…" He growled. "Damn Seekers." He slapped my faceplates. "Stop!"

I "awoke" from my trance, wings perking as I stared at him with wide optics.

"Here." He shoved a cube of energon in my faceplates. "Drink it."

I didn't take it. I looked down, seeing my servo still touching me, then looking up into his frustrated optics. I scrunched up my faceplates and started to cry.

I'm sure he wanted to kill me.

I closed my codpiece, got up, and went deeper into his room, looking around before rummaging through things.

"I would appreciate it if you washed your servos first." He grunted.

I kept looking around until I found a long, metal dowel, used for hanging things. I took it and brought it to him, holding it up to him. He gave me a look as he took it.

"Um… What is this for?" He asked slowly.

"I-I've been bad. I-I self serviced a-and made you u-upset." I cried harder, coolant leaking from my optics. "I-I'll submit. I'm sorry!" I kept crying, turning myself around and obediently leaning over the berth.

His optics widened before tossing the dowel aside and grabbing me. "Starscream! Stop it. You are _not_ in trouble!" He made me stand up and face him. "Look at me. Star…" He vented a sigh. "Starscream… I'm not him. I won't ever hurt you." He paused, watching me just cry. I couldn't talk, only bawl helplessly. He hugged me close, stroking my backplates. "I won't hurt you. I would never do that. Shhh, shhh… It's okay."

I hugged him back, still crying and trembling. He just held me, comforting me until I calmed down.

"We need to get you sober before I take you home." He said finally. "And you need to wash your servos…."

* * *

I was slapped across the faceplates and had cold water dumped on me a few times before I sobered up enough to be taken home. We both landed on the balcony, I feeling so embarrassed that I put Skyfire through that.

"I'll see you later." He said.

"Wait." I turned to him, wings drooping. "Thanks, Skyfire. I'm sorry about all of that."

"It's okay. I already forgave you." He bent down and hugged me. "Give Zephyr a hug for me."

I hugged him back. "I will. Fly in safe skies."

"You too." He let me go, then hopped off the balcony before transforming and flying off.

I watched him go, inhaled deeply before letting it out slowly, and entered the apartment.

"You're late."

My wings drooped. "I'm sorry, sir. I-it took longer than expected."

Thundercracker's expression did not change as he leaned against the back of the couch, arms crossed and holding the cable. "I'm sure it did. Do you know what I'm going to say next?"

I swallowed. "Over the arm of the couch, or to march to your quarters and get on the berth?"

"Arm. Skywarp and Zephyr are recharging on my berth."

Coolant began to leak from my optics as I approached and lied over the arm, making sure my aft was the highest point. He suddenly placed a gag in my mouth and tied it tightly behind my helm, it digging painfully in the corners of my mouth and hurting the pistons of my jaw.

"I don't want you onlining them with your sparkling crying." He grunted.

I grabbed the couch and tensed, wishing I was with Skyfire again. I screamed when the first lash tore across my aft, followed by many more brutal ones. I just cried and screamed, wishing Skyfire would come and save me.

But he didn't.

* * *

I set a cube of energon before my trineleader before sitting at the table. He was reading something on a datapad, probably the news, and didn't really seem to notice us. Skywarp sat across from me refueling, and Zephyr was in her booster seat stuffing her face with soft energon treats. Something gentle as I began to wean her onto regular energon.

I eyed my glass, silent as I thought. Skywarp spared me a glance before looking back at his energon. I looked at my trineleader who still didn't seem interested in anything but his datapad.

"So…" I broke the uncomfortable silence. "The festival is gonna be here soon." I forced a smile.

"Mhmm." My trineleader grunted, still not looking at me.

My wings lowered some and my smile vanished. "So… Um, I-I thought we should go and… have some time together… You know.. Get out some." He didn't speak or react in anyway. I wanted to melt through the floor. "And, um… I was wondering… Like… If we go… C-could Skyfire accompany us?"

Skywarp gave me a look like I just held a gun to my faceplates. Thundercracker's cold gaze finally fell on me.

"You want to attend the festival… A grounder tradition… And bring that disrespectful shuttle along?" He said slowly.

I bit my lip plate. "I mean, it's open to all frametypes. It's just a fun thing to do these orbital cycles. I-I think it would be a nice break from… The routine and everything."

"And you want the shuttle to accompany… because?"

"H-he's not a bad mech, sir. I-I think maybe… You two should try anew. Get to know each other better."

"I think he's getting on my last nerve."

"He won't be a problem, sir. Promise."

"So, if you need to be punished in front of him he won't protest?"

"I'll make sure he won't." I said resolutely.

Thundercracker took his glass and sipped from it. "I may consider your proposition." He grunted.

I fluttered my wings. "Thank you, sir! I paused. "Would you like to take me?"

He smirked. "I would. After I finish this." He gave a small wave of his datapad.

I nodded. I didn't feel like interface, but submitting to him made him happy and a happy Thundercracker was more willing to do what I wanted him to do. I was willing to take a hard frag if it meant more time with Skyfire.

* * *

"Hey."

"Ah!" Skyfire jumped back as he spun around. "What the hell!? How did you get in here?!"

I shrugged. "Hacked your door and unlocked it." I nonchalantly replied as I entered his room.

"Why didn't you just knock!?"

"Um… That requires effort..?"

"Oh, like hacking doesn't?" He put his fists on his hips.

"Less effort for me than that knocking only peasants participate in."

"It's times like this I'm reminded you're a prince."

"I used to have a call guard. He would announce my arrival to sire or anyone else. Now, I must call myself. I hate it. I also used to never open doors. Or need to clean my own aft."

"Why are you here?"

"So!" I hopped onto his berth. "I was talking to my sexy trineleader and he agreed to something for me. I gave him oral to get him to agree."

"Don't need to know!" He shouted.

"Calm down." I flicked my wings, arms crossed. "Anyway, you know the festival coming up?"

"Yes?"

"I got him to agree to go there with me because I've always wanted to attend. _And_! Get this… He said you may come along as well." I fluttered my wings.

"He won't kill me?"

"Negative. Sky, please come. I-I want to try and show you why Thunder is a good guy, and get you two to stop hating each other. Please. If TC hates you anymore he may ban me from seeing you and I can't handle that."

"What do you want me to do? Grovel? Kiss his aft?" He sarcastically grunted.

"No…" I pointed my two index digits as my servos were clasped together. "I want you to be nice, respectful, polite, and be a good shuttle. And if for whatever reason he has to punish me or Warp in front of you, you stay silent and act like nothing is happening. Please… Just do this for me."

He rubbed over his faceplates. "Fine… But he better not hurt you."

"Yay!" I leaped up and hugged him. "You're the best! I can't wait to show you why I trined them." I then ran to the door. "Oh!" I spun around to face him. "I suggest getting a new lock. I accidentally broke it when hacking. Bye!" I then ran off.

"Ugh…" He groaned, rubbing over his faceplates.

* * *

I was very excited for the festival. It was a celebration of the founding of Iacon and those who fought for her survival. Seekers never got involved because we're from Vos and therefore didn't care about Iacon, but there were venders, shows, amusement rides, and partying. I wanted to get out, explore, discover, learn, and interact. I was not an introvert at all. I was quite an extrovert and an adventurer. And anything that would help make my trineleader and best friend get close together was worth getting involved in.

I walked down the street, wings perked as I carried Zephyr. She was amazed by all the lights, sounds, and everything going on. It was a lot to take in and she couldn't stop pointing and getting my attention.

My trinemates followed behind me, Thundercracker not that interested in the things around him and Skywarp busy stuffing his face with whatever munchies he could get his servos on.

"There he is!" I proclaimed before running over. "Hey, Sky!" I hugged him.

"Hey, Starscream." He smiled, crouching in order to hug me back. "Hey, Zephyr." He patted her helm.

My engine was purring as I turned around to face my trineleader. "So… You want to take the lead?"

He just looked down at me. "You may do as you so desire." He practically waved me away.

My wings lowered. "But… I wanted us to do things together…" I walked over and hugged him. "Please, Thunder?"

He rolled his optics. "A few things. What do you want to do?" He kissed me on the cheekplates.

"I want… You to win me a prize!" I grabbed his servo and dragged him along.

He followed, letting me have some control of my life for once. Skyfire glanced at Skywarp who was stuffing his faceplates. The two followed.

It was a fun night. Thundercracker did loosen up and start to play with us and he won me and Warp several prizes. Even got Zephyr some things. I think Skyfire started to see that Thundercracker wasn't such a bad mech. At least, I hoped that was what he was thinking.

"Eeeeh!" I squealed, struggling as Thundercracker tickled me, holding me firmly in his lap.

He kept kissing me on the neck cables in the way that tickled so much, making me squirm more. "Come here." He smiled, pressing a kiss to my lip plates.

"Skyfire! Save me!" I giggled.

He faintly smiled. "I think you can rescue yourself."

Thundercracker kissed me some more before ceasing his torture. He made me sit properly on his lap, arms wrapped around me in a protective hug.

We had been playing and exploring for a couple of joors now and needed a break. We sat on some benches tucked away in a corner and out of view. Thundercracker didn't want us in the open since we're Seekers. It's always dangerous for Seekers because so many want to hurt us. Skyfire was confused why we walked so far to rest, but he didn't understand the kind of discrimination Seekers went through. He went through his own for being a shuttle, but Seekers had it far, far worse than most.

I nuzzled my trineleader. "Love you."

"Love you, more." He kissed me, than pulled Skywarp onto his other thigh, holding us both close. "Love my trine." He then kissed us both.

"Love you guys." Skywarp hugged us both, his engine purring.

I hugged them both back, purring my own engine. "Love you both."

Thundercracker perked his wings, looking around, on alert. We perked our own wings, reacting to him, but stayed snuggled against him. Once he ensured we were safe he lowered his servos to our codpieces and squeezed them. I didn't really feel turned on, but with Thunder in such a good mood maybe it will help show Skyfire that he didn't rape me.

"I'm taking you both." He said, the lust building in him.

"Take me." I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his faceplates. "I'm yours."

"You both are." He stood up, making us as well. He grabbed me, pressed my back against his front, and bit me on the nape. I removed my codpiece, submitting to him. He was in me in no time, hugging me close as he began to thrust. "Mine." He growled.

Skyfire's optics widened as he covered Zephyr's optics. "Guys. you shouldn't be doing this out here. It's public indecency."

"It's natural." Thundercracker grunted, his wings fluttering from stimulation.

"Sky, hah… It's fine. Just interface." I replied. "Just bonding between trinemates."

He looked away, feeling so flustered by it.

Skywarp started to kiss me on the lip plates, then Thundercracker. I pushed back against my trineleader, grabbing his servos and making him hold my chestplates. He began to squeeze and pleasure them with electrical shocks, making me moan. It felt wondrous.

Then, Skywarp did something unexpected. He pressed his back against my front and removed his codpiece. Usually when we had our threesomes I was at the end with Skywarp in the middle. I perked my wings, then released my spike. I was nervous, never having done this before, being in the middle, but I soon entered him, hugged him, and thrust. It felt absolutely incredible. To have someone thrusting in me while I was in someone else. Feeling them pressed against me on both sides. I loved it. I needed more of it. This was heaven to me.

Thundercracker just bit on my nape as he thrust hard and fast. I hugged Skywarp, thrusting into him, not that hard, but trying to go at a good pace. We kept going, moaning, gasping, grasping, tugging, biting, flicking wings, and bonding. I was the first to climax followed by Thundercracker then Skywarp. I couldn't stop fluttering my wings, having enjoyed that so much. Thundercracker pulled out of me, closed his plates, then looked around, alert for any grounders who might have heard us. I pulled out of Skywarp and we both closed our plates, wings perking as he fed off our trineleader's body language.

Skyfire seemed confused as he watched us, not understanding the trine unity and how body language was so important in our culture. We could have entire conversations and never utter a word.

Thundercracker's wings relaxed and we did as well, knowing that no one had heard us. He turned to us, kissed us on the lip plates, turned around, and snapped his digits. We instantly got in formation behind him. Skywarp was to his right and just a little behind while I was to the left and a little behind. We stiffened, showing what good, obedient, well trained trinemates we were to our trineleader.

Skyfire stood up, holding Zephyr, and followed as Thundercracker led us away. "So… What now?" He asked.

I looked back and shrugged. "Whatever Thundercracker wants."

"Okay…"

Thundercracker took us back to the street where the festival was still going on. He turned to us, wings alert again. "I think we best go home."

My wings drooped. "But… We can do more things. We haven't been to-"

"Starscream, I know you're having fun, but we can't push our luck. We've risked enough being out here this long."

I just gave him a very sad face, but he was right. We were in danger every astrosecond we were out. Especially with how late it was getting. "Yes, sir…"

"Guys, it's perfectly safe here." Skyfire spoke up. "There's security everywhere."

"That's what concerns me." Thundercracker grunted as he led us away.

I took Zephyr and followed my trineleader. It may not have been proper trine formation, but I held Thundercracker's servo. I always felt safer holding it. Plus, it allowed my optics to wander and not lose track of his location. Because I have been separated from my trine for not paying attention before. I was a very sad, lost sparkling in that store. And I'm not ashamed that I found an associate to make an announcement on the intercom system for them to come to the front and retrieve me. I was close to tears! Anyway…

We did make it home safe that night. Thundercracker purred his engine as he kissed us, nuzzled his olfactory sensor against our faceplates, and fussed over us. He was still in a good mood and it made me so happy.

I looked over at Skyfire who had stayed with us. I hugged him, purring my engine. "I'll see you later."

He crotched down to hug me back. "Yeah, maybe we can do something later."

"With my trinemates?"

"Do they always have to frag?" He grumbled.

"Not always… Just when we're in the mood."

"We'll figure something out. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, talk to you then."

He stood up. "Um… Thank you for letting me join you, Thundercracker. It was a lot of fun."

Thundercracker's wings shot up so fast, becoming stern and commanding instantly. "I'm sure you did." He grunted.

Skyfire didn't like that response. "Well… If you guys ever need anything let me know."

"We will. Thanks, Sky." I smiled.

"See ya, Skyfire!" Skywarp waved.

Skyfire waved back then walked onto the balcony and flew away. I watched him leave, then turned to my trinemates, hugging a recharging Zephyr.

"Let's get some recharge." Thundercracker took our servos and led us to his room.

We waited for him to get on the berth before lying down on either side of him and cuddling. He held us close, making us feel so safe and cherished. I kissed Zephyr on the cheekplates, placing her between myself and her sire. She curled into my chassis, recharging quietly. My wings lowering, Just thinking about how in three stellar cycles he would be putting another in me. But he was trineleader and I did as he commanded.

* * *

Things were normal, the same routine of caring for Zephyr, cleaning the apartment, preparing Thundercracker's energon, submitting whenever he wanted to interface, and flying together whenever Thunder wasn't tired from work.

It was a few orns after the festival that I was allowed to hang out with Skyfire. Zephyr stayed with Skywarp, so it was just me and Skyfire. We didn't want to stay indoors, so we went exploring. And, this orbital cycle would be one of my worst.

"Come on, Sky!" I smiled as I ran around a corner.

"Slow down!" He chased after me, getting tired already.

I spun around, loving being on the street. I was so use to living in the skies that the streets still fascinated me so much. The ground was such an interesting place to be. We had been exploring and hanging out for a while now, and I just decided to go down any street in the city and see the sights. Skyfire was not so thrilled about this running around to explore. But I flew enough. I wanted to run!

I skidded to a stop outside a small store and looked inside the window, my wings perking. "What's that?"

"Oh… Primus…" Skyfire panted, stopping beside me. "Oh, looks like a tire repair shop. Grounder stuff."

"Weird…" I cocked my helm. "Hey, we should throw rocks from an overpass." I turned around and started running again. "I wanna see if-oof!" I fell back, landing on my aft. My wings perked, looking up at the mech I had run into. "Oh, I-I'm sorry, sir!" I quickly got up. "Didn't see you there."

Being polite wouldn't save me this time. He looked down at me, his optics narrowing. "Disgusting Seeker. Get out of here." He snapped.

My wings lowered, quickly taking a couple of steps back. Skyfire didn't back down.

"Hey! Don't you talk to him like that!" He shouted. "It was an accident!"

"And you're friends with that perverted sociopath? Get lost." He waved his servo for Skyfire to leave,

"He is not!"

"Sky…" I tugged at his servo. "We need to go."

"He's being a complete slagger. No. Let me tell him off." Skyfire said, his anger building in him.

I shook my helm. "Th-Thundercracker said if anyone starts to attack us we need to get away and go home or to him."

"Starscream, it's fine."

"What kind of mech are you, defending filth like that?" The mech demanded as he gestured at me,

"Watch how you talk about my friend." Skyfire jabbed a digit against the mech's chestplates.

"Or what? Gonna make it bite me?" He sneered.

"You'll have to deal with me." Skyfire growled.

"A Seeker and its master, people!" Someone called from the gathering crowd.

"Murderous beast!" Another vocalizer sounded.

"Get it out of our city!"

"Damn things need to be culled!"

"Filthy perverted monsters!"

I clung to Skyfire, trembling. Seekers have been murdered and raped after being surrounded by such crowds. My creators warned us about these lynch mobs, and Thundercracker gave us strict rules to follow to try and ensure we wouldn't end up being the next victim of these hate crimes. But, this was not my orbital cycle.

I jumped when something hit my wing. More trash, bottles, and other items were soon thrown at me. I ran to the other side of Skyfire, hoping to avoid the projectiles, but I was still not safe. Before Skyfire could cover me, the first mech lunged forward, grabbed me, and yanked me away from Skyfire.

I remember seeing Skyfire's horrified optics as I was pulled away. Then there was pain. The crowd started to attack me. They kicked me, punched me, hit me with things. I don't know what things, just anything they were holding. And they were shouting. Screaming things like, "kill it," "out of our city!," "Foul creature!," "Murderous monster!," and other things.

I couldn't fight back. I was overpowered. I just tried to block the blows, curling into a ball to protect myself. Crying out from the pain.

Then, I was yanked free. I saw light again and found myself being held by Skyfire. I clung to him, just knowing he was safety. I couldn't think about anything else but to hold onto Skyfire and never let him go. I don't remember really anything else as he got me away from the lynch mob. Just he got away from them and I eventually found myself in his dorm, still clinging to him as I shook uncontrollably.

"Shhh, shhh, you're safe." He stroked my wing, his other servo trying to clean the dirt and energon off my faceplates with a damp cloth. "You're safe, Starscream. I got you away."

My denta were clattering from how absolutely terrified I was. I had thought for sure I would end up like the other Seekers who had been killed by such crowds. I had heard so many of those stories since sire was the Alpha and personally looked into those attacks to try and get justice for the victims. Sadly, no one gave justice to Seekers.

Skyfire managed to pry my servos off him and stood up. He crouched before me, gently cleaning me off of filth. I started to cry then, coolant pouring from my optics, still trembling so hard. His wings lowered, looking so helpless. He set aside the cloth and just hugged me close.

"I am _so_ , so sorry, Starscream." He said softly. "I didn't realize it was that bad… I thought those kind of people only existed in Kaon… I won't let that ever happen again. I promise."

I clung to him, bawling my spark out, still trembling. I couldn't even speak, still so scared.

Skyfire had to wipe at his own optics, starting to cry himself from how hurt I was, and that people tried to kill me in front of him like that. That such blind hatred existed in this world we tried to claim was "civilized."

* * *

Skyfire had to carry me home. He opened the door after I was barely able to put in the code and carried me inside.

"Skywarp? Thundercracker?" He called out.

Thundercracker quickly stepped out of his room, wings perking. He ran over when he saw me. "What happened!?" He demanded, activating his thrusters to be level with Skyfire.

"We were exploring Iacon and… A-a mob attacked him. I was barely able to get him away." Skyfire explained. "I'm sorry. I tried to stop them…"

Thundercracker took me, holding me close to him as he landed. I clung to him, still trembling, unable to speak. He purred his engine, trying to calm me down.

"I'm here, Starscream. No one will hurt you, my love." He kissed me. "You're safe now."

Skywarp was over instantly, kissing me and nuzzling his olfactory sensor against my faceplates. "Scree, it's okay. You're with your trine now. Look!" He handed me Zephyr. "Little Zephy is all happy to see you!"

I clung to my daughter, still trembling.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "You're no longer allowed on the streets." He growled. "This is why we keep to the skies." He looked up at Skyfire. "Thank you for bringing him home to us alive. We'll take it from here."

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Leave." Thundercracker flicked his wings before storming off.

Skyfire's optics narrowed, but he stayed quiet, not wanting to make anything worse. Skywarp approached him.

"He's just mad Starscream was attacked. He'll calm down." He paused. "Thank you for taking care of Scree. Words can't begin to describe our thanks."

Skyfire looked down at him. "Just… Take good care of him. I'll call tomorrow to check on him."

"Okay. I'll let him know. Thank you."

Skyfire left, venting a sigh, wishing he could had prevented that event. Skywarp ran upstairs and to Thundercracker's room. His wings lowered when seeing me. I was lying on the berth still trembling and crying, clinging to my daughter.

"Is he gonna be alright?" Skywarp asked softly.

"He's in shock." Thundercracker stroked my helm lovingly. "He'll live. We just need to take care of him until he gets better."

"Think it could happen again? Is this place worse than Vos?"

"I don't think any place is safe for us." He kissed me on the cheekplates. "We just need to stay together. Lone Seekers are in danger. Travel as a trine and you're less likely to be attacked." He looked at Skywarp. "Maybe this will be a lesson to him to not be leaving so much and to give up on being a damn scientist."

But, it wasn't. Far from it. It was simply a reminder why things had to change. And I would change them.

* * *

 **Pussy is thought to be short for** **pusillanimous, but this can be debated. Regardless, if it is short for it or could be used as a slang for it, it would therefore be possible to be used by robotic beings.**

 **Starscream is still very innocent. He doesn't understand he's a MILF and so fragging sexy! He has yet to learn what a weapon his reproductive parts can be.**

 **Seekers are turned on by combat and seeing strong, powerful warriors fighting. So, Starscream was crazy for dick after that...**

 **Getting lost in the store is not a fun experience... And Star is definitely that kind of pathetic to get so lost he has to have the "sky voice" call for his trinemate to come get him. I just think about the scene in "Family Guy" where Peter is crying because he lost Lois and they had to help him find her again. XD That's me. I am that person crying because I lost my sister or something. Well, actually I have bad panic attacks because of PTSD... Yay for service dog saving me!**

 **I stayed up all night to write this, guys. Merry Christmas. Santa never visited me. Guess I'm bad. But, enjoy this gift from me. I missed out an entire night's sleep to get it done.**


	8. Visiting Family

**Chapter 8**

It took me some time to recover from the attack, but I was back to myself within an orn. I snuck out of the apartment while Thundercracker was at work and went to see Skyfire. As usual, I hacked his door to get in.

"Sky!" I ran in and hugged him, startling him.

"Ack! Oh… It's you." He hugged me. "How are you doing?"

"Better." I fluttered my wings.

"You look a lot better." He pulled me onto his lap to hug me better.

I just snuggled into his chassis, feeling safe in those arms. I… felt safer in his arms than I did Thundercracker's, and that upset me.

"I never got to thank you properly for saving me."

He smirked. "There's no need to thank me, Starscream. You're my friend and I will always defend you."

"Still." I then kissed him on the cheekplates. "Thank you."

He froze, completely surprised by that. He made a sound to reset his vocalizer and I thought I heard his cooling fans whirling to life. "Uh… Y-you're welcome." He stuttered, which I wasn't sure why.

My wings fluttered as I hugged him again. "You really are the best." I looked up at him. "So… Thunder wants to go to Vos for an orn or so… See family and everything. I was wondering… If you would like to tag along and meet my creators."

"He won't hurt you, right?"

I shook my helm. "No… I asked him if it was alright and he just said not to piss him off. I would love it if you met my creators. Primarily my carrier. She would like you."

"You think?" He petted my helm.

I purred my engine. "I know it. I talk about you all the time to her. She thinks you're awesome. Because you are."

He just smiled sheepishly. "Thanks, Star…" He was silent a moment before speaking. "If I'm going to meet your creators, you should meet mine."

"I'd like that. Both of them shuttles?"

"Carrier is."

"What is your sire?"

"He's…. a grounder."

"You're a mongrel?"

"What the hell?!"

I startled. "What? You're a mix."

"Don't call anyone that, Starscream." He ordered strictly. "No, I'm a Cybertronian just like you. Sire is a tanker truck. My creators met at their job working at the spaceport."

"They nice?"

"Very much so."

"If Thunder permits it I'd like to meet them."

"Alright, well…. When do we leave?"

"Three orbital cycles." I hugged him again, this time my arms wrapping around his neck as I pressed my cheeckplates against his.

He hugged me back, stroking my wings so gently.

* * *

"Are you femmes ready?" Thundercracker asked as he walked into the living room.

"Yes, sir!" I saluted, having just finished packing everything I and Zephyr needed.

"I am!" Skywarp proclaimed.

Skyfire was there, ready to travel with us. I think the only reason Thundercracker was permitting him to come along was to keep me from complaining and having to tire his arm with aft beatings.

Thundercracker approached me and Warp, his servos grasping our waists as he pulled us close to him. "Mmmm," He kissed us both on the lip plates. "Damn, I have the most beautiful trinemates."

I giggled with a sheepish smile as Skywarp just fluttered his wings.

"We have the sexiest trineleader." I replied, hugging him.

"And he has the biggest spike!" Skywarp snickered.

Thundercracker grinned, kissing us again. "All true. Stay close to me. Let me know if you begin to tire or require anything. It's a long flight."

"We need to break for kissies and huggles!" I snuggled against him, wings fluttering as I giggled.

"You'll get lots of those at the end of our trip." He gave my aft a couple of firm pats. "Alright, let's head out."

I released him and ran to Skyfire, who was holding Zephyr. Normally, trineleaders didn't like anyone outside the trine holding their young, but I think Thundercracker knew Skyfire absolutely adored her and was incapable of hurting anything. Which made things easier because he could hold her for me.

"Ready to fly, sweetspark?" I asked her.

"Shire esh godda big buh ahn guh da moon!" She told me.

"What, femme-friend!? Sire went to the moon?!" I picked her up.

"Yeeyah!" She giggled before hugging me around my neck.

My wings fluttered. "Can't wait until you meet grandcarrier. And see how you react when you meet grandsire. My sire…. Remember when you said sire had a big aft? Wait until you see _my_ sire. His aft is really fat."

She just laughed. She loved pointing out how much larger Thundercracker was compared to me and Skywarp. My trineleader is just very large for a Seeker. And I am just a tiny Seeker. We have a big size difference. But my sire… Absolute monster. And I couldn't wait for her to see how huge a Seeker could get.

I kissed her cheekplates, holding her close as I followed my trine out the door. Skyfire came with us, and we waited for Thunder to lock the door behind us.

"Alright, who are you riding with, biter?" Thundercracker inquired of our daughter.

She giggled. "Big aft." She pointed at him.

He rolled his optics. "So rude to the one who put you in your carrier." He kissed her brow. "Want to ride with sire?"

She shook her helm, then hugged me. I fluttered my wings, loving how much she always wanted to be with me.

"You just want him for the fuel. Get her strapped in and let's go." Thunder ordered.

We got the harness on her and got her hooked up to the harness I wore, ensuring she wouldn't fall as I flew. We transformed and took off, my daughter kicking me for the entirety of the trip. We did try handing her over to her sire and Skywarp, but she screamed until she was returned to me. I was just stuck with her. Which… I honestly didn't mind.

We arrived at Vos after traveling for a few joors, tired and wanting to rest. We were going to stay with Thundercracker's creators, and visit my creators in a couple of orbital cycles. Why we didn't stay in the palace is because there are so many people living there I just really wanted to stay somewhere quiet and not have to deal with the guards I used to prank when a sparkling.

Thundercracker took us to the apartment his creators lived in, all of us transforming and landing on the balcony. He approached the door and knocked. It was soon opened by a large Seeker mech, his sire, Steelwing.

"Thought you would be earlier." He smiled.

"We had extra baggage." Thundercracker grunted before hugging his sire. "How are you, old mech?"

"Still better looking than you." He hugged him back. "Come in." He stepped aside and gestured us in. "What is a shuttle doing here?"

"Starscream's friend. Just let him in. I am not in the mood to deal with Starscream whining." Thundercracker grumbled as he entered.

"Should learn to put your ped down." Steelwing told him before turning to me. "May I hold my granddaughter?"

I lowered my wings in submission. Steelwing was as large as Thundercracker and, believe it or not, he was far more traditional than Thundercracker. Thunder was easy going compared to him. I slowly nodded and handed my daughter over.

"Hey, Zephyr." He held her against his broad chestplates. "Your sire has told me you're already talking."

Zephyr looked at him with wide optics, not use to seeing people as big as her sire, and not use to seeing a new Seeker. She scrunched up her faceplates and began to bawl, reaching out for me.

I liked that. I honestly didn't want him holding my daughter. I took her back, bouncing her in my arms. "Shhh, carrier is here." I kissed her cheekplates as she wrapped her arms around my neck. Primus, I love her.

Steelwing only spared a glare at Skyfire as he entered before closing the door behind us. Thundercracker led us into the living room where a Seeker femme came running over.

"Oh, my little mechling!" She hugged Thundercracker, much shorter than him. She was about as tall as Skywarp, so a bit bigger than me. "How is my sparkling doing?" She kissed him on the cheekplates.

Thundercracker just changed. He doesn't admit to it, but he's a carrier mechling. Everyone in my trine is. We all love and are closer to our carriers than our sires. Maybe that's one of the things that pulled us together to become a trine. And we're all proud to be carrier mechlings. Thunder just didn't talk about it since trineleaders are supposed to be all emotionless and tough. But it was painfully obvious when he was around or talking to his carrier.

"I'm doing well, carrier." He hugged her, wings fluttering. "And you're looking beautiful as ever."

"Oh, hush." She cupped his cheekplates, just smiling at him. "You need to visit your carrier more often. You mechs all left me and hardly ever come by."

"I call you every orbital cycle."

"That's _not_ enough! I need you here for me to hug. Oh!" She shoved him aside when noticing me. "Is that my granddaughter?" She hurried over and scooped Zephyr from me. "Oh, sweetie, she's so beautiful." She turned to me, holding Zephyr as only a carrier does. "Is he helping take care of her? I know he can be lazy so you tell me and I'll set him straight." She turned to Thundercracker before I had the chance to speak. "Thunder! You better be helping take care of her! She's not Tank that you just leave to have me refuel and bathe!" She chastised him. Tank is the cyberdog Thundercracker had as a pet.

"I help." Thundercracker gave her a "calm-down-femme" look.

"Mhmm." She turned back to me and took my servo. "You need to refuel. Come on." She pulled me along as she went to another room. "Carriers that are nursing need to always have a full tank. I have a special brew that I'll show you how to make."

I would like to say this now, but I _adore_ Thundercracker's carrier. She is the most sweetest, kindest, _fantastic_ femme ever and I just always wanted to seal her in a box and take her home with me. She always has cared for me as if I was one of her own creations, and does everything she can to help me and Skywarp out. I love her. I wish her and my carrier were both my creators. I feel like Thundercracker's carrier is my actual carrier at times. And I gladly call her carrier.

Once she got me into the energon storage room she began to talk again. "So, how is he? Be honest with me." She handed Zephyr back.

I didn't speak immediately. "He's been taking care of us…"

"That's not what I asked." She started to grab some energon and additives. She didn't have any sparklings, but her sons visited regularly and brought their creations, so she always kept some for them and the nursing and sparked trinemates that came by.

My wings lowered and I spoke softly. "He… Doesn't help take care of her. He punished me once for asking him to clean out her waste tank. Skywarp and I do everything. Please, don't tell him I told you."

"I won't. You know you can trust me. His sire never helped to take care of his creations so I suspected Thundercracker would do the same." She started to mix the additives and energon together. "I had to have this talk with my other daughter and son-in-laws. It's poor parenting, and it will keep him from having a strong bond with his creations."

"I've already noticed… Zephyr cries a lot when he holds her."

"Does he punish you in front of her?"

"Yes…" I said barely louder than a whisper.

"That needs to stop. Steelwing used to punish me and Gale in front of our creations and it made them uncomfortable around him. His eldest sons barely talk to him now. Once he started to punish us behind closed doors and ensure the sparklings didn't hear did things get better. Not until they are adolescent should they see their carrier getting punished. That's when they are able to understand that their carrier needs it."

I was silent a moment, just watching her heat up the energon and mix some sweet treats into it. "Carrier…" I said softly. "D-do you think there could be too much punishment?"

"There can be too much of anything."

"I-I feel like I might be getting punished too often… Sometimes… I feel like my crime isn't worth an aft beating or dominating. Maybe… just a warning, or only a couple of lashes on the aft, not… thirty or… four hundred."

She looked at me. "Sweetie, I know punishments hurt and sometimes seem unfair, but it's not our place as submissives to judge the trineleader. They do what they know is best for us. Maybe he just feels like you only learn if you get a lot of it."

"I feel like two lashes teaches me the same as four hundred… Pain is pain and I don't want to feel any of it."

She picked up a tall glass of the energon she was preparing. "I can talk to him, but I can't promise anything. He may not listen to me. I talk to all my sons and advise them best I can when they are having difficulty with their submissives. But, it's their choice if they take my advice or not." She handed me the cube. "Drink, Starscream. You'll feel replenished."

I took it and sipped a little. It did taste very good, and I felt its warmth going down my fuel line.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's see what they are talking about." She took my servo and led me back to the living room where everyone was now sitting on the couches.

I sat to the left of Thundercracker and curled into his chassis. His strong arm wrapped around me, holding me close. Skywarp was on his right behind held as well, and Skyfire was sitting next to Skywarp. On the other couch Steelwing sat in the middle of his trinemates with Tank, a very fat cyberdog, lying across his and Gale's laps.

Thundercracker was talking to his sire about the news and things going on in Vos. I honestly didn't care. I just drank the energon Borealis had given me, and allowed Zephyr to nurse and try a little bit of my energon. I set aside the glass on the side table once done, and watched Zephyr refuel from me. She always tried to make weird faces at me when she nursed, which I just smiled at her. I winced when she chewed some, her denta getting harder as she grew. And being the rabid beast she was, she chewed a lot.

I was thankful when she finished and I could close my plates, no more being bitten for a while. She just hugged me, tired from the long trip. I was feeling tired too, offlining my optics as I rested against my trineleader.

I must have fallen in recharge because the next thing I remember Thundercracker was shaking me as he kept repeating my designation.

"What?" I looked up at him, wings perking.

"Let's go to recharge. It's getting late." He kissed me.

I was so tired. I just hugged him. He picked me up bridal style as I held Zephyr on my torso. Skywarp kissed me on the cheekplates, nuzzling me. I noticed Skyfire, my wings perking.

"But where is Skyfire recharging?" I just blurted out.

"In another room." Thundercracker grunted. "Night sire, carrier, Uncle Gale." He said before carrying me away.

"Night, Skyfire!" I waved at him.

"See you in the morning, Star." He smiled as he waved back at me.

I just remember being put in berth and snuggling against Thundercracker before things went black.

I onlined the next orbital cycle, my wings perking as I noticed we were somewhere else, then I remembered where we were. Thundercracker was still in recharge and so was Skywarp.

I sat up, being careful not to online them. Zephyr was online, sitting on top of her sire and playing with his outer cooling fans. I carefully picked her up, slid off the berth, and walked out. I heard Borealis in the other room singing as she worked, and Tank was chewing on a toy in the living room. I went to the other berthroom and palmed the door open, seeing Skyfire recharging inside. I went over to him, pausing as I stood over him. For some reason, I really wanted to cuddle in berth with him and have those powerful arms hold me close. I bit my lower lip plate, not sure why I would want that when he was only a friend and I had my trineleader to hold me at night.

So I did something else.

I set Zephyr on the floor and pounced on Skyfire, making sure my knees jabbed his abdominal plates.

"Ack!' He yelped as he onlined, jumping in surprise.

I laughed, wings fluttering. "Morning, sunshine!" I hugged him. "Mmmm!"

"Ugh… Did you have to online me like that?" He wrapped an arm around me to hug me back, the other rested on the berth above his helm.

"Yes!" I bounced on his abdominal plates.

"How are you feeling?"

"Awesome with you being here." I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his. "I would have a much harder time without you."

"Why is that?"

"I don't like Thunder's sire… And… just stressful stuff…"

"Don't worry about him. He can be grouchy but he won't touch you."

"I know… Borealis is up. We should go get some energon."

"Alright, I'm coming." He started to sit up.

I hopped off him and picked up Zephyr, I stopped, wings lowering in submission when I saw Steelwing in the doorway.

"You should be staying with your trineleader, not getting comfortable with a shuttle." He snapped, displeased with me. He always would be.

"I-I'm just playing with him, sir. He's my friend." I tried to explain, becoming anxious.

"Thundercracker is too easy on you. If you were my trinemate I wouldn't let you be friends with anything that wasn't one of us, and flog you for being so close to one. Might as well let him frag you if you're going to be on top of him like that."

"I-it's not that kind of relationship! We're friends only! Th-there's no-"

"Watch how you speak to me, submissive." He snarled, wings flaring. "If Thundercracker won't discipline you properly _I_ will. And you need a flogging."

"Leave him alone." Skyfire snapped. "He's just having fun. You should get that shaft out of your aft and try it sometime."

"Watch how you speak to me you slagging-"

"Sire!"

Steelwing turned as Thundercracker stomped over. "You're trinemate is a brat. He needs a whipping."

Thundercracker just glared at him. "He's my trinemate and I will handle him as I see fit."

"He's practically making love to a shuttle in there."

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Starscream is just very physical. And I would appreciate it if you didn't threaten my trinemates. If you have a problem with them you come to me about it." He flared his wings, faceplates in his sire's.

Steelwing flicked his wings, engine growling. "You're soft. You let your trinemates walk all over you and then whine that they don't listen to you. If you want them to behave let me have them for one orbital cycle and they will end up being proper Seekers."

I was scared, wings low and trembling as I hugged Zephyr. But Thundercracker only flicked his wings and growled his engine back.

"Touch my trinemates and I'll break you." He growled dangerously at his sire before turning to me. "Starscream, come!" He snapped his digits.

Obediently, I went over and grabbed his arm, staying close to him. He flicked his wings at his sire one last time and pulled me along with him. He took me to the energon room where his carrier was, his frame visibly relaxing as he calmed down. He kissed me, holding me close to him.

"Sorry about that. Sire can be a grouch. You alright?" He cupped my faceplates with a servo, the other wrapped around my waist.

I nodded. "Y-yes, sir. I'm sorry… I-I didn't mean to-"

"You're fine. Get some energon and I'll make it up to you." He kissed me.

"Yes, sir."

Skyfire was there watching. "You alright, Star?" He asked softly.

"I'll be fine." I nodded.

"Oh, Steelwing is always uptight in the morning." Borealis waved a servo dismissively. "Here, sweetie, drink all of this." She handed me a large glass. "I don't want any left."

"Yes, carrier." I took it, positive I wouldn't be able to finish all of that in a single sitting.

Thundercracker knew what I was thinking. "I'll finish what you don't." He whispered to me. We couldn't disappoint Borealis. Such a thing was sinful.

I pulled at my trineleader, wanting him to stay with me. He got his own cube and followed me to the living room where Skywarp was playing with the dog.

"Hey, TC! We should get a pet!" He proclaimed, wings fluttering.

"Maybe." Thundercracker sat down on the sofa and pulled me onto his lap. "Don't forget to refuel."

"I won't." Skywarp replied, still playing with Tank.

I just sipped my energon, enjoying being on Thundercracker's lap, feeling him hold me close with an arm. I was safe as long as I stayed here.

Skyfire sat on the end of the couch, giving some space between him and Thundercracker. I wished he would sit beside me, but I knew why he was keeping his distance. I just snuggled against Thundercracker. I drank what I could of my energon, gave some to Zephyr, and what was left I handed to Thundercracker. I then just hugged him, engine purring because I had the best trineleader ever.

"What do you even use to punish him?" Steelwing suddenly asked when he finally entered the room.

My wings lowered, hugging Thundercracker tighter. Zephyr sat on my lap playing with her sire's free servo, slapping it and making his digits bend and unbend. Skyfire narrowed his optics as he watched, undoubtedly ready to document this as evidence for Thundercracker's alleged "abuse" towards me.

"Mostly a metal cable." Thundercracker spoke as casually as if he were discussing the weather. "About as thick as a his digit." He held up my servo to show before letting me hug him again.

"What else?" Steelwing sat on the other couch, holding his own cube.

"Energon whip for severe cases. And an energon tawse, but I don't use that as much. The cable works pretty well." He rubbed my aft, obviously thinking about how he hurt it so much.

"Switch?"

"No. I have one, but haven't bothered using it."

"How do you use the cable?"

"Double it over. It dents them pretty well."

"You don't use it like a whip?"

"Well, a few times I have, but I like to hit fast. I think that brings better results."

I had coolant leaking out of m optics. Them talking about hurting their submissives as if it was absolutely nothing just… It was normal talk for trineleaders of course, but I just kept thinking about the pain, the fear, feeling so helpless. I practically felt the cable hurting me as he spoke. I hugged him tighter, hiding my faceplates in the crook of his neck.

"Chain them?"

"Only when I flog them. They're pretty well trained and stay in position when they are given aft beatings."

"They don't act well trained." He grunted.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "They are well-trained, sire. They obey me without question or hesitation."

"Is that so? Why did that one give you such a hard time about sparking him? I heard he used groundings to prevent being sparked. And even after you beat him he still tried to get out of it. Or how the both of them are always fighting each other."

"They no longer fight. It was a misunderstanding between them."

"You have to constantly punish this one because he refuses to obey. I don't think he's trained at all. Probably because he's a spoiled prince. I told you to avoid the Alpha's creations. Everyone goes on that they have healthy, strong creations, but they are troublesome to train and keep inline because they all think they are superior."

"Starscream doesn't think himself superior to me. He's as submissive as they get. Look at him, sire. Does he look like he wants to be dominant? This is all he does. Just sits on my lap clinging to me like a sparkling and crying. He's harmless and obedient."

"He's not obedient. Obedient submissives don't require punishment all the time. You want him to me obedient you need to flog him more. And dominate. when was the last time you dominated him?"

"Stellar cycles ago."

"Exactly. This brat needs a good dominating every orbital cycle to fix him. You're letting him off easy."

"Sire, they are mine and I'll handle them as I know best. Just… shut the frag up. You're upsetting my brother." He stroked my backplates.

"You know I'm right." He paused. "You sure that's even a Seeker? He acts like a beaten turbofox."

Thundercracker growled his engine and flicked his wings. "Insult my trinemate one more time and I'll tear off your limbs."

"Please, stop fighting." I said softly, clinging even tighter around Thundercracker's neck.

His engine instantly began to purr, trying to comfort me. He kissed me, stroking a wing. "Ignore my sire. He's just bitter because he doesn't have you as a trinemate."

I had to faintly smile at that.

"I wouldn't want him. I don't see anything that makes him worth dealing with. But I guess you only care about tiny waists and large afts. Sure you found him at the War Academy and not a brothel?"

And I felt just pure, raw, unadulterated anger emanating from Thundercracker's being. He was shaking from how furious he was. I was scared, clutching to him, not wanting a fight, but somehow happy. Happy that he loved me so much he was that angry at his sire for insulting me.

"Carrier, take Zephyr into the other room." Thundercracker barked as he held up our daughter.

Borealis walked over and took her. "Sweetie, please don't-" she started gently.

"Carrier, leave." He snapped.

Borealis lowered her wings and did just that. I swallowed, not wanting a fight to happen. I could feel the tension as I offlined my optics.

Thundercracker grabbed me as he started to get up. I suddenly was pushed onto the couch, and made to lie on my front. I onlined my optics, tense as my trineleader got over me and spread out my legs. I relaxed some, realizing that he wasn't going to attack Steelwing, although a part of me wished he would.

He rubbed over my codpiece and I obediently removed it. He was in me quickly, his servos pleasuring my frame. His left arm wrapped around my waist tightly, holding me firmly against him, forcing me to lift my aft up as my upper half stayed on the couch. His other arm supported him as he leaned over me, biting my nape hard. I whimpered, keeping my wings low. He began to thrust into me, his wings flaring, and his optics glaring at his sire.

He was claiming me. Showing his sire that I belonged to him, he was proud that I was his, and no one would take me away from him. It was the sweetest thing and warmed my spark. I had to flutter my wings despite how hard he was going. He loved me, and I just loved him all over again.

"And I'm out." Skyfire grunted as he got up and walked away. Such a virgin.

I moaned, doing my best to ensure it was just perfect. Thundercracker purred his engine, soon kissing my nape as his passion grew. I offlined my optics, moaning and gasping as my mouth hung stupidly open. I look like such an idiot when I'm fragged hard.

"Ohhh!" I moaned gripping the couch. "Ohhh, yes! Yes! Ohh! Primus, ohhh!" I looked back at my trineleader, only to have him grab my chin and passionately kiss me on the lip plates over my wing. His glossa was in my mouth, wriggling around and pushing against mine. I moaned louder, pressing back against him, feeling his spike moving in and out of me so hard, so fast, with such a fiery passion. It no longer hurt. I was so turned on now and absolutely loving it. And it just made me love my trineleader even more. He never hurt me. Not when he loved me this much!

He grasped at my chestplates and I obediently opened them. I heard his open as well and felt our sparks' energy intertwining. I managed to look over at Steelwing when Thunder finally ceased kissing me. I was panting, trying to catch my intakes. Steelwing did not seem amused as he watched, his arms crossed.

"Mechling, you even frag like a femme." He grunted. "What is this? A femmling party?"

Thundercracker flicked his wings, pinning me down by the nape. He straightened himself out, thrusting into me still just as hard and fast as he stood on his knees.

"You're just jealous that I _do_ have royalty." Thundercracker replied calmly to his sire. "Look at him." His servos then caressed along my sides before grasping my hips. "He's beautiful. Thin, smooth, aerodynamic… A perfect aft for humping… Luscious hips… And his breastplates." He groped them, making me moan louder. "Listen to him. Such perfect moans and gasps…. His lip plates…" He kissed mine. "Soft and hard not to kiss. He's absolutely gorgeous." He lifted my chin to show off my visage. "And his valve…." He fluttered his wings. "Incredible. Tight, wet, smooth…. Better than any whore's. And it stays tight even after all these frags." He caressed over my wings. "He carried a beautiful, perfect sparkling. He's fast, a fierce warrior, smart, clever, kind, loving, hard-working, responsible…" He turned to his sire. "And he's all mine. Absolutely, positively, a hundred percent _mine_." He flicked his wings. "And no one will take him from me. No one will touch him or insult him. He is mine. And if anyone has a problem with him, or with Skywarp, they better come to me. And if anyone touches or insults them…. I will tear them apart." He snarled the last part.

I fell in love all over again a thousands times over. He was the _best_ trineleader ever! I only wanted his creations. I needed him. I love him! Mine!

I climaxed. That speech and show of strength and aggression turned me on so much more that I just went over the edge. I gave a short cry as I overloaded, clawing at the sofa. I fluttered my wings, engine purring as loud as it could.

Thundercracker leaned over, grabbed my chin, and kissed me on the lip plates. He kept going until he overloaded and we sparkbonded. I cried out from that too, jumping back into him.

He panted above me for a bit before kissing my nape so gently. I just panted, trying to cool myself off. I gasped when he pulled out of me. I quickly closed my plates up and sat on the couch, watching him with perked wings. He closed his plates and sat beside me, an arm wrapping around my shoulders. I hugged him, grinning so happily. My awesome trineleader.

"Well?" Thundercracker raised an optical ridge at his sire. "Any smartaft comments to say?"

"You trined him just for the good frag." Steelwing sneered. "Pamper the brat all you want. He's only good for fragging and being a nuisance."

Thundercracker stood up. "We're going for a flight."

"Can Skyfire come?" I asked quickly.

"Yeah, sure." Thundercracker said dismissively, not paying much attention to me.

I leaped to my peds and ran to the berthroom Skyfire was staying in. I practically tackled him in a hug, wings fluttering.

"Wow, you're really warm." He said as he hugged me back. "You alright?"

I nodded as I smiled. "I'm awesome! Hey, Thunder said we're going to a flight to get away from grumpy plates. I want you to come with."

"Sure, I could use some time out of here." He stood up.

I grabbed his servo and led him out of the room and into the living room. Thundercracker was by the door already waiting for us. I pulled Skyfire out onto the deck where Skywarp was. Thunder walked out, working on calming himself down.

"You alright?" I inquired, letting go of Skyfire to hug him.

"I'm fine. Just pissed." He stroked my backplates.

"Let's play tag!" I excitedly jumped up and down, still hugging my trineleader.

"Shhh, calm down." He patted my helm. "We can do that."

"Skyfire is safety!" I ran over and poked Skyfire. "I'm safe."

"Uh huh." Thundercracker smirked. "Well, if you femmes catch me you'll get a special energon treat." He walked to the edge.

"Mission: Catch the trineleader." Skywarp nodded.

"Good luck." Thundercracker sat on the railing, then allowed himself to fall backwards, plummeting hundreds of stories.

Skywarp leaped off as well, and I tugged Skyfire to the edge. I climbed onto the railing, standing on it, optic level with my friend. I was about to jump, but something just made me stop and hug Skyfire instead. He chuckled and hugged me back.

"You're so silly." He said as he stroked my wings.

"You're just the best friend I needed." I said softly. "Come on. Thunder is easy to catch." I took his servo and tugged it.

"I'm coming." He stepped over the railing, grabbing my arm as he fell.

I laughed as we plummeted together. I transformed first, and watched him as he did as well. I circled around him, so much faster than him. I pressed my cockpit against his undercarriage, purring my engine.

"You're so weird." He said with a chuckle.

"Race ya!" I then sped forward, going toward my trinemates who were racing around a spiral. I felt so happy, so alive. This was how I always should feel.

But, of course my happiness wouldn't last.

* * *

The next orbital cycle we arrived at the palace. My trinemates had been there several times, but Skyfire never had been near it. He was quite in awe of the size of it, all the guards, and the number of younglings running around.

I led my trine and friend through the palace going towards sire's chambers. When sparklings were everywhere it usually meant their carriers were in use. Which, is just a fancy way of saying that sire was having his fun with his property.

I palmed open the door to sire's room, the smell of transfluids and infinite sin hitting my olfactory sensors. All the scents of home. My trinemates were unaffected, but Skyfire gave a surprised gasp.

All the breeding mates were there, all looking satisfied as they were sprawled out on sofas, berths, and massive cushions. "Left out to dry" as we called it when sire and his trinemates finished with one. Sire was taking a break as was Flare, for they sat with breeding mates around them, working on cooling off. Turbine was busy with my Aunt Galaxy, giving it to her hard on one of the sofas.

"Hey, sire." I smiled, trotting over to him as if nothing was unusual. I mean, it wasn't for me. I grew up seeing these orgies all the time.

"Was I expecting you?" He smirked, only some of my aunts around him, my carrier being one of the femmes he was keeping close. She was one of his preferred breeding mates, and therefore a trophy he kept next to him almost always.

"You were. Hey, carrier." I hugged her. She was so warm, her cooling fans whirling loudly.

"Hey, love." She kissed me on the cheekplates. "I missed you."

"Missed you, too, carrier." I let her go to gesture to my trine. "I brought people."

"Thundercracker." She inclined her helm in greeting. She was a submissive and had no right to touch him.

"Moonlight." Thundercracker grunted, not really interested in a mere breeding mate of the Alpha.

"Hello, Skywarp." She smiled.

"Hey, carrier." Skywarp hugged her, wings fluttering. "You look really pretty."

"Oh, it's just for show." She said dismissively. She was wearing her royal garments, something that breeding mates wore usually during special occasions. It was a golden cape that had long fabric extensions coming from the shoulder and attaching to a ring around her wrists. A lavish chain of jewels rested across her breastplates, and her neck had almost a collar-like ring of more jewels and shiny metal. She wore a tiara that had even more jewels in it and several points. More chains and jewels were draped over her wings, and some more gold cloth with the golden chains rested around her hips. She even had her lip plates painted red and extra buffing done to her faceplates.

"Zephyr, wanna meet your grandcarrier?" I took my daughter form Thundercracker and held her up to carrier.

"Hey, sweetspark." Carrier fluttered her wings, taking Zephyr. Zephyr played with the chains on carrier's chestplates, fascinated by them.

"What's with the shuttle?" Sire grunted, choosing just now to close his codpiece back up.

"Oh, this is my friend, Skyfire." I introduced excitedly.

"You always make odd friends." Sire didn't act amused as he inspected his digit tips.

"Why don't you get up and we spend time with our son and granddaughter." Carrier said as she took sire's servo.

"Very well." He pushed his breeding mates aside, all of them in their royal garments as well, and got off the berth. "I believe this is…. Five hundred eighty-seven….?" He said as he picked up Zephyr. "Around there. You have a lot of cousins, little one."

Zephyr's optics were massive, looking up at him. She just couldn't believe that someone could be so big. Sire wasn't as big as Skyfire, no, but for a Seeker he was a giant. She just stared at him, her little mouth hanging open.

"You look like Starscream, Zephyr." Sire commented. "Starscream, why haven't you had ten by this point?"

"Busy, sire."

"Pathetic excuse." He tugged the collar-thing around carrier's neck, not too hard, but enough to make her have to take a step forward to keep from losing balance. "We can talk in the lounge." He then started to walk off.

We followed him, carrier staying beside him. I wouldn't learn of this term for some time, but… the reason the collar things were worn only by breeding mates and not by guards or the trinemates of the Alpha was because the breeding mates were, well, essentially "interface slaves." I never would have considered them such, but after studying Seeker history and other cultures, and psychology… that's what they were and why they had to wear certain things. They were trophies to the Alpha, Slaves. And that was why they could be taken from trines to be his. They lost everything to merely become the Alpha's property.

"I didn't expect your sire to be so…" Skyfire whispered to me, gesturing with his servo to try and figure out the word.

"Large? Commanding?" I tried.

"Narcissist. Selfish. Conceited." He grunted sarcastically.

"Shut up. He cares about his creations and breeding mates and Seekers."

"That's not what I'm seeing." He grumbled.

I rolled my optics. He wasn't a Seeker. He wouldn't understand.

Sire took us to the lounge which was a large room with couches, tables, and lots of fancy decorations. It was basically an excessively elaborate waiting room for politicians and other guests of the palace to rest in until the Alpha was ready to see them. And since the Alpha was now in it there were lots of his personal guards as well.

Sire and carrier sat on a couch and my trine and I sat on one across from it. Skyfire sat on a large single seat, looking around in awe. He had obviously never been in such an expensive place before.

"Tell, me." Sire said as he adjusted Zephyr on his lap. Carrier leaned against him, her servo holding Zephyr's. "How is that academy going?"

"It's going well, sire. I am making exceptional grades and my academic prowess and high grade status has already been noticed by the dean. I am on the Dean's List and on my way to graduating with honors."

"That's wonderful, sweetspark." Carrier smiled.

"Yes, but you still have a ways to go before you graduate. _If_ you do." Sire pointed out.

"Well, hopefully nothing hampers that. Sticking to the positive side of things here, sire."

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst."

"Overkill is better than not being sure. Yes, I understand." I muttered, knowing what he always tell us.

"And, what else?"

"Trust no one, only trinemates. And tear out the optics of your enemies lest they watch you in their death."

"And don't you forget any of that."

"Sire, I'm not a sparkling. I can handle things and I will graduate."

"Not saying you wouldn't. Just you never know what the future may hold." He tugged at the collar on carrier again, obviously pissing her off. "I may be defeated and a new Alpha take you as a breeding mate. That would certainly hamper your graduation."

"No one will defeat you sire. Only an idiot would dare challenge you."

"Heh," He smirked. "There are many of those."

"Not very bright to go against someone obviously bigger and stronger than you."

"I hear you do that quite a bit with how you don't obey your trineleader."

Low blow. I drooped my wings. "I am not perfect, but I'm trying."

"Oh, be nice to him." Carrier waved a digit at sire. "He's your son, not a hoodlum."

"I have over a hundred of those." He shrugged.

"Stop it, Skycutter. He came all this way to see you. Why are you in a mood?"

"If you're going to be moving your mouth that much it better have my spike in it." He gave her a stern look.

"Insatiable." She flicked her wings.

He just smirked so proudly as he chuckled. "Y-yeah, I am."

She rolled her optics. "See what I have to deal with? He acts like an adolescent who just discovered how to stroke his spike to overload."

Sire just laughed. I didn't see him laugh too much, but he was in a good mood from his orgy. Plus, he had one of his granddaughters and he never got mad when around a sparkling. He loved them so much.

"I think you want another round. Let me see that aft, femme." Sire gave her aft a smack.

"Ouch…" She rubbed over it. "Not in front of the sparkling. Once they leave you can have at me again."

"Hear this femme? Bossing me around now like she's the Alpha. I used to not take such talk from my breeding mates. Before when they talked to me like that I would beat them." He pointed with a digit as he talked. "But, after having so many breeding mates and dealing with all their personalities and how crazy many of them are, I now let things slide. Moonlight here is a very tough femme who is not easily breakable. So I didn't break her. And I was rewarded for it." His smirk only grew. "Like a cybercat in berth. Mmrrr!" He made the sound as he clawed the air with a servo.

I never said my sire was sane.

"Stop it." Carrier slapped his shoulder. Skywarp was giggling.

"Primus, I do _not_ need to know!" I exclaimed as I covered my audio receptors.

"Ditto." Skyfire agreed.

"I apologize, sweetspark." Carrier said gently. "He's the one that should be wearing the collar, it seems."

"Turbine has said the same thing. Maybe one night after I've drunk enough we can try something like that." He pulled her closer by the waist, his faceplates in hers. "Hmm? See how wild you get, little cybercat." He started to kiss her on the neck cables above the collar.

She just rolled her optics.

"I think the only reason you are able to let her act like that is due to the fact you're the Alpha." Thundercracker commented.

"Or, she's that madly in love with me." Skycutter replied, sitting properly again.

"I suppose breeding mates are simply just different from trinemates. They have no purpose but to procreate and satisfy the Alpha, so are not required to be as disciplined."

I turned to Thundercracker. "My carrier is just as important as any trinemate. Breeding mates are simply additional trinemates."

Thundercracker slowly shook his helm as he gave me that small smirk that basically said that I was an idiot. "No, not really. They are taken out of the need to procreate and being worth procreating with because of their coding. Not because they are loved or their personality matches the Alpha."

"Your sire seems to think that of me." I snapped.

"He thinks a lot of things."

"So, is he going to open his idiotic mouth and tell my sire to beat his breeding mates extra all because they are not 'special.' He doesn't seem to even give a slag if it's a trinemate or not. Just beat them like a sadistic freak."

Thundercracker hiked his wings. "Watch what you say about my sire. He may be an aft at times, but he is still superior over you. He's a trineleader, something you will never achieve."

"Because I'm just a pretty face from a brothel?"

"Careful, Starscream."

"Why is it okay for you to insult my carrier but wrong for me to point out what a jerk your sire is?"

"You're carrier is a breeding mate. She's beneath me. As are you."

That hurt. "My carrier is above your miserable, slagheap sire." I growled.

And I just shot myself in the ped. Thundercracker grabbed my wing painfully and forced my over his lap. Skywarp scooted back, his wings lowering.

"Stay." Thundercracker growled as he pushed me down, then rummaged through a subspace pocket.

My wings lowered, knowing I had screwed up again. I grabbed at the couch in front of me, readying myself for the pain. I was absolutely humiliated and the beating hadn't even begun. Punished for a second time in front of my creators, and in front of Skyfire yet again. But, I deserved it. I was disrespectful and required punishment. And my trineleader, being so good to me, had to punish me for my transgression.

Thundercracker pulled out an energy tawse. I hated the tawse. It hurt so much. The cable stung and dented badly, just destroying your aft, but the tawse… It was all about a nasty, evil sting like the whip was. It may not dent or tear apart your plating, but it stung worse than anything, lasted forever, and it could be swung much harder and faster than the whip. Thunder usually used it when over the knee or for a quick beating simply because of how much it hurt and was easier to use in close quarters.

Carrier picked up Zephyr and held her close, making sure she wouldn't see. Sire seemed amused. Frag him.

"Thundercracker, don't." Skyfire spoke up. "He doesn't-"

"And because of you he's getting an extra twenty lashes." Thunder snapped.

"What? This isn't-"

"And another twenty added!" Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Want to add yet another twenty or are you going to shut up?"

Skyfire's optics narrowed, raw fury boiling in them. He started to get up to march out, but stopped when he saw my pitiful gaze. I silently begged him to stay, shaking my helm slowly as coolant pooled in my optics. His wings lowered as he returned to his seat. He was still pissed and made sure everyone knew it.

Thundercracker, as usual, wasted no time. He lashed my aft hard and fast, giving it his all. I cried out from each lash, clutching the couch, soon bawling my optics out. I kicked my legs, fighting to try and keep them still, knowing I would only get more if I moved. The stinging surged through my entire being, hurting like nothing else. And before my aft could even begin to recover another brutal lash was landed on it.

"You should get the double strap tawse." My sire said nonchalantly, as if he were speaking about the weather. "Double the pain. So you can give them twice the lesson for only half the time." He chuckled.

"Might look into that." Thundercracker replied, never ceasing in beating my poor aft.

"The tawse is great to use on the wings and codpiece."

"I don't want to damage his wings too much."

"No, no, the tawse doesn't. It hurts, but they can still fly just fine afterwards.

Thundercracker paused to unsubspace the gag and put it in my mouth. I was being far too loud for his liking. As usual, it hurt the corners of my mouth and jaw pistons. I bit down, trying to make it hurt a little less. Then, he resumed beating the absolute slag out of my rear end.

"Great way to shut them up is to take a thick wire and tie it around their neck, just under the hydraulics. Tighten it really tight to block off their intakes. Without the air circulating through it makes it harder for sound to escape. Plus, a cloth shoved far back in the mouth so it's blocking all of the throat. Then you put the cable around their mouth to keep it shut. It works really well." Sire explained as if he was giving a lesson on how to make energon goodies.

"It won't hurt their neck cables?" Thundercracker asked, still beating my aft.

"Nah. They'll be fine. And to stop all the pesky wiggling, if you tie them in an awkward position that helps. Lots of tying. Make the other trinemate also hold them down. Participating in punishing each other helps them learn to obey you better. Be obedient and accept they are beneath you. Oh, how often do you dominate?"

"I haven't dominated either of them in several stellar cycles."

"Well, I suggest getting spike covers that have barbs on them. Hurts really bad, doesn't damage the valve line, and they will behave very well afterwards. I also suggest punishing them in front of each other so they learn from each others mistakes. And always have them thank you for the punishment afterwards. _Always_. Remind them that it's for their own good."

"I should talk to you more." Thundercracker smiled, still lashing my aft hard and fast.

Skyfire was absolutely horrified of this conversation, but not a single Seeker was. This was just normal conversation between trineleaders dealing with their submissives.

I cried harder when my wings got several lashes to them. Seeker wings are very sensitive, needing to be so that we could feel changes in air pressure, wind currents, very delicate stuff. So, it hurt a lot more than getting struck on the aft.

My aft was on absolute fire by the time my trineleader finished with me. He yanked me off his lap and made me sit properly beside him. I was a bawling mess, wiping at my optics pathetically. I didn't want to look at anyone, so I hugged Thundercracker and buried my faceplates into the crook of his neck. I just wanted him to comfort me. I needed him to show me that he still loved me. I just needed my trineleader.

I yelped when he lashed the tawse across my thigh. I jumped back, trembling, not sure what I did to deserve that. I rubbed where he hit me, pitifully looking at him for answers.

"Thank me." He commanded sternly.

I swallowed, wings as low as they could go. "Th-thank y-you, sir." I choked out between sobs.

"For?"

"Th-thank you f-for puni-ishing me, s-sir." I tried again.

"You're welcome." He kissed me on the lip plates, then gestured for me to go ahead and hug him. Which I did.

I clung to him, crying into his chassis, wishing I could just melt into the floor and die. As I was crying and feeling sorry for myself, Thundercracker and sire just kept talking like nothing had happened. I didn't pay attention what anyone was doing or saying, instead I got onto Thundercracker's lap, my arms wrapped around his neck and my face pressed into his neck. I cried until I was burnt out, then I just stayed there, holding onto him, looking down at his chassis, no longer wanting to do anything.

Thundercracker and sire just talked about discipline, handling unruly trinemates, and about sparking me and Warp. Skywarp eventually started talking to carrier about Zephyr and his future sparkling. I stayed silent and clung to Thundercracker. I really don't care if I looked like a sparkling. I just needed his comfort and to ignore everyone.

Eventually, it was time to go. I hugged my creators farewell, got a kiss on the cheekplates from carrier and a mocking laugh from sire. We returned to Steelwing's apartment and I hid myself in the room we were staying in. Thundercracker didn't let Skyfire in to check on me.

I was alone for a couple of joors before Thundercracker entered and locked the door behind him. I sat up on the berth, wiping at my optics after having cried anew. He marched straight over, pulled me off the berth and started to grope my frame. I didn't want to frag. It hurt still from the aft beating and all I wanted to do was cry and hate myself.

Thundercracker pulled me against him, grasping at my codpiece. I didn't open, instead pushing back at him.

"P-please, can we just do it in the morning?" I begged.

He shoved me onto the berth hard. "Seriously?! How many times do I need to beat you until you stop denying me?"

I was instantly terrified, knowing I screwed up again. I sat on the berth, protecting my aft. "I-I didn't mean it! Y-you can have me!"

But, denying him interface meant I had to be punished. He grabbed me, turned me over, and began to beat my aft with the cable. I screamed, I cried, I clung to his leg as he beat the absolute, living slag out of my aft. He was so furious with me. Just having it with my denying him.

I hugged his leg so tightly, it being the only thing to keep me in place as I was punished. It was a ruthless, completely brutal beating, but it thankfully didn't last too long. He was horny and wanted in me.

He subspaced the cable once done, grabbed me, and yanked me off the berth. I was bawling into my servos, blinded by coolant and unable to speak. He grasped by codpiece and I opened it immediately. I whimpered when he entered me, crying harder as he thrust. He wrapped his arms around my waist, panting heated exhales on my nape as he had at me. It was hard and fast, just lust in him and the need to satisfy that desire.

I was still in shock from the beating, hyperventilating as I cried. It just… The pain in my aft, the fear, how he was holding me, how he was thrusting into me, that we were standing…. It… I don't know how to explain what happened next. But… All those things were so much like when Brakelight… When he took my virginity. When he hurt me like he did. I just… I thought about him. I only saw him. I felt.. Like I was with him again. Everything just… Crashed down on me. I couldn't contain myself. I just…

I would later learn that these things are called "emotional breakdowns." And I had a very extreme case of one. I just… lost control of myself and I was terrified as it happened, but I couldn't stop it.

I started screaming as I cried even harder, then I started to absolutely panic. I was struggling desperately, clawing at Thundercracker's arms, kicking, screaming more. I sounded like some unholy beast from the Pits. I acted like a savage. I just needed to get away, needed to get out, needed… to be free.

"Starscream! Calm down!" Thundercracker shouted, grasping my wing and arm, trying to control me.

He was stronger than me, but I was in such a panic. He cried out in pain, needing to quickly pull out of me. He folded his codpiece back over before attempting to wrestle me to the ground. His optics were wide, horrified why I was acting like this. Terrified of what was happening to his trinemate.

"Starscream! Star, stop it!" He pinned me down, wrestling to keep me on the floor as I kept struggling, screaming, freaking out in hysteria.

Skywarp materialized beside us having heard us both shouting. "What's wrong!? What's going on!?"

"I-I don't know! Get carrier! Get help!"

Skywarp unlocked the door and ran. Thundercracker kept fighting to hold me down as I just screamed louder.

I thought I saw Thundercracker have to reset his optics. I didn't think he could cry.

I suddenly felt very large servos grabbing me, yanking me away, then felt myself being held against a large chassis. I struggled, I kicked, I screamed, then I looked up and saw Skyfire's face. And I just… Something changed.

I stopped struggling, just looking up at him. Then I resumed my crying as I hugged him, clinging to him like a lifeline.

"Shhh, I'm here, Starscream. You're safe." His soothing vocalizer spoke, and I believed him. I knew I was safe with him.

I clung to him, crying for I don't know how long before I managed to pull away from him and look him in the optics. "I-I'm scared." I choked out. "I-I don't w-want to be hurt."

His optics were so soft, like he was about to cry. "I know, Starscream." He said so gently, so lovingly. "I know you are. I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe."

I took some time, calming myself down, before I spoke again. "W-why me?"

"Why you, what?"

"Why does everyone hate me?" I whispered.

"I don't hate you."

"Starscream."

I looked down, noticing that my trinemates were there, as well as Steelwing and his trine. I didn't want Steelwing or his trine seeing me like this. I didn't want anyone seeing me like this. I looked at my trineleader who had spoken, my wings low.

"Come here." He held his arms out to me, his vocalizer gentle.

I swallowed, glanced at Skyfire, then crawled off his lap and over to my trineleader. He hugged me, protectively, possessively, as if the world was trying to tear us apart. He kissed me firmly on the cheekplates as he held me.

"I love you. Please, never do that again."

"I-I don't know what happened… I-I'm sorry…"

"I know. I know that wasn't you." He kissed me again. "I want you to recharge and just rest. No interface."

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

He kissed me again. "Everyone but Skywarp and Zephyr I want out." He flared his wings.

"Starscream, if you need me just call me." Skyfire said, stroking my wing to comfort me.

I nodded. "I will."

Once everyone had left Thundercracker pulled us both onto the berth. I held Zephyr as I curled into Thundercracker's chassis. He, oddly, lied on his side, holding me with both arms. Skywarp got behind me and held me close to him as well. I was held so firmly by the both of them, squeezed between them. Zephyr snuggled between her sire and I, clutching my chassis. I liked this new arrangement. I felt… safer. So loved. Like all they wanted was me.

I exhaled heavily, pressing my brow against Thunder's chestplates. I felt absolutely exhausted. I was trembling slightly still, not sure why I had acted like that. It scared me. What if I did that again? I curled more into Thundercracker, wanting his protection. He kissed me on the brow, purring his engine to comfort me. I just stared at his chassis, eventually falling into recharge.

* * *

We didn't really do much for the rest of our trip. After my panic attack, breakdown, whatever you want to call it, Thundercracker took things slow. He didn't interface with me, and only showered me with affection, goodies, cake, and love. I had made him so worried, and he just wanted to make sure I was alright and knew he loved me.

It was our last full orbital cycle in Vos when Skyfire came to me while I sat in my room.

"Hey." He smiled.

I fluttered my wings and wiggled my rear as I looked up at him. "Hey." I grinned.

He sat beside me. "What are you doing, sillyhelm?"

"Just reading." I hugged his arm after setting down the datapad.

"So…" He lowered his vocalizer. "Wanna see my folks?"

My wings perked. "Ooh! Yeah, let's do that!"

"Okay, we can leave in a joor."

"I need Thundercracker's permission first."

"Right…" He rolled his optics.

"He'll let me." I paused, then clutched his arm tightly before biting it.

"Ouch!" He jerked his arm to get me off him. "What the hell?!"

"I'm cybercat. Hsssss!" I hissed as I crouched on all fours. "I'm gonna prey on you."

"Star, seriously, don't-Ack!" He cried when I pounced on him and bit him. "What the frag is wrong with you!? Do _not_ bite me! Stop!" He grabbed my nape and easily pinned me to the berth. He was far stronger than Thunder. "Stop. It." He snapped.

I just growled and snapped my denta, reaching for him. He rolled his optics, wishing for once I would act my age. Or frametype. He wished I didn't act like me.

I certainly pissed him off more when I started yowling.

* * *

After thoroughly ensuring Skyfire wanted to murder me, I was off to annoy other people I was close to.

I ran over and pounced onto my trineleader's lap before hugging him, my wings fluttering madly.

"Morning to you as well." He replied before pecking a kiss to my lip plates. "What are you up to, little hyperactive prince?"

"Eating your face!" I snapped my jaws at him before snuggling.

"Leave something for the femmes to swoon over." He petted my helm. "What do you need?"

"I have a question."

"And I have an answer."

I looked at him. "Skyfire is going to visit his creators and want to introduce me to them. May I go?"

"No." He grunted.

"Why?" I perked my wings.

"I don't know them and therefore don't trust them. They probably hate Seekers… Just because Skyfire is nice to you doesn't mean they will be."

"But, what if they are?"

"No, Starscream. That's my final answer."

"Mmmmrrrhhh!" I narrowed me optics as I flung myself against him, pouting. Then I perked my wings and looked at him again. "May I visit some of my siblings then?"

"Which ones?"

"I don't know. I have over two hundred. Quickstrike, Nacreous, Nightwatch, Aurora, Windrider, Starlight, Wingblade, Ghost, Typhoon, Skystrike, Windspeed, Snowstorm, Silverwing, Morningstar, Nimbus, Cirrus, Firestorm, Combat, Stormbreaker, Stratus, Thunderbolt, Shadow, Vector, Nightfall, Lightning, Pitchback, Take Off, Starblaster, Thunderflash, Stormrunner, Dogfight, Nightflight, Nightfury, Thunderstreak, Tailslide, Windraider, Turbulence, Tarmac, Torque, Aura, Skymaster, Daybreak, Monsoon, Celestial, Strike, Striker, Eclipse, Whirlw-"

"Alright, stop." He held up a servo to shut me up. "You can visit your siblings. I don't care. Just don't see Skyfire's creators."

"Can Skyfire come with me to visit my siblings?"

"Fine, whatever."

"Yay!" I hugged him. "Best trineleader ever! I love you!" I fluttered my wings.

"I know. Go get me energon."

"On it!" I leaped off his lap and ran off to do so.

I gave him his energon then sprinted into the room Skyfire was staying in. I hopped on his lap, making sure my knee got him in the codpiece.

"Ack! Son-of-a-glitch!" He grabbed me and made me sit on the berth as he clutched his codpiece. "Whhhhhyyyyy!?"

I so cutely and innocently hugged him. "So! He said I can't see your creators."

"Why not?"

"He doesn't know them. BUT! He did say you can see my siblings."

"But, I want to visit my-" I pressed a digit to his lip plates to shut him up.

"I never said that's what we're doing. But he doesn't need to know." I smirked.

He rolled his optics. "You better not get caught."

"Please, he won't ever find out. I have over two hundred siblings. He'll never be able to call them all and ask if I was ever with them. He doesn't even know more than two."

"Fine. As long as you don't get caught."

"Oh, He'll never know." I paused. "Punchyouinthebolts!" I shouted as I punched him in the codpiece hard than bolted out of the room.

"AHH!" My poor friend shouted as he clutched his codpiece and doubled over.

I love that guy.

* * *

"Bye! Off to see sibs!" I kissed my trineleader on the lip plates.

"Don't be out too long." He ordered.

"I won't." I hugged him. "Love you bunches!"

"Love you even more." He kissed me on the cheekplates.

I let him go and hugged Skywarp. "Love you, too, Warp."

"Glitch, make me some damn energon and then tell me that."

"Glitch, make me make you some damn energon."

"Make me make you make me some damn energon."

I giggled and kissed him. "Yes, sir."

He kissed me back. "Love you. Be safe."

"Mhmm!" I skipped over to Skyfire and the both of us walked onto the balcony. We transformed and flew off, Skyfire taking the lead once we were out of view of the apartment.

We had to go to the edge of the city, which I'm not used to. The palace is in the very center of the city, everything having been built around it and the spirals. I only ever came to the edges when leaving or entering the city, never staying in these grounder infested regions. Skyfire descended and landed in front of a house. Like, an actual house. Not towers or a spiral. A house with no apartments and didn't touch the sky.

I transformed and landed beside him, jumping back when my peds touched the ground. I looked down and…. I screamed, quickly activating my thrusters and hovering a ways off the ground.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" I shrieked.

Skyfire looked at me like I was greatest idiot ever. "That, Seeker, is called 'dirt.'"

"Why is it so…. not metallic?" I looked at it as if it were a monster waiting to grab me.

"Because it's soft. So things can grow in it."

"THERE'S THINGS ALIVE IN IT!? I-I-I thought that was only on organic worlds?!"

"Vector Sigma…." He vented. "Have you seriously never been on dirt before? Have you ever gone into the wilderness before?"

"What if something reaches out and grabs me?! W-what if I die!?"

He grabbed me and yanked me down, forcing me to land. I clung to him, positive that I would die. But, nothing happened. My wings perked and I looked down. Then I looked up at him.

"I'm not dying…? Why?"

Skyfire rolled him optics, grabbed my arm, and dragged me to the front door. I just stared stupidly at the ground, amazed at this… dirt, powder, weird slag. He knocked on the door and waited. It was soon opened by a blue shuttle.

"Oh, there he is!" The shuttle smiled, hugging Skyfire. "I was wondering when you'll show up."

"Hey, carrier." Skyfire smiled as he hugged him back. "I brought my friend with me."

His carrier let him go. "Oh, is this Starscream. I've been so excited to meet h-" He stopped when he saw me. "Oh…. He's a… A… Ahem! Well, come in you two!" He gestured us inside.

My wings lowered, suddenly not feeling that comfortable. I wanted Thundercracker. He would defend me. I instinctively grabbed Skyfire's servo, needing to know he was there.

"Oilspill! Our son is here!" Skyfire's carrier called out.

I heard chuckling, a very gruff vocalizer, as a large grounder walked over from the other room. "Ah, there's my mechling." He hugged him, like only brutish grounders could. Like two planets colliding… "Are you getting shorter?" He acted like he was measuring him before giving a hearty laugh and patting Skyfire's shoulder.

"No, not growing anymore, sire." Skyfire smiled.

"Wait until you're my age. You start growing again. Only sideways!" He laughed patting his abdominal plates.

"Oh, sire, I want you to meet Starscream."

"Bought time I met him. Hear so much talk about-" He stopped when he saw me, his optics widening, then narrowing. "I want it out of my house." He snapped, his mood completely changed.

I was scared. I kept my wings low, optics on the floor, showing every sign of submission I could. I grabbed Skyfire's servo again, tugging it, wanting him to take me away from here.

"Watch how you talk to him." Skyfire jabbed a digit at his sire. "Starscream is the nicest mech you'll ever meet."

"Skyfire, he's a Seeker. Those things kill. They don't know anything else." He pointed at his helm. "Their processors are all jacked up. They are literally insane and incapable of empathy. They have to be kept on chains if used as guard dogs."

"None of that is true!" Skyfire exclaimed. "Sire, for _one_ orbital cycle can you _stop_ being a functionists?!"

"I'm not a functionist. I'm joined to a shuttle and have friends who aren't trucks. Functionists only stick to their own kind. It's simply a fact that Seekers are deadly, dumb, vicious beasts."

"They are not. Stop it. You're hurting my friend's feelings."

"They don't have those."

"I'm done. I'm not talking to you about this." He snapped. "Come on, Starscream. Let's see what carrier is doing." He dragged me along.

I followed, wiping at the coolant beginning to leak from my optics.

Skyfire sat at the table his carrier was setting for refueling. Skyfire pulled out a chair for me, but I needed comfort. I crawled onto his lap and sat there instead. He didn't even try to stop me. He stroked my wing, knowing I was upset.

"I'm sorry about him. I didn't expect him to be like that." He whispered to me. "Just ignore him."

I slowly nodded, grabbing his arm and making it wrap around me in a hug. He exhaled heavily. I wasn't sure if he was frustrated I was acting like a scared sparkling, or if he was frustrated with his sire for upsetting me. But, I had every right to be scared. His sire was massive, as big as him, and Seekers were attacked and killed by grounders. How was I supposed to know if his sire was one of those who did that or not?

"Here you are, mechs." Skyfire's carrier handed us a couple of glasses of energon and a bowl of energon goodies.

"Thanks, carrier." Skyfire smiled as he took his glass.

I perked my wings. "Thank you, sir." I said softly, taking my own glass.

Skyfire's creators sat across from us with their own glasses. Oilspill did not look happy at all.

"So, how is your break going?" Magnum asked, trying to cheer things up.

"It's going well." Skyfire replied. "I'm all signed up for classes. Gonna be with Starscream in… Was it four? Yeah, four classes. We'll going to end up being in every class together for all of this." He smiled.

"How are you liking the academy, Starscream?" Magnum asked me, smiling. I knew which one Skyfire got his nice side from.

I faintly smiled, keeping my optics down to show submission. "I like it a lot. It's fun." I traced patterns in the tabletop, nervous.

"Skyfire says you're really good."

"I try…" I was becoming sheepish, my wings lowering again.

"Skyfire said you have a little femmling."

That perked me up. My wings hiked up before fluttering. "Yeah…. Zephyr… She's my entire world."

"You have any pictures?"

I unsubspaced a datapad, went through it, and found a picture of my precious daughter smiling. I held it up and showed them. "That's my little princess."

"Aw, she's adorable. How old?"

"She's a stellar cycle now."

"Zephyr is such a cute designation. I love it. Looking at her makes me want another."

"Primus, no…" Oilspill grunted. "One is enough."

"I know. We'll just take Skyfire's creations." Magnum smiled.

"Yeah, that won't be for a while…" Skyfire grunted.

I flipped through the images until I found one of my entire trine and Zephyr. We were all sitting on the couch, Thunder in the middle with me to his left and Skywarp to his right, and Zephyr on his lap. He had that grin of his, Skywarp his dopey smile, and I had a faint smile. Zephyr was giggling, wearing a little tiara that my sire had sent her for her first emergence cycle. I held it up to them.

"The blue one is the sire. The black one is my other trinemate. We took this on her emergence cycle." I explained.

"Aw, that's so cute." Magnum smiled, taking the datapad to better look at the image. "I can definitely tell who she belongs to. She looks just like you two."

"They all look the same." Oilspill grunted. "And she'll become dangerous like the rest of 'em."

"Oilspill…" Magnum turned to him. "There are good Seekers out there. I used to work with them. Remember when I did the cargo rounds? I had Seeker patrols to guard me when coming in and out of the spaceport. They were all well-mannered and worked very well. Far better than the non-Seeker coworkers."

"All Seeker turn eventually and attack the servo that refuels them. The spaceport can only control them for so long."

"Sire…" Skyfire glared. "I brought my best friend over to meet you guys and have a pleasant visit. I did _not_ bring him over for you to insult and mock him or his frametype."

"Skyfire, you having a ticking bomb there. It's going to snap and attack you when you least expect it. They don't know anything else!"

"Will you just _stop it_!"

"I worry about my son's safety. It's like playing with fire. You may be able to control it for a time but then it will end up burning you and your house down. Skyfire, these things are not like other Cybertronians. They literally are built for combat. Their entire species i-is just fighting and killing and attacking each other and any who get too close. Skyfire, they _murder their own sparklings_! No civilized species does that!"

"Sire, there are many grounders who have killed their own sparklings, mates, friends, and just… Serial killers, sire. They come from _every_ frametype. It has _nothing_ to do with how they look like. It's a psychological thing. It has to do with how they were raised and th-the emotional-"

"Seekers train their young to kill. They solely exist to fight. Look at it, Skyfire! Everything about that thing is built for combat! It has built in guns!"

"If you hadn't noticed, he put them on when you started to threaten him." Skyfire snapped. "And I don't blame him."

"I don't want you around that creature. The academy shouldn't let it in. It's a threat to all the students. I'm going to write them a complaint that they are putting everyone in danger! Why is it even going to a science academy?! It's a dumb Seeker! They can't think! They aren't even sentient!"

"YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT STARSCREAM LIKE THAT!"

I took my datapad from Magnum and hopped off Skyfire's lap. "I-I'll leave." I choked out, starting to cry now. "I-I'm s-sorry for being a-a bother, s-sir." I turned to Magnum. "Th-thanks for the energon, s-sir." I inclined my helm respectfully to Magnum, then turned and started away.

"Starscream, wait." Skyfire got up and quickly came over to me. He crouched in front of me, a servo on my shoulder. "I'm sorry he's being like this." He said softly.

"I-I can't…" I swallowed. "I want to go. I'm s-sorry for ruining y-your visit."

"No, you haven't done anything wrong. Come here." He hugged me. "If you want to leave them we'll both leave."

"But d-don't you want to stay w-with your creators?"

"Not if sire is going to be hurting my best friend. How about we just go get some sweet energon, maybe see a movie, and just hang out. Sound good?"

I slowly nodded, wiping at my optics as I calmed down.

"Then that's what we'll do." He stood up. "We're going out. I'll call you guys later."

"Oh, okay, well, be safe, sweetie!" Magnum called out, obviously disappointed that Skyfire was leaving so soon.

"Mark my words, Skyfire. That thing will only bring about trouble!" Oilspill spat.

"Sure, sire." Skyfire grunted as he turned to walk away.

I took Skyfire's servo and held it as we left. I felt so much better getting out of that house.

"Well, now we know his thoughts…" Skyfire grunted.

"I just don't understand where all the hate comes from…" I said softly.

"Neither do I… Let's get you something yummy to eat. I'm buying."

"I can buy."

"Nope! I'm making things up to you."

I faintly smiled. "It's a date, then."

He smiled back at me. "Yeah. A date."

I fluttered my wings. He was the best friend ever.

* * *

 **This was a long chapter... Starscream still just doesn't understand how hawt he is and is accidentally turning on poor Skyfire. XD**

 **If you've noticed, Starscream throughout the story goes back and forth loving, fearing, and not being safe around Thundercracker. That's something abuse victims go through in an abusive relationship. A lot of times they stay because they feel like the abuser actually does love them. They are in a constant mental battle feeling loved and thinking they are loved when the abuser is nice to them, treats them well, etc. but then they go downhill when they are hurt, only to go back up when they are treated nice, etc. And because of that they never get enough of the "push" they need to recognize how bad it is and they need to get out.**

 **Why do toddlers always say how fat their fathers are? Never the mothers... My current job I work with 3-6 year olds and ALL of them keep saying their fathers are fat and have big butts. Like, every little kid I've met says this. Why? Idk... But I like to go ahead and have the sparklings do it. Take that, TC. Your daughter thinks you have a big butt! Probably because you're being such a butt head... XD**

 **Punishment and the way trinemates are treated is just so normal in their cultural that the trineleaders discuss it like it's nothing. This is all normal. The abuse is not abuse but just how things are done. This happens with our society. Killing and eating animals is wrong and unnecessary, making us sick and destroying the planet, but so many have had it instilled in their minds that it's "normal" and they just talk about murdering and gorging on corpses like it when it's NOT normal nor natural. The same with abusing children, being racist, and so many other horrible things. Hatred is simply taught.**

 **TC, Warp, and Star always are momma boys. I've always had them being such. You know they are! Widdle potato Seekers are momma boys. :3**

 **Cyberdogs are canon! And I've always had TC having one.**

 **Borealis is a Latina abuela (grandmother). I'm Hispanic and let me tell you... Latina women push food on you! And shame on you for saying you're not hungry! That new movie out, PIXAR's "Coco." Spot on with the Mexican culture. My abuelita is like that with the food. You take abuelita's food and don't you DARE say you're not hungry!**

 **Trinemates are always trained. I've had this in all my fics. Staying in formation, fighting properly, obeying the trineleader... They obey their trineleader very much like a dog obeys their handler. They give them short, vocal commands, servo gestures, snap their digits, etc. And the trinemates better obey immediately or else. If you recall from my other fics, Starscream loved to show off how well trained TC and Warp are to his commands.**

 **Breeding mates are basically sex slaves with some rights. They are like trinemates but only lower. They are taken for the sole purpose of breeding. The Alpha may take them simply for looks and good coding, maybe also for personality. It depends on the Alpha. Now, not all Alpha's have them or have that many. Some Alphas treat their breeding mates as equals as trinemates, some don't. Really, it boils down to how the Alpha views them. Skycutter actually loves his breeding mates. But, sadly he's very traditional so still believes he has to beat them and control them like property. But he doesn't see them beneath his trinemates. He sees them more like his own special mates that his trinemates are only allowed to touch if he says they can. He is far nicer to his breeding mates than many Alphas of the past.  
**

 **Maybe I should draw that breeding mate get up... I need to also draw the royal guard dressage... Ugh... I need to be better at drawing robots too... Why couldn't they be easy like dragons? But the breeding mate dressage really is about showing off wealth. If you have the money to make your slaves look so lavish, then you're pretty rich.**

 **Starscream hitting Skyfire and being so hyper is normal Starscream. The normal Starscream is there, he's just hiding who he really is a lot of the time out of being scared. But, he shows who he really is at times and soon he will completely himself.**

 **Those people who claim not to be racist simply because they have a "black friend..." Like, maybe you're not racist and that's why you have a black friend. Or, you ARE racist and that "black friend" is like... Just someone you added on facebook because you don't want to look racist. Basically is what's going on with Skyfire's sire. He's racist. Fuck you! I also want to say that a racist person once said I was racist because I'm vegan... How the hell that makes sense I have no fucking idea...**

 **It doesn't matter how you look or your species. That doesn't define your intelligence or if you're "inferior" or if you're a killer. Hating someone based on looks is what creates specieism (dogs are friends but cows are "food" and okay to murder), breedism (certain dog "breeds" are "evil" and "dangerous" and must be killed), racism, etc. It's not about how you look or your species. It's about who you are as an individual, what you were taught and how you grew up, the environment around you, etc. that will determine if you become a dangerous person or not.**

 **And even if someone is family, they don't "owe" you anything. If your father, mother, whatever is wrong and nasty, tell them so and get them out of your life if you have to. Skyfire knew his sire was wrong so took his friend away to defend him. Just because he was his "only sire" doesn't mean he owes him some special service and must allow him to abuse his friend. Skyfire is a true friend!  
**

 **And I put a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA! :)**


	9. Zephyr Starts School

**Chapter 9**

I'm skipping four stellar cycles. During those four skipped stellar cycles not a lot of highlights happened. It was pretty much the same thing. I went to my classes, got good grades in everything, I cared for Zephyr and watched her grow up so quickly, I cleaned the apartment and did everything my trineleader commanded of me. I got to visit my creators a few times and also my trinemates' creators. Skyfire didn't come with us those times. I was punished a lot… Even got a few floggings… And dominated twice. And Thundercracker forced himself on me a lot. Most of the time, really. But, we had our good times. There were good bonding moments, I played games with my trine, and I did feel their love. I did hang out with Skyfire, and Thundercracker let him come over more for study dates. There was drama, there were good times, there were adventures, and some parties that I dragged Skyfire to. But, none of that really is important enough to include in this story. Maybe another time I'll talk about it, but the next big highlight of my life would be on Zephyr's fourth emergence cycle. Things would start to change again for me.

"Happy emergence cycle!" The three of us cheered as I placed a cake on the table before my little princess.

"Make a wish." Thundercracker kissed her on the cheekplates.

Zephyr thought for a moment then blew out her candles as we clapped.

"Time for your presents. Here's something for your carrier." I handed her a box.

She smiled, opening it to find a new gaming system. "Yes!" She exclaimed as she held it up. "Thanks, carrier!" She hugged me.

I hugged her back, wings fluttering. "You're welcome, sweetspark."

"Here's something from your uncle." Skywarp handed her his gift.

She released me to open it finding several videogames for her new console. "Thanks, Uncle Warp!" She fluttered her wings, smiling broadly at him.

"Heh, anytime, princess." He grinned.

"Your sire got you the biggest gift." Thundercracker kissed her cheekplates before going to the couch and pulling out a new vidscreen in the box still from behind it. "Now, you can play your games quietly in your room."

Her optics were wide as she squealed. She jumped up and ran to her sire, hugging his leg. "Thank you, sire!"

He smirked. "Anything for my little princess."

"Can I play them now?!"

"We need to get everything set up first, sweetspark."

"Zephyr, come eat some cake. We'll let your sire and uncle get that all set up for you." I called as I cut her cake.

Zephyr ran over to me and sat back on the chair. Thundercracker and Skywarp took the vidscreen and her other presents to her room to assemble it all. I gave her a slice and myself one as I sat beside her.

"Having fun, love?" I inquired.

"Mhmm!" She nodded as she stuffed her faceplates.

"So… You know now since you're four what that means, right?"

"What?" She perked her wings as she looked at me.

"It means it's time to send you off to school. Your own school. Not carrier's school."

"My own school?"

"Mhmm. But a lot easier. Carrier does adult school, and you're going to do youngling school. That way, you get as smart as carrier so you can go to adult school when you're his age."

"Will you be with me?"

"Femme-friend, I would, but it's at the same time as my school. But, either I or your uncle will drop you off and pick you up. Princess, it's fun. Trust me. I _loved_ going to school at your age. I made a lot of friends."

"Like Skyfire?"

"Mhmm. You can have your own Skyfire. Just don't punch them. Only carrier can do that to his friends."

She was silent a moment before speaking. "Will I have to do homework?"

I chuckled. "Maybe. But carrier will help you. Promise. And, when you go to school you know what we'll do?"

"What?"

"We are going shopping, femme-friend! Get you some supplies like a fuelbox, maybe paint your wings."

"Can I paint them your colors?"

My spark melted. I just smiled. "Yes…. Yes, you may color them whatever color you want to."

"Can I still go to school with you?"

"We'll have to see what our schedules are like. If we can do it, yes. If not, maybe next semester."

She nodded. "Okay… When do I go?"

"Not for a couple of more decacycles. When it starts back is when we'll send you. Which, I still need to figure out the exact date on that."

"Hey, pipsqueak!" Skywarp called. "We got it all ready for ya!"

"Yay!" She hopped off the chair and ran up the stairs to her room.

I just sat there thinking, soon joined by my trineleader. He kissed me on the cheekplates, his servos feeling along my sides, then resting over my abdominal plates. He hugged me as he stood behind me, kissing me gently on the neck cables.

"I love you." I said barely louder than a whisper.

I rested a servo over his arm. "Love you, too." I quietly replied.

"Once our daughter is in recharge tonight I want to talk to you and Skywarp about something."

I looked up at him. "Yes, sir."

He kissed me on my lip plates. "She's growing so fast."

I faintly smiled. "Yeah… I was talking to her about school."

"Right. That's coming up here soon, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir. I wish she'd stop growing. I'm going to cry when she starts her first orbital cycle."

"I'll cry with you." He faintly smiled.

I fluttered my wings, holding his arms as he held me.

* * *

I kissed my daughter's helm as she recharged in her berth that night. I placed a blanket over her, making sure she was warm. Sparklings couldn't warm their engines all that well, and Iacon was cold. I hesitated, just studying my little femmling. I stroked her helm, wishing she would stay this small forever, and always be safe and happy.

"Recharge well, my little princess. Fly safe and true in your dreams, and never face your enemies alone." I whispered to her before kissing her once more.

I shut the door to her room and walked to Thundercracker's room. I entered and closed his door, not wanting her to hear any intimate sounds. My wings perked as I looked at my trinemates who were on the berth. Thundercracker gestured me over and I sat beside him. He wrapped his arms around us, holding us close to him.

"So," He began. "Zephyr is now four stellar cycles old. I want to of course space out creations for health and to ensure we are not drowned in sparklings. Now since Zephyr can take care of herself in a lot of the small things, we can have more time for a completely dependent sparkling." He paused to study us. I didn't look at him, but Skywarp had his wings perked. Thundercracker smiled. "I love you both so much and you both worked so hard in caring for Zephyr. So, you _both_ are getting sparked."

"Yes!" Skywarp exclaimed, jumping in excitement. "Finally!"

I didn't react. I expected this. Thundercracker just stroked my backplates.

He smiled. "Calm down, Skywarp. We're starting tonight."

"Can I plug them in? And can I go first!?" Skywarp was standing now as he bounced up and down.

Thundercracker thought for a moment before nodding. "Yes. Since Starscream was sparked first you may go first. Go ahead." He gestured to his lower torso.

Skywarp removed the panel and plugged in Thundercracker's nanite wires before closing the panel back up. He removed his codpiece and turned around, presenting himself to Thundercracker. Thunder let me go as he stood up. He wrapped his arms around Skywarp, soon entered him, and began to frag him.

I sat on the berth, my wings low, watching the floor as I listened to them.

Coolant started to leak down my cheekplates. And when it was my turn to be taken I cried.

* * *

I knocked on Skyfire's door, having learned to knock or else he would throw something at me for hacking. He soon opened the door.

"Hey, Starscream! How did Zephyr enjoy her presents?" His smile faded and wings lowered when he noticed my face. "What's wrong?"

I vented a sigh as I walked in and sat on his berth. He soon joined me.

"He's sparking me again." I said softly. "Skywarp too." Placed a servo over my abdominal plates. "Might be sparked right now. I don't know… I'm too scared to check."

He didn't speak immediately. "I'm sorry, Star… Is there anything I can do to help?"

I slowly shook my helm, coolant leaking out of my optics as my emotions betrayed me. "No. I have to submit to him. I mean… I-I've already gone through this. Having a sparkling and all. So… I-I know what to expect and that makes it less scary. I just wish… I wish I had a choice in my life. Th-the only choice I've ever had w-was who I trined. A-and sometimes I feel like I screwed that up. I love them but what if they weren't suppose to be my trine? What if..? I don't know… I feel like I don't belong sometimes… I just… Feel like m-my life is a joke a-and I'm not meant to be happy. But then th-that's just being a sparkling. A-and sometimes I-I wonder if maybe… Maybe things would j-just be better if I-I never existed. Like, M-maybe-"

"Stop it. That is…" Skyfire vented a sigh before pulling me onto his lap and hugging me. "Don't ever think those thoughts. Nothing would be better if you were gone. This world will just be dull without you. You're my best friend and I love you. Platonically, of course. And I know Skywarp loves you. I see how he looks at you and how he interacts with you. And Zephyr… She thinks the entire world of her carrier. That little femmeling loves you so much, Starscream. And she needs her carrier in her life."

I wiped at my optics as I slowly nodded my helm. "I just… I wish some things were different."

"Star… If you need to get away from him just tell me. I'll help you get out. You can move in with me, and so can Zephyr. I'll help you get a job, maybe we can find an apartment so we don't need to stay in this dorm, and we can raise Zephyr together. And we don't need to tell Thundercracker where you move to."

"He's her sire. He needs to be able to see his daughter. And… I-I can't, Skyfire. He's my trineleader. And I need to stay for Skywarp. He needs me. And Zephyr she wouldn't be able to handle that change. And then my school and just…. I can't leave." I vented a sigh. "Just another sparkling. It won't kill me. A-and then once I'm sparked he won't ask for interface for a while so… I-I can get a break."

"How will he ever survive not being able to interface the two of you? He's an addict."

"Not an addict. Just… Insatiable. Strong libido. It's a good thing. Shows he's a strong, fertile trineleader who can satisfy his trinemates and isn't weak. Only the best trineleaders are."

"Mhmm. Seriously, he's insane and I don't think he'll last."

"He has his servo. He'll be fine." I cuddled against him. "I want you there when my sparkling is born."

"Will Thundercracker allow that?"

"He'll be too excited for another creation to care." I looked up at him. "Promise me you'll be there."

He slowly nodded. "I promise."

My wings fluttered. "Maybe I'll have a mechling this time. Wonder what I would designate him?"

"Something cute like 'Zephyr.'"

I just smiled. "I think Skyfire is a cute designation."

That idiot had such a sheepish grin. I felt his embarrassment emanating from his chassis. "I don't think you want to designate your son after me."

"I think I know exactly who I want to designate my son after. You can be a god-sire."

"I don't think Thundercracker would like that."

"He has to share his son. I'm the one who does all the work, so I get a larger percentage of the share."

"You do do all the work."

I vented a sigh. "I probably should return before Thundercracker gets home. Thanks for listening."

"No need to thank me, Star." He smiled.

I faintly smiled, then kissed him on the cheekplates. "You're the best." I hopped off his lap and headed to the door.

"Uh, I… Th-thanks." He stuttered again. Wish he would stop.

I looked back at him, noticing his optics darting upward from what seemed to have been my aft. I gave him a puzzled look, but didn't think much of it. "I'll see you later, Skies. Oh, and don't forget to email that question to Professor Slide."

"Right, I'll aft-ASK him about the presentation."

I raised an optical ridge. "Think I should be worried?"

"Nah, just do your breast-BEST and you'll be fine. Uh… Real fine…" He made a coughing sound.

"You feeling alright?"

"Terrific!"

I place my servo on my hip, my aft still visible as I slightly turned to look back at him. I thought his optic darted to my breast plates… "Okayyyy….. Well, see you later."

"Mhmm!" He crossed his legs tightly. "See yah!"

I rolled my optics before walking out. Maybe it was just a shuttle thing.

* * *

A couple of decacycles passed. Thundercracker was still working on sparking me and Warp. So far, nothing, but he was determined. He fragged us every morning and evening, and on his orbital cycles off got as many as he could sneak in behind Zephyr's back. I tried to hide with my daughter as much as possible. He wouldn't force me to frag if he thought I was busy caring for her.

I was on the verge of tears when Zephyr started her first orbital cycle of school. I got her a refuelbox and helped paint her wings white and red as she had requested. I had given her some of my old toys from when I was a sparkling some time ago, and I had told her that my Captain Cosmo toy had gone to school with me every orbital cycle until 3rd grade, and she decided to bring him along in case he "missed learning." Well, I thought it was adorable. She even used the old backpack I had used when I was her age.

I flew her to her school and went in with her. She was excited. She couldn't wait to make friends and be more like her carrier.

"This is?" The femme at the front desk asked.

"Seeker Zephyr. Carrier designation is Seeker Starscream of Vos, and the sire is Seeker Thundercracker of Vos."

"Ah, here she is." She was typing on her computer. "You have in the notes to not have her around mech teachers?"

"Y-yes. She's, uh, is nervous around mechs other than family. It's just easier to let her be taught by femmes."

Zephyr looked at me oddly. "I'm not scared-"

"Sweetie, shh, carrier needs to talk to the femme." I said quickly.

The femme just gave me a look, but continued anyway. "No bus pickup or drop off?"

"Negative, ma'am. Her creators and uncle only will be dropping her off and picking her up. A-and I read that you have a special security program about that."

"Yes, IDs must be present in order to pick up any student. We do not let any student go home with someone unless they present a valid ID. And if someone other than those listed in our file picks her up we need to be informed prior and they must also have an ID."

"No one else will pick her up… Emergency contacts?"

"We have listed here… Seeker Skywarp, Seeker Skycutter, Seeker Moonlight, Seeker Borealis, Seeker Quickstrike, and Seeker Hypersonic. All of their addresses are in Vos. Do you have anyone in Iacon we could reach incase Seeker Skywarp doesn't pick up."

"Um… Yeah. Shuttle Skyfire of Vos. Here, let me get you his number." I wrote it down for her along with his dorm address.

"And you requested special care instructions?"

"Yes, she's a Seeker so her wings are very sensitive. And… No diesel, oil, or jet fuel. Just energon. Seekers take a little longer to be able to process those."

"What's this about no grounders?"

"Oh, that was her sire. Just erase that." I gave a dismissive wave. "It's fine for her to be around grounders. Just… No adult mechs. And never let her be alone, o-or to be alone with a single teacher, a-and make sure the cameras are always on her."

She looked at me. "Sir, there's no need to worry. Your daughter is perfectly safe. She will never be unmonitored, all of our staff have had background checks and are highly trained in handling sparklings."

"Things can still slip by."

"We do our best to ensure nothing slips by."

I wanted to say something more, but slowly nodded my helm. "I-is there anything else?"

"No, it looks like everything is good. And your payment is by card from Seeker Thundercracker?"

"Yes. Her sire covers all finances. Call him if there's anything concerning payment."

"Alright, well, you're good to go. You may take her to the back and Miss Snowdrift will take it from there."

"Thank you, ma'am." I turned to Zephyr and picked her up, placing her on my hip. I walked to the door and palmed it open. I tried to hide my trembles. It looked just like my first school. The decorations, the set up, the sparklings all running around. I had to reset my optics, seeing him. He's not there. I know he wasn't. But he refuses to leave me. "Miss Snowdrift?" I perked my wings.

"That's me." A white femme smiled. "And this is?"

"Seeker Zephyr."

She checked her datapad and made a checkmark. "Got it." She set it down and turned to Zephyr. "Hello, Zephyr. I'm Miss Snowdrift and I'm going to be your teacher. Here, let me take those, sweetspark." She said as she took Zephyr's fuelbox and backpack.

I set down my daughter and crouched in front of her. "Ready for this?"

She nodded. "Yeah." Her wings were low and I knew she was nervous.

"Listen, if you need me, sir, or Uncle Warp you just call us on the communicator sire gave you. Alright?"

"Alright." She nodded.

I kissed her on the cheekplates. "Fly safe and true until we meet again."

"May the wind currents guide you safely to your destination." She finished the Seeker farewell.

"Pick your fights. Never battle alone. It is better to flee and live, then fight and die when there is no need."

"Tear out my enemies optics lest they still watch me in their death."

I faintly smiled. "Never forget, you're a warrior first, a peacemaker second, and Seeker always."

"I won't, carrier."

"Leave your enemies' helms to dry before bringing them home." I kissed her brow. "I'll pick you up at 15:00 sharp."

"Yes, sir." She saluted me.

I saluted her back before standing. "Be a good soldier."

"I will!" She smiled, fluttering her wings before hugging my leg.

I turned to Snowdrift. "Take good care of her."

She seemed a little concerned of the conversation my daughter and I just had. "She's perfectly safe, sir."

I perked my wings, not having been called sir since the War Academy. "Thank you. Alright, princess. Your sire and I will get you in a bit. Have fun!"

"Bye!" She waved.

I walked away and closed the door. Then my separation anxiety kicked in. Coolant started to leak out as I walked for the door.

"First one?" The receptionist asked.

I stopped and looked at her, nodding. "Yeah. I knew I was going to cry." I wiped at my optics. "This is her first time away. Primus, I feel like I need to go back in there."

She just smiled. "It gets easier."

"I don't think it'll ever be easy for me. And we're working on a second. If I'm this bad with one I can't imagine how hard it will be when I have two."

"I've gone through this with two. It does get easier. And she's perfectly safe here."

I slowly nodded. "Better be…" I exhaled slowly. "Because if any harm comes to her I will tear each and everyone one of you apart. There will be nowhere you can hide that I won't find you. I will hunt you to the ends of the galaxy. Your limbs will be torn off, your organs scattered across the stars, and your helms on spikes outside of this place after I burn it to the ground. And then I'll hunt down your family members." I said calmly, my wings hiking.

Her optics were wide, absolutely horrified. I walked out, leaving it on that note.

* * *

I could barely concentrate in my classes, feeling so… Naked without my daughter with me. Skyfire noticed my apprehension.

"You alright."

"Zephyr started her first orbital cycle of school. I am losing my processor."

He smiled. "Big orbital cycle for her. She's growing up so fast."

"Wish she would stop. She's my little princess… She needs to stay tiny forever."

"She'll always be your little princess." He stroked my wings.

"I need to get the hell out of here and go get her."

He just chuckled.

* * *

I raced over when it was time to pick up my daughter. I didn't care if I was ahead of my trineleader. This carrier needed his sparkling!

We transformed and landed before going inside. I quickly showed my ID to the receptionist and waited eagerly for my little femmling to come out. Thundercracker stood beside me, servos clasped behind his back and his wings held high. Skywarp stayed in formation behind him, but I was having trouble holding still by the door.

It soon opened and my precious, little, love-of-my-life walked out. "Carrier!" She smiled running over to me.

I got on one knee and embraced her in a hug. "Oh, my sweetspark!" My wings fluttered. "I missed you!" I kissed her cheekplates. "How was it?"

"I made you something!" She held up a metal sheet that she had glued smaller metal pieces on to make a crude drawing.

I took it. "Femme, this is beautiful! I love it!" My wings fluttered harder as I kissed her cheekplates. "This is going on the wall. Thunder, look what your daughter made. She's so talented." I just kept kissing her cheekplates. "Oh, carrier loves you."

She smiled, her little wings fluttering. "Love you, too, carrier."

"Go hug your sire."

She let me go and turned to him. She stopped, then stood at attention when noticing his commanding pose. She knew the rules. We trained our sparklings well, as all Seekerlets are trained since birth. Warrior culture.

Thunder just smirked. "At ease, soldier."

She relaxed and ran over, hugging his leg. He picked her up, hugged her, then placed her on his hip. "How was it, princess?"

"It was fun!" She wrapped her arms around his neck. "We got to draw, and build things, and play games!"

"Sounds like an adventure. I want to hear all about it. But at home. Your sire needs to rest because he had a long orbital cycle at work."

"Sit on your big aft and watch TV?" She giggled.

He rolled his optics. "Something like that." He kissed her cheekplates. "Who's the best sire?"

"You are!" She hugged him again.

"Mhmm. Want to get some sweet energon to celebrate surviving your first orbital cycle at school?"

"YES!" She flung her fists in the air excitedly.

He smirked. "Alright. Let's go." He then held her upside down eliciting a squeal. "Is this how carrier carries you?"

"No!"

"You sure?"

"Sire!"

He chuckled as he put her back on his hip properly. She hugged him, her optics on me as I followed in formation behind her sire. I winked at her, and she giggled. I subspaced her craft and backpack before taking off with my trine.

* * *

I tucked her into berth that night, giving her an extra blanket because it was going to be colder than usual outside. She hugged her stuffed turbofox, watching me.

"Carrier,"

"Yes, princess?"

"Can you recharge with me?"

I faintly smiled. "Sure, sweetspark. I'll come join you in a bit. I'm going to stay up a bit longer with your sire and play with him."

"More wrestling?"

"Yes. You know he loves to wrestle all the time. It makes him feel powerful. Now, offline your audio receptors and go to recharge."

"Okay… Love you."

"Love you, too, princess." I kissed her brow. "Sweet dreams. Conquer your enemies and leave none alive."

"I will." She smiled.

I kissed her brow again before walking out of her room and closing the door. I went into Thundercracker's room and locked the door. My trineleader smiled when I came in, his codpiece already open and his spike eager.

"You are the most impatient mech ever." I grunted as I approached him.

He chuckled. "I am."

I glanced at Skywarp who was lying on the berth, ready for when he would be taken. I turned back to Thundercracker, then kissed him on the lip plates.

"Mmm, lie on the berth." He purred.

I bit my lower lip plate, nervous, not wanting to be beneath him. I swallowed before speaking. "Can we do something new?"

He raised an optical ridge. "New how?"

"Still interface. But, like… A different position. Just to try it out? Please?"

"Why you want to do something different?"

"Just to see." I shrugged. "If you don't like it we don't need to do it again, but… Maybe you will and we can do it again. Don't know unless you give it a try."

He eyed me, thinking. "Fine. What new position do you want to try?"

"Just, stay sitting." I then go on top of him, grabbing the arms of the chair to help me balance until I was in position. I heard his engine growling, not liking being on the bottom, but I grabbed his spike, removed my codpiece, and got it in me before he could think about doing something. "Not being dominant, sir." I kept my wings low as I grabbed his shoulders. "You will always be my superior. And I'm alright with that." I kissed him on the lip plates. "Take me."

His wings hiked, but his engine ceased growling. His servos grasped my hips as he adjusted himself. He kept his optics on mine, narrowed and bright.

I looked down, then I begun to lift myself up and down on his spike, gasping and moaning. It felt weird, having to do the work. I had never done this before and knew I was probably terrible, but, I was controlling the thrusts which meant he couldn't hurt me with being too harsh. And I loved that.

He soon relaxed, letting me have control. He did force me to go a little faster, but I calmed him down by kissing him on the lip plates. His servos were all over me, sending electrical currents into my transformation seems, and groping my aft and breast plates. I removed my chestplates, knowing he wanted them open. He surprised me by getting his face in there and licking my spark casing, causing me to gasp and moan loudly.

He removed his own chestplates before we overloaded, spark bonding fiercely. I cried out, clutching him tightly. I panted in his faceplates, sitting on him still inside of me.

"Not bad." He smirked. "Might need more practice, though."

I faintly smiled. "We could always try something else."

"Such as?"

He was in a good mood and I was willing to take advantage of that. "Why don't you relax on the berth and let your submissives do all the work?"

"Top me?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir. Just to see if you like it."

He thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I suppose we could try."

My wings fluttered as I hugged him. "Thank you, sir. This is gonna be fun."

And it was fun. He lied on his back on the berth while Skywarp and I rode his spike. It didn't hurt, it felt wonderful, and we were all laughing and smiling. It felt like how bonding should be. And maybe it was this love, this true passion and desire that caused the spark bonding to go just right.

* * *

"Maybe I ate bad energon?" Skywarp moaned as he lied on the couch, his fuel tank aching.

I hadn't been feeling well either. It had been a few orbital cycles since we had that special bonding night. Every night after had been the same routine.

I nuzzled olfactory sensors with Skywarp, purring my engine. "Let me get the scanner."

"Okay…"

I went to Thundercracker's room, rummaged through his drawers, and found the scanner. I returned to Skywarp and held it over his abdominal plates, running the scan sensor over him. My wings perked as I read the results.

"Well? Am I dying?" He asked.

I slowly shook my helm. "No. Actually, you are carrying a new life."

His optics widened and he sat up so fast. He snatched the scanner from me and stared at the results. Then, his optics filled with coolant.

"I-I'm gonna be a carrier?"

I nodded as I smiled. "Yeah. You're sparked."

"YES!" He leaped up. "FINALLY!" He spun around on a thruster heel. "I-I gotta call carrier! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He squealed.

"Shhh, calm down. The protoform is delicate. Don't hurt it with all the jumping. You'll lose it."

"Right! No jumping." He held still, then perked his wings. "What about you?"

I swallowed, then held out my arm and scanned myself. I read the results, feeling weak in my legs. I sat down quickly, my wings lowering.

"What's wrong?" Skywarp asked as he sat beside me.

"Positive." I said softly.

"Eeeee! Both sparked!" He hugged me tightly, wings fluttering. He looked at the scanner. "Oh! Looks like he sparked us on the same night! How cool is that? This is awesome! We need to surprise him."

I looked at him. "How?" I asked quietly.

Skywarp's wings lowered. "Star…" He said softly. "Y-you have a sparkling in you. This is reason to celebrate. Not be sad."

"Yeah… Guess so.." I looked down, wings still low.

Skywarp just watched me in silence for a moment before speaking. "Want me to pick up Zephyr from school?"

I slowly nodded.

He kissed me. "This is good, Star." He paused. "Congrats. You're gonna have two to call your own."

I waited until he had gotten up and left before I allowed coolant tears to leak from my optics. Once he left the apartment I let it all out and cried.

* * *

I was lying on my back on the couch when Skywarp came home with my daughter. She ran over and shoved her newest craft in my faceplates.

"Look what I made!" She smiled.

"That's nice, sweetie." I said softly, not sounding thrilled at all.

Her wings drooped. "What's wrong?" She asked, sounding hurt.

I rubbed over my faceplates as I slowly sat up. "I'm not mad at you, sweetspark. Carrier just feels really sick."

"Why are you sick?"

"Well… I need to talk to you about that. Come here." I patted my lap.

She set aside her craft and climbed onto my lap. Skywarp sat beside me.

"So…" I thought about how I would word this. "You know how sparklings come from their carriers? How you were once inside of carrier because you were too small to come out? Then you grew big enough that you could come out and I gave birth to you? And when I gave birth to you is the orbital cycle we celebrate your emergence?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, your sire has _so much_ love in him that he took mine and Skywarp's love and he gave us each a sparkling. A little, tiny, precious sparkling that he put inside of us. One in me, and one in Skywarp. And now, carrier and your uncle are carrying little sparklings until they are big enough to come out."

Her optics widened. "You have a sparkling in you?"

I nodded. "You know how carrier and sire have a bunch of siblings? It's because our carriers had a bunch of sparklings in them. You are getting your own siblings. One in me, and one in Skywarp. You're going to be a big sister."

A massive smile grew on her faceplates. "Really?"

I faintly smiled. "Really. And you're going to help us take care of them. Because you are going to be the best big sister ever."

"Eeee!" She squealed. "I'm gonna be a sister!"

I kissed her cheekplates, then took her servo and rested it over my abdominal plates. "Your sibling is in carrier right here. When they get big enough you'll be able to feel them moving around."

She bounced excitedly on my lap as she pressed both servos on my plates. "When do I get to see them!?"

"In a stellar cycle. It just takes a little while for them to grow. But when they do come out, you'll be there. We have to go to a doctor and everything. The doctor helps them come out because sometimes they have a little trouble wiggling out. And doctors are trained how to help them get out of carriers safely."

"What's their designations?"

"I don't know yet." I stroked her backplates. "See, we don't even know if they're mechlings or femmlings yet. They're too small to tell. But once they've been in carrier for four decacycles they'll be big enough that we'll know. Then, we can designate them. And you can help carrier pick out a designation."

"Can I help Uncle Warp too?"

"Of course. We need to find the perfect designation for them." I kissed her brow. "So… We're going to surprise your sire. He doesn't know we have the sparklings in us. When you use your love to put a sparkling in your trinemate you have no idea if it worked or not for a few orbital cycles. We have to use this thing here, the scanner, to see. So, Skywarp and I just found out that sire was successful with his love."

"Can I tell him?!"

"You will. But we gotta make it a surprise. So… How should we surprise him?"

"Boxes are presents!"

"Not putting me in a box…" I kissed her cheekplates.

"Then how we surprise sire?"

"I have an idea."

* * *

"I'm home!" Thundercracker called when he entered the apartment.

"Sire!" Zephyr exclaimed as she ran over, arms held out.

He smiled, getting down on a knee and catching her in a hug. This was their usual greeting whenever he came home.

"Sire, look!" She held up her craft from school. "It's you and carrier! And dere's Uncle Warp!"

"Ooh, very nice. Princess, you keep bringing home these masterpieces and we'll run out of room on the wall!"

She giggled, her wings fluttering.

He stood up as Warp and I approached. "And how are my beautiful trinemates?" He asked as we hugged him, his arms wrapping around us.

"Doing awesome." Skywarp fluttered his wings.

"We got something for you." I kissed him on the cheekplates.

"Oh? What did you get?"

"Zephyr, what did carrier and Uncle Warp get sire?"

She held up a box. "Carrier said not to let me see what's inside." She blurted out.

Thundercracker raised an optical ridge at me before taking the box. "Is it a helm?"

"Yes. We killed the mailmech." I replied nonchalantly.

"Well, he did seem odd." He opened the box, making a very puzzled face when he saw a spike pump. "The hell is this for?"

"Read the note."

"'Enjoy dating your servo and this toy. You'll need it for the next stellar cycle while your trinemates die from what you slagging did to us.'" He read. It took him a moment before his optics widened, getting it. He turned to me. "Really?"

I smirked. "We both are."

Skywarp hugged him. "Thank you, Thunder. I'm so excited." He fluttered his wings.

I kissed my trineleader. "Our little princess is excited to be a big sister."

He just hugged us close. "I love you two." He kissed us on the lip plates. "I am so happy. We should celebrate."

"I just want to rest. Been feeling ill."

"Same." Skywarp said softly.

"I'll get you two some cake. How about that?" Thunder suggested.

"That works for me." I kissed him. "May I inform my family and friends?"

"Yes, you both may. I'll call my carrier and let her know."

I let go of my trineleader. "I am going to my room to purge and die. I demand my cake brought to me along with your spike on a platter."

Thundercracker chuckled. "Duly noted."

"What's a spike?" Zephyr asked.

"It's a _vile_ thing, Zephyr." I said quickly. "Only people who wish to have their trinemates suffer and die possess them. Avoid the things at all costs."

Thundercracker just chuckled. "Love you, too."

"Mhmm." I picked up my daughter and placed her on my hip. "We are going to hang out and do homework. See you later."

"I'll bring you cake in a bit, love."

I went to my room and closed the door. I sat at my desk and placed Zephyr on my lap and hugged her gently. She fluttered her wings, smiling so cutely.

"I love you." I said softly.

"Love you too, carrier." She replied.

I vented a sigh, studying her for a moment before speaking. "No matter what happens when your siblings arrive, I will always love you. Understand?"

She nodded. "Why you say that?"

"Because… Little sparkling take a lot of time so I won't be able to hang out with you as much. But that doesn't mean I don't love you. Just means your sibling needs carrier to help them until they are big like you are and can take care of themselves."

"Okay… but I'll help you, right?"

"Of course, sweetspark. You'll help me and Uncle Warp. You're the best helper ever." I kissed her brow. "Now, let's get this homework done."

"Okiedokie!" She bounced on my lap, eager to help.

I kissed her cheekplates, controlling my emotions. I never wanted to cry in front of my creations if I could help it.

* * *

"Yo." Skyfire smiled as I sat beside him in class. "So, for our final project, did the professor say we had to turn it in on-" He stopped, his wings lowering. "Who do I need to punch?"

"Why are you always able to read my emotions no matter how hard I try to hide them?" I asked, not looking at him as I set up my desk.

"Because I know you. What's wrong?"

"I'm sparked." I replied calmly. "I feel nauseous, my helm is killing me, and my trineleader is pleased." I looked up at him. "I'm being a good trinemate."

"I don't know what to say that hasn't been said already."

"I'm not leaving him. It's just a sparkling." I said flatly, turning back to my datapads.

"What about Skywarp?"

"He's also sparked and is exuberant. Zephyr is excited."

"When's your sparkling shower?"

"My what?"

"You know… A party to celebrate being sparked."

"Never heard of them."

"Well… You want one?"

"I don't want to celebrate this…."

"You don't have to."

I rested a servo over my abdominal plates, silent a moment as I just thought about the little one inside of me. "You ever wanted to be the carrier or sire?"

"Why you ask that?"

"Just curious."

"Probably sire. I think I would die during labor. I'm not built for handling such things."

I faintly smirked. "It's something else." I took his servo and made it rest over my abdominal plates.

"Why you doing that? The sparkling isn't kicking yet."

"I know… It just… I feel better when someone has their servo over me. Makes me feel less nauseous."

"Want me to take you to a doctor?"

I shook my helm. "Thunder will. I already called him this morning and told him I've been feeling really sick. Skywarp barely managed to get out of berth." I fluttered my wings as I smiled, thinking. "Hey."

"Hey, what?"

"No interface for me for a stellar cycle. Thunder is gonna get tired of his servo before it's up."

Skyfire stroked my backplates. "I'm glad you're getting a break. Make sure to recharge a lot."

"I will. Trust me. I will." I leaned against him.

He stroked my wings so gently, relaxing me. I purred my engine as I offlined my optics, enjoying his touches. I let my processor wander, and I had a scary thought that I became ashamed of. I thought that… I wished I had his sparkling in me. I banished the thought from my processor as quickly as I could. It scared me. I felt like I needed to be punished for it. I sat up and quickly went to work, trying to think only about how much I loved my trineleader. I had his sparkling in me and I only would bear his creations. And if I should ever have anyone else's sparkling I only would deserve to be beaten for it. My place was belonging to Thundercracker. No one else.

* * *

Not much else happened for the next five decacycles. Same routine of classes, homework, taking care of Zephyr, going through the suffering of being sparked, getting a few aft beatings for acting up, and laughing at Thundercracker whenever I caught him making love to his servo. The servo would end up making pain to my aft until he learned to get over it. I did my best to please him by giving him servojobs whenever he brought home cake or helped around the apartment. Skywarp and I were so sick much of the time we couldn't do anything. I even gave Thunder oral when he, believe it or not, cleaned the entire apartment on his own. But, perhaps he feared the wrath of carrying trinemates more than his pride of being a trineleader. So long as he helped I didn't care.

When we were four decacycles along we got an ultrasound. I had a little femmling in me and Skywarp a mechling. I was so happy to be having another femmling. I feel like I'm just better at raising them. Maybe I would be good with a mechling, but after Zephyr I felt like I was meant to only raise femmlings.

Well, I was almost six decacycles along and starting to be obvious I had something in me. I no longer could transform, I was walking funny, and my servos were glued to my abdominal plates. The slight bulge was appearing on my abdomen from my gestation tank stretching to make room for the protoform. I hated it. It was hard to tell from the front, but looking at me sideways you could see it.

Anyway, Zephyr was now five stellar cycles old and had started first grade. She had been attending for a while when a parent-teacher conference was held. I was excited to go and see what she was doing at school. Thundercracker had work so wouldn't be able to come, and Skywarp was feeling sicker than normal that orbital cycle. I was sad I had to go alone, but, looking back I think Primus, or fate, wanted me to go alone. And I'm so thankful that I did.

I sat in one of the classrooms they had set up with rows of chairs for the creators. I sat with Zephyr next to me, anxious because most of the people there were grounders. My servo absently rubbed over my abdominal plates as I waited our turn to talk to her teacher.

We were there for about three breems, Zephyr playing a game on her datapad and I talking to her, before a femme approached me.

"Hey, how far along are you?" She asked with a smile, obviously carrying herself with how her servo was over her own abdominal plates.

I lowered my wings in submission, but managed a small smile. "Just about six decacycles. You?"

"Four. Just found out it's a little femmling." She smiled.

I managed to perk my wings a little. "I have a femmling, too."

"This your second?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"This is my third and last. We're stopping at three."

"I'll have to see how many my mate wants to stop at." I said softly.

"This one yours?"

"Yes, this is my princess, Zephyr." I stroked my daughter's helm.

Another femme came over. "Glad I'm not the only one with a sparkling in me. What you two got?"

"Both femmlings." The first femme replied.

"I got two mechlings in me."

More came over, mech and femmes, all carrying at some stage. I enjoyed talking to them. It felt nice having others to talk about what I was feeling. Having a second creation, raising them, caring for them, how it sucked to be sparked, everything. I couldn't talk to Skyfire about this. Not even Gearshift. He was the sire so didn't understand the carrying part. I soon no longer felt anxious and was enjoying myself. We made a circle of the chairs and just talk about being carriers. I wanted to have more talks like this. But, I was soon called.

I took Zephyr's servo, said farewell to my new acquaintances, and went into the other room. I sat on the chair in front of the teacher's desk, Zephyr sitting on the chair beside me. I perked my wings, eager to hear how well my daughter was doing.

"So, how is she?" I smiled.

The teacher, Miss Crimson, didn't seem as happy. "Seeker Starscream," She looked up from the datapad that had all the creators' information on. "Are you alone?"

"Yes. The sire wasn't able to make it. Why?"

"Well, I have some… things to show you. And before I do I just want to say that… You can trust me."

I raised an optical ridge. "I'm not sure I understand…."

She then produced a datapad and held it out. "Your daughter has been drawing some… disturbing images." She said softly. "Images from what appears to be home."

My optics widened as I took the datapad, my wings lowering. On it was a crude drawing of me crying, Thundercracker hitting me with an angry face, and Zephyr screaming with the words, "Don't hurt carrier!" above her.

"There's more, if you would keep scrolling." Miss Crimson said softly.

I did. Drawing after drawing of me being hurt, crying, Thundercracker attacking me, beating Skywarp, Skywarp crying, and Zephyr screaming for it to stop. I managed to hold it in until I saw one drawing where Zephyr was standing between me and her sire, facing him with a gun and saying, "You don't hurt carrier anymor." Coolant started to leak from my optics.

"I-I don't know…" I stopped, not sure what to say.

"There's more." Miss Crimson then handed me another datapad.

Zephyr drooped her wings, then hugged my arm, seeing how upset I was. I looked at the images on this datapad and felt my spark sinking. Drawing after drawing of Zephyr…. Killing her sire. He would be cut in half in some as she held a sword, or shot to death while she pointed a gun. Many she was beating her sire as I and Skywarp cheered her on. Some her sire was dead on the ground, energon everywhere, her standing over him, and Skywarp and I thanking her for "saving us." The piece that hurt the most was one where she had herself telling her sire that she "hated" him and calling him every bad word she knew.

I didn't know what to say. What to think. I was just crying, horrified and scared by this. "I-I don't…" I couldn't.

Miss Crimson spoke. "You're not alone. Domestic abuse is not uncommon. There are ways of getting help. And I can help you." She said softly. "If you're scared to leave there are safe houses you can get to where you will be protected. He will never get to you or Zephyr."

"I-It's not abuse." I finally managed to choke out. "I-I screw up and n-need to be punished."

"Abusers try to manipulate their victims into believing such things. Everyone makes mistakes, but to hurt someone over those mistakes is wrong. There are better ways of handling disagreements. Couple's counseling, talking, making deals… No one should be hurting you."

I swallowed. "I-I can't leave… H-he's my trineleader, a-and I… I'm sparked. I-I can't take care of myself."

"There are programs that will help you, Zephyr, and your sparkling. Starscream," She put her servo on mine. "You're not alone in this. You can get help and we are willing to help you." She paused. "Think about your sparklings. This is obviously hard on Zephyr. She's not happy seeing you being hurt. She loves you."

"I-it's not that simple." I said barely louder than a whisper. "H-he… He has to punish me."

"He hurts you." Zephyr said suddenly.

I turned to her, my wings drooping. "Sweetie, sometimes carrier-"

"I don't want him hurting you." She snapped, her wings flaring. "H-he hurts you and Uncle Warp and I _hate it_! He shouldn't hurt you!"

"Zephyr… Y-you'll understand when you're older."

"I hate him!"

"You don't mean that, sweetie." I swallowed, wanting to only cry harder.

"You said to fight your enemies. Sire is my enemy."

"He's not your enemy… Zephyr… Please… Y-you played with him last night."

"He wasn't hurting you."

"Starscream," Miss Crimson interrupted. "You don't need to be hurt. Not by anyone. There are many who will help you." She handed me a card. "Call that number. I put my personal comm frequency on the back. Please… Reach out."

I swallowed, then subspaced her card. I handed her back the datapads and slowly stood up. "I-I think Zephyr and I need to return home. Thank you, ma'am." I inclined my helm respectfully before picking up my daughter, placing her on my hip, and leaving.

I walked out of the building, avoiding optic contact with everyone. Zephyr didn't talk to me on the trip home. When we did arrive home she jerked her servo out of my hold and stomped to her room.

"Hey, princess." Thundercracker smiled, his wings then lowering when she ignored him and slammed the door to her room. "What's her problem?"

I sat on his lap and curled into his chassis. "She's tired." I hugged him, silent as I felt him hold me in his strong arms. "I love you." I said quietly.

"I love you, too." He kissed me on the brow.

I was silent a bit before speaking. "I-I'll always love you."

He looked down at me, then lifted my chin so I would look at him. "I'll always love you, more." He kissed me on the lip plates. "What's wrong, my love?"

I was scared to tell him the truth. "I just… Had a scary thought."

"What?"

"That you…. Would be taken from me."

"Why would I be taken from you?" He perked his wings.

"Just… Grounders seem to think that you… 'Abuse' me, when I know you don't. And I heard that abusers get taken away from their mates. I just worry that someone… Might do that to you."

He stroked my backplates. "No one will take me away from you."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He kissed me again. "Just ignore those grounders. They have no idea what they're talking about."

I slowly nodded. "She's doing well in school."

"Of course she is. She's our daughter." He smiled proudly.

"I… I want to make you happy, tonight."

"Oh?"

"I'm just… Scared and… I don't know."

"Starscream… No one is separating us. Grounders act like they know everything… They're idiots." He grunted.

I slowly nodded. "Yes, sir." I snuggled against him, listening to his engine hum. "I love you…. Till the bitter end."

He kissed me. "I love you more, till the bitter end."

* * *

 **It's always fun writing about a warrior culture and their babies. XD Of course they train them from birth how to fight, be soldiers, and to kill their enemies. I'd teach my spawn to kill their enemies too...**

 **Starscream has a long to-do list for taking care of his baby! I'm the same way. Should see the long-ass lists I make when someone is going to take care of my furbabies. And Starscream not wanting mech teachers is because of Brakelight. And I do threaten people that if they hurt my furbabies I'll disembowel them. Starscream is good mommy! And I have separation anxiety about leaving my babies behind. Even with like the groomer I leave crying when my dog has to stay...**

 **Note that Nacreous was not on the emergency contact list. Starscream is still hurt by him betraying him when he called Thundercracker.**

 **Zephyr's drawings started when she was in first grade, mostly. I drew pictures of me killing my abusive parents when I was little. It's common for little kids to draw those they hate dying or them killing them. And Zephyr feels like she still likes her sire when he's being nice to her and everything, but when he hurts her carrier or Skywarp, or when she thinks about him doing so she hates him. She's being manipulated to. Going back and forth from loving to hating him because he's so loving to her, he's usually loving towards his trinemates in front of her, but then there are those times things are bad. And her being a baby and being told that it's "normal" is messing her up.**

 **Next chapter will be insane. I thought I would get to the beginning of insane shit in this one but I didn't. Next one, then! And things will start to get really crazy as Star's mental health keeps going down. MWUAHAHAHAHA!**


	10. Don't Do Drugs

**Chapter 10**

"I never drew anything like that or hated my sire when I was her age. And I saw sire beat the complete _slag_ out of my carrier, uncles, and aunts." I continued, having told Skyfire all about Zephyr's drawings in school and what she said to me. "She can't be like this forever, right?"

"I'm proud of her." Skyfire replied as he sat on a chair facing me.

"The hell? Sky, she said she _'hates'_ her sire. The guy who put her in me. The guy who is providing everything for us and is protecting her from outside threats. The one where… She wouldn't exist without him."

"He hurts her carrier. She has every right to be pissed at him and I'm so proud she spoke up to you about it. That is a brave, independent femme and I know she'll achieve great things in life. I would like to shake her servo."

I gave him a look. "You slagging me? This is _serious_ , Skyfire!"

"I know. I'm being serious."

"Skyfire…" I vented a sigh. "This is normal. That a trineleader punishes their subordinates. This is just how things are. How they've always been."

"So, if something has always been done does that make it right?"

"Obviously, or else they wouldn't be doing it anymore."

"Rape has always been done. Murder has always been done. Raping sparklings always has been done." He said with crossed arms, giving me a stern look. "Enslaving others has always been done."

"This is different." I snapped.

"Not at all. Just because something has 'always been done,' or it's something our ancestors did does not mean it's 'right' nor 'justifiable.' Sometimes, they are just bad, unnecessary things and progression is changing things for the better by moving away and ending those bad things. Tradition doesn't always mean a thing is right. There are cultures who always kill someone for a celebration or something like that. Is it right because they've always done it? Because it's just a 'cultural thing?'"

I didn't speak immediately. "Punishing a trinemate because they've acted up is simply punishing them." I said softly, getting so tired of this argument.

"Do all Seekers behave as your trine does? With the beatings, rape, and being so strict about everything?"

"Yes. But there's no rape."

" _Every_ trine? Every Seeker alive right now is like this?"

"… No…"

"Who isn't?"

"The non-traditionals."

"Who are they?"

"Seekers who are not traditional. My trine is traditional. _I'm_ traditional."

"Meaning?"

"Traditionals hold on to true Seeker culture. The way things always have been done. The _proper_ way of being a Seeker. Non-traditionals do not hold to the old ways."

"How so?"

"They don't use physical punishments, they let the submissives get all over the trineleader, sometimes there are more than one dominant Seeker in the trine, they don't have more than five sparklings, they are more likely to have outside mates, they are very open and interface outside the trine, they just… Are different."

"Bad different?"

"They do not hold to how Seekers should be, so, yes."

"Who told you they were bad?"

"My sire."

"Who is traditional, right?"

I flicked my wings. "You don't understand. You're not a Seeker."

"I understand just fine."

"Maybe you need to get a beating and learn to shut your whore mouth." I snapped, engine growling.

"Did I hit something sensitive? Are you starting to actually think of what a slagheap your trineleader is?"

My wings flared, engine growling louder, and optics glowing as I narrowed them. "Watch how you speak to a Seeker. I can still tear you apart despite this sparkling in me." I growled dangerously.

"You're pissed because you're starting to realize I'm right and you have no counter argument for my points." He smugly smirked.

I hated him.

I got up and stomped over to him, climbed onto his lap, and got my faceplates in his. I showed every sign of aggression I could, so pissed at him. But the slagger just kept his smile.

"So, you're just going to throw a hissy fit?"

I did a lot more than just that. Despite being very much carrying, I was still a Seeker and therefore a warrior before all else. And the shuttle was going to die this orbital cycle.

He didn't see it coming. Too slow and fat. But he felt it. I punched him in the faceplates as hard as I could. While he was still in shock from that I bit him on the olfactory sensor and brought him down. He was screaming like a little femmling as I clawed, bit, and struck him like a rabid cybercat. He grabbed me and desperately tried to get me off, but I just latched on and tore at him.

As we rolled around I managed to grab a lamp and smash it across his helm, then some datapads, and anything else I got my servos on. He finally got a solid grip on me, flung me off him, and quickly got up, taking advantage that I was like those organic alien creatures with the shells on their backs that are unable to flip back over when they fall on their back. I did manage to get up fast enough that I grabbed him while he was still finishing up standing. He got a hold of my shoulders and slammed my back into the berth, pinning me down. I kept wrestling, the need, desire, lust for energon burning inside of me. I smelled his energon as it leaked from his torn lip plate and olfactory sensor. I needed more.

Maybe there is something in Seekers that makes us so… volatile. Maybe we really do have a violence problem. Maybe it's just me. I don't know. But, something came over me. Something primal… Something… Very violent and bad. And I hate myself for what happened next.

Without thinking, I instinctively unsubspaced an energon knife and stabbed it into Skyfire's abdomen, then twisted it.

"AHHH!" He leaped back, releasing me as he clutched his wound. His optics were wide, looking from the gash gushing out energon, then to me. "Y-you just-"

I snapped out of whatever trance I had been in. My optics were wide and I dropped the knife. I began to tremble, wings low and all aggression gone.

"I-I-" I stuttered, then swallowed. "I'm so sorry, Skyfire."

"YOU STABBED ME!" He screamed.

"It's not bad!" I blurted out, going over. "Just need a weld, a healing patch, a-and some rest."

"I need a _doctor_!"

"I-I can fix this!"

"No, you've done enough." He snapped.

I stepped back. "Let me take you to the doctor then."

"How about, if you come you pay the bill?" He narrowed his optics.

I nodded. "I will! It's all on me."

"Fine…" He stormed out of the dorm, a servo clutching his wound. "Why the hell you even have that knife on you?!"

"I have all my weapons on me at all times." I explained as I followed.

"But of course." He rolled his optics.

* * *

"I'm not sure to applaud you or beat you senseless." Thundercracker grumble later that night after I told him why I spent so much of his Shanix on emergency care. "I love the fact you attacked that shuttle. I just am pissed that you almost got yourself thrown in jail and paid for his medical bills."

I swallowed, sitting on the couch as I listened to his lecture. He sat on the seat across from me, that cable resting on his lap as he had a thruster heel on a knee. Zephyr had been sent to recharge, and Skywarp went to his room when Thundercracker ordered him to. I knew I was going to get a beating, and despite how scared I was, despite how much I hated the pain, I for once actually felt like I would deserve this beating. I hurt my best friend, after all. And he probably was wishing I would get beaten.

"What are you thinking? Think you need to be punished?" He asked me so calmly.

I bit my lower lip plate, not looking at him as I slowly nodded. He raised an optical ridge.

"You do? This is a first. Why do you think you need to be punished?"

I swallowed. "I hurt my friend… All because I got mad at him." I said barely louder than a whisper.

"You're not upset about spending my Shanix on him?"

"I'm upset that the need ever arose."

"Hmm." He tapped the arm of his seat in rhythm as he thought. "How many do you think I should give you? Since you believe you should be punished, maybe you know a proper number of lashes."

I slowly looked up at him. "I-I don't think I'm one to judge that number… Y-you know what's best for me, sir. You know what I need. I belong to you and therefore you know how I should be handled."

He smirked. "True. You are mine. And I do know what's best for you." He paused. "Do you ever doubt I know what's best for you?"

I shook my helm. "Never, sir. Y-you're trineleader for a reason. And I'm glad you're my trineleader."

"Why?"

"Because… You are strong, brave, you work hard, care for us, and… punish us as needed to ensure we do better. And you gave me Zephyr."

"You ever think I don't do any of those things?"

"Never, sir."

"You ever think that I'm a bad trineleader."

"Negative, sir."

"Do you think I enjoy hurting you?"

I started to leak coolant, suddenly unable to talk. I shook my helm instead.

He perked his wings, then stood up, holding the cable. He approached, lifted my chin, and kissed me on the lip plates slowly, lovingly. And when he talked it was soft and caring.

"Starscream, I know it hurts you, I know you hate it… But it has to be done for your own good. I don't enjoy it. I want you and Skywarp to be happy all the time. But sometimes… I have to do what I must to take care of you. Understand?"

I nodded, coolant still leaking out of my optics.

He kissed me again. "I love you, Starscream. More than anything. And I do this out of love. Not hate, not anger, and not because I 'enjoy' it. I hate hurting my trinemates. You two are everything to me. Our sparklings will grow up and leave us, but I'll always have you two in my life. Till the bitter end." He kissed me again, so lovingly. "I love you, Starscream."

"I-I love you too, Th-Thundercracker." I choked out as I started to sob.

He kissed me again then released me. "Lie over the arm of the couch and don't move."

I got up and did so, starting to cry harder. I knew he was doing this because it had to be done. There was no other choice. He loved me and it was because of this love that he punished me. Still… It hurt so much.

I cried and screamed as the lashes struck my aft, not feeling very loved at all.

* * *

A decacycle passed. Skyfire and I made it up to each other. I had offered for him to give me an aft beating, but of course he declined vehemently. Instead, he made me buy him sweet energon and give him an apology hug. Why is he so perfect?! Other than that, nothing else happened during that decacycle.

"Is she trying to get you?" I smiled as I sat on the couch.

Zephyr giggled, lying across my abdominal plates as she felt her sister kicking inside of me. "She's really kicking!"

"Yeah, I feel it. Feisty like me, isn't she? Probably can't wait to see her big sis."

Zephyr adjusted herself so she could rest her cheekplates on my abdominal plates, smiling as she felt her sister. "She's silly."

"Yeah, she is. A silly helm like you are."

"I'm not silly."

"Mhmm."

"I think your brother wants out more." Skywarp grunted. "Bastard won't settle down."

Zephyr turned around and lied over Skywarp's abdomen, giggling as she felt her brother. "He wants to play!"

"He does."

I slowly stood up, having difficulty. I started to walk to the stairs, wanting to ask Thundercracker something, when that familiar pain returned to me. I just stopped, optics widening.

"You alright?" Skywarp asked.

"I want Thundercracker." I said quickly.

"Go get your sire, Zephyr." Skywarp ordered her.

She got up and ran upstairs, faster than us two fatties. "Sire! Carrier needs you!" She shouted.

Thundercracker rushed out, knowing something was wrong if I had to use my daughter to get him. He was beside me in an astrosecond, making me look at him.

"What's wrong?" He demanded.

"Take me to the hospital. Please." I swallowed, feeling like I wanted to cry from the pain swelling inside of me. "I-I think I'm in labor."

He picked me up bridal style. "I'll get you there. Skywarp I'm going to rush over so meet up with us there."

"No fair… He's first in everything." He pouted with crossed arms.

"Just be there." Thundercracker snapped as he started for the door.

I clung to him, this time hurting more than with Zephyr.

* * *

I lied on a medberth, my trinemates, daughter, and a nurse around me. I had been in labor for a joor now and nothing was happening. Damn these sparklings!

"I'm sorry, close family only." I heard the nurse say.

"He called me and asked for me to be next to him." Skyfire's vocalizer sounded.

I perked my wings and looked over. "Let him in! I-I want him here."

The nurse let him in and Skyfire quickly came over to me, ignoring Thundercracker's flared wings. "Hey, Star. I got here as quickly as I could."

I faintly smiled, reaching my servo out to him. "Don't worry. She's being stubborn and trying to stay in there."

He took my servo as he sat on a chair beside me. "Does it hurt?"

"They have me so drugged up, Skyfire… I feel some pain from cramps, but it's not that bad. I'm just glad you're here."

He smiled. "I'm just scared I'm going to freak out when it starts happening."

I chuckled. "You won't. It's not that bad."

My wings fluttered when Thundercracker kissed me on the lip plates. Jealous afthelm.

It took another joor before my sparkling did decide to stop being a coward and face the world. I did not have a fun time at all… Skyfire did freak out some, but didn't flee. Zephyr stayed back, and was absolutely fascinated.

"And, push."

"Arrrgh!" I growled, giving the final push and feeling her come out of me.

"And she's out." The doctor announced as he held her up.

I shoved trinemates aside to sit up and reach out for her, my wings held high. "My sparkling." I demanded.

"Let's clean her off first."

"It's fine. Mine."

The doctor eyed me, but handled her over. I took her, still wet and coughing up some gestation fluids. Thundercracker exchanged a confused glance with Skywarp, not sure why I didn't wait for her to be cleaned first. I held her close, just needing her. I think having Zephyr made my maternal program stronger, because I just wanted my daughter and no one else to touch her.

The nurse handed Thundercracker a towel, and he began to clean off my daughter and myself. She cried softly, her little limbs reaching out to grab on to something. I kissed her brow, my engine purring as I held her against my chestplates.

Zephyr climbed onto the medberth, her wings perking. "Wow." She gasped. "She's so tiny."

I faintly smiled. "She's going to grow up fast."

"What's her designation?" The nurse asked, prepared to write it into her file.

"Dawn." I replied softly.

Thundercracker kissed me. "She's beautiful, Starscream."

I fluttered my wings as I folded away my chest plates and allowed Dawn to suckle. "Yeah… She is."

Skyfire stroked my wing. "Congrats, Star." He smiled. "She's so lucky to have you as her carrier."

"Thanks, Sky." I smiled sheepishly. I watched my newest creation, stroking her tiny backplates as she nursed.

I fell in love a thousand times over. She was mine. My precious, little princess.

* * *

It was only two orbital cycle later that Skywarp gave birth to his son, Storm. Skywarp went into labor in the middle of the night, and he had to have a C-section because Storm started to come out the wrong way. Crisis was quickly averted and we brought home a little mechling that already looked like his sire.

Thundercracker was oozing pride and joy as he held both his newest creations. He suffered, though. Skywarp and I recharged with him still, our creations between us and their sire. We were being onlined constantly in order to refuel our sparklings, and Thundercracker died from it. He turned off his audio receptors, but sometimes he was nudged, or the sparklings hit him as they struggled, or he just felt the berth moving. He no longer got mad. Just tried to go back to recharge.

Dawn's optics were yellow, from her sire's side, and Storm had red optics. Zephyr did her best to help, always trying to carry her siblings, checking on them, and doing everything she could to assist us. It was easier this time not only having her around to help, but also I could have Skywarp nurse Dawn if I dried up and vice versa. Us carriers had a system down and it made things so much easier.

But, despite all this… I was not feeling well at all. I felt… Hollow inside. As each orbital passed I just felt worse. I was having a harder time getting out of berth in the morning, I was feeling tired and just drained all the time, I no longer wanted to do school or anything, and it was so hard to get myself to care for my daughters. The worst part…. I was beginning to wish that my daughters were never born and wanting them to just die and… be out of my life.

I wasn't sure what was going on with me, but it scared me. I needed to stop these thoughts. I needed to get better.

Things didn't get better when Thundercracker returned to fragging us. I was so tired and drained, but he ignored that to have his way with me. And I only earned myself more aft beatings for not wanting it.

It was a decacycle after I had given birth that I started to do things I would regret.

"Hey." I purred with a mischievous smile, my faceplates in Skyfire's.

"What?" He raised an optical ridge, knowing I was up to something.

"Wanna go to a party tomorrow night?"

"Frag no. We need to study. And every time you take me to a party I feel my IQ dropping."

"Skies, it's just a party. You're supposed to relax, let loose, let servos grope you."

"No, Starscream." He said firmly. "I'm not going and don't you dare go on your own. And… Slaggit… Get the hell off my desk."

I stood up from my perch and climbed onto his lap instead. He was getting so frustrated.

"Why are you a grumpy plates?"

"There's a Seeker who walks all over my stuff like a cybercat. The only good thing is you're not shoving your aft in my faceplates…."

"Please, I know you would much prefer that." I smirked.

He slagging blushed and I heard his cooling fans kicking on. He suddenly pushed me off his lap and crossed his legs. "Can I _please_ do school?!"

I got off the floor. "Ouch… Only if you go to a party with me!" I fluttered my wings.

"Get the hell out of my room."

I smirked. "Make me, tough guy."

"Star, don't."

"I'm just playing with you."

"You get… _Very_ sexual when you 'play' and it's not appropriate."

"Define 'appropriate.'"

"Star, stop it."

I chuckled. "Are you seriously upset with my jokes? Skyfire, I don't actually mean it."

"Star, only be sexual to your partner, not your friend."

"So… Will you get pissed if I self service?"

"Out!"

"Fine, don't take a joke." I hugged him anyway. "I'll see you later."

"Mhmm. Don't go to that party!"

I rolled my optics as I walked away. "I won't, I won't."

But I lied.

* * *

I went to that party. I partied, I drank engex, and I stayed late. And I did a very bad thing.

The party was pretty dead, most people had left and all who were left were the couples fragging in the living room and berthrooms, those who had passed out, and the ones who had nothing better to do.

I found myself in the living room, trying to sober up before heading home. My wings perked as I noticed those around me messing with some liquid. Some were mixing it into energon, some taking it straight, and some were mixing it with a power then using syringes to insert it directly into the primary fuel line of their arm. My wings perked, curious.

"What are you doing?" I inquired.

One of them looked at me. "Circuit boosters. Want some?"

"Isn't that… harmful?"

"Only if you overdose!" Another replied.

The first one gestured me over, and like an idiot I approached. I sat beside him, and he took one of the circuit boosters, mixed it with some energon, and handed it to me.

I drank it. It had a little tang to it, but it… Felt good after a few sips. And before I knew it I was feeling so loose, free, calm… happy.

"Like?"

I smiled as I nodded. "Where can I get more?"

* * *

"AHHHH!" I screamed, clutching the berth desperately.

Thundercracker just kept lashing my aft with the cable hard and fast. I had come home very late, and now I was getting it.

He lashed me until my aft was so dented it started to leak. Then lashed some more. I was a bawling mess by the time he was done. He tossed aside the cable, flipped me over onto my back, and grabbed my neck.

"How many times do I have to repeat myself?" He growled. "You do _not_ stay out past 22:00. Understand?"

I nodded, gripping his wrist.

He flicked his wings. "Next time, you'll get a flogging." He let me go and walked to the door. "Shut up and go to recharge."

I swallowed after he left, pitifully crying as I rubbed over my sore aft. I just cried, working on calming myself down. It was a bit before I just burnt everything out of me.

As I lied there, exhausted and sore, I just had one thought plaguing my processor: Where to get more circuit boosters?

* * *

Things just got worse. I was told where to obtain circuit boosters by someone at another party, and that's where I went after class one orbital cycle. I of course didn't want to use Thundercracker's Shanix, so I used my savings from my allowance. I got the circuit boosters and I hid in an abandoned building to use them.

I loved it. It felt amazing. I just hid out in that building. I at first tried to do homework, but… As time went on I kept using more circuit boosters. I started to take them straight, then, I acquired other types of circuit boosters. I used a syringe to insert them directly into my fuel line. I was careful, though. I sterilized things. But… I wanted more. And as I took more, I took them more often. And…. I ended up making a terrible mistake.

I had been doing circuit boosters for three decacycles at this point. I was sitting in my room with Dawn on my lap, working on homework. I was feeling down… Thundercracker was at work and Skywarp was in the living room playing with Storm and Zephyr.

No one would know.

I figured a little bit wouldn't hurt. I prepared a circuit booster and used a syringe to insert it into my fuel line. I did this with my daughter on my lap….

I felt better then, able to work without feeling like I wanted to die. And I did work for a bit longer until I felt maybe some more would help. So I injected more. Then, I felt maybe a little bit more would be fine. Oh, and then… I gave myself more.

I don't recall what happened next. This is what Skywarp told me what happened.

Skywarp was on the couch playing with Zephyr and Storm. Storm giggled as he smacked his toy against the ground, squealing so happily. Zephyr was trying to show him how to make a tower using his blocks.

"Storm, don't beat up the kitty." Skywarp smiled, the poor stuffed toy suffering so. He perked his wings when he heard thruster heels clopping behind him. He looked back, seeing me walking by, Dawn in my arms. "Hey, Scree! Whatcha doing?"

I kept walking, not even looking back or making a sound.

Skywarp raised an optical ridge. "Star? You alright?"

I opened the door to the balcony and stepped out. Skywarp got up and walk over, stopping in the doorway. "You going to Skyfire or something?"

I continued in my trance, not noticing the world around me. I held up Dawn, stretching my arms out. I held her over the edge, the ground so far below.

"Star?" Skywarp was getting worried, knowing something was not right at all. "You shouldn't be holding her out like that…"

I still didn't react. I released her.

"SLAG!" Skywarp bolted, shoving me aside before he leaped off the balcony and dove. He teleported, catching Dawn as she fell. She screamed, flaring her arms until he caught her, then she clung to him, still screaming. He activated his thrusters, stopping their descent. "WHAT THE FRAGGING HELL?!" He teleported onto the balcony and ran inside, locking the door. "Starscream, why did you-?" He stopped. "Star…?"

I was sitting on the floor now, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth, my optics blank, just staring into space. Zephyr was beside me, optics wide, absolutely horrified.

"Take Dawn." Skywarp handed her to Zephyr. "Go watch Storm."

Zephyr carried Dawn over to Storm and sat down, making sure the sparklings stayed with her.

Skywarp grabbed my face, trying to get me to look at him. "Starscream? What's wrong? What's happening?" He asked anxiously.

Nothing. I just blankly stared, not making a sound, not interacting.

Skywarp activated his commlink. "Thundercracker, th-there's an emergency. I-I-I don't know what's going on!" He started to cry, trembling with fear.

::Calm down. Tell me what's going on.:: Thundercracker instructed calmly.

"I-it's Starscream. He's not right. He's not talking o-or acting normal. H-he threw Dawn off the balcony! I-I had to go save her!"

::What? I'm on my way.::

"Please hurry! I'm scared, Thunder."

::I'll be there shortly. Watch the sparklings.::

Skywarp just kept shaking my shoulders. "Scree? Please, come out of it!" He begged.

I didn't.

Thundercracker was home in less than a breem. He ran over, grabbing my face, trying to get me to look at him but I didn't.

"Stay with the sparklings. I'm taking him to the ER." He said quickly, picking me up bridal style.

"W-what's wrong with him?" Skywarp cried, trembling so hard.

"I don't know." Thundercracker left on that note.

Skywarp went over and hugged the sparklings, terrified of what was happening.

Thundercracker got me to the hospital and nurses were all over me immediately. They forced Thundercracker to sit in the waiting room for a few breems before the doctor came to him.

"How is he?" Thundercracker asked as he stood up, wings perked.

"He's stable. Do you know what happened?" The doctor asked.

Thundercracker shook his helm. "Negative. My third trinemate called me while I was at work and said that Starscream was acting unusual and that he… Almost harmed one of the sparklings. I rushed over and found him in that trance-like state."

"We tested his energon and he has circuit boosters in his system. A lot."

Thundercracker's optics widened. "I-I'm sorry, what?"

"Circuit boosters. Laced with syk. Very little so it's possible there was a contamination or he meant to use only a small amount. But the circuit booster themselves are exceptionally high."

"I… How did he even get a hold of circuit boosters?" He flicked his wings. "May I see him?"

"You may, but he's offline."

"When can I take him home?"

"When we are done flushing the contaminated energon out of him and refill him with clean energon."

"How long is the process?"

"With how bad he is, it'll be a few joors."

Thundercracker thought for a bit, his servos balled into fists at his sides. "I'll be back later to check on him then. I trust you to care for him until my return."

"That's our job."

Thundercracker turned and stomped out, but not before punching the wall, leaving a hole.

* * *

I shall tell this part of the story from what Skyfire told me.

Skyfire sat at his desk listening to music as he did his homework. He was smiling, enjoying himself, so relaxed and peaceful… Then there was a knock on his door.

He turned off his music, got up, daintily skipped to the door like a leaf on the wind (no, he lumbered over like the fatso he is causing earthquakes), and opened it.

"ACK!" He exclaimed, falling back from the unexpected punch to the faceplates.

Thundercracker was on top of him instantly, wings flaring, engine growling, optics narrowed and glowing. His ebony servos around Skyfire's neck, squeezing.

Thundercracker told me Skyfire screamed like a femmling despite how much he denies doing so. Knowing him, he _totally_ did so I'm putting it in. He screamed like a little femmling, his optics wide.

"W-what are you-?" He stuttered frantically.

"YOU GAVE HIM CIRCUIT BOOSTERS, DIDN'T YOU?!" Thundercracker roared, all the fury and murderous hate emanating from his aggressive body.

"Gave who what?!"

"Don't you play stupid with me, shuttle." Thundercracker unsubspaced a knife and held it to Skyfire's neck.

"I-I'm not playing anything!"

"Starscream! You gave him circuit boosters!"

"What? NO! I-I would never touch those things let alone give them to my best frien-ACK!" He thought he was going to die as Thundercracker pushed the length of the blade into his mouth, almost cutting the corners of his mouth.

"Shut up." He flicked his wings. "Starscream got his servos on circuit boosters, used them, and now is in the emergency room."

"Wuuh?!" Skyfire tried talking, unable to move his mouth in fear of his jaw being cut open.

"Where the frag did Starscream get circuit boosters?"

"Mmmmwww uhhmnn hhhuuuaaarrr…?"

Thundercracker removed the knife. "Speak, shuttle." He snapped, his denta gritted.

Skyfire swallowed. "H-he didn't get any from me. I-I abhor those things! H-he must have met someone on campus or somewhere and they gave them to him o-or told him where he could get some."

"How do I know you're not lying? Maybe you gave him them?"

"Do I look like I would use circuit boosters?"

He flicked his wings. "Where else does Starscream go?"

"I don't know. He's mated to you."

Thundercracker thought a moment before pressing the tip of the knife to Skyfire's cheekplate. "Maybe you do know and I just need to carve off your fat face to find out."

Skyfire was beyond terrified. "Thundercracker, you harm me and the police will be all over you. Do you want to lose custody of your creations?"

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Where else does Starscream go?" He demanded again.

Skyfire swallowed. "H-he went to a party some time ago. I didn't go. It was just a get together. Maybe he met somewhere there. But that's all I know, I swear."

Thundercracker studied him a moment before standing up, his peds still resting on top of Skyfire's chestplates. "If anything happens to him, you'll be the first to die."

With that said, he turned and walked out.

Skyfire watched him go, then fainted.

* * *

I onlined in medbay, Thundercracker sitting in the chair beside me holding my servo. I looked around completely confused.

"What happened?" I asked groggily.

His wings perked as he turned to me. He kissed me on the cheekplates, arms wrapped around my helm as he kept kissing me all over, taking a bit before speaking.

"You were on circuit boosters." He replied flatly.

I felt my spark drop, my optics widening. I just stared at him in horror, knowing that death awaited me.

His expression didn't change as he spoke calmly. "I don't know where you got them or what gave you the stupid idea of taking them, but, when we get home…" He just looked at me, his optics filled with only death.

I was dead. I started to tremble, coolant filling my optics. "I-I didn't mean to-"

"Shut. Up." He snapped quietly, not wanting the hospital staff to hear. "You've humiliated me enough, almost killed your own daughter, and almost killed yourself. You will remain silent, you will be punished, and if I ever learn of you using circuit boosters again…" He was shaking with rage. "Primus have mercy on your spark." He growled.

I prayed that I wouldn't leave this hospital ever. But, they did release me, and I cried on our way home, knowing I would die. Thundercracker didn't even let me greet my daughters or Skywarp. He dragged me straight to his room, pushed me onto his berth, than tired me to it, stretching me out.

I screamed so hard from the beating my vocalizer broke. I was beaten so hard, so brutally by the cable and energon whip that after a joor, yes, an entire joor, I passed out.

I was leaking so much from the beating Skywarp had to care for me while I was offline. He said that my entire backside was just coated in energon, tears, and dents, and that it took him over a joor to stop all the leaking.

I was left in my room, my daughters not allowed with me. I didn't online for nearly an entire orbital cycle, and when I did I only felt the excruciating pain of hell coming from every plate, piston, and bolt in my body. I felt dead.

It hurt to move, it hurt to cycle, it hurt to live. I couldn't even talk from my broken vocalizer. I just lied in my berth, weak, in pain, and crying.

Thundercracker entered my room when he got home later that orbital cycle. He locked the door, then got on the berth. I was trembling, positive he would continue the beating. He got over me, kissed me on the cheekplates, then grabbed my codpiece. I removed it, not in the mood, but I was in to much pain to protest. I offlined my optics, feeling him enter me and all the pain of my sore frame. Coolant leaked out of my optics as I softly moaned and whimpered from his harsh thrusts.

I didn't move, didn't speak, didn't do anything but lie there and let him use me. He kept going, panting over me, nipping my nape, and enjoying himself. He eventually overloaded in me, and all I could do was whimper and moan.

He kissed my cheekplates, his engine purring. "I love you, Starscream." He said softly. "You're everything to me. You know that, right?"

I slowly nodded.

"Your punishment was so severe because I care for you. Circuit boosters must be avoided, Starscream. You almost killed Dawn. Now, you know better than to use those awful things."

"Yes, sir." I managed to barely say, my vocalizer still repairing itself.

"I love you, Starscream." He kissed me again. "I wish I didn't have to hurt you." He was silent a bit before speaking. "I'm going to go get some pain dampeners for you and a treat. Don't leave your room. Understand?"

I nodded.

He kissed my cheekplates before pulling out. He got off the berth, cupped my faceplates, and kissed me firmly on the lip plates. I didn't kiss back, too weak and in too much pain to do anything.

He left and locked the door behind him. I just lied there, starting to cry again. I eventually was able to sit up, hissing from the pain. I knew he loved me but… This punishment… How he looked at me… I thought I was going to die. I was so scared.

I unsubspaced the card that Miss Crimson had given me, studying it. What if… What if I did need to leave?

I vented a sigh and subspaced it again. No, he was my trineleader and knew what was best for me. I had almost killed my own daughter. I needed to be punished as severely as he had.

Why did I even take the circuit boosters? Right, because they made me for once in my miserable life feel happy. Feel relaxed. Feel like… I was an actual person.

I needed to avoid the drugs. I had to get better for myself and my sparklings. I vowed to myself that I would never touch them again!

If only it were that easy.

* * *

I healed from my punishment and was allowed around my creations again. When I returned to my classes Skyfire was freaking out over me. I lied and told him I was just gone for so long recovering from the circuit boosters. I never mentioned my punishment. But he certainly made sure I knew about how Thundercracker interrogated him. I couldn't help but love my trineleader even more.

Things went back to normal for a time, for about another two decacycles, until I screwed up again. I had asked him to stop fragging so hard. It was hurting me. He got mad that I was "ruining" his interface so he gave me an aft beating with the metal cable. I just screamed, cried, and bawled throughout it. Once he finished punishing me he resumed fragging me, satisfied himself, then left me to cry in my room.

My daughters recharged in berth with me that night. Zephyr was angry that he had punished me, but… She would learn that I required it. Dawn just nursed and fell into recharge, not interested in anything.

As I lied there, my little femmlings curled into my chassis recharging, I just felt… Lost, unwanted, and just hating myself. I had these awful thoughts and they were scaring me. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to feel like… I didn't want to die.

I carefully kissed my daughters' on their brows, got out of berth, and snuck out of the apartment. I flew off in the middle of the night, just needing something to help me.

I don't really remember anything more from that night. Just small snippets of it before things went black. So, I'll go ahead and tell the story as my trinemates told me what happened.

Skywarp onlined the next morning, nursed Storm, then got up to get energon. After he refueled himself he made a cube for me and went to my room, Storm being held against his chestplates.

"Hey, Scree, I got you-" He stopped, seeing only my daughters on the berth. His wings perked as he looked around. "Starscream?" He set down the cube on my desk and onlined Zephyr.

"Hmm?" She looked up at him sleepily.

"Hey, princess. Where's your carrier?"

"What you mean?" She looked at the berth, wings perking. "He was recharging with us."

"Maybe he went out? Let me call him." He activated his commlink but only got static from me. His optics widened, knowing something was wrong. "Thundercracker, it's me." He said quickly as he called our trineleader.

::What's wrong?::

"Starscream is missing and I'm getting nothing from his commlink."

::Let me try him.:: There was a pause as he did, but he got nothing as well. ::Do you have the number for that shuttle?::

"Um, let me see…" Skywarp set Storm on the berth then went digging around my desk until he found my communicator. He went through it, locating Skyfire's number and called it.

::Hey, Starscream!:: Skyfire cheerfully greeted.

"It's Skywarp, Skyfire. Have you've seen or heard from Starscream in the last ten joors?"

::Um, no, why?:: He paused. ::What's wrong?::

Skywarp swallowed. "Starscream's missing. He's not in the apartment and his commlink is off."

::Where could he be?::

"I don't know. Just…. Call me if you hear anything. I'll keep his communicator on me."

::Alright. I'll start asking around on campus and see if anyone knows anything.::

"Thanks." He hung up and called Thundercracker. "Negative. He knows nothing but said he'll aid in the search."

::Damn it… Take the sparklings to the retired couple upstairs. We'll take them up on the sparkling-sitting offer. I'll take the southern quadrant of the city first. You the northern. I'll call his carrier and see if she may be aware of anything.::

"Yes, sir." Skywarp turned to the sparklings and picked up Dawn and Storm. "Zephyr, grab a game. You're going to be with a sitter for a little bit."

"What's going on?" She asked worriedly.

"Your carrier just… Got lost. We'll find him." He said more to himself than her.

* * *

After Skywarp dropped the sparklings off he flew off in search of me. Thundercracker had called carrier but she of course knew nothing. My trinemates and Skyfire searched everywhere for me, staying in constant communication of each other.

They didn't find me.

In fact, it took them on the fifth orbital cycle of searching before something happened.

Skywarp landed outside an abandoned building, tired from searching non-stop for orbital cycles. He went in, looking around, feeling like he wouldn't find anything.

"Starscream!" He called out, but doubted anyone was there to listen.

He went up several stories before he saw an imprint of what appeared to be a Seeker ped in the dust. His wings perked, looking around harder, calling out for me.

He pushed open a broken door, wings perking, then saw a familiar wing. He ran over, finding me lying on a couch offline.

"Star! Starscream!" He shook me, frantic, excited, worried, and happy all at once. "Online! Primus…" He activated his commlink. "I found him! I FOUND HIM! H-he's offline. I'm taking him to the hospital."

::Coming.:: Thundercracker replied.

::Thank, Primus.:: Skyfire vented.

Skywarp picked me up bridal style and teleported. He ran into the hospital and I was soon in emergency care.

Thundercracker and Skyfire soon arrived, all in the waiting room as I was cared for. Skywarp sat on Thundercracker's lap as Skyfire sat across from them.

"What do you think happened?" Skywarp asked softly as he curled into Thundercracker's chassis.

"I don't know, love…" He vented. "Everything was normal and he just left."

"No one abducted him, right?"

"I don't know. He left the apartment. There's no signs of anyone coming in. He left for some reason and… I don't know."

"I hate it when you don't know. You're the trineleader. You know everything."

"I know… I hate this too." He kissed Skywarp on the lip plates. "We'll figure this out."

Skyfire just remained quiet, watching how they interacted with each other. He kept thinking that my trineleader was being so manipulative in acting like he was so kind and caring. Well, Thunder _is_ kind and caring, so there!

The doctor walked in and my trinemates stood to greet him.

"Well? What's wrong? How is he?" Thundercracker inquired quickly.

"You found him in the nick of time." The doctor said. "He appears to have had a Syk overdose."

Skywarp gasped, his servos covering his mouth as his optics widened. Skyfire's jaw dropped. Thundercracker's optics widened but his visage was an enigma otherwise.

"I'm sorry, but did you say 'Syk?'" My trineleader repeated.

"Yes. He was very close to deactivating. His spark was barely pulsating."

"How soon to a full recovery?"

"It will be some time. He'll be under critical care for maybe an orn or more. And after that he may have to stay for another decacycle. The Syk wasn't the only drug in his system. He had remnants of fourteen circuit boosters."

Thundercracker's wings flicked. "May we see him?"

"Not yet. We're still stabilizing him. But you should be able to see him soon."

"Inform us when we may see him."

"I will." He left, obviously not wanting to stay around Seekers if he could help it. Especially one as large and intimidating as Thundercracker.

Thundercracker flicked his wings again once the doctor left. He turned to Skywarp, optics narrowed. "How the hell did he get Syk?"

"Like I would know that." Skywarp grunted. "I just take care of sparklings and clean the apartment."

Thunder turned to Skyfire. "Anything you're not telling us, shuttle?"

"I have a designation." Skyfire replied firmly. "And no. I have no idea where he got Syk or any kind of illegal substance. If you haven't noticed, I'm not the type to be into such things."

"Neither is Starscream. So I thought."

"Think someone forced him?" Skywarp perked his wings. "Like, back in Vos when several Seekers were forced to take Syk in order to be gangbanged? Remember that?"

"It's possible. We'll have to check him for sexual assault then." He rubbed over his faceplates as he vented a sigh. "Skywarp, you probably should go back and take care of the sparklings. I don't want to impose on Gunsmoke and Silverline. They've done so much for us already."

"They like watching the sparklings, TC. They don't mind. They couldn't have their own so they eat up the chance to be around our Seekerlets."

"Still. Just go check on them. I'll let you know if it'll be alright to bring them over to see Starscream."

"Yes, sir." Skywarp turned to Skyfire. "You staying or want me to warp you to your place?"

"I'm staying." Skyfire answered.

"Okay." Skywarp hugged and kissed Thundercracker before teleporting away.

Thundercracker sat on a chair, rubbing over his faceplates tiredly.

"Doing alright?" Skyfire asked gently as he sat down again.

Thundercracker looked up at him, his wings hiking. "Simply concerned about my mate."

"You don't need to act all tough around me. I'm not going to attack you."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You're hiding things. I can tell. You're very upset by this. You can be upset. It's normal and natural. Hiding it is only going to make you feel worse."

Thundercracker just gave him a look. "I'm a trineleader. Emotions are for submissives."

"Emotions are for everyone. Without them we would be mindless drones."

"A single shuttle who's never had to care for, provide for, or protect anyone is not one I would ever consider taking advice from regarding my emotions towards my submissives."

"Starscream's my best friend. I care for him more than you realize."

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Touch him and I'll tear off your limbs, shuttle."

"It's platonic. I have no attraction to him. Even if I did he friendzones me."

"Interface with my trinemates and I will kill you." Thundercracker said firmly, seriously.

"I believe it." Skyfire grunted.

"Rape or hurt him in anyway and you'll regret it." He flicked his wings.

"You seem to get off by doing that yourself."

Thundercracker leaped out of his chair, tackled Skyfire, knocking him back and out of his seat. Thundercracker proceeded to strangle Skyfire, trying to tear out his neck cables, but Skyfire grabbed his wrists and prevented him from.

"Ah! Help! Psychotic Seeker in the waiting room! Get animal control!" Skyfire shouted.

"You miserable-!"

"He's rabid!"

"Shut up and fight like a mech!"

"You're wrestling with a shuttle. You do realize I'm stronger than you, right?"

"I'm built and trained for combat."

"I can scream for help."

"Coward."

"I also was taught by my carrier to always be prepared in case I was ever attacked." He then unsubspaced attack spray, held it to Thundercracker's faceplates, turned his own face away, and sprayed it.

Thundercracker yelped as the stinging spray hit his optics and burned his intakes. He leaped back, growling and flicking his wings as he clawed at his face and optics, blinded.

Skyfire calmly stood up, subspaced the canister, and watched in amusement as Thundercracker tripped over a chair, then proceeded to roll around like some pained beast. He kept growling, clawing at his face, and cursing the shuttle.

"Arrrghh! Damn you! Nrrrgh! Son-of-a-whore1 You fragging coward! I'll tear your limbs off! Argh!"

"Might want to rinse some water on that." Skyfire smirked as he sat on a chair, enjoying the show.

Thundercracker kicked at the wall, growling and making bestial sounds of pain and anger as he suffered. It sounded truly horrific and monstrous. Skyfire, I love him, recorded it.

A nurse entered the room, concerned by all the sound. "Is he alright?" She asked worriedly.

"Hmm?" Skyfire looked back. "Oh, he's fine. We're jut playing as we wait."

"You sure?"

"Positive." He smiled as he went back to recording.

The nurse gave a concerned look, but probably because Thunder is a Seeker she wouldn't press it so left.

My trineleader suffered from the searing pain for an entire joor and required part of his optics being replaced. It also hurt for him to cycle air and even drink energon for two orbital cycles after being sprayed.

Skyfire, to this orbital cycle, still brings this incident up whenever he can.

* * *

It was a few joors after Thunder got sprayed that the doctors allowed him to see me. He told Skyfire not to come, but Skyfire threatened to spray him again. Thundercracker didn't push it and allowed him entry.

Thunder entered the room, his wings lowering for a moment before hiking them again. He approached me on the merberth and took my servo in his. I was offline, lying there, wires connecting me to machines, one of them beeping to my spark pulses.

Thundercracker cupped my faceplates with one servo, a thumb stroking my cheekplates. He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates, his engine purring, wanting to comfort me even if I didn't hear him.

"Hey, love." He said softly. "I'm not going to leave your side, understand? I'll protect you."

"He's safe here." Skyfire replied.

Thundercracker just flicked his wings before climbing onto the medberth and lying down alongside of me, covering as much of my frame with his and his wing as he could.

"You shouldn't do that. You could-"

"Shut up." Thundercracker flicked his wings, resetting his optics to try and get them to focus. They were still damaged from the spray and all he saw at this point was a blurry view of the world.

Skyfire pulled up a chair and sat beside my medberth, taking my other servo in his. He just stayed silent, watching me.

Thundercracker pressed his cheekplates against mine, optics dim as he guarded over me. "I love you." He whispered to me. "Till the bitter end."

* * *

My trinemates stayed with me, lying on the medberth, covering as much of my frame as they could to protect me. This was common for Seeker trines to do. The unwounded, or less wounded, Seekers will use their own frames to shield and protect their wounded trinemate. On the battlefield, at home, the hospital, wherever this would happen. Seekers couldn't trust anyone.

It was the third orbital cycle, I was still offline, but I was getting better. I just wasn't online. The Seekerlets were now spending most of their time with me. Zephyr drew and played her games, as well as trained, and the younger two just napped, refueled, demanded their waste tanks cleaned, and constructed the greatest of cities from their toy blocks. Truly spectacular metropolises were constructed within that hospital room. And all the citizens found themselves being smashed into the towers by the cruel creators.

Thundercracker sat on a chair, his front half lying over my abdominal plates, his arms crossed over me as they cradled his weary helm. His optics were offline as he rested. He had never left the hospital room since entering. Skywarp was the one who took Zephyr to school and went back and forth from the apartment to hospital when needed. Skyfire stayed as much as he could and helped care for the sparklings.

Skywarp entered the room with Zephyr, having picked her up from school. She ran over and climbed onto the medberth and hugged me. Skyfire looked up from where he sat with a datapad, working on homework.

"Got you something, carrier." Zephyr held up a craft she made that was of me and her together with the words, "Get well, carrier" scribbled on it. "See? It's us." She pointed.

Thundercracker lifted his helm, looking up at her. His wings gave a flick, moving them so they wouldn't get stiff. "Hey, sweetspark." He greeted softly, obviously exhausted. "How was school?"

"Fine." She grunted, not looking at him.

His wings lowered some before perking again. "Can I see what you made?"

"It's for carrier, not you." She said in the same tone.

Thundercracker vented a sigh as he rubbed over his faceplates. She had been growing distant from him, especially after I was hospitalized. She blamed him for it.

Skywarp kissed Thundercracker on the cheekplates. "I'll get us some energon. Need anything else?"

Thundercracker shook his helm. "Negative. Need Shanix?"

"I still have some from yesterday." He kissed him again. "Love you."

"Love you more."

Skywarp picked up Storm from the play mat he had been sitting on with his sister. "Okay, let's get some energon. Then, I'll refuel you and Dawn." He said before walking out.

Thundercracker watched him leave before turning to Zephyr. "Want to train?"

"Later."

He was silent a moment before trying again. "Can sire get a hug?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to hug you."

"Sweetie… You hurt sire's feelings when you talk to him like that."

"Good." She continued in the same uncaring vocalizer, still not looking at him.

Thundercracker drooped his wings, raising them only because Skyfire was still there. He rubbed over his faceplates, collecting himself again. "I love you."

No response.

"Do you love sire?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you ruin everything and hurt carrier."

"Princess, you know sometimes carrier needs to be punished. It's for his own good."

"Can you just leave me alone and frag off?" She snapped, finally looking at him to glare.

Thundercracker flared his wings and narrowed his optics. "Watch how you speak to me."

"Be pissed. I don't care." She flared her wings back.

Thundercracker flicked his wings, growled his engine, his optics brightly glowing as he showed every sign he could that he was about to attack. Being as intimidating as possible. Zephyr only flared her wings and growled her engine back. It sounded cute, not aggressive, but she tried. She even snarled when her sire showed his denta.

Thundercracker suddenly grabbed her nape and pinned her down to the medberth, holding her there as he stood. She struggled, but he was far stronger. Skyfire's optics widened, getting ready to run over and spray Thundercracker again in the face. Thundercracker bent over and growled in her audio receptors.

"That was idiotic of you." He snapped. "Have I taught you nothing about picking your fights and what enemies you can dispose of?"

"Go to hell!" She shouted, trying to kick him.

"If you're going to start something learn how to finish it."

"Ugh! Let me go!"

"Do you think that would work had I been a grounder?"

"Sire, please! You're hurting me!" She kept struggling, grabbing at me in hopes that I would online and save her.

"Thundercracker, stop." Skyfire stood up.

"Stay out of this, shuttle." He flicked his wings before turning back to Zephyr. "Until you can best me in combat I suggest you shut your mouth and learn to behave."

"And if I can best you in combat, slagheap?"

He smirked. "Then best me and go for the Alpha next." He then released her.

She leaped up, swung her fist, and punched him in the chestplates. Then, she swung her other fist around but he easily blocked it.

"Do better." He snapped.

She high kicked him, but he only grabbed her ped, tugged it, and made her fall off the medberth and onto the floor with a yelp.

"Better than that." He grunted.

"Argh!" She kept kicking and punching his leg, but he only watched her in disappointment.

"A zap mouse is deadlier than you. You're a pathetic Seeker."

"Pathetic?" She then stomped away and went to the toy box that was for the sparklings. She rummaged through it as Thundercracker watched, waiting for her next move.

"In actual combat your enemy wouldn't let you play with toys." He pointed out.

She grabbed a toy dart gun and an electric toy. She opened the electric toy, pulled out the batteries, some wires, and other parts, putting them together. She them connected her device to one of the darts and loaded it into the gun. She grabbed a chain from another toy then turned to face her sire.

"Carrier has been training me as well, sire." She walked to the medberth and climbed onto it, standing up.

"How to cry in the corner and be a brat?"

She pointed her dart gun at his faceplates. "No, how to make a weapon out of anything."

"Sweetie, that's a toy. It's not-Ouch!" He jumped back when she shot it and it electrocuted his face. "What the hell?!"

She took the chance and pounced on him, smashing the gun against his face before wrapping the chain around his neck, planting her peds against his shoulders as she got behind his helm, and used all her strength and body weight to pulled the chain ends, strangling him.

Thundercracker wheezed and made more… animalistic sounds as he grabbed at the chain, trying to free himself. Zephyr kept pulling, her denta gritted as she gave everything she had to choke him. Thundercracker fell to the floor, then lied on top of her, trying to get her to let go but she didn't. She kept pulling, and he kept trying to get the chain off his neck.

Skyfire was horrified, his optics wide as his jaw dropped.

Skywarp chose this time to enter the room. "Got the energon." He glanced at the two fighting, then continued on like it was nothing. In truth, this was common Seekerlet training. Everyone at one pointed strangled their sire or carrier when learning to fight. "You guys hungry?" He set the energon cubes down on a table.

"Yes!" Zephyr proclaimed.

"Hhhuuhhhh!" Thundercracker gasped. "Lhheev mhhhinnne Thheerhhhe! Wihhhl gehhht in momehhhhhnt!" He managed to wheeze out.

"Don't wrestle too much. Warriors need to refuel. Can't be killers on empty tanks." Skywarp commented as he sat with his own cube, placing the sparklings on his lap and allowing them to both nurse from him.

Zephyr and Thundercracker exchanged glances.

"Energon truce?" She suggested.

"We hhhhave an… accord." He managed to say.

Zephyr released him and he quickly sat up, removing the chain and intaking heavily. Zephyr leaped up and ran to get a cube.

"Gah… Primus, femme." Thundercracker rubbed his neck. "We don't need air to live so what you need to use is a thin wire so you can decapitate. Otherwise we've would have been there forever."

"Shut up, princess and admit you lost." She smirked. "Do you want me to hold your servo as you cry, sore loser?"

Skywarp giggled. "Burn! She got ya, TC."

"Shut up." Thundercracker grunted as he stood up. "She still has much improvement to make if she hopes to win against me in actual combat. Or any Seeker for that matter."

"That orbital cycle will be here soon enough." Zephyr replied.

Thundercracker picked up his energon. "When we get out of this hospital it's time for you to learn how to use a gun. We'll go to the shooting range and maybe your carrier can come with."

"Yes!" Zephyr exclaimed.

"She's a sparkling!" Skyfire shouted. "She shouldn't be around weapons at all!"

Thundercracker gave him a look. "She _is_ a weapon. Everything else is merely an extension of her body. She already knows how to take apart a gun, clean it, and reassemble it. Pistols, shotguns, and a sniper. And she is already learning how to use a blade."

"You people are insane."

Skywarp looked at him. "Better to be insane and alive, than never learn how to fight and be dead."

"Skyfire, you may not understand it, but the world hates Seekers. We have no choice but to learn how to defend ourselves since birth."

"I've seen the hatred."

Thundercracker gave a dry chuckle. "You haven't seen slag."

Skyfire narrowed his optics, but remained silent.

* * *

 **Ask Skyfire pointed out, just because something has always been done and may be "tradition" does NOT mean it's "right" or should be done. Eating animals, wearing animals, killing animals, enslaving animals and children, rape, murder, etc. has always been done, but none of it is necessary, good, or benefits us in ANY way. Living a peaceful, compassionate VEGAN lifestyle DOES help us. Not sticking to the old ways and hurting and killing others. If those old ways were beneficial, why is the world so fucked up? Why are we always sick? The planet being destroyed? Progress is changing these bad things, removing them, and seeking BETTER and cruelty-FREE ways of living. Not sticking to the old ways.**

 **The traditional Seekers basically represent Fundamentalism. Which is sticking to old, corrupt ways and usually is using religion to make it seem like it supports their cruel ways by twisting and misinterpreting religious texts. The traditional Seekers just keep claiming that the old ways are best because they keep the Seekers alive and together. The progressive Seekers are the non-traditional ones.**

 **Star not being able to produce a counter argument so becoming pissed is common for those who don't want to accept they are wrong and are in the stages of denial. It's like when I explain to carnists why they need to go vegan. Some are quick to accept truths and progress, and some are like Starscream here where they rather get pissed than make necessary changes. But, Starscream, just like those carnists, have been told lies all their lives that they now believe them to be true. Keep telling a lie and you soon believe it.**

 **Dawn is named after Dawnstar from my Libero Trilogy. :D**

 **Starscream has postpartum depression. He's feeling so awful, so depressed from that and the abuse that anything that makes him feel even a tiny bit better is better than nothing. Many people get into drugs due to having such a hard life, they are desperate to feel good even if for a brief time, that getaway drugs seem to be the only option for them.**

 **If you've noticed, Starscream has been thinking more and more of his position and life as the chapters keep going. And he's acting more like himself around Skyfire. Not scared, not holding back, just Starscream.**

 **Yes, there's robot pepperspray! XD Suffer, TC! And if you've noticed Skyfire is starting to get more comfortable handling Seekers, primarily TC.**

 **Thundercracker is really hurt by how Zephyr is treating him. But, as trineleader he feels like he needs to hide his emotions. Trineleaders need to be strong for their trinemates. So, he tries to make it seem he's just disappointed Zephyr is talking shit and can't fight back. Trying to make it seem it's all part of training, but it really does hurt him. He just wants his babies to love him. :(**

 **More drama to come! And this isn't even the worst part of the story! :D Hate me people. Keep commenting and let me know your thoughts and questions! I love hearing from you guys. Don't be shy! :3**


	11. Steelwing Trains Me

**Chapter 11**

I was out for fifteen orbital cycles. Just lying there, offline, fighting to stay alive, but I made it.

I slowly onlined my optics, feeling so out of it. I saw the white ceiling, then noticed weight on me. I looked down, seeing both my trinemates on the medberth, covering me, recharging quietly as they protected their fallen brother. On top of my torso were the two youngest sparklings, and just below them was Zephyr who mostly lied on my abdominal plates and legs. I was completely covered and had absolutely no space.

"Thunder? Warp?" I asked softly, still feeling weak.

Thundercracker onlined first, slowly looking up, his wings perking and optics brightly onlining when seeing that I was online. I found myself being kissed on the lip plates, heard his engine purring, and saw his wings fluttering madly. Skywarp onlined, then wriggled so excitedly, kissing me frantically as his engine purred and wings fluttering.

"Scree!" He exclaimed. "We were so worried!"

"Very much so." Thundercracker kissed me again. "Don't you ever do this again."

I swallowed, staying silent. I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't even remember what happened. Just… needles and need.

"Carrier!" Zephyr shouted excitedly, her wings fluttering crazily.

"Hey, princess." I faintly smiled.

"Ba da?" Dawn rubbed at her optics as she onlined.

Storm onlined and started to cry, reaching for his carrier.

"Shhh, shhh, carrier has you." Skywarp picked him up as he sat up, holding his son close.

I felt somewhat relieved getting his weight off me. I looked over, now able to see the room, curious where I was. My wings lowered when I saw two royal guards at the door. I turned to my trineleader.

"How long was I out?" I asked quietly.

"Just over an orn." He grunted.

"How bad was it?"

"You almost died."

My optics widened. "Are both my creators here?"

"Yes."

"Why did sire come all this way?"

"He's your sire, for one. And he's paying your medical bills."

I bit my lower lip plate, not wanting to see sire. I love him, I just didn't want to hear a lecture from him. He's far more intimidating than Thundercracker.

"I'll go get them." Thundercracker kissed me before getting up.

I watched him walk out of the room before looking at my daughters. "Hey, loves. How are my femmlings?"

"Doing well, carrier." Zephyr smiled before hugging me.

I smiled, hugging her best I could. "Mmm, love you. How's school?"

"It's fine."

"And how is the Tiny Terror?"

"Being tiny and a terror. Right, Dawn?"

Dawn just chewed on her fist, watching me, expecting me to do something other than lie there and be useless. I was her slave, after all. A carrier had to obey their sparkling's demands.

"They've both been good." Skywarp commented as he opened his chestplates for Storm. "Dawn and Storm are inseparable. Everyone thinks they're twins."

"They practically are. Could you imagine if both of us did have twins? Like, at the same time?"

Skywarp giggled. "That would be fun."

"It would be insane."

"I want twins. I want TC to spark me again. I want to have a bunch of sparklings with him." He fluttered his wings as he hugged Storm.

I didn't say anything, just watched my daughters, stroking Dawn on the helm.

The door soon opened and Thundercracker entered, followed by my carrier and Skyfire.

"Oh, my sparkling!" Carrier was beside me in an instant and hugged me. "Sweetspark, I was so worried!" She kissed my cheekplates. "Don't ever scare me again. Please… Don't use those things." She said the last sentence quietly, her optics filled with worry and static.

I swallowed, feeling like the planet's lowest pile of slag for doing this to my carrier. "I'm sorry, carrier." I said quietly. "I won't. I promise." And I would keep that promise to my carrier.

She hugged me again, then kissed me on the brow. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Weak."

"The doctor said you shouldn't be in here too much longer once you onlined."

"Hey, Star." Skyfire smiled, getting on the other side of the berth. "Looking better."

I faintly smirked. "You're still looking fat."

"Feisty as ever." He patted my helm.

"Skyfire and I have been talking a lot." Carrier said with a smile. "I like him. Good job picking out friends. Him and the other guy are just the sweetest things." She knew not to say Gearshift's designation in front of Thundercracker. I had told her my fears. As long as Thunder suspected my old school friend of being a flyer, all was well.

We just engaged in some friendly palaver for about a breem before the guy who only thinks with his spike entered the room. He was dressed in his full royal garb, crown, cape, everything, with several of his best personal guard flanking behind his trinemates.

"Finally online." Sire smiled as he came over, towering above me. "Took you long enough."

"Hey, sire." I said softly. "Thanks for paying for everything."

"Mhmm." He barely gave the rest of the room a sidelong glare. "Leave us." He ordered firmly followed by a snap of his digits.

Carrier kissed me on the cheekplates before quickly leaving. My trinemates took the Seekerlets and walked out without another word, and all of the guards marched out. Uncle Turbine and Uncle Flare shared smirks with each other as they left.

Skyfire was confused, but followed everyone else.

Once the door was shut did my sire turn to me, his mood changed. I was dead. I don't consider myself religious, but, dammit, did I pray just then.

His wings flared as he rested his servos on the medberth on either side of me. I suddenly felt like I was a tiny, helpless sparkling and sire was that monstrous giant that could eat entire buildings. I shrunk back, wings low, looking away, showing every sign of submission that I could to him.

"Starscream."

I looked up at him, only to yelp when he slapped me across the faceplates. I was trembling now, rubbing where he struck me, too scared to look at him again.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" He suddenly roared. "Syk?! Circuit boosters?! What son of mine lowers himself to the level of a street-begging grounder?!"

"I-I'm sorry, sire!" I had coolant leaking from my optics now. "I-I don't know what-"

"You know what happened." He grasped my neck and pinned me down, forcing me to look up at his murderous optics. "You're damn lucky I love you too much to disown you. I ought to. I ought to tear you apart. I'm already struggling to keep the damn Senate out of my city and fighting for the rights of Seekers, only to have one of my sons to act like a lowlife bastard. Do you realize what the press would do if they found out? I already had to bribe two reporters to stay silent. If anyone else found out that my own son, and one from one of my favorite breeding mates, was a Syk addict… All that I've been working for would be destroyed. I am fighting to stay in control of my city. I own two thirds of it, you know that, right? Do you know how hard the Senate is trying to take that away from me? Do you know how hard the Functionists are trying to take every right away from us Seekers and get us all thrown into the military and chained in cages when not in use? Do you understand how serious this all is?! Or are you that sheltered and stupid to not fully grasp just how much slag you put me in!?"

I was too scared to fight, just trembling as I started to cry. "Sire, p-please, you're hurting me!"

"Hurting you?" He suddenly lifted me up as if I weighed nothing and slammed me to the ground as hard as he could.

I cried out, curling into a ball, my wing twisted and bent from taking the blunt of the impact.

"I ought to flog you. Whip your plates right off your protoform, you miserable cog." He kicked me, causing me to yelp. He grasped my neck again and lifted me up, holding me off the ground. I grabbed his wrists, crying as I pleadingly looked at him with scared optics. He just watched me, glaring, then… The anger dissipated, his wings lowering, and all aggression fading away. He set me down, only to pull me into a hug. I was still scared, but hugged him anyway, wanting my sire back. He vented a sigh. "Having creations is making me go soft." He said in a much calmer vocalizer. "I just see you when you were a little sparkling… How the hell do I beat the slag out of that?"

"I-I'm s-sorry, s-sire!" I kept crying, still trembling. "I-I just… I-I've been feeling l-like… I just w-wanted to feel good..!"

He let me go and sat on the medberth, wings hiking again but not being aggressive. "Why would you use circuit boosters, Starscream?" He inquired, firmly, but not angrily.

"I-I just…" I swallowed, trying to calm down. "I-I took a circuit booster o-out of curiosity and it… F-felt good. I want t-to feel good always. I just… Been feeling awful after h-having Dawn and I don't know why. I-I felt like… Just miserable."

"Did you even try seeing a doctor about that or speak to your trineleader?"

"N-no, sir."

"Why not?"

"H-he's been… I-I've not the best trinemate. I'm trying! _I'm trying so damn hard_ but..! I'm not good enough, sire."

Sire studied me. He was still mad, but I guess he just knew he couldn't hurt one of his own creations so wanted to instead be helpful to me. Like I've said before, he's a good sire.

"Do I need to speak to him?"

"I don't want to get in trouble."

"Starscream, I'm the Alpha and you're my son. Don't worry about that."

"I just want to be happy and not feel like this…"

"If you started to feel worse after having Dawn you might have postpartum depression. It's not uncommon. Several of my breeding mates have gotten it. Flare got it with Monsoon and Daybreak. Your carrier even had it with you and your younger siblings."

"Uncle Flare felt bad?"

"Yeah, your Uncle Flare got really depressed. He had to use programs to get better. Then I sparked him with Monsoon, and he was really bad after having her, so that's why I stopped breeding him. And your carrier has had it with four sparklings now so I've stopped breeding her. Maybe in a vorn or two I'll breed those two again. Hailstorm also had postpartum depression. It's just a thing that happens."

"Why?"

"Usually because the carrier is depressed or stressed during or before carrying. Flare, you know, always has had his issues. Your carrier… I took her from a trine. She was trined already when I found her. And she's been upset about me taking her."

I was silent a moment. "Why did you take carrier from her trine?"

He just smiled. "Because I wanted to frag her, of course! She's slagging gorgeous, thin, sexy as hell…" He fluttered his wings. "I wanted a beautiful femme like her to be mine. So I just took her."

"How?"

"Why do you suddenly want to know?"

"Because she's never told me the story."

"Or do you not want to talk about your drug problem?"

"My trineleader will handle me."

"Clearly not…"

"Sire… How did you take carrier?"

"When I saw her with her trine I knew I wanted her. It was in the courtyard that I discovered her. I just walked over, grabbed her, and fragged her in front of her trinemates. And once I was done I sent two guards with her to help her pack her belongings and move in with me. I chased away her previous trinemates and that was the end of it. She's been mine since."

I was silent, imagining myself in my carrier's position. If someone outside of the trine just walked over and fragged me, that would be rape. No doubt. But this was the Alpha, so it was different. But, any other Seeker doing that would have been rape… Sire never raped carrier… Did he?

Sire stood up. "I'm not sorry for hurting you, but I am warning you. Take anymore circuit boosters or do anything to ruin me, and I'll tear your wings off." He paused. "And take care of yourself. See a doctor about your depression. Call your carrier."

"Why am I depressed with my trine?" I asked him quietly.

"Try bonding better. I have settled many unhappy trine relationships by simply telling them to be better about bonding."

"How do we bond better?"

Sire stopped by the door. "I don't know. Do whatever makes you all happy. Eat each other out, bondage… Stick a ped in it." He shrugged before palming the door open.

I perked my wings. "Ped…? Seriously? The hell that's supposed to mean?"

"You know… Stick a ped in it. Wriggle it around." He shrugged again as he gave me look. "That's all I'm saying about it." He then walked out.

I'm glad he didn't say more…

Skycutter walked down the hallway, snapping his digits for his trinemates to get in formation behind him. Thundercracker and Skywarp lowered their wings and turned away in submission as sire passed. Zephyr mimicked them, leaning how to respect the Alpha.

"Coming with me?" Sire slapped carrier on the aft.

"Ah! Primus..." She rubbed her aft. "I would like to stay with my son."

"Talk to him about his relationship with his trine. If you suspect I should speak to his trineleader let me know."

"I shall."

He grabbed her chin, sexily smirking. "And then, I want you in my berth, my little vixen." His wings fluttered.

"Skycutter…" Carrier pushed at his chestplates.

"Hmm? What?" He kissed her on the lip plates.

"I'll be there. Let me take care of our son."

"Don't be gone too long. I have paperwork to do tonight and I need to be inside of my feisty turbofox as I do it." He tugged her collar. When in public breeding mates were required to wear collars to show they were owned by the Alpha. It ensured no one made the mistake of courting them, or if they wanted to rape them they would know exactly whose property they just damaged.

"Yes, sir." She pushed his servo away before turning and walking off.

Sire perked his wings as he watched carrier walk off. "We should all take her tonight. Agree?"

Turbine smirked as he nodded. "Absolutely, Skycutter. Maybe do something more?"

"Let's not hurt her." Flare said softly. "She's stressed enough over Stars. And I kinda just want my trineleader to myself."

Skycutter smiled. "How about I give my brothers some time alone with their trineleader right now? We'll deal with that femme later."

Flare nodded quickly. "And lots of cuddles! And slow for me."

"As you wish." Skycutter kissed him on the lip plates.

Flare fluttered his wings, kissing back. "Love you, Sky."

"Love you even more, Flare." He let him go. "Come." He ordered before turning and walking away.

Turbine flared his wings and flicked them at Flare, who lowered his wings in submission and backed down. Turbine quickly followed after Skycutter, and Flare did so slowly. The personal guards marched behind them.

Skyfire watched them leave having been studying the relationship of the Elite Trine and the other Seekers who he saw. My full siblings had visited while I was in stasis lock, so Skyfire got to see how they interacted and treated each other. All for his dumb case against my trineleader…

I was sitting on the medberth now, sore from sire attacking me. Thundercracker was being very affectionate, kissing me, purring his engine, nuzzling his olfactory sensor against my faceplates, and licking my cheekplates. I absolutely loved the positive attention. I wanted to be treated like this forever.

Skywarp was taking care of the sparklings, and Moonlight was tending to my wing. Skyfire entered just as carrier began to unbend and straighten out my wing. I cried out, and Thundercracker had to take a break from his cuddling to hold me in place until she had finished.

"There. Just needs to be smoothed out." Carrier said once she had finished.

"Ouch… Thanks, carrier." I said softly, hugging my trineleader.

"Any time, sweetspark."

"I'm going to talk to the doctor and see if we can get you out of here soon." Thundercracker said as he held me close to him. "I rather you not stay here much longer."

I was scared about leaving. I didn't want to be punished and I just knew a beating was waiting for me. I swallowed as I hugged him tighter.

"Being home would be awesome instead of here all the time." Skywarp grunted, opening his chestplates as he held Dawn.

I perked my wings, then reached out for her. "I want to refuel her."

"But aren't you weak?" Skywarp asked.

"I don't care. I want my daughter."

"Let him." Carrier said softly. "He's strong enough."

Skywarp handed her over and I held her close, kissing her on the cheekplates. I removed my chestplates and let her latch on before relaxing in Thundercracker's arms. He kissed me on the lip plates.

"And to think you once thought you wouldn't be able to handle a sparkling." He smirked. "Just wait. In four stellar cycles I'll spark you and Skywarp again. And then another five stellar cycles yet again." He kissed me, my wings only lowered.

"I want to be sparked again!" Skywarp exclaimed. "I want twins!"

"I'll try my best." Thundercracker chuckled.

I looked over at Skyfire, my expression telling him exactly what I thought about having another sparkling. He only ran a digit along his neck before nodding his helm at Thundercracker, silently telling me to leave him. But, how could I? He's my trineleader and I belonged to him.

* * *

The hospital let me leave the next orbital cycle. I said my farewells to my creators and uncles, departed from Skyfire, and was brought home. Thundercracker let me relax with my daughters for most of the orbital cycle. Once the sparklings went to recharge Thundercracker ordered me to his room. I was scared, trembling as I sat on his berth. He locked the door, grabbed the cable, and pulled up a chair before sitting down on it. My wings drooped, static in my optics as I nervously watched him.

"So," He said calmly, messing with the cable in his servos as he eyed it. "What do I do now?" He then looked at me.

I swallowed, close to sobs now. "Y-you're going t-to punish m-me?"

"That's just the thing. I punish and I punish and I punish, but you still act up. Why? What must I do to ensure you stop being… you? Why drugs? What is making you be so… rebellious?"

I swallowed, but didn't say anything, scared to.

"Tell me Starscream. Be honest. I need to know."

I bit my lower lip plate. "I… Feel really sad…"

"How so?"

"I just… Ever since having Dawn… I-I feel terrible. Like I'm just… Worthless." I wiped at my optics as coolant started to leak out. "L-like I-I don't belong in this trine. Th-that it was a mistake. That… you courted the wrong Seeker. That you do-don't love me. A-and I feel like… M-maybe everyone w-would be happier if I-I wasn't around."

Thundercracker leaned forward in his chair, wings perking. "Why do you feel this way?"

I swallowed. "I-I told sire and he said… He said I have postpartum depression. Th-that it makes me feel like this b-because I have a sparkling and all my programs and… Everything is off from the carrying and that I was depressed during the carrying so that's why it's so bad. H-he said it's not uncommon."

"So, you think you have postpartum depression?"

I slowly nodded. "Yes, sir. I… I had been having thoughts that I don't want my daughters around and everything would be better without them which… Postpartum depression does that. I-I talked to my carrier last night because sire said she had it with me and my younger siblings. A lot of her feelings and thoughts are the same as what I'm going through right now. And I just…" I paused. "I-I've been feeling so awful, Thundercracker. And these thoughts have been scaring me. I-I don't know what to do!" I started to sob as I became more emotional.

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I-I was scared I would upset you."

"Why would you upset me if you're not feeling well? My job is to take care of you, Starscream. I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong."

"I-I just… I didn't know what was going on.. And I don't want you to think that I'm depressed because of you."

"Do you know what's making you depressed?"

I shook my helm.

"Is that why you took the circuit boosters?"

I slowly nodded. "Someone showed me them and… Th-they felt good. I felt happy. I didn't feel like… I wanted to hurt myself. A-and I wanted to keep feeling that. And then I lost control, a-and I just…" I started to break down and cry. "I don't kn-know what to do! I-I hate feeling l-like this!"

"What do you think would make you feel better?"

I wiped at my optics, trying to calm down. "S-sire said to see a doctor a-and get programs for depression. A-and he said… He said w-we need to all be happy in interface. He said most trine problems are with bonding."

"You think if we bonded differently you would be happy?"

"I-I don't know, sir. I just… I want to be better. I don't want to feel this way. I-I want your help. I want to just… Be happy."

"That's all you want is to be happy?"

I nodded, wiping at my optics. "Real happy. No drugs, no engex, just happy with my trine, my daughters, my friends, everything…"

Thundercracker was silent a moment before standing. I lowered my wings, positive the next thing he would say would be for me to lie down so he could beat me. But, instead he set the cable down on his desk, then gently pushed me down on the berth so I lied on my back.

"Let me make you happy, then." He said softly before kissing me on the lip plates.

I swallowed, not really in the mood for interface, but his servos roved over my frame, feeling me, pleasuring me with electrical shocks, groping me. I moaned, offlining my optics as I allowed him to have control over me. He gently kissed me on the neck, his servos squeezing my breastplates. One of his servos lowered and rubbed my codpiece. I obediently opened it, prepared for his spike to be in there instantly, but instead his digits pressed against my outer sensory node, sending a wave of pleasure through me. I moaned, writhing some. His digits kept rubbing, pressing, and circling around my valve, and I was quickly turned on. He removed his own codpiece and pressed the tip of his spike against my valve, holding it there as he kissed me on the lip plates.

"Ready?" He asked with a smile.

My wings perked, not use to him ever asking that. I faintly smiled as I nodded.

He pressed a kiss to my lip plates as he pushed in me slowly. Agonizingly slow. I moaned into his mouth. writhing beneath him. He grabbed my legs and forced them onto his hips, then began to thrust, but slow. So, fragging slow. I grabbed onto his arms, moaning, smiling up at him. I was loving this.

He smirked. "You're going to love what I do next."

I cocked my helm. "What?"

He leaned over me more, moving his hips, changing the angle of his spike, adjusting himself. I was confused, not sure what was happening. Then he slowly pushed into me and I felt it. My optics widened and I moaned as loudly as I could, grasping his arms tightly. He slowly pulled out, then thrust in hard. I practically screamed from the pure ecstasy that was coming. It felt so amazing, it was somehow tingled in pain but awesome pain. It was… I couldn't hold still. I wanted to scream, to run, to freak out. I just bit my lower lip plate and pathetically looked up to him as I clutched onto him for dear life.

He found my primary sensory node. And the slagger knew how to work me.

"Oh! Ahhh! Primus! Nrrrrrgh! Ah! Mmmrrrrgh!" I writhed, and he just chuckled.

He got harder and faster, and I just died from the pure bliss and wondrous sensation he brought me. He tapped my chestplates and I opened them. He leaned over, kissing and licking my spark casing as he kept thrusting in that heavenly location. I was a useless, pathetic mess beneath him. He had to pin me down by my wrists above my helm because I kept squirming.

I overloaded, screaming from how powerful it was. I moaned and writhed, arching my backstrut as the raw energy surged throughout my frame, some seeping into him and some into the berth beneath me.

He smiled, exhaling heavily as he looked down on me. I was panting hard, trying to cool down.

"Happy?" He smirked.

"I feel amazing, exhausted, and like I want to punch you." I replied between pants.

He chuckled and kissed me on the lip plates. "Want to go again?"

"I want to just snuggle and you hold me close, kiss me, and tell me how much you love me." I fluttered my wings.

"I can certainly do that." He kissed me again. "I love you, Starscream. Till the bitter end."

I reached up and hugged him, wings still fluttering. "Love you more, Thunder. Till the bitter end."

* * *

Skyfire knocked on the door, wings perking when Skywarp opened it.

"Hey, big guy. Here to see Screamer?" My brother asked.

"Yeah, thought I'll come by to check on him." Skyfire replied.

"He's in his room." Skywarp gestured him inside.

Skyfire entered and walked to the stairs. "Hey, Zephyr." He smiled as he waved at my daughter.

"Hi, Skyfire!" She waved back, sitting on the couch with her siblings as they watched cartoons.

Skyfire went up the stairs, then palmed open the door to my room. "Hey, Starscream! I thought-Ack!" He quickly covered his optics as he turned away.

"Hey, Skyfire!" I smiled, wings fluttering. "Come on in!"

Skyfire groaned. "I did not mean to walk in on you two."

"It's fine. We don't mind. Ohhh!" I moaned, lying on my back on the berth as Thundercracker thrust into me. He leaned over me, one servo pinning my wrists on the berth above my helm as the other grasped my waist. My legs were wrapped around his hips, our chestplates open from having spark bonded a couple of times already. "Thunder is just bonding, hah, with me."

"Stop talking." Thundercracker growled, but from being turned on, not actually angry, then kissed me silent.

"I-I rather not." Skyfire kept looking away.

Thundercracker broke the kiss to look over at Skyfire. "Shuttle. Watch this." He adjusted himself, then begun to thrust harder and faster, finding my primary sensory node. The slagging afthelm.

"Ahh! Primus! Nnnnrrrgh!" I writhed and squirmed pathetically beneath him. "More! Ahhh! Stop! Mmmmrrrnnnngh! Ahahh! I SLAGGING LOVE-HATE YOU!"

"Scream louder, glitch." Thundercracker smiled lustfully before biting my neck, pounding brutally into me.

Skyfire shut the door and quickly walked away. He went back to the living room and sat on the couch. "I need to burn out my optics…"

Skywarp perked his wings as he was cleaning the table. "Didn't want to watch?"

"It's not my kind of thing."

"I don't want to watch, either…" He drooped his wings. "When Thundercracker loves on him extra it just reminds me I'm only his third trinemate. Starscream is his favorite…"

"With how much he hurts Starscream I highly doubt that." Skyfire grunted.

"Thundercracker sparked him twice. He sparked him before me. I've been trined to Thunder stellar cycles before we even met Star. I… I've been begging TC to spark me since our first stellar cycle together, but he never did… Not until after _Starscream_ had a sparkling. And he always…" He chose his words carefully for the sparklings present. "He always gets intimate with Starscream first. Always. And sometimes just bonds with Star and not me… And just…" Skywarp swallowed, resetting his optics, not wanting to cry in front of the Seekerlets. "Star's his favorite because he's a prince and he's prettier than me. I-I'm ugly and fat compared to him."

"You are not, Skywarp." Skyfire said quickly. "You're… To be honest you're really hot. _Way_ hot."

"As a Seeker compared to other frametypes, yeah, but as a Seeker compared to other Seekers…"

"Skywarp, I grew up in Vos and saw Seekers all the time. You beat all of them. You certainly beat Thundercracker."

Skywarp faintly smiled as he wiped a couple of tears away. "You really think I look better than Thundercracker?"

"Absolutely. And you're way skinnier than him. You're super skinny. One of the skinniest Seekers I've ever seen."

"Really?" His wings perked more. "Y-you really think that and not saying it to make me feel better?"

"What do I have to gain for lying to you?" Skyfire remarked. "You and Starscream both are far too pretty to be with the likes of Thundercracker. He's only getting by because you two distract everyone from his average visage."

Skywarp giggled. "He's kinda handsome…"

"Not compared to you."

Skywarp hesitated, then walked over and hugged Skyfire. Skyfire paused, then gently hugged him back.

"Now I see why Starscream likes you." Skywarp fluttered his wings.

"You didn't before?"

"Maybe… You should come over more often."

"I try but Thundercracker is a grouch."

"He just doesn't trust you. A shuttle hanging out with Seekers is kinda odd, ya know?"

"How do I earn his trust?"

Skywarp giggled. "Don't touch what isn't yours."

"I would never… recharge with you or Starscream."

"Thunder doesn't know that. Who _wouldn't_ want to lie with a prince?"

"Someone who rather have a friend than gloat about a berthroom trophy."

"There's a word for that: Eunuch." Skywarp smirked.

Skyfire rolled his optics. "Everything is just fine and dandy down there."

"Never said it wasn't, but if you insist." He giggled as his wings fluttered.

"There's sparklings present."

"Two are still learning how to count and one will be learning about these things in 4 stellar cycles."

"What things?" Zephyr perked her wings.

"Your carrier will tell you." Skywarp walked over to Storm and picked him up.

Zephyr looked up at Skyfire. "Sire said that shuttles don't actually have brain modules. I don't believe him. Just letting you know."

"Thanks." Skyfire grunted.

Skyfire perked his wings when the loud clopping of running thruster heels sounded. I bolted over to him and hugged him, my wings fluttering madly.

"Oh, hey there, shortstuff." Skyfire faintly smiled, hugging me back.

I giggled, getting onto his lap to keep hugging him. "Hey, fatty."

"You're really warm. Calm down. You're going to fall and get hurt if you keep wiggling like that. Silly Seeker." He patted my helm, his other arm holding me firmly so I wouldn't fall as I kept wiggling, bouncing, and snuggling on him.

Skyfire just smiled, always finding it funny how excited and happy Seekers behaved. And I always have an excess amount of energy so I'm extra hyper when excited. His smile faded when Thundercracker appeared, my trinemate being as intimidating as always. Wings hiked, a stern expression, commanding in his body language. I just kept wiggling around, more to annoy Skyfire than anything else at this point.

"Hello, Thundercracker." Skyfire greeted calmly.

"Skyfire." He grunted, walking by him to go to his daughters. Thunder's entire mood just changed as he picked up Dawn and kissed her on the cheekplates. "Hey, princess." His wings fluttered, engine purring, just pride and love emanating from his entire being. He nuzzled olfactory sensors with her, and she grabbed at his faceplates. "Who loves you?"

"Shuh shuh!" Dawn squealed, slapping his chestplates.

His smile only grew. "Yes, I love my little princess." He kissed her cheekplates again before turning to Zephyr. "And how is my other precious princess doing?" He kissed her cheekplates.

"Stop!" She shoved at him, flaring her wings and growling her engine best she could. "Don't touch me, fragface!"

Thundercracker was hurt by that, but he hid his feelings. He quickly hiked his wings up when they instinctively lowered, and returned his expression to one of a stern enigma. He was about to speak, but I beat him to it.

"Zephyr!" I shouted strictly, my wings flaring. "That is no way to speak to your sire."

"I don't care, carrier. He's a terrible person who hurts you and Uncle Warp!" She cried, exasperated with me.

"He's the reason you even exist, young femme. He is the guardian and leader of this trine. He provides for us, he protects us from the outside world, he makes sure you will _never_ be cold, hungry, or homeless! He could kick you out of his trine and you would have _no one_ to take care of you. You treat him with respect. He loves and cares for all of us. Just because he's forced to punish Skywarp and I doesn't mean he's a bad person nor deserving of mistreatment like that. Apologize to your sire." I flicked my wings.

Zephyr rolled her optics as she got up. "He can kick me out. See if I care." She grumbled as she stormed away.

"Zephyr, I did not dismiss you!" I growled my engine, flicking my wings.

She just stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to her room shut.

Thundercracker handed me Dawn, then kissed me on the lip plates. "I'll talk to her." He said softly before leaving.

It was silent for a bit before I spoke up. "Dawn, you should eat Skyfire's face!" I held her up to his faceplates.

Skyfire smiled. "Hey, Dawn. You are getting bigger each orbital cycle. You and Storm both."

She reached out for him, and he gently took her, allowing her to grab at his chestplates and bite them. Or, at least try to.

"So…" I leaned against him, enjoying the comfort his mere presence brought me. "Thundercracker wants to take us, minus you, to Vos for some time. He thinks we need a vacation and I would do better for a time away from here to heal from… My problem. He said maybe a decacycle. And he wants me to take a semester off from school to just focus on healing."

"Or, just do a part-time schedule for school." Skyfire suggested.

"I'm going to talk to my advisor. Just gonna tell him I'm having drama in the family."

"If you need anything let me know."

"I will." I snuggled against him.

"He didn't hurt you yesterday after you went home, right?"

I looked up at him. "No. He never punished me. We talked and… He just loved on me. And loved on me more this morning." I fluttered my wings. "I have the best trineleader ever." I hugged Skyfire. "He even found my primary sensory node last night and five times this morning." I giggled.

"I really don't want to know. Unless he finds treasure he plans on sharing, I don't want to know what he finds." Skyfire grunted.

"Oh, there's treasure in my codpiece he certainly won't share."

"Starscream!"

I snickered as I squeezed him in a tight hug. "Love making you squirm." I suddenly leaped up and punched in the abdominal plates, eliciting pained gasp from him. "Tag! You're it!" I then bolted away.

"Guh… Why is he like this…?" Skyfire moaned.

Skywarp smirked. "I'll catch him and hand him over to you. We'll take the prince out together."

* * *

They did. They ganged up on me and tickled me to death…

That night I leaped onto Thundercracker's berth and lied down, fluttering my wings madly, them slapping the berth loudly. Thundercracker faintly smiled as he got on the berth with me, pressed a loving kiss to my lip plates, then lied down beside me.

"You're still so energetic after all of that fragging and running around? We could power the city with your energy." He kissed me again.

I just kept fluttering my wings as I snuggled against him. "I wanna be in the middle! Please?"

"That's fine. Calm down. You're going to hit Skywarp."

I turned around and pressed by backside into Thundercracker's front, holding my arms out for Skywarp. Skywarp kissed me before lying beside me and hugging me. Us subordinates just snuggled and got as close as we could to each other before our trineleader wrapped a protective arm over us and pulled us close to him. I loved being in the middle of these two.

"Recharge well, my loves." Thundercracker said softly. "And hopefully those two stay quiet for the entire night." He grunted, glancing over at the crib where the two youngest Seekerlets were recharging.

"You know they won't." I replied, resting my brow against Skywarp's chestplates. "Love you, two."

"Love you both." Skywarp fluttered his wings.

"Love my trinemates." Thundercracker leaved over and kissed us both on the cheekplates.

I smiled, my optics offline, just enjoying these quiet moments with my trinemates. They reminded me why I loved this trine and why I would never leave. Abusive trineleaders would never have such moments, of course not! My trineleader was the best. And I loved him.

* * *

A few orbital cycles later and I found myself landing on the balcony outside of Thundercracker's creators' apartment. I set down my daughters, having carried both the entire trip, and held their servos in mine. Skywarp kept Storm on his hip, not as tired as I was because he had carried less. My daughters both fussed and complained when asked if they wanted to ride on anyone else. I didn't mind. I love my femmlings and will carry them until my wings tore off.

Thundercracker knocked on the door, wings perking when it opened.

"You said your ETA was 14:00. It's 14:21." Steelwing grunted.

"Nice seeing you, too, old mech." Thundercracker grunted as he entered the apartment.

I lowered my wings and looked down as I walked in, not wanting to piss off Steelwing. Skywarp inclined his helm as he followed inside.

"Where are my little grandcreations?!" Borealis exclaimed as she hurried over.

"Grandcarrier!" Zephyr released my servo and ran to her, hugging Borealis.

"Oh, you've gotten so big, sweetspark." Borealis fluttered her wings, hugging my eldest.

"Carrier said I'm gonna be taller than him!" Zephyr proudly proclaimed.

"Oh, I bet you will be."

Steelwing held out his servos to me. "Let me see my newest granddaughter." He ordered rather than asked.

I lowered my wings and hesitantly handed her over. I stepped back and got slightly behind Thundercracker. I just felt unusually uncomfortable around Steelwing. Little did I realize my instincts were silently warning me of what would come.

"Hey there, Dawn." Steelwing smiled at her. "Hope you come out better than your bratty carrier."

Dawn kept her optics on me as she chewed two digits, her other servo holding her grandsire's cheastplate.

Skywarp approached with wings lowered in submission. "Want to see your grandson?"

"I do." Steelwing then took Storm with his other servo, holding both the little ones in his arms. "Still not enough, Thundercracker. I want more from you!"

"In time, sire." Thundercracker grunted, going over to his carrier and hugging her, his wings fluttering. "Hey, beautiful, femme. Looking gorgeous as always." He smiled.

"Oh, shut up." She smiled sheepishly. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. He's doing well now since he's out of the hospital."

"I'm glad to hear that. Oh, you need to come with me. Your siblings sent me some things I want to show you." She started to walk off, leading Zephyr with her.

"I'm coming, carrier." Thundercracker followed. "Hey, Uncle Gale."

"Hey, Thunder." Gale smiled as Thundercracker passed him.

Steelwing handed Storm back to Skywarp, but instead of returning Dawn to me he handed her off to Gale. I lowered my wings, wanting my daughter back. I shrunk back when Steelwing's hateful gaze fell on me.

"You better not have brought any drugs into my home, you cheap whore." Steelwing growled.

I felt like someone had punched me in the abdominal plates. I took several steps back, shaking my helm. "N-no, sir. I-I don't do that."

"Then explain why you were in stasis lock from a Syk overdose?" He snapped.

I quickly took my daughter from Gale and rushed to the back of the apartment where Thundercracker was.

"Get back over here you disrespectful brat! I didn't dismiss you!"

I ignored him, going to Borealis' room and finding my trineleader. I pressed myself against his front, curling into his frame as I clutched Dawn. Those strong arms wrapped around me and I knew I was safe. I was always safe so long as I was held by him. He kissed the top of my helm and I felt myself calming down.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Borealis' loving vocalizer asked.

"He gets anxious when not around me. Just a little clingy." Thundercracker said calmly, not wanting to upset Borealis that I was absolutely terrified of her trineleader. Thundercracker knew I didn't feel safe around his sire, but, I loved Borealis and got along fine with Gale so he never felt like I hated being at his creators'. I mean, I loved getting to be with Borealis. I just wished that grouch wasn't around her all the time.

Thundercracker sat down on the berth and pulled me onto his lap. I curled into his chassis, clutching him as if I would die if let go. He just stroked my backplates as he talked to his carrier.

I eventually did calm down, but I refused to leave my trineleader's lap. Skywarp was with us, everyone enjoying Steelwing not being around.

"I better get these guys refueled and in berth." Thundercracker said when it was getting late, his servo patting my aft lovingly. "I'll see you in the morning, carrier." He then stood up, picking me up bridal style as he did so. I held Dawn close to me.

"Alright, you all recharge well." Borealis smiled.

Thundercracker walked out and took us to the energon room where we all grabbed some cubes. We were heading to the room where we would be staying when Steelwing saw us in the hallway.

"Can he not walk from using drugs or is it because he lets everyone frag him?" He rudely snapped.

Thundercracker flicked his wings, engine growling. "Shut your mouth, slagger. You do not speak ill of my brothers. Especially not to their faces."

"Just asking a question, son." He shrugged.

Thundercracker stomped by and locked us in our room. He set me on the berth and kissed me. I hugged Dawn, wings drooping and looking away.

"Want some energon?" Thundercracker asked as he held up a cube to me.

I shook my helm, coolant starting to leak out of my optics.

Thundercracker kissed me. "Don't listen to that idiot. Look at me, Star." I slowly did so. "I love you. You and Skywarp are my everything. No matter what he or anyone else says won't change that. They're just jealous that I'm the lucky one who trined you two. Understand?"

I slowly nodded, then reached out for a hug. He hugged me firmly, kissing me on the cheekplates.

"Eat something. At least a little bit. Then you can go to recharge."

"Yes, sir." I said barely louder than a whisper.

Zephyr sat beside me and hugged me. I held both my daughters close before finally managing to get myself to drink some energon. After I had refueled I snuggled against my trineleader and eventually fell in recharge, feeling safe in his arms.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I onlined, refueled Dawn, annoyed Thundercracker with kisses, and went to talk to Borealis about sparklings. Skywarp grabbed some energon and left with Storm to visit his creators. A bit after that Thundercracker came over to me.

"Hey, sexy." He kissed me on the lip plates.

"Hey, yourself." I fluttered my wings.

"I'm going to head out and see some of my brothers. The one with the half trine I told you about? His sparkling was born the other orbital cycle so I'm going to help him out. Harder on them because there's only two, not three." He kissed me again. "Have fun with carrier. Call if you need me."

"I will." I smiled at him. "Borealis and I will make you something."

"I'm excited." I kissed me on the lip plates once more. "Behave. That goes for you, too." He pecked a kiss to Dawn's cheekplates. "And you." He pointed at Zephyr, knowing better than to try to show affection to her.

"Hmm." Zephyr grunted.

I waved Thundercracker off and returned to chatting to Borealis. We just hung out, laughed, and had a good time until a joor later when we heard loud clacking of thruster heels. Too large to be Gale's. My wings lowered, suddenly very nervous.

"I thought you were at work?" Borealis asked when Steelwing entered the room.

"I was." He grunted. "But I left early because I don't trust this harlot." He gestured at me.

Borealis kept her mouth shut, knowing better than to speak against him. "Well, Starscream and I are about to make some energon cakes. And with your permission maybe we could do some shopping for the little ones."

"You're not going anywhere with this vermin." Steelwing snarled, jabbing a digit at me. "I rather he didn't touch my energon either. Might slip some of his circuit boosters in it."

I swallowed, wanting my trineleader to come home and hug me.

Borealis remained silent. "Yes, sir." She finally said softly. "What would you have us do?"

"You can make your cake." He grunted before turning to me. "And you can go to hell."

"Sir, please, there's no need to be hostile." I said nervously. "I-I made a mistake I won't make again. I will never-"

"I don't want to hear anything from you." He snapped.

"I'm sorry…" I practically whispered, coolant pooling in my optics.

"Are you crying? Seriously?" He leaned closer to me. "You are the most pathetic and useless Seeker I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. I can't believe my son actually wanted you. But I guess he only saw your skinny frame and smelled you in heat so thought of nothing else."

"Steelwing, not in front of the sparklings." Borealis said gently.

"And you better watch it, Borealis, or else I'll give you a whipping in front of those damn sparklings." He barked.

"Yes, sir." Borealis said in the same vocalizer, her spirit beaten out of her long ago.

"Hey! Don't talk to grandcarrier like that, you fragfaced, waste-eater!" Zephyr shouted, stomping forward, her wings flared and optics narrowed.

"Zephyr, don't." I said softly.

"You obviously taught her to act like an uncivilized ruffian." Steelwing grunted at me.

"Leave my carrier and grandcarrier alone and just… Go die in a pile of slag!" She screamed.

"Sweetspark, please." I tried again, reaching for her slowly.

"No, carrier! If you won't stand up for yourself _I_ will!" She then turned and kicked Steelwing's leg. "I HATE YOU!"

I picked up my daughter and quickly pulled onto my lap, holding her firmly as she struggled. I kept my wings low, looking down, trying to be as submissive as possible.

"LET ME GO!" She cried, still struggling to get away.

"Thundercracker should have never trined you, let alone breed with you." Steelwing continued. "You created a beast rather than a well behaved Seekerlet." He just grunted as I did my best to hide my growing anger. But then he just had to keep running that mouth of his. "Should had ripped her out of you. Now he has a brat he'll have to be dealing with until she becomes like her carrier with a Syk addiction and whores herself out to grounders."

I did something stupid. But, I'm a carrier, and this carrier loves his sparklings more than keeping myself alive. I would die for them without hesitation. My femmlings are my entire world and always will be. So, while what I did was beyond stupid, I am still proud that I didn't just sit there and let him say such things about _my_ princess.

I shoved Zephyr off my lap, and with my unusual speed I leaped up, tackled Steelwing to the ground, and started to tear at his chestplates. Oh, did I want to kill him. But, he's fragging strong. Really strong. And I quickly found myself grabbed, slammed against the floor, and him on top of me. I only saw those glowing, red optics glaring daggers, bullets, lasers, bombs, nukes, everything lethal in the galaxy into my very spark. I knew I was dead. But at least I would die defending my daughter's honor.

"Borealis, lock the sparklings in with you and do not leave." Steelwing growled.

"Come here." Borealis grabbed Zephyr and yanked her in the berthroom before shutting the door and locking it.

Steelwing waited until the door was locked before grasping my neck, standing up, and dragging me along with him. I grasped at his wrist, intakes quickening, terrified of what was going to happen to me.

He took me to his berthroom and threw me against his berth. I quickly sat up and tried scooting away, but he grabbed my arm and held me in place.

"Hold still." He growled, grabbing at the side of my helm where my commlink was.

"No! Stop!" I struggled against him, trembling so hard making it difficult to grab anything. "Ah!" I cried out when he punched my faceplates.

He slammed my face against the berthtop and pressed his weight down on my helm, making sure I couldn't move. I was sobbing, submitting as he tore at my commlink, deactivating it. I knew it was because he didn't want me to call Thundercracker or my sire for help. Steelwing might be a brute, but he's not stupid.

Once he was done he forced me to sit up, then got his faceplates in mine. "You are the most disrespectful, disobedient, untrained, spoiled-rotten, miserable, useless Seeker that has probably ever existed. You are a disgrace to our kind. You're a disgrace to the Cybertronian species. And you bring only dishonor to my son and my family. I hate you and wish you were dead. But, my son wants to keep you around. So if you must stay than you will at least be trained. And if he won't train you, _I will_." His wings only flared more, and the death in his optics glowed brighter.

I was so scared I couldn't speak at first. "P-please, sir… I-I-I-" I stuttered, trembling so hard.

He slapped me across my faceplates, causing me to yelp. "Do not utter a sound when you are disciplined." He snapped, slapping me again, but I couldn't help by whimper. "Stop crying."

"I-I-I c-c-AH!" I yelped when he punched me.

He stormed over to a wall where all kinds of energon whips, crops, tawses, switches, metal cables, chains, manacles, gags, blindfolds, and other very nasty things for punishing subordinates hung. He grabbed a metal cable and approached me.

"Stand up." He ordered harshly.

"Y-you have n-no-AH!" I screamed when he lashed me across my face, it hurting far worse than any punch or lash on the aft. I tried scooting away, desperate to escape, but he only grabbed me, yanked me off the berth, and onto the floor.

"GET UP!" He shouted, lashing over my wings.

"AHH!" I screamed, trying to get up, but was only lashed again and again.

"I ordered you to stand!" He continued beating me.

"STOP! AHHH!" I shrieked, turning over, my arms trying to block the blows, but he just struck them too.

He finally grabbed me and yanked me to my peds. I was shaking so hard, energon leaking from my olfactory sensor, my mouth, wings, and aft already. And my bad orbital cycle barely had begun.

"Hold out your servos." He snapped.

I swallowed. "P-please-AH!" I jumped back when he lashed me across my thighs.

"Servos, _out_." He snarled with gritted denta.

I was crying, shaking so hard, but I slowly held out my servos.

"Palms facing up. Keep them there." His wings flicked. "Your servos are never to block when you are being punished. If you want them to be struck, fine. They shall be." He then lashed my servos as hard as he could with the cable.

"AHHHHHHH!" I shrieked, jerking them back as I quickly jumped away. "P-please, no more!" I begged.

"I'm not done with them." He growled. I glanced at the locked door, but he only lashed my aft. "OUT!"

I cried pitifully as I held out my servos, only for them to be lashed. I instinctively pulled them away, but he kept making me hold them out and hitting my aft whenever I pulled them in. Finally, after nearly thirty lashes on my servos he stopped when I was able to keep them out for three consecutive lashes.

"Good. You actually can be trained." He smirked cruelly.

I pulled my servos close, unable to feel them, energon leaking from them. I could barely even move them from how damaged they were.

"Stand at attention." He commanded.

I swallowed, wiping at my optics before starting to do so. He lashed my aft, causing me to jump back with a cry.

"When you are given an order you must obey it instantly!" He snapped. "STAND AT ATTENTION!"

I quickly did so, trying to stop my sobs, but they kept coming. Steelwing flicked his wings.

"Seekers do not cry." He lashed my aft.

"Ahh!" I leaped back, wings lowering again as I covered my rear with my still numb servos.

"Did I say you could move? Stand at attention and do not move!"

I started to cry harder again as I stepped back where I was and resumed being at attention. I couldn't stop crying though, and my wings were trembling. I cried when I got another lash and jumped again.

Steelwing grabbed me, and pushed me against the berthpost. "Grab onto it." He snapped. "You won't obey the simplest of commands then you are punished."

I sobbed loudly as I grabbed the post, shaking pathetically. He was worse than Thundercracker. He hit harder and faster, and all I could do was jump and scream. It was so awful I leaped out of the way, letting go of the post to take several steps back.

"Get back in place!" He barked.

"PLEASE!" I begged desperately. "I-I can't take it!"

"Fine, you'll get extra. GET BACK AGAINST THAT POST!" He pointed with the cable.

"Steelwing, PLEASE!"

"FIFTY LASHES!"

"I-I can'r!"

"SEVENTY!"

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!"

"A HUNDRED! Want to make it more?!"

I was crying so hard, shaking my helm. I did go back and grab that post, screaming from each brutal lash. He hit my aft, thighs, lower back, and wings. He tore me open, my backside leaking energon from all over.

I felt like I was going to faint by the time he stopped.

"Stand at attention." He snapped.

I was bawling, just wanting my trineleader. I was too scared to continue fighting Steelwing, so I stood at attention, still crying and trembling.

"Stay still." He lashed my aft.

"Ah!" I jumped, but tried to stay in position.

Steelwing stomped to the door and opened it. "Gale! Get in here!"

Gale soon arrived, wings low. "Yes, sir."

"Stand at attention by the sparkling."

Gale obediently did so, standing at attention in front of me.

"Observe, prince." Steelwing sneered. " _This_ is a trained Seeker."

He then lashed Gale across the aft. Gale stayed in position, he remained silent, only his optics dimming and jaw clenching revealing his suffering. I swallowed, unable to imagine how much of this hell he and Borealis had to go through to become like that.

Steelwing then stepped behind me. "Stay at attention." He ordered before lashing me across my already destroyed aft.

"AH!" I jumped, clenching my fist, but got back into position.

"Again." He lashed me, and I again cried and jumped, but got back into position.

And he kept doing this to me. It took nearly a joor and several hundred lashes later before I finally was able to take a lash and not make a sound nor move from it. I couldn't stop the coolant from leaking from my optics, though.

"Better. Much better." He smiled at his handiwork. "Let's work on your other commands, prince."

"Please, m-may I-Nrrgh!" I grit my denta when my aft was lashed again, remaining as still as I could.

"Speak only when spoken to." He commanded. I stayed at attention, silently begging Thundercracker to get home already. "Stand on one ped."

"Sir? Ahh!" I yelped when he lashed me right on my codpiece, but I forced myself to not move too much.

"Your job is not to question nor speak to the trineleader. You obey your superiors. Stand on one ped."

I felt so humiliated. I did so, the War Academy not anywhere near this strict. He just eyed me, making sure I would stay that way.

"Stand on the other one now."

I obeyed, feeling weak from energon loss, crying, and the beating. But I couldn't risk making him want to hurt me more. I wouldn't be able to get away from him and pissing him off just meant more pain.

"Get on your knees."

I painfully did so, still staying at attention best I could. He just smirked.

"Get on all fours." I swallowed, obeying. "Lick the floor."

I looked up at him. "Sir, this is u-unnec-Aoooow!" I yelped when he used the cable like a whip to lash my back. Coolant blinded me as I lowered myself and licked that disgusting floor. I just felt sick and worried how much of this poor Gale and Borealis had to go through before they were broken.

"Good." He picked up an energon whip. "Let's do some more tricks.

I won't go into details of the other things he did to me. What he forced me to do. I was barely able to get myself to write this much of it. There was nothing sexual, I will confirm that. But it was all humiliating, painful, and just… It's difficult to think about. I had to take many breaks from even writing this part of my story.

Anyway, he used several things on me. Whips, cables, crops, tawses, switches… He "trained" me how to take beatings, how to obey, how to ask to be punished, how to thank for being punished, how to properly offer chains and a whip to my trineleader, and… other things. And this continued all orbital cycle. By the end of it I was dented all over. Every part of my frame had been struck, lashed, torn apart, energon leaking… It hurt all over.

My daughters were kept locked in Borealis' room. I imagine they heard my screams all orbital cycle. But Zephyr doesn't speak of this orbital cycle ever so I won't even bother asking her.

It was in the evening, I was lying on Steelwing's berth, propped by my elbows, being "trained" to lie obediently and silently as I was flogged. I had to look ahead, not move, not make a sound. Just be a statue as I was hurt.

The door was left open, Steelwing having made me go out of the rooms for some… things. As I lied there, sobbing softly, trying to control myself, feeling the burning lash striking my backside, I heard the most beautiful vocalizer ever.

"I'm back! Starscream, I got something for you, love!"

Despite having been "trained" all orbital cycle to stay and behave, the moment I heard my trineleader I knew I was safe. I leaped up, shoved Steelwing out of my way, and bolted. Every step was absolute hell, but I fought past the pain, needing to get to my trineleader. I ran into the living room and into his arms, clutching him desperately, as if I would die if I let go. And then I just let it out. All of my suppressed emotions flooded out until I lost complete control of myself. I screamed, I bawled my absolute spark out, I blabbered nonsense, and I just clung to him like my life depended on it.

"Star, Star, Starscream!" Thundercracker tried to calm me down, worried about how frantic I was. He managed to pry me off enough to hold me back and study my beaten frame. I kept fighting him, desperate to cling to him again. His optics narrowed, engine growled dangerously, and his wings flared. He turned me around and looked at my devastated backside, and his unholy fury emanated like a burning fire from his being.

I managed to turn back around and hug him, screaming and bawling into his chassis. He gently hugged me, being careful of my wounds.

"Just cry. Shhh, shhh, I'm here. He will never touch you again." He said firmly, lovingly, murderously. And, damn, I knew he meant it with how he said it. "I love you. I'm sorry. Shhh, shhh, I'm going to handle this." He forced my chin up and kissed my cheekplates. "You need to let go of me, now."

I shook my helm and held him even tighter. He stroked my backplates, but stopped when he heard me whimpering from the pain even that brought me.

"Star…"

"P-please don't l-eave me!" I shouted, terrified about being hurt again.

"Star, hey, Star," He grasped my shoulders and forced me off him. "Look at me." He snapped, then spoke calmly once I did. "He's not going to touch you. I'm going to tear off his limbs and shove them down his throat. But you need to let go of me for that."

"I-I'm scared, Th-Thundercra-"

"I know you are. I know he hurt you beyond what is even… Let your trineleader protect you."

I finally slowly nodded. "H-he ins-sulted our daughter. H-he said sh-she would b-be a d-drug addict a-and whore l-like me."

His wings flicked. "Where is that miserable slagheap." He growled.

"I'm right here."

I was engulfed with fear. I clung to Thundercracker, shaking so hard, my bawling renewing. Thundercracker just turned to face his sire, wings flaring, a protective arm wrapped around my abused body.

"I ought to kill you for this." My trineleader snarled.

"I was training that brat of yours. I made some improvements with him in just a few joors. All it takes is discipline and patience." He said so calmly, as if he were speaking about fixing a bad roof or something.

"We're leaving." Thundercracker snapped. "Where are my daughters?"

"With your carrier."

Thundercracker started forward, but I was too scared to go near Steelwing. He picked me up bridal style instead, which hurt, and carried my trembling frame.

"And there you go pampering and giving in to him." Steelwing groused. "This is why he's an addict and fragging that shuttle."

"Shut up, you idiot." Thundercracker flicked his wings as he passed, taking me to his carrier's quarters.

"Watch how you speak to me, Thundercracker. I'm still your sire!"

"After what you just did to my brother? Forget about ever hearing from me again or seeing my creations." Thundercracker snapped.

"I'll still see you when you visit your carrier or whenever you come crawling back to me when that whore finally pisses you off enough."

Thundercracker tapped the door and Borealis soon opened it. "Zephyr, grab your things. We're leaving."

Zephyr's optics widened when she saw me. Her optics filled with static, but she knew her sire was taking us away. She picked up her sister and walked out of the room to get her things.

"Would you like me to get the med kit?" Borealis asked Thundercracker.

"Don't waste our medical supplies on the whore." Steelwing spat.

And that was it for Thundercracker. He set me down on the berth, then in one fluent motion spun around and punched Steelwing right in his ugly mouth. It was such a beautiful thing to witness. I love my trineleader beyond words.

"Gah!" Steelwing stumbled back, wings flicking as he held his jaw. "How dare you strike me! Your sire!"

"That has no meaning to me when you attack my trinemates!" Thundercracker shouted.

"I was _punishing_ it!"

"Speak ill of him one more time…" He jabbed a digit at his sire's chestplates, denta clenched.

"I speak only the truth about that whoring brat."

"ARGH!" Thundercracker punched him again, and again, and again.

Steelwing fought back, the two trineleaders soon wrestling, tearing at each others plates, kicking, biting, trying to rip off limbs, and spilling energon. Furniture was knocked over, appliances used as weapons, and all the savagery Seekers are known for in combat unleashed.

Thundercracker pinned Steelwing down, holding his wrists as he sat on him. Their engines growling, torn wings flicking, and snarling with such hatred at each other.

"Kill him, sire! Tear his spark out!" Zephyr shouted from where she stood, having watched it all.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Stay the hell away from my trine." He growled before releasing his sire and standing up. He picked me up and carried me away, past Steelwing, and to the room we had been staying in. He set me on the berth as he quickly subspaced our stuff, picked me back up, and led our daughters onto the balcony.

"You always were the weakest of my sons." Steelwing continued, standing in the doorway, holding his nearly severed shoulder. "Enjoy the ITVs that whore gives you."

Thundercracker flared his wings as he ignored his sire, putting on the harness, then helping his daughters put on theirs. Dawn wanted to cry, trembling as she clung to her sister.

"It's alright, princess." Thundercracker said softly to her. "Sire is getting you away from here. I'll protect you from all who would harm you." He kissed her on the cheekplates, then looked at me. "Can you fly?"

"I-I don't know." I was still trembling myself.

"I'll carry you."

"Just let it fall to its death!" Steelwing could never shut up.

Thundercracker's sonic boom generator started to hum. I quickly cupped his face and made him look at me.

"Don't. Y-you'll only scare our daughters."

It died down. Instead, he kissed me passionately on the lip plates, making sure it was obvious his glossa was going into my mouth. Despite how sore I was, I couldn't help but flutter my wings. I love this Seeker so much. He's the absolute best.

As he kissed me, one servo held my chin as the other he held up towards his sire, flipping a very rude Vosian gesture at him. If I wasn't in so much pain and dying I would scream for him to frag me right then and there.

My trineleader released me, transformed, and sat on his landing gear. I helped our daughters climb onto him, buckled the harnesses together, ensuring they couldn't fall off their sire, then got on myself. Thundercracker took off, flying towards the hospital. I held tightly to the harness on him, feeling so dizzy like I was about to fall off.

He soon landed outside the hospital, and I helped get the Seekerlets off him. He transformed, picked me up, and carried me inside. It wasn't long before I was on a medberth and saw to by several nurses. Thundercracker never left me. He sat beside me, holding my servo, both our daughters on his lap. It took some time before the nurses fixed all my tears, stopped the leaking, and covered me with healing slabs.

I lied there, on several pain dampeners and an energon drip, just watching my trineleader and daughters.

"Skywarp says he's on his way. He's visiting his sire now." Thundercracker said softly, obviously tired from the fight and all the stress. He still hadn't seen to his own wounds.

"What did you get me?" I blurted out.

"Hmm?"

"When you got back at your creators'… You said you had gotten something for me."

"Oh, right!" He faintly smiled as he reached into a subspace pocket. "I hope you like it."

He then produced a large, beautiful bouquet of crystal flowers, all of them matching my color scheme. My wings fluttered as I took them.

"I love them." I smiled.

"I went out to the fields after seeing my brothers and picked them for you and Warp. I made one for him, too. Read the card."

I took the card he had tied to them and read it. "To my beautiful trinemate and carrier to my little princesses. It's been a while since I have given you flowers, so I knew I had to change that. I love you and will always be there for you. Love, Thundercracker." Coolant pooled in my optics as I fell in love with him a billion times over.

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheekplates. "Like it?"

I nodded. "I love it." I looked at him. "I love you."

His smile grew. "I love you more." He kissed me lovingly, gently on the lip plates, his engine purring.

I purred mine back, my optics offline, savoring this moment with my awesome, amazing, caring, loving trineleader. I don't care what anyone says about him. He's the best trineleader ever and I would never leave him. No abuser would give flowers to their victim! Of course not! I was his. All his. He could have me however he wanted to. Because he loved me so much and I loved him.

I was such an ignorant, naïve person back then…

* * *

 **Postpartum depression is very serious. You usually get it if you are already depressed or stressed during pregnancy. The fact that so many breeding mates of Skycutter's get it tells you things are not right with his harem. I go into more details of how bad postpartum depression is in my story Illicitus.**

 **Skycutter is kinky, okay. We won't question is comment about sticking a ped in it.**

 **Showing how Skycutter and his trinemates interacted is important for future chapters! Fare is the bottom of the trine and is quite submissive. Turbine is more dominant and a bit of a bully.**

 **Thundercracker doesn't see Star's drug problem as being a cry for help. Just being rebellious.**

 **Skyfire is the sweetest potato. We all need a potato Skyfire in our life. :3**

 **Happy, excited Seekers are wiggle butts like dogs. Speaking of, my dog has the BEST wiggle butt and I pity all of you who don't come home to it. Widdle potato wiggling her booty. :P**

 **Thundercracker does care for his trine. He's willing to never speak to his sire again and beat the shit out of his sire in order to care for and protect his trine and babies. He's not a total bad guy! He's loving and caring, he just believes these lies he's been forced to believe. But, that doesn't mean there's no hope for him!**

 **This chapter had some... personal experiences in it. I'm going to draw something and take a little break before starting the next chapter.**

 **Please FAVE, COMMENT, ASK QUESTIONS, and SHARE! I love hearing your thoughts! :)**


	12. I Kissed a Shuttle, and I Liked It

**Chapter 12**

I didn't stay in the hospital for too long. After a few joors Thundercracker took us all to the palace. I managed to fly myself, but Thundercracker had to carry our daughters. I transformed and landed on the balcony outside carrier's room, then helped get the sparklings off my brothers.

A guard let us in, recognizing me as a prince.

"Carrier?" I called when we entered her room.

"The hell happened to you?" Hellfire asked, his wings perking as he gave me a look. Hellfire at this time was 14 stellar cycles old. Overcast was 19 stellar cycles, and Streamline was 7 or 8. I can't recall if she had her emergence cycle or yet during this event.

"I was attacked. Where's carrier?"

"She's with Uncle Hypersonic getting it in the aft."

I flicked my wings. "Don't speak about carrier like that."

"Well, sire is off on some slagging political thing of his. Like he always does when not having an orgy. So, as the mech of this vicinity, I demand you pay a toll." He smirked as he held out a servo.

"How about I kick your aft." I growled my engine.

"I'm not scared of you, Screamer."

Skywarp giggled. "Screamer. I like that one."

I rolled my optics. "Fine, we'll wait here for carrier or sire to return. Where's Stream?"

"With halfers."

"Don't call our siblings that. We're all the same family." I sat on the couch, offlining my optics. I missed when I would just sit on this couch watching cartoons with Nacreous, Quickstrike, Rainstorm, and carrier. Thundercracker sat beside me, and Skywarp took Storm into the washroom to clean his waste tank. My daughters got onto my lap. "Hellfire, make yourself of use and get your favorite brother some energon."

"You're not my favorite." He grunted.

"Who is then? It's me or Nacreous and you barely know him."

"I have a hundred other brothers."

"So do I. Well, you're _my_ favorite." I fluttered my wings.

"Uh huh." Hellfire hopped off the couch and went to the door. "I'll find carrier. Don't touch my stuff." He then walked out.

The little, pit-spawned hellion did return with carrier a breem later. She certainly looked like she had a swell time with Uncle Hyperion…

"What are you doing here? Are you alright?" She asked worriedly as she sat beside me.

"I was attacked." I said softly. "Thundercracker saved me."

"Who attacked you, sweetspark?" Her optics narrowed. "I'll tear them apart."

I looked over at Thundercracker, not sure if I should say. He didn't seem sure himself if we should say or not. I just vented a sigh and hugged my trineleader. I felt save with him and with carrier.

"I'll inform your sire to come speak to you when he arrives." She said as she stroked my arm.

It was late that night before that happened. Carrier told him to see me when he arrived, and he came straight to me. He was still wearing his full royal garb, and his trinemates were right behind him. They remained outside of the room when he entered, not allowed to be near where the breeding mates recharged.

"What happened?" He inquired, studying my beaten frame.

I glanced at Thundercracker before speaking. "I was attacked, sir."

"By whom?"

I hesitated. Before I could answer, Thundercracker spoke for me.

"My sire, Steelwing, punished him… Repeatedly and harshly in order to train him." He answered calmly. "I had to take Starscream to the hospital to see to his injuries."

"What exactly did he do and what provoked it?"

I had been trying to control my emotions since leaving the hospital. But, thinking about the attack when sire asked that…. It flooded back and I soon found myself sobbing as coolant poured out of my optics.

"H-he insulted Z-Zephyr. S-said she would b-be a whore l-like me a-and do d-drugs. I-I was pissed and I-I attacked him. B-but he's stronger than me a-and he… He locked me i-in his r-room and used… H-he beat m-me w-with a cable, whip, tawse… Other things…. A-and forced m-me to do humiliating a-acts i-in order t-to train m-me to be obedient a-and not r-react when I-I was hurt. A-and h-he did it for j-joors until Th-Thunder finally got back a-and saved me."

Sire's expression never changed, but his wings hiked. "I'll handle this. I will have a room prepared for you and you will spend the night in the palace."

"Thank you, sir." Thundercracker said as he hugged me close.

"Oh, don't thank me yet." He palmed the door open. "Guard, prepare a guest room and bring energon to it. I want it secured as well."

"As you command." The guard inclined his helm before walking off.

"I'll speak to you tomorrow, then, Starscream."

I slowly nodded. "Okay… Thanks, sire."

Sire left, his trinemates following him in formation. It wasn't long before a guard took us to the prepared room and we got settled. The Seekerlets refueled then cuddled on a berth while I and my trinemates snuggled on the other berth. I lied in the middle, my brothers holding me close. I felt safe in their arms and knowing there were guards posted outside the door.

Despite feeling safe in Thundercracker's strong arms, I still onlined several times during the night from night terrors of Steelwing hurting me. I softly cried, trembling. Skywarp never onlined, but Thundercracker did each time, somehow just knowing I was online and needing him. He kissed me and comforted me until I could fall back into recharge. He did this every time, not getting upset at all at me. He just loved and took care of me, being loving, protective Thundercracker. The trineleader I needed.

We recharged in, onlining late the next morning. We refueled the Seekerlets, ate cubes ourselves, and I just sat on Thundercracker's lap, curling into him as he sat on the couch. I didn't want him to leave me. As long as he was there I knew I was safe.

It wasn't until the afternoon that a guard came to the door. Skywarp opened it and allowed him in.

"Prince Starscream." He inclined his helm to me in respect. "Alpha Skycutter requests your presence in the courtyard. You and your trinemates, but advises to leave the younglings behind with Breeding Mate Galaxy."

"For what reason does my sire summon me?" I inquired.

"He ordered me not to inform you in hopes of it being a surprise, my lord."

I looked at Thundercracker. "We probably should go."

"Alright, we'll go." He grunted. "Where's this Galaxy?"

"Aunt Galaxy is a couple of levels up. I'll tale you to her."

I led my trine to Aunt Galaxy's room and dropped the younglings off with her. We then flew to the courtyard, which is the central plaza of Vos. The palace is in the center of the city, the courtyard of it is also the plaza. It is here that statues of the previous Alphas stand, the entrance to the Seeker catacombs sits, and where public speeches, humiliations, and other events are held. It also has a large pool with a water fountain, which I one time fell in and needed to be rescued… I was 6 stellar cycles old at the time.

Thundercracker took us to the stage where a crowd of Seekers were already gathering around. He held our servos to ensure we didn't get separated as we made our way through it. He got us to the front, and all I saw were royal guards along the stage, and surrounding the edge of the crowd. Sire was on the stage, his trinemates with him.

"There you are."

I perked my wings as carrier walked over. "What is he up to?" I inquired of her.

"Public humiliation." She replied, crossing her arms as she stood next to me.

I perked my wings, pretty sure I knew the moron that sire was about to tear apart.

Sire noticed me, then gestured to the guards standing at the side of the stage. They parted and soon two guards walked onto the stage leading a manacled Steelwing between them. My wings lowered, seeing him making me suddenly nervous. I stood slightly behind Thundercracker, hugging him, hiding behind his intimidating form. He stroked my arm, his optics never leaving what was happening on the stage.

The guards led Steelwing to the front, allowing the crowd to see his pissed face. And, mech, was he pissed! Thundercracker had a slight smirk on his faceplates.

"My Seekers!" Sire addressed the crowd. "On this lovely orbital cycle we gather here to bear witness to the public humiliation and punishment of a trineleader who attacked, beat, insulted, and threatened a submissive who was not his own, nor was he given permission from the trineleader to discipline this submissive. Worse still, this submissive he attacked, humiliated, and ended up having to be hospitalized was one of my own creations!"

I shrunk some when the crowd started to boo and jeer. I knew they weren't mad at me, but the angry shouts all around me were still terrifying and had me very anxious. I just held onto my trineleader. I was safe so long as he was there.

Sire gave a gesture to the guards, and they took Steelwing to the post in the center of the stage. His arms were lifted up, the manacles removed, and he was forced to practically hug the post as his wrists were shackled to it. Then his ankles tied at the base, his back facing the crowd. The guards then walked off the stage.

Sire took a multi-tailed energon whip, his favorite weapon of choice for public punishments, and approached Steelwing. "I'm a little disappointed in the aft. Thought there would be a bit more to hit there!" Sire smirked, eliciting some dry chuckles from the crowd. "Seeker Steelwing of Vos, you are being punished for disobeying Seeker law and for attacking one of my creations. May Primus have mercy on you because I certainly am not."

Even though I couldn't see Steelwing's face, I new he was grimacing. He held his wings up proudly still, remaining silent. Sire let the tails of the whip slip through his digits as he held the whip out. Then, he lashed it across Steelwing's wings. Steelwing jerked, and grit his denta, but remained silent. Sire kept lashing him on his wings, backplates, aft, and thighs. The crowd cheered, jeered, and demanded sire to hit harder, faster, and to not stop.

It was quite a few lashes in before Steelwing started to become vocal. At first it was just grunts and growls, but they soon became cries of pain. It was absolutely beautiful and I wish I recorded it for my audio receptors to listen to again and again, but, alas, I didn't think ahead.

It was half a breem into the flogging when Borealis appeared with Gale beside us. Borealis hugged Thundercracker, her wings low and coolant in her optics. Despite my absolute hatred for Steelwing, I knew she was devoted to her trineleader and loved him. Despite how much he hurt her and Gale. But then again, I loved my trineleader despite how much he hurt me and Skywarp…

I shook my helm, banishing such a treacherous thought from my processor. I hugged my trineleader tighter, not wanting to ever think of him being bad to me again. He loved me, and I loved him. I wouldn't be able to survive without him caring for and protecting me. I could never fight a strong Seeker like Steelwing! I was little, weak, scared of my own shadow, and all I ever did was cry and screw up everything. I would always be a submissive bottom.

Thundercracker comforted his carrier and me. I was feeling alright, somewhat, until I had the most terrifying thought: What if Steelwing came after me for revenge?

I started to tremble as I clutched Thundercracker harder. He noticed the change and turned to me.

"What's wrong?" He inquired.

"I'm scared…" I said quietly, wings drooping.

"Don't be. I'm here." He kissed me on the lip plates, stroking my arm as he held me close to him. "Do you want to leave?"

Of how much I was enjoying seeing Steelwing's backside look like a bunch of cybercats clawed at it, I needed to get away from this crowd. I nodded.

"Okay, let's go." He turned to his carrier. "Starscream wants to go. Will you be alright?"

"I-I think so." She said softly, wiping her optics with a cloth. "We'll take him to the hospital after this and… See what he commands after that."

"Be careful. He's going to be beyond pissed once freed. Especially if he's given a dominating." Thundercracker grunted before grabbing mine and Skywarp's servos and pulling us away.

We followed him through the crowd until we were out. He glanced back, wings perking, then flicked them after a moment.

"Let's go." He muttered before transforming and flying off.

We transformed and followed, flying up to the palace.

* * *

Well, Steelwing did get a dominating, as I was later told. Never had been spiked before so apparently he jumped quite a bit when he got penetrated. Wuss. Anyway, I fussed a lot to Thundercracker about going home, so he had us spend one more night at the palace before taking us back to Iacon. I did recharge better in our own apartment, on Thundercracker's berth, held snugly in his strong arms. I was safe with my trineleader.

After a few orbital cycles Thundercracker's vacation from work was over and he had to leave us. I did not take this news well.

"Starscream, I have to go to work." Thundercracker sighed, trying to push me off him.

"Please, don't leave me!" I pathetically cried as I clung to him as if my life depended on it. I just knew Steelwing was hiding in the bushes somewhere outside waiting for Thundercracker to leave so he could enact his revenge!

"Starscream… Love, sweetspark… Primus…" Thundercracker rubbed over his faceplates, exasperated with me, but not having reached the point of just giving me an aft beating yet. "My sire is not going to get you. You're safe here. You know that if my sire were to appear you just fly away. You can easily out fly him. You're really fast. And you just hide at a safe place, call me, and I will come beat the slag out of my sire. Or Skywarp can teleport you somewhere."

"C-can't I come with you?!" I asked, coolant leaking down my cheekplates.

"Star… Security is tight. I guard senators, now. They would never allow me to bring anyone in without a passcard."

"P-please, don't leave me!" I kept crying.

Thundercracker sighed. "Skywarp, call the shuttle and give me the communicator."

"Sure." Skywarp grabbed the communicator and made the call before handing it to Thundercracker, who had a very hard time walking over with me clinging to him.

::Hey, Starscream!:: Skyfire's vocalizer sounded so cheerily.

"This is his trineleader." Thundercracker grunted, not sounding so cheerily. "Get your oversized, useless aft to my apartment ASAP. You will be briefed upon arrival. Seeker Thundercracker out." He then hung up and tossed the communicator to Skywarp, who caught it. "Now…. We wait." He grumbled, feebly trying to get me to let go of him.

"Maybe we should get him inebriated?" Skywarp suggested.

"No, he needs to learn." Thundercracker replied, getting me off of him enough that he could sit on the couch. He flicked his wings when I was on him instantly, still clinging to him like some unwanted parasite.

Skyfire eventually arrived and Skywarp let him in.

"What's going on that you of all people called me?" He demanded as he walked over.

"Sit down." Thundercracker patted the spot next to him.

Skyfire raised an optical ridge. "Why?"

"Just do it!" Thundercracker snapped, his fuse burning shorter.

Skyfire reluctantly did so, watching me. Thundercracker grabbed me, wrestling with me as I fought to cling to him.

"Starscream, let go." He growled, but I didn't. "I'm about to-Starscream!" I only whimpered, starting to renew my crying. He turned me over enough and gave me a couple of very hard smacks on my aft. I loosened my grip enough that he was able to push me off him and onto Skyfire's lap.

"Hold him." Thundercracker ordered.

Skyfire quickly hugged me close. "What's wrong with him?"

"He was attacked by my sire while we were in Vos and now feels like if I'm gone he'll be attacked again." Thundercracker explained as he stood up. "I need to go to work so can't stay with him. Just… watch him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"P-please, Thunder!" I wailed pathetically, trying to get free of Skyfire's vice-like hug of death.

"I'll see you later, Starscream." He grabbed my wrists and held them down as he kissed me on the lip plates. "Stay in the apartment. You're safe." He let me go as he backed off, then kissed Skywarp goodbye. "Watch them both. You're in charge."

Skywarp giggled. "Awesome."

Thundercracker quickly left, running late enough. I bawled like a sparkling who didn't get the toy they wanted once the door closed behind him. I struggled to get free for a few kliks before giving up and resigning myself to being stuck with Skyfire. I never looked away from the door, though. Either Thundercracker or Steelwing would come through it and I had to be prepared for which.

"So, what happened, exactly?" Skyfire inquired, petting my helm.

"Steelwing insulted Zephyr and Starscream attacked him. I was visiting my creators and Thundercracker had gone to see his brothers. So, Scree was alone. Steelwing over powered him and decided to train him. Which is just a fancy way of saying he beat the living slag out of Starscream for joors straight until Starscream listened to commands like a beaten turbofox. Like, he used a metal cable, whip, metal rod, and a lot of very painful slag on him all orbital cycle until Thundercracker returned. TC attacked his sire before getting Star and the Seekerlets away from there. Star had to be hospitalized for a while and put on a drip because he lost so much energon. But, Skycutter punished Steelwing with a public flogging and dominating, so… Now Star thinks he'll return for revenge. Which he won't but… It's Starscream."

Skyfire looked down at me, horrified that I had gone through that. I wiped at my optics, having thought about what had happened to me.

"I'm sorry, Starscream." Skyfire said softly. "If I was there I would have beaten that aft up."

Skywarp chuckled. "You could never fight a Seeker."

"If I had to defend Starscream from one I would."

"You're a shuttle."

"Yeah, I am. That doesn't mean I couldn't fight back."

"Shuttles are fat and slow."

"Skywarp, no offense, but compared to me in strength… You're quite pathetic."

"Yeah? Arm wrestling!" Skywarp held his arm out to Skyfire.

Skyfire rolled his optics and placed his elbow on the table before him. Skywarp jumped to the other side, put his elbow down, and grasped Skyfire's servo.

"On three." Skyfire said. "One… Two… Three!"

"GRRGH!" Skywarp growled as he pulled, jaws clenched.

Skyfire just watched, his arm not budging at all. Skywarp kept pulling, then grabbed with both servos and pulled, then used all his bodyweight. but still Skyfire's arm did not move.

"Give up?" Skyfire smirked.

"NEVER!" Skywarp pulled as hard as he could. "ZEPHYR! Come help your uncle!"

She got up from where she was coloring at the table and ran over. She grabbed Skyfire's arm and used all her weight. Before long, even the sparklings were trying to help in some way. Mostly by grabbing Skywarp and pulling him in some direction. Still, they couldn't move Skyfire's arm.

I finally started to calm down and smile at their antics. It was a bit before Skyfire spoke again.

"Concede? He smirked.

"That's what your carrier said when I fragged her mouth!" Skywarp shouted.

"My carrier is a mech."

"He sounded like a femme when I made him scream!"

"He's a shuttle. I think it went the other way around."

"Son-of-a-whore! Dammit! Why won't you… ARGH!"

Skyfire released him and Skywarp took several steps back trying to regain his balance before ungracefully falling on his aft. The sparklings all laughed at him. Skyfire leaned back on the couch, still keeping an arm around me.

"A shuttle just beat a Seeker." He smiled.

Skywarp flicked his wings as he stood. "I let you."

Skyfire chuckled. "What else do you do for fun?"

"Frag Starscream."

"Something we can all do."

"Watch a movie." I spoke up softly.

"What movie?"

"I let the little ones decide."

"Ugh," Skywarp groaned. "If I have to watch another princess movie…."

"Princess Ziara!" Zephyr squealed, which caused the other two to also scream and jump.

Skywarp rolled his optics. I just smiled.

"Guess we're watching another princess movie." I winked at my brother. "But I get the real princesses."

* * *

The orbital cycle went smoothly by until Thundercracker returned. I leaped off Skyfire's lap, ran over, and hugged him once he entered the apartment. My wings fluttered madly as I snuggled against him. He hugged me back, then lifted my chin up.

"Hey, gorgeous." He kissed me on the lip plates slowly, gently, so lovingly. "How is my beautiful, sexy, amazing brother doing?" His other servo lowered to squeeze my aft.

"Better." I said softly. "Thank you for calling Skyfire over. He helped a lot."

"Well, he better leave now unless he wants to watch me pound into you." He kissed me again.

"The younglings are still online. We'll have to wait." I rested my helm on his chestplates. "I just want to cuddle now, anyway."

"We can cuddle." He let me go to walk over to the couch, I stayed right behind him holding his servo. "How were they? Do I need to turn them over my knee?" He asked Skyfire with a bit of a smirk. Oh, he thought punishing trinemates was such a joke at times… Aft.

Skyfire certainly didn't see it as a joke. "Everyone was perfect." He replied steadily. "We all learned how to be proper princesses as instructed by these two sweetsparks." He gestured to my daughters who were wearing their princess attire and tiaras. Even Storm was dressed as a princess. And these princesses had knives and guns. They weren't those pathetic grounder princesses requiring rescue! Oh, no, they actually were in the midst of slaying an entire army of an advanced, alien race.

"Oh?" Thundercracker perked his wings as he turned to his creations. "What did my precious daughters tell these ruffians?"

"Da-da!" Storm awkwardly got to his peds and hobbled to the couch, then tried to climb on it. Skyfire helped him up, then Storm carefully stood up and reached for his sire. "Sh-uh! Wookehd!" He held up a toy.

"Oh? Is that for me?" Thundercracker picked up his son and kissed him on the cheekplates.

Storm giggle, then took off his tiara and tried to place it on Thundercracker's helm.

"Not sure this is my color." Thunder replied as he took it and put it on his helm. "How do I look?"

Storm squealed, then wrapped his arms around his sire's neck. Thundercracker chuckled, removing the tiara and putting it back on Storm's helm.

"What about you, Dawn?" Thundercracker asked of our daughter.

"Cuhweeor gib ush painsh!" She held up her servo which she had painted with the paints we had gotten her.

"Ooh, love those colors." Thundercracker paused before turning to his eldest. "Hey, Zephyr. How are you, sweetspark?"

She ignored him, messing with her datapad.

Thundercracker exhaled heavily, but quickly hid his hurt. He forced a smile as he kissed Storm. "I love you, Storm. At least I have you and Dawn." He then turned to Skyfire. "Thank you, again, for coming at such short notice. We appreciate it."

"Anything to help Starscream." Skyfire replied.

"Well, we've bothered you enough. I'll take it from here."

Skyfire turned to me. "You alright, Star?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Sky. You really helped me." I fluttered my wings.

He smiled. "Anytime, Star." He stood up and I quickly ran over and hugged him. "See you later, then." He patted my helm.

"Yeah, see you later." I let him go and walked him to the door.

He stepped out and turned back to me. "Call me if you need me. Anything at anytime."

"You'll get me cake at 02:00?" I smiled.

"That's the exception." He winked. "I'll call you tomorrow. Recharge well!"

"You, too! Bye!" I waved him off. I watched until he had flown off, then returned to my trineleader. I hugged him, wings fluttering.

"Feel safe?" He asked me as he hugged me with one arm."

"I always do with you." I snuggled.

He kissed me. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

* * *

I kept getting better as we got back into the old routine. After nearly an orn of everything being normal and no Steelwing I finally felt safe traveling outside the apartment without Thundercracker. So, I went to go bother my dearest Skyfire.

"Whoa, is that a new truck or did you just buff your aft?"

Skyfire rolled his optics as he sat at his desk working. "I see you let yourself in. Hacking my locks as usual." He grunted.

"Nothing can separate us from each other!" I proclaimed as I bounced onto his berth.

"Don't break anything."

"Am not." I opened a box of energon goodies and began to eat them. "So," I said with my mouth full. "I shaw dish-" I stuffed more into my face. "Alert from da acuhdumy 'bout-"

"Do you have to talk with your mouth full?"

I swallowed. "A matter of fact I do." I sassed before eating more.

"Starscream, my carrier sent those."

My wings perked. "Awwww! So that's why they're so sweet! They were made with love. I do love the taste of love." I ate more.

"Put them down, Seeker." He jabbed a digit at me.

"I'll bite you."

"Star."

I put them down, flicking my wings as I did so. I pouted for a moment before fluttering my wings and falling onto my back. I scooted until my helm touched the helmboard, then I scooted around until my peds touched the wall. I pushed off it, sliding over the berth until my helm hung over the edge.

"Hey." I smiled, looking up at him.

"Hey." He ignored me.

That wouldn't do.

I reached up, err, down, and grabbed a datapad from the floor and threw it at him. It struck him in the arm with a satisfying clang.

"HEY!" He spun around to face me, optics narrowed. "What the hell is your problem?"

I purred my engine, reaching out for him. "Kitty wants attention."

"Kitty needs to play elsewhere." He grunted before turning back to his work.

"NO!" I flicked my wings, watched him for a moment, then pushed myself further over the edge until my servos could rest flat on the floor. I arched my back, peds on the berthtop, then pushed off so I could do a servo-stand. I stepped with my servos twice forward, then balanced myself on one servo, just showing off to my fat friend. I then gracefully swung my peds forward, one at a time, placed them on the ground and at the same time stood up. I skipped over, climbed onto his desk, and sat beside him, wings perking. "Can I help?"

"No, I got it."

"You got…. YOUR FACE!" I pointed at the accused faceplates.

He smirked. "You are so silly."

"I'm fabulous."

"Oh?"

"That's what Gearshift says. It's a joke we have between us." I shrugged. "I accept it. Kinda is true."

"I want to meet this Gearshift. You talk about him so much."

"He's really awesome. Maybe one orbital cycle I'll get you two to meet and we just hang out."

"I would love to do that."

"It's just hard. We're both in school, he has a job and a family. I have a family, and Thunder is strict."

"He's an aft."

"Don't start. He may be an aft at times, but his spike makes up for it." I smiled.

"Don't need to know."

I giggled. "It's fun. Once you do it you'll talk to me all the time about it. Promise."

"I doubt it. I would want what I do with my partner to stay between me and my partner."

"You haven't fragged yet or found a partner." I reminded him. "Interface is fun. I like it."

"You're hurt by him from it."

I flicked my wings. "Only sometimes. But when it's good it's amazing. And with Skywarp," I just smiled for a moment. "I never feel so loved. After the first overload he takes it slow, he isn't rough or hard… How he holds me and kisses me and just… Love him." I fluttered my wings.

"Mhmm."

"Minus when he bites when he kisses. That's not very fun." I grunted, then perked my wings. "You've kissed, right?"

"Romantically? No, never. I've never had a mech or femme friend before, remember?"

"Really? Not even a peck on the lip plates?"

"Nope."

"Not even kissing your pets on the lip plates?"

"I never had pets and, ew." He gave me a look.

I held my servos up peacefully. "Like, I was a sparkling! Okay? Some of my siblings had pets!"

"You kissed them on the lip plates?"

"I was a sparkling! And why do you think I'm scared of cybercats near my face? Because Eclipse's cybercat fragging bit me when I kissed him! He tore my olfactory sensor open and I had to see a doctor! And the fragging cat only got locked in Eclipse's room for one orbital cycle. Rigged justice system…"

"You're so weird…"

"And fabulous." I reminded him. I then perked my wings. "Are you curious about kissing?"

"I'm curious about a lot of things, but I can wait." He replied.

"Why wait for kissing? Like, most have had their first kiss in high school."

"A lot of people also aren't patient nor care for their own health."

"Just a kiss. Listen, I like lost my kissing virginity when I was 12. Like, official. No pets."

"Who'd you kiss?"

"A mechling a stellar cycle older than me. I then later kissed several 17 and 18 stellar cycle old femmes when I was 13 and 14. I was the popular youngling in school. And that brought me some action." I giggled.

"How many people did you kiss in school?"

"Thirty something."

"They were your femme and mech friends?"

"I'm a Seeker. We don't do that until after trining. I think because I saw everyone else with those I kind of wanted to experience it for myself. That, and who doesn't want to kiss a Seeker? I was the only Seeker at every school I ever attended. Probably the only one to ever attend those schools. I got my first glossa action when 14 with a femme who was 19. Super senior." I fluttered my wings. "Damn, everyone was jealous of me!"

"Was she a super senior because she was a brainless bimbo?"

My optics narrowed. "Watch it. I was popular, the glitches loved me, and I was invited to all the parties. People asked _me_ to the prom."

"Who did you go with?"

I sheepishly smiled. "Gearshift."

"Aww. So, despite the fame and popularity you stuck to your friend."

"I was popular, I wasn't a traitor nor a troublemaker. I actually never had any problems with bullies either. Like, there were some, but for the most part they left me alone. Probably because I was the one who was actually trained to fight and had my own guns and other weapons. Things they only dreamed about possessing."

"Please, tell me you never took those to school."

"As if. If I needed o kill anyone at school I would just implement the tools in the classroom. No need to waste my bullets on those afts."

"You just rather kiss them."

I smirked. "You're jealous that I have kissed."

"Mmm, I think I'm fine waiting."

"Sure? You might want to practice until you find the right one. Kissing is something you don't want to mess up."

"And who would I practice on besides your cybercats?"

I paused, then perked my wings. "Want to kiss me?"

"You're my friend. That would be weird…"

"No, it would be weird if you kissed a stranger. Come on, this will be fun." I them hopped onto his lap, straddling his hips as my face got in his.

"Um, Starscream, I don't think-"

"Just a kiss. It's not sexual, not cheating, not wrong." I shrugged. "You'll thank me one orbital cycle."

"Why do you not have any boundaries."

"You love that about me."

"Sometimes I'm not sure."

"Just shut up. Okay, so, for a _proper_ kiss you need to place you servos in the right spots." I grabbed his left servo and made it rest on my hip. "One always on the hip, aft, or lower back. The other you either have hold the chin or back of the helm." I grabbed his other servo and made it hold the back of my helm. "Good."

"This just feels…"

"Sush! I'm teaching here. Okay, then, cock your helm slightly, good." I moved it with my servos before placing them on his shoulders. "Now, open your mouth slightly. Just slightly. Good. Dim your optics." I did mine as I moved closer, our mouths so close. "Just… Follow me." I then made contact with my lip plates. I slowly mouthed, showing him how to move his lips. He then copied me best he could, being so slow and nervous. I could feel his exhales on my faceplates, unsteady and heavy. "Shh, calm down, Sky. It's just me." I smirked before kissing again.

He gave a quick, little nod before continuing. He was getting better as we kept working, but then… Something happened.

As we were kissing, we just started to go a little harder, a little faster. I had my optics offline and… It was feeling like I was with a trinemate almost. And Skyfire… I remember hearing his cooling fans whirling to life, and his servos holding me tighter. The innocent, playful kissing turned passionate, and somehow our glossas got out of their owners' mouths and into the other person's. We were holding each other tighter, clutching almost, optics offline, cooling fans on, frames warming up. I pushed him back in his seat, his servo lowered on my body. I felt my valve clenching, and I instinctively pressed my codpiece against his.

Just as quickly as it got out of servo it ended.

Skyfire suddenly onlined his optics and pushed me back. I snapped out of it and leaped off his lap, missed the desk, and ungracefully fell to the floor. We just sat there, in shock, optics wide, and our cooling fans betraying us to what the other's body truly desired.

I was the first to speak after what felt like an eternity. "I…" I reset my vocalizer. "I must be returning to my trine." I said formally, as if I were speaking to one of my superiors back at the War Academy. I stood up, mustering whatever dignity I could, my wings hiked. I hid it all, my faceplates now an enigma. I was back in the military now, not before my best friend. "I will see you at another time, Shuttle Skyfire." I then marched to the door.

"Yeah… Another time." He said slowly, then looked back, his optics lowering to watch my aft until I had left. He then shook his helm and rubbed over his faceplates. "I can't believe… Damn me." He growled.

I stood outside his dorm, pausing, just thinking about what had happened. I glanced back at the closed door, two digits touching my lip plates, recalling how his touched them just a moment ago. And that feeling… That burning desire I had. How my intimacy was so wet with lust, my legs were feeling weak from it. And my spark was pulsating as hard as if I had just seen a ghost. It was… More emotions in my body at that nanosecond than I had ever felt with my trinemates. And I hated myself for it.

But then I remembered how his body reacted. How warm it was getting, how he held me… So firmly, powerfully, and yet so gentle.

I couldn't help but smile like some dumb, little femme who had her first kiss from her crush. I didn't know what my frame was telling me. But I needed a frag.

I ran down the hallways, going to the closest window I could climb out of. I needed to get home and get some loving from my trinemates.

* * *

I flew home and raced inside. I slid to a stop, wings perked. The younglings were in the living room watching TV and playing with their toys, but there were no adults.

"Where's your sire and uncle?" I inquired of my eldest.

Zephyr glared at me and I knew what was happening. I drooped my wings and went upstairs, all my lust instantly dissipating. I heard the sound of the metal cable striking my brother before I heard his cries of pain. I stood outside his room, trembling as I listened. I hated hearing it, but he would need me once it was over. I swallowed, scared about my own safety as well. I knew I wasn't in trouble, but just the thought, hearing that cable striking someone's frame, and the crying… I was beginning to leak coolant.

It was over soon, I heard Thundercracker's vocalizer lecturing, Skywarp blabbering "yes, sirs" and "no, sirs," then the door opened. I shrunk back when seeing Thundercracker's angry expression and that cable still in his servo. He spared me only a glance before stomping away.

I watched him leave, then entered Skywarp's room. I closed the door, and approached, wings low. He was lying on his side on the berth, arms folded as he cried into them. I sat beside him and gently touched his arm. He jerked his helm up, scared, but then saw it was only me. He quickly sat up and hugged me, crying into my chestplates. I stroked his wing, purring my engine to soothe him.

"I'm here. I love you." I said softly, listening to him cry, trying to keep from crying myself.

It was some time before he burned out all of his sobs and was sitting beside me, wiping at his optics, calming down. I then chose to ask the question.

"What was it for?"

He didn't speak immediately. "He caught me watching porn…" He answered softly. "Grounder porn. That's disgusting to him, he doesn't want it in his home, so…" He just looked down at his servos.

I personally am not a fan of most porn. But if you're watching it, I don't care. Skywarp is harmless and watches it. He never let the sparklings see it or know he was watching it. But, grounders must not be something we enjoy because grounders are evil.

"Well… Maybe sometime we just make our own porno and watch that." I replied.

He faintly smiled. "Might be weird watching ourselves."

"Nah. Watching you certainly turns me on." I kissed him. "Love you."

"Love you more."

"Love you, mostest."

He managed a wing flutter. "You're the best."

"I try." I snuggled against him. "Time to pamper you and love on you."

"I just want to curl in a corner and die."

"Don't talk like that. We love you." I vented a sigh. "You know it's for our own good. He has to punish us."

"I know." He said softly. "I know I messed up and needed it… I just wish it didn't hurt so much."

"I know. I do, too. But it wouldn't be teaching us anything if it didn't hurt and scare us."

Skywarp was silent a moment. "He is really scary…"

I bit my lower lip plate. "Yeah," I said barely louder than a whisper. "He is. But he loves us."

"Yeah…"

We sat in silence for a time, just hugging each other.

"Starscream!" Thundercracker's vocalizer sounded from the other room.

I perked my wings, then lowered them. I knew what he wanted, but I didn't want to leave Skywarp. I chose to ignore him and just hug Warp. He called again, and I still stayed. It wasn't long before the door was palmed open and he stomped in.

"I summoned you twice, he snapped."

I shrunk back. "I-I didn't hear you." I lied.

"Oh? You didn't hear me calling for you _twice_ in this not very large apartment, that is absolutely quiet, from the other room?" He flicked his wings. "Don't you lie to me."

"I'm not lying!" I said quickly.

"Skywarp, did you hear me?" He demanded.

Skywarp's optics widened, not wanting this. "Um, I-"

"So, you did. If Skywarp could hear me then you could."

"I-I didn't hear you!" I cried.

He stomped over, wings flaring. "Turn over."

My wings trembled as they hung. "Please, Thunder…"

"Turn. Around." He growled with gritted denta.

Coolant pooled in my optics as I let go of Skywarp and did as he ordered. I leaned over the berth, resting my front on it as my peds stayed on the floor, exposing my aft. I heard him unsubspace the metal cable, already starting to sob. Skywarp held my servo, comforting me best he could.

Then Thundercracker began to lash my aft hard and fast. I cried, I begged, I screamed, but he ignored it to beat the slag out of my rear end.

It was about a hundred lashes before he stopped and grasped my wing. He yanked me up and made me sit down on the berth. I was a pathetic, bawling mess, my aft stinging worse from having to sit on it.

"Skywarp, turn around." He commanded as he subspaced the cable.

Skywarp swallowed before doing so. He leaned over the berth, and Thundercracker was instantly on him, grasping him, holding him close. Skywarp removed his codpiece and soon Thundercracker was in him, fragging him hard and fast. Skywarp grit his denta and scrunched up his faceplates as Thundercracker bit his nape hard, and thrust a little too eagerly into him.

I wiped at my optics and worked at calming down as I watched. I knew I had to. Thundercracker was mad so was interfacing with Skywarp instead of me because I was so terrible. If I hadn't misbehaved the roles would have been reversed. But, lying to the trineleader and ignoring him was a worse offense than watching porn.

It was a bit before Thundercracker finally overloaded. He panted over Skywarp, cooling off as Skywarp did as well. He turned to me, wings hiking.

"Too bad for you. No interface." He said it like it should upset me.

I flicked my wings, and for some stupidaft reason I grumbled this because I'm a complete and utter worthless idiot. "Didn't want it anyway." STUPID! You _STUPID_ Seeker!

"What was that?" Thundercracker said suddenly, wings flaring, giving me that look of his when slag was about to get real.

I knew I was dead, but I was developing a bad habit. "I didn't say anything." I replied quickly.

Skywarp yelped from how fast Thundercracker pulled out and shoved him aside. My trineleader leered over me, death and the fires of hell burning in his glowing optics. I was so fragging dead.

"You were just punished for lying to me. Are you that quick to forget or are you just stupid? He demanded.

"I'm not stupid nor lying, sir." I said quickly, leaning away from him.

"You are such a disrespectful, lying little-" He grasped me and flipped me over, pinning me down to the berth.

I tensed as I quickly grabbed Skywarp's servo. I heard the subspace pocket open and almost immediately I felt that evil cable lashing over my aft. And it just kept lashing hard and fast, brutally tearing apart my aft and thighs. I could only scream, cry, beg, and struggle to stay in place or else suffer worse.

It felt like an eternally, but was just over a breem. My aft was dented and torn apart, energon leaking from all over it. I was a bawling mess unable to talk, and trembling from shock. He grumbled about what a disrespectful, lying, and bratty trinemate I was as he stormed out.

Skywarp pulled me onto his lap and hugged me, holding me close to him as I cried in his chassis.

"Shhh, shhh, let it out." He said softly as he lovingly stroked my wing. "I know it hurts… I know… It's for our own good. He does it because he loves us." He swallowed, coolant leaking from his own optics.

I just cried. I knew it was true. I deserved it. It was for my own good I was punished. It was what a loving, responsible, good trineleader did.

* * *

A few orbital cycles later I was alone with the younglings. Thundercracker was at work, Skywarp had left to make an energon run, and Zephyr was at school. I volunteered to stay behind and care for the little ones. Really, I just wanted an excuse to make a special call.

"There's like, no way, Gunshot is joined to that actress now." I replied as I sat at my desk, Dawn and Storm on my lap.

"Yes, way." Gearshift said, his face and upper body visible on my monitor as we video called. "He has all the Shanix now."

"He was such an idiot in school."

"He was. But, that's why he has a mistress now."

I snorted. "She won't be getting much from him."

Gearshift chuckled. "Did you hear about Battletrap?"

"You know I don't keep up with our old friends."

"Well, apparently he got arrested."

My wings perked. "What for?"

"Something about illegal dispersal or something. I don't know."

"Weird." I adjusted the sparklings on my lap. I bit my lower lip plate before speaking. "So, Gears…. I need to talk to you about something?"

"Finally! A proposal! My answer is yes." He smirked.

I rolled my optics. "I told you I'm not joining with you until you change that Primus awful color scheme of yours." I said playfully.

"I'll change it just for you, doll-face."

I snorted. "You're terrible. No, seriously, I have to talk to you about something. Something serious."

"Uh oh. What is it? No more drugs, right? Did that slagger hit you again?"

"Please, I get enough of that from Skyfire. No, it's about Skyfire."

"What did he do? I'll beat him up if he touched you!"

"He didn't-" I vented a sigh. "Okay, so, it's partly my fault. I was talking and we just… I found out he had never kissed before."

"Lame."

"I know, right? Anyway, he has never kissed before and I was just joking and teasing with him and then… I offered to let him practice on me. Err, I told him I would teach him. So… We kissed."

"Was it really bad?"

"No, it was…" I paused. "It was amazing. I loved it. I… It became passionate and.. We stopped before anything happened and I quickly left but… Gearshift, I felt… I _lusted_ for him. I was turned on, I wanted more, I just… And I know he wanted me. How he held me, he was beginning to overheat, and… I-I don't know what to think. Did I cheat? Am I an adulterer now? Do I actually love him in that way? I just… Argh!"

"Wow, that escalated. Um, I don't know what to say, Stars. You didn't cheat so… Don't think that."

"But I wanted to frag him!"

"Well, I want to frag that hot femme in that TV show, 'A Thousand Ways to Lie.' Like, damn. But that's not cheating."

"Your mate also knows about her."

"She has a celebrity Conjunx, too, so it works. She wants that guy from that movie 'The Darkest Night.'"

I smirked. "I kinda want him, too."

"Shut up. Anyway! What happened between you and Skyfire I wouldn't rust my gears. Just programming. And, Stars, you're fragging hot as hell, so like, anyone gets turned on by any interaction with you."

"You don't."

"That's because I've known you since we were sparklings so the thought of fragging you makes me sick."

"The feelings mutual."

"Exactly. We're brothers from another carrier. We don't do incest."

"It is quite a negative action that is greatly frowned upon."

"Like, I can still look at you and _appreciate_ your immense beauty, why other people would want to frag you senseless, and why everyone wants to have sparklings with you, but I myself? No. You're gross."

"I feel it stronger for you."

"Mhmm! Bros don't do that. The closest I'll ever get to you is when we kissed back in school and slapping you on the aft when you block my view to the TV."

"TV always takes precedence."

"Now, since we are clear on that… Are you going to talk to him?"

"I don't want to, but I know I have to or else you will come over and turn me over your knee."

"In a nonsexual way."

"I pray so."

"But, yes, I will. So you better talk to him about this."

"Yes, sir…"

"Anything other than that going on with you that I must be informed about?"

I smirked. "I love you."

He chuckled. "All my platonic love to you, too, silylhelm."

"I has two sparklings." I gestured to the ones on my lap.

"I have one somewhere around here… The dog probably ate him." He smiled.

"I kinda want a cyberdog. Oh, so, like, Thundercracker is getting a raise because he's so damn good at his job. And, because of this raise he's going to get his little glitches something special."

"What is he getting you?"

"He said a romantic date. Dinner, movie, flight at sunset, candles as we make love, and a raise in our allowance. He also said presents so we'll see what he gets."

"Send me that Shanix."

"Hell no. I'm keeping it for stripper lessons, remember?"

"Aw, yes. Because I'm going to pimp you out."

"Pimp me out and use me as a marketing campaign for safer streets."

He chuckled. "I hope no one finds our conversations because they will think we hate each other with how we talk."

"I so hate you, you glitch."

"Whatever, whiny aft."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you with that spike in your mouth."

He snorted. "This is why I love you. No filter."

I fluttered my wings as I smiled. "Shut your whore mouth. I'm fabulous."

"The most fabulous Seeker ever."

"Most fabulous Cybertronian ever."

"So fab."

"You know it." I perked my wings. "I heard the door open. One of my trinemates is home."

"Alright… Well, let me know how your talk with Skyfire goes. Love you, my whiny-aft, fabulous, glitchy son! All the platonic love to you!"

"And all my platonic love to the best glitch carrier ever." I blew a kiss to him. "Put that on your aft."

"I always do." He waved. "Bye! Stay safe! Love you!"

"Love you, too! Bye!" I waved, then ended the call. I closed out of the program, stood up, and put the little ones on either hip before stepping out of my room. "Hey, Thunder!"

"Hey, Star!" I heard him call.

I made my way down the stairs and hurried over to him. He was removing the harness, having picked up Zephyr from school. Zephyr had taken off hers and tossed it aside. Her wings fluttered when seeing me.

"Carrier!" She ran over and hugged me.

"Hey, princess. Let me hand these two over to your sire, then I'll hug you."

"Were they good?" Thundercracker asked as he took the sparklings.

"They were perfect." I replied just before he kissed me on the lip plates.

"And how were you?"

"I was naughty." I smirked.

He chuckled. "I bet you were." He kissed me again.

I picked up Zephyr, something that was becoming harder to do with how big she was getting, but I was determined to continue holding her like a sparkling until I physically couldn't anymore. I was dying enough at the thought she would be an adult and moving out one orbital cycle.

"How was school?" I inquired of her.

"Fun. Hey, carrier, I have a question."

"And I have an answer."

"Can I have friends over?"

I glanced at Thundercracker. "Well, who are your friends?"

"Floret, Halo, Plumeria-"

"What kind of designations are those?" Thundercracker grunted. "Sound like pussies to me."

I gave him a look. "Not everyone grows up in a warrior society and designates their creations with strong or intimidating titles."

"Please?" Zephyr continued. "Can they come over?"

"Are they grounders?" Thundercracker grunted.

"Maybe some are." Zephyr snapped.

"No." Thunder replied harshly.

Zephyr's wings lowered, and she looked like she wanted to cry. That wouldn't do. My little femmling will get whatever the hell she wanted. I will not settle with anything less than my daughters' joy and happiness! This carrier will kill to ensure it.

"I'll talk to your sire." I smiled at her before kissing her on the cheekplates. I set her down, then took the younger two from Thundercracker, and set them down as well. "Watch your siblings, Zephyr." I then took Thundercracker's servo and led him upstairs to his room. I closed the door behind us and turned to him. "Let her have her friends over, Thunder. She's just a sparkling."

"They're grounders, Star. I don't want those in my home or associating with my creations." He said abruptly.

My wings lowered some. "I know you don't want grounders around, but… She needs friends, she needs to socialize, and she needs to enjoy her time as a youngling. She won't be able to go back. I had grounder friends at her age and in high school. When I graduated we ended up not talking anymore so we just became distant and now I don't remember most of them. But, it was fun for me during that time to have them to talk to, play with, and do homework together. The friends she has now doesn't mean they will be lifelong friends nor a heavy influence on her life. And she needs to socialize, to play, to live." I paused. "Please, Thunder. Let her have friends over and have play dates. It'll be good for her, and the other creations we have and will have will also want friends and play dates. Might as well get use to having them now."

"I don't trust grounders. What if they hurt her?"

"What if they don't? Some grounders are dangerous, yes, but some are harmless. We won't let her have any recharge overs until we are certain of her safety, of course. So, for these play dates I will supervise over them. I promise."

"I'm still not convinced." He grunted.

That wouldn't do. But, I had learned a few things from my carrier about how to handle a mech that didn't listen to reason. When their processor won't bulge, talk to the _other_ processor!

I sexily smirked as I salaciously approached him, my wings raising. I noticed a change in his optics before he quickly reset them. He knew what was coming. The slagger held his ground though, prepared to fight me. But, he wouldn't win in this battle.

"Not convinced, my trineleader?" I purred, my servos touching his broad chestplates, trailing electrical currents into his transformation seams. "Should I go over the points again?"

"Starscream…" He said slowly.

"Yes?" I kissed him on the lip plates, slowly, seductively. My servos roved over his frame, one stopping over his codpiece as the other gave his aft a squeeze.

"Mmmm!" He flicked is wings. "I know you disagree with me, but I do what I must to protect my trine."

"You do. And we appreciate it. But, I do what I must to ensure our daughters are happy. You may provide for the trine, but I am in charge of raising our young." My smile grew when his codpiece folded open. I soon had his spike in my servos and begun to stroke it, sending currents into it.

That slagger intook sharply. "You know we can't trust grounders." He continued.

I got down on my knees, still pleasuring his spike, feeling it harden and rise. His cooling fans were kicking on. I leveled the spike with my face, and opened my mouth.

"Star, I really just want-OH!" He gasped, wings fluttering as I began to work my magic. He offlined his optics, a servo held the back of my helm, and he just quietly moaned his pleasure for a moment before speaking. "I… Might reconsider." He moaned and fluttered his wings for a bit more before speaking again. "Maybe one friend."

That slagger had a night to remember for sure. I knew his frame, I knew how to work my own. I owned him for those two joors. He was my glitch, and I got everything I wanted.

Once I was finished and cleaned up, I walked out of his room and went to Zephyr's. I palmed open her door, smiling victoriously.

"Hey, sweetspark. So, I had a talk with your sire and he says it's okay for your friends to come over as long as there's an adult at home."

"Really?" Zephyr perked her wings, then ran over and hugged me. "Thanks, carrier! You're the best!" She proclaimed.

"Oh, he certainly is." Thundercracker just smiled as he walked by, beyond satisfied.

I smirked. "I know I am. In all the ways." I kissed her cheekplates.

"What were you two up to for so long?" Skywarp asked, having heard us finally leave the room.

"I was getting something for my daughter." I replied.

He rolled his optics. "Of course you were. Is he still in a good mood?"

"He is."

"Good. I'm going to go ask him for something then." He trotted off to do just that.

"Okay, princess, let's figure out the best time for your friends to come over."

* * *

The time had come. I was to die this orbital cycle. I stood outside of Skyfire's door, knowing something diabolical waited for me beyond the metal barrier. I vented a sigh, and knocked.

It soon opened and that familiar smile that warmed my spark appeared. "Hey, Star."

I forced a weak smile. "Hey, Sky."

He paused. "I'm guessing I know what this visit is for."

I nodded. "May I enter?"

"You don't need to ask." He replied as he stepped aside.

I walked in and sat on his berth, feeling anxious, but not terribly so. He sat on his desk chair and faced me.

"So… Who wants to start?" He asked.

"I can since it's my fault."

"It's no ones fault." He replied softly. "I think… We just got excited."

"Excited over what?" I perked my wings. "It was supposed to be a simple kiss. I have never felt like that kissing anyone minus my trinemates. Why… why did I feel that way with you?"

"Maybe we've been too close?"

"But, even if you're close to someone doesn't mean you'd have sexual attraction to them." I paused. "Do you… want me?"

His optics widened. "No! No, of course not! You're my best friend. I don't see you like that. I mean, you don't see me like that, right?"

"Not at all. I have a trine. They have my love for that stuff. Not you."

"See? We don't love or want each other like that."

"Of course not. Maybe our frames just like… glitched."

"It's possible."

"Totally."

"Yeah."

"Mhmm."

"So…"

"Let's never speak of this again."

"Agreed."

Silence.

"So… Zephyr is at the top of her class."

"That's good."

"Yeah… She's my little princess…"

Silence.

"Maybe I should go."

"You don't have to."

"I think we need more time."

"Maybe."

"Definitely."

"Chat online?"

"Good idea."

"Want me to come by sometime?"

"I'll see…"

"You doing alright?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm good."

"You don't seem good."

"I learned long ago that when you say you're 'fine' it means the complete opposite."

"I'm still in recovery from my drug addiction. Of course I'm not all fine."

"Need me to do anything for you?"

"Negative."

"Okay."

Silence.

"I'm going. I'm going to end up feeling the need to murder someone if this conversation continues to go any lower." I stood up.

"Well, I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, later." I started for the door, then paused. "I noticed you've been watching my aft. You better not be doing that right now."

"Sorry." He turned away.

I vented a sigh. "I'll talk to you later, Sky."

"Okay… Later, Star."

I walked out and down the hallway. "Well…. That went well." I grunted.

* * *

 **Sorry this one took a little longer. One of my students got me sick so I've been dying this week. Blech... It's stupid. When I went vegan I NEVER got sick for over 4 YEARS! I used to get sick all the time as a carnist (fuck those days of supporting abuse and being ignorant on the truth), and then when I took this job of teaching little kids art I started getting sick again. I think it's the combination of being stressed all the time, plus being exposed to even MORE germs since little kids have such weak immune systems, and now I am dying. Plus, they kinda like cough in your face, don't wash their hands after going potty, etc... I work from 3-10 years old. So lots of little babies. I do love them, but I also can't stand them at times. XD Still prefer them over the bitch managers and owner. Cunts are nasty to the kids AND employees... Assholes.**

 **Anyway! I only have one more week before going back to college. MY FINAL SEMESTER! So close to being done! So, hopefully I can get at least 2 more chapters in... I want to get the major breaking point in before I am too busy to write so you people have to suffer at a major cliffhanger for who knows how long. :P Because I'm an asshole like that.**

 **Back to this chapter. Dawn is learning to talk before storm because she's Starscream's baby. His babies are smarter and learn faster than Skywarp's babies because, well, Star is absolutely brilliant and Skywarp... He's just special. But we still love him. :3**

 **Battletrap is a canon Decepticon. What illegal items was he distributing? Pamphlets. Written by whom? Some quiet, nervous, shy miner who will change an entire galaxy with his words.**

 **The way Gearshift and Starscream talk to each other is how I and my two best friends talk. We cuss at, insult, and say some pretty strong things to each other to sow our love. XD And sometimes things are jokes regarding sex. Despite me being asexual, I have my head in the gutter all the time. Oh, and one of my best friends I basically adopted so she's my "daughter" and I'm her "mother." Hence why Star and Gearshift have a relationship like that. :P**

 **Starscream is learning how to manipulate, use his own body, and to lie more. He's starting to show who he really is more and more. And all the foreshadowing I have going on. MWUAHAHAHA!**

 **Okay, getting closer to when you all will hate me. Please keep commenting, faving, sharing, and letting me know your thoughts and any questions you may have! I really do love reading your comments. It makes me smile every time I see that someone has said something about my stories. :)**

 **Also, someone said I wrote "strange" things. What's strange? Robots with penises and vaginas? I mean, yeah, that's strange, but like, that's what you came here for. :P**


	13. Number Three Arrives

**Chapter 13**

"My Conjunx and I have actually been thinking about sending Floret to a camp. She loves the outdoors and there's a camp all about learning about nature, surviving in the wilderness, and learning about different animals."

"Oh, I don't think I could send Zephyr to a camp." I said slowly as I sat at the table with a glass of energon, two femmes and mech sitting there with me. "I just… I have a hard time letting go. I freak out enough as is with her simply going to school."

"I know." The second femme, Tidewater, replied. "I had to leave Plumeria with her grandcreators for an orn because I had a business trip and I died on the inside."

"I'm with you, Starscream." The mech, Trailpoint, replied. "I am not ready to send Halo to any camp, much less being in a different city than me."

"We're carriers. We're overprotective." I replied.

"I think it's best to wait until they tell you they're ready." The first femme, Burnout, said. "Floret knows she's ready, she wants to go, so… We'll make her happy and hopefully we don't cry too much." She smirked.

"I cried when Zephyr went to her first orbital cycle of school." I looked down at my glass. "I have separation anxiety, like bad."

"Carrier!"

I looked over as Zephyr ran to me. "Yes, princess?"

"Uncle Skywarp won't let us paint his face…" She said sadly.

"Why do you want to paint his face?" I raised an optical ridge.

"Because… He's a mech, and they're gross."

"Femme, I agree with you. Completely. But don't paint his face. Paint your sire's face when he gets home."

She giggled. "Can we get cake?"

"Yeah, cake!" Floret cried as she and Zephyr's other friends ran over.

"I'm alright with it." I glanced at the other carriers to see if it was alright with them.

"Go ahead." Burnout smiled.

The femmlings cheered as they bounced. I got up and went to retrieve the cake. It had been a few decacycles since I had kissed Skyfire. We were back being normal friends, never bringing up that incident. It still lingered in our processors, but we never spoke of those feelings. I was back in school and dying over homework, and Zephyr was having friends over regularly. As well as having a couple of recharge overs at a couple of her friends' homes. Things were going alright. Not perfect, but better than what they would eventually become.

I returned with the cake and placed it on the table. Trailpoint helped me to cut it and hand out slices. I sat down and Zephyr quickly hopped onto my lap. The other younglings all sat on their own seats. The non-Seekerlets were far less cuddly with their creators than Seekerlets were. But, physical contact was very important in Seeker culture, so I suppose that may be why. I pitied those creators. I always had my precious femmlings on my lap and clinging to me, while theirs rather sit away and look at their tablets all the time.

Zephyr looked up at me and smiled. "Love you, carrier."

I smiled back. "Love you, too, princess." I kissed her brow. I knew those other carriers were jealous of me. I soaked in that jealously. It fueled me.

My wings perked when the balcony door opened and Thundercracker walked in. His wings perked, seeing the guests.

"Hello, Thundercracker!" Tidewater waved. "How are you?"

"Fair." He grunted as he approached. He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates. "Love you. How is everything?"

"Going well." I replied softly. "Our daughter is going to paint your face."

He raised an optical ridge. "Why?"

"Because you love her and good sires let their daughters and their friends paint the sire's faceplates."

He rolled his optics. "If that's the case I'm out of here." He then walked towards the balcony door again.

"Coward!" I shouted after him.

"I rather live with dignity!" He called back before going back out.

"Well, sweetspark, you know what this means, right?"

"What?" She looked at me.

"We're going to have to paint Storm's faceplates."

Storm looked absolutely fabulous by the end of the orbital cycle.

* * *

Well, it was a few orbital cycles later that I had an incident that would change things for me. We were at a store, my trinemates and the two youngest. Zephyr was at a friend's house. It was all normal and fine until I screwed up as usual. I accidentally bumped into a shelf and caused a decently priced vase to break. You break it, you buy it. So, Thundercracker was quite pissed. So much so that the moment we stepped out of the store, and right there by the street, he made me lean over a bench and gave me a hard aft beating with the metal cable he always keeps with him for such occasions.

It was absolutely evil and I of course cried out, screamed, and bawled like a sparkling as that cruel thing tore apart my innocent rear. Despite the obvious cruelty of the act, no one came to my aid. So many passed by, all paying more attention due to the wretched screams I was making. Some people came simply because they heard me, undoubtedly. I was absolutely humiliated. Here I was, a proud Seeker, crying like a sparkling because my aft was getting a beating. I hated myself for not being able to be brave or strong like so many other Seekers who took their punishments in silence, not moving, and being perfect, obedient submissives.

When it was over and we were flying home, I mentally cursed myself for being so weak. I remembered how Gale could remain so quiet when Steelwing lashed him. Why couldn't I be like that?

I was so frustrated with myself and being humiliated like that that I lashed out at Skywarp on the flight home when he tried to comfort me. When we did return, Thundercracker ordered me to his room. I obeyed, and soon found myself leaning over his berth as he gave me another beating. I was crying and screaming, but I remembered I needed to learn how to fight it and be quiet. I tried, but it was not easy. But I wouldn't give up. For now on, I would no longer show emotion when I was punished. If I could help it, of course. It was not easy to train for this.

Worst part of this orbital cycle was that I had invited Skyfire to come over. And I was in the middle of this second aft beating when he showed up.

"Hey." Skyfire smiled when Skywarp opened the door for him.

Skywarp gestured him inside, wings low. "Hey…"

"What's wrong?" Skyfire inquired as he entered.

"Starscream… Misbehaved so is currently being corrected. I don't know when Thundercracker will finish with him."

Skyfire's optics narrowed. "That slagging bastard better…" He started to stomp towards the stairs.

Skywarp teleported in front of him. "Skyfire, wait! I don't like it either, but Thundercracker is just being a responsible trineleader."

"He's hurting my friend!"

"He's punishing him! It's for his own good!"

Skyfire just pushed Skywarp aside and started up the stairs. He could hear the sounds of the cable lashing over my body and my occasional screams as I fought to be silent. He started to storm up the stairs, but Skywarp teleported in front of him again and pushed back against him.

"Skyfire, you're only going to make it worse if you storm in there!"

"How could it get any worse?!" He shouted angrily.

Skywarp was about to say something when the sounds ceased from Thundercracker's room. Skyfire started to push him away, then the door opened and Thundercracker stomped out, dragging me behind him by my wrist. I kept up with him, crying pathetically as my free servo wiped at my optics. He palmed open the door to my room, shoved me inside, and slammed the door shut.

Thundercracker grumbled bitterly about what a brat I was as he marched back to his room and closed the door. Skyfire shoved Skywarp aside and quickly went to my room. He opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. His wings lowered as he approached.

I was lying on my berth, aft pressed against the wall to ensure its protection as I hugged a cushion, crying into it. He sat beside me and gently stroked my arm. I startled, looking up, scared that my punishment wasn't truly over, but then I calmed down when I saw him.

"W-what are y-you doing h-here?" I managed between sobs.

"You asked me to come over this morning." He replied gently.

I was silent a moment, trying to calm down. I crawled over and climbed onto his lap, curling into his chassis. I felt safe when those powerful arms hugged me close.

"I want to beat the slag out of him." Skyfire growled.

"Please, don't. H-he just does w-what he has to."

"Starscream, he abuses you and-"

"SHUT UP!" I shrieked. "I am _fragging DONE_ with you constantly lecturing me a-about him! He's _not_ abusing me! He's _not_ raping me! H-he's my trineleader, I love him, and he loves me! Just… STOP IT!"

Skyfire wanted to say something, but he clenched his jaws shut and remained silent. I felt the tension, his fury emanating from his large being. I bit my lower lip plate, just silent, pretty sure he would push me off his lap, stomp out, and leave me forever.

But he never did. He just hugged me, being there for me. Knowing I needed him.

"I'm sorry…" I whispered after a moment.

"I know you'll see him for what he really is." He grunted. "I'm just hoping it's sooner than later."

I chose to ignore that comment. I wiped at my optics, calming down enough to speak. "Y-you brought everything?"

He vented a sigh. "Yeah."

I nodded. "Okay… Let's just do homework then."

"Okay…" He said softly, wishing I would stop going around the situation.

* * *

A few orns later and I found myself with Thundercracker and Zephyr at Zephyr's school for a parent-teacher meeting. We had been unable to go to some of the previous ones, but finally we were going and this time Thundercracker was coming with. I was excited to see how my precious, little femmling was doing, and was so happy that her sire finally could be there. His work had him so busy it was ridiculous.

We were in one of the classrooms waiting, Zephyr sitting between us. Skywarp was watching the two youngest, so it was nice to just focus on my eldest and her sire. I was excitedly talking to the carriers of Zephyr's friends, having a wonderful time with them and even learning some very juicy gossip. Thundercracker just read from a datapad, not enjoying so many non-Seekers around him. And Zephyr was talking with her friends.

Finally, we were called to see Zephyr's teacher. I held her servo as we walked to the classroom, my trineleader keeping his wings spread out to show off his size. He didn't trust the grounders, so of course had to be intimidating. I paid him no heed. I felt perfectly safe around them because so many were carriers like me. Just there to learn how their little ones were doing.

"Hello, I'm Miss Scarlett." The grounder femme greeted us warmly. Just take a seat." She gestured to the chairs in front of her desk.

We sat down, Zephyr between us. Thundercracker placed a heel on his knee as he leaned back, an arm wrapping over the tops of our chairs to remind everyone that we were part of his trine and he was the protector of it.

"And you're the sire, correct?" Miss Scarlett turned to Thundercracker.

"Correct." He inclined his helm.

"Since the bank account is in your designation, we need you to actually double check something for us." She said. "I was told that something about your last couple of payments didn't go through? They would like you to go over there and see about that. Here's the paperwork they asked me to give you." She handed him a datapad.

He took it. "I don't understand what would be wrong." He looked at it.

"I have some stuff to organize so you can run over right now and when you get back we can discuss Zephyr."

He turned to me. "Will you be alright if I left?"

I nodded. "Yeah, go see about that. We'll be right here."

"Alright." He stood up and kissed me on the lip plates. "I won't take long." He then walked out, the door hissing shut behind him.

Miss Scarlett waiting a moment before speaking, her vocalizer softer now. "That worked."

I raised an optical ridge. "What do you mean?"

"Starscream," She handed me a datapad. "Zephyr has made us aware about how her sire has been treating you and her uncle. She has been making these disturbing drawings of it."

I felt my spark dropping, not wanting to go through this again. I onlined the datapad and I was greeted with drawings (better than the first time) of Skywarp and I being punished by Thundercracker, Zephyr fighting against him to save us, her killing her sire, her calling her sire awful things, and Thundercracker drawn as various monsters and being rather disgusting. There were so many drawings of him being killed, torn apart by monsters, falling in lava, run over by vehicles, and even being tortured and beaten himself. Absolutely horrific images despite being so crude. But it wasn't just drawings. There were angry letters where Zephyr expressed how much she hated her sire wanted him dead, and plans of hers to kill him.

"I-I don't understand why she keeps doing this." I stuttered, starting to cry, coolant leaking from my optics. "H-he punishes me a-and her uncle wh-when we act up. It's not abuse."

"Zephyr has told us-"

"She's a sparkling!" I shouted, getting so tired of all of these non-Seekers accusing my trineleader of abusing and raping me. "Sh-she doesn't understand why her sire has to punish us."

"She understands that you being harmed in such a vicious manner is cruel and must end. We can help you, Starscream." Miss Scarlett explained.

"I'm safe and happy with my trineleader. He never abuses us, he would _never_ strike one of his creations, a-and I came here to find out how my daughter is doing in her school. Not to be told that I need to leave the mech I am bonded with!" I flicked my wings, optics narrowing. "We're _Seekers_ , and we are a warrior society that are not little, crying sparklings. We do things differently and it's for the better for our subspecies as a whole."

"Starscream, I understand it can be difficult to come to terms that the mech you love is-"

"No," I held up my servo to silence her. "I understand everything perfectly, Miss Scarlett. You either discuss the topic to which I came here for, or do not speak at all."

"Carrier!" Zephyr exclaimed. "Sire is a bad mech that hurts you and Uncle Warp! He needs to be killed o-or locked away!"

"Zephyr…" I vented an exasperated sigh. "I'm not talking to you about this anymore. I'm done.

"Sire is wrong and you know it!" She screamed.

"He is your sire and my trineleader."

"He's a monster." She growled.

I flared my wings at her, and she flared hers right back, growling her engine. I growled mine, but she wouldn't back down.

The door opened and we both quickly perked our wings as we turned, all aggression gone.

"They said they found the problem. Something about the payments-" Thundercracker paused, not sure why we were watching him so intently. His wings gave a very slight flick as he raised an optical ridge. He sat beside his daughter, glanced at me, then turned to Miss Scarlett, smirking. "So, how is my princess doing?" He asked friendly enough.

Miss Scarlett took the datapad back from me, set it aside, and handed Thundercracker another one. "She is an exceptional student. Perfect grades, always turns everything in on time, participates, and is always in the best of moods. We absolutely adore her here." She smiled.

Thundercracker's smile became so proud as he looked at her grades. "That's my little femmling." He pulled her close to hug her, which Zephyr obviously did not want. "Takes after her carrier. Perfect student in everything she does."

I faintly smiled. "Yeah… She's perfect in every way. And we both love her more than anything."

"Absolutely." Thundercracker roughed up her helm. "She'll be a trineleader for sure."

Zephyr glared at me, so angry at me. It would be later I learned she had asked her teacher to talk to me about the abuse and to get Thundercracker away by making up some excuse. Our payments were fine. But the faculty were willing to help Zephyr. I may not have appreciated her efforts at the time, but now when I think about it… Primus blessed me with the best daughter ever. And I'm thankful every orbital cycle she never gave up on saving me or Skywarp. If she hadn't done what she did, I would still be a bottom being abused. But, that part of the story hasn't come yet.

* * *

Time went by, and before long Dawn and Storm were 4 stellar cycles old, and Zephyr was 9. My two little femmlings were growing up so fast. I couldn't handle it! But, I was, and still am, so proud of them. Dawn and Storm started to attend pre-school, and Skywarp and I both cried. They were just too small and precious to be old enough for it! I started to cry at the thought that before long they would be moving out of the apartment to find their own trines, have their own families, a job, responsibilities, and be adults away from me. And then I cried at the thought of being a grandcarrier! I wasn't even a vorn old yet! I couldn't be that old!

Well, with the two youngest now being 4, it was time for the breeding to start back up. And I wanted to cry even more.

I hissed, engine growling, wings flicking, as I grasped the berth, leaning over it. Thundercracker flicked his wings, growling his engine back as he harshly bit my nape, thrusting hard and fast into me. I pushed back against him, panting, tired from how long he had been doing this. It was the fifth orbital cycle he had been working on sparkling me and Skywarp. So far there was nothing, but that never discouraged Thundercracker before.

The sparklings were all in their own berthrooms recharging, and we had gotten a white-noise machine to have on while interfacing at night. We always told the Seekerlets to offline their audio receptors when recharging, but I didn't trust them so Thundercracker got the machine.

"I love you." He said softly between the painful biting.

I flicked my wings. "I love you, too."

He chuckled. "So vicious tonight, aren't you?"

I smirked. "Oh, ahhh… Yes, sir. I-oh, am."

Skywarp giggled. "You two are silly. We all know I make the better turbofox in heat."

I rolled my optics. "You and Thunder sound like something other than, oh, a turbofox fragging."

Thundercracker chuckled. "You like the way I sound." He tightened his arm around my waist and started to go even harder and faster, our sparks' energy entangling angrily from our still open chestplates.

"Oh… Primus… Ahhh!"

Skywarp silently watched, waiting for his turn. His wings perked when the door suddenly opened.

"Carrier, are you online still?" Zephyr asked as she entered, stopping when she saw us. Her wings perked and optics widened. "What is sire doing to-"

"Slag!" Skywarp teleported in front of her and covered her optics. "Hey, stop you two! We have an uninvited guest!"

Thundercracker instantly stopped, wings raising as him and I both turned to look at our daughter.

"Out, out, out!" I pushed back at my trineleader.

He quickly pulled out and closed his plates. I closed mine and rushed over, grabbed her arm, and pulled her out of the room. I walked her to her room and closed the door before turning to her, forcing a smile. "Hey, sweetie. What are you doing up?"

She gave me a confused look. "Whar was sire doing to you?"

My wings lowered as my smile left. "How much did you see?"

"Enough, I guess."

"What was he doing?"

"He… Had something between his legs going… in you…"

I slowly nodded. "Well, I was going to tell you when you turned 10…" I vented a sigh. "Let's sit down and talk."

"About?"

I sat on her berth and made her sit beside me. "About how sparklings are put inside of their carriers and how trines bond."

"Sparkling? You're having another sparkling?"

I nodded. "Yes, your sire is working on putting another in me and one in Skywarp. You're going to have two more little siblings." I faintly smiled, not wanting to be sparked again, but I had to hide that from her.

She smiled. "Another sister?"

"I don't know. He hasn't been successful in putting a sparkling in me or Skywarp yet. He's going to keep trying until he does, though."

"How?"

"Well," I reset my vocalizer. "You see… When two or three people love each other very much they do something called 'interface.' Interface is the act of creating a sparkling, bonding, and the physical act of making love. The thing your sire had in me? That is called a spike and all mechs have one. The hole he was putting it in? That's a valve and all mechs and femmes have them. And our open chestplates, that allows our sparks to connect. When sparks bond they share their coding and create a new spark inside the carrier's spark chamber." I put my servo over my chestplates. "A little spark is formed right here inside of carrier, and it lives off my spark until it's big enough to go into the protoform and live on its own. Usually, that happens just before labor. But sometimes sooner. Making the protoform is a little trickier. It involves the spike and the valve, and some crazy feelings."

"Like what kind of feelings?"

I faintly smiled, feeling sheepish. "Like you are the most special, loved, important, and just.. amazing person ever with someone who only thinks the world of you. Sometimes, it may hurt a little, but when it's good… You'll never want it to end."

I don't know who felt more awkward by the end of the talk… I explained to her the act of interface, the science behind it, how to prevent ITVs, how to keep from becoming sparked, to protect herself, to keep herself clean until she trines, and all the rules Seekers have regarding interface. I gave the same conversation to all of my daughters, especially emphasizing their safety, avoiding unwanted carryings, and keeping themselves virgin and clean.

I was so glad when I had finished, tucked her into berth, and returned to my trinemates. They had returned to fragging, but I didn't join in. I left them to go recharge in my berth. I didn't fall into recharge immediately, just lied there, thinking. She was old enough to know about interface now… And before I would know it she would be experiencing it for herself.

I am not religious, but I couldn't help but say a prayer for my little femmling that her first time would not be like mine. That she would lose her virginity to a trinemate that would love and care for her for all of eternity. That no grounder, no rapist, would touch her in that way, hurt her like that, and leave her permanently scared.

The thought of her going through what Brakelight did to me tore at me. I was always scared about it, but I just thought about it even more now. I couldn't help but start to cry. Remember how he touched me, how he was in me, the horrible pain… How helpless and terrified I was. And I couldn't tell anyone.

I hoped, prayed, and begged anyone, anything that heard me that my daughters would all stay blissfully unaware of that suffering, that pain, that humiliation, and that fear. Keep them safe, whatever divines that may be… I can't always be there to protect them, guide them, and kill for them. Just… Please… Keep my daughters safe.

* * *

It didn't take too long to spark me this time. I was sparked within an orn of Thundercracker starting to breed us. Skywarp took a little longer, but he was soon sparked. I waited an orn before making my carrying public. I informed my carrier, then messaged Gearshift, and then went to go talk to the shuttle about it.

I knocked on the door, and fluttered my wings when it opened.

"Hey, big guy." I smiled.

"Hey, little guy." He smiled back. "Come in and make yourself comfortable, but not too comfortable."

I giggled as I entered and sat on his berth. My wings fluttered, waiting for him to sit down.

"You seem happy." He commented.

"I have mixed emotions right now." I replied.

"How so?"

"Well… I'm happy because my daughters are doing so well in school, they're happy, healthy, safe… I'm just so proud of them."

"You should be. They're amazing little femmlings."

"Yeah, they are." My wings lowered some. "But… then there's the news I'm not as happy about."

"What?"

I was silent a moment, my servos resting over my abdominal plates, then circling over them. "You can probably guess what this means."

His wings lowered some before he rolled his optics. "Seriously? What is that guy's problem? He makes all these sparklings and then doesn't do anything to help take care of them."

"He's a strong trineleader." I vented a sigh. "I'm sparked, Skyfire. There's nothing I can do about it now. I just want your support. I'm going to need it. This is number three. I have to be caring for three and… I had a hard enough time with just one. And Skywarp is also carrying. There will be five to care for and I'm stressed enough about it, and school, and just…" I vented a sigh. "I need a hug." I held out my arms.

His wings lowered all the way before he held out his arms to me. "Come here."

I went over, climbed onto his lap, and hugged him. He held me close, stroking my backplates.

"I'm here for you. Just tell me what you need me to do." He said softly.

"Don't leave me. I don't know how I'll get through this without you."

"I won't leave you."

"Promise."

"I do."

"Thanks, Skyfire."

"No need to thank me. Ever."

"You have anything for upset fuel tanks? Mine feels awful."

"Yeah, I might have something."

"And can I die on your berth? I have a helmache still…"

"You can stay as long as you want."

"Thanks, Skyfire. You're the best."

"I try."

I snuggled against him, optics offlining, wishing I wasn't going through this yet again.

* * *

Not much happened. I went to school, my daughters went to their schools, we all got good grades, Skywarp and I both died from the morning sickness all the time, I got to laugh at Thundercracker dating his servo every night, and when I wasn't feeling ill I helped Zephyr with her homework and just spent time with my two, beautiful, amazing daughters. They were my absolute world.

It was normal like this for about two decacycles when there was a change. Thankfully, we were home when it happened. I was in the living room with the Seekerlets, working on making costumes for Dawn and Storm for they were going to be in a school play. I _love_ the little performances that their school had. My daughter was a cybercat and Storm was a little zap mouse she was going to chase.

I was fitting the costumes on the little ones, noting what I needed to work more on, when Skywarp suddenly came over to me, grasping his chestplates and coolant in his optics.

"Star," He said, scared, in pain, and wanting to cry. "Get Thunder.

I quickly stood up. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

He shook his helm. "It hurts. I-I'm scared."

"I'll get TC" I said quickly before running to the stairs, flying up on my thrusters, and bolting to Thundercracker's room. I palmed the door open and rushed inside. "Thunder! Skywarp needs you!"

"Is it important?" He grunted, lying on his back on his berth, an arm resting over his optics, legs spread and bend, and his other servo pumping his spike.

"Yes! He's in pain in his spark!"

"Hahhnnnnrrrgh!" He growled, still pleasuring himself. "It can't wait?"

"NO!"

He grunted his displeasure before shoving his very hard spike into his codpiece as he folded it. He stood up and went out with me to the living room where Skywarp was starting to sob from the pain.

Thundercracker's wings perked, his optics widening when he saw Skywarp. "What's wrong?" He demanded, going to our brother.

"I-it hurts. I-I don't know why." Skywarp said quickly, wings low. "My sparkling…!"

"We're going to the hospital." He picked him up bridal style. "Starscream, stay here with the Seekerlets."

"Yes, sir." I gave a quick nod of my helm.

Thundercracker carried Skywarp to the balcony door and walked out. I listened to them fly off, nervous about my brother.

"Is Uncle Warp alright?" Dawn asked me.

"I don't know, sweetspark." I replied softly. "Your sire will take care of him. Don't worry." I bit my lower lip plate, hoping everything would be alright.

It was about a joor later when my trinemates returned. Skywarp rushed in, a large, lopsided grin on his faceplates and his wings raised in delight. He ran over and hugged me.

"SCREEEE!" He squealed. "Guess what?!"

"What?" I perked my wings, not sure what was happening.

"The spark split! I have twins in me! EEEEE!" He excited jumped up and down.

My optics widened. "Twins?"

"Yup. Twins." Thundercracker confirmed, smiling.

I was scared at the thought of having to deal with three newly emerges, but Skywarp had always wanted twins, and I knew he would take care of them. I rarely had to do anything to take care of Storm because Skywarp, believe it or not, was very responsible with his creations.

"Congratulations, Warp." I said softly, smiling for him. "I'm so happy for you."

He hugged me again. "Thanks, Star." His wings fluttered madly. "This is the best thing ever. Ohhhh! I can't wait to tell my creators!" He started to bounce again.

"Calm down, Skywarp." Thundercracker placed a servo on his shoulder. "Don't want to upset the two in you."

"Oh, right." He ceased jumped, his servos resting over his abdominal plates. "They need to nap after all of that splitting."

"Twins?" Storm asked.

Skywarp picked him up. "Yup! You're getting _two_ full siblings!"

"Brothers?"

"We don't know yet. Maybe. Maybe sisters."

"Blech!" Storm made a face.

Skywarp giggled. "Maybe one of each." He kissed his son's cheekplates.

I sat down on the couch, silently praying that I would not have the little one in me dividing itself to create more spawns. Thundercracker was wanting it, of course, but I certainly didn't. I watched my daughters, the two playing with each other on their tablets. I vented a sigh, wishing they would be the only ones I would ever have for a long time, but… My trineleader decided otherwise and I just had to obey.

* * *

A few orbital cycles later Skyfire came to see me. At a bad time, of course.

Skywarp opened the door, wings perking. "Hey, fat mech!" He giggled.

Skyfire rolled his optics. "Starscream teach you that?"

"Please, _I'm_ the one corrupting _him_!" He gestured him inside. "Make yourself at home."

"Thanks." Skyfire walked in and went over to the couch where Thundercracker sat with his creations. "Hey, where is-" He stopped when he did spot me. "What's going on?"

Thundercracker didn't even look at him. "Zephyr put up a fuss when I was punishing her carrier and demanded I seek an alternative manner of disciplining him. So, this is it. And it's lovely you came by to add to his humiliation."

Skyfire flicked his wings, his optics narrowing. "May he come with me?"

"Hmm," Thundercracker looked over at me where I was on my knees, in the corner, facing the wall, my arms folded behind my back, and my aft obviously dented from getting an aft beating. "Do you think half a joor of a timeout is enough, Zephyr? You begged him to get that instead, so you tell me."

She narrowed her optics at him. "I told you twenty times he's been there long enough."

Thundercracker shrugged. "Very well. Starscream, you're dismissed."

I got up, keeping my optics on the floor and my wings low. I passed by everyone and went straight to the stairs. Skyfire followed me to my room and closed the door behind us.

"You alright?" He asked.

I rubbed my still sore aft, finally able to do so. "I'm fine. Apparently I mouthed off to him." I vented a sigh as I sat on my berth, my servos resting over my abdominal plates. "This little one is already starting to kick. It's super faint, but… I can feel it."

Skyfire sat beside me. "Do you know what you'll designate this one?"

"I want to find the gender first. You know how I am." I faintly smiled. "I bet a femmling. I have two already so probably will be another."

"I know you didn't want to be sparked and everything… But are you even a little bit excited?"

"I don't know how to explain it… I'm excited to see my sparkling, to hold her, or him, and take care of them… To love them and… Have my sparkling. But… I don't want to be having to take them to school, care for them when I have homework to do, and be stuck at home all the time because I can't leave them."

"You know, you could pay Zephyr to sparklingsit. She's old enough."

"Storm can be difficult to control. I think I would be more comfortable if she was older before leaving her in charge of him. Dawn is harmless. She's needy, but never acts up. We'll see how these new ones are. Three sparklings… Ugh…"

"At least you're not the one with the twins."

"Small mercies." I leaned against him. "Will you be there for when this one comes out?"

"I'll try my best."

I fluttered my wings, snuggling against him. "You're the best."

"I try to be."

I gave him a quick kiss on the cheekplates. "You know… Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if… You were the sire instead."

His faceplates warmed up as he sheepishly smiled. He scratched the back of his helm, so embarrassed. "That's… An interesting thought."

"Yeah… And I would designate the little one something like… Starfire." I giggled.

"Let's try to be a bit more unique."

I giggled again, then just hugged him. He stroked my back before petting my helm.

"How about we do our homework."

I nodded. "Okay, big guy."

* * *

Three decacycles passed with nothing interesting happening. Just school, homework, dying from morning sickness, the usual things. We found out that I had a femmling in me, which didn't surprise me. I was happy to have another little princess on the way. I was simply meant to raise princesses. Skywarp, we were not sure what he had in him yet, having to wait a bit longer to check him since he was sparked later.

But, we were in for an awful surprise.

It was night, and my trinemates and I were recharging together on Thundercracker's berth. Our trineleader in the middle as he held us close to him. I onlined, wings perking when I heard something. I looked across Thundercracker's broad chestplates and saw Skywarp clutching his chestplates, hissing and whimpering softly.

"Sky?" I asked softly, slowly propping myself up by an elbow, being careful not to online Thunder.

Skywarp looked over, dim optics shining in the darkness. "I-it hurts. My spark." He said softly.

"Like, burning?"

He nodded, coolant starting to leak from his optics. "It really hurts. I'm scared." He gasped softly, then grit his denta. "A-and it hurts here." He placed a servo over his abdominal plates."

That made me quite concerned. "Thunder!" I shook him. "Thunder, online!"

"Mmm-wut?" He lazily onlined, then startled as he quickly sat up. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I-I need to s-see a doctor." Skywarp was sobbing now, in so much pain, his wings trembling.

"What's wrong?" Thundercracker quickly got off the berth and picked Skywarp up bridal style.

"S-something's wrong with my sparklings!" He cried, clinging to Thundercracker.

"Starscream, stay and watch the Seekerlets. I'll call you if I need you." He instructed before walking out.

I lowered my wings, watching them leave. I bit my lower lip plate, anxious for my brother and his little sparklings. I got out of berth and went to check on my daughters. Zephyr was recharging on her berth, bundled in blankets for the night was cold. I gently kissed her on the helm, thankful she was safe and alive. I then went to see Dawn, who was also bundled in many blankets with all her toys around her. She was so well bundled she could barely move her limbs. Something I am quite proud of. I have skills when it comes to cocooning my precious daughters. I kissed her helm, studied her a moment, then went to check on Storm. He was spread out on his berth, his blankets all haven fallen off and onto the floor. I picked them up, covered them over him, and kissed his brow.

I went to my room and lied on my berth, but was unable to fall into recharge. I just silently prayed to a entity I didn't believe in to keep Skywarp and his unborn creations safe.

It would be a couple of joors later when Thundercracker called me on the commlink.

::Starscream." His vocalizer was unusually soft. ::Ask Gunsmoke and Silvertone to watch the Seekerlets and get to the hospital. We need to be together for this.::

I felt my spark dropping. "What's wrong?"

He didn't answer immediately. ::He… One of the twins died.::

I gasped, my jaw dropping and optics widening. "I-I'll be right over." I said quickly, coolant pooling in my optics.

I hung up and left the apartment. I got in the elevator to the next floor, then rung the doorbell to the apartment where Gunsmoke and Silvertone lived. I had to ring several times before Gunsmoke answered the door.

"Starscream? What's wrong?" He asked tiredly.

"I-I'm sorry to b-bother you, sir." I said as I started to sob. "Th-there's been a…" I swallowed. "Skywarp lost one of his sparklings. I-I need to go to the hospital. C-could you watch the younglings? Th-they're still in recharge. Th-they don't know yet."

Gunsmoke's optics dimmed. "I'm so sorry, Starscream. Yes, we'll watch them. Is the code the same?"

I nodded. "Yes. Zephyr will help you w-with the younger two. Thank you, Gunsmoke."

"Don't mention it. I'll go down there in a moment and stay with them."

"Thank you, so much." I then turned and ran down the hallway, opened a window, leaped out, and transformed. I flew over to the hospital, breaking the sound barrier as I raced. I soon arrived at the hospital, met up with Thunder in the waiting room, and followed him to the room where Skywarp was being kept. My wings dropped when I saw my brother. Skywarp was on a medberth, crying into his servos. He had some wires hooked to him, for they were preparing him for surgery. I approached and sat beside him. "I'm so sorry, Skywarp…"

He reached out and hugged me, crying into my chassis. I hugged him back, coolant leaking from my own optics. He couldn't speak, just cried.

Thundercracker sat on a chair on the other side of him, his wings low, optics dim, but otherwise not showing much emotion. I knew he was hurting. He loved his creations and losing one, despite not even meeting them yet, was so hard on him. It was hard on all of us.

It was almost a breem before the doctor came in again. "Skywarp, are you ready for the procedure?" He asked gently.

Skywarp swallowed, a servo resting on his abdominal plates. He wiped at his optics before nodding.

"It won't be long. And you'll be back online very soon."

Thundercracker and I had to wait outside, but just as the doctor said, it wasn't long. What happened was the two sparks were different sizes. This happened because they didn't split right, or one simply managed to feed off Skywarp's spark more so than the other which was weaker to begin with. The smaller spark couldn't keep up and continued to get weaker and weaker. So, Skywarp's spark ended up consuming the weak spark that had become more of a parasite than an actual thriving spark. It had no hope of making it. Due to the spark being killed, which brought Skywarp the pain in his spark, the protoform connected to that spark convulsed and died inside of him. The operation was going to remove the dead protoform to not only give room to the live one, but ensure it wouldn't interfere when Skywarp had to give birth, nor become a parasitic twin, or harm Skywarp in some other manner.

They cut him open, got inside of his gestation tank, removed the dead protoform, and closed him back up. Skywarp was online soon after and on quite a few pain dampeners. They asked him if he wanted to see the protoform, which he nodded to.

I watched silently as Skywarp held his dead son - for we found out he had mechlings in him - and bawled his spark out. Thundercracker held him close, studying the limp body before him. I couldn't watch. I left and sat in the waiting room, my servos resting over my abdominal plates. My daughter was safe. She was still alive. I kept my optics offline, feeling her kicking inside of me, reminding me that she was fine. I don't know what I would do if I lost my own sparkling. I was just thankful Skywarp still at least had one still alive. If he had lost both… I couldn't imagine his pain.

We stayed for a couple of more joors before Skywarp could say his final farewell and let the body go. He signed out a form to have the body sent to a morgue until we could buy a small casket for him. We returned home and Skywarp locked himself in his room and stayed there crying. Thundercracker didn't say a word either as he left to his room.

I thanked Gunsmoke and Silverline, and they only gave us condolences and offerings of their help. I found myself tasked with apprising the Seekerlets of what happened. Zephyr was shocked, and the two younger ones bawled out their optics. I called Skyfire and told him as I cried, then informed my carrier. It was a hard orbital cycle for everyone.

We bought the casket and two orbital cycles later we were at Vos in the catacombs burying the little one in the family plot for Skywarp's carrier's line.

Some may think we went "too far" with how we handled a deceased sparkling who hadn't been born yet, but he was still a sparkling. A little life and Skywarp's son. He deserved to have his honor even after death.

Not much happened for the next three decacycles. Thundercracker was quieter than usual and Skywarp cried often. But, we stuck to the same routine. Mourn and move on. We are warriors and being warriors means we must learn how and when to grieve, and how to pick ourselves back up and move past in order to continue the war. Non-Seekers may not view it as being very mentally healthy, but it's how we are taught to handle tragedy. We wouldn't have been able to survive as a sub-species if we didn't learn to keep fighting despite losing everyone we loved.

It was in the night when I went into labor. I was snuggled against my trineleader, onlining to a sudden, piercing pain from my gestation tank. I knew instantly what was happened.

"Thunder." I shook him. "Thunder, online. I'm in labor."

"Mmm?" He onlined slowly. "What?"

"Our daughter is coming. I need to get to the hospital."

He nodded, calmer now since this was his fourth time dealing with a trinemate in labor. "Alright, let's get you to the hospital." He shook Skywarp online. "Star is in labor. Do you want to stay with the Seekerlets?"

"Yeah, I'll be here." Skywarp nodded.

"I'll call you if I need you." He kissed him, then got out of berth, picked me up bridal style, and rushed me to the hospital.

Unlike my first two creations, this one only had me in labor for half a joor. She came out before the doctor even got into the room. The nurses delivered her.

"And, here she is!" One of the nurses smiled as he caught my daughter and held her up.

My daughter cried, kicking her miniscule legs as her arms reached out for her carrier.

I perked my wings, quickly sitting up. I reached out for her, but the nurses cleaned her off, bundled her in a towel, and then handed her to me. I purred my engine, holding her close. She ceased her crying when I softly spoke to her, her tiny servos grasping onto me. Thundercracker sat beside me, an arm around my waist and a servo cupping the little bundle I held.

"We make beautiful femmes." He remarked, kissing me on the cheekplates.

I smiled. "Yeah… We really do." I kissed our daughter's brow. "Is that why you keep putting femmlings in me? Because we make better looking femmlings?" I smirked.

He chuckled. "You give me the daughters and Skywarp gives me the sons."

I fluttered my wings, purring my engine when he pressed his brow against mine. "I'm fine with only having femmlings."

His engine purred loudly. "I love you."

"Love you, more."

He kissed me on the lip plates. "You haven't told me your final decision on her designation."

I faintly smiled. "Tempest."

* * *

Almost an orn later Skywarp went into labor. He had to have a C-section because his son was having trouble coming out. But, they got the surviving twin safely removed, and he came out screaming. Skywarp was very protective of him, and even flared his wings at Thundercracker. It was understandable. He had lost a sparkling and his maternal programming was kicking in strongly. But, little Skyblast was healthy, strong, and hungry. He was nursing like a starving tank-built. I wasn't sure if I wanted to help refuel him if he bit like that all the time…

Skywarp definitely was doing better with his son out and ready to explore the universe. Tempest took after her sire's side, like Dawn, and had yellow optics. Skyblast's optics were more of a magenta-ish color. Probably something to do with being a twin, or possibly from Skywarp's paternal side. Whatever the reason, he was an adorable sparkling.

I didn't have to do much with taking care of Tempest. My other two daughters pampered her and were always ready to help take care of her. I still had to clean out the waste tank and deal with her biting me when refueling, but I didn't mind. I was getting use to this life of having a little sparkling while also juggling academy and my pathetic attempt at a social life.

I know I keep saying it, but I love my daughters so much. Even if I didn't want them at the time I had them, I still love them. And… Maybe I wouldn't change things. Because if not for them who knows where my life would have gone to instead.

Things were going alright, but I was feeling depressed. I think I had postpartum depression again, but I didn't treat it. I just told myself I wouldn't do the drugs, I wouldn't fall into temptation. I concentrated on caring for my daughters, my school, and keeping the apartment clean. I felt miserable, but I fought against it best I could.

It was about a decacycle, well, over a decacycle, when something happened that would lead to a very major change in my life.

I walked into Skywarp's room to do some cleaning, but found him crying on his berth. I lowered my wings and sat beside him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

He wiped at his optics, holding Skyblast on his lap. "I just… I was talking to TC about… Stuff."

"What stuff?"

"Breeding… You know, since I lost a sparkling and both times I've been in labor I had to have a C-section… I-I was asking if he would breed me again despite all of that and he.. H-he said he didn't think he would."

My optics widened some. "Why not? Anyone could have lost a sparkling like that. It's not uncommon, actually."

"He said that… He said you are a better breeding partner. You haven't had any problems with carrying, a-and you have an easy time with labor."

"My first two took forever to get out, and I get postpartum depression. I'm not any better."

"Y-you're a prince."

"So?"

"Your coding is better."

"Your coding is fine."

"I'm a bastard, Star." He turned to me. "M-my creators were never trined or joined. I'm disgusting. Y-you're royalty. You're everything someone wants in a perfect breeding partner to ensure good coding, good looks, and bearing creations."

I had to flick my wings at that. "Firstly, you're not 'disgusting.' Secondly, I'm from a breeding mate. I'm not as special as one of sire's creations from his trinemates. I came from someone he fragged simply because he needed more bodies to carry his offspring. Not because he loved my carrier so deeply he wanted to create someone with their love. And, thirdly, if Thundercracker was so concerned about perfect coding and all of that, why would he, as traditional as he is, trine a bastard? That doesn't make sense."

"I didn't tell him until after trining."

"And he still bred with you. _Twice_!"

"He's bred you three times and wants to do it at least seven more times. He told me himself. You are his preferred breeding mate. He wanted a prince for more than just bragging rights. You… He wanted you for your looks, your skinny, little frame, and your coding. I wanted you for who you are."

I was silent a moment. "He wants me for who I am as well."

"Yeah? Why do you think he has to punish you all the time? Star, I am hardly ever punished. I _behave_ and am an almost perfect trinemate to him. He spent the first few stellar cycles of us being together punishing me and turning me into that well-behaved trinemate. You, he's still _punishing_ you and punishing you at _least_ five times an orn, every orn, for stellar cycles. You got an aft beating just yesterday even! And I bet you'll get another tomorrow! Like, it's almost clockwork of knowing when the next beating will be. Hell, you even get up to ten beatings in a single orbital cycle sometimes. You really think he trined you for someone who acts up _that_ much? How often does he punch me? Never. How often does he punch you in the face? Last time was five orbital cycles ago. He's always fighting you over interface because you never want it, and all you do is complain, fight him, and piss him off. He didn't trine you for your attitude or mouth. He trined you because your valve is tight, your waist is thin, your heredity, and you look so damn hot you might as well be a porn star."

That hurt. I flicked my wings and narrowed my optics before standing. "That's a damn lie!" I shouted. "He trined me because he loves me! He even said so to his sire when Steelwing accused him of the same thing!"

"Oh, you know I'm right, pretty, little prince. With your tiny waist, big hips, pert aft, scrumptious breastplates, and your winsome visage. Sure you're not a femme?"

I had enough. I stormed out of the room with coolant in my optics. I knew he wasn't right. Of course not! Thundercracker saw more in me than just my valve and body. And I would prove it. I palmed the door open to Thundercracker's room and hugged him as he sat at his desk.

"Hey, there." He patted my arms as they wrapped around his chestplates. "Need something?"

"I do." I said softly.

He heard my vocalizer and knew something was wrong. He turned the chair around and faced me. I took a couple of steps back, wings low.

"What's wrong?" He asked, wings perking.

I didn't speak right away. "Thundercracker… I was wondering… Why did you trine me?"

He cocked his helm ever so slightly. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. Was it because I'm a prince?"

He smirked. "I trined you for several reasons. Being a prince was a perk, of course, but not the primary reason I trined you."

That made me feel a little better. "Why did you trine me?"

He stood up. "Well, who wouldn't want to trine you? You're gorgeous, absolutely beautiful, and fast, a great warrior, intelligent…"

"And our personalities, matched, right?" I faintly smirked.

"Well, yeah, I suppose that's another."

My smiled faded. "Did you trine me because I could have strong sparklings?"

"Of course. Being able to produce strong, healthy sparklings is a must for any trineleader. And you being a prince certainly proved you have good coding. You already have produced three beautiful and healthy femmlings. And with no problems at all. Skywarp can't even do that."

"So… I'm a better breeding mate?"

"Absolutely."

I swallowed. "So… You trined me because of my looks and who my creators are?"

"What's wrong? That's the most important thing in finding a trinemate."

I was hurt. I pushed back at him before quickly taking a couple of steps back. "Y-you trined me because you wanted a pretty face to bear your creations!?"

He was certainly surprised. "What? I trined you because you were the perfect trinemate."

"What about my personality?! What about me as an individual who has desires, dreams, ideas, inspirations, a-and my own life?! Does that not matter?!"

"Starscream, you need to calm down." He snapped.

"You only wanted a pretty face and nice valve! You didn't want _me_!" I pointed to myself, coolant leaking from my optics. "Y-you wanted my body! You wanted to brag about the-the pretty creature on the end of your chain! The perfect specimen to breed!" I paused, started to cry harder. "Y-you don't love me… Y-you love my body."

"Starscream, you are-" He started in a strict vocalizer.

I couldn't take anymore of it. I bolted out of his room, down the stairs, and out the balcony door. I leaped off the balcony, transformed, broke the sound barrier, and sped away, crying my spark out. I felt… Like my spark had been torn right out of me and stomped on before my optics.

My wonderful, amazing, protective trineleader… didn't actually love me. I was just a tool for him to use to make sparklings and to get some enjoyment out of. No wonder he hurt me all the time. He didn't love me. He didn't…

I cried until I arrived at Skyfire's dorm, my fists banging on the door desperately. He quickly opened the door and I instantly hugged him, crying into his chassis. His optics widened, then he gently hugged me back.

"Let's get you inside." He said gently as he pulled me in, then closed the door. He led me to his berth, sat on it, and allowed me to sit on his lap, still clinging to him. He just held me, stroking my backplates to soothe me. "What did he do?" He asked after a while.

"H-he doesn't l-love me." I choked out, sobbing heavily.

"I know." He said in the same vocalizer. "What did he do this time to make you realize it?"

"H-he admitted th-that he only trined me b-because I-I'm a prince a-and he w-wanted me j-just because of my codi-ing and looks. N-not because of wh-who I am."

"I told you he was no good. Just cry. You can stay here for as long as you want. I'm here for you."

"Y-you like me f-for me, r-right?" I looked up at him.

"It's why we're friends." He smiled at me.

I hugged him tightly, and just cried my spark out. It was some time before I was burnt out and just rested against him, silent as I thought.

"Are you leaving him?" Skyfire asked after I had been quiet for a bit.

"I can't." I answered barely louder than a whisper. "I have three sparklings with him, I am bound to him, and… I can't leave Skywarp. I love him and he would die without me." I paused. "I still love Thundercracker… I just… I need time to process this. I guess."

"Let me know if you need anything."

I wiped at my optics with the cloth Skyfire had given me in the midst of my bawling. I reset my optics a few times, and collected myself. I just let my mind wander… I loved Thundercracker… I couldn't leave him, especially not when I had three creations with him, one being only a decacycle old. I needed him to provide for us. And if I was going to be going to academy full-time I needed him to be working the job. And I couldn't leave Skywarp. I would die if I had to say good-bye to him.

There had to be something there! Sometimes… The interface with Thundercracker was good. And he felt like he loved me when he kissed me… But… None of his kisses were like Skywarp's or… Skyfire's.

My wings perked. Skyfire did make me feel wonderful… And I really could use that right now.

"Skyfire?"

"Yes?"

I bit my lower lip plate, silent a moment before speaking. "Do… Remember when we kissed?"

"Um, yeah… I do." He said slowly.

"It felt really nice, right?"

"Yeah… It did." He slowly nodded.

I hesitated. "Could we kiss again?"

"Why?" He gave me a puzzled look.

"Because… I need to feel like someone loves me… I…" I swallowed. "I really need someone right now. I just need to feel something other than… this." I gestured with my servos to show my miserable life.

Skyfire bit his lower lip plate as he thought. "Maybe… A kiss would be alright…"

I fluttered my wings. I had been wanting to learn more about what had gone on between us before so… This would provide that and me feeling better. I adjusted myself on his lap, got my faceplates in his, and rested my servos on his shoulders.

"Remember what I taught you?" I faintly smirked.

He nodded, a servo rested on my hip and the other on the back of my helm. I intook sharply, then let it out slowly, preparing for this. I offlined my optics before our lip plates touched. He was bad. It had been stellar cycles since we had kissed so… He was out of practice from that one time. But he tried. I mouthed him, and he copied best he could. We just… Kept kissing. I didn't want to stop… Probably because I was so hurt and so desperate for love. Real love. And him… I don't know why he kept kissing. But he did. And as we kept kissing, the passion grew. He held me closer, tightly, firmly. I wasn't going anywhere. I pressed my codpiece against his, feeling my valve clenching. Our glossas got out and started to wrestle with each other, and my arms wrapped around his helm, deepening the kiss.

I don't know how long we kissed for, but our frames were heating, cooling fans whirling loudly, and our intimacy demanding sinful pleasures. Somehow, his servo ended up holding my aft, and my valve was lubricating.

I bit my lower lip plate, my body screaming for interface, for… Skyfire. I looked him in the optics, and I knew he wanted me. The way he bit his lip plate, how sheepish and yet…. pitiful he gazed at me. Like he wanted to ask but was so scared about all of this.

I don't know why I said it. I don't know why I even asked for the kiss in the first place. But… Something drove me to say this, to do this, and I had no more control of my body.

"Skyfire…" I said barely louder than a whisper, my faceplates in his. "Take me."

His optics widened. "W-what?"

I swallowed, trembling, knowing that I was committing adultery, but I had to do this. There was nothing else for me. "Please… I need you. Skyfire… I-I want to interface with you. I…" I didn't know what else to say so I kissed him instead.

He didn't react for a moment, and my servos roved over his body, sending electrical currents into his transformation seams. That got him to do something. He knew he wanted it to, and that was the final push. Trembling, his servos felt along the sides of my frame, groping over my chestplates.

I just couldn't wait. My codpiece was off and my servos grasping at his desperately. He opened it, and I reached for his spike, soon having it harden as I pumped it. He tensed, ceasing the kissing to look at me.

"Star, I-I'm not sure-" He stuttered.

I looked at him. "I'm going to be your first." I said firmly. "And we both are going to enjoy this."

"But… My first should be my Conjunx…"

I gave him a look. "Then maybe I will be. Shut up." I snapped, needing my interface.

He didn't argue anymore. I lifted myself up, then slowly lowered myself onto him. I gasped loudly, feeling him stretching me. He squeaked, clutching me. I adjusted myself, taking a moment to get use to him. I fluttered my wings before beginning to lift myself up and down, gasping and moaning. His servos held my hips, his optics dim. I kissed him on his lip plates, hungrily taking as much of his body as I could get to interact with mine.

Somehow, I ended up pushing him over and was on top of him, riding his spike. We were both making such a ruckus, moaning, gasping, panting… But I loved it, and he did as well. And sometime during this he rolled over and I was beneath him. I grasped his arms as he pounded into me, helpless beneath him. But it was nothing like being beneath Thundercracker. It was firm, it was hard, but… it didn't hurt. It was wonderful. And how he looked at me… With that sheepish smirk, the glimmer in his optics, how he giggled whenever I moaned too loud or there was some other weird sound or something. It wasn't about lust or the need to frag. It was having fun, enjoyment, and… love. He was making love to me. He was enjoying making himself and myself feel good. And it was fun. It was amazing. I never wanted it to end. And he didn't either. He didn't hold me down to keep me in place. He held me because he couldn't let go of me. He kissed me because he had to. He couldn't keep from feeling my lips on his. It was… Everything about this interface… Was unlike any interface I had ever had.

And when we came… The pure ecstasy of our love sent us into pulsating waves of bliss, searing through our overheated bodies and into the metal around us. I cried, he growled, and we were left panting, smiling, and our optics locked onto each others.

"Wow…" I managed between pants after a bit.

"Yeah… Wow." He panted, smiling sheepishly.

I pulled his helm down, pressing our brows together as my engine purred. "I… I loved that." I paused. "I love you."

He swallowed, feeling so awkward about this. "Yeah… I love you, too."

I giggled. "You know… You're so awkward talking about interface because you're a virgin. But, you're not anymore. And I'm the one you fragged. So… You have no more excuses when I talk about my interface life."

His wings lowered. "We… Shouldn't have done this. I…"

"Skyfire… You're not bound to anyone, and I… I needed this. I need someone who loves me." I paused. "I think… That deep down… We always knew."

He slowly nodded. "Yeah… I think so, too."

I kissed him softly on the lip plates. "I want to do this again. I want to always be doing it."

"I do too." He paused. "Let's take things slow…"

"I want to frag you."

"We can't let your trine know."

"Absolutely not."

"And I rather not tell my creators."

"This is between us."

"Absolutely."

I kissed him again. "You really are my best friend." I fluttered my wings. "Maybe… We can get kinky at some time. Skywarp does with me sometimes." I smirked. "I'm growing on it and think we should implement some things."

"Slow, Starscream."

"Alright…" I kissed him again. "Let's cuddle now."

He smiled. "Yes, lets."

* * *

I returned home late that night. I knew what was coming to me so I didn't bother sneaking around. Not like I could. He was waiting there in the living room.

"Where the hell were you?" He snapped.

I lowered my wings. "I went to hang out with Skyfire." I said softly. "I-I didn't mean to stay out so late… I lost track of time." I swallowed. "Should I lean over the couch or my berth?"

"Couch. I want to get started immediately." He growled, standing up, the double-over cable in his servo.

I obediently walked over to the couch and lied over the arm, making sure my aft was as high as possible. Coolant started to leak from my optics, and I flinched when he grasped my helm and forced it up. He put the gag in my mouth and tied it painfully tight, hurting my jaw pistons. Everyone else was in recharge by now, so he didn't want me to online them. I grasped the couch in front of me and tensed.

He began to lash my aft hard and fast, not holding back at all. I remained still, biting down hard on the gag. I had been getting better about remaining silent when punished. I was able to be completely silent for about ten lashes before I started to hiss, then whimper, and eventually start to cry and scream.

He kept lashing, striking my poor aft so hard, ignoring my suffering to ensure I learned my lesson. And he kept this up for nearly a breem before stopping. He removed the gag before speaking.

"Go to your room." He snapped.

I got up, a bawling mess now. I went up the stairs, rubbing my hurting aft, then went into my room. I picked Tempest up from her crib and lied on my berth, holding her close as I cried. She onlined, whimpering, scared as to why her carrier was so upset.

"Shhh, shhh, i-it's alright, Tempest. Carrier m-misbehaved and had to be punished." I swallowed. "It's alright. Y-your sire knows best. H-he may not love me, b-but he's still the trineleader a-and he takes c-care of his trine." I kissed her on the cheekplates. "I won't leave him… H-he doesn't love m-me, but he still c-cares for me… A-and he takes care of m-my daughters. I love y-you, Tempest. And if… If staying with a trineleader who doesn't l-love me means providing the best life for my daughters… So be it. You three will always come first. No matter what. I will stay with him.. I will fight, leak, kill, and die for you… I can handle it… And Skywarp needs me." I exhaled heavily. "Maybe… Maybe he'll love me for who I am in the future. Or not…" I wiped at my optics as fresh coolant pooled in them. "Trine till the bitter end…" I said more to myself than her. "I'm his until the bitter end. I-I said my vows…" I swallowed. "I can get my love from someone else… And he can provide everything else that a trineleader does…. I can do this." I turned to her again. "For my daughters, I can do anything." I kissed her brow. "Recharge, Tempest. Carrier will be fine. I'll be fine."

I lie to myself all the time…

* * *

 **Next chapter is gonna be hell. MWUAHAHAHA!**

 **I didn't go into too much detail about "The Talk" because I did in _Illicitus_. Go read that to see the detailed talk. Or read my headcannon notes. It's the same thing in all my fics. **

**I also didn't go into too much detail about Star fragging Skyfire because I already have written a very... informed scene between them having their first time and I don't want to repeat it. Plus, Starscream is telling the story. He wants to keep some details to himself. ;)**

 **Starfire is a reference to Starfire in _Illicitus_. Duh. :P**

 **There are many operations done in the uterus to remove unborn babies, operate on them to save them, etc. And much safer than abortion... Safer to SAVE a baby than KILL a baby!**

 **Skyfire was not going to be a love interest originally. But, I changed it because many times when someone is in a loveless and/or abusive relationship they are so desperate to find love and be with someone who cares for them that they will cheat to find it. Skyfire cares for him, and Starscream is in a bad place mentally. He NEEDS someone to love him, to show him that having interface isn't this brutal thing forced on you, and to just feel like he's special to someone. So, him cheating with Skyfire is something he does to help himself. When in reality it's better to dump the abuser than to just have a relationship with multiple people... And also, Starscream is one who doesn't mind having an "open marriage." As seen in my other fics, especially _Illicitus_...**

 **And if you noticed, Starscream was very much in control of most of his interface with Skyfire. He was being dominant a lot. He's more himself with Skyfire because he feels safe. He's coming out of his shell more and more. And he's toughening himself. He's slowly preparing to make the big change in his life, even if he doesn't realize it yet.**

 **Okay, gonna try to get one more chapter done before I return to college... Ugh...**


	14. I End It All

**Chapter 14**

"Oh, Primus! Hah! YES!" I moaned, writhing beneath my best friend as he humped me with all his lust and passion. "Oh… Hahh." I pulled his helm down into a hungry kiss, our forbidden affair only growing stronger with each time we touched, whispered to the other, and lost control of our bodies.

Skyfire kissed me on the neck cables, his powerful arms holding me close, possessively, lovingly. I lolled my helm back, allowing him access to my neck, giving him all of me however he wanted it. I didn't feel the need to submit and obey like I did with Thundercracker. I just felt… Like I wanted him to have me. All of me. And for him to have at me however he wanted to because he just made me feel so damn good.

We had been fragging whenever we were together at Skyfire's dorm. We couldn't help ourselves. Once we had a taste of the forbidden fruit we needed all of the tree's harvest. We couldn't interface when at my place because of listening audio receptors, but when at his place… We couldn't control ourselves. The moment I entered the room I would find myself on his berth, our servos all over each others frame, and his spike in me. We would get an overload in, break to do homework, then frag again, do homework, frag, repeat the cycle. We even fragged while doing homework.

And when we sat together in class we ached to just interface right then and there. We both had to sit with crossed legs, cooling fans whirling, and biting our lip plates until they leaked. When at my place, we sometimes sneaked a few kisses in, but we had to be very careful. Thundercracker never let me be alone in the apartment with Skyfire. Thankfully, he only thought we did boring homework together still. He didn't suspect anything.

"Argh!" Skyfire growled as he overloaded into me, wings flicking from the excess energy flowing into them.

My wings fluttered. "Don't leave me hanging, big guy."

He panted over me. "One moment."

"No moment!" I purred my engine. "Hump me!"

"Shhh." He kissed me silent. "One moment."

I just smile, engine purring. "Love you."

He smiled back. "Love you, too."

"Love you despite how fat you are." I giggled.

He rolled his optics. "Be nice, sillyhelm."

"I'm fabulous!"

"You are. And very, very cute." He kissed me.

"Cuter than your aft!"

"Not so loud." He pecked another kiss to my lip plates before resuming his thrusting,

I moaned, gasping softly with each thrust. "I want to do, hah, this every orbital cycle."

"We pretty much do."

"MORE! I NEED MORE!"

"Shhh." He kissed me. "Calm down. You get way too worked up."

I giggled. "You work your aft!"

"My aft is better than yours."

"LIES!"

"Star, shhh. There are people on the other side of these walls. This is a dorm building. The walls are plastic. Not like the walls in your apartment."

"I don't care if they hear us. Oh, they need to know that I am keeping you to myself."

"It's rude to them. They're studying and recharging. And we don't need someone to hear something and your trinemates find out."

"Then…. Make me be quiet." I smiled.

"As you wish." He kissed me silent, thrusting into me harder.

I wrapped my arms around his helm, holding him close as he made love to me. I overloaded soon enough, and as I cooled off he got another overload in. We kissed as we cooled off, then he pulled out, we cuddled, and eventually got back to doing homework before I had to leave him.

I returned to the apartment and was greeted by five beautiful Seekerlets. Tempest demanded my utmost attention, whining whenever I tried to set her back down. She was the neediest of my daughters thus far. And I was alright with it.

"Hey, sexy." I sat beside Skywarp, placing Tempest on my lap. "How are you?"

"Meh." He kept his optics on Skyblast who was chewing a toy while sitting on his carrier's lap.

I kissed my trinemate on the cheekplates, wings fluttering. "Love you."

He faintly smirked. "Love you, too."

I pressed my brow against his. "Need me to do anything for you?"

"I'm fine… Just tired."

"Tired?"

"Just… stress… And Skyblast kept crying during the night."

"Why are you stressed?"

He swallowed, taking a moment. "Just… Thinking how Skyblast will be my last one and… cherishing him being so small… B-because I'll never have another little sparkling." Coolant started to leak from his optics as his vocalizer began to break. "I'll have to just watch you have them… I'll never get to carry again."

My wings drooped. I gently rubbed my cheekplates against his, purring my engine to sooth him. "I'll do my best to get him to give you another. I promise."

"H-he's not gonna listen to you, Star."

"I can be very persuasive." I faintly smirked.

"H-he wants his prince…"

I flicked my wings, but remained silent. He was hurt, and it wasn't his fault. I kissed him instead. "I'll get you some cake." I then whispered to him so only he could hear. "I'll let you take me however you so desire."

"Now?"

I nodded. "Now or later. Whichever my trinemate desires."

"I could use some love right now." He said softly.

I kissed him. "Let's do it, then."

He stood up and I followed. We left the elder three and went into Skywarp's room. The newest arrivals were placed in a crib with some toys, and us carriers got on the berth.

"So?" I perked my wings. "What do you want?"

"Kinky?" He gave the world's smallest wing flutter.

I faintly smiled. "I can do kinky."

His wings fluttered more. "Can I gag and blindfold you?"

"I… guess so."

"This will be fun." He then got up, and dug through a drawer before returning with the necessary items. He gently placed a gag in my mouth, nothing like how Thundercracker did it. Skywarp never hurt me when gagging me. He placed a blindfold over my optics, then manacled my wrists. "Comfortable?"

I gave a wing flutter to let him know nothing was hurting me.

"I want your aft in the air and your face in the berth."

I did as he commanded, sticking my aft up, my lower half on the berth, and keeping my legs spread apart. I removed my codpiece, and soon had him pleasuring my valve. I moaned, wings fluttering, the sensation stronger with my other senses blocked. He then shoved a vibrator into me, gave me only a moment to adjust then turned it on at full power.

I couldn't stay in position and soon was rolling around on the berth, moaning and writhing pathetically. He grabbed me and forced me to lie on my front, but I kept squirming. He grabbed my helm and did something to the gag, then hopped onto my back.

I suddenly felt the metal on my mouth being pulled, digging into the corners against my pistons. I could open my mouth now, but the metal bar was still in there, pulling. Then I felt a sharp, evil sting on my aft.

"Giddy up!" Skywarp bounced on me, tugging the chains he was using as reins.

I rolled my optics and grumbled a few curses. Why did I agree to this? I yelped when he lashed that damn crop against my rear again.

"Move!"

I managed to get up on all fours, but the slagger was too heavy. And he kept bouncing on me. And that vibrator was not helping!

"Run around the room!" He gave me another lash.

Frag him. I hate him now.

* * *

Thundercracker came home later that orbital cycle. He smiled when seeing his creations.

"Sire!" Dawn and Storm shouted as they ran over to him and leaped into his open arms.

"Hey, my precious creations." He kissed them on their brows, wings fluttering. "Love you two so much."

"Love you, too, sire!" Dawn proclaimed.

"Love you!" Storm snuggled against him.

Thundercracker purred his engine, soaking up their boundless love. He never could get enough of his creations and their adorableness.

"Where's your carriers?"

"Upstairs." Storm replied.

"With the sparklings." Dawn added.

"Can sire go see them?"

"No! Play with us!" Dawn demanded.

"Sire will. I promise." He kissed them both again. "Let me make sure they didn't kill each other over the color of the curtains or something…" He grunted.

The little ones allowed him to stand back up and go to the stairs. He scaled them, stopped outside Skywarp's door, then palmed it open. He was not amused in the slightest with what he saw.

"Jump!" Skywarp commanded, kicking his heels into me.

"Nnnnngh…" I groaned, absolutely exhausted as I pathetically still carried him on all fours.

Somehow, the need for interface left after only two overloads and Skywarp instead turned me into another kind of mount performing at a show with jumps and other obstacles. And he never let up. It was embarrassing, I was not enjoying it, but he was having the time of his life.

Thundercracker watched us silently for a moment before finally letting his presence be known. "What the hell are you doing?"

I froze, wings lowering before looking up at him, biting down on the bit. Skywarp wasn't ashamed in the slightest.

"Riding Scree. If we keep practicing he'll be ready to jump through flaming hoops." He giggled, kicking me again, but I refused to move.

"Firstly…" Thundercracker started slowly. "You both are _idiots_. Secondly, Skywarp, you're going to damage his spinal strut making him carry all your weight like that. Thirdly… Why did you force my sparklings to bear witness to your stupidity?"

"They're judging Star's performance." Skywarp replied matter-of-factly.

Thundercracker rolled his optics. "If you break him you are paying for his medical bills."

"He won't be broken." Skywarp reassured him before kicking me again.

Thundercracker walked to the crib and picked up his sparklings. "I'm fragging the both of you tonight, so Skywarp… Leave something for me."

"Will do!" He giggled, kicking me and giving my aft a couple of more swats with the crop.

I growled my engine and waited for Thundercracker to leave before resuming my pathetic crawling on the floor.

My trinemate sucks and I hate him…

* * *

I was thankfully released from Skywarp and later found myself beneath my trineleader as I lied on my back on my berth. He kissed me passionately, pounding into me brutally as he always did, needing to get some release. I panted, moaning from each thrust, watching him when he wasn't kissing me. He was working on his fourth overload, his servos resting on the berthtop on either side of me, supporting him as he leaned over.

I wasn't in the mood, as usual, but I had no choice. He was in a good mood and would smile at me every so often, and I would force a faint smile back. He did kiss me on the neck cables, purr his engine, and nuzzle his olfactory sensor against mine, but I still was not completely into it. My spark still was broken from realizing he only wanted a prince to bear him young, not me for who I was.

I bit my lower lip plate, watching him. He looked down at me, then smiled, wings fluttering. I slightly grinned and diverted my optics elsewhere. He never ceased thrusting into me, and gave my neck cables very gentle nips.

I just wanted to be with Skyfire. To have him holding me… Kissing me… Humping me… My wings fluttered at the thought. I then got the bright idea to imagine it was Skyfire in me instead of Thundercracker.

I offlined my optics, relaxed, and envisioned Skyfire. His spike in me… His engine purring… His heavy exhales… How he held me… His loving kisses…

I moaned louder, feeling more turned on. My frame grew hotter, I writhed beneath my trineleader, and grasped onto his arms. I smiled, finally enjoying this. I was careful, though. I couldn't say anyone's designation because if I said the wrong one… I had said my trinemates' designations with Skyfire a few times, but it was safe to make that mistake with him. Say Skyfire's designation when Thunder was in me and I would be dead.

I soon overloaded, growling through it as my excess energy surged into my trineleader. I onlined my optics and looked up at him. He smiled at me, kissing me gently on the lip plates. I fluttered my wings slightly, but I wasn't really happy. I wanted Skyfire.

I offlined my optics and envisioned my friend again. I had to do something to make this easier.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I did some redecorating. I gathered several pictures of Skyfire and hung them on the wall, a large one right by my berth so whenever I was leaning over it for interface (and punishment, too, I guess…) I could look at Skyfire's handsome faceplates smiling at me. But, obviously just images of my friend would be questionable to have. So, I also hung up pictures of my trinemates, my daughters, and nephews. I even hung some pictures of my creators, full siblings, and my biological nieces and nephews. I arranged it so it looked like I was just hanging up with no rhyme or reason to it, and that the largest picture of Skyfire just _happened_ to end up where it did by my berth.

I was quite proud of it. And my daughters also liked it.

Thundercracker returned home at his usual time and played with his creations. I guess I sassed him too much or something because I found myself being marched to my room and awaiting execution.

He came into my room with the cable, pausing at the sight of all the pictures.

"What inspired this?" He gestured to them.

I swallowed, coolant leaking down my optics already. "Just… I want to see my family and friends."

"It's nice." He then turned to me. "Lean over."

I did so, leaning directly in front of Skyfire's picture. I grit my denta when the first lash struck my aft, my optics focusing on Skyfire's gentle, loving face before me. I don't know why, but it did help to just focus on him as I was punished. I was able to remain silent for twenty lashes before I began to whimper then cry from the pain.

After I had been punished, I lied on my back crying. Usually, I would cry into a cushion, but this time I just hugged it, my optics studying the images of Skyfire on the wall. I didn't feel so alone. I felt like someone cared about me. Someone who would never hurt me…

Later that night Thundercracker returned to interface with me. I leaned over the berth and let him take me without struggle. I just focused on the picture of Skyfire. He was in me, he was loving on me… I wasn't with Thundercracker. I was with Skyfire.

I panted softly, grasping the berth, whimpering whenever Thundercracker bit my nape too hard. But I never looked away from Skyfire's picture. It made the interface easier, more enjoyable, and just made me want my friend even more.

* * *

My life was better. For a time, of course. Everything was normal for the next two stellar cycles. I went to school, I helped my daughters with their homework, picked them up and dropped them off at school, cared for them, cleaned the apartment, helped Skywarp care for his sons, bonded with my trinemates, visited my family a few times, and just lived normal. With some punishments. Well, a lot. I was punished almost all the time.

The one thing that was different was all the secret interface I was getting with Skyfire. We were addicted to each other. We went hard at it when we were alone. The forbidden affair just became more thrilling and addictive the longer we did it. I couldn't imagine not fragging him. I needed him there in my life. We never said the words, but I did think them: Conjunx Endura.

As with all good things, they eventually come to an end. And the ending to this… I will try my best to tell it, but I still have a hard time thinking about this event, the pain, the fear, the suffering… I may not give entire details on some things, but I'll try my best.

The semester had just ended and Skyfire was going to spend his break with his creators and extended family. I didn't want him to leave, but he had to. I told my trinemates I would spend the orbital cycle hanging out with him and return sometime that night so he could online early the next orbital cycle to make the trip. Thundercracker was fine with it, eager to have me at home more during the break and no Skyfire. Skywarp, was Skywarp, and just was excited to spend the orbital cycle with all the Seekerlets.

Our final orbital cycle together was going great. We were fragging and sharing some drinks. Mech, did we frag…

"Oh, oh, hah, YES!" I fluttered my wings, hugging my best friend close as he humped me hard. "I love this! Ohhhh…. Yes! Give me! Hah, oh, hah, love you." I kissed him passionately on the lip plates. "You're not allowed to leave me!"

He chuckled. "I got to see my family, sillyhelm." He kissed me silent.

I fluttered my wings. "I come first."

"It's their turn to see me. You need to learn to share."

"Never!"

"Shhh, calm down, Star."

I wiggled beneath him, my wings fluttering. "Your face calm down." I snickered.

He rolled his optics, smiling at my playfulness. "I love you."

"Take me with you! I can squeeze in a suitcase."

"I'm not taking you with me. And you need to stop holding back. Just overload already."

"You overload already."

"If you don't overload I'll tickle you."

"I'll bite you."

"Fine." He then proceeded to tickle me.

I squealed, kicking and guffawing as he tortured me so. He kept at it for a bit before kissing me passionately on the lip plates, thrusting harder and faster into me. I kissed him back, my glossa in his mouth. I soon overloaded, and he did the same after a few more thrusts into me.

I smiled as I panted in his faceplates, my optics never looking away from his. "I love you."

"Love you, too." He pecked a kiss to my cheekplates, gave himself a moment more, then pulled out.

I sat up, flicking my wings to ride them of excess energy. I snuggled against him, savoring this time with him. He held me close, the two of us just cooling down from an amazing interface.

"I want more engex." I smiled, grabbing the half empty bottle and pouring myself some more.

"I'll take another glass as well." Skyfire smiled at me, his optics watching my aft, and I no longer minded it. I enjoyed it.

I sat beside him again, sipped from one of the glasses, then handed it to him.

"Rude." He replied before drinking from it.

"So, I now have all the requirements completed for two masters. Fourteen more to go." I said before sipping from my own cube.

"You're insane." He commented.

I smirked. "I'm fabulous and you know it. At this rate I'll be graduating within a vorn. You?"

"Definitely within a vorn. I'm getting two less masters than you."

"Because you're lazy."

He snorted a laugh. "Yes, that's why."

I crawled onto his lap and snuggled against him. "Love you, big guy."

He smiled sheepishly. "Love you, too, little guy."

I looked up into those gentle, kind optics and smiled, my wings fluttering. I had never been so happy in my life then when I was with him.

I don't really remember much of my orbital cycle with Skyfire past that point. I knew we drank, I know we fragged some more (Primus, we were petrorabbits!), and we talked, but not much more…

I do remember onlining…. In his arms, cuddled on his berth, and the sun rising, its morning rays peaking through the window to greet me with a friendly, "You're so slagged."

My optics widened when I realized I had spent the night with Skyfire. I shoved his arms off me, even though I wanted to be in them forever, and leaped off the berth.

"Mmm?" He onlined slowly. "What?"

"I SPENT THE NIGHT!" I shrieked, panicking.

He leaped to his peds. "SLAG! I'm sorry, Star, I-"

"I need to go home! Just…. I'll see you when you get back!" I raced out of his dorm, down the hallway, and leaped out a window. I transformed and flew home, not realizing the fate that awaited me.

I got home, and quietly entered the apartment. Skywarp would be mad, but Thundercracker would be at work and that would give me time to make up something. Only… He wasn't.

"Where the hell were you?"

I died. I slowly turned around and saw death itself sitting upon the couch, the fires of hell burning within those red optics, and all my sins laid out before me. My aft was hurting and the pain hadn't even begun yet.

"I-I-I-" I stuttered, my wings drooping, feeling the cables inside of my neck tightening.

He stood up and stomped over, wings flared, optics narrowed. He grasped my wrist and yanked me over to him. "WHERE WERE YOU?!" He roared.

Coolant started to pool in my optics. "I-I accidentally fell into recharge. I-I'm sorry!"

"Were you doing circuit boosters?!"

"NO!"

"WHY WERE YOU GONE ALL NIGHT?!"

"I-I just fell into recharge! Th-that's all!"

"I don't believe that. You're not that stupid. What happened!?" He flicked his wings, engine growling.

"That's what happened! Ah!" He slapped me across the faceplates. "Please!" I started to sob, pulling to get free, but there was no escaping his vice-like grip.

"Open your codpiece." He growled with gritted denta.

My optics widened. "I didn't cheat! I would never frag him o-or anyone! I-I just fell into recharge! I-I drank some engex and-"

"OPEN. YOUR. CODPIECE." He ordered again, this time even more murderously.

I started to tremble, more coolant leaking from my optics. I hadn't cleaned myself yet. The evidence was all there. I was dead.

"Please…. I-I never-"

"If you do not open it right now I'll just beat you until you do."

Really, I was going to suffer anyway. And he probably would just tear the codpiece off me if I kept resisting, which would bring even more pain to my body.

I swallowed, then folded away my codpiece, starting to cry harder. He forced my legs apart to see better, and his optics widened when seeing the dried transfluid from another mech all over me… And the obvious signs of my valve having been used…. His optics were filled with shock, horror…. And betrayal. But that quickly disappeared to be replace with anger and pure, unadulterated fury.

"You miserable whore!" He punched me in my faceplates eliciting a pained cry from me.

"PLEASE!" I screamed, pulling at his hold, desperate to get away. "Thunder, I-I didn't cheat!"

"And you're lying!"

"I-I-"

"Was it the shuttle or someone else?" He demanded.

"I-I didn't-Ah!" He punched me again, and I tasted energon. "Please, Thunder!" I cried, sobbing louder now.

"Who. Was. It?" He snarled dangerously.

I couldn't answer. I just started to cry, scared for myself and my best friend. He figured out who it was. Who else am I close to? He yanked me and dragged me to his room. He grabbed some chains, the cable, and a whip before taking me to my room. I glimpsed Skywarp standing in the doorway to his room, obviously having heard the commotion. He was scared, and I saw Tempest in his arms.

Thundercracker shoved me onto my berth before he locked the door.

"Please, Thunder!" I begged. "I-I didn't cheat! I-It was an accident! W-we drank a-and-AH!" I screamed when he lashed the cable across my faceplates as hard as he could. I fell over from the blow, lying on my side, feeling energon oozing in small droplets down my cheekplates.

"YOU CHEATED WITH THAT SHUTTLE!" He roared as he released a sonic boom, trembling the entire apartment.

I couldn't speak. I was frozen with fear. I just trembled, bawling my optics out. And I was hurt…

"Miserable glitch!" He shouted before he started to rain down the hardest, most vicious of lashes he had ever struck me with. They hit me wherever they landed as he was blinded with his rage. I could only scream and instinctively try to block the blows. My wings, back, aft, thighs, chest, abdominal plates, and faceplates were all struck. And the beating wouldn't stop.

It was almost a breem of this beating when he finally got through enough of his initial rage to think a little. He grabbed the chains and tethered me to my berth, stretching my limbs out. He resumed the beating, striking my aft with such an unholy ferocity… I was screaming so hard that my vocalizer started to fritz. And he just kept lashing me. My aft was so dented, energon leaking from it. I was in so much pain and knew he wasn't going to stop. I was panicking.

"HELP! AHHHHH! SKYWARP! HELP! AHHH! SKYFIRE!" I screamed between my shrieks of pain. But no one saved me.

I don't know how long it was before the whip was implemented, or how long it was used for. My entire backside, wings, back, aft, thighs… Was completely torn apart and reduced to dented scrap metal covered in energon. I was going into shock from the pain, but instead of it ending, he just flipped me over and began to flog my front. My thighs, codpiece, abdominal plates, chestplates, front of my wings, and my faceplates were attacked. I had lost my vocalizer, only static emitting by this point. I think I had been punished for a joor, now, but it wasn't going to be over anytime soon. He just kept whipping me, then the cable returned and lashed across my body and my face… I was in so much pain I basically didn't even feel new pain. I was on the verge of passing out, all I tasted, smelled, and saw was energon…. I was growing so weak….

It finally ended after an eternity that was only just under three joors. Yes, I was tortured for that long. If I had been something other than a warrior built I would have died. There's no doubt about it.

I remember hearing him growl something before storming out the room, then everything went black…

When I onlined again Thundercracker was over me, messing with my neck. I swallowed, the brutality of the attack returning to me fully and I resumed my tears.

"Shut up." He snapped. He finished what he was doing, then removed the chains from my wrists and ankles.

He grabbed another chain and gave it a hard tug. I felt something around my neck, yanking me up. I sat up, gasping from the evil pain pulsating from my entire body. I looked down and realized what he had done. I had a collar around my neck with a long chain attached to it. The other end of the chain was tied to my berth. Well, more like welded to the leg of my berth making it impossible to ever remove. My optics widened, and my intakes quickened. He held it taunt, forcing me to look up at him and into those cold, murderous optics.

"Your friend got away. Already left his dorm." He gave the chain a little tug. "But you're not getting away. You're staying here. Forget about your damn academy and that slagging shuttle. If he ever shows his face here again I'll tear him apart. Do you understand?"

I just started to cry, my spark dropping inside of me as I felt myself die a million times over. I yelped when he slapped me.

"Do you understand!?" He barked.

I quickly nodded. "Y-yes, sir!"

"Things are going to change around here, Starscream. Starting with this." He then released the chain to go to the wall and began to throw down all the pictures I had up of Skyfire. They shattered against the cold floor, and I just felt my spark being shot with the destruction of each picture. After he had removed all of the pictures he went to my computer. "You're not going to ever speak to him or anyone else again unless I specifically allow it." He then tore the power cable from my computer, smashed my communicator in half, then shoved all the gifts from Skyfire off the shelves and onto the floor. He threw down all my textpads and everything else from my school, and even threw my chair against the wall. He destroyed so much of my property, and I couldn't stop him.

"Please! Stop! Thunder! STOP IT!" I screamed, bawling helplessly as all of my possessions and memories were destroyed before my optics.

Once he had finished, he stomped over to me, grasped my helm, and removed my commlink. I just cried, defeated, helpless, alone…. I had lost everything.

"Quit your crying. You only have yourself to blame for this." He snapped before stomping out of my room and locking the door behind him.

I cried. I screamed and bawled my optics out, hyperventilating from the shock and the complete misery I was in. I was shocked, I was in pain, I was… Defeated and broken. I couldn't even contact my friends, carrier, or siblings for comfort. I didn't realize this at the time, but Thundercracker committed several felonies with this punishment alone.

I cried until I couldn't anymore. I was still weak from my beating and had a significant energon loss. But, despite this I still got up and began to clean my things off the floor. I stacked my datapads back, I got my computer put back together, all my broken things I put together best I could, and set aside the others in a box to try and fix when I had the means to fix them… Or to just keep their remains for the little comfort they could bring me. I picked up the pictures of my friend, wiping coolant away as I saw his faceplates. I subspaced them all, keeping them safe where only I could reach them. I then subspaced the other possessions of mine that were above the rest.

I looked around my room, then I took down all the pictures I had of Thundercracker and put them in a drawer. I didn't want to see him.

I checked the time, seeing that my two eldest would be returning from school soon. I didn't want them to see me like this… But I needed their comfort.

I lied on my berth and soon resumed crying, falling into recharge. I onlined later, and heard the vocalizers of my precious femmlings. But they never came in. They struggled at the door, unable to unlock it. Dawn cried for me and my spark broke. Thundercracker ordered them away from me.

I eventually fell into recharge again, exhausted from everything. This time when I onlined it was morning and I was greeted by Skywarp's concerned faceplates.

"Hey," He said softly.

I looked up at him, everything so sore. Coolant pooled in my optics and I started to sob, reaching up for him. He swallowed, coolant pooling in his own optics. He hugged me, and I clung to him.

"Why?" He asked after a bit. "Why did you cheat?"

"I-I don't know…." I chocked out. "I-I just… I-I needed someone t-to love me."

"I love you." He said between his own sobs. "Star, I love you more th-than anything. Why did y-you have to get l-love from someone else?"

"I-I… I was d-desperate… I was scared… I don't know…"

He swallowed. "Th-Thunder won't let you leave to see a doctor… So, I'm going to take care of you, Scree. I-I got some medicine for you. A-and a new welder s-so I can do a better job. And I-I got you goodies."

He loved me so much, and I hated myself for hurting him like this. I just started to cry, not sure what to say. He kissed me on the lip plates, which hurt still, and purred his engine.

"Here, drink some energon. I-I put extra additives in it t-to help your self repair. I'll give you some pain dampeners, too."

I took the energon, not feeling hungry, but… I needed to refuel. I drank and he administered the pain dampeners before beginning to wipe the dried energon off my frame and weld my wounds. It took him a long time to get everywhere, but he never complained or stopped. He did it all in complete silence until he was welding my faceplates back together.

"This is… It's like what happened to my carrier." He said quietly.

"How long is he going to keep me chained?" I asked barely louder than a whisper.

"He didn't say… But I assume it's going to be a very long time."

"How are my daughters?"

"Physically, fine. Mentally… They were all crying for you last night. Zephyr attacked her sire and she was locked in her room for the night."

"He took all of my communication away… How can I call my carrier?"

"I'll ask him… But I won't leave you. I promise." He kissed me. "You cheated… It hurts me… A lot. But I know you still love me and whatever drove you to do what you did wasn't out of spite or because you want us out of your life."

"How do you know?"

"I'm your brother. I know you." He kissed me. "We're a trine till the bitter end. And this isn't the end, yet."

"I'm scared, Skywarp."

"I am, too…"

"I don't know what he's going to do to me…"

"I'll be with you. I'll try to talk to him."

I slowly nodded. "W-when can I see my daughters?"

"I heard him tell Zephyr that she can't see you until he says so."

Coolant started to leak out all over again. "I-I want my daughters. I-I need my little sparkles."

"I know… I know you do. I'll see what I can find out." He kissed me. "I love you."

"Love you, too."

"I'll stay with you."

"Even when he hurts me?"

"If I can, yes."

"I'm so scared…"

Skywarp hugged me gently, not sure what to say to help me.

* * *

Thundercracker returned that night, ignored his creations, and entered my room. I felt my spark drop when I saw him. I couldn't move, just sat there on my berth trembling with fear.

He locked the door behind him, approached, and yanked me over to him. He flipped me over, the front of my torso on the berth while my peds rested on the floor. He spread out my legs and tapped my codpiece. I opened it, not willing to fight him.

I remained still, obediently waiting for him to either frag me or dominate me. He did something I never thought he would do, but… He was that pissed at me. He put on a spike cover he had gotten with barbs on it. Big ones. And he entered me with that on. Going in, it didn't really hurt so much. Just felt… Like a lumpy spike. But when he pulled out… It scraped and dug along the wall of my valve bringing absolute misery and cruel pain.

I screamed, clawing at the berthtop. A normal dominating was horrible, but this… Words can't describe the hell I suffered. He pinned my down by my nape and thrust hard and fast into me. He bit my nape hard and tug at it as he also bent and twisted my torn up wings. I screamed, bawled out my optics, and feebly struggled. But it was hopeless. I wasn't escaping him.

I clawed at the berthtop until I tore the tips of my digits and left my energon smeared in lines on the berthtop. I cried so hard my vocalizer began to emit static, and I was blinded by my coolant. I could only cry and blabber helplessly, I kicked, I struggled, but the pain never went away, only got worse.

He dominated me for over a breem before finally ceasing. I was a bawling mess, trembling as I cried into my servos. He harshly pulled out of me and I closed my plates immediately. I didn't otherwise move, not wanting to anger him. He removed the spike covering before subspacing it and folding his codpiece back over. He then grabbed the chain and gave it a hard yank, cutting off my intake for a brief moment as I fell back and landed on the floor, it hurting so much since my backside and rear were still so sore.

"You're going to be punished every orbital cycle until you change, Starscream." He said calmly, but so darkly. "I'll allow my daughters to see you when I am assured you won't be teaching them to whore themselves. As for your other privileges… I'll see."

"Please, Thunder…" I said softly. "L-let me see my daughters…"

"Not yet. You may watch TV, but in your room. You're not allowed out of here." And with that said, he walked out and locked the door behind him.

Once he was gone I covered my faceplates and cried, broken, in pain, and scared. I was helpless, alone, and everyone hated me…. I couldn't do anything.

* * *

He kept to his word. Every orbital cycle when he came home he would enter my room and give me an aft beating. Sometimes he would dominate me as well, with or without the barbed spike cover. The beatings were with the metal cable, tawse, and sometimes the whip. I always received a minimum of fifty lashes on my poor rear. Sometimes more. Most of the time he just had me lying on or leaning over my berth, but sometimes he would make me stand or lean over the back of my chair. It depended on his mood and… Training me. I had to be trained to behave and respect him.

I managed to get better about remaining silent with my beatings, which I also hoped effected him negatively. Keep him from enjoying my screams or whatever…

Skywarp gave me my energon, goodies, and kept me company as much as he could. He never bonded with me, apparently due to Thundercracker telling him not to. The only action my valve got was when Thundercracker dominated me. All I could do was watch TV, read my datapads, look at pictures of my friends and family, and look out the window. I felt so helpless, alone, and scared.

During this time, Skywarp did fight for me. I love him so much.

"Thunder, Starscream is not that strong. You're going to break him." Skywarp explained as he stood in Thundercracker's room.

"He cheated on us, Skywarp. He fragged a shuttle!" Thundercracker flicked his wings.

"I know he did. I'm hurt by it, too. But, there's a reason he did it. Maybe it was a complete accident from drinking, or… Maybe what he says is true and he didn't feel loved by us and just needed something to fill that void. This is Starscream, TC. He's sensitive. He can't just… Take a beating and move on. He's hurt for a long time afterwards."

"He's over dramatic."

"He's our brother, and he needs us to be his brothers and love and comfort him. Not hurt him."

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Are you questioning how I am handling the situation?"

Skywarp narrowed his optics. "Not questioning, sir, merely pointing out how your punishment has gone beyond too far."

"I haven't gone 'too far.' He cheated and this is the least he deserves."

"He deserves our love and forgiveness. Thunder, I am hurt, too. I cry every night over his adultery, but… He's my brother, I love him more than anything, and I know sometimes people make mistakes because they didn't realize how to go about handling a situation. I'm a bastard, Thunder. My creators come from different trines. They had an affair because they loved each other more than anything else in this world. But they were scared. They were scared about being told 'no' and not being able to love each other. They made a mistake, having me, and they were found out. They loved each other too much to abort me and stay a secret. I'm all they have in this world to show their love, they went through with having me, and now they are forever separated, beaten, broken, and alone… But they have me. Starscream interfaced that shuttle because he gave him something he wasn't getting enough from us: Love and belonging. And we should be _ashamed_ with _ourselves_ , not him. Please, Thundercracker… Stop hurting him. Let him see his daughters. He's their carrier, he's carried them for you, raised them, cared for them, and has done everything you have asked of him to do as a carrier. Let him have his creations. Let him have his freedom. He's learned his lesson. Please, don't break him. Don't torture him as my creators are tortured by their trineleaders."

"I can't trust him with that shuttle."

"Then we just stop him from visiting Skyfire. We make sure they are never alone. Thunder, I've offered to chaperone them a million times. I don't mind."

"Skywarp, I get what you're saying, but Starscream needs to learn. He's lost my trust and he betrayed his trine. I can't just let him go like that."

"At least let him see his daughters and be able to walk around the apartment. He's going to go insane with claustrophobia."

"I'll think about it."

"Please, TC."

"I'll think about it." He snapped.

Skywarp paused before speaking again. "If you let him see his daughters…. I'll suck you."

Thundercracker gave him a hard glare. "I'm not going to be persuaded by interface."

"I beg to differ." Skywarp flicked his wings before leaning over the berth, his aft facing Thundercracker.

"Not gonna work." Thundercracker grunted.

Skywarp folded away his codpiece, reached a servo down, and began to pleasure his valve with electrical shocks. He moaned, starting to go harder and faster with rubbing his outer sensory node. He was soon dripping lubricant, cooling fans whirling to life, and his valve clenching on nothing, needing a spike.

Thundercracker rolled his optics, feeling himself turn on. "Slagging trinemate…" He grumbled as he stood up, walked over, and removed his own codpiece. He was soon inside of Skywarp, an arm wrapping tightly around Skywarp's waist and holding him close, his other servo resting on the berthtop. He began to thrust hard and fast, biting Skywarp on the nape, engine growling. "I'll think about it."

Skywarp pushed back, moaning and gasping so beautifully. "Let him have his, oh, daughters."

"Maybe."

"Yes." Skywarp reached back and kissed Thundercracker over a wing. "Let him see his daughters and I will let you do something kinky to me."

"I am not into that…"

Skywarp smirked. "A collar, chains, energy crop, my scrumptious aft, and lots of glossa action."

Thundercracker just growled and bit Skywarp's nape.

Skywarp winced from the pain, but purred his engine. "You're interested. I know you are. Let him see his daughters and you'll find out what I have in mind for you to do to me."

"You're not changing my processor."

Skywarp opened a small warp gate in from of him and reached his arm through. He pulled out some wires, electricity zapping from the ends. He fluttered his wings as he smirked.

"Oh, don't assume anything just yet, TC." He then giggled.

* * *

I had gone over an orn without seeing my daughters before that finally changed. I had heard them crying for me, begging, and protesting Thundercracker. My daughters love me and that's something I will always cherish. So, when they finally could see me, they bolted into the room once Thundercracker unlocked the door.

"CARRIER!" Three amazing, precious vocalizers all shouted at once.

I sat up on my berth, wings perking just as my three little ones all clambered up and onto me.

"My femmlings!" I fluttered my wings, hugging them close. "I missed you three!"

"We missed you, carrier." Zephyr hugged me tightly, already so tall at only 12 stellar cycles of age.

"I love you, carrier!" Dawn proclaimed, squeezing me tightly.

"Carrier!" Tempest smiled, her little arms wrapping around me best they could.

I just held them all close, savoring this moment with the most precious and important people in my life. I noticed their sire still standing in the doorway, and my wings lowered. I couldn't look at him the same way anymore. I was beyond terrified of him now. I couldn't even hear him opening a door without panicking. And these fears… This trauma he created would stay with me for vorns. I was messed up, and I wouldn't realize just how messed up I was for a while.

I swallowed before turning my attention back to my daughters. I kissed their cheekplates, nuzzled their olfactory sensors with mine, and listened to all they had to say concerning school, their games, friends, everything. And Zephyr, as usual, had quite a bit to say about her sire, even as he watched. But, what my youngest said was what hurt the most.

"What's this?" Tempest tugged at the collar and chain.

I bit my lower lip plate. "I… Carrier did something wrong and… I'm being punished for it. I'm not allowed to leave my room and this will make sure I don't leave."

"Sire's hurting you?"

I slowly nodded. "Yes… Sire is hurting me…"

"Because you earned it."

I swallowed. She was beginning to accept the ways of traditionalism. She was just repeating what she heard her sire say, but it hurt. It hurt knowing that my daughters were not pitying me, they just knew it had to be done. But, not Zephyr. She never accepted these things.

"He's abusing you." She snapped.

I didn't say anything. I just held my daughters close, never wanting them to leave me. And they didn't, at least for the rest of that orbital cycle and night. They just talked, played with me, and cuddled against me when I recharged. I am so lucky to have them.

* * *

Thundercracker flicked his wings, optics narrowed as he sat at his desk, glaring at the monitor.

"I told you." Steelwing smiled triumphantly. "I told you you cared too much for a nice aft and a pretty face and trined a whore."

"Put carrier back on. I was talking to her, slagheap." Thundercracker snapped.

"Oh, no, you talk to me first before you talk to your carrier. Are those sparklings even yours?"

"I tested Tempest. She's mine. Even if she wasn't I wouldn't be able to kill her."

"You're soft."

"I love my creations."

"Did you let him go?"

"I'm handling him how I believe is best."

"Send him over to me. I'll set him straight."

"He's mine, sire. No one else is touching him."

"Obviously, _not_! A shuttle was all over him and who knows what else! He uses Syk, cheats, most likely prostitutes, and who knows what else he does! Kill him and find someone to replace him."

Thundercracker flared his wings before flicking them. "Put carrier on now or else I'll hang up."

"You don't threaten me young-"

Thundercracker turned it off, done hearing his sire. He rubbed over his optics as he vented a sigh. He looked over at a picture of him with his trinemates and creations, studying it for a moment. His optics fell on me, examining my smiling faceplates. He groaned softly after a bit, not sure how to handle all of this.

* * *

While I was getting my aft beaten every orbital cycle and locked away, another event happened that Skyfire insisted I tell. And I'm quite proud of him for it so I will tell it. This happened almost a decacycle since he left and I was caught.

Skyfire had been with his creators, visited some other relatives, but was back with them. His sire had been bothering him a few times about me before, but this time it was the final straw.

Skyfire drank his energon, seated at the table with his creators. "So, Starscream and I have been discussing what we should do for our senior semester. Since we need to prepare a scientific endeavor or something along those lines. He suggested exploring other planets."

"If you go off-world with that Seeker it'll just make it easier for it to murder you." Oilspill grunted.

Skyfire rolled his optics. "I am getting really tired of you insulting my best friend, sire."

"Not insulting, just pointing out a fact."

"Starscream is a good mech. He's smart, kind-"

"Dangerous, manipulative, murderous…."

Skyfire flicked his wings. "I didn't come all this way to listen to you constantly talking down about my best friend. Starscream is my friend and he will always be a part of my life whether you like it or not."

"He'll definitely be a part of your life. He'll be the one that ends it." Oilspill waved a digit at him.

"He's not a killer. He's the kindest, gentlest, most loving person ever." Skyfire replied firmly, seeing my face before him, how I smiled, how I moaned beneath him. He could almost feel himself in me, thrusting into my wet valve, kissing me lovingly… All our forbidden lust.

"He's lying to you. That monster will turn on you and tear you apart. You can't trust Seekers. All they are are murderous sociopaths who don't even understand the concept of love. They just breed like petrorabbits and kill anything that moves. Dumber than a sheet of scrap metal."

"He's my friend." Skyfire growled. "Stop talking about him like that."

" _It_ ," He put extra emphasize on the word. "Is a murderous beast that will kill you and eat your organs."

Skyfire flicked his wings, glaring at his sire. "I fragged him."

Magnum gasped, dropping his cube on the table. Oilspill reset his optics a couple of times.

"I'm sorry, what?" Oilspill asked slowly.

"I made love to Starscream. _Love_. We're _lovers_. We frag every orbital cycle, multiple times. And you know what, sire? I _love_ _it_. I love making love to him. I love feeling him. I, Skyfire of Vos, am _madly_ in love with a _Seeker_!"

There was silence. Tense, stressful, aggressive silence. Then, Oilspill spoke.

"Get out of my house." He growled.

"I was leaving anyway." Skyfire snapped before standing up. "I'll call you tonight, carrier." He then went to his room, grabbed his things, subspaced them, and left. He stomped away down the street for a ways before stopping. He looked back, wings lowering. He vented a sigh, realizing things would be quite different now between him and his creators. "I'm coming to you, Starscream." He said quietly to himself. "I think I've made my decision."

* * *

Skyfire knocked on the balcony door and waited. Skywarp opened it after a bit.

"You shouldn't be here." Skywarp said, wings low.

"I came to see Starscream. Is he here?"

Skywarp swallowed. "We know, Skyfire. Starscream confessed. He's… Thundercracker is punishing him for his adultery."

Skyfire widened his optics, then narrowed them. "What is he doing to Starscream?"

"Skyfire… Just go home."

"I'm not leaving until I see my friend."

"I-I can't…!"

"Skywarp, please, I need to see him."

Skywarp bit his lower lip plate, thinking a moment before speaking. "You need to be gone before Thundercracker gets home. If he sees you he'll kill you."

"It won't be long."

Skywarp allowed him inside then took him up the stairs. "I'll need to teleport you inside. Thundercracker keeps it locked when he's gone."

"Why?"

Skywarp didn't say anything, just opened a warp gate before Skyfire. "I'll warp you out in a bit."

Skyfire eyed him, then stepped through the warp gate. He stood in my room, noticing how much had changed from the attack. He then turned to the berth, optics widening when he saw me. I was recharging, not having anything else to do, my frame still showing signs from the horrific beating I had suffered, and my aft dented and hurt from the beatings every orbital cycle.

"Starscream?" He said quietly, approaching me slowly. "Star? Sweetie?" He placed a servo on my shoulder and gently shook me.

I onlined with a start, wings flaring and optics wide. I instinctively flinched, ready to be hurt, but then I saw who it was.

"Skyfire?" I so softly asked.

He forced a small smile. "Hey, love." He kissed me on the lip plates. "I missed you."

I swallowed. "Y-you shouldn't be here. I-I don't want him hurting you."

"What has he done to you?"

Coolant pooled in my optics. "Please… Don't…"

"Don't what?" He then noticed the collar and chain on me, and his optics narrowed. ""What the hell is this?" He held up the chain.

"I-I… I'm not allowed to leave. I cheated on my trine… I lost my trineleader's trust so… He's doing what he must to ensure I don't leave again o-or cheat anymore."

"What else has he been doing?"

"Just… Dominating and beating me."

"He's been using a whip on you." He lifted my chin so the light from the window could better hit my faceplates. "And he's been hitting your face with it."

"Sky, please…."

"He's hurting you, Starscream!"

"Shhh, don't shout. Tempest and Skyblast are napping in the other room."

"Stop trying to change the subject. This is serious, Starscream. Is this why you haven't answered my calls?"

"He took all communication away from me."

"What? That's illegal. He can't do that!"

"He's my trineleader. He can do whatever he wants to me." I looked down, defeated.

"No, he can't. I'm calling the police."

"Please, don't…"

"Starscream, look at you! You're chained to a berth, locked away in your room, being raped and beaten by a monster! This is serious! This is the kind of slag that happens to people who are abducted by serial killers!"

"He's not a killer." I said a little firmer.

"Not yet."

I just couldn't take it. All this arguing, the conflicting thoughts in my helm… I started to cry, completely losing all control over myself. He sat beside me and hugged me, and I clung to him desperately.

"I'm going to help you. I'll get you out of here." He said firmly.

I just cried. I didn't know what else to do.

* * *

"You have reached the Iacon Police Department. Is this call to make a report or an emergency?"

"Both. My friend is being held a hostage by his mate. He's chained to his berth, locked in his room, and has no communication to the outside. I managed to visit him a bit ago and found out. He's being beaten and raped every orbital cycle and this has been going on for about a decacycle now."

"What is the victim's designation and address?"

"His designation is Seeker Starscream of Vos. He's red, silver, and blue with red optics. Very short for Seekers. He lives in an apartment on-"

"I'm sorry, a Seeker, you said?"

"Yes."

There was a pause. "Is this Skyfire? We've told you multiple times before that Seekers treat each other differently and it's not our place to stop them."

"No, it _is_! It doesn't matter what built or culture he's part of, this is blatant abuse and illegal! If he was anyone else you would be rushing to save him, but just because he's a Seeker-"

"In a different context it's-"

"It doesn't matter the context! He's being raped, beaten, abused! It doesn't matter the context! This is wrong!"

"We cannot barge in when the matter is a cultural-"

"HE'S KILLING MY FRIEND! You call yourself 'protectors' and yet you're doing _nothing_ to protect my friend! He has sparklings! _Very_ young sparklings! They're in danger! Stop being lazy and useless and get your fat afts over there and-!" He stopped when he realized they hung up on him. "ARGH!" He threw the communicator against the wall in his dorm.

He sat on his berth, beyond pissed, wanting only to punch those police officers. He swallowed, coolant pooling in his optics. No one would help a Seeker, and he had to do something to save me. He was alone in this fight for my rights and freedom.

* * *

Skyfire kept fighting for me, but nothing changed. I was continuously beaten and sometimes dominated every orbital cycle, kept chained in my room, only allowed out to the washroom when Thundercracker was around. And this miserable life continued for over a stellar cycle. I had no communication to the outside, and Skyfire was barely able to sneak a few visits in.

I was so depressed, anxious, scared, and… just broken. Things… thoughts… started to happen to me. And they only grew worse. Things got so bad. I needed to get away. I had to escape. But I had no one. I was alone. No one wanted me. Not even my trinemates. I just felt… Like everyone hated me, I was useless, and… I couldn't go on. I couldn't live like this. I couldn't live period.

Then, the night came that would begin my change.

Thundercracker had gotten another promotion so had to work evening shifts sometimes. One of the orbital cycles he was working late, Skywarp went to attend a school play that Storm was in. Due to them both being out, Thundercracker allowed me to have free access to the apartment so I could watch the other sparklings. He had installed special locks on the doors and windows that would alert him if they were opened or broken without his code. And he evenpout a tracking device on my collar. He made sure I couldn't escape. Not that I was planning on escaping that way.

I spent the evening pretty normal with my daughters. Skywarp had taken Skyblast, so it was just me and my precious creations. I gave them all the attention and love that I could that night. I put them to berth when it was getting late, bundled them in their blankets, kissed them all goodnight, and told them how much I loved them.

I waited a breem to make sure they had all fallen into recharge before doing something I hope I will never do again. I pray I will never be in this place ever again in my life.

I tugged at the collar still around my neck as I thought, looking at the cleaning supplies. I grabbed a couple, and took them to my room. I searched around my closest, pulling out some other chemicals I had used in my chemistry class. I will not say the specific chemicals I used or my formula, because I do not want anyone else to do what I did, but the concoction I made poisons the spark and weakens it enough to stop it from pulsating.

Once I had created the poison, I grabbed a datapad and wrote my final message on there. I placed it on my berth, and paused. I ran into Thundercracker's room and grabbed a communicator. I went back into my room, closed the door, and sat on my berth.

I was trembling. I didn't know what to do. I swallowed, then called Skyfire. He didn't pick up. I bit my lower lip plate, crying harder, feeling like he had abandoned me and hated me so that's why he wouldn't pick up. I then called Gearshift and he answered.

"Hello?"

"Gears?" I chocked out.

"Starscream? Primus, I've been so worried! What's wrong?"

"I… I'm sorry…"

"What's wrong?"

"I-I can't live l-like this. H-he hates me… M-my trine hates me. S-Skyfire won't t-talk to me. I…. I love my daughters. M-make sure they…. They know I love them m-more than anything."

"Starscream what's wrong? What's happening? Star, I love you. Talk to me."

I just started to cry harder. "I-I love you, too…. I love all of you… I-I won't be a problem… Bye, Gearshift. You always were my best friend."

"Starscream, where are you? Star, talk to me. I love you. We all do. Star, you are so special to us. I can't imagine life without you. Starscream, you're the-"

I was crying so hard. "B-bye, Gearshift." I then hung up.

I was bawling, trembling, terrified. I looked at the glass with the poison, just crying. Then… I drank it. I grabbed a picture of my daughters and just looked at it as I cried. I held the datapad with my final farewells and the will I had written, making sure they found it when they found me. I looked at my daughters, all smiling in that picture. My beautiful, precious daughters. I wouldn't see them grow up, but at least they would live a life free of me and all my mistakes. I only ever screwed up, and everyone would be so much happier once I was gone. No more whore Starscream. No more pissing off Thundercracker. No more being the favorite trinemate keeping Thunder from breeding with Skywarp. No more failed prince. No more Syk addict. No more.

I cried, hugging the picture close. I felt… cold. Then, I felt a burn in my spark. Then, everything went black.

* * *

 **FIRST OFF! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **College has resumed! It's my FINAL semester of college so I am a dying super senior! Why did I take extra courses? I hate myself... Anyway, due to this I will be writing less for this and... doing homework. Blech. I will NOT be abandoning this story or any of my others. So, If I go days, weeks, or even the next 3 months without updating, don't feel like I just walked away from this forever. I'm just very busy. Feel free to message me, comment still, or talk to me on my deviantART aaccount (Ga-Maleven on deviantART) to find out what's up, if I've gotten anything written, etc. I do not mind letting you guys know the status of the story.**

 **Now, about this chapter... Taking away all communication from someone to the outside world IS a felony. One that my parents committed against me and my siblings many times... This chapter had a lot of things in it that resemble my final day at my parents when I had to secretly call my sister at night after hiding my cellphone in my (then very small amount) art supplies. My sister is older then me and was living in another state, married, and away from them. Police had to be called in order for me to escape. Much of my property was destroyed, stolen, and thrown out by my parents. They always had been destroying my stuff, but that night they especially did and even more so afterwards since dumb police wouldn't let me take my stuff with me... I got 75% of my property back later and two of my pets back a year after I escaped. I am still working on getting the last of my property and my cat back. This May it will have been 5 years since I escaped.**

 **Again, Starscream is fragging Skyfire because he's so sad, lonely, and hurt and desperate for love.**

 **The wires Skywarp grabbed were for kinky stuff. They're robots. They use electricity to feel good. Too much hurts, but a smaller amount feels good or is harmless.**

 **Also, destroying other people's property is still illegal, even if they are your children, your spouse, etc. Do NOT destroy peoples' stuff!**

 **Of course the hell Starscream is going through is also similar to the hell Skywarp's creators suffered through.**

 **Starscream is already showing more signs of his PTSD and it getting worse. And the babies are learning to accept traditionism. Hatred is taught. Just as children are made to believe the lies that non-human animals are "below" us or that we are suppose to eat them, or that other races are to be hated, etc., they also learn to hurt others and it being "right," as the babies in this story are and Starscream and everyone else has been taught.**

 **And police can be useless. There are some good police, yes, but due to children being viewed as "property" and non-human animals also seen as "property," much abuse is ignored because "that's parenting" or "that's their animal." No, abuse is abuse. And the entire context thing... So, if you kick, stab, and boil alive a dog you get in trouble. But that happens to animals everyday in slaughterhouses. They are committing HORRIFIC acts of cruelty and abuse to these animals and no one stops them due to the lies we are taught by society and the meat/dairy industries, and the fact it happens behind closed doors. But if you do that to any other animal, child, or even to a "farm" animal in the streets you would get arrested. It doesn't matter the "context." Abuse is still abuse. Stop ALL abuse and just go vegan, save others, and stop being a dick.**

 **Oh, and when Skyfire didn't pick up, he probably was recharging or something so didn't hear. But when I'm in a depressing mood or something and I need to talk to someone right away and they don't reply back, I do feel like they hate me and are avoiding me. I know it's not true, but my anxious, depressed brain still tells me those things. And so you feel like they hate you and it makes you feel even worse...**

 **I know you hate me. Let me know how much you hate me.**


	15. The Law Pays a Visit

**Chapter 15**

Blackness.

That's all there was. Then, I heard a sound. It was distant… Then it grew louder. It was something that sounded familiar, but yet nothing I had ever heard before. I then heard words being spoken, but did not understand what they were. The vocalizer was… I knew it but couldn't place it. I think I saw something of their face in my processor, but didn't recognize it. It slowly became more and more clear until I understood the words.

"Please, come back t-to me. I-I love you. I'm sorry. Please…"

It was muttering, crying, sobbing… I knew that vocalizer. It was so clear, I knew it. Who was it? I knew it. Where was I? What was happening? I knew that vocalizer.

Slowly, tiredly, I managed to online my optics, so dim, unable to focus for what felt like forever until they finally seemed to work. I saw white all around me, and I felt like I weighed as much as a space cruiser. I was so heavy, tired, weak… I couldn't move. I managed to move my optics, still hearing that vocalizer. The crying, the sobbing, the blabbering, the begging… I felt something… on me, holding my servo.

I finally was able to look down, and I saw a familiar wing. I had to focus on it and work my processor hard for a moment before I recognized that wing, drooping beside me. I was confused, my optics following it until I saw the person crying, sitting beside me with their front over my abdominal plates. I had to reset my optics a few times and study the person before me a several times over. But it was him. I… I was so tired and out of it, but I was shocked because I knew this wasn't normal. I never thought I would see such a thing because it shouldn't be happening. It was…. Not something I thought he even _could_ do.

Thundercracker was crying. He was crying with coolant leaking from his optics as he held me, a servo holding mine. He was just begging between his sobs, and… I didn't realize trineleaders could cry.

I quickly offlined my optics and just listened to him. I had to know why he was crying.

"I love you, Starscream. I l-love you more than anything." He swallowed. "You're so beautiful. Smart, and just amazing. I'm sorry…" He said it so quietly, just to me. "I went too far… I'm sorry… I love you, Star. Please, come back to us. Don't leave us. We love you. I love you, Skywarp loves you." He wiped at his optics. "We all love you. None of us hate you. I don't see you as simple a prince to frag. I'm sorry I was never open to you. I'm so sorry… Please, come back… Don't die… Please, I… I can't go on without you. I need you, Starscream. I need my trinemates… I'm sorry… I'm still trying to figure out this trineleader thing. I..." He swallowed. "I have no slagging clue as to what I'm doing… I'm just trying to do w-what everyone else is doing… Why is my trine not working?" He was silent a moment, thinking, before he spoke again. "I love you… Please… Primus or whoever is up there… Please, give me back my trinemate. We need him. Please… Starscream, please… Come back to us. I love you. I need you. Please…"

I wanted to cry. Did he really love me that much? Was he really sorry? He had to love me. Trineleaders don't cry. He loved me! And I loved him! I need my trineleader. He wouldn't hurt me like he had before if he was truly sorry and even crying over it.

"Thunder..?" I said, my vocalizer so quiet and weak, surprising me with how soft it was.

He instantly looked over, wings perking. "Star? Starscream!" He began to kissed me like crazy on the cheekplates, his wings fluttering and engine purring. "My trinemate. I love you, Starscream. Primus, I love you so slagging much!" He kissed me on my lip plates. He started to lose control of his emotions and began to cry anew. "Please, don't ever do this again. W-we love you." He pressed his cheekplates against mine. They were warm, and wet from his coolant tears. "We love you s-so much."

I could only watch him, too weak and out of it to do much. "Love me..?"

"Yes, we love you so, _so_ much." He kissed me again, holding my servo in his and pressing the back of it to his chestplates. "You're so beautiful, Starscream. Absolutely amazing." He kissed my knuckles. "I don't breed you because you're a prince. I breed you because I love you."

I didn't speak right away, having to process things in my slow processor. "Then… Why not breed Skywarp again?" I asked slowly.

"I would love to. But he has trouble carrying. I have to be careful with him." He paused. "Maybe sometime in the future. For now, I want him to rest."

I just watched him, thinking, it being a bit before I spoke again. "I… feel tired."

"You're weak. Th-the doctors are taking care of you, love. They saved you."

"Saved me..?" I was silent. "From what..?"

His lower lip plate trembled before he bit down on it, coolant pouring out of his optics. I felt his servo trembling as it held mine. And, my trineleader broke down once more before me, crying as he gently held me close to him.

I wasn't sure why he was crying, trying to dig through my memory banks to remember what had happened. It took me a bit, but then I remembered. My optics widened, realizing what I had done.

I had attempted suicide. A failed suicide. And they had read my farewell letter. I… They knew how I felt.

I swallowed, scared now. What if they thought less of me because of this? What if… No, I had mentioned Gearshift in my will! What was going to happen now?!

"Where am I?"

Thundercracker wiped at his optics, calming himself down before answering me. "Y-you're in a hospital. You're in critical care. Y-your spark is very weak and… small. It's small right now and having trouble pulsating. They have you hooked up to machines to keep it strong enough to not fade away. Y-you're going to be in here a while, my love. But don't worry. I'm not leaving. I'm staying with you. I promise. A-and I'm going to take care of you a-and do better about protecting you."

"What…" I thought about what I wanted to say for a moment. "After I took the poison… What happened? How… How was I… saved?"

He swallowed, resetting his vocalizer and wiping at his optics with a cloth before answering me. "I-I got a call from Skyfire. He said that… That he had gotten a call from you and you were acting strange. You sounded suicidal." He had to take a moment to control his emotions. "And that he kept telling you he loved you but you hung up on him. I… was skeptical so I called the apartment and Zephyr picked up. She heard the communicator going off in the living room and got up to answer it. I told her to go check on you because I was worried about you. She went in your room and… She found you on your berth. You weren't cycling air, you didn't react when she tried onlining you. And she started to scream and panic on the communicator to me, and then she started screaming that you were dead as she was crying and… I called Skywarp and told him to teleport to the apartment immediately. He did and found you in stasis lock in your room. He left Skyblast with Zephyr and teleported you to the hospital. Th-the doctors had to operate on you immediately and…" Coolant began to leak out of his optics again. "They almost lost you. You're spark was all but gone. They brought you back to life. You were dead. You died and they…" He swallowed. "Y-your alive now… That's all that matters." He paused. "I-I picked up Storm from his school and took him home before coming here to the hospital. I-I haven't left since."

I was silent, not liking the fact my daughter was the one who found me like that. "How long was I out?"

"You've been in the hospital for eleven orbital cycles."

"Where's Skywarp?"

"He's taking care of the sparklings right now. Gunsmoke and Silvertone have been watching them as well." He paused. "You're creators are aware. Your sire is paying for your medical bills. Your carrier is with us. Skycutter is still in Vos because he has work."

"Where's carrier?"

"She's taking care of our daughters."

"I want my daughters."

"I'll bring them." He kissed me. "I love you."

"I love you."

He faintly smiled. "Please… Talk to me, Starscream. I need to be able to help you."

"I… feel tired… Where's Skyfire?"

Thundercracker took a while to answer that. "He's in the waiting room."

"Can I see him?"

Thundercracker just thought before slowly nodding. "Yeah… I'll get him." He cleaned his faceplates, hiding all signs of his crying. He reset his optics and vocalizer, raised his wings, and soon looked like normal Thundercracker. "Don't tell anyone you saw me like that." His vocalizer was firmer now.

"I won't. Promise."

He kissed me on the lip plates for a lingering moment before standing and walking to the door. He palmed it open and walked out. It wasn't long before Skyfire entered the room.

"Hey, sweetspark." He smiled at me, sitting beside me and taking my servo in both of his. "H-how are you feeling?"

"Tired." I replied with my still weak vocalizer.

"I imagine so." He hesitated, then kissed me on the lip plates. "I love you."

"Love you, too." I noticed how tired he was. He had been crying and missing out on recharge as well.

"You need anything?"

"How is my trine and daughters?"

"They'll doing well… Well, physically. Emotionally they… Are doing their best."

"You never picked up."

He vented a sigh. "No, I didn't. I never heard my communicator go off. But, I did hear it when Gearshift called me. I guess you gave him my number or he somehow found it… He called me and told me what you had said to him when you called him. And He told me to call one of your trinemates because he didn't know their numbers. I called Thundercracker and he… He got Skywarp to your apartment and saved you."

"Thank you…" I said after a moment.

"You don't ever need to thank me, Star." He kissed me again. "We're going to take care of you. We all love you so much."

"I love you."

"I know you do, gorgeous." He gently nuzzled his olfactory sensor against mine.

"I want my daughters."

"I'll see what I can do."

"When can I leave?"

"When you're strong enough. You're very weak right now."

"I want Thundercracker, too."

"Both of us at the same time?"

I nodded. "Please."

"Alright, I'll go get him." He kissed me again before getting up and leaving.

I waited in the silence, just thinking about what had happened and what everyone must be thinking. I was scared how people would see me for now on. Would they think I'm weak? A coward? I was worried.

Skyfire soon returned with Thundercracker. My trineleader got to me first and kissed me on my lip plates, his wings fluttering.

"I love you." He said, purring his engine. "What do you need from me?"

"I want you both with me, a-and to not hate each other. I love you both." I weakly replied.

Thundercracker gave Skyfire a sideways glare before turning back to me. "What do you want us to do?"

"Kiss me. At once."

Thundercracker slowly nodded. "Very well." He turned to Skyfire. "You get the other side."

Skyfire walked around to the other side of the berth. They then leaned forward and simultaneously kissed me on either cheekplates. I just smiled, loving this.

"Stay with me." I said.

"Always." Thundercracker kissed me on the lip plates before sitting beside me.

Skyfire grabbed another chair and sat on the other side of me. They both held my servos, kissing me occasionally. They stayed with me for a while before a doctor came in and shooed them away so I could rest. I fell into recharge, feeling a bit better.

* * *

I onlined the next orbital cycle, well past the morning. I was so weak I just recharged for a long time and was awake for only a couple of joors. When I did online I saw Thundercracker sitting beside me, his arms folded on the berth and helm cradled in them as he recharged. He didn't lie on the medberth with me because I was hooked up to so many wires that it was safer just to stay seated on the chair. I wish he could be on the medberth beside me. I needed the comfort.

"Thunder?" I asked, my vocalizer still so weak and quiet.

He stirred, onlining after I said his designation a couple of more times. "Mmm? Yes, love?" He slowly perked his wings, and I could tell he had been crying some more.

"I love you." I just blurted out.

He faintly smiled. "Love you, too, sweetspark." He gently kissed me on the lip plates. "Do you need anything?"

"My sparkles."

"I'll give Skywarp a call and have him bring them over. Do you want any energon?"

I checked my fuel levels and they were fine. The nurses did their job well. "No, I'm good." I paused. "I want huggles."

He smiled. "I'll try my best but I have to be very gentle." He kissed me before giving me a gentle hug. I tried to hug back, but my arms were so weak I couldn't lift them up. Just kind of drag them across the berthtop. "Your spark is getting bigger."

"When will I be able to move?"

"I don't know… Whenever your spark is strong enough."

"I love you."

He kissed me again. "I love you more." He took my servo and kissed the knuckles. "Love you so much, my little prince."

I didn't say anything, feeling so weak. I faintly smiled at him, then fell back into recharge.

When I online again I heard several vocalizers. Then the most beautiful sound ever.

"CARRIER!"

I found myself being hugged by my three, precious, little femmlings, and I managed the strength to feebly flutter my wings and even purr my engine some.

"Hey, my loves." I weakly said, trying to hold them, but still too weak to lift my arms.

"Carrier, look!" Tempest shoved a picture she made in my faceplates. "I drew us!"

"Oh, I love it, sweetie."

"Carrier, I'm the top of my class!" Dawn announced with a wing flutter.

"Good job, femme! I'm so proud of you."

"I'm starting a group at my school." Zephyr said.

"Really? What is it of?"

"Seeing the patterns of domestic abuse, how to go about reporting and handling it, and suicidal awareness."

I didn't speak immediately. I forced a small smile. "That sounds like a great idea, sweetie. Y-you're the head of it?"

"Yes, and one of my teachers is helping me."

"Good luck with it."

Tempest kissed me on the cheekplates before wrapping her arms around my helm in a hug. "Why did you get sick, carrier?" She asked.

I glanced at Thundercracker, not wanting to say something that went against the lie he had made up to ensure Tempest didn't get scared.

"He ate bad energon, Tempy." Thundercracker reminded her. "He'll be better before too long and can come home with us. And when he does, he's going to rest a lot, get lots of energon goodies, and all the hugs."

"I give good hugs!" Tempest proclaimed as she continued hugging me with her little arms.

"You do. You get it from me."

I then felt familiar lip plates kissing me on mine. I looked over and saw Skywarp, wings low, but he was fluttering them some. He had a small smile, and looked absolutely exhausted and like he had been crying his spark out constantly.

"Hey, Warp." I said softly, wanting to reach up to him for a hug, but still unable to move my arms.

"Hey, Star." He said quietly, fighting back tears. He kissed me again. "I love you, Scree."

"Love you, too."

"H-how you feeling?"

"Better, I guess. I feel weak… Tired…"

"We're going to take care of you. Don't worry. Right, femmlings? we're going to take good care of your carrier?"

"YES!" Dawn and Tempest exclaimed at once.

"I love you." I weakly said, feeling myself wanting to go back into recharge.

"Love you, too." Skywarp smiled before kissing me.

Some more things were said, but I don't remember them. I fell back into recharge just a bit later, so weak. When I onlined again it was a new orbital cycle and my trinemates were there, as well as the two youngest Seekerlets. The older three were at school. And my carrier was there.

"Carrier?" I asked quietly, still so weak.

Her wings perked as she turned to me. She smiled and kissed me on the cheekplates. "Yes, my beautiful son?"

"I feel… Awful."

"You're still healing, sweetspark." She took my servo in hers, Skyblast was sitting on her lap.

I looked at her, my processor so sluggish. I saw the collar on her neck, and I was reminded of the collar I had to wear… And being chained, and beaten, and the dominatings. It was flooding back to me. The fear, pain, suffering, how hopeless and lost I felt…

Coolant began to leak from my optics, remembering why I had been so desperate to escape, knowing no other way to save myself but to leave this world entirely.

"Shhh, shhh, you're safe, Starscream." Carrier said gently. "Everything is alright."

"I-I can't go back, carrier." I said on the verge of crying.

"Go back to what, sweetie?"

"H-he chained me to my berth and kept me locked in my room. A-and he b-beat me every orbital cycle and dominated me." Coolant was pouring out of my optics now. "I-I was a prisoner a-and couldn't escape. I-I had to-" I stopped, not wanting to say that killing myself was the only option I had to be free. She's my carrier and I didn't want to hurt her anymore than what I had.

She was silent, not sure what to say. I heard Thundercracker speak instead from where he was sitting.

"You won't be chained, Starscream." He approached and sat beside me, taking my other servo in his. "I think you've been punished enough for your adultery. When you get out… We'll talk about some new rules that will work for everyone. No more chains."

I swallowed, not sure if I believed him or not. He kissed me on the cheekplates, his wings giving a slight flutter. I bit my lower lip plate and checked my HUD. Things were not the best, but better than last time I checked. I just wanted to be able to move again.

* * *

I was in the hospital for nearly a decacycle. I slowly got my strength back as my spark grew, and once I could start to move I had to undergo some physical therapy. I managed to be able to move just enough that I was able to go home. But, I was still not completely better. I still had to attend physical therapy because I was having trouble walking, moving my digits, and couldn't even transform. And I would require a few surgeries on my spark to help it stay strong, improve its connection to my brain module, and be able to endure spark bonds and harsh pulsating.

I was scared about going home, but I also was tired of the hospital. Thundercracker carried me home, and placed me on the couch. I was already tired from the trip, and just wanted to rest. My daughters all snuggled against me and Tempest sat on my lap. My trinemates got on either side of me and kept me close to them.

"Doing alright?" Thundercracker asked.

I slowly nodded. "Yeah… Alright."

We watched TV for a while, Thundercracker pampered me with energon goodies, and then we sent the Seekerlets off to berth. We stayed up a bit longer before Thundercracker picked me up bridal style and carried me to his room. He set me down on his berth, then got on the other side of me. Skywarp got on the free side, and I was soon squished between them as they hugged, cuddled, and kissed me.

"We love you, Starscream." Thundercracker said between gentle kisses. "We will be here for you till the bitter end."

"Always, Scree." Skywarp nuzzled his olfactory sensor against my neck cables.

I didn't say anything, nervous still about what the future held for me. Thundercracker held me quite firmly, making sure I wouldn't be able to escape him in the night. I understand. I wouldn't trust me either.

My brothers soon fell into recharge, but I couldn't. I stayed online just thinking. I looked up at Thundercracker as I was curled against his large, warm chassis. I just thought about the things that had happened. He was a trineleader. He was stronger, braver, smarter, and always knew best for his trine. And yet… He had been crying a lot. Bawling his very spark out over me. That's not something trineleaders do… He also admitted to making a mistake. Since when do trineleaders make mistakes? They couldn't. They knew everything and did only the best for their trine. And he had apologized to me. That he was in the wrong and had to do that.

And the way he had punished me was similar to how other traditional trineleaders had punished their trinemates. Like what Steelwing did to me, and what Solarstrike did to Skywarp's carrier, Overcast. But they never regretted what they did, they never backed down from their actions being right, and they still treat their trinemates the same way. But Thundercracker was sorry for his actions towards me. He had cried.

Was it because I had attempted suicide? Was that what it took for a trineleader to realize they made a mistake? But trineleaders don't make mistakes…

Was he really upset about me almost dying because he truly loved me, or was he scared about losing his pretty, little prince to breed? If he wanted me simply for breeding… wouldn't he be more angry than sad? Maybe he did really love me. Maybe he was right and really didn't know how to be a trineleader. Maybe… Maybe things were wrong. Maybe… Maybe what Skyfire had said to me a millions times over was true. Maybe… Maybe Thundercracker is just any other Seeker who makes mistakes, doesn't actually know everything, and this whole way of living… Maybe traditionalism was wrong?

And I was scared by that thought. If traditionalism was wrong, then I had been living a lie all my life. _All_ of us had. And if we had lived a lie, then what was right? How should we live? Did I trine the wrong Seekers? Was having my daughters truly wrong? Was there more to life than just trining, procreating, and obeying your trineleader?

Was I being punished when I was never wrong? Was… Was I abused? Was I raped? If Thundercracker had been wrong in how he had punished me for adultery, was he wrong in other things? Was he wrong in other punishments? Was he wrong about when he forced me to interface? Was he wrong about forcing me to have creations? Was he wrong in loving me?

I was so confused. How could he be wrong? But he admitted to being wrong… Was I wrong? Who was right in all of this? Was… Did Zephyr see the truth all this time while the rest of us were so blind? Did grounders know more about these things than we did?

I clung to my trineleader, scared about these thoughts. If he was wrong… He would make other mistakes. And if this mistake had made me attempt suicide… What would other mistakes of his cause?

What does the mistakes of other trineleaders cause? Were we all being abused and raped and just accepting it because he put too much blind faith into someone who said they lived to protect and care for us? Did we all go against our trine vows because we are afraid of admitting we were wrong?

What should I do?

* * *

"Here is how things are going to change around here." Thundercracker spoke as we sat at the table. "For now on, Starscream, you're not allowed to visit Skyfire. If you must see him he is to come here where you and him can be chaperoned by either me or Skywarp. There will no longer be going off at night. I really don't like Skyfire, but I'm not kicking him out entirely because I understand he's someone who helps you with your school and getting through life. But there will no longer be any romance or intercourse with him. Understood?"

I nodded my helm. "Yes, sir." I replied, hugging Tempest closer as she sat on my lap.

"I'll allow you to go back to school, but no late classes, and preferably if you took more online classes. For now at least until you can prove to me that I can trust you."

"Understood, sir."

"Your physical therapy is paramount. I want you taking it seriously and try to get better."

"I will."

"And you must also communicate to us. Please, tell me how you're doing and feel. It's my job to take care of you and I can't if you don't tell me what's going on with you."

"I will, sir."

"Lastly… Who's Gearshift? You mentioned him in your will you left."

I swallowed. "An old friend I had during all my stellar cycles of school. We've known each other since we were little sparklings. I… just want him to have some of my stuff because… He helped me a lot back then."

Thundercracker just grunted. "Hmm. Well, other than those changes the same rules still apply for everything else. Now," He stood up. "I need to go to work."

"Okay… Love you."

"Love you more." He pecked a kiss on my lip plates, then kissed Tempest on her cheekplates. "See you tonight."

"Seeya." I said, perking my wings as I watched him leave. I vented a sigh once the door closed. "Well, what do you want to do, Tempy?"

"Let's play videogames!" She hopped off my lap and bolted for the couch.

I placed my servos on the tabletop and slowly stood up. My legs were wobbly and still weak. I started to walk to the couch, each step such an effort and almost falling over. Tempest came back over and took my servo, helping me the few steps over from the table to the couch. By the time I got to the couch I was already tired.

I sat down, practically falling onto the couch, and took the controller she offered me. It was a nightmare trying to operate it. My digits were uncoordinated and didn't want to listen to me. It was so frustrating not being able to walk or use my digits I started to cry. Tempest perked her wings when she noticed.

"Let's not play videogames." She said as she put her controller down. "I want you to read me a story." She then grabbed a datapad from the small table and got onto my lap.

"I can do that." I wiped away my coolant, calming down. "Which story?"

"The one about the turbofox making new friends."

"Okay." I took the datapad with my shaking digits and held it so she could see the pictures. She cuddled against me and I kissed the top of her helm. "Sonic the Turbofox was a very shy turbofox. He lived with his carrier and his sire in a den surrounded by crystal flower fields."

Tempest placed her servos over mine to help steady them and helped me flip through the pages as I read. She helped me all that orbital cycle.

* * *

It took several decacycles of physical therapy before I had gotten full use of my servos and legs again. I still had some finesse issues here and there. I wasn't fully recovered until another stellar cycle. But, for now I was mostly better with those decacycles of physical therapy. And I was finally able to talk normal and my processor was working just fine. My spark was fully healed as well. My trinemates, daughters, and nephews helped me through all of that and were very patient with me. Thundercracker didn't talk much with me minus to love on me. And they didn't interface with me. They just let me heal and rest. I didn't invite Skyfire over at all. I didn't feel like it would be safe for him to be around Thundercracker so soon. So, we had a few videocalls, but that was it.

Tempest had turned four decacycles old, Dawn was now nine, and Zephyr was almost fifteen. I was healed, and… That time had come again.

"Hey, Starscream." Thundercracker greeted as he walked into my room.

"Hey." I replied, not looking at him as I did homework on my computer. I was taking online only courses since I was still recovering from my suicide attempt.

"What are you working on?" He hugged me from behind, and kissed me on the cheekplates.

"Writing a paper. Nothing fun."

"Sounds like no fun."

"I'm actually ahead in this class so this basically is my final paper."

"That means you can take a break from it."

"I can." I saved it, then looked up at him. "What's up?"

He kissed me on the lip plates before looking down at me again. "I think it's time to get back to bonding. You're all healed, well, enough that we can interface again. And I would love to show you my love for you." He fluttered his wings as he smiled.

"One condition." I said.

"What is that?"

"You take it slow." I poked him on the olfactory sensor with a digit. "No going hard or fast, and no biting. Slow, gentle, kisses, tickling, and glossa action." I paused. "And I want to be kissed down there." I pointed to my codpiece.

He raised an optical ridge. "I'm not giving you oral."

I crossed my arms. "I want you to _kiss_ me down there. Come on, I get your whole spike in my mouth, and I _swallow_! The least you can do is give me a kiss where I push out your daughters from. You glitch about your spike getting hurt… Try having the valve that gets the pounding from that spike. And Skywarp's."

"Fine, fine, I'll kiss you." He kissed me on the lip plates. "But I want to also work on sparking you."

My wings lowered and I set my jaw, feeling my spark dropping. "Spark me? Again?" I asked quietly, feeling like I was losing my life and freedom all over again.

"Yes. Tempest is four stellar cycles old now. It's time for the next one."

"Thunder, please… I'm not ready for another. I just really…" I swallowed. "I need a longer break this time. I'm still not recovered from everything…."

"Star, another sparkling will help you. Give you someone to focus on, build our relationship back up-"

"The last three haven't done that at all."

"Starscream…"

"Skywarp wants to be sparked again. Breed him. I really need a longer break. I'm not ready yet…"

"You always say this, but you always are ready."

"I'm not…"

"Starscream…"

I looked up at him, coolant beginning to leak out of my optics. "Please, Thunder, I'm not ready yet. Please, just give me more time. Please!"

He paused, thinking, then he vented a sigh. "Fine… I'll give you more time. But I still want to bond with you."

I perked my wings. "Really? You'll give me more time?"

"Yes, I will…" He said slowly.

I faintly smiled, my wings fluttering. "Thanks, Thunder. I-I really appreciate it."

"Mhmm. Go lie down on the berth. I'm making love to you now."

I just smiled as I stood up and trotted over to my berth, so happy that he for once was respecting my wishes and giving me an actual break from having creations. I was so happy. Maybe things were changing for the better finally?!

Little did I know at the time was that once I turned my back to him he opened his panel, connected his nanite wires, and then closed it. He smiled at me when I was on the berth, fluttering my wings at him.

"Lie down, beautiful." I gently pushed me down when he got to me.

I kept fluttering my wings as I lied on my back. "You have to kiss me first!" I opened my codpiece and spread out my legs as I pointed.

"Fine, fine, I'll kiss it." He kissed me on the lip plates before getting on the berth and between my legs.

He pleasured my thighs with electrical currents, moving in towards my valve. I moaned softly, offlining my optics, my servos resting on the berth above my helm. He leaned in, hesitated, then kissed me right on the valve. My wings fluttered madly. This was something traditional trineleaders _never_ did. But my trineleader loved me more than anything.

"Now, can I stick it in you?" He demanded.

"Now, you may." I giggled.

He leaned over and pecked a kiss to my lip plates. Then, he lifted me up by my thighs, removed his codpiece, and penetrated me. He adjusted my legs on his hips before resting his servos on the berthtop on either side of my helm. I reached up and pulled his helm down, kissing him on the lip plates as he began to thrust into me. And like a wonderful trineleader he went nice and slow.

I moaned into his mouth, fluttering my wings, my optics offline. He tapped my chestplates and I obediently removed them. His folded away as well, and our sparks soon entangled their energy with each other. It tickled for me since my spark was not a hundred percent yet, but his strong spark giving mine energy certainly helped me.

"I love you." He whispered to me.

"I love you, more." I whispered back.

He kissed me on the neck cables, and I lolled my helm back to make it easier for him as I wrapped my arms around his helm. It felt absolutely amazing with him loving on me rather than rushing for an overload. It took us a while longer than usual, but we eventually overloaded and spark bonded as we climaxed. I gasped through it, clutching him tightly as he growled with his denta clenched. When the surplus energy passed through our heated frames I fluttered my wings, smiling up at him.

"Liked that?" He smirked.

I giggled. "Again! And more valve kissies!"

He rolled his optics. "I much rather kiss your gorgeous faceplates."

"I'm pretty down there, too."

"You very much are. But I still love these perfect lip plates." He pecked a kiss to them.

"Kiss below deck."

"No."

"Yus."

"No."

"Yusss!"

"You wanted to be tickled?"

"No!"

But it was too late. He began to tickle my abdominal plates leaving me squealing and guffawing helplessly beneath him. I grabbed at his wrists, trying to stop him, but it was hopeless.

"Hey!"

He stopped to look back, wings perking. I looked over as well, my wings hiking.

Zephyr stood in the doorway with her servos on her hips. "Some of us are trying to concentrate on our homework, so can you please frag quietly?"

"Rude." Thundercracker replied.

"No, rude is you bothering everyone with your moans and making the berth creak loudly. I kinda don't want to hear what you're doing to my carrier from my room. Like, gross."

"Alright, alright, we'll keep it down. Shut the door and put the white noise machine on outside of it. We're going to be here a while."

"Whatever." She closed the door as she left.

"Adolescent and with such an attitude." He grunted.

"She gets it from me." I replied.

"She does." He kissed me, then grasped my neck and pinned me down, but not roughly. Just holding me down. I held that powerful arm with a servo, stroking it slowly as my other servo held the wrist of his other arm that was resting on the berthtop supporting him. He then resumed his thrusting. "I love you."

I smiled, moaning softly. "Love you, more."

He captured my lip plates in a searing kiss, making love to me for a long time, and ensuring we spark bonded every time we overloaded.

* * *

Thundercracker bonded with me regularly from then on out. Usually in the evening when he was home, but sometimes he got a few overloads in in the morning. I didn't mind. I was being loved on. He wasn't being rough or demanding, either. Just, making love to me. And I had no idea that his nanite wires were plugged in that whole time. It would be nearly a decacycle later when I felt an upset fuel tank.

"Doing alright?" Thundercracker asked as he watched me from the doorway.

I was sitting on my berth, holding a trashcan that I had purged inside of. "I don't know… I feel sick…"

"I can tell. Have you checked the scanner? Maybe you had bad energon?"

"Maybe…" I set the trashcan down and went to my drawers. I dug around until I found my scanner and scanned myself. My wings drooped when I read the results.

"What's wrong?" He perked his wings.

"I…" I swallowed. "Someone wasn't careful with their nanite wires. "Either you o-or Warp sparked me." I held up the scanner. "I-I'm carrying."

He just smirked, and came over to me. He pecked a kiss to my lip plates. "I was the one who sparked you. I kept my nanite wires plugged in when I bonded with you."

My optics widened. "You lied to me?"

"I didn't want to hear you whine as I sparked you." He tried hugging me but I shoved him away and leaped back.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" I shrieked. "I-I _trusted_ you! I told you I wasn't ready!"

"You always say you're not ready. And we need this sparkling. It will get things back to normal." He grunted, wings flaring at me as his optics narrowed some.

"I really am _not_ ready!" I threw the scanner down onto the floor, hard. "I-I'm still not better from trying to fragging kill myself! I still feel like I need to take one of my guns and shoot myself!"

"I confiscated those and your knives. You're not killing yourself and with this sparkling you'll be focused on them, not on your misery."

"Y-you don't understand!" Coolant was leaking out of my optics as I was on the verge of breaking down. "I-I feel l-like you don't e-even care about me. A-and when I started t-to think you actually _did_ y-you go behind my back a-and spark me! I'm not ready for this!"

"You need to calm down." He jabbed a digit at me, getting tired of me fighting him.

"You _lied_ to me! We bond to _build_ _trust_! Not to go behind each others' backplates!"

"I'm the trineleader. I can spark you in secret."

"Y-you're suppose to be my brother as well."

"It's just a sparkling. This isn't the end of the world."

"It's the end of whatever trust and respect I had for you."

That pissed him off. He grabbed my arm and yanked me out of my room and to his. I knew I was in trouble, and all I could do was start to cry harder. I was shoved against his berth, and obediently leaned over it. I listened to him grab the cable and stomp over to me. I grit my denta as the blows began to land on my aft hard and fast. I just looked ahead, crying from the pain and betrayal. I whimpered near the end of the aft beating, which was nearly a hundred lashes. I was learning how to handle the pain…

"Go to your room." He growled once he had finished with me.

I walked out, rubbing my sore aft. Skywarp teleported over to me just as I was entering my room.

"You alright?" He asked quietly.

"No." I replied as I went into my berth. "I was lied to and now I'm sparked. And telling my trineleader how I feel just got me an aft beating."

"Sparked?" He slowly perked his wings, then he swallowed as he lowered them again. "I-is he gonna spark me, too?"

"I don't know, Warp!" I snapped. "Just…" I grabbed a cushion from my berth and threw it at him. "Get out of my room and leave me alone!"

He jumped back, not expecting that. "Star, calm down."

"He lied to me! I hate it here! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shrieked, leaping to my peds and flaring my wings at him. "GO AWAY!"

Skywarp began to leak coolant, hurt by my words, but I wasn't thinking. I was so filled with rage, hurt, betrayal… I couldn't take living like this anymore. Where was my freedom? My choice? Why wasn't my body mine? The trineleader basically owned me, but Thundercracker had been wrong. That meant trineleaders were not perfect. So why should people who don't actually know what they're doing own my body..?

"What the hell is going on?" Thundercracker demanded as he stomped over, having heard me shouting.

Skywarp stepped behind him, nervous of what I might do next. I just flared my wings at my trineleader, coolant leaking down my cheekplates as I stood defiantly.

"What is your malfunction?" Thundercracker demanded of me.

"My malfunction?" I gave him a look as I pointed to myself. "My 'malfunction' is that I have a selfish slagheap who rather breed the little, precious prince of his than give a single _damn_ that that prince is his own person who has choices in life! It's my body! It's my life! An accident sparkling may be one thing, but to _purposely_ spark me behind my back is unacceptable! It's a betrayal of my trust! You don't even care how I feel! You just punish me for everything! I can't _stand_ being part of this trine! I _hate_ it here! I _hate_ it! I hate you! Why couldn't you just let me slagging die! I-I want to be dead! That's the only freedom I'll ever have! And you couldn't even let me have that choice!"

There was silence. The most uncomfortable silence ever. Skywarp was softly sobbing behind Thundercracker, wings low, and trembling. Thundercracker's wings lowered, and for a glimpse I saw sadness and… sparkbreak in those optics. But he quickly regained his composure, glaring at me with hard optics, and his wings flaring.

"Skywarp, go take care of the sparklings." He ordered.

Skywarp quickly left to do so, wanting far away from this scene. I glared at Thundercracker, and even flicked my wings at him. He calmly closed the door and locked it.

"What. The. Hell. Was. _That_?" He snapped.

"What's on my processor." I growled. "I'll make it easy for you." I turned and leaned over my berth, resting my torso over it and keeping my aft up in the air for him. "Go ahead. I know I earned it."

He seemed conflicted. I had been disrespectful and even insulted him, but I was acting like something was seriously wrong with my mental state with how I shouted at him and desired death. But, as with all traditional trineleaders, when in doubt just give them a beating. Beatings solve _everything_!

I looked ahead when I heard him unsubspace the metal cable he had on him. Then, he began to rain down the hardest, most brutal blows he could on my already sore aft. I managed to stay silent through about ten, but they were absolutely nasty and I was soon a bawling mess, screaming from the blows on my aft and thighs. He even gave my wings a few lashes. And it was not a quick beating. It kept going and going and going… It had to have lasted nearly three breems. But he was really pissed and this was how he got frustrations out. By the time he was done my aft was leaking from the heavy dents all over it, and I was almost hyperventilating from my pathetic sobs.

"You're not leaving this room until I say you can." He snapped. He paused, thinking a moment before speaking. "I can't trust you either, Starscream. You will be chained at night so I know you won't be able to get a hold of any weapons. And you're wearing the collar so I can track you. I won't chain you by it, but I will not risk losing you to suicide again."

I just lied on my berth, hugging myself as I cried. He watched me for a moment, then leaned over and kissed me on the cheekplates.

"I have to do what I must to take care of you. I love you, Starscream… Even if you don't love me back."

I pushed him away, then turned my back to him as I kept crying, even if it meant exposing my aft to him again. But, he didn't hit me. He instead walked out and went to his room. He closed the door, tossed the cable aside, and rubbed over his faceplates tiredly. He reset his optics and forced himself to calm down. He had to be strong. He was the trineleader. And he was only doing what he knew he had to do.

* * *

Skywarp wiggled excitedly against Thundercracker the next morning. He pressed his aft against Thunder's codpiece, grinding hard. He grabbed Thunder's arms and forced them to wrap around his waist, his wings fluttering. Skywarp thrust back against him, making it very obvious what he wanted.

"I'm not sparking you." Thundercracker grunted.

"Please?" Skywarp fluttered his wings, smiling up at him.

"No."

" _Please_ , Thunder! I want another with you!"

"Not if you lose another sparkling."

Skywarp's smile faded and his wings lowered. He let go of Thundercracker's arms and left to go to his room, hurt by that. Thundercracker vented a sigh, frustrated with how his trinemates all kept getting upset with him.

Skywarp knocked on my door, deciding to try me before his room. He then entered and closed the door.

"C-can I get a hug?" He asked between sobs.

I didn't look up as I sat on my berth, a servo resting over my abdominal plates. I slowly nodded, needing one myself. He quickly came over, sat beside me, and hugged me tightly, bawling his optics out into my chassis. I hugged him back, coolant beginning to leak from my own optics.

"H-he won't spark me." Skywarp cried. "W-why do I have to have a messed up body? I-I just want another sparkling!"

I vented a sigh. "I would gladly give you mine, Warp… I don't want to see you sad." I said softly.

"I-I don't want you to b-be sad either, Scree."

I was silent a moment. "I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday… I shouldn't have done that…"

"I-it's okay… Y-you were upset."

"It's not okay… You're my brother and… I can trust you. You never have lied to me or gone behind my back." I pushed him back enough so he could look me in the optics. "I don't want to die… I'm scared of dying… I just…" I paused to wipe at my optics, coolant starting to flow out more. "I don't know what else to do to escape this… I want my own life. I want to… I want to be me."

"Death isn't the way, Star. I-I need you. We all need you. I-If I lost you… I couldn't live. I would follow you."

"Don't follow me. You can do better than me."

"Not true! I love you, Star. I couldn't go on without you in my life. W-when I thought we had lost you forever…" He swallowed, taking a moment. "My processor went somewhere dark and… I don't ever want to go there again. If I lost you, I would follow. And then our creations would have lost their carriers. And we need to take care of them. They come first."

I slowly nodded. "I know… Just… I have these thoughts and… I hate them, but they won't go away…"

"I'm here. Talk to me. I-I may not be a therapist o-or have any special schooling on psychology, but I can still help. I just can't lose you."

I just hugged him. "Thanks, Warp. I'll try to be more open with you."

"Just promise me you won't ever attempt suicide ever again. And if you feel like doing it… You come straight to me, no matter where I am, what I'm doing, or what mood I'm in. I will always stop everything, the entire planet's rotation even, to take care of you."

I had to faintly smile at that. "You're the best, Skywarp."

"I know I am." He gave me a loving squeeze.

"I want you to help me designate this one."

He fluttered his wings. "Think you'll have a mechling this time?"

"Naw… It's a femmling. I can only have those." I paused. "I want to have one with you."

"Yeah?" He perked his wings.

"Yeah…"

"I would love to have one with you, Scree." He then kissed me on the lip plates.

"Maybe some orbital cycle…"

"Maybe…" He kissed me again, then just hugged me close, the two of us comforting each other, having only the other to help us get through this miserable existence.

* * *

I was not a happy camper… I waited a few orbital cycles before telling my daughters that I was carrying. They were all excited. I then took Dawn aside and gave her The Talk so she knew why her carrier had another in him. I honestly expected her to be fascinated and quiet about it as Zephyr had been. But… Dawn completely freaked out at the idea of a mech putting something inside of her, and with that thing put a sparkling in her only for the sparkling to come out that same hole a stellar cycle later. Honestly, I question the same thing. Why should I have to push a sparkling out of the same hole I took them in? She raised some other valid points, and now I question the entire design for biological procreation… The minds of sparklings…

Skywarp also gave Storm The Talk, but I don't think he did a very good job because Storm came to me later wanting me to explain it to him.

Two of my daughters know how I made them. I hated them getting so old! Argh! Stay little!

I avoided Thundercracker. I was so beyond pissed at him. I was _so_ pissed that when he asked me how I was I would respond with "fine." Yeah, things were that serious. And he knew that if we had a cyberdog house he would be recharging in it. I didn't let him recharge with me, either. I invited my daughters for recharge overs and no mechs were allowed. Well, minus me of course… I didn't even make Thundercracker lunch to take to work. No, he had to make it himself the night before. This carrier was done. _DONE_.

While I held a grudge and acted like Thundercracker didn't even exist. Skywarp still kept trying to get Thunder to spark him. He begged, he offered himself, he tried pleasuring him extra, but nothing worked. All he ended up with was a few aft beatings for annoying Thunder.

Skywarp eventually did give up and cried himself to recharge for over an orn straight. He even managed to get permission from Thundercracker to go visit his carrier. He took Skyblast with him and was gone for a few orbital cycles.

It was about four decacycles into my carrying that Skyblast and Tempest started school. I found out I had a femmling in me, which that doctor visit was very awkward for everyone. I kept telling the nurses to ask Thundercracker questions for me and would not respond to anything he said unless a nurse repeated it back to me. I wouldn't hold his servo, look at him, nothing. And the entire hospital staff looked like they wanted to melt into the floor. It was quite interesting.

Zephyr turned 15 stellar cycles old, got her very first paint job of dark blue, a sky blue, and silver. I cried. I cried when Tempest started school. I cried when Dawn went to the next grade. I did a lot of crying…

Despite avoiding Thundercracker I still managed to get regular aft beatings. At one point during this carrying I got six aft beatings in one orbital cycle, and another time I managed to get about two aft beatings each orbital cycle for eight orbital cycles in a row. I guess even not talking to someone you can still manage to screw up.

I was five decacycles along and had gotten a particularly nasty aft beating when I decided to go ahead and invite Skyfire over. I needed him. I hadn't seen him since before I got sparked and I just needed my friend.

"Hey." Skyfire smiled.

"Yo!" Skywarp greeted as he let him in, then teleported to the couch. "Scree is in his room."

"Thanks." Skyfire started that way, noticing Thundercracker watching him from the table. Skyfire quickly went up the stairs and knocked on my door. He entered when he heard me call him in. "Hey." He said softly, wings lowering when seeing me. "You alright?"

I was lying on my berth, my aft pressed against the wall to protect it. I looked up at him without moving my helm, but did nothing else. He sat beside me and gently stroked my helm.

"What happened?" He asked.

"I was punished… I'm feeling sick from this sparkling, and I hate my miserable existence…" I groused.

"Want me to help you leave?"

"I can't leave, Skyfire. Not like…" I vented a sigh, not wanting to start this again. "It would just be harder on me to live with four sparklings and trying to care for them all… And custody would suck… And I would have to either convinced Skywarp to come with me or stay, and I can't stand him being away from me… No, I can't leave like that. I either stay or I remove all equations and just shoot my useless, dumb brain module and make everyone happy."

"Don't talk like that." He said sternly. "We all love you and would be lost without you."

"Lost or missing my valve?"

"Stop it." He snapped. "You know I love you and couldn't care less about interface."

"Everyone wants me for the interface…"

He vented a sigh. "Starscream… How can I help you right now?"

I was silent a moment, thinking it over, then finally decided he should know. "I'm feeling suicidal again… I'm too scared to tell Thundercracker because his solution is to chain me to something and stay in the same room with me until 'it passes.' He has no idea what he's doing and I have no idea what to tell him." I wiped away some coolant tears beginning to leak out. "I have daughters to take care of. I need to be able to stay for them. And I don't want to kill myself when I have someone in me. What is that? First degree murder? Not that it would matter my sentence since I would be dead anyway…"

"Do you feel like actually going through with it, or just thoughts?"

I bit my lower lip plate. "I feel like hurting myself… But I don't think I am bad enough to actually shoot myself. I feel like just running away and… Do something away from here…"

"Let's get your processor off everything. So… how's school?"

"It sucks…."

"Having trouble with anything?"

"Getting the willpower to do homework."

"Want me to help you?"

"Sure. Do it for me."

"Star…"

I vented a sigh. "Why did It have to be me…? What did I do?"

Skyfire reached over, grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. He hugged me firmly as he gently rocked me. I hugged him back, wishing things were better and I wasn't me. Everyone would be better off if I just didn't exist. But, I had to bring this new sparkling to term. I wouldn't take one of my own daughters with me.

I just wish I didn't screw up everything.

* * *

I was six decacycles into the carrying when a major change in my life would take place. I would say this was the beginning of me finding out who I am, what I could do, and my path to freedom.

I was in a mood, pissed at my trineleader still for secretly sparking me. I was cleaning the living room, not entirely easy with how far along I was, while Thundercracker was reading from a datapad on the couch, having just gotten home a bit ago from work. The Seekerlets were watching TV, and Zephyr was in her room doing whatever adolescents do. Talk to friends or something. She did things different from me when I was her age.

"Hey, could you hand me the remote?" Thundercracker asked.

I glared at him. "Get it yourself." I said bitterly.

His wings flared. "Watch your tone, Starscream. I asked nicely and you're right by it."

"You can help yourself. You do so with my body." I went back to cleaning.

His optics narrowed. "Do you want to get a beating?"

"Of course. Everything comes down to me getting a beating or a dominating. No, 'hey, Starscream, what can I do to help you?' Nope. Just beat me to shut me up and remind me that I am nothing but your breeding slave. Maybe once you get all the sparklings you want out of me you'll dump me on the street before looking for your new pretty face to frag. Maybe you'll dump me when I'm no longer pretty, or my valve isn't as tight, or my spark not as bright. I'm just a trophy mate." I threw down the cloth I had been using to wipe the furniture clean. "Because I know you didn't trine me for who I am. You just wanted a prince." I flicked my wings.

That certainly pissed him off. He stood up, tossed his datapad down, grabbed my arm, and yanked me to follow. I did, not really feeling much. I knew I was going to be hurt, I knew I would be screamed at, but I just felt so empty inside. I deserved to be hurt. I was a useless prince who only every screwed up everything and needed to be punished. I was just meant to be bred, fragged, and beaten. I wasn't worth anything else.

He dragged me to my room, shoved me against my berth, and unsubspaced the metal cable. I obediently leaned over, my torso resting on the top as I kept my aft in the air for him. I grit my denta as the lashes began to strike my aft, but I didn't say anything. I was getting use to the pain.

He was quite pissed and done with my poor attitude, so he really gave it to me. He was hitting as hard and fast as he could, and I soon found myself yelping and sobbing from the pain. My aft was dented, and even beginning to tear and leak some energon.

"Sire, stop!"

"Zephyr, go back to your room." Thundercracker barked before resuming my punishment.

"Leave my carrier alone!" Zephyr stormed over and grabbed his arm, stopping him from hitting me. She was almost as tall at me now, and she was trained how to fight, making her not entirely weak.

"Zephyr!" He grabbed her wrists, easily pulling her off him. "Go to your room, _now_!"

"LEAVE MY CARRIER ALONE!" She screamed, kicking him and struggling to be freed.

He easily picked her up, tossed her out of the room, and slammed the door shut. She leaped to her peds and tried opening it, but he had locked it. She kicked the door when she heard him resuming beating me.

"ARGH!" She stomped to her room, punching the wall.

"He's just doing what he has to." Storm grunted.

"He doesn't 'have' to beat carrier! That is abuse!"

"It's punishment. It's how things are. Stop being such a brat about it." Storm flicked his wings.

"Yeah, Zephyr." Dawn replied. "Even carrier says he's earned beatings and deserves them."

"This isn't right." Zephyr flicked her wings. "Leave me alone!"

"Whatever." Storm shrugged before walking away.

Zephyr shoved Dawn out, then closed and locked her door. She paced around, wings flicking, furious with what was happening. What was always happening. She looked at her communicator, hesitated, then picked it up. She dialed a number before holding it to her audio receptor.

"Emergency. State your emergency and address." The vocalizer on the other end said.

Zephyr swallowed. "My sire is beating my carrier again. H-he keeps hurting him, punching him, flogging him, even chains him to his berth and drives him suicidal. He's beating him right now. I live at the Suntown Apartment complex, building 7, apartment number 1452 on the twenty-seventh floor. My sire is very large and strong so please bring extra officers." She swallowed, coolant beginning to leak out of her optics. "Please, save my carrier."

"We will, dear. I'm dispatching officers to you now and an ambulance for your carrier. Where are you?"

"I'm hiding in my room. I tried saving carrier, but sire threw me out of the room. I have siblings. There are two who are 10 stellar cycles old and two who are 5 and 4. Carrier is sparked. He's in the sixth decacycle. A-and my uncle lives here as well. H-he's abused, too. My sire is the blue one. Carrier is red and silver and my uncle is purple and black."

"Where are the other sparklings?"

"In their room? The living room? I don't know… My uncle probably is in his room."

"Is it safe for you to leave your room?"

"Y-yeah."

"Can you unlock the front door?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Zephyr walked out of her room, snuck to the front door, and unlocked it. "Okay, I unlocked it."

"I need you to get the other sparklings and you all hide in your room. And don't come out no matter what you hear. Can you do that for me?"

"I can." She bit her lower lip plate, trying to hide how nervous she was. She went over to the couch and picked up Skyblast.

"Hey!" He looked at her.

"We're going to play in my room for a bit. You too, Tempy." Zephyr said before leading Tempest with her to her room. "Here, play my videogames." She handed them a couple of tablets as they sat on her berth. "Okay, The younger two are in my room." She told the operator.

"Is your sire still hurting your carrier?"

She stopped outside of my room and perked her wings. They lowered. "Yeah, he's still beating him."

"They're almost there."

Zephyr went to Storm's room. "Hey, Storm, Can you go in my room and help the little ones? I'll be right over."

"Yeah, sure." He got up and went to attend to the sparklings.

Zephyr then went to Dawn's room. "Dawn, I want to show you something on my computer."

"Can't you send it to me?" Dawn perked her wings.

"I tried and it wouldn't send for some reason. Just come over."

"Okay…" Dawn stood up from her desk and went with her older sister.

Once Zephyr had them all in her room she closed and locked the door. "They're safe."

"Good." The operator said.

"Who are you talking to?" Storm asked as he sat on Zephyr's berth.

"Just stay in here." Zephyr said quickly. "Please, just stay here."

"What's going on?" Dawn demanded.

"Just stay in here." Zephyr said again, softer this time, beginning to lose control over her emotions. She was terrified of what would happen, but she had to save me and her uncle.

The younger ones had never seen Zephyr nervous, and that made them scared as well. Their wings lowered as they hugged each other on the berth.

"I'm scared." Skyblast said as coolant began to leak out of his optics, not sure what was happening, but sensing the stress in the room.

"Just stay in here." Zephyr repeated. "We're safe in here."

It wasn't long before there was banging on the front door along with shouting, "IACON POLICE! COME OUT NOW!"

Zephyr swallowed. "They're here." She said to the operator.

"Stay in the room." The operator instructed.

Thundercracker ceased beating me when he heard the shouting. "What the hell?" He tossed the cable down and stepped out of the room.

Skywarp stood in the doorway to his room, wings low. I got up, one servo rubbing my aft as the other wiped away coolant from my optics.

Thundercracker motioned for us to stay where we were before going down the stairs. "I'M COMING! I'M UNARMED!" He shouted before opening the door, keeping his servos up.

It was a flood of police officers into the apartment, and in no time they had slammed Thundercracker to the ground, forced his arms behind his back, and manacled him. Other officers quickly made their way up the stairs and towards us. I was scared and hugged Skywarp, the two of us keeping our wings low and being as submissive as possible.

"Are you alright?" An officer asked us.

"I-I-" I swallowed. What's going on?"

"We got a call about a domestic disturbance." The officer replied. "Someone was being harmed by a large, blue mech."

I bit my bottom lip plate. "I-I have sparklings. Where are my sparklings?" I was suddenly worried for them.

Zephyr poked her helm out of her room as an officer knocked on the door.

"Are all the sparklings in here?" He asked.

She nodded. "Yes. I was the one who made the call."

"You can come out. We got your sire. He's not hurting anyone."

Zephyr stepped out, as well as the other sparklings. I was quickly over and hugging my daughters, and Skywarp had his sons in his arms.

"What's going on?" I asked, pretty sure I knew who made the call.

"I called them." Zephyr replied. "You're safe now, carrier."

I didn't know what to say. I looked up when a paramedic stopped beside me.

"Do you need medical treatment?" He asked.

I didn't answer immediately. "I'm fine." I walked past him and went down the stairs, going over to where they had my trineleader standing, with manacles on his wrists and an inhibitor claw on his back, tearing into his shoulders. Some people I know will question why I wasn't leaping with joy that the person who hurt me so much was finally being taken away. Why I wasn't so happy and dancing with glee. But, those people also have never been in the situation as I, and many others, have been. I still loved him, and it hurt to see someone I loved like that. And… I was scared. If he got out and was mad at me, I would be punished. And I still didn't see him as the "bad guy." I still saw my trineleader who was just doing what he had to do… So, I started to cry, not wanting this. I hugged him, crying with my wings drooping. "P-please, don't t-take him away." I begged.

"He's going to jail and then the court will decide if he'll be freed or not." An officer apprised me.

I slowly shook my helm. "I-I'm carrying his daughter. H-he needs t-to be there f-for when she's born."

"It's all up to the court now."

I looked up at Thundercracker and kissed him on the lip plates. "I-I'm sorry. I-I don't-"

"I know you didn't do this." He said softly. "Listen to me. Shh, calm down, love." He said gently. Some would say he was just being manipulative, but… I think still he was truly trying to calm me down. "Listen to me. You need to be strong. Skywarp will take care of all of you. They won't keep me locked away long. What proof do they have that I was doing anything wrong? We're Seekers, this is how we live, and they'll release me on that. They're just doing this because they get hard when they make an arrest. That's why there's unlawful arrests all the time." He grunted.

"I-I don't want y-you to be in jail."

"It won't be long." He kissed me. "Stay calm. You have a sparkling in you."

Skywarp was suddenly there and hugging Thundercracker, crying. Thundercracker kissed him on the cheekplates.

"Shhh, it's going to be alright, Warp. I won't be away for long. Take care of them."

"I-I will." Skywarp nodded, wiping his optics.

"I hope you rust away in prison and get your aft raped!" Zephyr shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

"Zephyr! Go to your room!" I shouted, then hugged Thundercracker.

"I'm talking to an officer!" She yelled back before talking to the police officer again.

"Sire!" Several vocalizer exclaimed as the younger four ran over.

Thundercracker got down on one knee to see them better. "Don't cry, sweeties. Sire isn't going to be away long."

"WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Skyblast screamed, hugging his sire as he bawled his optics out.

"Don't take sire away!" Tempest yelled at the officers, hugging her sire as well.

"It's going to be alright." Thundercracker tried to calm them down. "Storm, Dawn, help your carriers take care of your younger siblings. Understood?"

"Yes, sire." Storm nodded, hugging his sire.

"We'll help, don't worry." Dawn said as she also embraced her sire.

"I know you will." Thundercracker pecked a kiss to all of their cheekplates.

I turned to an officer. "What do I need to do to get an attorney a-and the court date and the-the location he'll be at?"

"What you're going to do is call the station and we'll let you know where we transported him to. Depending on his behavior and space available will determine where we can hold him until we can move him to a prison. The court date will be assigned and that will be sent to you. Just leave your information with the station to be filed away under his documents."

I asked the officer several more questions and took notes of everything he said. I did my best to not cry anymore. I had to be strong for my creations and nephews. What hurt the most was when the officers individually asked the Seekerlets if they were ever abused or didn't feel safe. I would never hurt my sparklings, and I understand why the officers did it, but it just… It still effects me to this orbital cycle. I love my daughters and nephews. I could never hurt them or allow anyone else to hurt them.

Zephyr made it very clear to the officers that Thundercracker only hurt me and Skywarp, and the Seekerlets were perfectly safe and unharmed. And she said something about having "all the evidence" which made me nervous exactly what she had been doing behind my back. But, I was too distraught to question her about it.

After the officers got all the information they needed, collected evidence of Thundercracker harming me with the marks on my body and the weapons he used for punishment from his room, they then allowed us to say farewell. The younger ones all cried and hugged their sire, but Zephyr simply waved him farewell, flipped a nasty Vosian servo gesture at him, and skipped happily away.

I went last to say goodbye. I waited for Skywarp to step back before I hugged my trineleader and kissed him on the lip plates. "Stay safe. Behave. Do everything the officers tell you, don't give them any attitude, and please come home." I ordered him, trying not to cry.

"I will. This will all be over in a few orbital cycles. You'll see." He kissed me again. "Take good care of the younglings and yourself." He paused. "I love you. Don't do anything."

I swallowed, knowing what he meant. "I will still be here… alive, for when you come home." I forced a small smile. "We have a daughter who's almost ready to see her beautiful sire."

He faintly smiled back. "I'll be there to greet her."

"I know you will." I kissed him one last time before they took him away.

Once they had left I just felt… So hollow. My trineleader wasn't there to lead us or protect us. We were on our own for who knows how long. And I had to figure out all of this court and legal slag on my own. On top of that I had to still do school, take care of my daughters, carry this sparkling, and not freak out about all of this.

I didn't tell the younglings to go to berth. They would need some time to relax before they could even begin to consider recharge. I just let them do whatever they wanted. They were stressed and scared and needed to just play games, eat goodies, and feel better. Skywarp went to his room to cry, and I went to Zephyr's room to be a carrier.

"Why did you do it?" I demanded as I stood in her doorway.

"To save you." She snapped. "Don't everyone thank me at once."

"Your sire is recharging in a jail cell tonight because of your actions, young femme."

"Good."

"This isn't a game, Zephyr. If he doesn't get out he will lose his job, we'll have no Shanix, and then you know what happens to us? _Poor house_."

"It's better than letting him beat you and Uncle Warp."

"It's punishment! I-" I flicked my wings and stomped a ped. "I'm not having this conversation with you anymore. You very likely screwed us over with your actions."

"I saved you!"

"At what cost!?"

She was hurt. She turned away, ignoring me. My wings lowered, hating when my daughters cry.

"I get where you're coming from, Zephyr. But sometimes… The world isn't black and white. There's a lot of grey in there." I paused. "I love you, Zephyr. And your sire loves you. Even if you betrayed him." I was silent a moment, then went over to her and hugged her. She hugged me back, coolant leaking from her optics. "I love you, Zephyr. So much. I know you're just trying to do what you know is right. Just… We need your sire. I can't take care of all of us alone."

"I-I'll help you." She said softly.

"I know you will. But, some things… We need your sire for. Like, working a good job." I vented a sigh. "I think we're both just too worked up and stressed right now… I'm going to recharge."

"Can I stay with you?"

"Yeah… I could use someone to hug."

"Love you carrier."

"I know… I know you do." I offlined my optics, holding my precious daughter close.

She loved me far more than I ever deserved.

* * *

 **Huh, managed to get a chapter done despite this being the first week back to college. Don't expect it to stay like this... The semester only has begun...**

 **Star's will and final farewell just said who gets his stuff, how he felt, why he did it, and that he loved everyone. The stuff he says and thinks throughout this chapter and previous one, basically. Loves his daughters, no longer will screw up people's lives, everyone will be happy, etc.**

 **Living a lie and being scared to realize it and make a change is what many carnists do when they are faced by vegans. Don't live a lie! GO VEGAN! :D**

 **Thundercracker isn't pressing to know about Gearshift because he's trying to be easy on Starscream. Same as not killing Skyfire. He knows Star is not in a good mental place and he's trying not to push anything that would make Star kill himself. But, he doesn't understand that it's his actions pushing Star since, well, ALL trineleaders punish and breed their submissives!**

 **Sadly, some idiots procreate simple to "fix" their relationship. Children are NOT for making you feel better about yourselves! Only selfish idiots have kids for that or because they"have" to or because they think they would be "bored" or "regret" not having them.**

 **Even though Star is talking about the right of his body, does not excuse selfish women who bitch about their bodies and killing babies. It's your body, yes, but the baby in you is ANOTHER body and they have the right to live. And, yes, murdering a pregnant woman is a double homicide. So... Star killing himself when preggo WOULD be a murder!**

 **When a woman says they're "fine" it means you are in DEEP shit. And Star is TOTALLY a femme. XD**

 **I've been suicidal and some of Star's thoughts, feelings, etc. are ones I've experience and continue to experience. Being suicidal sucks... Been suicidal since I was little... :( My pets are the only reason I'm still here today. I couldn't leave them behind because I know my parents would have killed them, and now I know no one would prepare their food properly. My furbabies are pampered...**

 **Thundercracker is calm with police because things go better when you don't fight them. Never fight police. It just ends badly. Don't be a sovereign citizen either. Those are what we call "morons." (Check my dA for a journal I wrote explaining sovereign citizens).**

 **Speaking of police, just today, (1/28) I went through a yellow light to ensure a cop behind me got stuck at the red and wouldn't be around me because... He looked really mean... I also saw a new police car the other night and it looked like Prowl during an arc of the IDW G1 series. The one where everyone is saying he's fat? That car design without all the armor, and angry headlights. It was Prowl. He's here outside of Washington, DC. Be warned. Prowl is here probably to take care of the idiot Trump. Maybe... Hopefully...**


	16. Sentencing

**Chapter 16**

I couldn't recharge that night. All I thought about was my trineleader locked away in a cold cell without me or Warp to cuddle with. And who knows what they may be doing to him there. I didn't have him there to comfort me when I needed him to.

Skywarp came into my room and snuggled with me for comfort. He was more scared than I was. But then again, he was next in charge and he wasn't ready for the responsibility. Neither of us were.

I called the station in the morning and asked about seeing him, but they simply told me that visiting joors were at a certain time each orn, and I would have to fill out paperwork and all of this slag. I managed to learn more information about the process, and even did a lot of research online. I never cared much for the technicalities of the law before, but now I needed to know everything in order to help him get out of jail, handle this court date, and protect him from anything else that may happen.

Zephyr was excited to go to school, but the other ones asked to stay home. I completely understood so called their teachers to inform them that there was some family matters and the little ones needed an orbital cycle off to process things and de-stress. Zephyr was out the door and went to ride the bus. She was flying with her thruster heels by now and very soon would be able to start transforming fully. At this time she could only do some partial transformation. So, she was hard to keep in one place.

If going to school made her happy, I wouldn't stop her. But I certainly needed help. I called Skyfire and asked him to come visit me. Just that. Nothing else. Just to come over and talk.

I waited in the living room, my wings perking when I heard the knock on the balcony door. Storm ran to open it.

"Hey, there." Skyfire smiled.

"Hi, Skyfire!" Storm greeted, letting him in.

"So, what's up?" Skyfire asked as he walked over to me. "You alright?" He asked when seeing my somber expression.

I slowly shook my helm, not looking at him. He sat down beside me, stroking my backplates.

"What happened, sweetie?"

I swallowed, wringing my servos, my optics watching them. "M-my eldest called the police last night… A-and they arrested my trineleader f-for domestic abuse towards me and Skywarp." Coolant started to pool in my optics. "I-I know you're going to be happy and say th-this is good, but… I'm not happy. He's in prison awaiting a court date… A-and if he's found guilty h-he'll lose his job… W-we won't be able to afford living here anymore with having to take care of six sparklings, a-and I'll have to drop out of school and try to work… And what if I have to get a night job downtown on a corner? Then I will be a whore…"

"Starscream, you're not going to end up prostituting. It's not going to come down to that."

"It will if I have to in order to take care of my daughters. My pride and safety be damned if it means ensuring my sparklings get a-an education, a warm place to recharge, a-and plenty of energon."

"Star, sweetie, if Thundercracker loses his job then everyone just gets a job. You just work part time as you go to school and with your trinemates also working it'll balance everything out. We can also get a donation-"

"I don't want people's charity. My sire has paid for half of my student loans, as well as all of my medical bills… H-he even sent me Shanix for when Dawn got sick from that virus. I-I've asked so much of him and he's also having to help my other several hundreds of siblings and my even more hundreds of nieces and nephews when they desperately need it. He's too damn charitable with his Shanix… He's even working on getting another school built. I can't bother him anymore."

It doesn't have to be just your sire who helps you."

"We need to be able to do this ourselves."

"Well, what do you need me to do?

"Just… No matter what happens… Please, be there. I-I'm going to need your help."

"I will be. I always am."

I took his servo and made him press it over my abdominal plates. He smiled after a moment.

"Yeah, I feel her." He said softly.

"I-I decided on a designation for her."

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Rogue. Because… I've been kind of that during this entire carrying."

"I like it. Fits someone who is your creation."

"I just want her to wait until her sire is out so he can be present for her birth."

"When is she due?"

"In like eight orbital cycles… And none of my creations ever arrive on their due date. I just… I'm also worried for Skywarp. He's the second so… He's in charge and he's not ready. It was so sudden and he's been… Having a difficult time of late so it's a lot of stress on him. I just don't want him freaking out or… I don't know…"

"It's going to be fine, Starscream. You'll see."

"I hope so."

Skyfire hesitated, then kissed me on the lip plates. I bit my lower lip plate, part of me wanting him, but the other part knew that now was the worst time to get involved again. The ones I was already mated to came first.

"Not now, Sky…" I said barely louder than a whisper. "I need to focus on my trine. My family comes first."

"I wasn't trying to get in the way. I just… Really miss you."

"I know… I'm too stressed and I feel like utter slag." I was silent a moment. "If Skywarp is alright… Do you want to stay the night? We could use some help around here. I… can't do anything with Rogue in me, and Skywarp needs help taking care of the younger ones."

"I can stay if you need me to. Let me know what he says and I'll just bunk here on the couch."

"You can recharge on my berth. I'm going to be staying in Skywarp's room. We need each other."

"I can do that."

"Alright… Let me roll that way since walking is now a nightmare…"

"Want me to carry you?"

"Help me up."

Skyfire did just that, helping me stand up. I placed my servos over my abdominal plates and went to go up the stairs. Well, I used my thruster heels to scale them. This carrier was suffering enough as it was. I went to Skywarp's room and entered.

"Hey, sexy."

"Hey, sexier." Skywarp greeted, sitting on the futon, Skyblast on his lap.

"So… I was wondering if Skyfire could stay with us to help with the sparklings and everything. _Just_ until Thundercracker is freed. It's just… I can't do anything right now, and if Rogue comes out before TC is freed it's going to be really hard to take care of all of them and maybe… Looking for potential jobs." I paused. "I will not interface with him, promise. He can stay in my room and I'll stay with you. And I'll make sure he obeys you. You're in charge, I respect that, and I submit fully to your command."

Skywarp was silent a moment, thinking. "I don't trust you around him… Not really…" He said softly, his wings lowering.

"I won't have any such contact with him. I promise. A-and if I do anything with him that displeases you I'll submit willingly to my punishment. Just… Please, 'Warp. We need help. I can't do this alone, and you're stressed enough. _I'm_ stressed. We need help."

Skywarp vented a sigh. "Fine… But I want you in berth with me every night and I don't want you alone with him."

"I won't, promise."

"If he's going to help… He can start tomorrow by taking the Seekerlets to school."

"I'll let him know." I went over to Skywarp and kissed him on the lip plates. "Thanks, love." I kissed him again. "Need anything from me?"

"Not right now…" He said slowly.

I lowered my wings. He's was stressed and worried. He wasn't ready to be in charge like this, and he was trying to figure out what Thundercracker would do. I wanted to help, but I was the submissive. I just obeyed, carried sparklings, cared for them, and submitted to everything under the sun. There was nothing I could, or should, do.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

I kissed him again, then left the room. I went down the stairs, slowly, and returned to Skyfire.

"You're good. I'll help you get settled in my room." I said.

"Okay, let me go back to my place and grab a few things." He replied as he stood.

"Alright. See you in a bit then." I slowly lowered myself onto the couch, offlined my optics, and held my abdominal plates. I just felt my youngest daughter kicking inside of me, dreading when she would decide to come out.

* * *

We were unable to visit Thundercracker for the next few orbital cycles. It absolutely sucked. Something about them transporting him, and paperwork, and all this slag, and that causing us to miss the next visiting time, and just… Their system was so screwed up I'm not sure they even understood it. And so we just weren't able to see or call him. I called my sire and talked to him about it and he said he would do what he could to help us. I just told him not to give me Shanix. But, he loved his creations far too much and did send me some Shanix. Skycutter really was an awesome sire.

It was night, and I was cuddled against Skywarp, feeling safe in his arms as he held me close. Skyfire was in my room, and the Seekerlets all in their own berthrooms. I onlined my optics, their glow casting a dim light onto Skywarp's faceplates. I felt very warm, from the little one in me and Skywarp's frame pressed tightly against mine. I wasn't sure why I onlined. It was just weird and I tried to go back to recharge, but then I felt something… warm moving across my thighs. I wasn't sure what it was with my still half online brain module. I kept trying to figure out what it could be, until I felt the familiar sting in my spark chamber, followed by several hard kicks inside of my body. I gasped, feeling that connection break, realizing that the sparkling's spark broke off from mine and was entering her protoform. I grasped Skywarp, biting my lower lip plate, Rogue thrashing around in the gestation tank, coming fully online inside of me as her spark finally nestled inside of her, and she began to twist around to come out of me.

I had felt this same feeling with my other daughters, but for some reason it just felt more… potent with her.

I don't know why, but I didn't online Skywarp. I just stayed silent, feeling her settle back down, then the pain subsided. There was nothing anymore. I don't know why she stopped. Maybe she got tired from that much work and needed a break. But, she was going to be coming out either in a few kliks or joors. Which meant she was coming out before her sire was freed…

I wanted to cry. It wasn't right that he would miss one of his daughter's birth all because of some lousy police officers and a terrible court system. He should be with us… He should be the one taking me to the hospital.

"Skywarp?" I said softly, feeling the gestation liquid coating my thighs beginning to become cold. "Skywarp?" I said louder when he didn't online the first time.

"Hmm?" He slowly onlined, crimson optics looking into mine. "What's wrong, Scree?" He pecked a kiss to my lip plates.

"Rogue is ready to come out. I need to go to the hospital." I said quietly.

He slowly nodded, not happy. He wanted Thundercracker to be there for Rogue's birth as well. "Okay… I'll get you there." He got out of berth and picked me up bridal style. "Just don't give birth on the way."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him. "I don't think she's that eager to come out…"

But I was proven wrong. She started to demand to come out while we were on the way to the hospital, and she was practically crawling out by the time I was on a medberth and the nurses were getting me prepared. My body was having an easier time with giving birth since I had a few before. I just wish Skywarp could teleport me, but there was a risk when carrying. Don't need the sparkling fusing to the inside of me or something…

"Nrrrgh!" I growled with my final push, feeling the last of Rogue leave my body.

She didn't cry when she came out. She was quiet, but not having an difficulties. She made a whimpering sound, very quiet, and reached out her tiny fists for me. The nurses quickly cleaned and took measurements before handing her back to me bundled up in a warm blanket. I held her close, her faceplates not as dark as my other daughters. She was already taking more after her sire.

I kissed her brow, my wings gently fluttering despite my exhaustion. "Hey, sweetie." I said quietly.

Skywarp sat beside me on the medberth and kissed me on the lip plates. "She's beautiful. Congrats." He said barely louder than a whisper. I could hear how sad he was. He wasn't having his own sparkling this time.

I glanced at Rogue, then handed her over to him. "Here. She wants to make her uncle happy."

He looked at me before taking her. "Hey, Rogue…" He carefully kissed her on the cheekplates. "Can I steal you?"

"You may." I pressed my brow against his, then our cheekplates. "He'll spark you again… I'll make sure of it. And if he doesn't…" I paused. "I'll do it and we pretend he made a mistake with his nanite wires."

Skywarp faintly smiled. "I'll think about that…" He exhaled heavily. "Think he'll be freed?"

"They can't keep him in there forever… He never did anything worthy of being jailed over."

"Yeah, but grounders are…. sensitive."

"We'll have to see, Skywarp."

Rogue decided to start crying then, and I carefully took her back. I removed my chestplates and soon she was contently nursing, her little arms wiggling inside of her bundled up blanket. I leaned against Skywarp, tired and needing someone there. It just didn't feel right, any of this. And little did we know how much our lives were about to change.

* * *

It was another few orbital cycles before I finally was able to get everything figure out with the prison and go see my trineleader. We left the Seekerlets, minus Rogue, with Skyfire, not wanting them to have to see their sire behind bars.

We had to go through extra security simply because we're Seekers, and I literally had someone reach around inside of my chestplates in case "I hid a weapon there to pull out when my sparkling nursed." Yeah, they _actually_ told me that… As you can imagine, I was quite pissed when a mech with cold servos reached around where only my trinemates and sparklings were allowed to touch. And guess what? They found _nothing_! They even had us empty our subspaces…

When we finally got passed that nightmare, we had to go to the high security. Which meant a pane of glass between me and my love, and only able to talk through a communicator hooked up to the one on his side. We sat down at one of the open spots, and I hid Rogue just beneath the desk.

We both perked our wings, excited to see our beloved trineleader. We excitedly watched the guards go to get him, ignoring the other prisoners talking to their friends and family all around us. We heard the clopping of thruster heels faintly, and Skywarp stood up.

Our wings lowered when we saw him…

Thundercracker sat down in front of his, his wrists manacled together. He looked absolutely exhausted, and I could tell he wasn't getting enough recharge, nor was he being treated properly. He seemed on edge, as if the guards would harm him for anything he did wrong.

"Hey, my beautiful brothers." He smiled faintly, talking into his communicator, a servo on the glass.

We both touched the glass, trying to touch him. Skywarp was doing his best to hide his emotions, but I allowed coolant to leak from my optics. I couldn't stand seeing him behind that glass, looking like that.

"Hey, sexy." Skywarp said softly into the communicator on our side. "We miss you."

"I miss you guys, too. How are my creations?" Thundercracker asked.

"Doing well. They all miss you and hope to see you soon."

"Rogue is doing well." I faintly smirked.

"Yeah?" Thundercracker perked his wings. "How are you feeling?"

I paused, then lifted her up and placed her on the desk before us, her red optics shining bright as she looked around. "She came out four orbital cycles ago. Her optics onlined last night while I was giving her a bath."

He swallowed, upset he missed her birth and her onlining her optics. He had been present for those two big events for all of his other creations. He looked like he wanted to cry, but he reset his optics and forced a small smile. "Hey, Rogue. I'm your sire, sweetie. Love you." He put his servo on the glass in front of her.

Rogue eyed him, but was more interested in discovering she had peds. Which, I find is a terrific thing to see whenever I online and find my own. Important stuff right there.

I held her close to me and gave her a gentle hug. "I think she looks the most like you out of all of our daughters. She even recharged all last night without onlining for fuel. I think she knew she was going to see her sire and wanted to make sure she didn't fall into recharge."

His smile grew a little. "She's beautiful. You did a good job as always, Starscream. H-how was the birth?"

"She came out very fast. No problems. Nice and healthy, and fat. Weighed more than Tempest or Zephyr. And she already is helping me with school."

"She solving those hard equations not even I know?"

"She's doing calculus." I smiled, hugging my daughter.

"I can't wait to hold her." He turned to me. "Have they told you anything?"

I shook my helm. "Negative, sir."

"Yeah, we're still trying to figure things out." Skywarp added.

"They told me a court date was made but not when that actually was. And they said for me to get an attorney. Like we have the Shanix for one… I have sparklings to take care of, not pay a damn attorney."

"We'll get everything figured out." Skywarp said softly. "Don't worry. You'll get out of here and go back to humping us every night, morning, constantly…"

"When I get out I'm going to do you both at once." He smirked.

I fluttered my wings. "I want it to be slow… And I want us to light candles and sit in the tub together…. And carbonated, sweet engex. Nothing hard."

He chuckled. "Romantic, eh? I can do that. It will be a special date for us in celebration of me getting out of this hellhole. And we'll get a sparkling sitter for the Seekerlets. Just be me and my two sexy femmes." He winked.

Skywarp giggled. "Scree is the femme."

"Alright, my femme and my a bit-less-of-a-femme trinemeates."

I fluttered my wings. "I look forward to it. Just… promise you'll get out."

"I promise. They have nothing to keep me in here. We're Seekers. They have no right to interfere with cultural practices."

I slowly nodded. "I hope so."

He smiled. "Don't worry, Starscream. Everything will be alright."

Sadly, they weren't.

* * *

It was over an orn later when he _finally_ had his trial. The night before I made all the Seekerlets bathe, or shower, clean out their oil, put fresh paint on, and look their best. Skywarp and I showered ourselves after the younglings were done and tucked into berth. We were stressed, and needed something to take our processors off what would happen tomorrow. We fragged in the shower, we fragged out of it, and we fragged in the middle of the night when our stress kept making us online, and we fragged in the morning before getting out of berth. Skywarp penetrated me every time, but I didn't mind. I rather relax and offline my optics than do the work. He held me, kissed me, and made the best love to me. It did help some with the stress, but didn't cure it.

Skyfire came with us to the trial. It was nice since he could carry the younger Seekerlets in him. And Zephyr finally could transform fully so flew with us. Well, she did her best. I had to help hold her up and steady for most of it.

We did get an attorney, a flyer from Vos who was known for helping Seekers since so many wouldn't. He was nice, and I do like him. I would later recommend him to other Seekers, and use him for myself again. But, Vos was a little more accepting of Seekers since that was our home and we were the majority. In Iacon… Things were quite different.

"Your honor," Airlock said as the court proceeded. "My client is a Seeker. In Seeker society it is acceptable and normal behavior to frequently deliver physical discipline to submissives, or trinemates, that do not behave properly. To us, these punishments may seem 'over the top,' or even 'abusive,' but that is where I ask there to be consideration! Seekers are a warrior culture just as much as they are combat built. They are able to withstand a far more severe physical attack than most builts, so what may seem like a severe punishment to us actually isn't as bad to them. They do not feel pain in the same manner as non-combat builts because they have altered their pain receptors. Furthermore, due to it being cultural, my client has only ever seen this kind of behavior. His sire would punish his carrier in this same manner, as did his grandsire punish his submissives. Every trineleader does this. To punish my client for behaving the only way he knows how to behave is not only an attack on his culture, but also an attack on learned behavior, to which he himself is a victim of. If he is punished for his actions, that is punishing him for something he was never once told was wrong, so would never consider the law being upset with him. It would also be punishing him for who he is as a Seeker since this is the culture of Seekers."

Airlock kept explaining these things, and before long the other attorney took over. He called me to the stand first. I took Rogue with me, not wanting to put her down since she was being fussy. I was so scared when I sat at the witness stand, my wings drooping, looking over at Thundercracker.

"Seeker Starscream." The attorney addressed me. "What were some of the ways Seeker Thundercracker punished you?"

I swallowed. "H-he would use a metal cable on my aft, an energon tawse, energon whip, dominating, sometimes punching me… Chaining me… Metal switch…. A-and grounding me. N-nothing severe."

"And when he would use the cable or whip on you, what would happen? Did he chain you?"

"Sometimes…. But most of the time I would just lie over a berth or lean against a berth or over the arm of the couch… I-I'm trained to remain still during my punishments." I explained quietly, servos wringing.

"And how many times would he strike you each time he punished you?"

I bit my lower lip plate. "I-it depended on what I had done. Maybe it would be twenty… Maybe two hundred. He gave me what was necessary…"

"And would he ever punish you while you were carrying?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"And would he punish you in front of your creations?"

I nodded. "Y-yes…"

"No further questions for the victim, your honor."

I quickly made my way back to my seat once released, feeling coolant leaking down my cheekplates. I sat beside Skywarp and leaned against him, needing his comfort. My optics widened when Zephyr was called to the stand.

She walked up there with such pride… Holding a datapad, a smirk on her winsome visage, and no shame. She sat down, wings perked, and ready for all of this.

"Zephyr," The attorney spoke. "Have you ever seen your sire strike your carrier?"

"Yes, sir. I have seen it countless times for as long as I can recall." She replied firmly, no fear, no shame, nothing in her vocalizer, but confidence.

"What were some of the things you witnessed?"

"Sire would beat my carrier with a metal cable, an energy tawse, energy whip, or his own servo. I've seen him punch and even kick carrier, and seen him shouting at carrier in his face. And he did all of these same things to my uncle, Skywarp. I also have seen sire dominate both of them."

"And would you explain to the court what 'dominating' is?"

"Dominating is when a dominant Seeker, in this case a mech, penetrates a submissive's valve and humps them in a manner to cause as much pain as possible. There is biting, wing tearing, and even beating during the dominating that can last a breem or longer."

I tried to ignore the whispers around. I was getting more worried now.

"This was being done in front of sparklings, your honor." The attorney said.

"Sir," Zephyr spoke up. "I would also like the court to be aware that my sire would frequently rape my carrier and beat him when he denied him. He would also beat my carrier and uncle if they didn't so much as clean something right, or gave him a look he didn't like." She held up her datapad. "For the past ten stellar cycles I have been recording, writing down, and keeping track of every punishment done to my carrier and uncle. I was given a camera by a former teacher of mine when I told her what was happening at home, and since then all of my teachers have been helping me gather information, having cameras to film the abuse, and I have affidavits from all of my teachers, the neighbors who have seen and-or heard the abuse, as well as affidavits from my friends, my friends' creators, and professors at my carrier's academy who have seen the damage done to my carrier's frame." She paused. "I also have an affidavit from carrier's friend, Skyfire."

I felt something break inside of me. More coolant was leaking out of my optics, feeling betrayed by my own daughter and Skyfire. I wanted to run away and just scream, but… I needed to stay and find out what would happen to my beloved trineleader. I glanced over at him, seeing him sitting in that chair, servos manacled together, ankles chained, and an inhibitor claw on his back. I wanted to just run over, break the chains off him, and run away with him to frag in our apartment.

The judge was watching the videos of Thundercracker punishing me and Skywarp. The beatings, being yelled at, dominatings, being punched… So much of it was on there… All the affidavits of the teachers saying everything they heard Zephyr tell them. And not just her, but what the other four had told their teachers. They may not see it as abuse, but they still talked about it with their friends, teachers, and the creators of their friends. All of it were the same stories. And they all said how I and Skywarp would cry. And my suicide attempt… How I was chained… My drug addiction… The doctor's records on my suicide attempt and drug addiction were also included with all of Zephyr's evidence. And some of my professors had sneaked pictures of my abused body and been making reports. All the police reports from Skyfire, my professors, teachers… Everyone had been reporting my trineleader. Every knew what he did. All that evidence with the videos… There were cycles worth of videos. Of all the beatings, the dominatings, even… She even filmed several times of me denying him, being punished, then raped… And she filmed herself crying afterwards, cursing her sire.

Everything was just… She had it all. She had been planning his demise for so long. And all those people had helped her. At the time, I felt betrayed, but now, looking back at it… I am so proud of my little femmling.

It didn't tale long for the judge to come to a final decision.

"Seeker Thundercracker of Vos, I sentence you to ten stellar cycles in prison without bail." He banged his gavel. "Culture or not what you have done is absolutely disgusting. Inexcusable! And in front of sparklings… Get him out of my sight." The judge snapped.

I was a bawling mess, watching as security led my Thundercracker away. He didn't say anything, just hiding his emotions, keeping his wings high. He glanced at me and Skywarp, but they didn't let him speak, taking him out the backdoor of the courtroom.

I just cried, one arm holding Rogue as Skywarp held my free servo, leading me out of the courtroom with the Seekerlets. Skyfire was the last one, making sure we didn't lose any Seekerlet. Once we were out of the courthouse… I just sat on the steps crying. I soon found myself holding Skywarp, the both of us just bawling, scared and worried over Thundercracker as well as ourselves. The younger Seekerlets also cried, but Zephyr and Skyfire were smiling and congratulated each other. I just felt… hollow inside.

When we got home, I gave the Seekerlets cake and told them to do whatever they wanted. I went to Skywarp's room and cried with him, holding onto each other, feeling so alone in this world all of a sudden.

We didn't refuel at all for the rest of the orbital cycle, nor were we able to recharge. We just cried, and were terrified.

* * *

I online in Skywarp's arms that morning, having gotten a little bit of recharge. I just lied there, cuddled against him for over a joor before he onlined. We kissed, comforting each other best we could. Just holding each other, soft kisses, and pressing our brows against each other's. No words said for we didn't know what to say.

I did eventually get up and checked on the younglings. They were up and playing games, keeping active to forget their own stress. Zephyr was talking to Skyfire, the two so pleased. I ignored them to take care of the others.

It was that afternoon that the apartment communicator went off. I answered it, forcing my vocalizer to be strong.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Skywarp?" The mech vocalizer on the other end asked.

"Negative. This is Starscream. Do you require Skywarp?"

"No, you're listed as a second Conjunx Endura. I am the Primary Security Guard Captain for the Iacon Senate. I am calling about Seeker Thundercracker."

I swallowed. "W-what about him?"

"We learned he was arrested some time ago and yesterday was his sentencing. I am informing you, as his mate, that he has been discharged from the Senate Guard and will require to seek employment elsewhere when he is released."

I felt like someone shot me in the spark. Coolant started to pour out of my optics and my legs felt weak. "No… Please, sir, don't do this. W-we have sparklings. H-he's sire to six sparklings a-and he needs to be able to pay for them to go t-to school a-and for their fuel… Please, I-I don't have a job a-and neither does Thundercracker's other mate. W-we depend on him a-and his job as a security guard manager f-for everything. _Please_ , don't do this…"

"I'm sorry, Starscream, but we cannot have convicted criminals working as guards for Iacon's senate. He already was making people nervous by being a Seeker."

"B-but our c-creations…! We need t-to take care of them!"

"I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. I hope you find a job soon. We'll mail Thundercracker's things to you. Have a good orbital cycle."

And with that, he hung up.

I set down the communicator, covered my faceplates, and cried. Everything was crashing down…

* * *

"Dammit, this password…" I growled, working on getting by all the firewalls to hack into Thundercracker's bank account. "Why couldn't he just make it simple? Now I have to go though all of this…"

Skywarp stood over me, arms crossed as I sat at Thundercracker's desk, on his computer. "He's going to be pissed."

"We need the Shanix, Skywarp."

"Why not just call him for his password?"

"I _did_. The prison wouldn't let me speak to him. I'm almost done. World be easier if I had interface connectors…"

Skywarp snorted an immature snicker. I rolled my optics.

"Finally! In his account. Let's see…." I started to look through his payments, seeing his spending, how much he was making, everything. He had saving accounts for each of his sparklings, and one for everything else. I didn't want to mess with the ones for the Seekerlets, that was for them, so looked at the primary savings account. "25,447…. That's how much he has saved."

"Sounds like enough."

"It's not… Look, he's going to be in prison for ten stellar cycles. Rent is 600 each decacycle. That's 42,000. That's just for rent, Skywarp. We also need to pay for school, energon, utilities, addictives, and whatever else may come up. This isn't going to last us even half the time he's in jail."

"What about the savings in the sparkling's accounts?" Skywarp asked slowly.

"No, that's for their academy. I'm not taking that from them. This is what we have to work with, and what you and I have saved away for ourselves. I have about 7,000. You?"

"Um, I think it was almost 9,000 last I checked…"

"Okay, so that's an extra 16,000 to work with… Which still isn't enough. We need to get jobs."

"I'll get one."

"We _both_ need them. Thundercracker was making a lot. He's been at that job for a while, got a lot of promotions, and he was paying for everything just fine. Whatever jobs we get will be slag, and it will take us a while to work our way up because we only have high school degrees. I have some academy, but I can't get the job in my field, yet. I'm not done with my studies."

"We'll get good jobs. Maybe I can get a security job at the Senate now."

"There are other jobs than just security, you know?"

"Star, we're Seekers. No one wants us for anything else but to fight."

"I'm going to look elsewhere."

"You do that." He vented a sigh. "Better start on my resume."

"I'll help you. Let me just check his emails. Rent is probably due soon…"

Skywarp was silent a moment. "Do you think we may have to move to somewhere cheaper?"

"No, I'm not doing that to the sparklings. It's too much stress for them. We'll make this work. We will."

"You even know how to deal with all those finances?"

"I'll figure it out. He is very organized. Look, he has a list on everything he purchased and spent." I pointed to a datapad I was also looking at. "I'm going to study what he did and model my system off of it." I paused. "I'll also talk to Gearshift."

"Gearshift?"

"A friend of mine. He's a sire taking care of his own family and handling their finances. He'll help me."

"Want me to handle the finances? I'm dominant over you…"

"No offense, Warp, but I'm better with numbers and organizing than you. I'll take care of finances and you… Can take care of everything else."

Skywarp was silent a moment, but slowly nodded his helm. "Alright… So… The plan is to get jobs and…?"

"Get jobs, pay the bills, raise the sparklings, and see if there is anything we can do to get Thundercracker out of jail sooner."

"How are we going to do that?" He perked his wings.

"I am changing some classes around… There's some classes on law at my academy. I'm taking them as well as doing outside research. I'll figure something out."

"You can't solve everything with school, Star."

"No, you can solve anything with knowledge."

He gave a dry chuckle. "I'll keep that in mind next time I get in a fight with a tank."

"Ever thought that knowledge and technical skills could be applied to a combat situation to bring about a better result for the more physically challenged?" I looked back at him.

"Nah. If you're scrawny, you're going to lose. Gotta be big and tough to make it in this world."

I was silent, thinking about that. "What about the tale of a youngling who defeated a giant?"

"Just a tale." He shrugged."

I turned back to the computer. "Well, I beg to differ. I believe that the use of physics can cause even a 'brute' to fall to a youngling if applied properly. Such as when a-"

"BORING! You do that finance slag, Star. I'm gonna go figure out who's hiring." He gave a dismissive wave as he walked out.

I watched him go, then rolled my optics. Of course you could use physics or any small amount of mental capacity to defeat a larger opponent. There was more to fighting than just brawn, hence why you learn in servo to servo combat how to manipulate the enemy's body to make them suffer. Despite my small stature I could defeat someone like… like… Thundercracker by properly using science, weak points, and-and…..

My optics widened some. Why would I ever think I could defeat Thundercracker? I couldn't! I was so small and weak and-…. But I was proving how I could…? No, don't think about that. Finances first!

I swallowed, not wanting to ever think those thoughts again.

* * *

Gearshift helped a lot for the next orn as I figured out all the finances, bills, everything. He taught me how to do it all and always was there to give me tips and walk me through everything. Once I had the finances down and everything organized, I started to look for a job. It was not easy. Skywarp wasn't having any luck, and I was being a bit picky with my jobs. I wanted a grounder job. A job Seekers normally would never have. But, I wasn't having any luck…

"Careful, steady yourself." I flew just beneath Zephyr in my alt form, helping her learn how to fly.

"I got it. Just that wind current." She said as she steadied out her wings.

"Yeah, they can be tricky. Use your wing flaps. There you are." I pushed up against her undercarriage, helping her ascend some and steady out before gently easing off. "Want to learn how to aileron roll?"

"Only if you don't let me die!"

"I won't, seetspark. I'm flipping over." I did so, flying upside down, then pressing my undercarriage against hers. "Alright, so remember how I showed you how to make a hard bank?"

"Yeah?"

"Same concept. Just make your flaps go all the way and give a little bit of yank and-" I quickly did one, spinning her around with me until she was right side up again. "And you did it!"

"Primus, not ready for that!"

I chuckled. "You'll get it, sweetie. Remember, this is your home. The skies are where we truly belong. The ground we're vulnerable, clumsy, and ill-suited. Up here… miles above everyone else, just us, the air, clouds… This is our home. This is where we are strongest, fastest, where we are meant to live. And this is where so much of our lives take place. We trine in the skies, we make love in the skies, we dance in the skies… If you're ever in danger, you come here and you are safe."

"So, when are you teaching me aerial combat and dive bombing?"

"Soon. I'm just… Am very stressed."

"Looking for a job?"

"Yes…"

"You're good with science. Why not teach it?"

I flipped over and flew alongside of her. "I would love to, but you need a special masters for that…"

"Well, get one. And my friends need help. You could tutor."

"Which friends?"

"Like all of them could use some help with chemistry. It's hard. You help me a lot. Why not charge them a little for some tutoring? It's either you or some other person who may not be as good."

I thought about it for a moment before speaking. "Okay, let me call their creators."

* * *

I found myself outside Plumeria's house a couple of orbital cycles later with Rogue on one hip and my other servo holding a few datapads. I eagerly waited until the door opened and Tidewater let me in.

"Hey, Starscream!" She greeted with a smile. "Come on in! Plumeria is in the living room."

"Thank you, Tidewater." I said softly, becoming a little anxious about this, and just general being shy.

"No, thank you. We really appreciate you helping her. She's having such a hard time with it and I don't know enough to help her."

"I'll see if I can explain it easier to her." I adjusted Rogue on my hip and went to the living room, admiring the nice place they had. Much nicer than our home… "Hey, Plumeria." I smiled. "Ready to learn?"

"Not really…" She sighed.

"This will be fun. Promise." I said as I sat beside her and set my datapads down.

I started tutoring for Zephyr's other friends, and they told other people at the school and I had even more people needing a tutor for several kinds of sciences and even writing. I started to earn a good amount of Shanix. Nothing too spectacular, but enough to help pay rent and ensure my sparklings got something to refuel on.

Skywarp was still struggling for a solid job. He was getting s few odds and ends ones here and there, but nothing stable. He was stressing out about it, but I always did my best to calm him by reassuring him and, well, fragging him.

I really liked tutoring the younglings. It was fun, I enjoyed myself, and I just loved it. So, I changed some classes and started to get my masters to be able to teach at a public school. I already had a masters in some sciences, so once I finished the requirements to teach it I could get a job at a high school, and still go to school for my other masters, as well as learn more about law.

I hated myself and of course took a full course load in all the requirements in one semester. Yes, I was that insane. While I died doing that, I still tutored, I took care of my daughters, taught Zephyr aerial combat, made love to Skywarp every night and morning, us needing each other so much during this time, and when able to… I visited my trineleader in prison. Our first time seeing him from the trial took some time, them having to change things and other annoying paperwork stuff. But when I finally could see him, we took the entire trine.

I held Rogue against my chestplates, now a decacycle old, my free servo holding Tempest's servo. Skywarp held Skyblast's servo, while the eldest three followed behind. We went through security, it being ridiculous as before, but the guards fell in love with Rogue. She was shy and tried hiding against me, taking after me already.

We were escorted to a large room with tables and chairs. There were already families at several tables visiting prisoners. Some families had young sparklings, some everyone was an adult or had some adolescences. And some were just creators visiting a creation, which made me feel sad.

I sad at an empty tabled, placed Rogue on my lap, and waited. My family all sat down, and Skywarp sat beside me. He kissed me on the lip plates, then pressed his brow against mine.

"Doing alright?" He asked quietly.

"I'll manage." I said softly back.

We perked our wings when the door opened and Thundercracker was led out by two guards. He was wearing manacles and chains on his ankles, and one guard had a small shock stick in his servo, slightly hiding it, but I still noticed. It was because Thundercracker is a Seeker, so they were extra cautious with him.

Skywarp and I stood up, wings fluttering as we waited. The guards removed the manacles, but left the chains on his ankles. They chained his ankles to the table leg, which the table was permanently welded to the floor, and then left once he was secured. Once they were far enough away I gestured for the Seekerlets to see their sire.

"SIRE!:" They all shouted, running to him and leaping into his open arms. Well, minus Zephyr. She was playing something on her tablet.

"Hey, my sparklings." Thundercracker smiled, hugging his four middle creations close to him, his wings fluttering, kissing them on their cheekplates. "I love you all."

"We love you, sire!" Tempest exclaimed.

"We'll bust you out!" Skyblast proclaimed.

"Sire has to bust himself out." Thundercracker kissed Skyblast on the brow. "With my good behavior."

I stepped over, wings low, hugging Rogue. Thundercracker slowly stood straight up and held his arms out to me. I hugged him, wings fluttering, inhaling deeply into his chassis, smelling him, feeling safe in those powerful arms. He kissed me on the lip plates, and one of his servos gave my aft a squeeze. Our engines purred loudly, olfactory sensors nuzzling, wings fluttering, and cooling fans whirling to life as our desire built.

"Hey, there." He smiled at Rogue.

She just looked at him curiously as she chewed her digits. I kissed my trineleader before handing over his daughter, allowing him to hold her for the first time. He smiled as he took her, his wings fluttering.

"You make beautiful femmlings." He replied. "Right, Rogue? You're so adorable." He kissed her brow. His wings perked and he pulled Skywarp over into a hug, kissing him on the lip plates. "I missed you, too. Don't hang back."

"Sorry, just letting Scree get you first." Skywarp hugged him, his engine purring and wings fluttering. "We really miss you, Thunder."

"I know." He handed Rogue back to me so he could hold us both in a protective hug. "I'm sorry this happened… Slagging grounders…."

"It's not your fault…" I said quietly. "Y-you just punish us and I understand that… You'll be out after these slagging stellar cycles and then we… Just go back to how things were when they were good."

"Things will be much better when I get out. I promise." He kissed us both on the lip plates. "Because the first thing I'm doing once free is locking you two femmes in my berthroom and make you scream so loud you're heard in Vos." He smirked.

I faintly smiled. "I do miss making love to you… But I want it slow. I want it slow, and for you to kiss me gently, and hold me, and stab me in my primary sensory node. With candles all over the room, dim light, and no sparklings."

"It's a date." He kissed me again. "And you, Skywarp? What do you want?"

Skywarp thought for a moment, then sheepishly smiled. "I think I'll have the same, only… I kinda want to do something with that hot wax." He giggled.

Thundercracker rolled his optics. "You're so weird." He kissed him. "How is everyone holding up?"

"Somewhat…" I said slowly. "I'm tutoring adolescents in science to make some Shanix. I'm also taking classes to get a masters in education so that I can teach science in public school. That will help with finances. I also took over that part. Skywarp is getting some jobs here and there but… No one is hiring Seekers…."

"It's really hard." Skywarp drooped his wings. "They either kick me out once they see me, or offer some job that is humiliating and pays very little. I need something that pays enough for our bills, and I don't need to be mocked while doing it."

"Just keep trying. Iacon has a lot of banks, archives, and other locations that require security. Could also be a prison guard… These morons do nothing but sit around…" Thundercracker suggested.

"How about you, love?" I asked, looking up at him.

He forced a small smile. "I'm doing fine. Missing you guys a lot, but I'm surviving."

"You getting enough to eat? Recharging alright? No one is hurting you, right?"

"Everything is fine, my love."

I didn't believe him. He looked absolutely exhausted, his body showed signs of being hit, electrocuted, and shoved into things, and his wings… Prisons had, mostly, removed branding the ID numbers of prisoners onto them and instead would paint them, since branding hurt and was considered cruel. Some prisons still practiced it, and some, as I would later learn this prison did, would brand numbers onto the more hated inmates to set them up as a target. Usually, the branded ones would be targeted because they did something extra heinous, like rape a sparkling, so the guards wanted the other inmates to really go at them. But in Thundercracker's case it was because he was a Seeker. And, usually the numbers were put on the lower arms. He had them branded onto his sensitive wings.

It would be a while before I learned this, but apparently he was physically held down by five guards as a sixth branded his wings with the glowing white iron. It was so bad that circuitry under the plating where he was branded was singed and burned, requiring being replaced after he was later freed.

I wanted to cry when I saw how his wings had been damaged simply to torture him. I would cry again when he told me the story behind the branding.

"I love you." I said quietly, hugging him tightly.

"I love you, more." He kissed me. "And I love you, Skywarp." He kissed Skywarp.

"Do you need us to get you anything?" I asked.

"I'm doing alright."

"No, you're not. I'll get you energon goodies, a-and a blanket, a-and I'll bring you your tablet, and pictures of us, and-"

"Star, it's alright. I'm fine." He kissed me, but coolant started to leak out of my optics.

"Y-your not fine. Y-you're here i-in this awful place a-and not home w-with us. A-and we need you. Th-the Seekerlets n-need their sire, I-I need my trineleader, we n-need you a-and we're scared, a-and-"

He kissed me as he hugged me firmly. "I know you're scared, love. It's going to be alright. I promise." He kissed me again.

"Y-you were fired…" I whispered to him, beginning to sob harder now.

"I'll get another job." He said after a moment. His voice did change a little. I knew he liked his job, so losing it hurt. He had worked as a security manager for so long. Since before he met me. And he was so good at it.

"Carrier, don't cry…" Tempest said slowly, static filling her own optics.

"I'm sorry." I said quickly, wiping at my optics. "Carrier is just…. Upset about all of this."

"Things will work out. You'll see." Thundercracker nuzzled his olfactory sensor against my cheekplates, his engine purring to sooth me.

I nodded, but I didn't believe him. I just had to calm down for the little ones.

Thundercracker perked his wings as he looked over at Zephyr. "Hey, Z." He said softly. "How is school?"

She didn't even look at him, instead flipping a rude Vosian servo gesture at him as she kept messing with her tablet.

His engine ceased purring and he resumed kissing me and Skywarp. Trineleaders weren't suppose to show emotions, but he was beginning to weaken more and more, especially with how Zephyr treated him. It made me worry for him, and think more on the idea of trineleaders being perfect when I was seeing evidence otherwise.

* * *

About an orn passed after visiting Thundercracker. Skyfire was living with us fully now, no longer having a dorm. We needed the help, and he was now sharing some of the Shanix he made to help pay rent. He worked at the library on campus. Very peaceful job and useful because he knew where everything was. I kept studying, working on getting this new masters by the end of this semester so I could apply for a job at the local high school. Skywarp was still having trouble finding a solid job, but was making a little bit here and there with odds and ends jobs.

He was getting frustrated, I was getting stressed over everything under the sun, the Seekerlets were all upset… Things weren't getting better… We needed Thundercracker.

"So…" I said slowly, sitting at the table with Skywarp and the Seekerlets, having our evening fuel. "Any luck?"

Skywarp flicked his wings. "No." He growled.

I bit my lower lip plate, looking down at Rogue who was hungrily nursing, her tiny servos clutching onto my spark casing. I spoke again after a moment. "Need me to help with anything?"

"Why? Because I'm not smart enough to find a job on my own?" He snapped.

I lowered my wings. "I didn't mean it like that, Warp. I just… I-I want to help…"

"I don't need your help."

It hurt. I knew he was just frustrated with everything, but it hurt that he was taking it out on me. I watched Rogue finish refueling, then gently wiped her faceplates clean with a cloth.

"Don't worry about the finances, Warp. I-I'll be able to get a good job soon. We'll be okay."

"Because I can't get one? Is that why?" He flicked his wings. "And when you get it are you going to try and take over? Hmm? _I'm_ the dominant one!" He pointed to himself, wings flaring.

I shrunk back. "I-I wasn't saying that! I-I just-" I swallowed, coolant pooling in my optics, realizing I screwed up as usual. I was the worst trinemate ever. All I ever did was ruin everything for everyone.

"Just what? What else would you be saying?" He demanded. "That you think you outrank me all because you're tutoring some sparklings?"

"Please, Warp…. N-not in front of them…"

He flicked his wings, then stood up. "Fine, not in front of them." He teleported next to me, took Rogue and handed her to Storm, then grabbed me and teleported me to his room. He shoved me onto the berth hard, hurting me some. "Well? What else do you have to say?"

I shrunk back. "I-I am not questioning y-you being dominant over me!" I kept my wings low, looking down, showing every sign that I could that I was beneath him.

"I don't trust you in that. You were giving Thundercracker a _lot_ of attitude up till he got arrested. What's to keep you from acting like you're better than me if you get a job before I do? You already took over finances because you think you're better!"

"I-I didn't! I-I'm just good with numbers s-so-!"

"Do you need to be reminded who is dominant? Is having four sparklings while I only have two getting to you?"

I just was crying now. He was pissed, and I guess I had been acting like a brat. I probably deserved a beating and dominating. I had been a bad submissive towards Thundercracker during my entire carrying with Rogue. Then again, I always was a bad submissive.

"I'm sorry…" I choked out. "I'll submit." I then lied down on the berth, keeping my aft exposed, waiting to be punished.

Skywarp paused, knowing how much punishment sucked, but he had to make sure I knew who was dominant. He dug around in some of his drawers, getting into his growing collection of things for kinks. He grabbed an energy tawse and returned. I looked ahead, wings low, ready for my punishment. I winced when he started to lash my aft, but I didn't make a sound. It didn't hurt as much as when Thundercracker did it. But it still hurt…

He only gave me twenty lashes, though, then grabbed me and pulled me so I was leaning over the edge of the berth. I knew what was coming so removed my codpiece. I clawed at the berthtop when he roughly penetrated me, then began to thrust as hard and painfully as he could. He bit on my nape, tugging and tearing into it with his denta as his servos bent and twisted my wing tips.

I whimpered, coolant poured from my optics, I clutched onto the berthtop, but I didn't fight or do anything to stop the dominating. I had earned this. I needed to be reminded who was in charge. This was for my own good. It hurt, it was humiliating, but it had to be done. I had to learn this way.

He dominated me for less than a breem befor pulling out. I closed my plates and sat on the berth, looking down, wings low, being as obedient and submissive as I could. He kissed me on the lip plates, then hugged me.

"Behave." He half growled, half sympathized to me.

"Yes, sir…" I replied quietly.

"You're excused."

I slowly got up and walked out. I didn't want anyone to see me, so I went into Thundercracker's room and closed the door, since Skyfire was staying in my room. I cried as I lied on his berth, feeling like all I ever did was screw up, ruin everything, and just was the worst trinemate in the history of trinemates. I hated everything about me. Maybe… I should just shoot my miserable brain module out… Everyone would only be happy if I did… But, Skywarp needed help taking care of the Seekerlets… He couldn't do it alone… And my daughters needed me…

Maybe… Once Thundercracker returned… Maybe then it would be the right time to attempt suicide again… I didn't want to make Thundercracker go from one hellhole to another. He deserved better than me… Everyone did.

* * *

Well, I just kept my helm low and behaved. I got through my semester and got my masters in education. I was so excited! Rogue was almost a stellar cycle old and beginning to talk. Her first word was "science." I am so proud of her for that. I Got all my paperwork gathered and went off to the high school Zephyr attended. I wanted to teach at that one because my daughter attended it, but if it didn't work out I would go to another.

I got the job!

I was so scared during my interview, I thought I had messed up, but a couple of orbital cycles later the principal called me and told me I got the job and I couldn't help but squeal and jump with joy. I'm pretty sure everyone thought I had finally gone mad.

I loved it. I was so nervous my first orbital cycle, but I loved the students. I loved teaching them, I loved helping them, it was awesome. And it was more awesome when I got my first payment. I was worried at first that Zephyr would be embarrassed about me working at her school, but she actually liked it. She got to have her refuel time with me in my office, and we could just have some time alone together to talk and learn more about each other. I felt more comfortable telling her things about my life before she was around, I guess because my trinemates weren't there to overhear. I don't know, but I didn't like talking about my sparklinghood with them. Probably because I was a spoiled prince while they just got by with what they had. And Skywarp was, well, he had a complete horror story for a sparklinghood.

Rogue got to come to my work as well as my own classes. She loved all the attention from my students and my classmates. She definitely was more of a wiggler than my other daughters when they were her age. Rogue always had to be crawling off somewhere, getting into something, and sass me. But, when I gave her attention like she wanted she just was so sweet and huggy.

In my free time I read up on law and I was taking a couple of classes on it. I was really liking it. There was a math, a science to law and politics, and I was finding myself eagerly watching the news, reading up on politicians, and learning about all of that.

Despite Thundercracker being in prison and us only able to visit him once an orn, things weren't that bad. I had a job I enjoyed, I was still attending my own classes and getting good grades, my daughters and nephews were all healthy and doing well, I actually was not getting punished constantly, and I was talking to Gearshift whenever, wherever I wanted to. And Skyfire was such a huge help to us. Skywarp did eventually find a job as an armored vehicle guard. He just made sure no one robbed the bank vehicles as they transported Shanix. It was boring, but he was happier that he actually was making Shanix now. And he always put over half of his payments into the savings for his sons to ensure they would be attending an academy other than just the War Academy. The Shanix he had left over he split: Half for rent, the other half he split yet again sending some to his carrier and some to his sire. He never kept anything for himself.

I originally wasn't going to write about this, but Zephyr asked me to. I suppose since I hope to use my own story to help others, using her story would also benefit adolescents who find themselves in a situation similar to this one. I had a hard time writing about this, but Zephyr told me what to write and we comforted each other through it. So, with that being said, I'll get to it.

It had been coming up on three decacycles since I started working at Zephyr's high school. Zephyr was getting ready to leave her last class of the orbital cycle, Economics, when she found herself the last one. She scribbled down the last of her notes quickly before subspacing the datapad and standing up. She started for the door when her teacher spoke.

"Zephyr?" Crosscut said. "Could I have a word with you?"

Zephyr turned on a thruster heel and walked over, clacking loudly against the cold floor. "What's up?" Her wings perked.

"I heard that your sire was arrested. I just wanted to check on you to make sure everything was alright."

"Everything is fine. Things are better now. Sire wasn't very nice to my carrier and he needed to be arrested. My carrier is able to heal now."

"Your sire isn't nice? Were you close to him?"

She shook her helm. "No. I avoided him. I kinda do my own thing. Carrier is busy with his school and my siblings so we don't get a lot of time together. But it's fine."

"Do you ever get upset that you don't have a good relationship with your sire?"

"I mean… It sucks since like, all my friends have great sires, and I have an abusive frag for one…"

"Do you wish you had a new sire figure in your life?"

"I mean… I have my Uncle Skywarp, but he's kinda like a second carrier more than a sire to me…"

"Well, if you ever want to talk more, come see me." He smiled. "My door is always open."

She smiled. "Thanks, Crosscut. I better go now. My carrier gets worried."

"That's fine. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, seeya!" She waved and walked out.

Crosscut watched her leave, smirking.

Zephyr trotted to my classroom and hugged me. "Hey, carrier." She flutter her wings.

"Hey, daughter." I kissed her on the cheekplates, setting aside my datapads to give her a hug back. "How was your orbital cycle?"

"Fine. You?"

"Good." I fluttered my wings as I nuzzled olfactory sensors with her. "Ready to go home?"

"Mhmm!" She nodded.

"Alright. Let me pack up, young femme."

We soon left and flew home. Zephyr went off to her room and I locked myself with Skywarp in our currently shared room for some good ol' loving. I found myself beneath Skywarp, giggling and kissing him as he humped me, and tickled me. While we were having fun, Zephyr checked her email, her wings perking when she saw she got an email from her teacher, Crosscut. She opened it and read what it said.

"Hello, Zephyr. I thought I would checkup on you and make sure everything is alright. I know you said things were fine, but I imagine some things must still be in turmoil for you. I hope you and your family are doing well. Sincerely, Crosscut."

She didn't think anything of it, so replied back. "Hey, Crosscut. Thanks for checking in. Things are fine. Carrier is bonding right now and seems happy, and my siblings are all playing games. We're doing well. Everyone is happier. Carrier is mostly stressed about finances, but with his new job things are better in that. I think things are just going to move up from here on out. Seeker Zephyr."

It wasn't long before he replied back. "Glad everything is going well. What do you mean by bonding, may I ask?"

"Bonding is when trinemates interface to build their bond. It makes the trine stronger, happier, and carrier says it helps with stress."

"They interface with you knowing about it?"

"It's natural. Once you turn ten stellar cycles you learn all about it and then it's fine for you to see it. I don't mind them interfacing in front of me. It only really gets annoying when they are extra loud and I'm trying to do homework."

"Interesting. When you see them interface do you ever want it as well?"

"That seems kind of personal…"

"You said it's natural. Which, it is. Wanting to do it when seeing others do it is also natural. That's why porn exists."

"I guess that's true. Sometimes I do wonder what it must be like to interface. And I sometimes do feel kinda weird between my legs when they frag in front of me."

"What's keeping you from finding someone and interfacing right now?"

"Carrier says we have to remain pure until we find our trinemate. We lose our virginity when trining to ensure the bond is stronger, and to also keep our honor."

"Virginity is a made up concept. Think about it: What defines losing virginity? Is it when a spike enters a valve? When you overload? What about interface toys? Or getting a spike in another part of you such as the mouth? What about self service? What defines losing virginity? It's a made up concept to make younglings stay inline to their creators' strict rules. If you want to interface or find out what an overload feels like, then go for it. There's no harm in it."

Zephyr bit on her lower lip plate as she thought. "It's suppose to be your first time and special when you experience interface for the first time with your trinemates."

"But how long does it take to find a trinemate?"

"That depends… Stellars cycles or even vorns. That's what carrier has told me. He found his trinemates pretty young. Didn't take him long to trine them once they started courting him."

"What if you don't find yours so young? Do you really want to wait vorns to find out what interface feels like?"

"I guess not… I am pretty curious about it. It has to feel nice if carrier is always doing it and sire forced it on carrier all the time."

"Well, why not look for someone to interface with then? Or even self service?"

"I probably shouldn't…"

"What's the harm? If no one finds out they won't know you tried it. And as long as you don't spark bond you won't get sparked. No one will ever know."

"I guess so. But, it seems kind of scary having someone stick something inside of you and slam it in and out a lot…"

"Nah, it's not scary. You'd like it."

"Maybe…"

"You should touch yourself."

"I don't know…"

"Just try it."

"Maybe… later. Not now."

"Just watch some porn and do it. You'll like it."

"It would be weird seeing strangers frag each other…"

"Seeing your creators frag is weird."

"Not really…"

"Yes, really. Well, try it. Enjoy yourself. Have fun!"

"I'll think about it."

"Sounds good. I'll talk to you tomorrow then, Zephyr. Have fun tonight!"

"Yeah, talk to you tomorrow, Crosscut."

Zephyr logged out of her email and sat thinking in her room, not sure how to process what just transpired. It was a few joors later that I entered her room.

"Hey, sweetspark." I kissed her on the cheekplates. "Time for recharge. Got school tomorrow."

"Fine…" She groaned, getting up from her desk chair and lying on her berth.

I covered her with a couple of blankets and tucked her all in, the same way I had been tucking her in since she was a newly emerged. I fluttered my wings as I kissed her brow, adjusted her stuffed toys she recharged with still to make sure everyone was comfortable for the night, then turned off her desk lamp.

"Sweet dreams, my little warrior." I kissed her on the cheekplates, then started for the door.

"Carrier?"

I stopped, wings perking as I turned back around. "Yes, princess?"

She hesitated. "What does interface feel like?"

I wasn't expecting that. "What does interface feel like? Um, well," I reset my vocalizer. "Well, it feels… Special. Very special."

"Yeah, but how does it feel having a spike in you?"

I sat beside her on the berth. "Ooh, that's specific. Well… It feels like… It's very warm. Not too warm, but… warm like hugging someone. And you feel it pushing against the walls of your valve as it goes inside sending waves of… this pleasure into your systems. And as it brushes up against your outer sensory node… It's like this tingling feel you have that you can't get enough of. It's addictive. It sends these waves into your core that make you tremble, and just… You want more. And if your primary sensor node is hit… It feels almost as if the spike is getting you in the spark. It just fills you with this pleasure, and some pain, but good pain, and… Words don't describe it too well."

"So, a pressure that fills you up and gives you a lot of pleasure?" She perked her wings.

"Yeah, basically."

"And overloading?"

"Oh, that's a toughy… It… It hurts some too, but good pain. And it just… It's a raw energy boost that surges through your entire frame. Every piston, bolt, hydraulic, pipe, everything in your frame just is engulfed in this ecstasy of energy circulating through you, not having anywhere to go until it passes through your entire being. And you feel overheated, exhausted, happy, and you want more, and you feel complete, and just… satisfied. Like you accomplished something. Like you feel good about yourself… And you want more of that."

"Sounds like a lot…"

"It is… But it's a good lot. Why you ask?" I perked my wings as I looked down at her.

She shrugged. "Just curious."

"Well… I guess you would be… Coming closer to that time." I faintly smiled at her. "Growing up far too fast for my liking. Wish you would stay small forever." I kissed her brow.

She smiled back at me. "I don't want to stay small forever."

"I know you don't. I just hate the thought that one orbital cycle you won't be mine anymore. You'll belong to someone else. And I hope they cherish you forever. Or else I'll have to tear them apart."

"Don't worry, carrier. I'll never trine an aft."

"I know you won't. You're a smart, respectful femme." I fluttered my wings as I nuzzled her olfactory sensor with mine. "I love you. Recharge well, my little princess. Dream of destroying your enemies and hanging their helms on your wall."

"I will, carrier. Dream about tearing apart your enemies and delivering their helms to their families." She fluttered her wings.

"I most certainly will, my love." I kissed her on the cheekplates. "See you in the morning." I stood up and started for the door.

"Night, carrier. Love you."

I looked back. "Night, Zephyr. Love you more." I turned off the light and closed her door behind me. I walked away, not sure why she was so curious about interface, but, maybe she had always been wondering and just now got the courage to ask. I passed by the berthrooms to my other creations, already tucked in and recharging. I went into Skywarp's room, turned off the light, got in berth with my trinemate, and cuddled against him as he held me close.

I didn't think anymore about her questions, dismissing them as her just being a curious adolescent. I would dismiss other things I should have paid more attention to as well…

* * *

 **Okay, a couple of people asked me this so I'll leave it here for everyone else. Star's age, in comparison to human age, is at this point in the story he's about 20-21 years old. He trined when about 19. That should give you an idea of how young he is. He's still a baby! Can you imagine being 20 years old and having four kids, one of which is in high school? And then be going through everything he is? Skywarp is about 22-23, and Thundercracker is about 24-25. Skyfire is about 23. Fundamentalists, which the traditional Seekers kinda represent, make their daughters marry at 18 and start having babies and never get a job, and so you have very young people getting married, having babies, and never having their dreams come true or anything. It's awful. And then Skyfire is basically a normal person. Still living off his parents, going to college, working part-time, not even bothering with a relationship yet, and of course not responsible for anyone but himself. Skyfire is the normal person compared to these Seekers living a very hard life. But for the Seekers they are being normal since you trine young, then start having your babies right away. It's not an easy life, but it's the only one they're told to have.**

 **Thundercracker got a small sentence despite all he's done in reflection to what happens criminals in the real world. People get caught with marijuana and are in jail for 40 years, while rapists are in prison for 3 weeks. It's absolutely fucked up. So, even though Thundercracker has raped, horribly beaten, and abused Starscream and Skywarp he still gets basically nothing for a sentence.**

 **Skywarp if feeling threatened by Starscream, plus all his stress, so that's why he's being hard on Star and reasserting himself as dominant.**

 **The decision to have Zephyr have a pedophile go after her is because Seekers are sexually preyed on a lot because they are beautiful and the rumors they are great for interface. It's one of the reasons Seekers don't send their creations to public schools, and why they don't trust anyone. Seekers are raped quite often and never get justice.**

 **Crosscut is actually the name of an actual TF canon character who appeared in a single panel in the Marvel comics. His entire purpose was to die. That's it. The ONE panel he's in he's dying and he's never seen again ever in any TF continuity ever. So... Yeah. XD**

 **Crosscut is taking the opportunity of going after Zephyr now due to TC being in prison. One less parent around, the family is in turmoil, Zephyr probably isn't thinking straight, and the other parent won't be paying much attention. He's snatching this chance to get to his victim, twist her in his web, and bring her to him. And he's quite creepy as that Email exchange has given a glimpse of.**

 **And Seekers are very open about interface and everything so it's normal for Zephyr to just blurt out when her parents are doing it. To them, it's just what everyone does, there's no shame in it, and letting everyone watch you do it is good because it shows who belongs to whom. Seekers love their interface.**

 **Okay... I have no idea when the next chapter will be out... This college, man... Ugh... It's only going to get busier so these chapter updates may get further and further apart.**

 **Oh, and I got my first smartphone today. What is this shit? It moves when you touch the screen. It has terrible battery power. No slide out keyboard. It's so fucking weird. Wut I do wit dis shit? Halp.**


	17. You're a Femme Now

**Chapter 17**

Thundercracker sat at a table, his ankles chained to a leg of it as he waited. His wings perked when he saw us, then he stood up and crouched, holding out his arms.

"Da da!" Rogue exclaimed as she hobbled over, almost falling over a few times, but determined to make it to her sire all on her own.

"Hey, my femmling. That's it. You're almost to sire. A little bit more." He fluttered his wings, watching her near him.

She fell forward when she reached up to hug him, but he caught her and held her close against his broad chassis. He purred his engine, nuzzling his olfactory sensor against hers. He kissed her lovingly on her tiny cheekplates, his optics offline, savoring this moment with his youngest creation. He looked up, wings perking as the other four all ran over and began to hug their sire, nuzzle olfactory sensors with his, purr their engines, flutter their wings, and proclaim loudly their love for him.

"Sire! I'm signing up for sports!"

"Sire! Look I got 100% on my test!"

"Sire! I drew a picture of us!"

"Sire! I got a new toy!"

"Sire! I can flick my wings! See?!"

"Sire! My adult denta are coming in!"

"Sire! My thrusters activated for a nanosecond the other orbital cycle!"

"Sire! Sire! Sire! Look at me! Sire! Sire!"

"Sire! Hey! I'm taller now!"

"Sire! I got stickers!"

"Sire! I petted a dog!"

"Sire! Did you know that the sun is on fire!?"

"Sire! Look! Sire, I can whistle!"

"Sire!"

"SIRE!"

He wasn't mad or annoyed at all by all their shouting, shoving things in his face, or trying to show him everything in the world at once. He just smiled, wings fluttering, engine purring, and giving all his attention and love to his creations. He was missing out on their lives, and he was desperate to catch up on every single detail of it. These were his creations, and he just needed them there with him.

He finally stood up as the Seekerlets started to calm down, their initial excitement and presentations passing over now. I took the chance to press through the little wings and hug that large mech, kissing him hungrily, desperately on the lip plates. He held my chin, kissing me back, his other servo holding Rogue on his hip.

"Hey," He said barely louder than a whisper, smiling faintly at me.

"Hey," I said just as quietly back, pressing my faceplates into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply, smelling that scent that was unique to him. Needing to get as much of him as I could through every sense of mine.

"How is everything?" He asked before kissing me on my neck cables, his free arm holding me close around my waist.

"We're holding out, alright. My work is going well, Skywarp's work is fine also. He's there now. He's not entirely thrilled with it, but it's better than nothing." I paused. "Skyfire is helping us still. He's outside the prison. He helped me bring all of these little space monkeys to you."

"How are they behaving?"

"Well. They help me around the apartment, they are getting good grades, they never fight… There's some altercations here and there, but… siblings always have those. But, they're good. They're the best, Thundercracker. You put good sparklings in us. Thank you for that."

He smirked. "I could never put bad ones in you two. And even if I did you and 'Warp would fix them." He kissed me. "I miss you so much. Everything about you." His servo gave my aft a firm pat before squeezing it.

I giggled. "You're so horny."

"I asked about conjugal visits."

"Oh?" I perked my wings.

"They offer them. But only if I behave. So, I've been helping to clean up the place."

I fluttered my wings. "Let me know when to bring the sweet engex and leave the sparklings behind."

"I most certainly will, my love." He kissed me again, this time pushing his glossa into my mouth.

I fluttered my wings, opening my mouth wider to allow him easy access. He just mouthed me, kissing me passionately. I heard his cooling fans whirling to life, knowing he wanted more from me.

He reluctantly broke the kiss and pressed his brow against mine, silently savoring my presence. I purred my engine, my optics offline, not wanting to ever leave my trineleader.

"Where's our daughter?" He finally asked softly after a moment.

I bit my lower lip plate. "She stayed home. She has friends over."

"Does she ever talk about me?"

"Don't do this…"

"What does she say?"

I swallowed. "She says she's happy…"

He didn't speak for a moment, then he slowly nodded. "As long as she's happy."

"Thunder…"

"I'm her sire. I love her more than anything. I'll accept her decision as long as she's happy, safe, and finds her own trinemates."

"She doesn't hate you…"

"We both know she does."

"Thundercracker… She's an adolescent. It's just that rebellious time. We all went through it."

"She got me arrested and has told me numerous times to die."

"She just doesn't understand why some things must be done…"

"Starscream… I still love her despite her actions and malice towards me. She's my daughter and always will be. I'm just thankful she's alive, healthy, and safe."

"She's a smart, good femme. We did a good job with her minus… Her disagreements with you."

" _You_ did a good job." He kissed me on the lip plates. "Maybe after I get out we can make a fifth one together?" He faintly smiled. "If everything goes well."

I swallowed, not wanting another. At least, not so soon. Primus, why couldn't I just graduate first before having anymore sparklings forced into me? "I…" I paused. "I've been talking to the younglings and we want to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Could we get a pet? I think it would help all of us. A distraction from you being in jail and the stress it's causing, and just… Studies have shown that sparklings who grow up with pets are more responsible and empathetic, have less allergies, and stronger immunity. And pets help with stress which Warp and I have a lot of. And I miss all the pets we had in the palace. A lot of my siblings had one. Cybercats, cyberdogs, lilleths, zap mice, turbofoxes, dexi-squirrels, deatheagles, Guinea Pigatrons, Sonicondors…"

"I'll have to think about it… But no turbofoxes. Those are not easy to train. And no deatheagles… If we get a pet it either has to be a cybercat, cyberdog, or something smaller than that and easier to manage."

"I'll start looking at the local rescues and see who they have available for adoption, then." I smirked. "I'm going to help you think by showing you pictures of homeless puppies and kittens."

"You do that, love." He kissed me again. "When you go home… Give Zephyr a hug and kiss for me. And tell her that I miss and love her."

I swallowed. "I will, sir." I paused, not wanting to cry, so upset by him being in jail, Zephyr hating him, and just everything. "I love you. I love you more than anything. I-I'm not mad at you…"

He kissed me silent, holding me close in his powerful arms, getting as much love in as possible before we were forced apart once more.

* * *

Zephyr was at home with her friends, Skywarp at work and I still visiting Thundercracker with the other Seekerlets.

"I can't believe Rage got detention for kissing Pearl in class. That's ridiculous." Plumeria said as they all sat on the couch and berth in Zephyr's room.

"Everyone is so strict." Floret grunted.

"Speaking of kissing, did you guys hear about Sunlight?" Halo asked.

"No, what?" Plumeria inquired.

"She lost her virginity!"

"What?! With who!?" Floret demanded.

"Slugslinger! They did it at his house."

"No way." Plumeria gasped.

"Yes, way!" Halo exclaimed.

Zephyr perked her wings. "Why did they frag? They're not even trined-err… mated yet."

The other femmes turned to her.

"You don't need to be joined to someone to frag 'em." Halo explained.

"Yeah, but you should still wait." Plumeria added.

"Nah, just frag if ya want to." Halo continued. "As long as you make sure you don't get sparked it's fine. I've been thinking about losing my virginity soon." She smirked.

"You better not." Plumeria said strictly. "You'd get in so much trouble."

"What no one knows won't hurt them."

"But… You'll bring dishonor on yourself and your family." Zephyr said slowly, her wings lowering.

"Dishonor? Femme, this isn't a hundred vorns ago! All that honor, dishonor rubbish is just that. Designed to keep people in the system."

"What system?" Zephyr perked her wings.

"The system of rules old mechs made up to control people. Like… Your sire beats your carrier because of the system he's in! Them telling you that you only have 'honor' if you don't have interface is also part of the system!"

Zephyr lowered her wings again. "My carrier said that preserving yourself and remaining clean ensures that your bond with your trine is stronger and more intimate."

"If that's true why does your sire abuse your carrier?"

Zephyr didn't say anything, feeling uncertain all of a sudden. If her sire was wrong about punishment and how to handle his trine, then perhaps her carrier, who believed punishment was necessary, was also wrong about other things.

"To be honest with you guys, I touch myself at night." Halo continued. "It's awesome."

"What's it like?" Zephyr asked quietly.

"Do it yourself and find out." Halo smiled.

"I don't know…"

"Come on, Zephyr. Have some fun. You're so stiff all the time. Stop being an army brat and be a regular adolescent for once."

"Overloading does help relieve stress as studies show." Floret put in.

"And you are really stressed out." Halo smirked.

"Maybe… Someone else told me to self service." Zephyr said slowly.

"Then do it, femme!"

Zephyr bit her lower lip plate as she thought. "I guess I could… I am curious what overloading must feel like…"

"It's awesome." Halo smiled. "Just keep a towel with you."

"Okay… I-I'll see…"

* * *

"You, my room, now." Skywarp snapped at me.

"Now-now?" I perked my wings, sitting on the couch doing homework on a datapad, and Rogue nursing as she sat on my lap.

"Well… When Rogue is done. Then my room." Skywarp replied.

"Humpy time?" I smirked up at him.

He giggled. "Humpy time." He then leaned over the back of the couch to kiss me on the lip plates. "You're so damn sexy, my little prince."

"I am, aren't I?" I fluttered my wings.

"I'm going to destroy you." Skywarp whispered into my audio receptor.

"Not too much. I have work and night classes tomorrow."

"Fine… I'll reassemble you once I'm done." He kissed me again.

"Guys, not when there's sparklings around." Skyfire reminded us, sitting beside me as he did his own homework.

Zephyr sat on the other couch, wings perking as she listened. She bit her lower lip plate, but kept her optics on her tablet, messaging her friends. Hearing Warp and I talk about interface and our obvious building lust was making her more curious about the act.

Rogue loudly smacked her lip plates when she finished refueling, and pushed the feeding tube back into my chest. I folded my chesplates back over, wiped her faceplates clean with a cloth, then handed her over to Skyfire.

"Make sure she doesn't destroy the universe." I instructed before leaping over the back of the couch and following Skywarp up the stairs.

"Don't worry, she won't be conquering worlds yet." Skyfire reassured me before I left. He then bounced Rogue on a knee, eliciting delighted squeals from her.

Zephyr kept messing with her tablet a bit longer, ignoring Skyfire as he worked, and her siblings playing. Finally, she stood up and went upstairs. She subspaced her tablet and stood outside Skywarp's room. She exhaled heavily before palming the door open and entering.

"Ohhh, ohhh, hah, yes… Ohhh, oh, oh, ah… More… Oh, harder, more,,, yes! Ohhh!" I moaned loudly as I lied on the berth, my legs wrapped around Skywarp's hips as he stood, thrusting into me. One servo held my hip as the other was planted on the berthtop beside my helm, supporting him as he leaned over me. My servos rested above my helm, wrists crossed as they were chained together. "Oh, Primus… Oh… I love you… Hah… Yes! Ohh, hah… Skywarp… Oh… Yes! Mmmmm!"

Skywarp smiled over me. "You never can shut up." He kissed me on the lip plates. "Keep moaning, slut. You're all mine. My beautiful trinemate." He paused to pant in my faceplates a couple of time. "Mine. Till the bitter end."

I fluttered my wings, smiling as I panted between moans. "Till the bitter end."

"Maybe I should blindfold you? Leave you even more vulnerable to me, prince."

"Go for it. But I, oh… I get extra kissies."

"All the kissies." He kissed me, then reached for the kink pile - which is what we call the pile of items used for kinky stuff that we throw on the berth before getting to business - when he noticed Zephyr standing there watching us. He ceased his humping and perked his wings. "Oh, didn't know you were there, Z. Need something?"

I perked my wings and looked over. "What's wrong, sweetie? Need carrier for anything?" I asked as only a carrier would with concern and ready to help move the entire planet for my precious, perfect creations.

Zephyr swallowed. "It's nothing. Go ahead and finish up. It can wait until you're done. Just… homework question. I'll… Just wait here on the couch." She said before sitting on Skywarp's couch.

We didn't think anything of it. Nothing odd about your creation seeing you frag once they knew what fragging was. After all, Seekers interface in public all the time for claiming, trining, and general bonding. It was natural, how you showed who belonged to whom, and trines bonded in public to build a stronger relationship. So, an adolescent Seeker in the room that their creators, uncles, or whoever was interfacing in was normal, natural, and just a common occurrence. Every Seeker grows up seeing their creators, friends, and other family members interface. What's the point of hiding something natural and what they will soon be doing with their own trinemates?

"Okay, princess. We won't be much longer." I smiled at her before relaxing again for Skywarp to resume doing whatever he pleased to do.

My trinemate grabbed a blindfold, put it on me, and began his thrusting once more. I moaned loudly, writhing beneath him, demanding more of him. He pounded fiercely into me, bit my neck cables between licking them, and kissed me on the lip plates. I just hugged him best I could with my tied servos, only able to concentrate on what I was feeling with my optics covered.

Zephyr sat there, watching us, her red optics lowering to study how Skywarp's spike slid in and out of my valve, seeing how our transfluid dripped and smeared over our intimacy. She crossed her legs, feeling the tingling sensation of energon rushing to her valve, feeling it warm down there. Her curiosity growing, feeling her valve suddenly wanting a spike in it.

I also just want to point out writing about my daughter's lust and sexual desires made me feel dirty. But _she_ pushed me to write it in detail! I love my daughter, but platonically. This was extremely awkward. I already feel kind of weird telling everyone about my interface life in as much detail as I am. I'm not embarrassed, no, just… It's weird.

Anyway, don't think I'm perverted all over my daughter. I'm not. I even had her write some stuff for this part of the story and simply edited it to be more of my writing style. I can assure you that after I finished writing all of this I did feel a bit uncomfortable around Zephyr for a while. But, we're passed that now and I had to go back and add this note after writing this chapter just to clarify things. Back to the story.

Ahem, so, Zephyr watched us, her wings perking when we finally overloaded. I purred my engine, wings fluttering as Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates, panting heavily. He then removed the blindfold, manacles, and pulled out of me. I sat up, closed my plates, gave a flick of my wings to rid them of excess energy, then walked over to my daughter. I sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and hugging her close. My cooling fans were still whirling loudly, and my frame was warm.

"What do you need help on, princess?" I asked with a smile.

"Um… I better go get my homework." She replied quickly.

"I'll come with you." I stood up and helped her up as well. I then kissed Skywarp on the lip plates before leaving with her to work on her school.

She didn't say much as we worked on her math homework. I didn't think much of it.

* * *

That night, Zephyr lied in her berth, thinking about what Crosscut had said to her several times now after class and in Emails. He had kept pushing her to self service, and after what her friends told her and really watching me and Warp earlier…

She swallowed, having locked the door and turned on some soft music to drown out other noises. Everyone else was in recharge, no one would know.

She removed her codpiece, then her valve cover. Slowly, nervously, she reached down and touched her primary outer sensory node, hesitating. She pressed on it, feeling it give a little needy tingle, wanting more. She pressed some more, then gave it a circular rub. It sent a demanding wave in the area, wanting even more done. She bit her lower lip plate, parting her legs a bit more. She started to rub more, a little harder, feeling the sensation building, the need.

She was scared, but she had to find out what this felt like. She wanted to know. She kept going, it feeling nicer and… she couldn't stop. It just wanted more. She had to give more. Her mouth opened as she panted softly, feeling herself warm up. Then, she gave a little moan that surprised her. She bit down, not wanting to make anymore noises as she continued with her forbidden action.

Her peds scraped against the bethtop as she bent her knees, squirming a little at this new, exhilarating feeling coursing through her system. She panted harder, rubbed harder, and clenched her jaws to keep from moaning too loud.

Finally, she came. She yelped when she felt that raw energy surging through her systems, causing her to jump and jerk her servo away from her intimacy. She quickly covered her mouth and folded her codpiece over, scared that someone had heard her. She lied in the silence and darkness of her room, only hearing the soft music and her own intakes. After a bit she relaxed, knowing no one heard.

She fixed her blanket back over her frame, then smiled, having liked that feeling. She thought for a moment, then opened her codpiece again, ready for a second round.

* * *

"And I will see you all tomorrow." Crosscut waved his students farewell.

Zephyr subspaced her things as the other students filed out of the classroom. She waited until everyone else was gone before approaching Crosscut.

"Hey," She greeted, wings perking.

"Hey." He smiled at her. "So… Touched yourself yet?"

She sheepishly smiled. "I did… Last night I self serviced twice."

Crosscut smiled. "And?"

She nodded as she grinned. "I liked it. It's nice."

"Not as nice as having a spike in you. That's what you should explore next."

"That's a big step. I still… Feel like it's wrong for me to have interface before trining."

"Virginity isn't real. Just a concept to control younglings. Have fun, Zephyr. Get a mech. Go crazy. No one cares."

"Carrier cares."

"He's getting laid, too. He won't care if his daughter gets her own needs fulfilled." He gave a dismissive wave.

"He's also trined…"

"You really think he never touched himself before trining? Or your sire? No one is a 'pure' virgin. Everyone has had sexual 'imperfections' before finding their mate. It's all part of life."

"I guess so… But, if I did want to take it to the next step who would I ask?"

"Well, who do you trust?"

"I don't know… I'm only close friends with femmes. I know mechs but like… Not super close."

"They don't have to be your age. You can have fun with an adult. You're basically an adult now."

"That just sounds… Weird."

"It's not weird. There's a lot of people who join someone vorns older than them. Just how our species is. Age does not matter at all."

"I just am not ready yet for a mechfriend or anything…"

"One night stand. Frag 'em and you don't have to see them again if you don't want to."

"Sounds kind of… I don't know… Empty."

"It's not."

"I still don't feel comfortable about it."

"You don't want to learn what it feels like to have a spike in you?" Crosscut raised an optical ridge.

"I mean, I do, I just… I don't know."

"Well… think about it. What's more important? Finding out how awesome and wonderful real interface feels like and actually being an adult, or not finding out for maybe vorns if ever?"

She hesitated. "I do really want to know…"

"When you're ready to find out, let me know. I'll help you find the one to give you that feeling." He smiled.

Zephyr faintly smiled back. "Thanks… I better go. My carrier is waiting for me."

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow, Zephyr." He smiled warmly as he waved her off.

"Yeah, seeya!" She trotted out of the classroom and down the hallway to where I was.

Crosscut just smiled as he resumed looking at the datapad he held. He was getting closer to his sick goal.

* * *

I walked down the hallway with Skywarp, holding his servo, a little nervous and excited about what we were going to do. The guards had checked us for weapons, searched our subspace pockets, made us open up compartments, and even made sure we had nothing in our valves. Very strict compared to the already thorough inspection we had to submit to for a regular visit.

We were led to a door, and a guard unlocked it for us. A long hallway awaited before us.

"If he tries to hurt you just run down this hallway. He won't be able to follow you. If you're unable to get away from him, press the button on this remote. Keep it in your subspace so he can't take it." A guard instructed as he handed us each a remote. "Remember, no spark bonding. If you do the sensors in the room will go off and the visit will be brought to an immediate end."

We both nodded as we subspaced the remotes.

"Don't worry. We're not getting sparked until _after_ he comes out." Skywarp replied.

"Go enjoy yourselves."

Skywarp led me into the hallway and the door was locked behind us. It wasn't a long hallway, and we soon found ourselves in a decently sized room with two berths in either corner, a table that was welded to the floor against another wall, lots of cushions, the lights were dimmed, with mock candles around, and towels folded on a shelf. But, the best thing in the room was the large, blue Seeker sitting on one of the berths, his ankles chained to a metal ring on the wall, ensuring that he couldn't chase us if we felt the need to escape him.

"Thunder!" We both shouted as we ran over and leaped into his arms, wings fluttering as our engines purred.

"Hey, my loves." He smiled, kissing us as he held us close. "I miss you two so much."

"We miss you more." I replied, clinging to him.

"So much!" Skywarp proclaimed.

"We don't have all orbital cycle." Thundercracker kissed us again. "Who wants to go first?"

"ME!" We both shouted at once, bouncing excitedly.

"Shhhh, calm down, my loves." He kissed us again. "I only have one spike."

"Do Scree first." Skywarp suddenly blurted out. "He needs you the most."

"I can wait." I replied, wings perking as I looked at him.

"No, it's okay. You go first."

Thundercracker kissed Skywarp. "You're a good trinemate. You both are." He turned to me. "Position?"

I sheepishly smiled. "Missionary. I want lots of kisses and to be hugged."

He smirked. "As you wish. Hop up." He patted the berth beside him.

I got onto it, lied on my back, and got in the familiar position. He was soon over me, kissing me on the lip plates, those powerful servos groping me, claiming my body as theirs once more. I belonged to him. I was his. And he could do whatever he pleased with his property.

I folded away my codpiece, my optics locked on his as he adjusted my legs onto his hips. He was eager, not having had any interface since before being thrown in jail. He quickly entered me, a servo grasping my neck to pin me down as the other rested in the berth beside my helm. And, Primus, did he start to pound into me. Hard and fast at the get-go. He needed to satiate that lust that had been burning in him for decacycles. I winced, not expecting him to be that bad, but, he was suffering alone in prison, so I would grin and bear it. Let him get his need met. And once he overloaded surely he would be better as he kept going. Besides… I didn't want him to get mad at me and have to punish me. It had been a while since I was last punished, especially by him, and I knew I was due for a major one. I just didn't want it to be today.

I whimpered as I clutched the wrist of the servo holding my neck. Those bright, red optics before me, feeling suddenly scared, small, and weak beneath them. His growling grunts, his heavy exhales, his powerful grip on me, and the painful thrusts… All reminding me that I was pathetically outmatched by him, hopeless to ever even consider beating him in a conflict. He owned me. I was his property. I was entirely his to do whatever he wanted to do to me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. No one would help me, no one could fight him, and I certainly couldn't. I was the weak, quiet, and scared submissive and always would be. Always.

Coolant started to leak from my optics, and I was soon softly sobbing from the pain. He was too blinded by his lust to notice. He kept going, only getting harder and faster, his wings flaring and flicking from stimulation, and his frame warming up quickly. He bit my neck cables, kissed me harshly on the lip plates, and enjoyed me to his fullest.

Finally, thankfully, he overloaded, growling and flicking his wings from the sensation. I moaned, but didn't overloaded myself. I remained silent, panting, scared, patiently his.

"I love you." He smiled before kissing me. "Mine."

I faintly smiled, loving him all over again. The pain wasn't intentional. Of course not! He was just excited, and he needed to satisfy himself. He loved me, and I loved him. And it would always be that way.

I bit my lip plate when he pulled out, then sat up. I watched as he grabbed Skywarp, slammed him down onto the berth, and very quickly began to interface him. I scooted in the corner, my valve hurting, and some stray coolant tears trailed down my cheekplates. I quickly wiped them away, not wanting to be told I was being a sparkling again. I watched them, Skywarp wincing as well from Thundercracker's brutal humping. I hugged my knees, hoping that when he took me again he would be gentle. I just wanted it slow and to be kissed. I was simple like that.

He took me five more times. I only overloaded four times in all. He was rough for the next two times, but calmed down and I could enjoy the last three somewhat. Skywarp got the same attention.

After he had satisfied himself with us, we just cuddled, talked, kissed, and stayed close to each other as he held us. Our time soon ended and we were forced to leave our trineleader. I found myself crying when we said our farewells, then walked away. It would be a while before we could have another conjugal visit, but at least we could have our regular family visits once an orn.

* * *

I walked into my room later that night, wings perking when seeing Skyfire.

"Hey," I greeted, grabbing a datapad from the shelf.

"Hey." He smiled, sitting on my berth as he did homework. "How are you?"

"Meh. Surviving."

Skyfire sat up, hesitated, then stood. He approached me and hugged me from behind. I fluttered my wings.

"What's up, big guy?" I giggled, looking up at him.

He sheepishly smiled, then kissed me on the lip plates.

I honestly didn't expect that. My wings lowered, suddenly feeling nervous. I felt the collar around my neck, remembered that awful pain, and my only way to escape was poison.

"I love you." He whispered, then trailed kisses down my neck cables, along my shoulder, then my wing. "I love you so much, Starscream."

I bit my lip plate, knowing what he wanted, what he lusted for. I felt myself turning on, wanting it, too.

"I… can't." I said barely louder than a whisper.

"Hmm?" He hugged me closer, and I felt him pressing his codpiece against my aft.

"I can't interface with you, Skyfire. I'm… I'm mated already. My spark already has been claimed to two others. I… I can't break my vows again…"

"Thundercracker is in prison. You need to leave him. Move on, Starscream. It's time to be with the person who'll treat you properly."

I swallowed. "I… can't, Sky. I'm his. I'm trined and I must stay loyal to my trine. I've brought enough dishonor to them with my actions in the past with you. I can't do that again."

"They've hurt you."

"I belong to them."

"Star…"

I turned to look at him. "I do love interfacing with you. But…" I vented a sigh. "Unless they both were to accept you as part of the trine, we can't be together like that. We're just friends."

I could tell he was hurt, but I had to stay loyal. Especially now with my trineleader in prison and raising four daughters that he gave me. My trine came first.

My wings lowered when seeing his disappointed expression. I kissed him on the cheekplates, hesitated, then whispered in his audio receptor. "I do really love interfacing with you. I would love to be more than friends." I paused. "Love you, Skyfire. More than just platonic."

And with that said I turned and walked out of my room to go to Skywarp's. Skyfire watched me leave, well, he watched my aft leave. He vented a sigh, but faintly smiled. I still loved him, and he just needed to figure out how to get me away from Thundercracker and make me his.

* * *

A few orbital cycles later, Zephyr was getting ready to leave her class. The other students all ran out, and just as she was about to walk through the door Crosscut spoke.

"Zephyr, come here."

Zephyr perked her wings, then turned around and approached his desk. "Yes, Crosscut?"

"I know things must still be tough at your home with your sire in prison still. I was wondering if you would want to come to my place sometime and talk about things. It's therapeutic to talk to someone outside the family about family issues."

She lowered her wings some. "I don't know… Carrier is pretty strict about where I can go…"

"Just tell him you're hanging out with your friends. You're not lying. I'm your friend, right?" He smiled.

"I guess so… Just that… I don't want to worry him or… Anything."

"It'll just be a joor or so. Come in, talk, relax, and then go home. Therapy sessions are short, and you do them often, and that helps you. I'm not a therapist, but I can still offer you an audio receptor and some advice. I've been through things, and I've helped former students of mine who have also had sire issues. I can most certainly help you."

"Maybe… I'll have to think about it."

"I'll shoot you an Email." He just kept smiling.

She faintly smiled back. "Okay, thanks."

"Anytime, dear. And by the way, you look very beautiful this orbital cycle."

Zephyr just sheepishly smiled. "Thanks." She said softly before quickly walking out.

Crosscut kept his smile.

* * *

I leaned over the tub, gently scrubbing Rogue's wings cleaned as she played with toys in the water. Alone with my youngest, in the silence, my processor was allowed to wander. Trying to attend a few classes, working full-time, caring for my daughters, stressing over finances and my trineleader, and just… I was barely holding myself together. I was having more breakdowns than usual, and I was just so sick and tired of all of this. I was considering dropping out of school, but I loved it so much… And I just wanted my dream to come true. All I wanted was to be a scientist. I just want to help my people and others by discovering things, creating new technology, advancing our species… Just help everyone. Maybe find a cure to a deadly virus. Something than living my life as a sparkling factory for my trineleader when he wasn't busy whipping me.

I wiped at my optics, beginning to have yet another break down. None of this was fair. Everything sucked. I don't even know why I kept going. Maybe I should stop being a coward and just shoot myself already.

"Cuhreeor." Rogue smiled up at me, suds covering her tiny body. "Ah wuv yu!" She held up her arms to me for a hug.

I remembered why I hadn't attempted suicide again. I had daughters who needed their carrier. Their sire wasn't here to protect them. I had to. And I would do just that.

"I love you, too, princess." I reset my optics calming myself down. "L-let carrier finish cleaning you first. Then we can hug." I resumed scrubbing those delicate wings, then other parts of her little frame. I paused, then cleaned over her codpiece, biting my glossa as I did. I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong. I had to clean my daughter until she could do it herself. But.. I just thought about how Brakelight had touched me. I was so tiny, and him so large. It felt almost like our roles were reversed. Like I was preying on my innocent daughter.

I hated those thoughts. I tried pushing them away, but I only saw his smile, I heard his moans, I… I felt him in me, holding me, unable to scream, to escape. I felt dirty. I was a filthy, dishonorable slut.

I quickly finished cleaning her codpiece, her thighs, and her little aft, and happily moved on to other parts of her frame. I went through this same nightmare every single time I had bathed all of my daughters. I hated it. But, it never failed to tear at me each time.

I cleaned her faceplates, pausing to study them. She looked the most like her sire out of all our daughters. I poured water over her helm, removing suds, faintly smiling when she giggled. I love it when my daughters smile and laugh. I felt warm inside. I felt like I was doing something right. Primus, all I needed were my little femmlings in my life. I love them so fragging much, words just can't begin to describe it.

I startled when arms wrapped around me and I was hugged by someone from behind. I heard a familiar engine purring, then felt someone nuzzle my neck cables.

"Hey, carrier." My eldest greeted softly. "Love you."

I forced a small smile. "Love you more, princess." I patted her arms as they held me. "What's up?"

"Just wanted to check on you, remind you that you're the best carrier in the entire universe, and tell you I love you more than anything in this world."

I wanted to cry again, hearing how much she loved me despite my flaws, how I always was screwing up, and that I was just the worst trinemate in the history of worst trinemates. I nodded instead, resetting my optics.

"Love you more." I managed to say softly.

She kissed my cheekplates. "I also wanted to just let you know I'm visiting a friend's house tomorrow after school. Doing homework. Boring slag." She fluttered her wings as she hugged me tighter.

She was visiting her friends so much at this time I honestly didn't think anything of it. So what if she went to Plumeria's or Floret's house?. She practically lived with all her friends at this time, and they practically lived at our home. Storm and Dawn were also having friends over constantly and hanging out at friends' houses. I just wanted my daughters and nephews to have fun, be happy, and have the friends they needed to get through the struggle of every orbital cycle living. So, I just nodded my helm as always.

"Okay, don't be out too late."

"I won't." She gave me another squeeze. "Love you, carrier."

"Love you more, princess."

"Need help with anything?"

"No, I'm good." I put on that fake smile as I always did to not worry the Seekerlets.

"Alright. I'm going to do homework than play videogames. Talk to you later, carrier!" She kissed my cheekplates before skipping out of the washroom.

I perked my wings as I watched her leave, then lowered them again when I turned back to Rogue. "Well… Us alone again, princess. How about we-" I felt my spark drop when I realized she had opened her waste tank and emptied the contents into the bathwater and got I all over herself. She giggled, so proud of herself as she slapped the water, splattering the contaminated liquid all over the walls, floor, and myself.

"Why do you hate me?" I questioned quietly, looking up at the ceiling.

"Cuhreeor! I made a oopsy!" Rogue proclaimed, smiling so proudly.

I started crying, so tired of all of this. The stress and everything building up. I just cried as I pulled her out of the tub and took her to have a shower with me instead.

* * *

Zephyr transformed and landed outside of Crosscut's apartment. She knocked, and he soon opened the door, smiling broadly.

"Hello, Zephyr. Glad you could make it. Come on in!" He gestured for her to enter.

"Hey, Crosscut." She smiled as she entered. "Nice place you got." She perked her wings as she looked around.

"Yes, my happy bachelor pad. Come, sit down. I got some energon goodies for you." He gestured to the couch.

Zephyr sat on it, looking around still, her wings hiked. "Kinda weird being in a place that isn't made for a family, or has sparkling proofing."

"It's nice living alone. Although, it can get lonely sometimes." He sat beside her and handed her a bowl of goodies.

"I'd imagine living alone would only bring benefits."

"Well, for the most part, yes, but I get lonely not having someone to talk to… And of course when I feel in the mood I have no one to make love to."

She perked her wings. "Servo not enough?"

"It doesn't compare to having a partner. Do you ever feel completely satiated after you self service?" He looked at her.

"Well… It does feel really nice but I still feel like I need more…"

"You need a spike in you."

"I do… But I need to wait."

"You don't need to wait. You're an adult now. Go for it."

She bit her lower lip plate as she thought. "But who would I even ask?"

"Well," He pretended to think. "Maybe we could make a deal?"

"A deal?" She perked her wings.

"I'm lonely and missing a partner, and you need to get some enjoyment. Why not help each other?"

"I… I don't know…" She looked away, wings lowering again.

"Don't you want to know what it feels like? Why your carrier loves it so much?" He smiled.

"I… do…"

"Then let's go. You want any engex to drink?"

"But, I'm not old enough for engex…"

"You're fine. A little won't hurt you." He gave a dismissive wave.

"Maybe…"

"Here." He handed her a cube he had on the small table by the couch, having prepared his entire routine. "Drink up."

She took it, hesitated, then sipped some. Her wings perked. "That tastes weird."

"It's a bit of an acquired taste."

Zephyr set down the cube, wrung her servos, then swallowed. "I-If we do this… It has to be completely secret."

"Absolutely."

"No one can know."

"They won't, Zephyr. I promise." He smiled, his lust growing.

She took a bit, thinking everything over. She was very curious about interface and what it felt like. After moment she finally nodded. "Okay… I-I think I'll do it."

He had to restrain himself. "Wonderful! Let me take you to the berthroom."

He stood up and had her follow him to his berthroom. Once she was inside he closed and locked the door. Zephyr stood before the berth, suddenly feeling uncertain about this.

"Maybe I spoke too soon." She said softly, but his servos were on her.

"It'll be fine." He pushed her onto the berth top, being firm, but gentle, not wanting her to panic. She was a Seeker, and she knew how to maim and kill at her age.

Zephyr tensed, nervous, but reminded herself that she wanted to know this feeling. She kept from fighting him as he touched her, stroked her frame, and parted her legs. She trembled when his servos grasped her codpiece, giving it a predatory squeeze.

"Open, Zephyr."

She didn't do it immediately, but when she did open it his servo was over her valve instantly, rubbing and feeling it. She gasped, surprised, her wings low, not daring to move. He began to rub her outer sensory node, putting pressure on it. Zephyr moaned, grasping the berthtop, this feeling far more intense than when she touched herself.

She heard his codpiece fold away, then felt his spike touching around her valve. She tensed, nervous, cycling her air heavily, trying to calm down.

He penetrated her, and she gasped loudly, then moaned, her wings perking from the sensation.

"Shhh, shhh, it's alright." He purred, his servos stroking her sides for a moment before he grasped her hips. "Just tell me if I go too fast." He said before beginning to thrust.

"Oh! Hah, oh, oh, mmm!" She moaned, panting, taking a moment before faintly smiling. "It's, hah… It's not bad."

"Just 'not bad?'"

"It's new. Oh! Ah, I'll have to, oh, get use to it."

"I'll make you enjoy yourself." He smirked, going faster.

Zephyr hung her jaw open as she panted between moans, her crimson optics looking ahead. It didn't feel bad, and it was giving her some pleasure, but she still felt… unsatisfied. It didn't feel as "magical" as she thought it was supposed to feel. How I and her uncle had described it to her whenever she asked us about it. It felt so… void of life, of love, of anything spectacular. Just… sensory and touching, no feelings, no emotions. Just lust.

As she was humped, she thought about what she was doing. This was her teacher! She had been curious, and she was glad she knew what it felt like to have a spike in her, but everything else about it was disappointing. Did she just ruin everything for when she trined? Did she ruin her own life by doing this? Was she filthy now? Would she be labeled a whore and be ostracized by her people? By her family?

What would her carrier say?"

She swallowed, suddenly scared and regretting this. "Stop."

"Hmm?"

"I said stop. Please, stop. Stop!" She raised her vocalizer.

"It's too late now. I'm already in you." Crosscut replied, holding her tighter.

"Please, let me go. Oh… Hah, please? I-I don't want to do this anymore." She looked back, coolant starting to pool in her optics.

"Zephyr, it's too late. I'm already in you. I'm working on my overload."

"You can pull out."

"I'm not pulling out!"

"Please!"

His optics narrowed. "No. I'm overloading. You should have declined when you had the chance."

"I want you out!" She started to stand up and push back at him.

He grabbed her wings and pinned her to the berthtop, pressing his weight down on her to keep her in place. He only started to thrust harder and faster, wanting his overload.

"Stop it!" Zephyr screamed, coolant beginning to leak from her optics now. "I-I won't tell anyone! Please! You're hurting me! Stop! Crosscut! STOP IT!"

But he didn't stop. He kept going, ignoring her cries. He finally overloaded into her, grunting through it. She whimpered, but didn't overload herself. He didn't pull out immediately, instead, he stayed in her as he cooled down, panting over her. When he was cool enough he slowly pulled out of her and released her wings.

Zephyr quickly backed away from him, covering her intimacy up. "I-I need to go home." She choked out between soft sobs.

"You can stay awhile longer." Crosscut smiled, trying his charm again.

"I-I have to help my carrier w-with my siblings. I-I'll see you tomorrow." She then quickly unlocked the door, ran out of the room, and out the front door. She rushed down the hallway, out a window, and transformed, flying away. She cried her entire way home.

When she landed on the balcony, she took a moment to calm down, wipe her faceplates, and normalize her intakes. She entered, forcing herself to walk properly and ignore the pain between her legs.

"Hey, Z." Skywarp greeted as he sat at the table helping Skyblast solve a puzzle.

Zephyr gave a quick nod of her helm, unable to talk, and went upstairs. She went in her room and locked the door, noticing that she was trembling and her spark still pulsating rapidly.

She covered her faceplates and cried.

* * *

I got home late that night from my night class. I was tired, and Rogue was recharging in my arms. I went upstairs and into Skywarp's room. He was still online, always staying up until I got home.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiled tiredly at me.

"Hey, sexy." I faintly smiled back. "How was your orbital cycle?"

"Long. You?"

"Same." I kissed him on the lip plates. "Love you."

"Love you, more."

"I'm going to check on my daughters. I'll be right back." I handed him Rogue carefully.

He took her. "Alright. See you in a bit."

I walked out and first checked on Tempest. I adjusted the blanket over her, made her and her stuffed toy more comfortable together, then carefully kissed her on the cheekplates. I then went to Dawn's room, fixed her wing so it was folded back better, draped another blanket over her, kissed her, and walked out. I palmed open Zephyr's room, expecting to see her recharging, but she was still online.

"Sweetie?" I perked my wings, not sure why she would be awake at this joor. "It's late. You have school tomorrow."

She didn't say anything, just kept messing with her computer, her back to me. I approached her, my wings perking.

"Princess, you need to recharge." I stopped beside her, my wings lowering when she didn't react still. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheekplates. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She answered barely louder than a whisper.

I took her chin and made her look up at me. I swallowed, seeing the coolant stains, her having been crying a lot and for a while. She looked so…. broken, so upset, so… hurt.

"What happened?" I asked a little more urgently. "Who hurt you? I'll tear them apart." I flared my wings, my engine growling. I wasn't lying.

"Nothing." She said again.

"Sweetie, please, don't keep secrets from me."

"I'm not."

"Then what's upsetting you?"

"Nothing is."

"Why have you've been crying?"

"It's nothing."

I paused. "Do you miss your sire? Is it school?"

"It's nothing." She just repeated.

I wasn't going to get anything out of her. Not tonight, at least. And I wouldn't push it. If she wasn't ready to tell me, I would have to wait or find out another way. "Alright…" I paused. "Want to recharge with me?"

She paused, then nodded.

I took her servo in mine. "Let's go, princess."

She turned off her computer and followed me back to Skywarp's room. Skywarp was confused, but he kept his mouth shut. He could wait until morning to question me about it.

I let her get in berth first, then I lied beside her. She cuddled against me, and I could feel her relaxing once I wrapped my arms around her. I was nervous. Zephyr was never scared by anything, and yet something had shaken her up. And I would find out exactly what was upsetting my precious, little sparkling and _kill_ whatever it was! I flared my wings, ready to take on the entire galaxy to defend what mattered most to me.

* * *

Zephyr was quiet the next morning. She didn't even want to refuel, but I made her drink something. She wasn't even happy to go to school. I kissed her on the cheekplates before leaving to teach my class, and she didn't even hug me back or anything. I was feeling very worried.

Zephyr went to all of her classes as normal, just not talking to anyone and keeping to herself. She just got through the orbital cycle until she found herself in Crosscut's classroom. She sat in the back, her wings low, and looking down. When he entered the room she felt her spark dropping, but he seemed to not notice her. Or, at least was ignoring her.

The class went on as normal as any other orbital cycle. Zephyr was having mixed feelings for when it would end. She wanted to leave, but what if he tried stopping her?

Zephyr swallowed when the bell went off, signaling the end of the school orbital cycle. Everyone quickly stood up, grabbing their textpads, subspacing their belongings, and quickly leaving to go home. Zephyr was making her way out when he spoke.

"Zephyr, may I see you for a moment?"

Her spark dropped, her wings lowering. She slowly turned around and approached his desk, not wanting to look up at him. He pretended to be grabbing her homework assignment until the other students had gone, then he turned to her once they were alone.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked abruptly. "I was emailing you last night."

"I-I didn't see them." She answered quietly.

He eyed her. "Why are you upset? You're a femme now. No longer a sparkling. You should be proud of yourself. Celebrate that you've come of age and are ahead of your classmates."

"Looking back at it… I-I'm not so sure if I made the right decision."

"Of course you did! You were responsible in choosing a safe person to give you your femme-hood. And if you ever want to enjoy yourself more, I am still a safe person. It gets better the more you do it." He smiled.

Zephyr didn't speak immediately. "I-I need to go to my carrier. He worries if I'm late."

Crosscut didn't like her trying to ditch him, but he knew better than to push her. "Very well. I'll see you tomorrow."

Zephyr inclined her helm before quickly leaving the classroom. She made her way down the hallway and into my classroom, where she hugged me firmly.

"What's wrong, my love?" I asked, hugging her back, feeling how tense she was.

"Nothing." She replied quietly. "I-I'm ready to go home."

My wings lowered, anxious of what was bothering her. "Okay, I'm packing up the last of my stuff now. Princess, you need to let me move." I perked my wings when I saw coolant leaking from her optics. My optics widened, feeling terrified of what was wrong with my precious, little femmling. "Sweetie, look at me." I cupped her faceplates, making her look at me. "Sparkles, what's wrong? Please, tell me."

"Nothing." She said barely louder than a whisper.

"Why are you crying, then? What has you so scared?"

"Nothing."

"Sweetie… Please, _please_ , tell me. I'm your carrier. I'll protect you. I won't tell anyone else. I won't tell your sire. I promise."

"I want to go home." She hugged me tighter, and I could feel her trembling.

I flared my wings, needing to protect my daughter. "Zephyr…" I lowered my vocalizer so only she could hear in case anyone was listening in. "Did someone touch you?"

She fought to control herself. She didn't want me to know. She had ruined her trining and lost her honor with her actions. And she couldn't hurt me with what she had done. She just clung to me, coolant leaking from her optics.

"Did someone hurt you? Is anyone harassing you? Threatening you? Bullying you?"

"Can we just go home?" She looked up at me pleadingly.

I lowered my wings. She wasn't going to answer me. Not yet at least. "Alright. let's go home." I kissed her brow. "I love you."

She just clung to me.

I got her out of that school quickly and brought her straight home. She didn't want to talk still, and instead locked herself in her room. I was almost in a panic, not sure what to do. I was just imagining the worst scenarios that I could. What was going on with my little femmling? How could I help her? What should I do to get her to talk to me? She never had trouble talking to me before…

I was stressing out. I needed to do something to help the situation. To help all of us during this difficult time.

* * *

"Zephyr! Dawn! Storm! Tempest! Skyblast! Family meeting!"

The younglings all quickly ran out of their rooms, down the stairs, and sat at the table where Skywarp and I already sat, Rogue on my lap. Skyfire was on the couch, nearby to listen, but giving us our space still.

"And what is the occasion for our summoning here?" Storm inquired.

"Well, you're all fired." Skywarp replied nonchalantly. "We are hiring new candidates for the role of our creations. You may take a gift bag before leaving. And be sure to clean out your office space."

"Screw you." Storm flicked his wings.

"I can kick your aft." Skywarp snapped.

"Prove it." Storm crossed his arms, giving Skywarp a smug look.

Skywarp flicked his wings again. "I would, but I don't believe in hitting femmes."

The other sparklings laughed while Storm just glared at his carrier.

"Ahem!" I spoke up, giving a flick of my wings so the movement would revert their optics on me. "The reason we are having this meeting is because of something Skywarp and your sire have been talking to me about. I thought of this, I've been fighting for it, and Skywarp is in agreement. And we have been pressuring your sire for a while on it." I faintly smiled. "And he finally gave in when we visited him yesterday."

"Are you two having a sparkling?" Dawn inquired with perked wings.

I sheepishly smiled. "No, my love. Although, that would be wonderful to have some orbital cycle." I gave a slight wing flutter when Skywarp put his servo over mine as it rested on the table. I knew he was thinking the same thing. "No, my beautiful princes and princesses… We have the finances to bring another family member into our trine, but not a little Seekerlet." My smile grew. "We are going to a rescue in a bit and picking out a pet."

"What, really?" Storm's optics widened.

"PUPPY!" Tempest squealed.

"I WANT A KITTY!" Skyblast shouted.

All the Seekerlets were jumping up and down, shouting, and causing a ruckus. Skyfire watched, slowly shaking his helm at how crazy they were getting.

"Sit down, soldiers!" Skywarp shouted, his wings flaring to ensure they knew he was serious.

They all instantly did so and were silent. Our little warriors knew how to take orders.

"Let me go over a few things, loves of my life." I explained gently. "We have enough finances for a pet, but not everyone can get their own. I would love it if we all could get our own pet, but… Just not now. Maybe when your sire is free and gets another job. Not making any promises. But, we can afford either _one_ larger pet, such as a cyberdog, cybercat, lilleth… Or two or three small ones, like zap mice, turborats, petrorabbits… No turbofoxes, though, or anything larger than a cyberdog. We can't afford a pet that large, nor do we have the room. And turbofoxes… They are very tricky to train and I don't have time for that. So, a domesticated pet only. Nothing wild or only one generation away from being wild."

"We get to choose?" Tempest asked.

"We're going to a rescue, they are going to introduce us to the pets that they believe will be best for our family, and… I think we should let the mechanimals decide if they want us."

"And when we bring home our new family member we'll set up the rules. Someone will be in charge of feeding them, someone will clean them, all of that. We aren't leaving it just for me or Starscream to care for. We have you guys we're in charge of. You can be in charge of the pet. Understood?" Skywarp said.

"Understood." The Seekerlets nodded.

I faintly smiled. "Alright, my loves, let's clean up the apartment so whoever we bring home can see that we're not slobs. Then, we will leave to get them."

"Okay, carrier!" Tempest esclaimed before hopping off her seat and running to help clean.

The other Seekerlets all got up to go work, Zephyr looking in a better mood than she had in several orbital cycles. I watched her, hoping this would help her and the other little ones.

I leaned against my trinemate, relaxing as he wrapped an arm around me. He kissed me on the lip plates, then nuzzled olfactory sensors with mine.

"Doing alright?" He asked.

"Tired, stressed, and worried… As usual." I replied quietly.

"He'll be out before long… And Zephyr will get better." Skywarp kissed me again.

"I hate her not talking to me…"

"I know. We'll find out what's wrong with her, Scree. Don't worry."

I exhaled heavily, hugging Rogue close to me. I really hoped that this pet did help the Seekerlets handle their sire's incarceration and whatever was upsetting Zephyr. I didn't know what else to do.

* * *

We went to the rescue, and it was a bit of a hassle to control the younger Seekerlets with how excited they were to see all the mechanimals. We managed to get them under control eventually and to be somewhat patient as the volunteers brought out potential pets that fit our needs and their personality wouldn't conflict with living with sparklings.

We met quite a few pets, cybercats, cyberdogs, petrorabbits… But, there was one that stuck out the most to me. One of the cyberdogs they brought over was old, she was quiet, and didn't do much. Just kind of lied down, let the Seekerlets pet her, gave them kisses with her glossa, and smiled as she panted. She was so gentle, so sweet, and I just couldn't stop thinking about her after all the pets we met. The volunteers told us that she had been abused, and dumped because of her age, and no one else wanted an older pet. Her knee joints weren't very good, and needed to be replaced, she no longer wanted to do much but just recharge, get attention, and be loved.

And I did fall in love with her. I wanted her. I talked to Skywarp and the Seekerlets about all the pets we met, and I asked them if they all like the old cyberdog. They did, but they also liked other pets a lot, too.

After discussing our options, and why I felt like the old cyberdog was best since she wouldn't rough house the sparklings, or be too much trouble for us with our busy schedule, we finally agreed on taking her home.

It took a couple of orbital cycles to do the paperwork, the home inspection, and going through the adoption process, but she was finally ours. We took her to a pet shop and bought everything for her before taking her home. The Seekerlets were so eager to show her around, bathe her, feed her, and help care for her. And I could feel the mood in the apartment changing with her being there. When she would just hobble into a room the stress felt like it was fading off, and having her there to hold and relax with… We all needed her.

She recharged with Zephyr, mostly because I thought Zephyr needed her the most at this time. But, she would also recharge with the other Seekerlets, taking turns with everyone.

The real toughie was designating her. The rescue had called her, Cookie, but she didn't seem like a cookie to me. No, she was a tough cyberdog and deserved a designation fitting of who she was. It took a while, we went through a lot of ideas, but we all settled on Sierra. And she accepted the designation.

Things were going well with our newest family member. It was a welcome change to the stressful life we had been living without Thundercracker. My daughters and nephews were smiling and laughing again, they were so excited to online in the mornings just to hug and play with Sierra, and the old femme was always ready to brighten up our orbital cycle no matter how she was feeling. I even started a savings account to pay for the operation she needed for new knee joints.

But, despite how much better Sierra made our lives, Zephyr still wouldn't tell me why she was so upset all the time. I was still worried and stressed over her.

My life would be changing a lot in the next stellar cycle. I was about to do something that submissives rarely ever do. And that would only cause me to finally change my destiny, my life, the soon the lives of every Seeker.

* * *

 **What is this? Did I just get a chapter done earlier than I thought I would? That's because I ignored homework to write this. Ugh... Let's rush through homework now and miss sleep. You assholes better appreciate my sacrifices.**

 **Conjugal visits are only legal in two states now. I am not sure about other countries, but that's how it is in the USA. Other states banned them because, surprise-surprise! Inmates had been taking advantage of the conjugal visits to MURDER their partners. Funny how that works. They also were once legal to conceive babies during a conjugal visit, but that was outlawed because obviously that's not fair for the baby. So, the two states that still allow them make sure people are on birth control and they give them condoms. And they do cavity checks too...**

 **Pets really do help kids be more responsible, empathetic, help with allergies, etc. And it's canon that Cybertronians have allergies! In IDW's MTMTE Chromedome tells First Aid all of Rewind's allergies when Rewind is dying and needing surgery.**

 **All the species I mention are actual Cybertronian fauna and several are confirmed to be Cybertronian pets, primarily cyberdogs.**

 **Rage and Slugslinger are canon Transformers characters. I like getting the lesser known characters in, just like with Crosscut.**

 **Friendzone Skyfire! That's his purpose. To be friendzoned. MWUAHAHAHAHA!**

 **Babies smear feces all over the walls and use the bathroom in the tub. More reasons to NOT procreate. :P**

 **Rescue pets ONLY! NEVER get from breeders or pet stores! Pet overpopulation is SERIOUS. Over 8,000 dogs are killed in shelters EVERY DAY in the USA ALONE. Even more cats each day. A LOT more are killed daily throughout the globe. There's NO such thing as a "pure" breed. That's a myth created by breeders to make a profit. And all petstore pets come from mills. Rescue from rescues and/or shelters ONLY. Spay and neuter all your pets! Not only keeps them from reproducing, but also makes them healthier, behave better, less likely to get certain cancers, but also live longer. Adopt, don't shop!**

 **Sierra is based off of my dog, Maggie. Maggie is a grouchy old lady with bad knees, doesn't do anything but demand treats and sleep, and owns me. My abusive parents abused her as well, and the only reason they gave her back after stealing her from me was because of her age and them not wanting to care for her. Same reason they gave me back my cat Genevieve. But, due to their abuse and negligence, Genevieve got pancreatic cancer and died in my arms. Maggie is still not fully recovered from what they did to her, and she's been free from them for three years now. Maggie will be turning 14 years old this April. You can see pictures of her and Genevieve on my deviantART (Ga-Maleven on devinatART). I also have an Educational Journal on pet overpopulation there you can read to learn more.**

 **The rape scene between Zephyr and Crosscut actually reflects an actual rape case. The woman was drunk and raped by a man she knew while a mutual "friend" filmed it. The woman had been begging for the rapist to stop, but he didn't, telling her it was "too late" because he was "already in." While being interrogated by police, he kept telling the officers that she was simply a virgin and therefore "was just nervous" and that it was "too late to stop once [he] had started."**

 **Ugh, I can't tell you how stressed out, busy, and exhausted I am from all this school. I am dying... And finances and everything... Ugh... And some idiot tried to run me off the road the other night while I was driving to class. Why? He was hitting on me, shouting at me, and who knows what he would have done if he did manage to crash me. But I got away from him and lost him in traffic. If he had kept following me I would have called police. He's so damn lucky my dog wasn't in the car with me because if she had gotten hurt... He would be begging for death before I was anywhere near done with him...**

 **Please, SHARE, COMMENT, FAVE, and ask questions, hate me, tell me your thoughts, oh, and make fanart! I would seriously love that. :3**

 **Your tears and raw emotions fuel me. inform me of them. I have no idea when the next chapter will come out... 10 more weeks of college!**


	18. Restoring Lost Honor

**Chapter 18**

Orns passed, then decacycles. Zephyr was still quiet, not talking, and acting strange. I needed to know what was wrong with my femmling. I worked on getting her to talk, to be honest with me, but she kept avoiding me, not answering my questions, and interacting very little with me and her family. Not even talking to her grandcarrier helped. Nothing worked. But, then I finally had my break through with her.

I entered Zephyr's room with her blankets folded in my arms. "Hey, princess. I washed your blankets. I got a new detergent that makes them smell like this organic plant that's called 'mint.' Not sure what the hell it is, but they smell really good."

She didn't say anything, just lied on her berth looking at her tablet as she messed with it.

My smile faded away as my wings slowly lowered. I set her blankets down beside her, then kissed her on the cheekplates. "Love you, princess. No matter what, I love you more than anything. You're my entire world."

I started to leave, positive she wouldn't speak to me, but she spoke.

"Carrier?" She said she quietly.

I turned around, wings perking. "Yes, princess?"

"Y-you sure you'd always love me no matter what?" She asked so soft.

I returned to her and sat beside her. "Of course, my love. Why would you ever think I wouldn't?"

She swallowed, coolant pooling in her optics. She looked like she wanted to tell me, but was scared.

I kissed her on the cheekplates. "I will always be on your side, Zephyr. No matter what, I defend you and your honor from any who would try to hurt you. I swear it on my spark." I said so only she could hear.

Her intakes quickened as she started to sob, still looking like she wanted to speak, but scared to.

I got up, closed and locked the door, turned off her computer, removed the batteries from her communicator, and turned off her tablet. I sat beside her again and held her servo.

"It's just us. No one can listen in. Everything is off, the door is locked. Just us." I paused. "Zephyr… What's wrong?"

She didn't answer immediately, starting to only cry harder. I let her, comforting her through it, waiting for when she was ready to tell me.

"I-I… I-I don't… I don't have h-honor anymore." She finally choked out, hugging me tightly.

I held her close. "What do you mean, princess? What happened?"

"I-I…I-I made a m-mistake!"

"What, sweetie?" I cupped her faceplates, making her look up at me. "What happened?"

"I-I… H-he touched me…. I-I'm not a virgin..!" She then clung to me tightly, bawling out her optics.

My own optics widened, freezing. He touched her? Who touched her? He raped her? I'LL KILL HIM!

"Who touched you? What did he do?" I flared my wings, wanting to tear out organs and feel the energon of this mech on my servos.

She took a bit before she could say anything more. "M-my teacher, Crosscut. H-he… He seduced me. I-I… I didn't go to Floret's house… I-I went to his a-and he convinced me th-that I should find out w-what interface feels like… H-he…." She was trembling now. "I-I consented at first but… I told him to stop w-when he was…" She whispered. "When he was i-in me…" More coolant began to pour out. "H-he didn't stop. A-and he's been threatening me… H-he wants to… be with me again. I-I'm scared… I-I have no honor. I-I…. I'm sorry, carrier… I-I don't know why I-I let him! I-I…. I just w-wanted to know what i-it felt like."

"Listen to me." I said firmly, making sure she looked up at me. "This is not your fault. He did this to you. And he'll suffer for it." I flicked my wings, furious. "Is that all he did?"

"He pushed me to self service… He keeps Emailing me-"

"Emailing? May I see the exchanges?"

She nodded. I went with her to her computer, and soon was reading those awful messages from someone I should be able to trust with my creations. But, I suppose I should have known better given my own experience. I was just… I was beyond murderous.

"Carrier…?" She looked up at me, worried. "Do you still w-want me?"

My spark fell at those words. I hugged my little femmling, still seeing her as that tiny, helpless sparking, fresh from my gestation tank, dependent on me and just… She's my everything.

"This is not your fault, Zephyr. I am not mad at you. I could never be. And this… Many become victims of this. It's never the victim's fault. Look at me. I'm going to handle this. Okay? I-I'm going to take care of Crosscut. I'm going to keep you safe. He'll never touch you or talk to you ever again. I promise."

She slowly nodded, more coolant leaking from her optics. I held her close, comforting her best I could. My processor was racing, trying to figure out how I would solve this. Naturally, I wanted to just hunt him down, tear him apart, and throw his remains in an acid tank. But, sadly, grounders would claim me a murderer and throw me in prison simply because I'm a Seeker. The crimes of the grounder would be ignored and my built the only thing that mattered in locking me away forever. And I knew this because it had happened to so many other Seekers trying to get revenge on their rapists or the rapists of their trinemates, family, and friends. We were always the ones punished and the rapist cleared of all charges.

No, I had to go about this in another manner. I had to keep this creep alive. I had to gather my evidence. I had to get him away from my family. In prison there were plenty who would tear apart the rapist of sparklings.

My wings perked. In prison, there was a Seeker who would most _certainly_ handle this creep.

"Princess… Will you be alright if I leave you a bit to think about what I'll do?"

She slowly nodded. "Y-yeah."

I kissed her on her cheekplates. "You may do whatever you want. Go get some cake, watch TV… You don't need to do homework. Just relax."

She nodded again, and I gave her another kiss before releasing her. I walked out of her room and went to my own room. I closed the door behind me, and faced my best friend.

"What's wrong?" Skyfire perked his wings, noticing my expression.

I couldn't speak right away. Do I just tell him? I couldn't handle this alone… I would need the help… I couldn't let her rape become public knowledge, though. I had to defend her honor. But… He had to be brought to justice. I had to protect her. I… I couldn't let her live her life as I had…

"I…" I swallowed. "Don't tell anyone."

"I won't. You know you can trust me." He sat up on the berth.

Coolant started to pool in my optics, never wanting to have to say these words. "Z-Zephyr was… Sh-she was sexually exploited… B-by one of her teachers. That's why she's been so quiet. She finally told me. I… I need to help her."

Skyfire's optics widened. "What? She was raped by her teacher?"

"H-he seduced her and he hurt my sparkling." I swallowed. "I-I need to avenge her."

"We'll get that creep thrown in jail. What evidence does she have?"

"Th-there's Email exchanges she s-still has saved on her computer."

"That's good. We could also catch him in the act. Have her invite him here thinking he'll get laid, and we ambush him, filming it all. Is she still communicating with him?"

My processor was just wandering, thinking about that creep getting his servos all over my daughter, making her feel helpless, and haunting her like this. How my own underage rape still effected me. I could see him… I could feel him holding me, unable to scream, to fight… to escape… I felt him in me, that awful pain. So scared, so helpless….

My precious daughter had suffered in the worst way. A humiliation and abuse that no one should ever have to go through. My little femmling… Now scarred for life. Filthy, unclean, honor lost… Just like me. This was my fault. I did this to her. With my unclean body, my tainted valve, my impure reproductive system… This was all my fault that she was suffering this all because I had lied to my trinemates. I had trined with a filthy, disgusting body that had been claimed by a grounder, and now my creations would suffer for my sins.

I couldn't control myself when those thoughts flooded my processor, engulfing my being with such horror, shock, self loathing, and complete misery. I started to just bawl uncontrollably, wings low and rattling, my frame trembling.

Skyfire was beside me instantly, lifting my chin up, those gentle, loving optics so wide and filled with worry. "Star, sweetie, we'll help her. Don't worry. He'll be thrown in jail and no one will ever touch her again. I promise." He said firmly, taking my servo in his.

"I-it's my fault." I choked out between pathetic sobs. "It's all m-my fault."

"None of this is your fault, love. We'll get him thrown in jail and get her the best therapist that-"

"It _is_ my fault!" I shouted, my turmoil of emotions getting the better of me. "I-I ruined my daughters!"

"Starscream, you didn't ruin any-"

"I-I'm filth!" I was becoming angry with myself, my wings flaring as I still cried. "I-I wasn't… I'm not pure! I-I'm unclean! I-I trined based on a _lie_!"

Skyfire was confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I-I…." I don't know why I told him. I had never told a spark until now. But I was so distraught over Zephyr being raped and my own self loathing… I just blurted it out. "I-I'm unclean! I-I trined with an impure body! I…" I swallowed, lowering my voice, so no one outside the room could hear. "I-I was… molested and… used when I was 5 stellar cycles old. M-my teacher… H-he touched me… He…" I hesitated. "He took my virginity before I even knew what that was… I-I never told anyone… I-I'm not pure. I-I trined by lying. I should have never trined. I am filth. A-and my filthy, whore body has now infested my daughters and they… I did this to them. I-I should had just told my creators. I should had let my honor be stripped from me a-and live my life as a palace guard… With no hope of ever having a trine…" I swallowed. "Steelwing is right. I'm just a whore. I-I belong in a brothel servicing mechs. That's all I was meant for… even when I was 5…."

Skyfire's optics were large, shocked that I had been raped when so young, but also horrified with what I was saying about myself. "Starscream, listen to me. You were 5. you had no control of what happened. You were just a sparkling. And never lied to anyone by not speaking. Star, my love, you are _not_ filthy. You're not a whore. No matter who touches you, you are clean, you are perfect, and you deserve everything. Zephyr is just as much of a victim as you are. You both deserve only love a-and compassion, and to be helped. Starscream, I don't care if someone else took your virginity, or however many recharged with you before… I love you. I always will. And you are clean, and pure, and nothing that has happened to you has effected your daughters. What happened to you and Zephyr could have happened to anyone."

"But it happened to us."

"It did. And it's terrible such things happen to anyone. But that doesn't mean you guys are 'lesser' or 'filthy,' or are 'whores.' It just means you have been hurt and you need help, love, and encouragement."

I wiped at my optics, honestly not expecting that. I thought for sure I would get a slap across my faceplates, told I was a whore, and carted off for a public flogging. But, then again this was Skyfire, not Thundercracker or another traditional Seeker.

I was startled when he suddenly kissed me on the lip plates, holding me in place as he reminded me of his strong love for me still. Forbidden love that would get me carted off to that whipping post if Thundercracker was around…

"I love you." He said quietly. "And I'm going to help you in whatever way that I can."

I bit my lower lip plate, letting my glossa run over it to taste him on me. "I-I need to catch this slagger. A-and get him thrown in prison… In the same one as Thundercracker. He needs to defend his trine."

Skyfire was silent a moment, thinking. "Let's lure him into a trap."

* * *

We told Skywarp, who wanted to just go straight to Crosscut and murder him, but we managed to restrain him. We talked, debated, planned, until we came up with the perfect scheme to catch the pedophile in the act. Zephyr was scared when we told her the plan, and we had to reassure her a lot that she would not be left alone with the freak. The plan was that the younger Seekerlets would be sent to play with their friends, not being told anything. That same orbital cycle Zephyr will invite Crosscut to the apartment telling him she had time to think things over and wanted another go. Skywarp, Skyfire, and I would hide in my room, and we would have several cameras set up in the apartment. So that when he arrived and we would get enough on footage of him obviously wanting to frag her, we would then rush out, beat the slag out of him, and hand him and the video evidence over to the police.

And then all we had to do after that was ensure he was sent to the same prison as Thundercracker without anyone catching on. And that I would call my sire to help with.

I kissed Zephyr on the cheekplates as she held the communicator, trembling. It had been three orbital cycles since she had told me about her rape, and we were ready to take action. The younger ones were out of the apartment, and Skywarp was finishing setting up the cameras.

"I'm right here, love. We're going to catch him." I reassured her, feeling her trembling. "This is all an act. You need to play him to you. Lure him in. You're a Seeker. Manipulating is what you do to defeat the enemies you cannot simply tear apart."

She nodded. "I'm just scared he'll get to me before you can."

"Sweetie, he won't touch you. I'll tear him apart before he can even get the chance. I promise." I kissed her brow. "Make the call. I'm right here."

She swallowed, her one servo holding mine as the other dialed the number, then held the communicator to her audio receptor.

"Hello?" Crosscut's vocalizer sounded.

Zephyr kept her optics on mine, gathering herself back up. She pretended she was me, then spoke. "Hello, Crosscut. It's Zephyr."

"Oh, how are you doing?"

"Fine. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come over to my place. I… Have been thinking about things and… I want another go. I was just scared the first time. I think I'm ready to try again."

"Really?" You could hear the lust growing in his vocalizer. "Well, when would be a good time to come over?"

"I'm home alone right now. Siblings are at friends and my carrier and uncle are visiting sire at prison. No one will be home for at least a few joors."

"I'll come right over."

"Let me give you my address."

"I already have it."

Zephyr swallowed at that. "Okay, well, see you in a bit then. Bye."

"Bye, Zephyr. Touch yourself now so you're ready when I get there." He then hung up.

Zephyr handed the communicator to me and I finished the recording of the conversation. "Oh, he's going to be begging for mercy." I flicked my wings, engine growling, wanting him dead.

"We're good to go." Skywarp informed me once he saw the phone call was over.

"Now, we wait." I hugged Zephyr, comforting her, but keeping my wings flared. She flared hers as well instinctively copying my body language. I kissed her on the cheekplates, giving her a tight squeeze. "He's going down, Zephyr. Don't you worry."

She nodded, clinging to me.

It wasn't long before he arrived. We rushed into my room and closed the door. Zephyr went down the stairs and opened the door, trying to remain calm.

"Hello, Zephyr." He smirked, entering right away,

"Hey, Crosscut." She said softly, closing the door behind him.

"So, where would you like to do it?" He asked, not hesitating to get down to business right away.

"Um… M-my berthroom." She stuttered, working on staying calm.

"Why not your carrier's room? I'm sure he has a larger berth," He looked around, noting how the apartment wasn't as nice as his. The mess on the floor in front of the TV from the younglings playing, dirty dishes still on the table, and the severe lack of decorations that weren't arts and crafts from the Seekerlets all over the walls and on shelves.

Sierra gave a few old, cyberdog barks, more like an "oof" sound, all deep and not very clear. She knew he was not to be trusted. But, the old femme also knew she couldn't fight. So instead hobbled up the stairs and stopped outside the door to my room, barking at it, wanting us to come out and fight for her. Primus, I love that dog.

Crosscut went up the stairs, wanting to get started already. Zephyr followed, keeping back a bit.

"Think you want to try anything new?" He asked as he looked back at her.

"Like..?"

"Like, some oral? Your carrier got anything fun to use? Toys? Switch?"

"I don't think I'm ready for kinks… I-I thought just regular interface."

"If you're going to do it might as well have some fun at it."

"I think I'll save the kinks for when I am mated."

"How about we get started." He smiled lustfully. "We don't need a berth. We can do it right here."

"I-I think a berth might be better." She took a step back, wings lowering.

"Zephyr, there's no need to be afraid." He stepped forward. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"You hurt me last time."

"Once I'm in you don't tell me to pull out. When you start to interface you have to finish it. I won't go fast this time."

"You really hurt me…"

"Come on, Zephyr. Stop thinking about the past. I'm here now and we're going to interface." He started to approach her, reaching his servo out to grab her.

Zephyr reacted. "Don't touch me!" She shouted as she leaped back.

"Zephyr, I'm here and we're going to interface. You don't call a mech to your home and deny him." He snapped.

"I don't want this after all!"

"Zephyr, come here." He kept going after her, reaching for her. "I won't hurt you. Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"Don't touch me!" She flared her wings, backed against a wall now.

"Zephyr, calm down. You're going to love me even more when I'm done."

"I'm going to love what I'm about to do to you." I snapped from behind.

"What?" Crosscut spun around just in time to see my fist colliding with his face. "Gah!" He stumbled back, but I was on him instantly,

"YOU MISERABLE, FRAGGING SLAGHEAP!" I shouted, one servo pinning him down by his neck as the other kept punching those disgusting faceplates in. "YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH MY DAUGHTER AGAIN!"

"Ah! I wasn't-! AH! STOP!" He held his servos out, pathetically trying to defend his wretched self.

I grabbed his arm, leaped to my peds, yanked him up, and slammed him into the wall hard. I wanted to tear him apart. Everything was screaming at me to do so. And I was about to begin the process of tearing off his arm when Skyfire grabbed me, and roughly pulled me off the creep.

Crosscut barely managed to stand, coughing up energon, it pouring out of his mouth and olfactory sensor now.

"Starscream!" Skyfire exclaimed. "Calm down!"

"Let me go! I'LL TEAR HIM APART!" I shrieked, frantically struggling to be free so that I could murder that filth.

"Kill him and you'll get arrested. Stop! Ouch! Do _not_ bite me!" Skyfire shouted as he pinned me to the ground, sitting on me while his servos held my wrists down, trying to protect himself from my lashing and biting.

"The cops are on their way." Skywarp informed us as he held the communicator.

Zephyr was on the floor hugging Sierra, the old femme barking still at the commotion, protecting my daughter. She's such a good femme.

"You freaks are insane!" Crosscut snapped, wiping energon from his olfactory sensor with the back of his servo. "You just attacked me!"

"You were going to rape my daughter!" I screamed, still trying to get away to murder him.

"I would never do such a thing!"

Skywarp punched him in the faceplates hard. "Shut up!" He flicked his wings. "Zephyr confessed to everything and we have all of this on camera, you miserable, slagging freak. Say another word and I'll tear out your vocalizer."

Crosscut glared at him, but remained silent, not daring to piss off a Seeker anymore. He looked at Zephyr, as if hoping she would help him. She hugged Sierra closer, terrified.

"Don't even look at her." Skywarp growled as he got between Crosscut and Zephyr.

"Zephyr, take Sierra and stay in your room." Skyfire ordered her.

Zephyr got up and led Sierra away, locking the door to her room behind them.

I kept struggling, not calming down until the police arrived. Skywarp let them in, and they soon had Crosscut in manacles. Skyfire released me and allowed me to talk to an officer, while another went to talk to Zephyr, and a third listened to what Skywarp had to say. We showed them the video footage, the Emails, and the phonecall, and they then took Crosscut away with the evidence.

I certainly didn't feel satisfied, but I had to wait. We would get him thrown into that cell, and Thundercracker would restore Zephyr's honor.

Zephyr recharged with me that night, nervous still, but she managed to smile. I held her close, never wanting her to be out of my arms again.

* * *

The trial came quickly, thankfully, in only three orbital cycles. It didn't even last long. After looking at the evidence, and even interrogating Crosscut's other students, some who were victims of his as well, the jury came to the unanimous decision he was guilty in less than a klik. The judge sentenced him to a vorn in prison, which I think was far too light. He needed the death sentence. Or, better yet, a breem locked in a room with me. Just a breem. That's all the time I need.

Crosscut was taken away to prison, and we returned home. But my work wasn't done. I called my sire, told him everything, and what I needed to happen. He was quite pissed, and told me this, "I got just the mech, Starscream. He'll make sure Thundercracker gets his servos on this cowardly degenerate. I'll order him over within the next orbital cycle."

And he certainly did arrive by the next orbital cycle.

I opened the door when there was a knock, and found myself in front of a full trine. My wings lowered some, the trineleader reminding me of Thundercracker. Not just that he was massive, but that judgmental, angry look of his as well…

"May we enter?" The trineleader asked.

"Yes, of course." I stepped aside, watching them walk in before closing the door. "Skycutter sent you, correct?"

"He sent me, dollface." The second trinemates smirked, holding his servo out to me. "Bitstream at your service. And _damn_! Skycutter makes some good looking Seekers! Look at that aft." He then gave my aft a hard smack, which took me completely by surprise. "I'd bang you any orbital cycle."

I quickly shrunk back, rubbing my abused aft. "Um… M-my sire said you'll help get a criminal in the same prison as my trineleader." I said quickly, wanting the subject changed.

"I can do that, shortstuff. Is why I am gracing you with my presence now. Hey, Hothelm! Think the Iacon police are hard to get by?"

The trineleader flicked his wings, snorting out an annoyed exhale of air. "Don't you get caught… I don't have time to get you out of prison."

"Hotlink!" The third trinemate squealed. "They have sparkles!" He broadly smiled, so happy, when seeing Rogue playing on the couch. "Can I hold her? Please?"

"Um… sure." I replied softly.

The golden one picked up Rogue and hugged her, his wings fluttering and falling in love with my youngest.

"So, prince, what's going to happen is I hack into the computer system if the Iacon police, make some switches, and your little friend will be transported wherever your spark so desires." Bitstream explained to me. "Then, I can make some changes to guard schedules and all that to ensure your trineleader gets the alone time he needs."

"Thank you." I said softly, still not comfortable with him or the trineleader. The third one, Sunstorm, I didn't feel threatened by.

"And may I just repeat myself in saying how damn beautiful you are. Frag, I honestly have never laid my optics on someone as gorgeous as you. I've seen a lot of the princes and princesses flying around, but you… Mmm!" He circled around me, something more than just desire in those optics.

I stepped back, almost bumping into Hotlink. The purple Seeker hiked his wings, studying my body himself.

"I must concur, Bitstream." He gruffly replied as he grabbed my wing and made me turn around, looking at me from all angles. "He really is fine. Nice, large hips. Plenty of good plating on him. Perfect for bearing sparklings. Not too keen on how short he is, but he makes up for it in his faceplates."

"And look at that waist. Perfect for gripping when you frag him. And that aft… Big enough for some humping and paddling, but small enough for good cuddling." Bitstream added.

"Skycutter only chooses the best breeding mates to make these fine Seekers." Hotlink continued. "If I ever became Alpha… I would definitely take this one as a breeding mate. He's submissive, too. Which is a nice bonus." He grabbed my jaw and forced my mouth open so he could look inside. "Good hygiene all around. Definitely can tell he's been bred a few times. How many sparklings have you birthed?"

"F-four." I said softly, wanting to get away, but I was a submissive and he outranked me. This plate checking and studying the frame of a submissive is actually normal and very common in Seeker society. Trineleaders had every right to trine or, if they were the Alpha, take a submissive Seeker who had a good frame for interface and sparkling bearing. I'm good stock, and they had every right to check me out. I could be punished for resisting them.

"You've barely been used then." Hotlink looked over my midsection from the front and back again. "Definitely would breed you at least twenty times if you were mine. Your trineleader better appreciate what he has here. He made an excellent choice."

"Maybe not so much." Bitstream grabbed my wing. "He's covered in scars. Seems like a troublemaker. Lots of whip marks, those are definite cable lashes…"

Coolant was leaking from my optics, just wanting them to leave me alone. But, I held still and let them grab me, turn me, and study every part of my body as if I was just some object they were going to purchase.

"Let go of him!" Skywarp barked, stomping over, wings flared and engine growling.

The other two Seekers released me and I quickly got behind Skywarp, using him as a shield from them.

"What the hell are you two slagheaps doing here?" Skywarp demanded.

"The boss sent us, well, me, to help you sods out with the little pedo problem." Bitstream explained.

"Then do that instead of bothering my trinemate." Skywarp flicked his wings.

"Fine, fine." Bitstream shrugged. "Which prison is it?"

"Iacon Penitentiary." Skywarp answered.

"Well, then we'll be on our way to get this Crosscut to your dear trineleader."

"Sunstorm, put down the sparkling." Hotlink grunted.

Sunstorm did so, then trotted over to Hotlink and held his servo. "When are you gonna spark me, Hottie? I want sparkles! Lots and lots of sparkles!" He giggled, his wings fluttering, looking so innocent and adorable. I wished I could be a submissive like that. Obedient, happy, actually wanting sparklings enough to beg for them, and… accepted.

"When we're ready. Once Bitstream can work from home and be around to care for you and the sparklings when I'm at work, then we'll start to have some." He kissed him on the lip plates.

"Yes, sir." Sunstorm just smiled, hugging his trineleader as they walked to the door.

"Ladies first." Bitstream opened the door for them.

"Go ahead." Hotlink gestured for him.

Bitstream flicked his wings.

"Thank you, my gentlemech!" Sunstorm giggled as he walked out, the other two following him.

I perked my wings as I stepped out from behind Skywarp once Hotlink's trine was gone. I turned to my brother, lowering my wings some.

"I should see Thundercracker."

"We both should see him, Star." Skywarp said softly, turning to me. "He's going to need us both there."

I slowly nodded. "I'm just scared how he'll react…"

"He's not going to be mad at you. It's not your fault."

I didn't believe that, but I slowly nodded anyway. He kissed me on the lip plates.

"We'll have Zephyr watch the younglings when we see him."

"Yes, sir…" I replied quietly, wishing I didn't have to tell Thundercracker all that had happened.

The next orbital cycle we could visit our trineleader. I held Skywarp's servo as we made our way through the prison to the visiting area. I wanted to hug and run away when I saw my trineleader. I had to be the one to tell him. It was our daughter. I didn't want to hurt him like this, but he had to know.

"Hey, my beautiful loves." He smiled, hugging us both and kissing us on the lip plates, his wings fluttering. "Love you two so much." He kissed us both again. "Where are the little ones?"

I bit my lip plate, and Skywarp spoke first.

"TC… Something happened…" He said gently. "Something bad."

Thundercracker's wings hiked, optics widening. "What's wrong? Where are my creations?" He asked quickly, worry in his optics.

"They're safe at the apartment. But…" Skywarp turned to me, signaling my turn to speak.

Coolant started to leak out of my optics. "Th-Thunder… O-our daughter… Zephyr was…" I swallowed, thinking about what she had gone through, being reminded of my rape. I lowered my vocalizer even more so only my brothers could hear. "Zephyr was taken a-advantage of by one of h-her teachers. She… She's no longer clean. He raped her. He hurt our little femmling. Sh-she-s-" I couldn't finish, starting to break down.

His optics were round, jaw hanging, horrified at this. His face… I had never seen horror, shock, fear, and worry on someone's face at once like that. But it all quickly turned to raw, unadulterated, unholy wrath in a nanosecond. His wings flared, jaws clenched, optics blazing with the fires of hell, and engine growling, his servos balled into tight fists, and the pure, hatred and lust for revenge only a sire could have for his creations emanating from his being.

"Who hurt her?" He snarled, his vocalizer cold, promising the worst death imaginable to her rapist.

"Listen to me." I spoke, a little firmer. "We caught him and he was arrested. H-he's being transported to this prison. We saw to it using a hacker… Look at me. We are setting it up. His designation is Crosscut. Look," I held up a hologram of the scum. "This is him. This is the monster who hurt our little princess." I wiped coolant from my optics. "Please… Restore her honor."

"You know I will." He flicked his wings. "When will he arrive?"

"Bitstream said the schedule had him being delivered tomorrow at mid orbital cycle." Skywarp replied.

"I'll handle it from here. Don't worry." Thundercracker kissed me. "I'm not the only inmate who has daughters here."

I slowly nodded, subspacing the hologram device. "Just… don't get in trouble."

"I'm already in trouble."

"You know what I mean."

"I got this, my love. Trust me."

I hesitated. "I do in this."

"How is she doing?"

I shook my helm, looking down before breaking down again. I just hugged him, needing comfort. I didn't know what to do for my daughter, and she was not well after all of this.

"We'll help her, Star." Don't worry." He kissed me. "Our daughter is a fighter."

"We need you home. This would have never happened if you weren't in this miserable place."

"We don't know that."

"I know that. A carrier knows." I said softly.

He vented a sigh. "Stay strong, Starscream. Our daughters need their carrier. Your nephews need their uncle. Promise you'll be strong? I know you are."

I slowly nodded, wiping at my optics. "Yes, sir. I-I'll be strong for them. For the trine. Just… Please… kill him."

He just smiled. "He's already dead."

* * *

Crosscut arrived at the prison the next orbital cycle. He was nervous, keeping to himself, knowing that sparkling rapists didn't do so well in prison. Thundercracker bid his time. Watching from a distance, not letting his presence be known.

"You've been quieter than usual lately." A grounder grunted.

Thundercracker leaned against the wall, arms crossed, wings halfway down to not be as noticeable. He never looked away from Crosscut who was sitting at a table across the room. "Does that make you worry?" He replied.

"You being a Seeker, it puts me a bit on edge."

"The scrawny, golden-brown newbie." Thundercracker nodded with his olfactory sensor.

"I see 'im."

"That's the miserable waste port that laid his servos on my eldest daughter, stripping her of her innocence." His optics narrowed. "I need a room alone with him."

The grounder turned to Thundercracker. "I could arrange that. Give me two orbital cycles."

"You have until tomorrow."

"I'll need more time for getting the guards we need to be posted."

"I've waited long enough, Turmoil. I need to be alone with him tomorrow."

"I can't do it that fast, Thundercracker."

Thundercracker turned to him. "Do you have a daughter?"

Turmoil eyed him. "I have a sister and a niece."

"How old is your niece?"

"She's 9 stellar cycles."

"And if someone raped her what would you do?"

"I'd tear that fragger apart, slowly, painfully, and burn out his optics."

"And I wish to do the same to the coward who hurt my little femmling. I must restore her honor by slaying the one who took it."

Turmoil snorted. "You Seekers and your honor code…"

"Get me a damn room with the slagheap or else I'll shove your mocking glossa right up your-"

"Fine, fine, fly boy. I'll get you your room by tomorrow, _if_ I can. I make no promises."

"Coming from you, I wouldn't expect you to uphold any."

Turmoil chuckled. "That smart mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble some orbital cycle."

"You haven't met my second submissive… He has a mouth on him that earns him a beating at least once every orbital cycle."

"I expect payment for risking my neck for you."

Thundercracker hiked his wings. "I'll get you some extra goodies at refuel. How about that?"

"Aw, no valve?"

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Just get me my fragging room, whore."

Turmoil just laughed as he walked away. Thundercracker watched him, then lowered his wings again, not wanting the broad, vibrant things to be seen by Crosscut. He returned to watching the slime, thinking about how much he'll enjoy splattering its energon all over the walls.

* * *

Turmoil and other inmates did their job. They managed to get the corrupted guards to be on duty for the time slot reserved for the execution. Some inmates would start a ruckus, distracting other guards, and force the cell block into lockdown. Thundercracker would be "accidentally" switched out with Crosscut's cellmate by one of the corrupt guards, and then Crosscut placed in the cell with him. While the other guards would be focused on stopping the fight, they wouldn't be paying any attention to what would be happening in that cell for at least a breem.

And a breem was all the time he needed.

"Ready, Seeker?" Turmoil grunted.

Thundercracker gave him a sidelong glance. "I want his energon coating my frame already."

"He's ready." Turmoil stood up and walked towards the other side of the room.

Thundercracker calmly made his way closer to the desired cell, distancing himself from where hell would be breaking out very soon.

"Sorry for this." Turmoil grumble to his accomplice before shouting angrily. "HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY ENERGON!" He then shoved the other mech down.

"Hey! Don't you touch me!" The mech leaped to his peds and the two were soon fighting.

Thundercracker kept walking, ignoring the shouting and the alarms soon going off as guards rushed in with batons and stun rods, breaking up the fight and getting inmates in their cells. A guard stopped Thundercracker and corralled him into Crosscut's cell before hurrying off.

Crosscut was soon forced into his cell, horrified at what was happening outside. He vented heavily, feeling safe in his cell and away from the chaos erupting outside.

"Hello,"

Crosscut spun around, optics widening at the sight of a Seeker. "Um, y-you're not Schema…" He stuttered.

Thundercracker sat on the berth, a thruster heel resting on a knee, his elbow on the crossed leg as his chin rested in his servo. "No, I'm not. But you're about to find out exactly who I am." He slowly hiked his wings, flaring them. "Does the designation Zephyr ring any bells?"

Crosscut swallowed, taking a step back. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said quickly.

"You don't? Then let me remind you." Thundercracker stood up, towering over Crosscut. "Zephyr. A blue Seeker femme, 16 stellar cycles old, a student of yours, and _my daughter._ My little, precious, _sweet_ daughter," He started towards him, his vocalizer changing from sounding mockingly cheery to murderous instantly. "That you _defiled_! _Raped_! _Manipulated_! stripped her of her _honor_! Broke her! And scarred her for _life_!" His engine was roaring with fury, his optics burning with the fires of hell, now standing over the cowering Crosscut.

"I-I-I didn't r-rape anyone!" Crosscut blabbered hysterically. "I-I-"

"You hurt one of my creations. The things most precious to me in this world." Thundercracker growled, his denta gritted. "And you will know pain like you never had before."

Crosscut's optics were bright with absolute terror. And, according to Thundercracker, he released all of his waste right then and there.

"GUARDS! HELP! GUAR-"

Thundercracker grasped his neck, squeezing tightly before lifting him off the ground easily. He then released the sonic boom he had been generating, it's power surging through the entire prison, being felt by all, and offlining half of the penitentiary, ensuring the doors wouldn't be able to be opened. Giving him all the privacy he needed.

Crosscut's shrieks of pain and absolute horror were silenced by the walls of that cell. His arms came off first, then his legs were broken, twisted, and ripped off. his optics gouged out by his own sharpened plates, then he was dissected. Disemboweled, his organs torn out one by one, ensuring he wouldn't die. His glossa yanked out, then his jaw broken, unhinged, and ripped off. His faceplates carved up, slowly. And a metal rod, originally the leg of the berth, ripped off and used to sodomize him before stabbing it all the way up and out the shoulder.

It was longer than a breem of this before he died from the shock and energon loss. Thundercracker ripped apart his brain module, and stabbed the spark casing over a hundred times, ensuring he was truly dead.

By the time the guards were able to saw the door open, Crosscut was long dead, his energon splattered over the walls and ceiling of the cell, puddling on the floor. His limbs, and plates, flung so hard in the fury that they were embedded in the walls. Nothing remained of Crosscut that could identify who he was. Everything had been destroyed, ripped up, and crushed. Even after he had finally perished Thundercracker had kept destroying his remains. Now, it was just a pile of scrap.

Thundercracker just sat on the floor, caked in dried energon, oil, and grease, it covering every part of his body. He panted, having gone into such a crazed, mindless frenzy he had overheated himself. He didn't do anything, just sat there, panting, cooling off, watching the horrified guards with indifference. He might as well have been a panting cyberdog watching their caregiver boringly playing on a tablet. There was nothing from him.

The guards couldn't get themselves to move for a moment that felt like an eternity. Many purged their fuel tanks, the sight, the smell, striking them with such overwhelming force. None of them had ever seen such carnage like this before. But, none of them had ever had to handle a Seeker before, either.

"C-come out." One finally choked out.

Thundercracker calmly stood up and approached. He turned around and placed his servos behind his back, allowing them to place manacles on him and lead him away. They left the cell, needing time before they could handle anymore of that scene.

Thundercracker just smirked as he was led to isolation for his punishment. The rapist was dead, his daughter's honor restored, and he had protected his trine as he should. He was a great trineleader and sire. These grounders may not get it, but he had done what any sire should do to those who dare harm their creations.

* * *

We had tried to visit Thundercracker a few orbital cycles later but were told he was being kept in isolation. No visitors or anyone allowed to see him. I immediately bought a bunch of books of different genres and grabbed whatever we had at home and delivered them to the prison for him to have something to entertain himself. Movies aren't allowed, just books and drawing material. So I even got him something to sketch on even if he didn't draw. Anything to keep his processor occupied. The thought of him going insane from isolation terrified me.

There was nothing else I could do for him. I had to just try to work my job, do homework, and raise my daughters. And cried. All I did was cry. I was falling again. All the stress piling on top of me, and after what happened to Zephyr… I couldn't take it. Old habits returned and, I'm ashamed to admit to it, but I got my servos on some circuit boosters and used them. It felt good… And I hated myself for it.

I had been clean for so long but I fell again. It's not easy. Primus, it's so hard to get clean when you feel like you should just die… I took them two more times before I managed enough strength to not go back out there for them. When I felt the craving, I forced myself to sit down with Rogue on my lap and just hug her. My daughters deserved better than an addict for a carrier. And hell, I would make sure I was the best carrier ever and never bring anymore dishonor to them. I had hurt them enough with my actions in the past.

I would just sit there, hugging my youngest, crying pathetically. My other daughters and even my nephews would come over and comfort me, and Skywarp asked if I should see a therapist. I didn't think I needed to so told him "no" every time. I should had gotten the therapy…

Skyfire tried to help, but I avoided him. I couldn't talk with him. And it took nearly an orn for him to catch on.

"Star?" He perked his wings as he looked in Skywarp's room.

I sat on the couch, hugging Rogue close as she played a game on her tablet. Skywarp was at work, and the other Seekerlets at school. I pulled Rogue a little closer, not looking at him, my wings drooping.

He approached and sat down beside me, wrapping an arm over my shoulders and pulling me close. "I think it's time to talk." He said softly.

"There's nothing to talk about." I replied quietly, my vocalizer still fritzing a little from crying all morning.

"There is. Star…" He vented a sigh. "I love you. You know this. And I'm here for you every step of the way. No matter what path that may lead us down." He paused, then lifted my chin up before kissing me on the lip plates. It was so gentle, slow, and loving. Just savoring me in this moment together. I bit my lip plate when he finally released me, wanting, needing him, but knowing I couldn't. "I love you, Starscream. And I know you love me back." He was silent a moment. "Why have you never told anyone about your… abuser?" He finally blurted out.

Coolant tears. That's all that came out of me before I started to sob. The mere thought of Brakelight was too much for me to handle. Skyfire stroked my arm, comforting me as he just let me cry.

"I'm here, Starscream. No one will hurt you so long as I'm here." He reminded me lovingly, but firmly. "You were hurt and have every right to be upset and cry."

I did cry, it taking a bit before I could calm down enough to speak. "I-I don't talk about it b-because if anyone knew I-I wouldn't have a trine. I-I wouldn't have my daughters. I-" I swallowed. "I would be alone… Never knowing actual love, my honor stripped from me, and only good enough to be a palace guard or living on the streets. I-I can't tell anyone."

"But, why not now? Now since you have a trine and your daughters?"

"I-I'm scared that I may be hurt.."

"Star, you had no control over what happened to you. It's not your fault."

"I lied about being pure."

"No one is pure."

"I trined when not a virgin and never told them. I'm filthy…"

"Is that the only reason you never talked about it?"

I hesitated. "No… I… I'm scared. I see him and I… I feel like he's going to hurt me again… I feel in danger… I feel him…. T-touching me…" I whispered. "In me…"

Skyfire intook deeply before slowly exhaling it out. "Ever thought about a therapist?"

"I have my trine…"

"Star…"

"I-I need to use my Shanix to send Zephyr to one. I don't need one…"

"Why not go through a psychological evaluation at least."

"Why?"

"Because you are deeply wounded and we should find out just how deep."

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"Please… Don't talk about him ever again. Please… I'm not ready."

"Starscream…"

" _Please_!" I started to cry anew. "I'm not ready. Don't… Please.. don't…"

Skyfire pulled me onto his lap and hugged me, being gentle with Rogue who was still on me. He kissed me on the lip plates for a lingering moment before quietly speaking. "I'll give you more time, Star. But, please, when you're ready, talk to me. I love you."

I curled into his frame, but didn't speak. I was scared. So much was happening in my life and I wasn't in any control of it. I hated all of this.

* * *

Orns continued to pass, and still Thundercracker was in isolation. We had told Zephyr what had happened to her sire and the reason behind it. She didn't react to the news of Crosscut's death other then nodding her helm, then continuing to her room. I was worried about her, about my trine, and all these feelings I was having about self harm, suicide, hopelessness, being lost, the depression, anxiety, everything… I didn't know what to do about any of it.

But, there was one feeling, something happening in me, that I must talk about because this becomes a major thing in my life even still. _Especially_ still.

For stellar cycles I was constantly getting a hard aft beating and often enough a flogging. I rarely went an orn without at least two hard aft beatings and a few warning smacks on my rear end. The punishments, the pain, the humiliation just were part of my life, and I had to learn to accept it. That I was an awful trinemate who had to be punished constantly and brutally. I needed it. It was good for me to be hurt like that by my trineleader who cared. And I just had to submit to him and obediently take my punishments.

Ever since Thundercracker had been locked away the beatings had stopped. Skywarp had only ever punished me twice, and both times it was barely anything. It felt so weird not being punished, to not have that pain on my aft constantly. I felt… like I needed it. Nothing was right without that pain, the humiliation, being reminded I was beneath someone. I… felt like I needed that. That I wasn't whole without it.

And the more I thought about how much I needed to be punished, because certainly I had done something recently that had earned me a beating, that I needed it. I was beyond due for a beating of a vorn. Why hadn't I been punished!? I needed it! I earned it! Nothing was right!

And as I kept thinking, kept feeling this need for the pain, and remembering what that pain felt like lashing across my rear… I was feeling like my valve wanted something too. I didn't get these feelings. I wasn't sure what was happening to me. I just knew I needed to be punished. I didn't want the pain, I hated it, but I needed it. Nothing was right or normal without it.

I needed to be beaten. I had to. And I would see to it I was despite how much I hated the pain.

I tried smart talking Skywarp, but he only smart talked me back. When my beloved friend sass failed me, I tried a more direct approach and insulted Skywarp, but he only insulted me back. I even dropped a glass in front of him, something that in the passed earned me forty lashes with a metal cable, but instead of that Skywarp helped me clean up the mess.

I even hit him and he just made me suck his spike to remind me I was below him.

None of this was working. I had to find another way to get an aft beating and quench these strange desires, needs, cravings, whatever you would call them. And figure out why my valve kept feeling like it wanted spike when I thought about the pain.

"Sparklings are all tucked away and in recharge." Skywarp announced as he closed and locked the door behind him. "Guess what that means!"

I smiled, wings fluttering. "I'm all yours, my love."

He teleported over to me and kissed me on the lip plates. "Yes, you are, sexy." He kissed me again. "All mine." He kissed me, pushing me down onto the berth. "Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine." He said between kisses. "I love you so fragging much. More than anything."

I fluttering my wings, kissing back, submitting fully to him. His servos roved over my body, feeling me, pleasuring me with electrical currents, reminding me who I belonged to. I pleasured him back, my optics never leaving him.

"I'm going to destroy you." He giggled with a wing flutter.

I hesitated. "Hey… Could we… Have some foreplay?" I asked quietly.

He perked his wings, then giggled. "Certainly, Scree. Whatcha wanna do?"

I felt the need to be hurt growing as my valve became more aroused. "Could you…" I felt so uncomfortable about saying this out loud.

"I what? It's okay. I won't tell anyone whatever it is. This is between you and me." He kissed me again. "Just us. I won't even tell TC."

"Promise?"

"On my trine vows I promise." He held up a servo.

I didn't speak immediately. "I… want BDSM… More… Dom and sub…" I felt my spark dropping a little, so scared of what he might say to me about this.

He perked his wings. "Who's the dom?"

"You…"

"What all you want me to do to you?"

I was feeling more uncomfortable. "I… Maybe this is a bad idea."

"No, no. If you want to try something we can. If you don't like it we don't have to do it ever again. What's up?"

I bit my lower lip plate. "I want to be… p-punished."

"Punished? How so? And why?"

"This was a bad idea. Forget it."

"No, no. You want to roleplay? We can roleplay you being naughty and needing punishment." He kissed me. "Naughty maid? Naughty school student? Ooh, naughty slave." He giggled as he fluttered his wings.

I bit my lip plate and anxiously looked away. Skywarp watched me for a moment before kissing me again.

"How about I punish you for being so damn sexy?" He kissed me again. "So damn sexy that it's illegal. No one should be as sexy, smart, beautiful, and amazing as you legally." He fluttered his wings as he smiled.

I sheepishly smiled back. "I'm not that beautiful…"

"You are. And you need to be punished for entrancing me with your good looks. Caught me in your web of cuteness." He giggled.

"Did not."

"Did to." He kissed me harshly on the lip plates, wings fluttering. "Naughty, naughty, sexy Starscream. What should I use to punish that pert aft of yours?"

"You decide?" I perked my wings.

"I think the naughty, sexy Seeker needs some manacles." He teleported off me and at his closet. He opened the door and began to grab things.

I sat up, feeling nervous, but also excited about this. My valve was demanding something, but… I don't know how to explain this other than that my aft also wanted to feel something pain related. I watched him gather everything and return to me. He dumped it all on the end of the berth, then turned to me. Gently, he placed manacles on my wrists, securing them firmly before kissing me once more.

"Safe word is… School teacher."

I faintly smirked. "But that's not a safe occupation."

He chuckled, nuzzling olfactory sensors with mine. "Alright, princess, time to pay the toll for being so damn perfect." He then sat on the edge of the berth and made me lie across his lap.

I tensed, the habit of knowing awful pain would be coming because I screwed up taking over me. I kept my wings low, submitting to him. He smacked my aft with his servo, not too hard, then rubbed over it, giving me a chance to adjust, unlike an actual punishment. His other servo grasped my wing, keeping me in place before he started to rain down the smacks hard and fast. They hurt, but weren't the worst pain I had felt. I hissed and softly gasped every so often, but didn't cry or feel the need to. At first it was… I felt like I was in trouble, but after a while… I started to feel like this was a little different. He wasn't being overly rough with me, and there was no lecturing, no shouting, no intent to hurt me as much as possible. Just… More playful. If that makes sense. And then it started to hurt less. Just was… a feeling I was having that was uncomfortable, but also… like I needed more of.

"Harder?" I said, not realizing what I had said until after it came out.

"You want harder?" Skywarp perked his wings.

I bit my lower lip plate. "Yes, sir."

He giggled. "Alright, sexy." He reached between my legs and rubbed over my codpiece, sending electrical currents into it. "But this needs to open."

I did open it, and his servo was over my valve instantly. I gasped when he started to rub my outer sensory node roughly, sending bursts of pleasure into my system. But as quickly as the waves of ecstasy started, they ended. He reached over to the kink pile, grabbed a paddle, then patted it against my aft a couple of times.

"Who do you love?" He purred, stroking my wings lovingly.

"I love you." I faintly smiled.

"I love you more." He then smacked my aft with the paddle.

I gasped, grabbing his leg, but didn't otherwise move. I was trained. And this submissive remembered his training. But, he didn't hit me right away. He paused, stroking my wing again.

"You're going to count, Starscream. Say the number followed by a 'thank you, sir.' Understood?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Good, mech." He rubbed my valve, rewarding me with a moment of pleasure before giving my aft a firm smack with the paddle.

"One, thank you, sir. Two, thank you, sir. Ow! Three, thank you, sir!" And this continued, him pausing between each strike and me yelping occasionally from the blows. He only gave me twenty before setting aside the paddle to give me a very rough servojob on my valve, leaving me a moaning mess.

"Think you've been punished enough?" He asked, noting how aroused my valve was and my cooling fans whirling.

Strangely… I felt like I still needed something. I didn't feel… satisfied enough. I needed more. I needed… To cry. I looked back at him, nervous, but we already had done this much so maybe he wouldn't judge.

"Could you… P-punish me more?" I asked quietly.

"Paddle?" He held it up.

I shook my helm. "I… want more."

"Um, like a switch?" He set aside the paddle and grabbed a metal switch.

I shook my helm.

"Uhh…." He reached around in the kink pile, looking for something. "I don't know what would be good, Star. All I got is a couple of tawses, a crop, and a metal cable."

I thought for a moment before answering him. "The cable."

He perked his wings, turning to me. "Really? You want the cable?"

I looked away, feeling stupid. But he only shrugged.

"If that's what you want, Scree." He pushed me off his lap and stood. "You decide the position."

I stood, glancing at the berth, but lying on it was what I did for regular punishments. I really didn't want to risk ruining anything by making it seem like I was in actual trouble. I placed my servos on his desk and leaned over slightly, making sure my aft was in the perfect position for being lashed. I wasn't sure why I was subjecting myself to this, but I just felt like I needed to.

Skywarp stood behind me, wrapping an end of the metal cable around his servo so he could use it like a whip. He kissed me on the cheekplates before giving my rear end a hard lash.

I grit my denta, remaining silent. I exhaled heavily before speaking. "One. Thank you, sir."

Skywarp smirked. "You're welcome." He replied before giving me another hard lash, a pause for me to speak, then another lash.

As he kept beating my aft, and I thanking him for it, I just felt… Like I needed a spike in me. Badly. Torturously. It was so overwhelmingly strong, but I fought against it, waiting for him to finish with me before he decided when I would be gifted his spike. Lubricant was trailing down my thighs after ten lashes, and he noticed. He hit harder. And after twenty I had to let go of the desk to put pressure on my primary sensory node, trying to satisfy some of that lust, the burning desire my valve was screaming at me for. And Skywarp just smiled evilly.

"Starscream, come here." He gestured me over, which I obediently did. "Only I can touch your valve. It's all mine tonight. Understand?"

I nodded, wings lowering.

"I have to punish you for touching yourself. Get on all fours on the berth."

I did so, and he removed the clasp of the manacles from one wrist, forced my chest against the berth top so that my aft was in the air, and pulled my wrists behind my knees before cuffing them together again. I was stuck in this awkward position, my cheekplates pressed against the berthtop, forced to watch him, as my aft was high and exposed for him to do whatever he wanted with it.

He just smiled as he started to resume lashing my aft hard. I couldn't look away from watching his arm swing down as pain erupted from my abused rear end. He did start to hit harder and faster, I guess expecting me to say the safe word, but I just didn't. It hurt, I was yelping, I even had some coolant leaking from my optics, but… My valve was so turned on and this pain… I needed it. This was good for me. I was getting what I should have been getting every orbital cycle. He had to continue. I had to be punished for all the bad things I had done that had gone unpunished. I needed this, needed it harder, and needed to be reminded of my place.

He gave me a hundred brutal lashes with me in this humiliating position before he stopped. "I think my sexy trinemate has learned his lesson." He set aside the cable, then removed the manacles from me. "You want my spike in you?"

I nodded quickly, absolutely starving for that spike. I needed it, lusted for it, had to have it!

He got onto the berth, staying on his knees as he removed his codpiece. I was still on all fours and started to turn around to give him my rear, when he grabbed me. "Nah uh. I see how much you want to be penetrated. So I'm going to torture you more. Suck it." He pointed at his spike. "And if I don't like it…" He reached over and grabbed the crop. "Your aft is going to get it."

"Yes, sir." I nodded, not entirely upset about this. I don't particularly like giving oral, but I don't hate it either.

I opened my mouth and took his spike in and down the back of my throat. It was easier doing this with his than Thundercracker's. He grasped the back of my helm and offlined his optics as he enjoyed himself. I mouthed, licked, and swallowed around his spike, not enjoying when he started to thrust into my mouth. I got quite a few lashes on the aft from the crop, but it just made me more desperate for his spike to be in the opposite end.

He finally came after a klik, filling my mouth as I jerked my helm back. I held it in my mouth as I stood on my knees, grabbed his helm and tried to kiss him. The look of disgust was priceless as he pushed my face away.

"Ew! Swallow or spit it out!" He exclaimed.

I had to swallow twice to get it all down. "Now may I kiss you?"

"No, now you may show me that heavenly booty." He giggled.

I excitedly did, getting on all fours as I pressed my rear against his codpiece. He quickly entered me, an arm wrapping around my waist as the other rested on the berth to support him. He nipped my nape between loving licks as he started to thrust into me. I offlined my optics, the soreness of my aft, the pain pulsating through my system from his harsh humping, and the wondrous sensation of his spike in my burning valve sending me to a magical land, my own utopia. I pressed back against him, needing more, needing it deeper. I moaned and panted softly, wings fluttering, feeling him slide in and out, harder and harder. Lubricant soon coating my thighs and all around the base of his spike, sticky and warm, making weird, gloopy sounds that I couldn't help but giggle at. Such things always made a strong, romantic, sexual experience more of a silly act. He chuckled when hearing me, kissing me over my shoulder.

"I love you." He whispered in my audio receptor.

I fluttered my wings. "I love you more."

"I love you most."

My chestplates folded away, his right behind. I gasped when our sparks' energy intertwined and I felt his very being with my own. I pushed back, standing on my knees, forcing him up as well, his thrusting never ceasing. I arched my backstrut, his arms wrapping around my waist firmly. I leaned back, and he soon was sitting on his heels, legs spread a little, and I on his lap, finding myself riding his spike. My backstrut arched more when he pulled my helm back and kissed me on the lip plates. I held his servos in both of mine, lifting myself up and down on him, my helm leaning back onto his shoulder now. He kissed me on my neck cables, groaning softly into my audio receptor.

I slowed down, just enjoying this time with him. Our optics locked onto each other, digits intertwined as we held servos still, smiling at each other. He released my servos to feel along the sides of my body, then grope my breastplates as he kissed me on the lip plates.

"Love you." He whispered.

"Love you more." I said softly back.

I continued to slowly ride him before we finally overloaded, our sparks bonding savagely, the surplus energy coursing through our systems and into the berth beneath us. Pure, unadulterated ecstasy between our bodies momentarily bonding as one. Brows pressed together, optics locked on each others, we panting, resting, no words spoken, but so much being said. I smiled at him, and he kissed me for a lingering moment.

"Round two?" He asked.

I just smiled and nodded.

We changed positions, him lying down as I road him, then after that missionary with me at the bottom. Then standing. We overloaded each five times. And when we finally exhausted ourselves we cuddled for recharge. Skywarp held me close, wrapping a leg over mine, refusing to even pull out of me. I knew I would feel weird down there in the morning, but I let him stay in. I felt satisfied now, and loved. Everything else momentarily forgotten. Just me and my trinemate. I was happy with this kind of life.

* * *

Things were going well, all things considered. It was a few more orns before Thundercracker was finally released from isolation. Skywarp and I went alone to see him for the first time since being locked in there. He was… quiet. Didn't ask any questions or do anything. He hugged us, kissed us, but didn't say he loved us. He sat down and just listened, his servos idly playing with each other, and his optics always looking down. I cried seeing him like that. The prison was changing my beloved trineleader and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Skywarp managed to hold himself together, trying to be strong for me, but he broke down once we walked out of the prison. Thundercracker needed out of that place, but we just couldn't save him.

"Carrier!" Rogue shouted excitedly when we returned home, running over to me with her arms stretched out.

I picked up my youngest and held her close, her little arms wrapping around my neck as she hugged me. I needed that. Needed some comfort and love from my daughter. "Hey, princess…" I said softly.

She noticed I was upset so grabbed my cheekplates and, sloppily, pecked a kiss to my lip plates. I gave her a small peck back, then kissed her cheekplates.

"What's wrong, carrier?" She asked, her digits poking at my transformation seams on my shoulder.

"I just saw sire. He's really sad that he's not here with us and it makes carrier sad when he's sad."

"When will sire be home?"

"Not for a while longer."

"Carrier needs huggles!" She then hugged me tightly around my neck.

"Thank you, sweetie." I gently hugged her back. "Carrier needs all the huggles he can get."

I walked up the stairs, still holding my youngest with one arm under her rear as she hugged me. Zephyr perked her wings seeing me, noticing how upset I looked. She trotted over and hugged me before I could reach the door to Skywarp's room.

"Love you, carrier." She said, wings fluttering.

I forced a small smile. "Love you, too, princess." I hugged her back with my free arm.

"What's wrong?"

"Your sire is finally out of isolation, and…" I paused, controlling myself. "It did something to him. He just… was different." I quickly wiped coolant away from my optics. "I've never seen him like that. I'm scared for him. For our trine."

"What was he doing?"

"He just… Wasn't very responsive… Quiet… Not himself." I swallowed. "He did it for you. He's like this now because he wanted to protect you. I hope you know that."

Zephyr didn't say anything. I kissed her on the cheekplates then went into Skywarp's room. Zephyr stood there, wings low, processing everything.

* * *

An orn passed. Thundercracker sat chained to the table by his ankles, patiently waiting. He had been taken out of his cell, being informed he had a visitor. He went through the usual routine, and now sat there, glancing around at everyone else who had already been united with their family and friends.

His wings perked when hearing familiar thruster heels clopping. He looked up, optics widening some. He stood up, silent, watching, his servos gently clasped together. He swallowed when his visitor was close, not sure what words to say, if any.

"Hey, sire." Zephyr greeted softly, stopping before him. She paused, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't. She looked away, gathering herself before hiking her wings and facing him again. "I can never forgive you for what you did to my carrier or my uncle. You hurt them physically, emotionally, and sexually, and have scarred them for life even if they are not aware of it. My carrier suffers from panic attacks. He tries to hide them, but I've seen them. Skywarp has frequent breakdowns and believes himself to be a failure with a broken body and has no self esteem. Both of them have so many triggers that set them off in fear and submission. They refuse to recognize these things as mental illness all because they've been led to believe that being beaten, raped, screamed at, exploited, and… enslaved is their place in life. It's not. No one should be treated that way, sire. And I will never, ever forgive you for breaking them. For hurting them, ruining their lives, and making them hate themselves, their own bodies, and their lives." She swallowed, controlling her emotions. "You're their trineleader, but that doesn't negate your treatment towards them. You're my sire, and that doesn't mean I should like you, respect you, or defend you. You harmed them, and regardless your biological relationship to me, that fact always will come first. My carrier comes before you. I love carrier, I'll do whatever I must to protect him a-and care for him. Same with my uncle. But I do not share that promise for you. I do not support abusers, rapists, or bullies. Even if my sire is one." She paused. "That being said… There's a reason I came here, sire. I wanted… To thank you for restoring my honor and getting revenge on him. I know you were punished for it and are upset about your punishment, but I hope you are considering how my carrier and my uncle must feel when they do something that may not be wrong to them but you perceive it as something awful and greatly harm them. And how they must feel afterwards. How my carrier… Who's so much smaller than you…" Coolant started to leak down her cheekplates as she began to lose control of her emotions. "And so much weaker than you must feel when you grab him, and pin him down t-to a berth or the wall and then hurt him. And he's too small and weak to fight back. And he's so scared… Terrified because he knows he has no way of defending himself from you. And he has to just take a beating o-or being raped. But he simply can't fight you. Do you even think about how he must feel? Being that small? That weak? And then someone your size and strength just throw him around, strangle him, beat him, and rapes him without even thinking how he must feel…? And Uncle Skywarp is small, too. He can't fight back against you. A-and after they've been raped and beaten they just… Have to take it, to act like it didn't bother then when it tears them apart, and if they say how it did bother them, how they feel, they're hurt for that. My carrier is a person. My uncle is a person. And they need a person to take care of them, love them, and build them back up. Not a monster to tear them down. A-and I wish you would be that person that they need. To be someone they can just be themselves around and not be hurt. But I don't think you'll ever be that person. I think you'll stay my abusive sire who makes my carrier cry and rapes him to produce more sparklings as if he's some factory. My carrier is amazing. I love him more than anything on this planet." She swallowed. "But I have no love for my sire. I-I see my friends who their sire treats their carrier with love and compassion and they have an amazing relationship. I go to their houses and there's no tension. There's no fear in the optics of the carrier. There's no punishing equipment in the sire's berthroom. There's no shouting, no threats, no terror. no scars over the frames of the carriers. And when I recharge over I never hear the carriers crying themselves to recharge, I don't hear them begging for a beating to stop or for a rape to end. And my friends all get along with their sires and love them. Because their sires actually love and respect the ones they swore their lives to. I want my carrier and uncle to have that as well from their trineleader." She paused. "Are you going to speak?"

Thundercracker didn't speak immediately, and when he did it was quiet. "I've said so much before. There's nothing I can say anymore than will change your processor. I wish you loved me as much as I love you. I love you, and if you have chosen to not love me, to reject me from your life… If it makes you happy I will respect that decision. I just ask that no matter what happens after you leave my trine… That you still visit your carrier even if it may mean seeing me. I won't interrupt your time with him. You will be free of my trine and I just want you to stay in contact with your carrier. Contrary to what you may believe, I love him and Skywarp very much, as well as all of my creations. As long as they are all safe and happy, that is all I ask. Even if keeping them happy means never speaking to or caring about me. I'm a trineleader and I'm prepared to make sacrifices for those I'm in charge of caring for."

"Can't you make the sacrifice of swallowing your pride to care for my carrier and uncle the way they should be cared for?"

"Zephyr… I've told you a million times why I must punish them. I don't enjoy hurting them."

"I don't believe that."

"When you get your own trine you'll understand."

"There will be no abuse in my trine."

"There's none in mine."

Zephyr exhaled heavily. "I hate you, sire. While I'm thankful for you killing Crosscut, I'm even more thankful you're behind bars. And I pray that carrier and uncle will move away in secret before you are released so they never have to see you again. And I pray that someone in this prison will stab you with a shank so that my carrier and uncle will be free of you forever. And I hope you understand that my hatred for you is because of how you treat your trinemates. You are great to your creations, but that alone won't buy my love or respect for anyone who beats and rapes my carrier and my uncle.." She paused. "It was a mistake coming here. You'll never change."

And with that she pivoted on a thruster heel and quickly walked out, coolant beginning to pour from her optics as she started to sob. Thundercracker stepped forward, reaching out, but the chains stopped him. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His wings lowered, feeling his spark sink lower in his frame. He reset his optics controlling his emotions. He was soon escorted back to his cell, and it was then when he was alone and away from prying optics he allowed his forbidden emotions to grasp control of him. He covered his optics and wept, any hope of ever winning her back finally snuffed. She was gone forever. His first creation, his eldest daughter… His pride and joy… Gone.

And for the first time in his life he only saw himself as a failure. A failure of a sire. His trinemate attempted suicide to escape him, his daughter wanted him dead, that same daughter had gotten him thrown in jail, he lost his job, he was losing a trinemate to a shuttle, and his trine was continuously falling apart. He was a failure as a trineleader. He was nothing but a failure. Nothing he did seemed to work the way it should. He was the worst trineleader ever.

His little femmling hated him… She was gone… His spark was shattered. It had been tearing for stellar cycles as she grew more and more distant and hostile towards him. And now… It was nothing.

What if his other creations turned their backs to him? What if he did walk out of this prison only to find his trinemates had run away to be free of him? What if he did die in this place?

He cried himself to recharge, unable to refuel at all that orbital cycle or for the next five. He avoided everyone, didn't speak, and refused to leave his cell. There was no point. Not when his daughter wanted him dead.

* * *

Four and a half decacycles passed. Things had been going as well as they could, minus some tension was building regarding finances. We were low, budgeting like crazy to continue paying for the Seekerlets' school, rent, utilities, the dog, energon, and trying to have something to get all our creations some decent gifts for their emergence cycles. Skywarp had been glitching about it all for a while, but then he started to shift the blame of the low savings from us just not making enough to me not budgeting properly and not distributing everything right. A few times he had claimed he would be better at it, but he never did anything but glitch.

But it of course changed. And I had to change as well.

"Seriously? This is slag." Skywarp snapped when seeing our latest bank statement, going off on one of his rage filled rants. "How can we have so little if all you do is budget and plan as you keep saying you are?!"

I lowered my wings. "Skywarp, we aren't making enough and sparklings are expensive. Everything is being done right. If we keep to our current budget pl-"

He threw the tablet he held down on the floor, causing me to flinch. "Starscream, this budget plan of yours is clearly screwing us up! No, I'm done with this. I'm taking over. Give me the password."

I shook my helm. "Skywarp, I can't trust you t-to be able to handle-"

"You don't trust me?" His wings flared. "I'm you're _trinemate_ , you idiot! If there's _anyone_ you can trust it's me!"

"I-I trust you in everything but being able to properly budget a-and handle finances! Skywarp, please, let me just stay in charge of the-"

"No, Starscream. I'm your dominant and you have to obey me. Give me the password." He flicked his wings.

Normally, this would be the part where I submitted, got the beating I earned for not obeying right away, and cry myself into recharge. But, I knew Skywarp couldn't handle the finances. I love him to death but… He doesn't have the processor for this sort of thing. I did. I'm good with numbers, planning, calculating… I had to stay in charge of this. If he took over, and he screwed up because he didn't know any better, then we could lose everything. And I am not about to let any of my daughters and nephews grow up on the streets and be unable to attend school. That's not happening. This carrier would kill first. And thinking about my precious princesses and nephew princes made me willing to do anything to remain in this position, no matter what may happen to me as a consequence.

"No." I said, a little soft.

"What?"

"No." I said firmer, louder, my wings hiking. "I'm not letting you have access to the bank account, Skywarp. Y-you can't handle it. And you will not force us into the poor house because of y-your inability to properly budget and your insignificant knowledge of how to even pay the damn bills."

"I'm your dominant!"

"You have no knowledge about finances!" I shouted.

"Do you want me to dominate you!?" He screamed.

"Dominated me for stopping you from being a complete slagging moron and screwing us over with your incompetence?!"

"You're getting a beating! A-and a dominating! And then you'll hand over the information for the bank account."

"You want it?" I flicked my wings. "Just try and take it."

Stupid words, but I was changing. And I would be changed a lot more after this orbital cycle.

He lunged forward and grabbed me, tackling me to the ground. We soon found ourselves punching, kicking, and biting as we rolled around on the floor. He teleported, reappearing to grab my legs just as he activated his thrusters, carrying me up with him, then slammed me into a wall. I cried out, then kicked off the wall and grabbed his wing as I activated my thrusters. I pulled with all I had, taking him with me as I frantically tried tearing off his wing, but he only teleported and punched me in the faceplates. And he kept punching me, teleporting to escape my counterattacks.

I found myself in a loop of being punched in the face, abdominal plates, kneed in the chin, grabbed by my wings and slammed to the ground, punched in the face, yanked up, and the cycle repeating. Skywarp depended on his outlier ability far too much when fighting, and this could be exploited. I had practice fought with him a million times, as well as simply play wrestle. I knew what he did, how he thought, how he would get into these repeating loops. While he may have his outlier ability and Thundercracker his strength, I had my speed and my processor. I may be a short, weak Seeker, but I make up for it in other ways.

I focused on his pattern, I timed his frames of teleporting, I planned it out, I mapped it, I saw where he would be next and where I would be. I focused, I waited, then…. I struck.

He teleported in front of me to punch me in the faceplates, and I quickly blocked the blow, anticipating it. He started to teleport, and I lunged my other fist out, entering that shifting air and energy field as he began to transport his matter. Timing was everything. If I did it wrong I would hit only air. But I was right in my calculations. I struck him, his outer layer disappearing as it was warped, exposing his insides for the briefest of nanoseconds before they were teleported. And I struck. I managed to actually strike them.

"AHHH!" He cried when materializing to the side of me, clutching his abdominal plates that were unharmed. "What the hell?!"

But he didn't have time for anything else. I attacked. I punched him, I took him by surprise and brought him down. I was already covered in my own energon, but soon found his energon on me as I tore at him, ripping off plates, a wing, and even an arm. He fought back, us wrestling, flinging each other around, the furniture all toppled over, Sierra cowering in a corner, and the walls covered in dents.

It was a mad, blind rage I was in, just needing to destroy my enemy. I guess the myth of Seekers having some special programming that made us ravage, mindless beasts in combat was somewhat true, because I certainly felt something in the heat of that moment.

And then it was gone. I found myself on top of Skywarp, him just lying there, both of us panting, energon pouring from the wounds on our bodies. I was indifferent, dazed at first, but then it struck me. I had defeated a dominant. I had actually won a fight against another Seeker. Despite being so small, so weak, so helpless… I had won. I had vanquished my opponent.

We just panted, cooling down from the fight, the pain of our injuries beginning to kick in. I knew what had to be done next. If I were to just submit, he would punish me and get the bank information. But I had won, and I wasn't going to be punished for protecting my daughters. Not this carrier.

I grabbed his shoulders and flipped him over under me. He didn't struggle much as I positioned him, forcing him on his knees so his aft with in the air, but his faceplates pressed into the floor.

"Open, Skywarp." I flared my bent and torn wings.

He hesitated, then did so, realizing he had truly lost and was too wounded to fight back. I removed my own codpiece, taking a moment to vigorously rub my spike to get it to harden, which surprisingly was not easy to do when I was in that moment of energy pumping through me, excited, terrified, the fight still tugging at me. When I did get it hard enough, I grabbed his hips, paused, then guided my spike into him slowly. He hissed, not aroused down there so it hurt. I had never dominated before so I was nervous if I would even be able to do this. I grasped his remaining wing with one servo as the other grabbed his shoulder, then I began to thrust hard and fast. It hurt me some, but I knew it hurt him more. I bent his wing more than what it already was, then bit him hard on the nape. I did what Thundercracker always did to me whenever he dominated me. And it must have been done right because Skywarp soon was crying, coolant leaking from his optics. I felt bad for hurting him, but I reminded myself why I had to do this. I had to take care of my daughters. They came first. So, I thrust harder and bit more, listening to his sobs grow louder.

I kept going, going over a breem, wanting to make sure he wouldn't attempt to fight me again anytime soon. And when I deemed he finally had had enough, I pulled out and folded my plates over. He quickly closed his and sat down, facing me, trying to protect himself from more pain.

"You're not touching that bank account." I growled down at him. "I don't care who you are. I'm not risking my daughters suffering anymore than they have."

He didn't say anything, just wiped coolant away from his optics. In pain, humiliated, and upset. I watched him, then helped him stand up. I kissed him on the lip plates, scared of him thinking I hated him or actually enjoyed that.

"We should see a doctor…" I said softly.

"A doctor would be nice." He replied barely louder than a whisper.

We started towards the balcony door when it opened.

"Hey, I got some supplies. There was a sale on-" Skyfire stopped, his optics widening. "Please tell me you didn't murder the neighbors. Oh, Primus… Fragging Solus Prime, there's energon everywhere…. Why are you guys missing limbs?!"

"Seeker politics." I replied casually. "Hey, could you take us to the hospital? We're kind of low on energon."

"Why do Seekers have to be so stupid…?" He grumbled. "Yeah, I'll take you. Come on."

I glanced at Skywarp, but he was looking away from me, optics dim, coolant leaking from his optics. I started to lower my wings, but then hiked them. He was upset he lost. I couldn't let him bring me down. I had defeated him. I had proven myself superior in combat. And I was not about to lose this position anytime soon.

And this was only the beginning.

* * *

 **It's only the BEGINNING guys! MWUAHAHAHA!**

 **Life sucks... Things have been crazy busy for me with college, being bullied and harassed by morons supporting killing innocent animals and babies, including my own sister who said I and everyone else is better off dead that living because life is "full of pain." Yes, tell that to the person who has suicidal tendencies all because I don't want to kill babies. I definitely need to hear that from my own sister. And all the other nasty things you have to say to me for being vegan. Join the hate club on peace and compassion!**

 **At least I have a summer job where I'll be the boss and can leave my current job! That's filled with assholes... Assholes are everywhere...**

 **Right now I have... 8 more weeks of college before I graduate! W00t! Ugh... dying...**

 **Ahem, back to the chapter I actually managed to get done this week despite drowning in homework and midterm assignments...**

 **So, Seekers are big on honor and those who don't lose their virginity to their trinemates are "unclean" and lose their honor. And you can lose your honor by simply interfacing with someone outside the trine without the trine's permission. Starscream lost his honor when he interfaced with Skyfire without being told he could by his trinemates. He committed adultery. But he had lost his honor even before when he was raped as a baby and "unclean" from that. Zephyr loses her honor when she interfaces with Crosscut, but then Thundercracker restores it. Why does Zephyr get her honor back but not Starscream? Good question!**

 **The reason being... When Crosscut interfaced with Zephyr, in seeker culture, interface is more about bonding and claiming than it is to reproduce. Trines are all about trust and being tightly knitted together. They show off they are a trine by interfacing in public to show off they belong together and no one can have any of them because they belong to their trine. And then interfacing with a mate, whether Seeker or not, is still binding them together. Trines are built for combat and being able to fight together. A strong bond, trust, and belonging to each other is key to fighting together as efficiently as Seekers do. Trines are the ultimate warriors because their relationships are so strong due to their extreme closeness to each other via interface, living together, procreating together, etc.**

 **In ancient Roman times when the soldiers marched off to war, they would have sex together. Not all of them were gay. It was because 1) no women around, and 2) it created strong bonds and the Roman army was harder to fight when the soldiers were THAT close to each other, THAT trusting of each other, and truly cared for each other. Congrats. You learned history from reading a fanfiction about robot porn. Tell it to every homophobe you know. XD You guys must love my notes at the end of each chapter. I educate you guys about so many things.**

 **Back to Seeker honor! So, Crosscut claimed Zephyr as his own and not being a trinemate took her honor. By Thundercracker killing him, he avenged her rape. He didn't allow Crosscut to run off with her honor and be bonded to her. He broke that bond, those invisible chains, and stole back her honor. While she is still not a virgin, Seekers who lose their virginity via rape but have it restored simply are "impure virgins." They are still very likely to get a trine since their honor was restored and they didn't allow a non-Seeker to sexually enslave them and own them.  
**

 **Starscream's rapist still has his honor. He stole it, he's still alive, and Starscream has no hopes of getting it back. Being an unclean Seeker, no one would want to trine someone who sexually is owned by a non-Seeker. By someone who has no honor and will only produce sparklings who come from an "unclean" valve. Starscream could have had his honor restored if he had told his sire when still a baby and Skycutter dealt with Brakelight. But, as with many victims of rape, domestic violence, etc. he was embarrassed, scared, and didn't know what to do. He was a baby, not even knowing what had happened since he didn't even know what interface was at the time. And so he never told. And as time kept passing he just continued keeping it to himself, a habit now, and soon pushed it far back. But of course it resurfaces often to haunt him. And now, if he tells after lying about being clean for all this time it would bring dishonor on his trine, and could lead to him being severely flogged, beaten, or worst case scenario, killed. And of course he doesn't want that.**

 **I image mint comes from multiple planets despite Cybertronians not knowing about Earth yet. Mint is so good it CAN'T be from Earth! :P And if you spray mint oil around your house it keeps mice away because the strong smell hurts their little noses. Better than those cruel glue traps or anything else to kill a harmless mouse just looking for some food.**

 **The trap they set up to catch Crosscut is based on an actual trap a couple of parents did to catch the rapist of their very young daughter. They filmed it and the father really beat the shit out of that coward... It's on youtube... I can't remember the name of the family. But I'm sure if you guys just do a Google search you'll find it.**

 **Child molesters/rapists never do well in prison... Even the murderers of adults, and some of the lowest scum still attack child rapists because despite how low they are, they know not to go THAT low. And most men in prison are fathers, and at least are fathers of little girls. And most of those fathers actually love their daughters and will seek out the revenge of a father on a child rapist.**

 **Yay for Hotlink's trine! Gotta love those assholes! And, yes, dominants can do whatever the fuck they want to submissives, even check them to see if they would breed well. And that's actually a think some sickos still do today to women. It's not just non-human animals being treated so disgustingly like that.**

 **All prisons have corrupted guards and inmates with power... Even guards and inmates having romances... This is why drugs still get into prisons and so many other bad things still happen despite the security. Bad guards, powerful inmates, shit happens. And some prisons there's inmates who basically own the place.**

 **Oh, and books for inmates is an actual thing. Recently, the government is trying to stop the programs to give inmates books, which is awful. So, please show support for books for inmates and see about donating old books you no longer want!**

 **The one scene where Star was home while the kids were at school... He's been taking days off because he's not doing well, hence why not teaching on a school day.**

 **Some people can develop fetishes from abuse. Especially if you get so use to pain and then one day it's just gone, it can cause the body to be confused why there's no more pain when there should be pain since that's now normal for it. In all my other fics I've said how Starscream hates the pain, but still asks for it whenever they interface. In my other fics he was abused as a baby (again, this fic changes HIS childhood, but no one elses from my established headcanons) and thus got use to always being in pain, and as an adult felt the need to continue the pain, developing his fetish. He's not a masochist, he just feels he needs it and it arouses him.**

 **Turmoil and Schema are canon TF characters. Turmoil is a Decepticon general that Deadlock (Drift) was right hand to for much of the war, and then Turmoil met his end after mocking Starscream. Because Starscream is fabulous and kicks giant ass.**

 **Zephyr's speech... Originally she was going to go in, thank her daddy, hug him, and leave. But as I was writing it, she took over and it ended up becoming that. Which I prefer because it's more her standing up for what she knows is right and for those she loves. No one has ANY right to enslave anyone (human, non-human animal, alien robot...) and no matter your title you still have no right to abuse, rape, exploit, kill, and enslave others. And she has EVERY right to hate her sire for what he did. No one HAS to love their parents simply because they're your parents. You don't owe family anything. If your family are abusive assholes, you need to acknowledge that and either make them better people or get away from them. Toxic people have no place in your life regardless if they are biologically related to you or not. Don't let abusers and evil people get away simply because you share more DNA with them than with most of the world.**

 **Poor Sierra and Skyfire... They are stuck with these insane Seekers. XD**

 **Ugh... We'll see how long it takes me to do the next chapter... Spring Break is week after next and I'm just going to spend it working on my senior project... And die from having so much homework...**

 **Let me know what you guys think, share, comment, draw fanart, hug a puppy, GO VEGAN, do some donuts in your car, send me virtual hugs, run around shirtless in WalMart... Idk... I'm going back to homework and dying...**


	19. Being Diagnosed

**Chapter 19**

I didn't tell the Seekerlets. I didn't want to worry them at the time that the hierarchy had changed. They had enough going on in their lives that they didn't need to stress over me and Skywarp fighting. And I wasn't sure how long I would even be able to hold this position before Skywarp challenged and possibly defeated me. He beat me once, why couldn't he do it again? Then again… I'm not the same Seeker I was then, and I would only continue to change.

I gave Skywarp space for two orbital cycles after our fight. Needing to heal from our wounds, and letting tension calm down. On the third night, I decided to finally strengthen the bond.

"And you're not going to fight with your sister, right?" "I asked of Rogue as I tucked her into her berth, wrapping her tightly in blankets to ensure my smallest princess stayed warm.

"I don't fight with her!" Rogue defended herself, hugging her stuffed toy of a courgaraider.

"You keep her up all night…" I kissed her brow. "Get some recharge. Please. And don't online me tonight because Sierra isn't recharging herself. She's an adult and can take care of herself."

"Then why do you tell us to take care of her and she can't live on her own?"

"Because… Sierra can do many things on her own minus survive. Go to recharge, little cyberduck."

"I'm not a duck!"

I faintly smiled. "You're my little cyberduckling." I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against hers before turning to face Tempest who was on her berth. Tempest and Rogue had to share a room because we didn't have another. Skywarp's sons had been sharing a room all this time and if they hadn't killed each other surely my two youngest wouldn't either. At least, I hoped so… Little femmlings certainly have more attitude than little mechlings… "And you get a good recharge as well." I kissed Tempest on the brow, adjusting her blanket so it was just perfect. I'm not OCD about too much, but when it comes to tucking my daughters into berth, everything has to be just so or I can't recharge myself. I won't even let their sire tuck them in because he doesn't get the blanket adjusted _precisely_ the way I do it. If he tucks in the femmlings, I will crawl out of his arms to get up and re-tuck them all back in. That's how bad I am about this. And I have _zero_ shame admitting to my problem.

"I'll try." Tempest grunted.

"Once Zephyr moves out you'll get your own room." I replied, but then stopped because the thought of my eldest, or _any_ of my daughters moving out and living under a different roof than mine just… I start to have anxiety attacks. And now I had to go see Zephyr. "Recharge, both of you." I kissed Tempest on the cheekplates, turned off the lights, and closed the door as I walked out. I went to Zephyr's room and palmed the door open.

Zephyr was already recharging on her berth, Sierra cuddled against her. Ever since the trap to catch Crosscut, Sierra refused to leave Zephyr's side. And I felt better knowing someone was there for her when I wasn't around.

I closed the door and went to Skywarp's room. I vented a sigh, then palmed the door open. Skywarp perked his wings, looking up at me as he was watching TV. I closed the door, then slowly approached him. He watched me, his wings lowering as I neared. I stopped before him, hesitated. then got onto his lap, straddling him before kissing him on the lip plates, wrapping my arms around his helm. He raised the volume on the TV, so that little audio receptors wouldn't hear, then set the remote down. His servos roved over my body, feeling my sides, pleasuring them. They squeezed and groped my breastplates before doing the same to my aft. Our glossas were soon in each others mouths, our passion growing as we hungrily kissed and groped each other.

"Take me." I managed to say between kisses.

He ceased his kissing, wings lowering. "Me take you…?" He asked quietly.

I faintly smiled. "Yes, Warp. I want you in me. I want you in control of me when you take me."

"But… You beat me…"

I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his. "Love… We're equals. I want to be your equal, not your master. And when we bond… I like it when you're in control. You know I make a terrible dominant during interface." I kissed him again. "Take me. Do whatever you want with me." I sexily smiled. "I probably deserve a punishment."

"Really?" His wings perked.

"Really." I hugged him, burying my faceplates in the crook of his neck. "I want you. As I've always had you."

He smiled, then teleported us to the berth where he unceremoniously dumped me before giving my aft a hard smack. "Stay there, princess." He then teleported to his closet and started to grab the kink supplies.

I'll just explain this now. While I became more dominant out of the berthroom, in it I still had to be the submissive. Even now, as the Alpha, I can't really have fun as the dominant. I need to be the submissive, put into my place, and spiked. It's just is my fetish. The submissive who is the interface slave, beaten, chained, insulted, slapped around, and humiliated. I somehow developed this kink due to my abuse over the stellar cycles and it just has stuck all of my life, and has gotten worse. Way worse. Especially after I became Alpha it escalated. But I digress.

While I can talk a big game out of the berthroom, I'm the glitch once in it. And while I do like to spike my trinemates, I just enjoy being spiked more. Not just with the whole submissive thing, but I feel like there's more sensation when my valve is in use over my spike. I much rather be the bottom, being penetrated, and completely helpless than to be in control of the interface. And then once it's over I'm back to being the afthelm bossing everyone around and getting slag done. And this new bonding experience with Skywarp, as his dominant, was the beginning to this new Seeker that I am now.

He quickly returned and forced me onto all fours before pressing my face to the berthtop so my aft was left in the air. He manacled by wrists together behind my knees, blindfolded me, and shoved a gag into my mouth, tying it tight. He rubbed over my aft with a servo, then tapped my codpiece. I opened it for him, allowing him to very roughly rub my outer sensory node and send waves of lust through me. I moaned, peds kicking a little as my wings perked.

He kept going, sending electrical currents into me, relaxing me, arousing me, pleasuring me. I loved it. Then, it was suddenly replaced by a hard, stinging lash across my rear from a metal cable. I jumped a little, taken by surprise, but unable to move. Then the blows kept raining down harder and faster, the pain so much worse with my other senses blocked. I was soon yelping from each blow, jerking wings, clutching digits, and kicking peds. He would pause after every ten or so lashes to rub my valve, grope my body, then resume the beating. And he really got into it. He probably gave me about a hundred lashes with the cable before using a paddle on me, then a switch. It was a lot, and I was soon crying from it.

When I was enough of a sobbing mess he removed the manacles, blindfold, and gag, pushed me onto my back, and got on top of me. He kissed me, my sobs lost in his mouth as he held me close. I didn't get a moment to recover before his spike was in me and him pounding away at me. He madly kissed me, holding my shoulders as he went all out. I grabbed his arms, watching him through coolant filled optics, the pain and pleasure mixing together in some awful, wonderful experience I hated and loved.

"I love you." He said softly to me, smiling down at me as he kept humping.

I wiped at my optics. "I, oh, love you, too."

"You kinda suck at this whole dominant thing."

"I just want, hah, us to be happy, oh, mmm, and get alone. We have responsibilities, oh, to our creations and each other. Hierarchy comes secondary, if at all."

"For a prince, you're certainly far from acting like you have any authority."

"I just want to, oh, raise my daughters and take care of my trine. I don't want leadership. I want to be happy. Hah, I want to one orbital cycle see my daughters all grown with their own trines, and be accepted and loved by my trinemates."

"I accept and love you, Scree. Even if you're kinda weird." He smirked before kissing me. His wings perked. "What's wrong?" He ceased in his thrusting to perk his wings.

"I don't feel like Thundercracker does…" I said quietly.

"Thundercracker is complicated."

"He's not… He's easy to understand… We listen and obey him, or else we're beaten. We're just meant for him to own and breed with."

"He's not breeding me. He may never breed me again."

" _I'm_ just meant to be bred."

"I never understood why you're opposed to being bred."

"I'm not opposed to being bred. Just… When he chooses to do it and how many times. I don't want to be like my aunts and uncles having twenty plus each. And I just want to be done with my school, have my career job, and raise one at a time so I can enjoy them fully, not be overworked, and have less."

"Why do you want less? You have the perfect body for bearing creations."

"Why does my body's physical makeup define what I'm meant to do with my life? I want to be a scientists. Functionists say I can't because I have the body of a warrior. Because Seekers are built for combat and killing, not studying and learning. Yet my processor differs from what my body was meant to do. And my processor, my spark, is who I am. You could put them in another body and it will still be me. My body doesn't define who I am, what I'm supposed to do, or my purpose. My spark does. I do. And I just want… All I wanted was to be me. There's enough Seekers just living at home, being bred repeatedly by their trineleaders, and have no say in their life. Why must I be yet another one of them?"

"He allowed you to go to the Science Academy. We've been living in Iacon for stellar cycles as you worked on your education and getting your career job. You are living differently from most traditional Seekers."

"Am I? Am I really? Because I'm still being bred against my will, beaten constantly, I can't leave the apartment without Thundercracker's approval first, I can't even call my carrier to wish her a happy emergence cycle without first getting permission from our trineleader. How is that 'different' from most?"

"Starscream…" He vented a sigh. "I don't have all the answers, and I don't know how to give you the life you want. I just know that I love you, I support you, and I just want our family to be safe and as happy as we can get it. You grew up in a palace bossing around guards and living in riches. I grew up being beaten and almost killed multiple times by my uncle. I had a blanket with more holes than cloth, and leftover parts from the dining room table as my toys. And the only friend, the only person I could talk to or feel safe with was my carrier. My carrier who was kept chained by his neck in a locked room, unable to even bathe himself, and our only entertainment was each other and watching birds out the window." He paused. "Thundercracker isn't perfect. But compared to what I had before… this is living in riches and being fully accepted and loved. It may not be perfect for some, maybe most, but it's the best I've ever gotten in my life. I don't like the beatings, but him giving me a one once a decacycle for me acting up is something I will gladly take verses going back to the life my carrier is still living. I mean," He paused. "You could fly out that door right now and never come back and survive just fine. My carrier can't even do that. He's so sick he can't stay airborne, and his frame is so messed up he wouldn't be able to live long enough to get a job, or a place to live, or anything. He's completely dependent on my uncles because Solarstrike ensured he would be. Thundercracker has never done anything to make you dependent on him or make you sick. Even when… When he did chain you he still was ensuring you were refueled, clean, and healthy. He's not perfect, but he's a lot better than what we could have gotten stuck with."

"I know it could have been worse… We could have Steelwing as our trineleader…" I vented a sigh. "Don't cry. I'm going to cry if you start to."

"Just thinking about my carrier upsets me." He wiped at his optics. "I had promised him before I left that I would save him. And stellar cycles later I still haven't fulfilled that promise. He's still suffering and I'm here having everything I had dreamed about having, and getting to interface the two mechs that I love more than anything."

"Maybe something will happen and we'll save him. I'll help you."

"Promise?"

"I do."

He wiped at his optics, calming down some. "Love you."

I smirked, pulling him down for a kiss. "Finish me. We need some happiness, now."

He faintly smiled as he nodded. "And huggles."

"Lots of huggles."

He resumed thrusting into me, us kissing and hugging each other close. We only overloaded once before cuddling in berth and recharging. In the morning, we bonded again, just slow and loving, just like we used to when things were normal. And then we just cuddled, giggling, and loving on each other, needing these simple, quiet moments in our lives to get us through the chaos all around.

* * *

"Stop it!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"Quit being such a stupid jerk!"

"I'm not a stupid jerk! _You're_ the stupid jerk!"

"Am not!"

Are, too!"

"Not!"

"You are!"

"Give me it back! Argh!"

"Stop, you moron!"

"Ouch! CARRIER!"

"Shut up!"

"CARRIER! Skyblast hit me!"

"I DID _NOT_!"

"HE DID, TOO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"YOU SHUT UP!"

"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!"

"FRAG OFF, DAWN!"

"STUPID WHORE!"

"CARRIER! Tempest said a bad word!"

"You did, too!"

"AH! Don't throw my tablet! CARRIER!"

"CARRIER!"

"CARRIER!"

Kill. Me. Please.

I rubbed over my faceplates, having listened to those three fighting for over a breem now. Why didn't I break it up before it escalated to them physically hitting each other and throwing heavy objects around? Because I was in Skywarp's room having a breakdown and couldn't handle anything more, nor let my daughters see me like this. Maybe it was more of a panic attack. I don't know. I just know I found myself bawling my optics out at random, unable to get myself to move or do anything.

I think all the stress was just getting to me, along with my mental health being nothing but a chaotic, catastrophic mess, just was waiting for me to have this break down, panic attack, whatever you would call it. I was trembling a lot, having trouble cycling air as I hyperventilated, and just cried. It took me a while to calm down at any level, and even still I couldn't get myself to actually be a carrier and stop the Seekerlets from fighting and breaking things. But, thankfully, I had someone to be an acting sire while Thundercracker was away.

"What the hell is going on!? You do _not_ throw things at each other or hit one another! Go to your rooms, _all_ of you, and _stay there_!" I heard Skyfire roaring at them. It was so rare hearing him angry.

"You're not my sire!" Skyblast screamed.

"I might as well be until he gets his sorry aft out of prison! To you room, _now_! Or else you'll learn how non-Seekers discipline their young!"

There was the sound of clopping thruster heels, then slamming doors. After a bit I heard those large ped falls of my best friend just before the door hissed open and the shuttle entered. He closed the door behind him, then sat beside me on the couch.

"Why are you crying, love?" He asked quietly, not even hesitating to pull me onto his lap and hug me close.

"I don't know." I wiped at my optics, beginning to calm down with him there. "I-I just… I just started feeling really stressed, then like I wanted to cry, and then… I just lost control."

"Breakdowns happen. Nothing to be ashamed of." He kissed me, stroking my arm to comfort me.

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for."

"I should have been the one to control my creations."

"Star, it's fine. I can handle them. Kind of fun being a creator to them. When they're not being punks they are really awesome Seekerlets. I love them all."

"Take them and I'll kill you."

"You are so overly protective of them. I love it." He kissed me on the lip plates, and I allowed it.

"I just wish I wasn't breaking down like that…"

"You need to see a professional, Star. Get diagnosed, get some programs, and see a therapist. Zephyr said she's feeling better since she started."

"We don't have the Shanix…"

"I'll pay for you to get tested and any programs prescribed to you. And if you decide on therapy I'll see what I can do."

"Don't waste your Shanix on me…"

"Starscream, I want to and I will. I can set up the appointment if you don't want to."

I was silent a moment, thinking. "You sure it will help me?"

"I promise it will."

I did want these breakdowns to end, to not feel suicidal and the need to take circuit boosters. To be normal, like everyone else so I could go about life without being so sad and sick, and to raise my daughters as a carrier should. In the end, everything in my life came down to what was best for my little femmlings. They always have and always will come first. And if this would benefit them in even the slightest, then I as their carrier must do whatever I can.

"Okay…" I said quietly. "Y-you can make the appointment."

He faintly smiled. "I will. Thanks, Star. This will really help you to-"

He stopped when the door opened and Rogue rushed in with coolant pouring from her optics as she cried.

"CARRIER!" She shrieked in that Primus-forsaken high-pitched vocalizer only sparklings could make to ensure their creators could not ignore them.

I got off of Skyfire's lap, scooped up my youngest, and kissed her on the cheekplates as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Oh, my precious princess. What happened, sweetie?"

"I-I fell d-down a-and hit my helm!" She wailed, a servo on her helm where it had struck the table leg.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. Carrier falls down sometimes, too. It's never any fun." I returned to Skyfire and sat back on his lap, letting him wrap his arms around me in a hug. Rogue kept crying as she hugged me, and I kissed her helm to make her feel better.

As she calmed down, I was able to just relax, holding my sparkling, kind of wishing she was still young enough to be nursing. I loved that bonding time with my creations, but it was never to last. She played with my outer cooling fans, wiping at her optics, finally getting over her crying. Skyfire chose this time to hug me a little closer and kiss me on the neck cables so lovingly, gentle, reminding me how much he still wanted me.

That kiss, his arms around me, and a sparkling on my lap… Made me think of how I would sit on Thundercracker's lap with him holding me, kissing me, and our newest daughter snuggled against me. But this wasn't Thundercracker, this was Skyfire. And… I wasn't opposed to playing out this same scene only with the sparkling in question being his. A sparkling between the two of us.

Did I love him like that, to that degree to want to have sparklings with him? Yes… I sorta did. But I was trined… I could never be with him like that or breed with him. I would so get killed by Thundercracker.

"You're an amazing carrier." Skyfire said quietly, stroking the top of my helm before kissing it. "They're lucky to have you as theirs."

I faintly smiled. "I try my best. I-it can be a challenge, sometimes. But, they're worth it." I held Rogue's servo, studying how little it was compared to mine.

"Do you ever regret him forcing you to have them?"

I vented a sigh. "Never. Having them has been a blessing. I love my daughters more than anything in this world. I can't imagine not having them. I need them with me." I paused. "I didn't like being forced to have them when he did it. I wanted to wait. I just wish I had them after I graduated and had my career job. It's so much to have had them now while I'm still studying, and… I feel unprepared. It was just forced on me so quickly. I feel like I'm too young. I'm not even a vorn old… Yet, here I am with four daughters… And when he gets out he'll probably put another in me. And I don't know how many more after that. I just have to submit…"

"You don't have to."

"I have to. He's my trineleader." I kissed Rogue on the cheekplates. "I have to just obey him."

Skyfire rolled his optics. "If you won't leave him, why don't you just become the trineleader?"

I looked back at him. "I would get the aft beating of the vorn if I attempted. It would _be_ a vorn long beating! No. I'm not stupid."

"You beat Skywarp."

"Skywarp isn't Thundercracker."

"Don't get hostile."

"Don't tell me to leave or attempt suicide." I slumped back against his chassis, agitated now.

His servos stroked my wings, trying to sooth me. "You get mad so easy."

I elbowed him hard in the abdominal plates.

"Urk! And so quick to violence." He grabbed my wrists and crossed them over my chestplates as he hugged me tightly, securing me in place.

I smirked. "Only towards you."

"Yeah?" He kissed me on the neck cables. "Are you my violent, little Seeker?"

"I'm your worst nightmare. Let me go so I can punch your fat face!" I began to wiggle.

"I'm definitely not letting you go now." He kissed me on the cheekplates, just holding me tighter. I snapped at him, denta clicking, growling my engine playfully. He chuckled. "Vicious, little turbofox. Don't bite me. Hey! Stop." He snapped when I almost managed to bite his servos. "Primus, you are something else."

"I'm fabulous!"

"Yes. Yes, you are."

"Rogue, help carrier. Bite him!"

"No, don't bite me. Tickle your carrier! I'll hold him!"

"NO! Don't betray me, my sparkling!"

Rogue laughed, her little winglets attempting to flutter. She, like the traitorous scum she is, did side with Skyfire and helped him tickle me. He held my wrist with one servo, his arm keeping me in place as his free servo tickled my abdominal plates. I guffawed as I struggled to get away, but also trying not to accidentally kick my daughter off my lap.

The afthelms stopped after a bit, and Skyfire took my chin and kissed me on the lip plates. I, like an idiot, kissed him back, wings fluttering. Sometimes it's hard to control myself when my feelings for someone was that strong. He pressed his brow against mine, smiling at me, savoring this moment when he had broken down my barriers enough to see the real me. I let him have this victory, nuzzling my olfactory sensor against his. He kissed me on the lip plates once more, and sneaked his glossa inside. I allowed it, wrapping my arms around his helm, and ignored the servo sliding down my side to grip my waist. I heard his cooling fans whirling, I felt my valve lubricating as it tightened. My body wanted him. I honestly would have told Rogue to get lost and let him have at me, but… I was trying to keep whatever honor I had. Maybe I was a lost cause at this point, but for the illusion I could keep for my daughters and my trinemates, I had to. They didn't know I was unclean or my honor taken from me long ago. They still thought I had something still. And my younger daughters… They still didn't see anything bad in me.

What was I doing? Just letting him kiss me and hold me like this was adultery. I was bringing more dishonor on my trine. I was just a whore. A useless, unclean, honorless whore who's only purpose was to be kept locked in a brothel for grounders to use, chained to a berth, wings clipped, and trine-less. I lied to get this trine I was only hurting and dishonoring.

"Stop." I weakly pushed him away, my optics lowering so I couldn't see his faceplates.

"What's wrong?" He perked his wings.

"I'm filth. You deserve better than unclean, adultering filth like me." I swallowed. "I've dishonored my trine… I've defiled you and my trinemates… Why am I still here? Thunder should have ended me long ago… I don't deserve any of this. I lied to everyone…"

Skyfire vented a sigh as he pulled me back onto his lap and hugged me. "Starscream, you need to stop telling yourself these lies."

"They're not lies…"

"Star… You're perfection. You're amazing, no matter what happened to you."

"I'll never have my honor… He took it… And there's no way of ever finding him again…"

"No one has your honor but you."

"The ones who claim you take your honor. You have some of mine. You claimed me as yours. A lot."

"Then you have my honor. As well as the honor of Skywarp and Thundercracker. You have something."

"It's not the same…"

"Starscream… What happened to you was horrible. No one should ever suffer like that. But look at you. You're so strong, brave, smart, beautiful… And you have four of the sweetest, most amazing little femmlings ever. I know it hurts. I know it still haunts you. I know you cry, and are scared, and confused… But that was in the past. It's time we helped you move past that. It won't be easy. But I'll help you. And it starts with you getting tested."

I wiped at the coolant leaking from my optics. "Why can I never have a normal conversation with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean things always get so damn emotional and deep and dramatic…."

"Because you know you can trust me." He kissed me on the cheekplates. "Because I'll always be there for you no matter who touches you, what you do, who you become, or whatever hell may await us. I will always be by your side. You'll always be my Starscream, my best friend, and I'll protect you, fight for you, and never hurt you."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He smiled, kissing me again.

And I'll be honest, I did cry writing his words. He didn't keep his promise. The Autobots ensured to it.

I leaned back against him, wishing that things would be so much simpler. Why did I have to want him romantically? Why couldn't everything just be platonic?

"I better give this one a bath." I said softly, picking up Rogue before sliding off Skyfire's lap.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later, love."

"Yeah, later." I started for the door. "Rogue, say, 'bye-bye!'" I waved at Skyfire so she could copy. "Bye-bye!"

Rogue smiled, waving at Skyfire. "Bye-bye, sire!" Her little wings fluttered.

My wings quickly lowered, feeling embarrassed at first, then saddened that she didn't have her real sire here to call that.

"I'm sorry." I said quickly, walking out and going to the washroom, wiping the coolant tears away as my other servo hugged my youngest princess closer.

Skyfire's wings were perked and his optics a little wide. Then he sheepishly smiled, feeling his spark warm at that. He then thought about himself being a sire… And me the carrier.

* * *

Well, I found myself in an office, anxiously sitting in the corner with my wings low, getting sidelong glares from other grounders in the waiting room, and feeling like if I said a word I would get an aft beating for upsetting someone. I was so scared. I had never done anything like this, I knew Thundercracker would disapprove, and I hadn't even told Skywarp or the Seekerlets what I was doing. I just knew that if my trinemates or any Seeker found out I would be judged and maybe bullied or shunned because they would assume I was acting like a brat over being punished by my trineleader, or suspect I was hiding something, or both. Or maybe I was a weakling… I don't know. A lot was going through my processor. So much I was trembling.

"Shhh," Skyfire held my servo, his thumb stroking the back of it. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm right here." He smiled at me.

I quickly nodded, but didn't feel convinced. I instead climbed onto his lap and hugged him, needing someone big to not make me feel so small. I just got a lot of strange looks. Grounders never were so cuddly, especially not in public. They thought it was "indecent" and practically interface.

"Seeker Starscream?" A vocalizer sounded.

I perked my wings, looking over at the mech who had said my designation.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Cress. Do you want to come in back to my office?" He smiled.

"Go on, Starscream." Skyfire gently pushed me off his lap. "I'll wait right here for you."

I faced Skyfire, shaking my helm, giving his servo a tug. My wings were as low as they could go, and I felt everyone's optics on me.

"I can't come with you. I would if I could. Everything will be fine. You know I would never bring you here if you weren't safe. You know that, right?"

I slowly nodded, looking down. He hugged me, then gently pushed me to go with the doctor. I told myself to stop acting like a sparkling and followed, keeping my wings low.

"Just down this hallway." Cress directed as he led the way.

I followed, nervous about all of this and praying that my trine wouldn't find out. And hating myself for being so scared. Why was I scared all the time? I'm a Seeker. I shouldn't be afraid like this. But, I was also a submissive and needed my trineleader to protect me. My job wasn't to do the protecting, his was. And these grounders may end up attacking me because… Grounders hate Seekers.

"And just take a seat right there." Cress gestured to the couch in his office.

I did, perking my wings as I looked around. His framed diplomas on the wall, images of his family, mate, and creations on his desk, a datapadshelf with datapads on psychology and various mental illnesses, as well as some toys for sparklings for when a little one came in with their creator. There was a small crystal tree in a corner, and a few statures of cybercats.

"Okay, Starscream…" He looked through a file on his computer. "Do you prefer to go by Starscream or do you have any nicknames?"

I wrung my servos. "Um… I-I go by Star." I said quietly, wings drooping again.

He grinned. "Star it is. So, have you ever had therapy before?"

"Negative, sir."

"No need to call me 'sir.' Just Cress is fine."

"Apologies."

"No need to apologize. And no need to feel so tense. There's nothing formal or scary about any of this. So, have you ever gone in for a mental checkup before? Any medical treatments, medication, anything?"

I bit my lower lip plate. "I-I… I have attempted suicide once… Th-the doctor prescribed an anti-depressant. That's been the only time."

"Yes, I see it listed here on your form. Did you take it?"

I shook my helm.

"Why not?"

"I… I was scared to."

"Why were you scared?"

"I-I've had addiction problems in the past… I'm scared of medication possibly m-making me addicted to it."

"The program your doctor prescribed to you is not addictive. Did you talk to him about it?"

"H-he was aware of my… past and said he was prescribing me something safe, but I… I didn't take it."

"Was that the only reason you didn't take it?"

I hesitated, then shook my helm. "I-I don't want to embarrass my trinemates or my daughters."

"Why would you embarrass them?"

"Just… That their carrier had to take anti-depressants… It would be telling everyone I wasn't happy with my life, o-or my trinemates, or my daughters…"

"Anti-depressants don't mean you're not happy with your life or family. Many times simply having creations can throw off the programs inside our processors and cause depression. So anti-depressants help fix those. My partner, after he had our second he had to take some anti-depressants for a few decacycles. It's very common. Sometimes you get depressed at the lost of a friend or family member, maybe even work can cause it. But none of that means it's your family."

I remained silent, studying my servos.

"So, Star, what we're going to do… Is…" He started to pull up a file on his computer screen. "We are going to get a brief history of your past. So I can start piecing together the cause of your depression. Then, I have a few tests for you to do. A couple are self evaluations, then an ink blotch test. It's all fairly easy. Once we do that, you'll be free to go and I'll have your results in about an orn."

"Okay." I nodded.

"Let's start with your brief history." He got in position to type. "How was your sparklinghood? What are your creators like? How did they raise you? All of that."

"Um… M-my sire, Skycutter, is the Alpha Seeker. He rules the Seekers and owns most of the city-state of Vos. My carrier is one of his breeding mates, Moonlight. I was her third creation. I have six full siblings and over two hundred half siblings."

"I'm sorry, what?" He looked back at me.

"My sire is busy."

"How do you have over two hundred siblings?"

"How do you have any number of siblings? Interface."

"That wasn't what I met."

"Oh… Well, Seeker society is a little different…"

I explained to him a lot about Seeker society, and told him about my trine, how they treated me, my punishments, Thunder being put in jail and how I had to step up, how Thundercracker forced all of my daughters on me, and how much everything stresses me out. And a lot of the bad things that happened to me. Of course, I never mentioned Brakelight.

After he compiled all of that, he had me take a test where I had to rate myself from 1 to 10. Basically, what I believed were my strengths, weaknesses, etcetera. Then, I did another test similar to it, mostly about dreams, how I feel in public places, socializing, and stuff like that. Finally, it was the ink blotch test, which I kept seeing negative things, and animals… and explosives. I saw a lot in each one. He just wrote down everything, and talked to me in such a gentle, easy-going vocalizer that I felt like I could trust him. It took a while, but that wall was being broken, and my wings soon weren't drooping.

I liked him, and was able to smile at the end.

"And he's all set." Cress announced when he released me back to Skyfire.

I hugged my friend, wings fluttering as he stood up. "Thank you. So, when will he get the results?"

"In an orn. I'll be going through everything, and it can take a little bit to ensure an accurate result. Once I have them I'll call you to schedule an appointment to hear the results."

"Sounds good. Thank you so much, Dr. Cress." Skyfire smiled as he took my servo.

"You're more than welcome. It was nice meeting you, Star."

I was surprised. No one ever thought it was nice to meet a Seeker. I wasn't sure what to say, so quickly used Skyfire as a shield to hide behind.

"He's shy." Skyfire said quickly. I'm not sure if he was embarrassed or what. He led me out of the office and outside before speaking. "How did it go?"

"Alright." I shrugged, still holding his servo, watching my peds as I carefully kept them on a yellow line painted on the street.

"You were really brave. I'm so proud of you." Skyfire kissed me on the cheekplates. I just smiled sheepishly, not looking at him. "And for being so brave, I'm taking you to get something yummy."

That made me look at him, wings perking. "Yummy?"

"Mhmm." He grinned.

"I need to get my daughters and nephews something, too! And Warp!"

"We will. Come on. I know just the place."

He certainly pampered me with all the desserts he got me, my sparkles, my nephews, and Skywarp. I even took something to my trineleader when I was able to visit him next.

And as promised, in an orn the psychiatrist called me back and I made an appointment to get my results. I was so nervous going in, but Skyfire was allowed to go with me when I asked, and he held my servo throughout it.

"Nice seeing you again, Star." Cress greeted with a smile. "You ready for the results?"

I nodded.

"Well, after looking everything over… You do have depression and high anxiety. But, I believe you already guessed that. Seeing how you suffer from so many nightmares, and the severity of your anxiety, you also have PTSD. This stems from the beatings you received from your trineleader, and from trauma that happened in your sparklinghood. The trauma you suffer from is physical abuse, sexual abuse, psychological maltreatment, and domestic violence. While the anxiety is a product of your trauma, you specifically have social anxiety disorder, and you borderline panic disorder, but it's more still under the symptoms of your PTSD. And your depression is major depression." He paused. "I recommend that you be seeing a therapist four times an orn and be on an anti-depressant."

I didn't know what to say. Was this real? Was everything he said true? Did I really have all of those problems? Was I broken? I couldn't tell anyone I was mentally disabled. What would they think of me? Seekers don't have mental disabilities! We're warriors! We fight and kill and are unaffected by it!

Right?

"Could you write up something so we can give it to his academy for the disabilities?" Skyfire asked.

"Yes, I can do that right now."

"Thank you."

Let my academy know I was disabled? So they could take pity on me and give me pity grades? Seriously?

But it was done and I soon found myself walking out holding my results and paperwork to turn in to my school against my chestplates as Skyfire followed behind, a servo on my shoulder. He made a call and scheduled us to go straight over to the Science Academy and get my disability forms all filled out with them. I didn't speak, processing everything. I was lost in thought, not remembering anything of where I was until I found myself in an office on my campus getting my disability forms filled and filed, then finding myself handed more datapads to hand to my professors with my specific needs, offer me more time on tests, extensions, someone to help with notes, and other slag.

It was a lot to take in at once. I just followed Skyfire around and did what he wanted until we finally got home. I thanked him for helping me, then spent the rest of the orbital cycle with my daughters. I managed to relax and have fun playing with them. My little princesses always made me feel better. Maybe… Maybe Thundercracker was right about making me have them when I did. Maybe I was wrong about the best time for me to be a carrier and he actually helped me. I'll never know the right answer to that. But, looking back my life would have been so much different if he had waiting until I said I was ready. I may have never become the Alpha. My daughters changed my life so much and helped make me who I am this orbital cycle.

After I tucked all my princesses into berth, I joined Skywarp in his room.

"So, how about some snuggling?" He giggled as he lied in berth.

"I'm tired…" I said slowly as I lied down beside him.

His wings lowered. "What's up? Something happen?"

"No… Just one of those orbital cycles."

"Interface won't help?"

"Doubt it." I turned away from him and offlined my optics.

He hugged me from behind. "You can recharge. Can I still get in there?"

I rolled my optics. "You're insatiable."

"Please?" His wings fluttered, nuzzling his olfactory sensor against my nape as his servos groped my breastplates.

I vented a sigh. "Whatever. Just don't make a mess back there or get anything on my face."

"Yay!" He kissed me, then pushed me over and went to work.

I just allowed him access and soon found myself moaning as he enjoyed himself. I still didn't feel in the mood, just thinking about those results and what it meant for me, for my trine, and for my little femmlings. Was I broken? Did I fail as a Seeker? Was this just more dishonor on my trine? Was I just a weak, overly dramatic brat who needed to grow up and learn to be a good submissive to my trineleader? Or, did this confirm Skyfire's lectures that I was being abused, enslaved, and raped?

One thing that was for certain is that I never did go to therapy, nor took anti-depressants. Don't be like me. Actually help yourself. I didn't know better then and I was scared. Do what you need to to take care of your mental health. I never did and it caused me so many problems throughout my life. And made my life harder than what it should have been.

* * *

Two stellar cycles passed, and I found myself barely able to control my emotions as my eldest approached in her graduation gown.

"What do you think?" She smiled, the blue gown covering most of her, and the graduation cap tilted on her helm.

"I think I'm so proud of you." I managed to force out, wires constricting in my throat as I held myself together. "M-my little princess… Graduating with honors. Primus, this orbital cycle came far too fast." I wiped at the coolant beginning to leak out.

"Carrier, I'm just graduating high school. I'm not going anywhere." She hugged me.

"You're growing up too fast. I remember when you were still inside of me. Kicking me in the morning to online me, a-and kicking when I moved too much… And making me have a harder time with cleaning my waste tank."

"I don't need to know that."

"You made me so sick, and Skywarp said I smelled like-"

"STOP. No more. Why do you always have to embarrass me with stories about waste and carrying?"

I faintly smirked. "You were pretty stinky when you were a sparkling."

"Ugh, carrier…"

"Carrying has it's ugly side… Be aware of them if you ever have your own." I kissed her on the cheekplates. "But the reward makes it all worth it." I cupped her cheekplates and made her look up at me. "You may have been forced on me, I didn't feel ready, and I was so, so scared… But I'm now thankful he did force it on me. Because I got to meet you sooner than I probably would have. And you and your sisters are the greatest blessings in my life." I paused. "I just wish your sire was here to see this. It's not right he's missing the graduation of his eldest."

"He has to learn the error of his ways." She said firmly.

"He's your sire… My mate. He gave you to me. You may not like him, you may be mad at him for things he's done… But he's still your sire, my mate, and we owe a lot to him. Such as you even being here."

"He hurt you. He may be my sire, but he hurt my carrier and that's something I will never forgive him for. just because he gave you me doesn't negate all the wrongs he's done against you and Skywarp."

I vented a sigh. "Giving me you is reason enough for me to forgive him for everything else. Let's not argue. This is a happy orbital cycle." I forced a smile. "My eldest princess is leaving one chapter of her life behind to start another. After this, we'll help you get a job, a-and learn how to take care of yourself out there so when you're kicked out you'll be prepared. Or, you just live with your carrier forever and ever and ever and ever-"

"Or, carrier comes live with me and we rule the world." She fluttered her wings.

"I might take you up on that offer." I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against her.

I was startled by a flash of purple followed by a cackle.

"THERE SHE IS!" Skywarp hugged Zephyr. "Damn, femme, you looking awesome! Doesn't she?"

"She looks okay." Storm shrugged. He was already almost as tall as me, clearly taking after Thundercracker.

Skyblast just hugged his sister, his wings fluttering.

"Ready for pictures, Z?" Skywarp inquired.

"Yes, before relatives get here and make it crazy," She grunted.

"Skyfire has the camera. Where do you think would be a good spot?"

"By the stairs, against that wall. The lighting is good there." I replied.

"Meet ya there." Skywarp suddenly teleported himself and his sons away.

I took Zephyr's servo and led my princess out of her room and down the stairs. Her sisters were waiting with Skyfire, and Rogue squealed.

"Zephyr looks awesome!" She proclaimed loudly. "I want to take picture!" She reached up at Skyfire for the camera.

"It's heavy, sweetie. Go to Z and I'll get a picture of you with her." Skyfire replied.

"No!"

"Rogue, Skyfire is taking a picture of carrier. Do you want to be in it?" I called over to her. She _had_ to be in every picture with me. She got very pissed if she wasn't. Why? I have no idea. Maybe one orbital cycle I'll understand the processor of a 3 stellar cycle old.

Rogue ran over to me and demanded to be picked up. I did so, placing her on my hip, and she proceeded to make funny faces for the camera. I wasn't going to fight it. One orbital cycle I'll miss those funny faces, so I rather preserve them in every picture I could than spoil her fun just to regret it when she was a sulking adolescent. Or worst, an adult living away from me with her own family and rarely visiting.

"Okay, on three. One, two, three!" Skyfire said as he took a picture of me with Zephyr.

"Threeeeee!" Rogue held the note as she smiled, showing all her sparkling denta.

We took quite a few pictures of me with Zephyr, my daughters all together, my nephews with Zephyr, Zephyr with Skywarp and then with Skyfire, and had some fun before…. Heesh… In-laws showed up.

Skywarp opened the door when the chime went off. "Oh, hi."

"That's all the greeting you offer? You lack such discipline." Steelwing grunted before entering, his trinemates in formation behind him. "Ah, there is my granddaughter. Look at you." He smiled, holding his arms out.

"Hey, grandsire." Zephyr forced a smile. She didn't like Steelwing either, but she knew better than to piss him off.

He hugged her. "Congrats, Zephyr. You bring yourself honor with this great accomplishment."

"Thanks, grandsire." She hugged him back, then hugged Borealis.

"I'm so proud of you!" Borealis fluttered her wings. "I remember when your sire graduated high school. He had honors as well. Taking after him so much."

"Thanks, grandcarrier." She then hugged Gale.

Steelwing soon was hugging and talking with the other Seekerlets, thankfully ignoring me for now. I stepped behind Skywarp, not feeling safe. Last time I saw him he was training me.

"It's a shame Thundercracker isn't here." Steelwing grunted. "I told him he needs to keep these submissives of his inline. I can only imagine how much disciplining he'll have to do the moment he is released." He locked his optics on me. "Hopefully give you the flogging you desperately need."

Why couldn't he just keep his nastiness to himself? I know you hate me with every piston and bolt in your frame. I don't need to be constantly reminded…

"Be nice to my carrier." Zephyr snapped.

"I suppose I should be a little since he was the one to carry you." Steelwing gave a dismissive wave, turning back to his grandcreations.

It wasn't long before someone I actually wanted to see arrived.

"Hey, my handsome mechling!" Carrier smiled as she hugged me.

"Hey, carrier." I fluttered my wings, hugging her back.

"You need to eat more. You're so skinny."

"Where's sire?"

"He couldn't make it. Busy." She absent-mindedly tugged at the collar around her neck. "But I brought some other people."

She stepped aside and several of my full siblings walked in.

"Hey, shortstuff!" Hellfire hugged me, taller than me now, and a lot stronger. "I love you, you dumbaft!"

"Ow, my spinal strut!" I struggled to get away.

He let me go, then pinched my wing. "Been a while since we got together. Next time you'll see me I'll be on my own. Sire is kicking me out in a decacycle."

"Enjoy that. It's not fun."

"Hey, Star." Streamline hugged me. She was my height and looked just like carrier.

"Hey, Stream." I hugged my little sister.

Rainstorm was also there. She was 5 stellar cycles younger than me, and not trined yet, but I knew someone was courting her at the time. It had been a while since I had talked to her, so was nice to catch up. My sisters, Overcast and Quickstrike didn't make it. Quickstrike had a full trine and family, and Overcast was still in the War Academy. But, my older brother showed up. And I hadn't spoken to him since he had betrayed me by handing me over to Thundercracker when I was trying not to be sparked with Zephyr.

"Hi, Stars." Nacreous smiled, still towering over me. Maelstrom and Stardust were in formation behind him, Maelstrom wearing a zap collar, and I knew who held the remote.

"Hey, Nacreous." I said softly, wings lowering. It hurt. I grew up trusting him and looking up to him. And as an adult I was afraid of him and trying to avoid him.

"Haven't seen you in stellar cycles!" He hugged me tightly, wings fluttering. "You're looking good, little brother."

I looked away, studying Maelstrom and that collar on her. She looked… defeated. Completely broken down. Her optics weren't as bright as I remembered them being. Her color scheme had changed to dark blues and grays, and she was covered with scares from a whip. She looked like she was just a husk, kept only alive for breeding purposes.

And Stardust just looked scared. Like she had seen things and was too afraid to say or do anything or else she would suffer.

It made it harder for me to feel comfortable around my brother knowing he had become just another traditional trineleader beating his submissives for anything and everything, and trying to have as many creations as he could put into them. At this time he had sired seventeen Seekerlets already. He would end up having sired fifty-three.

I managed to slip away from him and everyone else, grabbed Skywarp's servo, and stayed close to him. I love my siblings, well, maybe not Nacreous so much at this time, but I was so anxious with everyone there and scared of upsetting them. Skywarp knew I was upset and took me upstairs. He made me go into his room and sat me down on the couch. He cuddled next to me, kissing me and hugging me.

"Doing alright?" He asked.

"Better now." I said softly. "Thanks."

"Anything for you." He nuzzled his olfactory sensor against mine. "They won't be here long. The ceremony is in a joor, then we go to the party, and then they will be by tonight. and you know what happens once they're gone, right?" His wings fluttered.

I sheepishly smiled. "Cuddling."

"Lots and lots of cuddling. Slow, gentle cuddling. Missionary cuddling. And all the kissies. So many kissies."

I paused. "Or… You can cuddle with me while they're still here. Once the little ones are in berth."

He giggled. "I can most certainly do that. You're mine."

"Remind them of it."

"I will." He kissed me on the lip plates. "Will you be alright if I go back down?"

I nodded. "Yeah. If my carrier wants to see me, that's fine. Everyone else… I'm just too stressed right now."

"Understood." He kissed me firmly on the lip plates before teleporting.

I exhaled heavily, rubbed over my optics, then turned on the TV, needing something to distract me.

* * *

I held Rogue's servo as we made our way to where the ceremony would be. I caught up with the creators of Zephyr's friends, and felt safer with them present. Steelwing was less likely to do or say something with so many grounder femmes around. And I liked the carriers of Zephyr's friends. We always got along, we could talk about being carriers and our interface life, and of course being mated. I was a housemate like them, and I needed people who understood that life to talk about it with.

As we were finding somewhere to sit, some of the friends of my daughters and nephews came over to sit with them. And Dawn ran off to sit with a group of her friends. I sat down next to Skywarp, Rogue on my lap. Carrier sat on the other side of me, and Skyfire sat on the others side of Skywarp. Everyone else was spread about around us. Storm and a couple of his friends sat directly behind me, which I liked because I got to hear this conversation.

"Your carrier is hot." Storm's friend said in not the best of whispers.

Storm flared his wings. "That's my uncle, not my carrier. And that's gross."

"No, he's right, Storm. Your carrier _is_ really hot." The other friend piped up.

"He's my uncle!"

"Isn't he your step-carrier technically?"

"Back off."

I smiled sheepishly. Mechlings.

Skywarp heard it too and looked back at them. "You're damn right he's hot! And he's _mine_! Find _yourself_ a hot mate! Not that they ever will come _close_ to _my_ sexy turbofox!"

"UGH! Carrier!" Storm groaned as he covered his faceplates and hung his helm.

"Stop embarrassing him." I put my servo on Skywarp's thigh and gave it a bit of a squeeze.

Skywarp sat properly on his seat again, giggling with that broad smile of his. "He'll look back and laugh some orbital cycle." He then kissed me on the cheekplates. "Mine."

I smirked, taking his servo in mine. "Yours."

" _Mine_!" Rogue hugged me.

"Yes, I'm especially yours, princess." I hugged her with my free arm.

The ceremony soon began. I kept glancing over to see Zephyr as she waited with all the other graduates. People spoke, then one of the graduates gave a speech, and soon they were handing the diplomas. My spark leaped a little when Zephyr was called and I saw her walking across the stage. I wanted to shout and cheer my little femmling on, but I suddenly felt scared to. That I would be hurt if I did anything. I only could lower my wings and hug Rogue, listening to Skywarp loudly cheering on Zephyr. Everyone cheered and whistled for her, but not her own carrier. I was too scared. I didn't understand why I was so scared. I felt like… Everyone would be mad at me. I didn't want to be hurt. So I remained still. And then I felt bad afterwards, and felt like everyone was mad at me now, and I would be hurt for not cheering.

Coolant filled my optics, but I couldn't cry. If I did… Everyone would be mad, I would only embarrass my trine, and I would be punished.

"Shh, it's okay." I heard Skywarp whispering as his arm wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me close to him. "I'm here. You're safe." He kissed me. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't speak, only shake my helm. He hugged me close, stroking my wings. Skyfire noticed and leaned over, whispering.

"You alright, Star?" He worriedly asked.

I shook my helm, hugging Skywarp. I started to feel stressed out, something building in me. I felt like I was making everything worse. Everyone was angry with me. They hated me. I would be punished. I brought dishonor on my trine. I started to tremble, unable to stop these ideas flooding my processor, feeling a surge of fear, stress, and despair rushing through me.

"Here." Skyfire took Rogue and handed her to Skywarp before grabbing me and placing me on his lap. He hugged me close, and I felt safe in his arms. The fear started to dissipate, and I eventually found my air intakes normalizing. "Feel better?" He whispered.

I nodded, but I still felt like I was embarrassing them with these emotions I couldn't control. Or even understand. But, I think these panic attacks and so much stress was being caused because I was finally beginning to relax some without Thundercracker being around all the time. My self defenses were lowering, allowing myself to actually notice how stressed, anxious, and depressed I was. And these suppressed feelings now able to surface at full strength. I hated all of it, and it made me feel like I was a cowardly sparkling, but it was just my mental illness, this disability I had due to what all had been done to me throughout my life. And only now was I able to understand that these feelings, emotions, mood swings… It all had a name: PTSD.

The ceremony felt like forever, and when it was finally over I was quick to vacate the premise with my family. We were having a graduation party with Zephyr's friends, so went to the park where that was being hosted. I stayed with Skywarp and Skyfire away from everyone. Zephyr was a social butterfly, Dawn, Storm, and Tempest were with their friends, Skyblast only cared about the desserts and talking the audio receptors off his grandcarrier, and Rogue… She was busy picking crystal flowers and making a bouquet for me.

"Here you go, carrier!" Rogue proudly proclaimed as she held up her bouquet to me.

I perked my wings and faintly smiled. "Aw, thank you, princess. I love them." I took them from her. "You know, your sire would give me bouquets like this when we first met. It was how he told me he wanted to be my partner and us have little princesses together."

She just giggled, then held her arms up to me.

I picked her up and placed her on my lap, hugging her. She kicked her little peds, smiling up at me. I couldn't help but kiss her on the cheekplates. I love her so much. I love all my daughters so, so much. And thinking about how much I love them, how happy I was to have them in my life always made me think about how much I had denied and fought to not have them in the first place. Maybe Thundercracker had always been right. Maybe I was in the wrong about this. Maybe about everything.

I vented a sigh and pushed those thoughts aside. Regardless of who was right or wrong in the end, I had these four creations now, and there was no changing the past. There was nothing to do but to look to the future now. A future for my femmlings, and a future for myself. As much of a future I could get for myself. I may find myself being a carrier to twenty creations. And in the end, they will always come first.

"I love you, carrier!" Rogue blurted out, snuggling against me.

My spark warmed, and I hugged her. "I love you, more, princess." I said softly, my processor temporary removed from dark places.

* * *

That night… The Seekerlets were tired from the party and long orbital cycle and already in berth. Skyfire had retired as well, leaving me, Skywarp. carrier, Nacreous and his trine, Steelwing and his trine, Hellfire, and Streamline. Rainstorm had gone to her hotel already, needing to online early to fly back to Vos so she can return to her job. We were all seated at the table, just talking. Mostly palaver. I was pretty quiet, sipping my energon, leaning against Skywarp, just waiting until our guests left.

Then… Things of course went downhill for me.

"Starscream, make yourself of use and get me more energon." Steelwing snapped, waving his empty cube at me.

"You have two functional legs." I sassed.

Steelwing glared at me. "I gave you a command, submissive."

"Starscream, quit being a brat and obey dominants for once." Nacreous snapped at me.

"He can get it himself." I raised my wings at my brother.

"You are such a disrespectful aft. And you wonder by you're punished all the time." Nacreous grunted.

"Fetch my energon, you cheap whore." Steelwing gruffly ordered, his wings flaring.

I firmly set my glass on the table, pushed my chair back, got up, and snatched the cube from Steelwing before stomping into the energon storage room. Ugh, I hate him. I filled the cube, paused, then poured some into my mouth, as much as I could. I sloshed it around, then spat it back into the cube. I was about to take that back to him, but… I had to take it even further. Don't be like me… I opened my waste tank and… It was just a bit of "seasoning." I mixed it up with a digit, then took it to his royal aft face. I sat back in my seat, and leaned against Skywarp. It took all my power to not smile like a devil when Steelwing took that first sip. I don't think he even tasted the… added flavor.

Primus, why am I so awful? This is why I love myself sometimes.

"I think he's getting worse." Steelwing grunted. "Thundercracker isn't here to discipline him, and now these two are forgetting how to behave. Skywarp, do you even punish him?"

"There's no need to…" Skywarp said slowly. "Star behaves."

"He's disrespectful and dishonest. He clearly doesn't behave."

"Starscream is wonderful and we're equals. I don't punish the one who is not below me."

Steelwing gave him a look. "Did you let that whore dominate you?"

"He won fairly. We're _equals_. Thundercracker is our superior, but we're the same." He shrugged. "I don't care. Interface is the same, everything is the same really. Probably better."

"Better that your trineleader isn't around?"

"I never said that." Skywarp hiked his wings. "Thundercracker is missed and we want him back. But he won't be back for a while so we need to handle things without him."

"And become unruly, untrained, disrespectful brats." He sipped again.

I snickered, unable to hold it in that time. He didn't suspect anything.

"You think it's funny to be a brat?" Steelwing demanded from me.

My wings lowered. "No, sir."

"Then what's so funny? Hmm? Like that your trineleader is locked away?"

I quickly shook my helm. "N-no, sir! I-I want my trineleader back."

"Unlikely. You never listen to him, you go off whoring yourself to non-Seekers, and even try to not be bred. You're a disrespectful, miserable, whoring-"

"Hey!" Hellfire shouted, wings flaring. "Watch what you say about my brother, you cog-headed-"

"Hellfire!" Nacreous flicked his wings. "You do not speak ill of a trineleader, especially when you're not even of age."

"Not speak ill of a trineleader? This piece-of-slag is insulting my big brother! I don't give a damn if he win the right to hump his trinemates, _no one_ treats my family or friends like slag!"

I faintly smiled. Hellfire was a pain-in-the-aft 99.9999999% of the time, but he had a good spark. And him defending me against such an intimidating Seeker like Steelwing really made me know how much he loved me.

"Can you not raise proper Seekers?" Steelwing snapped at carrier.

Carrier gave him that sidelong glare that even made sire leave the room in fear for his life. And sire is scared of nothing.

"There is nothing wrong with my Seekerlets." Carrier said coolly, seething that wrath only carriers could burn with. The wrath I now understood all too well since becoming a carrier myself.

"Clearly, there is. This one is a disrespectful whore and that one is a disrespectful punk." Steelwing grunted.

"I would also like to point out how your carrier raised a disrespectful bully who gets off being cruel to those much smaller and weaker than you to make up for your lack of a spike." Carrier replied so calmly before sipping from her glass.

Did I ever say how much I love my carrier and how much I took after her?

Everyone at that table hung open their jaws, optics wide, shocked that Moonlight had just completely burned Steelwing without any fear or hesitation. Steelwing was shocked too, but it didn't last.

He quickly stood up, wings flaring, ready to hurt someone. "You miserable wretch!" He then unsubspaced a long energon whip. "I'm going to whip the disrespect out of you since Skycutter has failed to."

"Go ahead." Carrier flared her wings, her expression and vocalizer unchanging. "When Skycutter finds out you touched one of his preferred breeding mates he'll tear you apart." She tugged at her collar, reminding him that it was still there. "I belong to the Alpha. You don't want to break the Alpha's property. He gets kind of pissed if his trophies are knocked off the shelf by the clumsy fools who fail to keep their distance."

Steelwing glared at her, his clenched fists shaking with his unholy fury. His denta were gritted so fiercely that I thought for sure they would break. And only death glowed from his narrowed optics.

"Hmm? Are you not going to whip me then?" Moonlight perked her wings. "I thought I needed to be taught a lesson that _clearly_ my master, Skycutter, is failing to teach me." She smirked that same smirk she passed on to me.

Hellfire giggled. "Yeah, don't want to touch my carrier. Sire kinda has a possessive disorder or something. Gets really pissed about others touching his things."

Steelwing stomped back to his seat, subspaced the whip, and sat back down, his wrath emanating from his being. Carrier kept her smirk, sipping her energon as her free servo tugged at her collar, making sure the writing on it faced Steelwing. Which, sire wrote on the collars because he's so unbelievably possessive. Even for Seeker standards. Each breeding mate's collar read, "[Designation of breeding mate] is property of Seeker Skycutter of Vos, Alpha Seeker. Destruction or damage to this property will result in loss of limbs and life. Look, but don't touch. Hurtful words towards my property will result with loss of a vocalizer if you're lucky."

"Carrier, you should remember your place." Nacreous spoke up. "Just because you are the Alpha's breeding mate doesn't mean you should be disrespectful towards trineleaders. You're not even allowed to speak to trineleaders. Just be quiet and behave."

Carrier gave him such a look. "You may not be under my wing any longer, but you do not speak to your carrier like that. Trineleader or not, you're still my Seekerlet, and your sire will still deal with you for disrespecting your carrier."

"Not disrespecting you, _carrier_. I am simply pointing out your bad attitude and that it's going to lead to you being punished by sire."

"Your sire likes my attitude… You haven't seen him during the orgies…" She grunted.

"Let's not talk about what you guys do." Streamline said quickly.

"Yes, let's not." I grunted.

"I'm curious." Skywarp perked his wings. "I always wondered if Skycutter liked naughty femmes."

"Naughty femmes? He likes being the naughty _mech_." Carrier replied with a roll of her optics.

My siblings and I quickly covered our audio receptors.

"No more!" Hellfire screamed.

Skywarp giggled. "Gee, didn't realize your sire was kinky, Scree!"

"Ugh, stop…" I groaned. Which, maybe part of my own fetishes arose from the fact my sire had his own kinks. Maybe it gets passed down… I don't know.

"When TC gets back we should see if he'll be a 'naughty mech.'" He then giggled, fluttering his wings.

"No son of mine will be involved in such sinful activities." Steelwing grunted.

"It's not sinful…" I said slowly. "It's fun… Interface is more enjoyable when it's mixed up."

"And without Thundercracker here to keep you two inline you start acting like cheap whores. You both need a public flogging."

"What is it like fragging this guy?" Skywarp looked from Gale and Borealis. "Has to be the most boring, unsatisfying act in the galaxy."

"I satisfy my submissives."

"Yeah, the two times you actually managed to overload them." I blurted out.

"That's it!" Steelwing leaped from his chair, stomped over, grabbed my arm, and yanked me out of my seat. "You need to be punished, you miserable brat!" He then started to drag me towards the stairs.

I was terrified, trying to struggle free, but he was so strong.

"Hey!" Skywarp stood up. "Let him go!"

"You need to sit down and behave!" Nacreous shouted at my trinemate. "You too, Hellfire! Starscream is a submissive and needs to learn. It's for his own good."

Thanks, big bro. He made sure no one went up to my rescue.

I was taken to Thundercracker's room, and thrown against the berth. Steelwing locked the door, then grasped my neck and pinned me to the berth. I froze, absolutely terrified, remembering what he did to me last time I was alone with him. Coolant started to pour from my optics as I trembled.

"Please, don't-"

"Shut up!" He growled, his optics glowing with cold death. "I am _done_ with your poor attitude and disrespect. Since Thundercracker isn't here to discipline you, _I will_."

"Thundercracker said you were never to touch-"

"He'll thank me." He released me. "Turn over." He snapped as he unsubspaced a very thick, metal cable.

I shook my helm, scooting back on the berth until my back was against the wall. "No, y-you're not my trineleader! I-I submit to him and him alone!"

"You _will_ turn over!" He roared.

I was crying now. "Please! Only Thundercracker can-"

He grabbed me, yanking me over with such strength, then flipped me over. One servo pressed down on my back between my wings, and the other… Began to rain down the nastiest lashes to my aft. I screamed, I tried to get away, but I couldn't escape. I begged, I cried, I was a bawling mess. It was so much worse than what Thundercracker gave me. Thundercracker, when he punished it was either when he was calm or pissed. And it would just be that. Steelwing wanted me dead. And it was that sheer hatred that drove his strikes. Each brutal lash tearing across my aft and thighs like the claws of hell cutting into me.

I was in so much pain and so scared. I thought he would beat me until I died. And so I struggled, but he held me down, grumbling about how desperately I needed training. I was trained very well for my trineleader. He wasn't my trineleader so I of course would give him a hard time.

He kept lashing and lashing and lashing my rear end and thighs until they were leaking. I was a bawling mess, hyperventilating, and in shock by the time he finally finished with me. I don't know how many lashes I got… It was definitely more than 200…

He grasped my wing and harshly yanked me up. I pushed at him, wanting to get away, but he shoved me towards the door.

"March your disciplined aft out." He commanded harshly.

My wings were so low and trembling. Thundercracker never made me have to face people after I was punished. He would let me stay in my room or his and cry in privacy. Giving me some dignity, and also so the Seekerlets didn't have to see me like that. But, Steelwing just wanted to humiliate me as much as he could.

"March. Out." He snapped, pointing with the cable at the door.

I shook my helm, still choking on sobs. He didn't like that. He grabbed me, turned me around, and gave my wings several brutal lashes before shoving me at the door again.

"March out!" He bellowed.

Trembling, I palmed the door open and stepped out. He stomped out, grabbing my arm and forcibly led me down the stairs and back to the table. He shoved me into my seat before he returned to his own. I hugged Skywarp, crying into his neck cables, not wanting to look at anyone. Skywarp hugged me tightly, stroking my backplates and purring his engine to sooth me.

"I'm here. I love you. Shh, shhh, shhh." He said softly, pulling me onto his lap as he held me close.

"Maybe next time you'll know to keep your mouth shut." Steelwing said bitterly before drinking from his cube.

"I doubt my brother ever will learn." Nacreous replied. "He's stubborn. Always has been. Thundercracker should just get a zap collar for him. It certainly did wonders on Maelstrom. Didn't it?" He smirked before kissing Maelstrom on the lip plates. She didn't react, remaining silent and stiff, her spirit just gone. "Didn't it?" Nacreous flicked his wings.

"Yes, sir. I am yours." She answered in a monotone vocalizer, optics so dim.

Nacreous' smile only grew. "Yes, you are." He kissed her on the lip plates, more out of possession than love.

Carrier watched me for a moment before speaking. "Well, I think we should not keep our hosts up any longer. It's late and I'm sure everyone is tired after this long orbital cycle." She stood. "It was nice seeing all of you again."

"Yeah, we better get to the hotel. Need to head back tomorrow to be with the Seekerlets." Nacreous stood up, his trinemates doing the same. "And need to satisfy these femmes tonight." He grasped their afts, pulling them closer to him before kissing them both on the lip plates. They did not seem excited at all about interface.

"Hmm." Steelwing grunted as he stood, finishing off his cube. "Yes, I need to take care of my trine as well. It was an honor meeting you, Nacreous. You are far different from your brothers."

"Oh, I know." Nacreous gave a nod of his helm. "And it was an honor meeting you as well." He turned to me. "I'll see you later, little brother. Try to behave,"

I just hugged Skywarp, refusing to look at anyone, listening to them talking and finally leaving. Carrier was beside me once the two trines were gone.

"Oh, my precious, little sparkle." She kissed me on the cheekplates. "I know it hurts. I know… I'm sorry…" She pulled my helm away from Skywarp's neck and gently hugged it against her breastplates. "That guy is just a bully. He is too quick to punishment and intimidation." She kissed me on the cheekplates. "I'll tell your sire and he'll take care of him again."

I slowly nodded my helm, but didn't say anything.

"Skywarp, go ahead and get him to berth. You both need to rest. We'll get settled ourselves."

"Alright." Skywarp nodded, then teleported me to his room. He lied me down on the berth, turned off the lights, then lied down beside me, snuggling. "I love you. TC will be back before you know it and be protecting us. No one will ever get near us once he's back." He kissed me.

I slowly nodded, clinging to him.

"Recharge, Scree. In the morning I'll get you all the energon goodies."

I remained silent, just hugging my trinemate, my crying all but over now. He soon fell into recharge, and I just lied there, thinking. And I thought things submissives shouldn't think. I didn't want to wait for Thundercracker to be there to protect me from people like his sire. I wanted to be able to protect myself. Why was it that as a carrier I was supposed to be able to defend my creations, and yet couldn't defend myself? Why did I have to be so dependent on just my trineleader? I already had a job and taking care of my family financially. I was becoming so independent and capable without my trineleader. And I liked it. I wanted more of it. I wanted to be able to live without needing to rely on anyone. Why should I always have to depend on someone who has shown he isn't perfect and makes mistakes?

No, I was going to be independent. I was going to be me. I was going to show everyone.

And I snuck out of berth, out the balcony door without onlining my siblings and carrier, and flew off to do something so stupid.

I knew the hotel Steelwing was staying in. I managed to get the front desk receptionist to tell me the room number by promising them interface. I never did interface them. I quickly figured out by how he was looking at me he wanted in my plating. So I played him, and he told me what I wanted to know, becoming so horney. I promised I would be back and he could have me. But I never did come back.

I went up to the room and listened. I definitely heard some interfacing going on in there… Gale did not sound like he was having a wonderful time, and Borealis… She sounded like she was faking. I stayed there, hearing them overload, then Steelwing telling them how much he loved them. Uh huh, sure you did, pal… Then they finally settled down. I waited a breem to make sure they were recharging before I hacked the door and entered the room.

Steelwing was lying on his back, his trinemates on either side of him, curled against him as his arms held them close. They were deep in recharge, intakes slow and heavy, cooling fans still active from their bonding.

I quietly snuck over, standing beside the berth. Before I had come over I had made a little stop at an abandoned building I would hide in when using circuit boosters. I had found out why it was abandoned. And Steelwing would soon as well. I carefully, oh so carefully and slowly, opened Steelwing's nanite panel and used my energon knife to cut his wires. Then, I just as carefully opened his chest plates, seeing the greasy spark of his… And then I opened his mouth.

I held up the container I had, removed the lid, and poured out the contents into his mouth and chest cavity. Cyberfly larvae. Lots and lots of them. All wriggling around, the little maggots looking for something to feed on. And I had collected so, fragging, many! I soon filled up his chest cavity and mouth with them, and poured the rest over his frame, watching them wiggle their way into his transformation seams.

He started to make coughing sounds and I knew he was onlining. I ran so fast out of there, down the hallway, opened a window, and flew out. I can only imagine the screams and panic coming from that room when he onlined.

I returned home and got back in berth with my awesome trinemate. I cuddled against him, smiling, and gave him a kiss.

"Love you, Warp." I snuggled into his warm chassis, feeling his arms hold me close to him as he recharged.

Oh… Oh was I dead.

* * *

It was pretty early in the morning when the door chime kept going off. Skywarp got out of berth, kissing me as he did so, and answered it.

"Where is that little creep." Steelwing growled with gritted denta, shoving Skywarp aside as he stormed in.

"Uhhhhhh…" Skywarp so brilliantly articulated.

"Starscream! Where is he!?"

"Why..?"

"That brat poured cybermaggots on me!" He roared.

Skywarp shrunk back, his wings drooping. "Scree has been in berth with me all night…"

"Shut up!" Hellfire shouted from the couch. "It's too damn early for you to be throwing a tantrum! I'm trying to recharge here!"

Steelwing shoved Skywarp aside and stormed upstairs. Skywarp chased after him. Steelwing opened the door to Skywarp's room and stomped inside. I was online now, having heard the shouting. I lowered my wings as I sat on the berth, tensing.

"You miserable-!" Steelwing charged at me.

I panicked. I leaped out of the way, barely missing him, then bolted out of the room. He chased me. I leaped over the railing of the stairs, then ran out the still open door to the balcony. I jumped off, transformed, and flew. Steelwing was right behind me. I powered my thrusters to the max, breaking the sound barrier and soon was flying well over Mach 3. I flew between towers, under bridges, barely missing structures and other fliers. I barrel rolled, aileron rolled, dived, everything, trying to out maneuver him, trying to stay ahead, trying to not die. Because I knew he was going to disembowel me. I flew so hard, I flew far, I flew insanely, and then… I lost him. He was gone. I was too fast.

I flew around some more, making sure he was truly lost, then turned myself around and flew to the Iacon police station.

* * *

I returned home a couple of joors later, locked the door behind me, and ran into the arms of my worried trinemate.

"Primus, I was looking for you!" He kissed me. "What happened?"

"I managed to lose him. Too slow for me." I smirked, then kissed him on the lip plates. "But I took care of him."

"How?"

"I got a restraining order on him." I fluttered my wings.

"What? I don't know if TC would-"

"TC will thank me." I turned around and pressed my aft against his codpiece, wings fluttering as I made his arms wrap around my waist. "You're beautiful." I smiled back at him.

"Oh, am I?" He smirked, his arms tightening around my waist.

"So, beautiful. And sexy." I reached between my legs to grasp his codpiece, squeezing it. That chase had my spark still racing and surplus energy coursing through my system. I needed someone to bring me back to Cybertron.

"Think the little ones will leave their rooms in the next breem?" He spread his legs out a little, wings hiking.

"I think they are all going to be recharging for the rest of the orbital cycle because the semester finally is over."

"True." He then began to bite on my nape, tugging some, his codpiece folding away.

I winced from the pain, but it was good pain. He was only claiming me. I removed my own codpiece, spread out my legs, and held his wrists.

"Mmmmnnnrrrgh!" I half moaned, half growled when he pushed inside of me. I flicked my wings, reminding him I was still dominant, then growled my engine. He growled his back and bit harder on my nape. I snarled as I grit my denta, staying tense, but still allowing him to do as he pleased with me. "Ha, ow… You're so mean." I said as he began to thrust.

He giggled, hugging me close to him. "I am. I love you."

"Love you, too."

"This is why I flew all this way. To watch my big brother get banged on in the living room." Hellfire grunted as he walked over with a glass of energon.

"You're just jealous. Ah." I turned to him.

"Not at all. I honestly don't care about interface. Nor finding a trine. I rather live alone and a virgin."

"Sad."

"After seeing the hell all you trined Seekers go through… Nah, I'll be the happy one."

"Hey, if you find the right trinemates it's awesome." Skywarp replied. "I found my perfect trinemate right here." He fluttered his wings.

"Uh huh. And yet you two still fight and have a tough time."

"Hellfire, no relationship is perfect." I grunted. "Hah, sure my trine has it's, oh, ups and downs, but when it's good it's awesome. And I have, oh, four beautiful daughters I love more than anything, and two amazing nephews that are practically my own sons."

"Daughters that were forced on you against your will by a guy who beats you until you attempt suicide. Yeah… That's more than just a few 'downs.'"

I wanted to say something, but stopped. He was right. I looked away, pressing myself into Skywarp's chassis, just wanting to concentrate on him holding me, thrusting into me, and being there.

There was a knock at the door and Hellfire went to answer it.

"Oh, it's you." Hellfire said in almost annoyance.

"I know he came back." Steelwing growled as he shoved Hellfire aside and stomped in. He marched straight over to me. "You filthy, miserable, little-"

"Nah ah uh!" I waved a digit at him. "You are not allowed here."

"I don't care what you tell me, whore."

"I know you don't. That's why I went to the Iacon police." I then unsubspaced a datapad and held it up. "I have a restraining order against you. You'll receive your copy soon enough. You're no longer allowed around me, my daughters, or Skywarp and his sons, or our home. If you are near us you will be arrested and enjoy prison with your son. If the Seekerlets choose to see you, that is their choice. But you are not allowed around me or my home no matter what." I flicked my wings. "Get the hell out of my home or else I'm calling the police and they'll remove you for me."

Steelwing glared at me, his wings flaring. He was about to speak when Hellfire spoke up.

"You heard him, waste-port. Get the hell out of here." He flicked his wings.

Steelwing flicked his wings back at Hellfire. Then he glared at me. "Fine. I'll play your game, whore. But once Thundercracker is out I expect that restraining order will quickly be thrown out and he better beat you every single orbital cycle for the rest of your miserable life."

"Such promises. Get out!" I flared my wings, and growled my engine.

Steelwing flicked his wings once more before stomping out. Hellfire locked the door and turned to me.

"That was awesome, Stars."

I faintly smirked, that feeling so… amazing. I was in control of a situation. I stood up to one of my tormentors. I was in charge. I… I didn't feel as scared as I normally was. I… did something submissives never do.

I liked this. No, I _loved_ this! That was amazing! It was awesome! And… I wanted to keep doing it. To keep feeling that. I wanted to have control of every situation like that. I wanted to never feel unable to take care of myself again.

Oh, was I certainly starting to get my independence.

* * *

 **I actually finished this chapter last week but didn't post because... Something awful happened... I'll explain at the end of my usual notes. So, please see it and have tissues ready.**

 **And because I didn't feel up to posting this chapter when I did finish it, I kept writing and got chapter 20 finished last night. I will post it either tomorrow or maybe Monday since I still need to read through it. But, chapter 20 is NOT going to be easy for you guys. Just an FYI. Some major shit happens so be aware.**

 **Anyway, I wanted to tell you guys about the IDW Optimus Prime annual called "Starscream: The Movie." It FINALLY shows us how the Elite Trine met and more about why Seekers all look the same and everything. And it confirms my suspicions that Thundercracker IS an outlier, AND that my headcanon of Skywarp being experimented on and being traumatized from it due to being an outlier is actually canon. Yay me! And also my headcanon that TC met Skywarp first, and then the two met Star is ALSO canon. And TC connected with both Skywarp and Starscream in the comic, FINALLY, but Skywarp and Star haven't reconnected. And TC clearly still sees Star as a friend of sorts because he chose to continue making a movie about Starscream show Starscream for who he truly is, the good and the bad side, and not make him all evil, nor all good. But who he is. And even visited him in prison and everything.**

 **Anyway, good issue, I recommend it as I do all the IDW G1 Transformers comics, and TC is adorable in it!**

 **I was also going to leave a PSA on respecting service dogs but... After what happened last week I... Just read the note at the end.**

 **As Star says about just because of how he looks shouldn't determine how he lives, again, that is the same as racism, breedism, or specieism. Just because someone looks a certain way due to their skin color, body shape, or species does NOT dictate them being "lesser" than other living beings, nor that they have a certain purpose to fulfill and ONLY that purpose. We're ALL individuals with our own personalities and desires and all of us, human or non-human animals, have the right to life, living the life we want, and so long as we're not harming others, who gives a fuck? No one has the right to abuse anyone based on their species, look, sex, sexual orientation, race, religion, etc.**

 **Stars panic attacks/breakdowns are similar to mine and how I react in certain public places. He's also going through more because as he begins to relax not having Thundercracker around to beat him, his body is going through those triggering "flare ups" in the form of panic attacks. It's so much fun, I tell you...**

 **Ya'll better had cried or felt something when Starscream said that Skyfire didn't keep his promise because of the Autobots. Yes, I'm heartless.**

 **Skyfire would make a scary sire when pissed off. Good thing he's a teddy bear.**

 **The testing Starscream did, the talk, even the room the testing is done is is exactly how I was tested to find out I had PTSD. I saw a lot of aliens and animals in the ink blotch test. Not sure what that told about me, but... yeah... And explosions... Saw a lot of those...**

 **I also have disabilities at my college. Haven't used them really... Probably will this semester, my final semester ever, after what happened... The disability place is emailing me so much. My professors are scared I'm suicidal. I'm not there YET, but probably will be soon as these emotions change... But, professors keep making the disability place reach out to me. Oh, and some of the things Star's disability paperwork says is what mine say.**

 **Cress is the name of a canon TF character, but this is not the same Cress.**

 **The comment from Star about being smelly when preggo wasn't bathroom humor. When pregnant... You tend to have VERY stinky poo and when near the end you sweat a lot and are not as clean because the body is just all over the place so... you kinda smell. And Star being scared to cheer and his emotions he felt are me as well.**

 **Abusers control their victims by taking away independence. Now, as Star becomes more independent he is taking control of his life and therefore taking power away from his abuser.**

 **Okay, that was all I was going to say regarding the chapter. Now, for what happened and... Just have tissues ready.**

 **My dog, Maggie, my best friend, my world, my absolute everything... Passed away in my arms, on my bed, at home on March 13, at 1:36pm.**

 **Her spleen had a massive blood clot, it flipped over, filled with blood, and she had cancer growths, her kidneys were messed up, she was anemic... I took her to three different vets, the last one being a specialist. I was at the specialist for 6 hours and they did so many tests... My angel could only be saved with surgery, but she was too weak for it. And without it she only would last a couple of days.**

 **Against the vet's wishes, I took her home and stayed up all night with her, just having our last night together. She just stayed on my bed, as I lied beside her holding her. She was so weak she couldn't even sit up. I had to help her sit up so she could drink water. Her friends came to be with her when the vet came the next day. She grew her wings in my arms, surrounded by people who loved her, and with her mother.**

 **I wish I could of saved her... Her birthday was only a month away. She was turning 14. And only 3 weeks from her death will be the 2 year anniversary to when I lost Genevieve, my cat, to pancreatic cancer.**

 **Maggie was everything in my life, and we had the strongest bond. I was her world, and she mine. And words don't even begin to describe my heartbreak, my pain, just this loss... She was and always will be my precious, perfect baby who saved my life so many times from myself.**

 **It took 2 weeks for me to go back to college and work. I'm behind in everything, but I can't function... The numbness is just now fading away, and acceptance hasn't fully quite kicked in. And I know I'm going to get only worse once it does. I am just so shocked and hurt... She was doing so well I thought she would make it to 17 years. She was so healthy, and energetic, and vibrant... And now my angel is gone...**

 **I got her ashes back yesterday and now in the beautiful urn I bought for her right next to Genevieve's urn. None of this is fair. I just wish I could have done more to save my babies. That I had seen things sooner, that modern medicine was more advanced, that just... None of this happened.**

 **I wrote a memorial to her you can read on my deviantART. Genevieve's is there as well. Just google "Ga-Maleven on deviantART," and it's in my journals. Or, you can put in this link: (h) t t p s: (/)(/) ga-maleven. deviantart.c o m (/) journal/Maggie-Lost-Her-Battle-735368602**

 **Just type it into the search bar, with NO spaces or parenthesis. This was the best I could do to get it in... I can hyperlink it on Archive of Our Own so I'll do it there at the end of this chapter. So, you can find me there as well. Same username and stories as here. There's pictures and drawings I did of her linked in the journal.**

 **I don't think I'm going to walk at my graduation. We were going to walk together since we went to college together. And I can't do this alone... I don't know how I'm going to finish this semester... All my professors were crying when I told them. She was loved by everyone in the Art and Design Building at my university.**

 **I love you, Maggie. You and Genevieve will always be loved by me, and I miss you both so much. Be safe and happy in heaven. I'll see you two again when it's my time. I love you.**


	20. Making the Connection

**Chapter 20**

 **Four stellar cycles later:**

Thundercracker lied on his back on the cold berth in his cell. His legs bent, knees in the air, thruster heels pressed into the berthtop. His denta gritted, as his left servo covered his optics, digit tips clutching. His right servo roughly stroked and sent electrical shocks into his hard spike, giving him the only intercourse he could have. Ever since he had killed Crosscut, Skywarp and I were no longer allowed to have conjugal visits, since Thundercracker was viewed as "extremely dangerous." So, he would just self service. And self service a lot. Sometimes ten times an orbital cycle. He wasn't allowed out of his cell much, so it also helped to pass the time.

"Argh… Hah… Oh, Starscream…" He moaned, optics offline, imagining being with us as he always did. "Oh, I love you. Hah… Mine… You're mine… Nrrgh!"

A guard knocked on the door. "Hey, lover mech! Quit touching yourself and get presentable. The warden will see you now."

Thundercracker removed his arm and looked over, ceasing in his masturbation. "For a lecture?"

"To hear your probation plea."

Thundercracker quickly shoved his hard self into his codpiece before closing it. He leaped up and washed his servos in the small sink, then cleaned all around his codpiece and thighs. He scrubbed other parts of his frame, wanting to look as clean as possible to impress the warden. After all, he was trying to convince that he was a model citizen.

"Servos out." The guard ordered as he opened the small panel on the door.

Thundercracker turned around and put his servos through the hole, letting manacles be slapped on his wrists and tightened. He took a step forward and patiently waited for the door to open, then instructed to step out backwards. He did so, and soon was walking down the hallway, four guards escorting him, two holding their shock sticks out in case he tried anything.

He was led into a room with a large desk with three people seated at it. He was made to sit on a chair before the desk, his wings perking.

"Seeker Thundercracker of Vos." A large femme sitting at the center of the table spoke as she went through his files. "This is the third time you have requested to be put on probation for outside of the prison."

"Yes, ma'am." Thundercracker respectfully spoke with a single nod of his helm.

"Your behavior within my prison has improved exponentially. Haven't been involved in a fight for almost six stellar cycles now, nor have you murdered any more inmates. You have been very respectful to the guards and even have taken a lead in cleaning, organizing fellow inmates to work together at tasks, and stopped an inmate from killing one of my guards." She looked up at him. "But how do I know you are truly a better person now and not trying to trick me into letting you out early?"

"Ma'am, I am the sire of six beautiful sparklings. I will never harm my creations. I am willing to do anything to be reunited with my creations and be the proper sire they need. And to do my utmost to care for them and my two mates. I know I have made mistakes, I know I hurt my mate, but I'm going to, for now on, be the partner, the sire, the protector my family needs me to be."

"And that means no more beating your mate, correct?" She raised an optical ridge.

"Absolutely, ma'am. My mates are everything to me, and I realized that hitting them isn't going to get them to behave. I do not enjoy being struck by a guard or a fellow inmate. And it's made me realize that my trinemates shouldn't have to know that feeling either. I will treat them right. I know things may be difficult at times, but I will do my best to care for, provide, and be a proper mate and sire for my family."

"Uh huh." The warden straightened herself in her chair. "Thundercracker… If I let you out on probation, and you break your probation, you understand that your punishment will be beyond severe. And if I see you in my prison again, learning that you _lied_ to me, I'm going to be immensely pissed off. And you don't want me pissed off at you. Pissing me off means a lot of suffering for you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, ma'am."

"And you understand that if you break probation once I will not ever issue a second time for you, correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you now? Because I don't like being lied to. It makes me a very unhappy person. Do you want me unhappy?"

"Absolutely not, ma'am."

"Mhmm." She gave him a hard look before speaking again. "I understand you wanting to see your creations again. I'm a carrier myself. I don't believe you will harm your creations. But I don't think I'm entirely convinced on the safety of your mate. I reviewed everything about your court case and the things you did to him. You did some pretty terrible stuff to that poor mate of yours. And you weren't ashamed of it. Why would you be now?"

"Ma'am, I have been in this prison for seven stellar cycles. I've been beaten by guards, by other inmates, and have felt the life of being a victim to those you are unable to fight back against. I do not wish to cause my trinemates to go through that any longer. I love them, and if I must change myself to show that love, to make them happy, to not cause them to suffer, than I will."

"Hmm." The warden was quiet as she thought. "Thundercracker, I want to believe you. I know you love your creations. You talk about them non-stop. And I do think you care at least somewhat for your mates. And I hope you're being honest when you say you will no longer harm them." She paused as she wrote something on a datapad. "You better not make me regret this. I will allow you to leave early on probation. But if you lay one digit on your mates, you will be in isolation for the next ten vorns. Do I make myself clear?"

"Transparently, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am. I promise you won't be seeing me here again."

"Oh, I _better_ not. And if I do you better pray to Primus because he'll be the only one able to save you."

"Yes, ma'am." He stood up when a guard grabbed his arm.

"Take him away." The warden gave a dismissive wave.

Thundercracker was led out, smiling as his wings gave a quick flutter. He finally was going to be free.

* * *

"I got it!" I exclaimed as I quickly ran over to the ringing communicator. I picked it up and held it to my audio receptor. "Hello?"

::Hey, gorgeous. It's so good to hear your vocalizer.:: Thundercracker's vocalizer sounded on the other end.

I faintly smiled. "Hey, love. Why are you calling? I thought you weren't allowed?"

::I wasn't. I just spoke to the warden and I have good news.::

"Yeah?"

::She finally accepted my probation plea. I'm coming home. And I'm going to hug you and never let go of you.::

"Really?" My wings perked.

::Really. I'll be let out in three orbital cycles as they complete paperwork and all that slag. So you'll have time to clean up the engex bottles.::

I smiled. "Yeah, there's a lot of those here." I fluttered my wings. "I can't wait to see you. Do you want us to pick you up?"

::Nah, I'll fly over myself. I'll give you a call when they finally kick me out the door.::

"Should I tell the Seekerlets or let it be a surprise?"

::Let's surprise them. I gotta go, now. Tell Skywarp I love him. I love you, Star. Be safe until I get there.::

"We will. Love you, too."

::Bye.:: He made a kiss sound before hanging up.

I vented a sigh as I hung up. I was excited about him coming home, but I would need to kick Skyfire out. And I had grown accustomed to him being around to help with the little ones.

"Who was that?" Skywarp perked his wings as he stood nearby.

I turned around, then hugged him. "Our trineleader is getting his probation. He'll be coming home in three orbital cycles."

"What? Really?" He said quickly.

"Shhh, we're going to surprise the Seekerlets." I kissed him on the lip plates. "We need to get this place ready for his return. And help Skyfire get somewhere else to live…"

"I'm so excited…!" He squealed quietly before kissing me on the lip plates back. "Finally, our trine will be full again."

"I know. I'm so happy." I fluttered my wings when he pressed his brow against mine. "And things will be better. I know things will be better."

"So much better." He kissed me again. "How are you going to break the news to the big guy?"

"I'll just tell him he needs to move out before Thunder comes back and murders him… Probably just move him back into a dorm."

"Have fun dealing with that."

"Blech." I rested my cheekplates on his shoulder as I hugged him. I was having mixed feelings about the return of my trineleader. And I hated it.

* * *

Skyfire was quite upset about Thundercracker returning. A little because he had to move out, but mostly because he claimed Thundercracker would just start beating the slag out of me again. I of course defended by trineleader, that pissed off Skyfire, and I found myself crying in Skywarp's room wanting to be alone after arguing with my best friend.

Not a good start to all of this…

Skywarp and I cleaned the apartment and Skywarp helped Skyfire move out and back into a dorm. We got things as settled as possible, and got a cake to welcome back our trineleader.

I was excited. I was happy. But I also had no idea the hell I would soon be suffering through.

He called to inform us he was free and on his way home. I told the Seekerlets that we all should watch a movie in the living room and hang out. The adolescent ones were kind of grumpy about it, but I made them do it. While everyone was watching the film, all of us bunched up on the two couches, and my youngest on my lap, there was a knock on the door before it opened.

"I'm home, my loves." Thundercracker smiled when he entered.

So many wings perked at once as the younglings all turned, their optics widening. Then the happiest squeals escaped their vocalizers.

"SIRE!: They all shouted, leaping up and running into his open arms. All of them except for Zephyr.

"My sparklings!" Thundercracker hugged his creations best he could. Two were almost adults, two were going through puberty, and one was already too big for me to carry any longer. So, he had to give more individual hugs. "I missed you guys so much."

"I thought you had three more stellar cycles?" Storm asked.

"I got out on good behavior." Thunder nuzzled his olfactory sensor with his eldest son's.

"You on probation?" Dawn inquired.

"I am. Of course there's no reason since I've never acted up in the first place."

Sierra barked her old femme bark, not sure who this new person was, but not angry since the Seekerlets were so happy to see him. She quickly made her way over to me, determined to ensure I would not fall victim to whatever spell Thundercracker had the younglings under. But, I betrayed her.

I got up and walked over to my trineleader, hugged him, and fluttered my wings when he hungrily kissed me on the lip plates. "I missed you."

"I missed you more, gorgeous." He smirked.

I sheepishly smiled, pressing my brow against his. "Don't get thrown in jail again. Or else."

"I promise I won't."

"Mmm!" Skywarp forced his way in and hugged Thundercracker. "Now you can get a job and I can go back to being a housemate." He giggled.

"As long as you do a good job with that." Thundercracker kissed him.

"Sire!" Rogue shouted. "Come see my room!" She grabbed his servo and tugged.

"Alright, I'm coming, princess. Don't forget to also introduce me to the dog."

"That's Sierra!" Rogue pointed. "Carrier says she's a diva."

"She is…" I grunted.

Thundercracker was smiling as he followed his youngest, her still pulling his arm. As they were passing the couches he looked up at Zephyr. My eldest flared her wings, optics glowing, engine growling, denta gritted, and displayed every single Seeker body language she could that if he got any closer she would attack and do serious damage. She was flicking her wings so hard that the hydraulics were making a loud popping noise.

Instinctively, Thundercracker flared and flicked his own wings back, but then lowered them some to show he wasn't a threat. Zephyr kept flicking hers, growling her engine, and tensing her frame. Thundercracker just looked away and followed Rogue up the stairs. And once he was out of sight did Zephyr relax.

I went straight over to my daughter, flaring my own wings. "What the hell is your problem? You do _not_ show aggression towards your sire!"

"I don't want that abusive aft near me. And if you had any self respect you would keep him away from yourself." She snapped.

"Watch it." I jabbed a digit at her, keeping my wings flared. "That mech is your sire, my mate. You owe it to him for you even being here."

"He rapes you and beats you, leaving you crying and attempting suicide."

"I'm not arguing with you again. Be nice to him. That's an order." I snapped.

"I don't follow orders that are morally wrong."

"You better pray he doesn't kick you out of the trine early."

"I would love it if he did."

I opened my mouth to say something, but instead stomped off. I was hurt enough and didn't need to make my daughter angrier at me than she already was. I went upstairs and to Rogue's room, silently watching her tell her sire everything under the sun, showing all of her stuff to him, and seeing him finally getting to be a part of her life. She needed her real sire in her life. Seven stellar cycles old and just now she could be a normal Seekerlet with both her creators there for her.

The younglings had their sire all orbital cycle, telling him everything about their lives, showing him what they have been doing for school, their toys, and of course telling him everything about Sierra. Sierra certainly grew to like Thundercracker very quickly.

Zephyr kept her distance, being aggressive whenever Thundercracker looked her way or got too close. He was cautious with her, but I felt that at any moment he may strike and put her in her place.

That night, once all the Seekerlets were in berth, Thundercracker took his trinemates to his room to reclaim what belonged to him. He hadn't interfaced with us since before he killed Crosscut. So, he was beyond horny.

"And which one of my femmes should I claim first?" He asked after shoving us both down on the berth.

"Find a femme, because I'm not." Skywarp giggled.

"Fine… Which one of you love me the most?"

"Me!" I exclaimed.

Thundercracker gave Skywarp a look when he didn't say anything. "Do you not love me?"

"I love you _bunches_. There's a difference." He giggled.

Thundercracker rolled his optics and gave Skywarp a playful shove. "You're ridiculous. Fine, Star goes first. But when I get back to you you're going to be screaming my designation."

"No, I won't. I'm going to scream Star's designation." Skywarp snickered.

"You're so weird." Thundercracker kissed him on the lip plates, then climbed onto the berth and got over me.

As I lied there on my back, feeling Thundercracker's servos pleasure my frame, roving all over me, and getting me into position, I felt… I didn't feel turned on. I started to feel… Nervous. And I didn't like that. This was my trineleader. He loved me. He was just going to bond with me. But I kept thinking about the times he had hurt me with interface and was scared that this would be the same.

His codpiece opened, and I folded mine away. I felt his hardened spike touching outside of my valve, his powerful servos grasping my wrists and pinning them to the berth above my helm. He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates just before penetrating me. I moaned into his mouth, feeling my spark pulse quickening. He started to thrust, and at first it wasn't bad, but he was eager. It had been so long since he had been in me and his lust soon took over. He started going harder and faster, pounding brutally into me. It didn't take long before coolant was leaking from my optics and I was scared. But I couldn't do or say anything. I remember the pain. I know what he would do to me if I denied him. I just had to put up with it. I had to be a good trinemate and not make a scene.

I was crying, gasping, and moaning pitifully as my servos balled into tight fists. But I behaved. I was a good, obedient trinemate. I just submitted and didn't fight him.

Skywarp was watching, his wings lowering. He remained quiet for a while before speaking. "Thunder… Thunder, hey." He put a servo on Thundercracker's shoulder. "I know you're excited, but you're hurting him. Slow down."

Thundercracker flicked his wings, annoyed, but then took a moment to study my face. He vented a sigh, and kissed me on the lip plates. "Alright. I'll slow down." He took a moment, then resumed thrusting, but was much gentler about it.

I was able to relax some, keeping my optics on his, but I still wasn't turned on. He had his way with me and overloaded twice into me, and I only overloaded once. He then pulled out and had his way with Skywarp, then came back to me for another round, then Skywarp again. Once he was satiated, he lied on the berth, pulling us close on either side of him. We curled into his chassis, happy to have our trineleader back. But I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. I just felt… nervous. Like, things weren't right.

I pushed those thoughts away, telling myself that everything would be better because of Thundercracker's presence. Nothing bad would ever happen again. I was safe, he was home, and things would be uphill for now on.

Such lies.

* * *

The next morning Thundercracker checked the entire apartment. Everything. Making sure it was in proper order. Thankfully, it was. My aft was spared a beating that orbital cycle. But I already noticed a change in him. He was just… quieter. More distant. And cautious. Prison had changed him, and I was just beginning to learn how much it had.

"Where are you going?" He asked me as I was starting to walk out the door.

"Um work?" I perked my wings.

"I'm back. You don't need to work anymore."

"But… You don't have a job yet." I said slowly.

"It won't take me long to get another job. It's my job to provide for the trine. Not yours."

"I have a responsibility to my students. I need to teach them. I can't just quit the moment you get home."

"You shouldn't be working. You're my submissive. Your job is to stay home and take care of the sparklings, submit, and keep the apartment clean."

I swallowed. "Can I work until you get your new job? T-to ensure a constant flow of Shanix?"

He thought for a moment, then vented a sigh. "Very well. But once I have my new job you're staying home."

"Yes, sir." I gave an incline of my helm and quickly walked out the door. I transformed and flew off, feeling devastated about that. I loved my job. I love working, and making Shanix, and feeling independent with my finances. Going back to being a stay-at-home-carrier upset me. I love my femmes, but I don't want to be home all orbital cycle caring for them like before. I liked being with my students, my new coworker friends, and having my own Shanix I can spend on whatever I want without having to ask for permission.

I wished he would not find a job for a while so I could keep working.

I think Primus actually heard me that time because he didn't find a job. Thundercracker started to send out applications, he searched long and hard, but no one would even grace him with an interview. He had gone to jail for domestic violence, after all. No one wanted a Conjunx beater working for them. And not getting a job was frustrating and stressing him. I found myself often just grabbed and thrown into his room because he needed some stress relief. He of course chose me to interface more than Skywarp. I just submitted and let him have his way with me. It wasn't too bad. Just annoying because I didn't want it and was always when I was trying to do homework or grade papers. Not very easy doing those when he bites so hard.

But, I just stayed a good submissive for him.

Orbital cycles soon turned to orns and he still couldn't find a job. He was annoyed that Zephyr had a job and he still didn't. And soon Storm and Dawn graduated high school, family came and visited - minus Steelwing and his trine - and before long Dawn and Storm had jobs. But not Thundercracker.

Skywarp even found a better job and was enjoying it. Basically, everyone was doing better than Thundercracker. And he was becoming depressed. He hid it. He was a trineleader and had to. I knew Zephyr hating him depressed him. I could see it. But not being able to provide for his trine upset him as well. And it made me think more about the myth that trineleaders were perfect and were the ones to provide for the trine. My trineleader had cried, my trineleader had made mistakes, he lost a job and couldn't find another, he was depressed, he was changed, he was… Not the perfect leader, protector, and provider that trineleaders were said to be. And as I watched him fall…. As I watched him sink into the bowels of depression… I thought maybe he shouldn't be leading.

Zephyr was now 23 stellar cycles, Dawn and Storm 18, Tempest and Skyblast 13, and Rogue 8. My sparklings were growing up so fast, and with now three of them working and Skywarp and I both getting better pay we not only were able to get Sierra the surgery she needed for her knees, but we were doing great financially. Which meant I could pamper my daughters and nephews more, and get things for my trinemates. Thundercracker didn't seem happy about this, but I still tried to please him.

I would say things were going great, minus when Thundercracker would force me to interface, and the couple of times he did give me an aft beating, but it wasn't like past beatings, nor as often. Then, something tragic happened, and I don't know if this was meant to be a way of helping me or not, but it did change my future.

"Hey, you know what I want to do?" I smiled as I snuggled against my trineleader on the couch.

"Mmm?" He grunted, not looking at me.

I just fluttered my wings and cuddled closer. "I want to go dancing. Have a romantic date. You and me."

"Dancing?" He grunted.

"Yeah. It looks like fun." I fluttered my wings.

"Star, Seekers don't dance. We're warriors, not weak grounders."

"But, it would just be for fun…" I drooped my wings.

"No, Starscream. No dancing and no 'romantic date.' I already trined you." He snapped, not even looking at me.

I looked down, wings low, saddened by that. I had just wanted to dance…

The communicator started to go off, and Thundercracker got up to answer it. I stayed on the couch, wishing I wasn't a Seeker so I could do things that grounders did. It seemed like they could have all the fun while I just had to make sparklings, obey, and stay at home.

"Hello?" Thundercracker answered the communicator. "Hey, carrier, what's u-" He paused. "What's wrong? Carrier, why are you crying?"

I perked my wings, watching him. Did Steelwing do something to her? To Gale?

Thundercracker's optics slowly widened, then something I thought I would never see again happened. Coolant began to pool in his optics as he covered his mouth with his free servo. He started to shake his helm, as if in disbelief, then the first of his sobs escaped.

"H-he can't be! I-…. I'll come, carrier. I'll be there. I-is sire there? Don't do anything. I'm coming. D-do you need me to call any of the others?... Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming, carrier. No, don't be. Th-this isn't your fault. I'll be there by tomorrow. I promise." He paused, nodded his helm, then said farewell before hanging up. He turned to me, wings low, quickly wiping at his optics, but he wasn't calming down.

"What's wrong..?" I asked softly, anxious because it wasn't right for him to be crying.

"M-my brother, Darkstorm… H-he was shot by a grounder." He swallowed, trying to control himself, but more sobs just escaped. "H-he's dead. Th-they found him o-on the street dead!"

My spark dropped, optics widening. I had met a few of his brothers, he had fifteen, and Darkstorm was one of those I had talked to. He was very bubbly. Quite different from Thundercracker. Darkstorm had taken more after Borealis and laughed, talked, and always had to be doing something. I had liked him. He was the last one I ever expected to be murdered since he got along with everyone. But, grounders hate Seekers. All of us are in danger.

I got up and hugged my trineleader. He hugged me back, trying to calm down still.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, trying to regain control of his cycling.

"No, don't be. It's okay to cry. It's not right that this has happened." I kissed him on the cheekplates. "What do you need me to do? I'll come with you. I'll do whatever you ask of me."

"I need to go to Vos and see my family. A-and be there for the funeral."

"I'll be with you. Zephyr, Dawn, and Storm can watch the younger ones. We'll just leave the Seekerlets here."

"You have work."

"I'll call and tell them there's been a death in the family and I need time off. They'll understand." I looked up at him, seeing sadness, confusion, and shock in his optics. No one expected this and it was just out of nowhere. I cupped his faceplates and kissed him on the lip plates. "I'm here. You're not alone. I'll never leave you." I paused. "Let's pack so we can leave first thing in the morning. And I'll tell the Seekerlets."

"I can do it."

"Let me. You need to just… Not worry about anything right now. I'll take care of the Seekerlets, and I'll pack for you. Just… rest in your room."

He seemed like he wanted to say something, but instead slowly nodded his helm. He kissed me on the lip plates, then went to his room.

I stayed there, wings low, not sure what to do. I couldn't imagine what it was like to lose a sibling. Not at this time of my life, at least. And the thought of losing one of my siblings, my creators, my trinemates, or one of my creations filled me. And it terrified me. I swallowed, keeping myself from crying at the mere thought. I honestly didn't know how I would be able to function without my family, trine, or creations in my life.

I went to be with him, and he just held me and Skywarp all that night. No interface, no ordering us around, just holding us. I guess the thought of losing us had come to his processor as well, because he refused to let us go. He managed to hold his emotions in for most of the night, but I did online hearing him crying.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I informed the Seekerlets what had transpired and that I and my trinemates were leaving for Vos. The Seekerlets certainly were uncomfortable when they saw their sire crying. They hadn't even thought that was possible.

We flew to Vos, and Thundercracker was confused why I was on the right side of him rather than the left, but didn't ask. We still hadn't told him I had dominated Skywarp. But, he remained silent for the long flight. When we arrived at his creators' apartment the entire family was there. Thundercracker's siblings and their trines, TC's aunts and uncles with their trines, and his grandcreators. It was crowded, I felt so out of place, so I just held my trineleader's servo. I hated being around strangers. It just felt like everyone was watching me, judging me, hating me, and I wanted to be back home. But, I was here for Thundercracker. He needed me.

Borealis was a mess, bawling her spark out as her remaining seven sons and eight nephews all were comforting her. Gale was crying as well, and Steelwing… He wasn't crying, but there was sadness in his optics. He was hiding his emotions well. I knew he was upset because he didn't threaten or insult me. It was as if I didn't exist.

While everyone was comforting Borealis, and I barely was able to get in and give her a hug, I found myself sitting next to one of the trinemate's to one of Thunder's older brothers. No one had brought their creations, since this was something hard to put little ones through, but she had a very young sparkling, about four decacycles old. I couldn't help myself and soon found myself holding the little one. I had mixed feelings. I wanted another little sparkling like this one, so small, giggling when you made faces at her, and everything special about sparklings. But, then again I didn't want anymore until after I graduated, got my career job, and could settle down more. I knew Thundercracker was going to spark me again. I knew it would be before I was ready. I knew I would have no say in the matter. I hated it, I was scared when the time would come, but I just had to remind myself of the reward in the end.

Skywarp soon joined me and we just hung back, listening to everyone, feeling out of place. I was thankful when evening came and most of the family left to go home for the night. Thundercracker took us to his old berthroom, and needing to relieve some stress, forced himself onto us. I remained quiet, submissive, and allowed him to do as he pleased with my body, even though I wasn't in the mood. He needed some comfort anyway, so I wasn't going to fight him on it. I didn't even protest when he bit my nape too hard.

I cuddled against him when he was satisfied, thinking about what I had heard earlier. His brother, Darkstorm, had apparently been on the ground, in the streets, outside of a bar. They think he probably was going for a drink. Darkstorm was bold and not afraid of the ground like most Seekers. And that was his first mistake.

He had been outside this bar, and a fight broke out between some drunk grounders. It wasn't a typical drunken brawl, but escalating pretty quickly. No one was stopping it, instead filming it, cheering, and laughing. Darkstorm knew someone was going to be seriously hurt or possibly killed, so he ran in to stop it. When he was trying to pull the fighters apart, they turned on him. And the crowd approved. He was soon swarmed by an angry mob claiming he was trying to kill those two intoxicated brutes all because he was a Seeker. Darkstorm was over powered and couldn't fly away. He was being punched, kicked, and bludgeoned, then, someone pulled out a gun and shot him.

Darkstorm was left lying on the street, wounded, heavily leaking, and disoriented. No one called for an ambulance. He was left there to leak out all of his energon, people walking by ignoring him, poking him with rods, kicking him, and taking pictures. And he died like that. Cold, alone, ignored, and treated like just some object. And when police finally found out it had been two orbital cycles since he had died. The intoxicated grounders who had started the fight told the police that Darkstorm assaulted them, and despite all the videos of the entire incident, the police still blamed Darkstorm for what happened and no one was charged with murder. Instead, his death was listed as "self defense" by the mob.

And it took another two orbital cycles before Steelwing even got a call about his son's body being found. Darkstorm's body hadn't even been stored properly at the morgue and was on the way to being recycled by the time Steelwing got there.

And all of this injustice, hate, and violence because Darkstorm was a Seeker. Because we are such a hated creature. Because we became what we had to in order to survive against this hatred, this ignorance, this corruption.

My sire had been contacted about this case, and despite his influence and power, he couldn't get the information about who the attackers were. All he could find out was that they fled Vos to escape his jurisdiction. At least they were smart enough to know to fear the Alpha.

But, another Seeker had been viciously murdered, no justice for him, and left behind grieving loved ones. Such a cruel, awful world we lived in, and I hated it all so much. I wished I could do something to change things, to stop Functionism, to remove the corrupt Senate, to just… Make everyone equals and no more hate crimes.

I wanted to be part of a movement for peace, justice, and equality. Little did I know at the time that I would be helping lead such a movement that would change the entire galaxy for the rest of time.

* * *

The next orbital cycle was the funeral. Vos is an old city state. Seekers have always lived in her, since before she was even a city. Used to be nothing but mountains and we would live in that uninhabitable terrain, high on cliffs, away from grounders, nesting in the crevices to raise our young. And as the Seekers evolved, as buildings, towns, and cities came to be, and Vos grew from this mountainous land into what she is now, Seekers had been burying our dead beneath her. From the old caverns beneath the mountains, now they were beneath a city and the caverns, a catacomb long, intricate, and guarded, held hundreds of generations, thousands of Seekers, all in family plots. We're a warrior culture, death is a very strong concept in our lives, and therefore the dead are treated with honor, respect, and care. We always bury our dead, and always in the catacombs. Even if killed off world we make sure to bring our dead home so they can be with their family, their trine, and all the other fallen warriors.

To keep their honor even after death. To keep dignity, love, and respect to the person they were.

So, it was here in the cold, dark catacombs, gathered tightly in a chamber, that I found myself paying my respects to Darkstorm as he was laid to rest in a grave with those of his family. Even though I didn't really know him, I was crying as his brothers, creators, and other family members talked about him, remembering who he was. It was a solemn reminder of our own mortality, despite our longevity making us forget at times that even we can fall victim to death's cold grasp.

And being at this funeral, seeing Thundercracker cry, hearing those spark-broken words of a devastated carrier… It made me think about when I had attempted suicide. I almost put my trine, my beloved carrier, and my precious daughters through this same scene. I hated myself for that. I never wanted to ever hear or know that my carrier lost one of her own and had to kiss her sparkling goodbye before they were lowered into the ground, never seen again. My carrier, my family, they should never have to go through that.

I just had to hug my trineleader tightly, feeling comforted when he held me close.

When the funeral was over and all goodbyes said, we returned to the apartment. Not all of Thundercracker's siblings came along. Most just wanted to return home to continue their mourning. But, six of his siblings and their trines stayed with their creators to comfort them. I stayed close to my trineleader, never leaving his side. And the rest of the orbital cycle went well. Minus all the crying and mourning, of course. But, as things settled and calmed down, and people started to try to get their minds elsewhere so they wouldn't lose themselves in the pits of depression, that's when focus started to go places I didn't like.

It was that evening and I was seated at a large table, well, several tables put together, with the rest of Thundercracker's family. I sat to Thunder's right and Skywarp to his left. Everyone was just talking about anything that wouldn't leave them a bawling mess over Darkstorm again. Tank was underneath the table eating the scraps that Thundercracker's brothers kept slipping him. I leaned against my trineleader, optics dim, listening to his engine, hydraulics, and fuel pump quietly working inside of him. Then, I heard my designation spoken.

"Starscream, are you actually happy to have your trineleader back?" Steelwing grunted. Ugh, I hate him!

I perked my wings, then lowered them in submission. I hugged Thundercracker, just wishing that aft would leave me alone. I just don't understand why he hated me with such passion and always had to pick on me. He was such a schoolyard bully.

"He is." Thundercracker said softly, stroking my helm. "He's been very well behaved since I got out. Hasn't even denied me interface." He lifted my chin and kissed me on the lip plates. "I think my absence made him learn to appreciate me better." He kissed me again.

Ha!

Steelwing snorted. "Appreciate you? Behave better? Little punk is trying to get on your good side to hide everything he's been doing. He had that shuttle living in your home. Undoubtedly fragging it as well."

My wings flared and optics narrowed. I turned to face Steelwing, pushing Thundercracker's servo away from my chin. "Skyfire was helping us. I had just given birth and couldn't care for a newly emerge and also get a job to provide for my family. I needed help. Skyfire provided his assistance, time, energy, and even Shanix to help us pay rent, take care of the Seekerlets, and aided me in getting a job. You owe that shuttle for your grandcreations having a roof over their helms and energon in their fuel tanks." I snapped, wings flaring.

Steelwing flared his own wings back, much larger than mine own, making him clearly the dominant. "I do not owe a shuttle anything. Watch how you speak to me, submissive. I'll cut out your glossa even with your trineleader present."

Thundercracker growled his engine, wings flaring, making it clear he did not approve that statement. I leaned against my trineleader again, knowing he would protect me.

"Your preferred breeding mate dumped maggots on me and got a restraining order against me." Steelwing sipped from his glass, saying it all so casually.

Thundercracker shot his optics at me, wings flaring. "You did what?"

I lowered my wings. "H-he beat me… I was scared…" I said softly, quickly, not wanting to be hurt.

Thundercracker than glared at his sire. "I told you never to touch my trinemates." He snapped, wings flicking.

"He was disrespectful and acting up. He needed a beating." Steelwing replied as if he was speaking about the weather.

"Starscream and Skywarp are mine. They belong to me and only I lay my servos on them." Thundercracker growled. "No one else is allowed to touch them."

"Discipline them properly and then I won't need to do it for you."

"I do discipline them properly. They're not misbehaving, are they? Look at them. They are being very well-behaved."

"Starscream poured maggots in my mouth while I was in recharge. That's not behaving."

"I'll handle him, not you."

"You're doing a poor job of it. He's a slut being fragged by that shuttle, he disrespects you and your family, he is a complete and utter brat who should have been killed at birth. His damn carrier should have never been bred. She's a complete waste of metal as well with the manners of a whore."

No one insulted my carrier. I flared my wings and like an idiot I spoke. "When you made me get you more energon, I spat in it."

Steelwing choked on his energon as everyone else turned horrified optics at me. Skywarp rubbed his faceplates, knowing I was done for.

"You _what_?" Steelwing snapped, wings flaring, optics burning with the fire's of hell.

"I put it in my mouth before spitting it back into the glass. And that's not all. I put my own waste in it. You drank my waste, you miserable rat." I snarled.

And I was dead. Thundercracker stood up, yanked me up with him by my arm, and dragged me over to the couch. I was shoved over the arm, my aft in the air, and immediately I regretted every life decision I had ever made.

I heard the subspace pocket open just before I felt the horrible, stinging pain of a metal cable lashing across my innocent rear end. And it struck me again, and again, and again, and again. Hard, fast, brutal, without mercy, no hesitation, and so beyond pissed.

I screamed, clutching the couch before me, doing my best to not move because I knew I would only get more if I did. I kicked, wings flicked, and wiggled, but I tried my damn hardest to keep my aft where it was so he could keep hitting it. Submitting to him.

In no time I was a bawling mess, coolant pouring from my optics, my screams mixed with sobs and sharp intakes. And the blows just kept coming without any sign of slowing down or easing up. It just kept going and going, striking my aft, my thighs, even my wings. Just the absolute worst, stinging hell across my body with not a single moment of pause.

I managed to not beg for nearly a breem, but it was so awful, such a terrible beating I soon found myself begging, screaming, just pleading for him to stop. He simply grabbed my wing with his free servo to keep me in place and continued.

I do not exaggerate when I say he gave me at least 800 lashes. It was an absolutely horrible beating, and my aft, thighs, and wings were leaking, dented, and in so much agonizing pain it was numb, just feeling this pulsating pain coming from them.

I was yanked up, still crying, and led back to the table. He roughly forced me to sit down, which hurt tremendously, and I could only cry and look away from everyone, absolutely humiliated. But no one was bothered by my beating. They were mostly joking about it. The trineleaders, at least. The submissives stayed quiet, knowing the pain, but also knowing this was just normal and nothing to think twice about. The trineleaders just thought I was untrained and pathetic with my screaming, the begging, and how I kept wiggling. Perhaps if they new the pain they wouldn't be laughing…

I needed comfort, so once Thundercracker sat down beside me I reached for him, starting to climb onto his lap. But, for the first time he shoved me away. I was confused, not sure why he would ever deny me comfort when I was so upset. I pathetically tried to get on his lap again, sobbing like a sparkling, needing someone to hold me and him just remind me he still loved me. That he hurt me out of love. But, he didn't. He shoved me away, flared his wings, and growled his engine.

"No, Starscream!" He barked, optics narrowed at me.

I just sobbed louder, reaching once more for his comfort, and he very roughly shoved me away again, almost knocking me off my seat.

"Stop!" He snapped. "You're not getting on my lap!"

I was trembling, so confused, not sure why he would ever reject me. I cautiously reached out again, and he slapped me hard across my faceplates. I was shocked and terrified, looking up at him with wide optics. He had never hurt me for wanting to cuddle with him.

"You need to grow up." He growled, then turned away from me.

I felt betrayed. Like he had stabbed me through the spark. I felt so hurt emotionally now… I started to renew my sobs, looking towards Skywarp who was also horrified. I started to go towards my trinemate, but Thundercracker grabbed my wrists and squeezed it.

"Stay sitting or else you'll get a dominating." He growled in my audio receptor like I was a misbehaving sparkling.

I obeyed. I stayed seated, trying to get myself to stop crying, wanting only to run away. To hide somewhere. To just escape this place, this reality, this life. I thought about suicide again, then how Darkstorm was lucky he no longer had to deal with these people, this world, or all these rules. I hated the rules, I hated being nothing but a slave to beat and to spark, to be owned by someone who wouldn't even comfort me after a punishment. I hated my sire-in-law, I hated my miserable life. I wanted to die. Death was the only way I could escape this world. Please, just let me die!

I stayed there feeling sorry for myself, wishing death on myself and Steelwing. I managed to eventually stop crying and just let my mind wonder, keeping my optics on my servos as they wrung, not paying attention to anyone else. I found myself suddenly being grabbed by my arm and led away by my trineleader, my backside screaming in pain from the movement.

I was taken to Thundercracker's old berthroom, Skywarp in tow, then shoved on the berth. Thundercracker locked the door, got on the berth, and started to turn me over. I feebly tried pushing him away, coolant filling my optics once more, not wanting the interface, praying that I wouldn't be used. But, of course my prayers weren't answered.

I was flipped over on my front, my codpiece forced open, and he was inside me. I weakly cried, exhausted from crying so much already, and didn't fight him. It hurt. The pain from my beating now mixed with the pain of his harsh thrusting, his possessive biting, and his servos holding me far too tightly. I couldn't do anything to fight him. Just cry and submit.

Skywarp held my servo, offering me what comfort he could as I was taken against my will. It was the only comfort I got that orbital cycle.

I was used until Thundercracker was satisfied. I wasn't paying much attention to how many times he overloaded, but it was about five. And when he was done, he just shoved me over, pulled Skywarp onto the berth, and went to recharge holding us.

I curled against his broad chassis, crying my spark out. Skywarp held my servo over Thundercracker's chest, watching me, his wings low.

"I love you." He said softly.

I just cried, feeling like Thundercracker had never gone to jail, nothing had ever changed. I was back at the beginning, being beaten and taken against my will. And I was scared when he would decide to spark me.

* * *

We returned home the following orbital cycle, and I was punished for embarrassing Thundercracker in front of his family. I stayed in my room crying and messaging Gearshift for some comfort. That night, Thundercracker took me again, ignoring me when I asked him to let me rest. He hurt me.

I was thankful when I was able to go back to work and hide from my trineleader. Of course I never told his parole officer. I didn't see what he was doing as being against the law. He owned me. I was his to do as he pleased with and just had to stop being a sparkling about it.

My life was just back where it had been. I was getting punished a lot, taken against my will every night, and he was no longer comforting me after I was punished. He was just… He was different from that prison. He was more callous, no longer being gentle in any regards towards me or Skywarp. He was even quicker to punish us, he didn't spend as much time with his creations, and was very bitter and quiet. I knew he was upset about not being able to find a job, but this extended beyond that.

And I was scared for my Seekerlets, Skywarp, and nephews. Just how Thundercracker was acting, he was threatening me and Skywarp to quit because he didn't want us working, and hostility growing towards people. I was scared. I knew he couldn't lead a trine like this.

I kept thinking about life when he was in prison. Ever since I had dominated Skywarp things just had become… Amazing. Skywarp and I were equals, the fighting stopped, the interface was so powerful and loving, and I was happy. all of us were happy. It felt… proper. Like this was the way things were supposed to be. I loved it. It was the best time of my adult life. And I wanted to go back to that.

We were sinking in finances again, I was finding myself suicidal once more, and the Seekerlets were scared, stressed, and could tell things were getting worse. Something had to be done. Something drastic.

If things got better when I dominated and became equals with Skywarp… Maybe things would get better if I took over Thundercracker? I mean, I had everything going so smoothly before, I definitely could lead a trine until Thundercracker was better, right?

I am just going to say this now… This part of my life was not easy, it was absolutely awful, and writing about it was difficult. I had to keep taking breaks to get through just remembering this.

Rogue was almost 9 stellar cycles old when I made my first attempt. I walked over to Thundercracker, who was sitting on the couch, and stood before him.

"Hey, could I talk to you about something?" I perked my wings, remaining calm, even though I was screaming and trembling on the inside.

He turned to me, muting the TV. He watched a lot of TV lately, since no one wanted to hire him and he was avoiding his own creations. "What about?"

I swallowed. "Sir… Thundercracker… I know things have been hard lately. You struggling to find a job, all the stress from being locked away, drama in our trine… I know it's hard for you coming from the prison, so much changing, and you unable to provide for the trine."

He raised an optical ridge. "Your point?" He grunted, not amused.

"I… During your absence Skywarp thought he could take care of the trine and Seekerlets, but he wasn't able to. I was doing all the work. And it frustrated him and he tried to take over, we fought, and I won, dominating him. I have been leading the trine, providing for, and handling the finances for stellar cycles now. I know you want to continue your role of being the provider, but given circumstances at the time, I think it's best I remain in control of finances and handling the trine until you are ready to take over again. Given your mental state and lack of a job-"

He leaped to his peds, towering over me, wings flared, and optics glowing. "My mental state!?" He roared. "You dare challenge me based on my mental state!? You dare challenge me, _period_?!"

I stumbled back, terrified. "I-I don't mean to be trineleader!"

"Oh, of course not. You just want to do everything that a trineleader does. Provide, care for, and be in charge of the trine." He stepped towards me.

"Please, Thundercracker, I-I-"

"You will not dominate over me. You're a submissive and always will be." He growled.

"I am trying to do what's best for the trine!"

"You only will bring us down! You're not leadership material, Starscream. You're weak, scared, submissive, and cowardly!"

"I AM NOT!" I shrieked. "I cared for the trine during your absence! I ensured we kept this apartment! That our creations had energon and stayed in school! I have done so much for this trine! And you are not fit to lead at this time!"

He slapped me across the faceplates hard. I took two quick steps back, a servo rubbing where he had struck me.

"You want leadership? Why? So you can prove something?" He snarled in my faceplates.

"I want to ensure my daughters don't ever starve or are homeless." I managed to say firmly despite how terrified I was.

"My creations are best with me leading."

"Ever since you were freed, and then losing your brother, you have become inept at leading. You haven't even paid the damn rent since returning. You are incapable of providing for us at this time. I am. And I will not let you take me away from my job and leave my daughters and my nephews homeless." I flared my wings. "I will be the responsible adult since you clearly can't be."

And I was dead.

He lunged, I leaped aside barely managing to dodge him. I knew I couldn't defeat him in direct combat, so I activated my thrusters, needing to get some distance. But he knew what I was trying to do. He wasn't stupid. He released a sonic boom, I lost balance for the briefest of moments, and he grabbed my ankle, then slammed me against the floor. And once he had me… I couldn't escape.

He was on me in an instant, the punches raining down. I tried blocking, I tried escaping, but it was hopeless. He then grabbed my wing and dragged me to his room. I was thrown against the berth, stunned from the awful blows to my helm. I touched my lower lip plate, energon oozing out of it and my mouth. Then, he grabbed me, pinning me down, and chains were tied to my ankles and wrists, tethering me to the berth.

The things he used on me were a metal cable and energon whip, primarily, but also a tawse and this thick metal rod that was just a large switch. And during this horrible beating he struck my aft, thighs, back, wings, chest, and face. And he dominated me multiple times using that barbed spike cover. And he just kept beating me, ensuring I would never stand up to him again.

I don't know how many times I was struck, I just knew it was nearly three joors of this beating, the dominatings, the torture, my vocalizer breaking, before I fell into stasis lock.

* * *

I onlined in a hospital. The lights were bright, my body aching, and my helm dizzy. I felt so weak, so out of it. It took me a bit before I could remember what happened. All the pain, the fear, the… I started to tremble, coolant leaking from my optics. Then I felt something squeezing my servo. I slowly turned my helm, it hurting so much, and saw Skywarp sitting there, holding my servo, wings low, and optics slowly brightening. He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates, his engine purring softly.

"I love you." He said quietly.

"Where's Thunder?" I weakly asked.

"In the waiting room… I don't know what's going on with him."

I swallowed. I know people will judge me for this, say I was an idiot, and attack me. But, I was still not free from the lies I had been made to believe.

"He didn't do it." I said quickly.

Skywarp perked his wings. "What?"

"He didn't hurt me. D-don't let them take him back to prison. I-I was attacked by grounders. H-he didn't hurt me."

"Star, if they find out you're lying…"

"He didn't do it!" I swallowed. "I-I was attacked by grounders… I'm a Seeker. We're attacked by grounders all the time."

He rubbed over his faceplates, tired, then slowly nodded. "Fine… Grounders did this."

"Where are my daughters?"

"Zephyr is at work. I haven't called her yet. Dawn is on her way, and the younger two are still home unaware. Storm is also on his way."

"He didn't do this. He didn't." I repeated softly, looking away now.

"Why did this happen?" Skywarp inquired, his optics on my servo as he stroked it with a thumb.

"I… I told him maybe I should watch the trine until he got a job. Because things have been sinking as he's been keeping me from going to work. A-and I'm not risking my daughters or nephews living in a poor house because of his pride."

"You challenged him?"

"Not precisely."

"Star, you know what happens when you challenge. He could have killed you."

"He didn't. He won't."

"Well, now we have a lot of slag to shift through to make sure he doesn't get thrown in jail…"

"He risked his freedom bringing me here."

" _I_ risked his freedom. I teleported you away from him…" He flicked his wings.

"You didn't tell Skyfire, right?"

"Negative. He has no idea."

"Good."

"Promise you won't challenge him again."

"I didn't challenge him."

"Star, don't take the leadership role. You're a submissive, _I'm_ a submissive, and Thundercracker is our dominant. That's how the system is. We listen, we obey, or else we end up in a hospital berth with nothing left of our rear ends. You need to, for _once_ in your life, listen to authority."

"But authority isn't always right. Thundercracker is not right in the helm right now. The prison and losing his brother has changed him."

"He's still our dominant."

"He's going to throw us into the poor house."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because someone of sound mind won't be trying to force me away from my job when they don't even have one yet and probably never will thanks to their permanent record."

"It's his job to provide for the trine."

"It's my job to take care of my daughters and I'll be damned if anything happens to them because of theirs sire's pride o-or these slagging rules made up by some old mechs hundreds of vorns ago!" I snapped, my optics narrowed.

"Calm down." He vented a sigh. "Star… I get what you're saying, but, you're a little Seeker. Like, _really_ little. Little Seekers don't lead, they follow."

"Brawn isn't the primary factor that dictates one to be of leadership quality." I replied sternly.

"You're talking like a grounder."

"Well…. Maybe they're right about some things."

"Starscream.. If you go down this path of rebelliousness… It's only going to end in pain, tears, and you losing a lot of energon. Please, for your sake, don't do this."

"The safety and well-being of my daughters always comes before my own."

"You can't fight him. You can't beat him. You're small and weak."

"I beat you."

"I'm not Thundercracker."

I paused, thinking. "Everyone has a weakness. Even trineleaders. I'll find a weakness, exploit it, and defeat him."

"How? By crying like a sparkling? You do that all the time and it has no effect on him."

"By using science, common sense, and staying ahead of him. I'm fast, he's slow. I'm smart, and he's a little… less smart."

"Starscream, how do I get this through that thick helm of yours that you can _not_ defeat Thundercracker. And even if you did how the hell would you stay dominant? He would eat you for morning refuel within the orbital cycle."

"I'll just use the gifts granted to me through Primus from my carrier."

"Your sass?"

I smirked. "My body."

Skywarp snorted. "He already owns that."

"He may own it, but he can't get me to give him the greatest sexual experiences he never imagined he could have."

"Oh? Like you know anything about giving such pleasures. Where's your experience in taking him anywhere but the turbofox style?"

"I've seen things… I'll learn, I'll pleasure him, and make him never want to bother with getting leadership back since I'll make him so damn happy being beneath me." I flared my wings. "In _both_ ways."

"Where would you like to be buried?"

"Ye of so little faith."

"If faith means being suicidal, yeah, I don't have a lot of that." He patted me on the helm mockingly. "I'll prepare for the funeral. Make sure you write in your will that I get your vid screen."

The mockery was just making me more determined to prove him and everyone else wrong. "You know what? I may be small, I may be weak, I may be scared of my own shadow, but I'm going to show you, show the world, that it's not the big, strong brutes that are meant to be leaders. I know I can lead. I know I can take care of my daughters better than him. I will defeat him, I will be trineleader, and I will _stay_ leader." I flicked my wings, pointing a digit at him.

"Prove it." He smirked.

"Watch me." I growled my engine, optics narrowed.

"Oh, I'll be watching alright. I'll be ready to warp you back to this hospital berth when he's tearing off your limbs."

"He'll be the one to lose limbs."

"You're cute when you're pissed."

"Keep it up… You'll soon be following me."

He gave a dry chuckle. "I'll give half an orn before you give up and submit to him to be sparked again."

I just glared at him, done arguing. I would prove him wrong. I would prove everyone wrong! I would be trineleader and I will provide for my family properly, since the current trineleader was not able to do so anymore.

This Seeker was stubborn, and once determined to achieve something… You _damn_ better believe it _will_ be achieved!

* * *

I told my lie, and the doctor didn't believe me, but I insisted and told him not even to report it because Seekers never get justice. He put up a fight, but I wouldn't let him win. I went home by that evening, my two eldest helping me the entire way, then all four of my spawn and my nephews helped to care for me. Zephyr got in an argument with her sire and threatened to report him, but I told her it was grounders and got her to at least not report her sire this time… Thundercracker avoided me. He took Skywarp away from me to use him, and Skywarp wasn't released for nearly a joor. He came back quite used and recharged with me for the night.

I just healed for the next few orbital cycles before I was able to I returned to work. I didn't have classes on campus at this time. I was taking a few online because I didn't want Thundercracker to try and prevent me from going to them as he was with my work. Just made things easier. But, I saw Skyfire less. I primarily just chatted with him online and with a communicator, just as I did with Gearshift. Both of them kept telling me to simply leave Thundercracker, but I of course couldn't leave the sire of my daughters. I never told them I was going to attempt becoming trineleader. I already had Skywarp calling me an idiot for it, so I just kept it to myself.

Nearly an orn after I had been hospitalized, Thundercracker started to go at me again. He would grab me, pin me down to whatever furniture or wall was closest, and force himself into me. I allowed him to rape me, now at this time I was actually starting to think of it very likely being rape, and never spoke out against it, no matter how much it hurt. And he was doing it more and more. He used to only take me against my will in the privacy of our berthrooms, but now he was doing it even in front of my daughters and nephews. I hated it. It just made me think that… If I hate this, hate being taken against my will, why am I letting this happen, but more importantly, why am I letting my daughters and nephews watch and learn that it's okay for them to be treated like this or treat someone else like this. I never wanted my daughters or my nephews to be in my position, being hurt like this, and being raped. And it tore me apart when they saw this violence happening. I found myself having to tell Rogue a little early about interface because I was scared of her walking in on Thundercracker taking me. And when I was explaining to her about rape and what qualifies as rape, I kept thinking about how all of those qualities fit what Thundercracker was doing to me. And I thought about everything Skyfire and Gearshift had ever told me. And I… I cried that night. I cried so hard, really beginning to realize that… I was a rape victim. I was being used. I was being hurt by someone who didn't actually own my body in that way. It's my body. I say who can touch it and when. I had a voice I needed to learn to use. I had to fight for myself.

But I still wasn't quite convinced. No, what gave me the final push was one of the scariest moments of my life. And that's saying something after all I've been through. And this part was beyond hard to write about.

It was nearly a decacycle since I had been hospitalized. The three eldest Seekerlets were at work, as well as Skywarp, and I was home after picking up the younger three from school. I was tired from my work orbital cycle, and kind of in a mood already because my students were an absolute pain that last period. So, upon returning home and helping the Seekerlets get some energon, I couldn't keep my mouth shut when I saw Thundercracker on the couch watching the news.

"I see you did something." I grunted. "Place looks great."

He glared at me. "I sent out more applications. What more do you want from me?" He snapped.

"Well, for starters, cleaning your slag." I gestured to the mess on the small table before the couch. "I'm not your damn maid, Thundercracker."

"You're my submissive. It's your job to clean." He said it as if I should know better.

My wings hiked. "It's my job to clean after myself and the Seekerlets. You're an adult. You can clean your own slag."

"You need to watch how you speak to me." His wings flared in warning.

"You need to actually be productive. I know you're pissed you haven't found a job yet, but guess what? You can have a job here at home and clean. I don't have the time to be a maid for you and everyone else. I have a job, I have homework, I have four daughters and two nephews to care for, and a dog. Have you even fed Sierra? Given her a bath? No? Didn't think so. Quit being lazy and clean something."

He stood up, leering over me, and despite keeping my faceplates an enigma, I almost released my waste tank.

"You want a beating?" He demanded.

"I want you to act like a responsible sire and take charge. Clean the apartment. You can start by taking out the trash." I grabbed a servoful of his trash and shoved it into his chestplates.

"I think someone needs to be reminded that they belong to me." He growled before reaching for me.

I leaped out of the way, and he lunged. I bolted, knowing I would get a horrible beating. He chased after me as I raced up the stairs and ran down the hallway. There's part of the upstairs that's like a circle, a wall in the middle of a large room basically that creates more rooms. And it was this I managed to run around enough and give him the slip. I'm fast, and got away and hid in a closet. I know, sounds not very brave, but if you ever were beaten by a pissed off Thundercracker, you would do anything to avoid the pain.

Well, I managed to stay hidden for a while before he found me. And when he did he was even more pissed off. He yanked me out of the closet by my arm, then slammed me against the wall.

"Stay." He growled into my audio receptor as he pushed me into the wall.

I swallowed, my servos resting on the wall, knowing I wouldn't be escaping him this time. So, I bent forward, keeping my aft out, as I rested my servos on the wall and leaned into them.

Thundercracker unsubspaced a metal cable, doubled it over, and began to lash my aft hard and fast. I cried out, jumping some from the pain, but did my best to stay put. I hated this position the most because it was one of the hardest to stay put in. And I knew if I moved I would only get worse. So, I just fought to stay in place as he brutally beat me.

As I was crying out and beginning to sob, I noticed Rogue was standing nearby, optics wide, horrified. She had never seen Thundercracker punish me or Skywarp before. Every time he had since coming home had been in the privacy of our rooms, or out on the balcony. But, my youngest was now exposed to the harsh reality of Seeker culture.

"Sire, stop!" She ran over, grabbing his arm and trying to pull him away.

"Rogue, go to your room." He ordered harshly, pushing her away.

"Why are you hurting carrier?!"

"He's being punished! Rogue, go to your room now."

"Stop hurting my carrier!" She was crying now, coolant in her optics.

"Tempest! Come get your sister!" Thundercracker shouted.

I felt so broken. It just didn't feel right that sparklings were suppose to grow up seeing such violence between people who are supposed to love and care for one another. If this was so normal, why did sparklings always cry when witnessing it and begging for it to end?

Tempest came and took her sister away. Rogue struggled and kept screaming for Thundercracker to stop, but he of course didn't listen. He resumed beating me, lashing my aft so hard even while Rogue was still able to see. I submitted and obeyed.

He gave me a lot. Probably close to 200 lashes before he ordered me to my room. I quickly did so and lied on my berth crying, keeping my aft pressed against the wall to protect it. I cried, and cried, and cried until I couldn't anymore. Then I just lied there thinking about how miserable and awful my life was and that I needed to be trineleader so I wouldn't be hurt so much.

Well… That evening Thundercracker came into my room and locked the door behind him. He came straight to me, still obviously angry with me. I shrunk back, feeling so small and helpless. I didn't want another beating. I just wanted no more pain. I pathetically looked up at him, wings low, being as submissive as I could to him.

"What has gotten into you that you suddenly feel like you could be trineleader?" He demanded, not entirely aggressive, but stern.

I didn't speak, just looked away. I was scared that my answer would cause him to hurt me.

"Things are changing, Starscream. You got too comfortable without me being around, and that's not going to end well for you. You need me. _I'm_ the trineleader. This is _my_ trine, you're _my_ submissive, and those are _my_ creations. You know how lenient I've been to you throughout the stellar cycles? I've moved out here to Iacon for _you_!" He jabbed a digit at me. "I _allowed_ you to go to an academy when I know in the end you won't achieve your fantasy dream. I let you befriend that shuttle and let him come over. I let you convince me that our daughters and my sons can be friends with grounders. I have provided a _family_ for you, a _roof_ over your helm, _plenty_ of energon, a warm place to recharge, and my _love_. And you are so ungrateful and full of yourself that you have the _audacity_ to claim you could lead better than me? This city and the grounders that reside in it have brainwashed you." He flicked his wings.

I didn't speak or move, just looked down, coolant slowly leaking from my optics. I was scared of another beating. I just wish they would end. I just wish I didn't have to be scared like this anymore.

"I'm not going to put up with this behavior, Starscream." He paused to study me. "You're passed due for another sparkling. Maybe caring for another will remind you your place."

My optics widened some, not wanting this. He got on the berth, grabbed me, and made me lie down in the middle of the berth. I didn't want this. I didn't want interface, I didn't want him touching me, and I did not want another. Not now. How could I ever fight him if I was sparked?

I struggled. I pushed back at him as he got over me. I became a savage beast in my struggling, trying everything I could to get away. Shoving, hitting, kicking, kneeing, even biting. But he's so strong. He pinned me down, his wings flaring, optics narrowed and glowing bright.

"Stop fighting me." He growled.

"Please, don't!" I begged, coolant pouring from my optics. "I-I don't want to interface! I-I'm not ready for another! _Please_!"

I just got a slap to the faceplates before my wrists were pinned above my helm.

"Open." He flicked his wings.

I shook my helm, crying pathetically, still struggling best I could despite him now sitting on my pelvic area.

"If you don't open I'll tear it open." He snapped.

"Please… I don't want to interface… Please, don't do this." I kept begging.

I kept struggling, and he kept getting even more pissed off. And for the first time in my life… He reached down and grabbed my codpiece before tearing it open. And it hurt. I was shocked, and I cried. I kept struggling, but he was soon in me. I started to scream, hoping maybe he would stop, or Skywarp would come in and either stop him or make him somewhat gentler, or just… something would happen. He grabbed over my mouth, silencing me, holding my face tightly, hurting me. His other servo grasped my neck and squeezed tightly, almost cutting off my intakes. And then he started to thrust with all his anger, his raw power, and just so pissed off at me to the point he did want to hurt me to punish me, but also spark me.

It hurt so much. It was like a dominating, only missionary, and him holding my face and neck. And he kept thrusting harder and faster, and I kept crying, my muffled wails only heard by us.

And as I lied there, holding his wrists, unable to fight, crying, blinded by coolant, and looking into those optics that weren't my trineleader's… I saw Brakelight. It felt like Brakelight. No love, no care, just the need, the lust in each brutal thrust. I saw Brakelight and I felt all the same terror I had when I was 5 stellar cycles old and he had raped me. He had held my mouth shut when he raped me. He had beaten me before my rape and my aft sore. He had held me down and forced himself in. He… Raped me without any care to my screams, my pleads, without care about me.

And it was here, at this moment, as I was being held down by Thundercracker and horrifically fragged against my will that it finally clicked. It finally got through to me the reality of how these things work. It finally became clear that I, Seeker Starscream of Vos, was being raped and always had been raped by my trineleader, Seeker Thundercracker of Vos.

And when that realization finally, FINALLY, dawned upon me… I screamed. I was just screaming in a bawling mess of pathetic-ness, betrayal, pain, a-and feeling like a complete idiot. Feeling so betrayed by the Seeker culture, by everyone who I had trusted, and everything I thought was right. The pain of not just the physical, but the emotional. Of being hurt and betrayed, of being made a willful slave to my abuser, my rapist, and not even realizing what those two things truly were despite knowing the words. The pain of just realizing, finally, how truly fragged up the traditional culture of Seekers was that this crime, this brutality, this injustice is looked upon as "normal," "fine," and the "birthright" of a trineleader. Of someone who is stronger than the two others they are mated to. That not just the rape, and the forced sparking, but the beatings, the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse all made to seem it was right, normal, fair, and just how one went through life.

And I hated myself. I hated myself _so much_ for believing those lies. For falling for the lies as the brainwashed sparkling I always had been. And I hated how I was not the only victim of these lies, of the lies of this fragged up society, of the lies my creators and others had been made to believe and teach. I hated being a Seeker. I hated being me. I hated everything I had done. I had wasted my life all because someone told me I had no choice in it. That I was meant to trine, to have my body owned by someone else simply because they could beat me up, that I was only supposed to be bred, raise sparklings, and keep house. That I was nothing, _nothing_ but an interface slave to someone simply because that someone had brawns.

I was in such emotional turmoil as these realizations, these truths, this acceptance flooded into me. I cried harder, I screamed, and shouted, but it was all muted by his servo as he raped me. He raped me. He didn't stop raping me. He forced me to spark bond with him. He raped me and it hurt, and I kept thinking that word: Rape. It wouldn't leave my processor. Rape. He was raping me. Using me as he pleased against my will. Rape. It was all rape. It always had been. I was a victim of rape from more than one mech. I was a victim of domestic violence. I was a victim of an abuser, a rapist, a controlling narcissist.

Skyfire, Gearshift, and so many others had been right. They always had been. And I, like the blind _idiot_ I was, refused to listen to them. Refused to see the truth. Refused to accept that I was a brainwashed sparkling living a lie, and trying to tell myself that this was just how one went through life.

I had been lied to. As has every Seeker. As has everyone who has fallen for the social norms of a corrupt, uneducated, and blind society. I was a victim just as much as all these others. We all failed to see the truth. We all failed to make the connection. And whenever we started to think for ourselves, to begin to put the pieces together, it was beaten out of us and we were humiliated, yelled at, and hurt to stay the brainless, uneducated, silent, and helpless lot we always were meant to be by those in control. By those who create and uphold the lies to benefit themselves and their selfish agendas, their greed, their sexual desires, their sick ways, their control.

It was all about control. Control for the abusers and rapists over their victims. To keep them silent and submissive. To stay above all others to make themselves feel better, empowered, and sovereign. Because the victims, the ones without a voice, we are not worth a second thought so long as the ones in control can profit off us, enjoy us as they see fit, and use us however they so desire.

And I was an idiot for staying with him for so long. I should have ran. I should have never trined. I should of taken my chance when he was thrown in prison to pack up my daughters, grab Skywarp and my nephews, and we flee to hide somewhere in Kalis or another city. I failed my daughters by keeping them around this abuser, this rapist, this… monster. I failed as a carrier by not doing the most basic job as a carrier: Protect my creations.

And _that_ realization had me crying the most.

I kept my optics on his crying, screaming, and praying. He had his way with me… He spark bonded and overloaded into me five times before pulling out and getting off the berth.

"You're not to leave this room. If you do I'll flog you." He snapped before stomping out, closing the door behind him.

I curled into myself, hugging myself as I cried. I just cried, and cried, and cried. I couldn't do anything else. I was in shock, I was absolutely trembling so hard I couldn't even get my digits to hold onto my arms. I was a mess. I was just… I don't know how to describe it. I just couldn't do anything but cry, tremble, and be in shock. I just kept thinking about how I had been raped. How I always had been raped. And what an idiot I had been. I couldn't function.

It was several joors later, and the middle of the night when I had calmed down enough that I made a call.

::Mmmm, hello…?:: Skyfire's tired vocalizer sounded.

I swallowed. "S-Sky…?" I choked out, my vocalizer raspy, weak, static still in it from all my crying.

::Star? What's wrong?:: He sounded more online now.

I started to renew my sobs, taking a moment before I could speak. "Y-you were right. You always were."

::Right about what? What happened? Talk to me, love.::

I swallowed, trembling. Then, I spoke. "He raped me."

* * *

 **I hope that realization speech hit you all nice and hard. I really let myself go with that. But it's the truth. From things such as society and parents telling you lies to eat animals, wear fur, animals are "beneath" you, to be racist, homophobic, sexist, hate religion or someone for their religion, or whatever... It's all lies we are fed and made to believe by a corrupt, fucked up society. And those who realize the truth, the vegans, the activists, the people taking a stand, we are attacked, mocked, and often times murdered. Because we refuse to accept lies, to accept the "norms" of a corrupt society. These lies created by those in power to profit. The animal agriculture profiting off the lies that humans need to eat animal products, that we're omnivores when actually we'e herbivores, that animal testing is of use when it's caused more harm than good, that women are incapable and therefore shouldn't be in the workforce, that children are supposed to be hit and yelled at, that the way a dog or human looks dictates their intelligence and job, that a species is lesser than another just because of their species, etc. All lies, all made to control people to help abusers, help the rapists, help those who profit off their victims continue to make money. So abusers don't have to be good people, don't have to change, don't have to be decent. It all comes down to benefiting themselves, no one else.**

 **When I wrote his speech when he realizes the truth, I was writing it about animal rights and the need to go vegan, actually. See how the victims all suffer the same and all deserve justice? His realization, the facts, the truth is how ALL forms of injustice, abuse, and exploitation continue and stay continuing. Through lies, through control, through making people believe that this cruelty just "has" to be done.**

 **Break the chains, realize the truth, make a change, and save your slaves and yourself from abuse, rape, murder, exploitation, enslavement, and injustice.**

 **Female wardens are scary... Based that warden scene off a scene I saw in a documentary about women's prisons... Scary woman warden in that... I never want to jail...**

 **Thundercracker's brother's death is a headcanon I've always had. Nothing new, and not done because I lost Maggie. I had been planning to put it in this story always. Just shows the discrimination Seekers go through. And also is a reflection of what happens to non-human animals. So many are injured or hunters try to kill, and they are left to slowly die, sometimes in public where many see them, but nothing is done. And this happens to wild and domestic animals. Don't keep walking. Stop and save a life.**

 **So, prison, losing his brother, Zephyr's hatred of him, the stress of not getting a job, and all this depression building up and not getting help for it is really fucking Thundercracker over. And he only knows that you have to beat and control trinemates, and breed them. He knows no other way of handling stressful situations, nor understands these feelings he's having. He's a trineleader. He can't have mental illness! So, yeah, it's fucking him up and making him worse, more aggressive, and violent. And Star is refusing to tell the probation officer anything so Thundercracker just is getting away with things.**

 **Abusers will constantly claim the goods they've done will justify the many wrongs. It doesn't. Nothing justifies harming, killing, raping, or exploiting others regardless their species, age, sex, sexual orientation, etc. And this is something you will hear abusers do CONSTANTLY. My parents, for example, keep claiming them getting me pets, toys, and letting me live in their house justifies their abuse (that they refuse to admit is abuse) and that I'm just being "ungrateful." Love is not shown through a few nice acts, then everything being cruel. It's just like when people say they "love" animals than eat them. You can't "love" someone by literally paying for them to be raped, beaten, exploited, and murdered horrifically so you can get sick off their rotten corpse. And you can't love someone by getting them some gifts then beat them all the time. That's not how love works. And if you do think that's love, you're a psychopath.**

 **Starscream's sass is rising up. He is beginning to sass and be that sassy gay mech (or is he a femme!?) that we all know and love. Near the end he sassed Thundercracker just as he does to Megatron! Sassy Starscream is BEST Starscream. Miss writing that about him in this fic! Soon, the sass will be overflowing once more and ya'll will worship me as being the best sassy Starscream writer. XD**

 **No child things hitting, killing, or harming others is okay. No child is born thinking we're suppose to eat animals, kill them, hit them or each other, or do anything harmful. Hatred is taught. Rogue hasn't been taught that this is "normal" behavior, so that's why she reacted. And Zephyr of course never accepted it as normal, as some children don't. Those are the children who grow up vegan or vegetarian. Or people like me that despite being forced to be part of the bad we still fought best we could against it and now are extremely avid opponents to the lies, the abuse, the corruption, the slavery, and the killing.**

 **I hope you guys were quite moved by this chapter. It took Starscream 20 chapters, 605 PAGES, to realize he's being abused. Or, for the amount I've spent writing this thus far... 5 months! Oh, and _Illicitus_ was 606 pages long. This story is already basically as long as that fic of mine. And this fic STILL has quite a ways to go.**

 **Am I insane? Absolutely. But, due to me being insane you all get these lovely, educational robot pornography that is teaching you the hard truths of the world, entertaining you, and... Yeah, gay robot porn. It's obviously a good thing. :P**

 **Tell people you learned all about animal and human rights by reading gay, robot porn... That's a first. XD**

 **I expect you all will be unable to stay seated while reading the next chapter. The shit will hit the fan. And it's gonna be a mess. :P**


	21. Fighting Back

**Chapter 21**

I didn't recharge that night. I stayed up talking to my best friend, crying, trembling, barely holding myself together. He tried calming me, he was crying, so upset that I was upset, and just trying to help me.

I had to hang up on him when morning finally came and Thundercracker entered my room. I was forced to lie down. I begged, I pleaded, I started to cry, but he ignored me and raped me. And since I finally realized this was rape I'm going to call it as it is for the rest of this story. It's rape. Simple as that.

He only overloaded and spark bonded with me twice before leaving me be. I cried for a couple of breems before Skywarp came in, cuddling with me, kissing me, and licking my faceplates, trying to comfort me. I could only hug him and cry. I just couldn't function. I just kept thinking over and over how I had been living this lie, being abused, and raped, and just… Letting it all happen because I had been lied to. And everything my carrier, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandcreators, everyone was suffering from these lies, this control, the abuse and rape… And I just wanted it to end. To be free. But I didn't know how to end it for everyone. I just knew the only way I could end it for me was if I took over as trineleader. I knew I couldn't leave Thundercracker. I just…

I know this sounds ridiculous, I know most, if not all, of those reading this will think I'm an idiot, that I'm here thinking "but he'll change!" or I'm just "stricken" with love, or something like that. But the truth is… As hard as it sounds… I do love Thundercracker. I did feel like he just wanted to provide for the trine and care for us. He just… Didn't know any other way because of these lies. He never seemed to be the bad guy to me. That deep down… He was just as trapped in this traditionalism as I was. And I wanted to save him from it as well.

I also just… He is the sire to my daughters, and I didn't want them being taken away from their sire. He really is a great sire. He loves his creations, pampers them, and is there for them. Right now, at this point in time, he was different from the prison, but I felt he would heal from it and go back to loving and being there for his creations.

Maybe I should had left him… There's a lot of things I should had done different in my life… Like I really should of used my spike to stir Steelwing's drink when he had made me get him more energon and I spat in it. Such regrets…

I digress. I stayed with my abuser because I loved him, I wanted my creations to have their sire in their life, and I felt I could somehow change things. I am not saying everyone should stay with their abuser for these reasons. I'm probably a slagging idiot to have. I mean, I didn't really know anything at this time. I was still basically an adolescent with what I knew about the world… But if you are living with an abusive mate, or abusive creators, or whatever… Get out. Don't stay with those who hurt you. Doesn't matter their biological relationship to you, if they were the ones to take your virginity, whatever. Don't stay with your abusers, don't give them a chance to keep harming you, report them, and seek out help. Don't stay like I did.

That being said, I'll continue.

Skywarp managed to get me to drink some energon, and stayed with me, holding me, and being there for me. It took me a while before I could speak to him, finally calming down.

"Warp?"

"Yes, sexy?" He nuzzled his olfactory sensor against mine, engine purring, and wings fluttering.

I paused before speaking. "He raped me…"

His wings perked, looking at me with confusion and worry, ready to kill whoever hurt me, but also not sure what the hell I was talking about. "What?"

"Thundercracker… He raped me." I repeated quietly, not looking at him. "H-he hurt me… A lot… I was really scared… He held my mouth shut and…" I wiped at my optics as coolant started to leak. "H-he really hurt me."

Skywarp's wings lowered, and he vented a heavy sigh. "Sweetie… I know he can be rough sometimes, but he's not raping us. We belong to him."

I shook my helm. "He raped me. He's been raping us since the beginning…"

"Star, interfacing someone and then regretting it isn't rape…"

"I never said that. Him… When he forces himself on us after we verbally tell him 'no' and try to push him off, but he takes us anyway. That's rape. He's been raping us a-and abusing us."

"Star… I know punishment is unfair sometimes, I know him taking us when we don't want it sucks, but, what choice do we have? He punishes us because he loves us, and he has every right to do what he wants with our bodies. We belong to him. The moment he first dominated us after trining we became his. And it's a wonderful thing to be trined to someone who cares about us as much as he does. I know some things he does I hate… I'm against chaining and collars, and whips, but… I'm not trineleader. He is. So I have to accept those things from him."

"We were lied to, Warp. We don't need to accept it. He doesn't own our bodies. _We_ own our bodies. This is my body, my spark, and I say who can touch it and when. I say whether I'm beaten or not. I say…" I swallowed. "I say whether I am sparked or not. _Not_ him. Not anyone, but _me_!" I pointed to myself for emphasize, coolant still leaking from my optics as I finally looked at Skywarp. "I don't care what you say, I don't care what lies y-you still believe. But I'm not going to be his interface slave any longer. I-I-I'm going to become trineleader a-a-and end this! I'm going t-to end the abuse, th-the raping, a-and being sparked against my will!"

Skywarp was silent a moment before speaking. "Star… Please don't. He's only going to beat you, and if you don't stop… I don't want you being killed."

"He's not going to kill me. I'm his trophy mate. The little prince with the perfect curves, the body best for breeding, good CNA, healthy sparklings, a-and a satisfying frag. I'm too valuable to him.. He wants everyone to see his spike in me and won't want to lose those bragging rights of his for bagging a prince as a submissive."

"You give yourself too much credit…"

"You've said so yourself my interface appeal, how wonderful I am to frag, and my wide hips optimal for sparkling birth. I'm a prize, and he's not losing that. And therefore… No matter what I do he won't kill me nor leave me in a ditch.. I am going to become trineleader, I'm going to _stay_ as trineleader, and I'm going to save us from him, from the abuse, the rape, a-and make our lives happy. _All_ of us."

"I _seriously_ think you are going to die."

"I'm _going_ _to_ die living like _this_!" I gestured to anything and everything. "Already attempted suicide once…"

"Star… You're a submissive. You just don't have the confidence, the-the bold, commanding nature to be a trineleader."

I glared at him. "You _seriously_ think I don't have confidence?"

He shrugged.

"Fine. I'll show you confidence." I tossed my helm to the side, being a diva about it. "No more hiding back from me. If that's what you want."

"Don't go flashing people…"

I rolled my optics. "Of how _tempting_ that is… I have better things to do…"

"Please, don't get yourself killed." He said before kissing me on the cheekplates.

"I won't. I promise." I turned back to him to press my brow against his.

He cupped my faceplates in his servos before kissing me on the lip plates. "I love you. No matter what, I love you." He paused. "So, much so I'm teleporting you to the washroom and showering with you. And you're going to need some new paint down there. Spa orbital cycle for you, my love." He faintly smiled.

I purred my engine, appreciating his love. "I'll accept that."

He kissed me on the lip plates before teleporting me into the washroom and helping me remove the signs of my rape and beating. After I looked somewhat decent. I walked out and took care of the Seekerlets and Sierra. I didn't speak to Thundercracker. I cleaned up his mess, not looking at him, and I went about my orbital cycle as if he didn't exist.

At about mid orbital cycle he grabbed me, took me to his room, and raped me again. After the act he let me go and I tried to do some homework. That night, he came into my room and raped me. Skywarp recharged with me, holding me as I cried into his chassis.

* * *

I was terrified of Thundercracker. I avoided him at all costs, scared of being beaten, scared of being raped, but I knew I couldn't avoid him forever. He came into my room or grabbed me about every three joors or so to rape me and spark bond with me. I was so scared of him I would tremble simply seeing him walk by. And I hardly could control myself when he raped me.

On orbital cycles I worked, things were not so different. I onlined in the morning, he came into my room and raped me. I left for work with the three youngest, dropped them off, and taught my classes. I picked up the youngest, I returned home, and he immediately raped me. Sometimes he waited until after I helped the younger three get some energon and ask them if they needed help with their homework, sometimes he took me the moment I stepped through the door. I would then either go to my room to grade papers and do homework, or first take Sierra and a couple of the Seekerlets to the park to get the dog some exercise in and let the Seekerlets run around. Just try to keep their lives as normal as possible. On orbital cycles that Zephyr was home early and could take Sierra and her younger siblings to the park, I went to my room or cleaned the apartment. Always about three joors after returning home from work, or right when I got back from the park, Thundercracker would rape me. And at night, just before going to berth, you guessed it, he raped me again. Every time he spark bonded with me. Every time he was rough. Every time I cried and asked him not to take me. But every time… He did what he wanted to do.

It was almost an orn after I had realized I was being abused that I found myself getting a beating. I was in my room studying for an exam when he entered and locked the door. He came straight to me, his servos feeling over my body, and nipping my nape. I rolled my optics and pushed him away.

"Stop! Seriously, Thunder, I need to study." I snapped in exasperation.

"Just real quick." His servo dipped to my codpiece, and he gave me an especially hard nip on the wing.

"Ow!" I shoved his face away. "Stop! I don't want to interface! _Please_ , stop raping me for once!"

"Watch how you speak to me." His wings flared.

"Watch how you treat me." I snapped right back, glaring at him.

"Do you want a beating? Because I am more than happy to provide one." He said sternly, wings flicking.

"Of course you're happy to beat me. You get off being an abusive slagger." I grumbled.

"Get up." He snapped his digits at me. "Go lie on the berth."

I was about to do as he ordered, but then I decided to be a stubborn aft and remained seated, crossing my arms. "No. I am not your slave to beat and rape whenever you so please. This is _my_ body and I say what is done to it."

"If you don't lie on the berth I'm going to give you extra. Do you want that?" He said almost mockingly.

I glared at him from the corner of my optics, arms still crossed, wings hiked, being as stubborn and bratty as I could. "I want you to be a real mech and treat your mates with respect, love, and compassion. I'm not your property. Not anymore. I'm my own person, and you're damn lucky to have me part of your life. I trined you because I thought you were the one, I stayed because I love you, and I continue to deal with you despite everything you do to me because I actually give a damn about you. The least you could do is return that love."

"Love isn't a one-way-street."

"Oh, so I should just let you beat and rape me whenever all because _you_ want it? What about what _I_ want? Hmm? Or does the street only go in the direction you want it to go when it comes to interface, punishment, and sparklings?"

"I'm the trineleader. I decide on those things, not you."

"Oh, just not the person on the receiving end of the pain and abuse. Gotcha. Makes sense." I rolled my optics.

He was getting frustrated. He rolled his optics and growled his engine. "Alright, since you asked so nicely for one I'll give you a beating. Get up." He grabbed my arm and forced me to stand.

I tried jerking my arm free and fought back, but he was so strong. He pushed me onto my berth and made me lie in position. He unsubspaced the metal cable he always kept with him and doubled it over. I tensed, knowing the pain would be brutal. But, before he started he leaned forward and kissed me on the cheekplates.

"I'm doing this because I love you. This only benefits you." He said softly, then took my servo in his.

I just glared, knowing that to not be true. I yelped when the first lash struck my aft, then they started to rain down cruelly. I was kicking my legs some, both my servos holding his, and soon crying as I was beaten. He struck my aft and thighs, really giving it all he had, leaving me screaming and a bawling mess in no time.

He was beating me for just over a breem before stopping. I was hugging his leg by the time he stopped, crying pathetically and cycling air hard. He subspaced the cable, grabbed me, turned me around, and pulled my legs off the berth. He pushed my legs apart, roughly opened my codpiece, not even bothering to ask for me to open it, and was soon inside of me. I kept crying as he raped me, whimpering when he bit too hard, and loudly gasping when he gave a too hard thrust. But, otherwise I didn't fight him. I knew I couldn't defeat him, especially when he was inside of me. I was still trying to figure out how I would win a fight against him. I just wasn't ready to challenge him yet.

He got his satisfaction out of me after five overloads and spark bonds. I didn't move when he pulled out, nor when he grabbed my helm to give me a strict warning about my behavior. I stayed there, listening to him walk out and close the door behind him. Once he was gone, I slowly lied on my berth and pressed my aft against the wall, letting myself cry in peace.

It took me a bit to calm down, then I grabbed my communicator and made a call.

::Hello?::

"Hey, Skyfire…" I said softly.

::What's wrong, Star? Why are you crying?:: He asked in that loving, concerned vocalizer of his.

"I was just beaten and raped…" I swallowed. "C-could you come over? I-I need you."

::I'm on my way, love. Let me tell my professor I got to go and I'll be right there.::

"Okay…" I paused, then hung up.

I waited, not doing anything. Eventually, I heard Skyfire at the door and Thundercracker opening it. Skyfire managed to convince him he was here to do homework with me, and Thunder let him in. Skyfire came straight to my room and closed the door behind him. His wings drooped when he saw me. He sat on my berth, and so gently, lovingly, pulled me onto his lap and hugged me. I curled into his chassis, feeling safe in his strong arms.

"Want me to get you out?" He asked quietly.

I thought for a moment before speaking. "I'm going to try and become trineleader."

His wings perked. "Yeah? Can you?"

"I'm going to try. I just need to figure out how I'm going to defeat him. He's a lot bigger and stronger than me. I need to bring him down somehow."

"Could poison him." He shrugged.

"I'm not killing him. I don't want to have to kill anyone…" I said softly. Ha! Oh, if only young me knew the slag older me would do….

"How are you going to defeat him, then?"

"I don't know… I'll figure it out." I was silent a moment before speaking. "He's working on sparking me. I have to defeat him before he's successful."

"And if you don't?"

"I can't fight sparked… I won't get another chance until after the sparkling comes and I've healed."

"What if you never defeat him? What will you do then?"

I thought about that. If I couldn't defeat him, if I was forever stuck being raped, beaten, and sparked… I couldn't continue like that. Not for the next 400 vorns, or even 1 vorn longer. I already tried to end my life because of him. I wouldn't be able to last much longer, especially now since I knew how wrong all of this was.

And I had to do what was best for my daughters.

I looked up at him, coolant pooling in my optics as I opened my mouth to speak. "I-if I can't beat him… If I'm stuck being his submissive always… Get me out."

Skyfire slowly nodded. "Just tell me when and I will get you, Skywarp, and your sparklings away from him. I promise. I will always be there for you. No matter what that means I have to do."

"Promise?"

"I do." He kissed me on the lip plates.

Yeah, until Autobots arrive… Liar…

* * *

A few orbital cycles passed and life just continued as always. I went to work, I cared for my daughters, the three eldest went to their jobs, and Thundercracker raped me at every chance he could, and gave me several beatings for giving him attitude. And as this happened I just was planning, trying to figure out how I would beat him. I wasn't ready to make my move despite wanting to so bad. I had to plan, I needed to outsmart him, I had to do this right.

Well, I was sitting at my desk grading papers when he came in for interface. He grabbed me, kissing me, his servos all over me. And I was just done. I pushed him away, and without hesitation he grasped my wings, yanked me up, and threw me against the berth. I quickly got up and jumped out of his reach, backing away until I found myself in a corner of my room. He started to approach me, and instead of lowering my wings in fear, I raised them. I stood there defiantly, knowing I would be punished for it. But it was becoming more natural now. A habit. More… me.

"You will _not_ touch me." I snapped, servos balled into fists at my sides, my frame tense, unmoving.

"You love your beatings, don't you?" He grunted in exasperation.

"You will not have me." I flicked my wings.

He reached out, grabbing me as I struggled, and easily returned me to the berth. He shoved me against it, unsubspaced the cable, and gave me several hard lashes across my aft. I yelped and whimpered, but didn't sob. Some coolant came out, but I was just growing use to this pain all over again.

After he gave me about forty lashes, he forced my codpiece open, penetrated me, pinned me down by my shoulders, and went to town. He was hard, fast, and brutal. And that soon had me crying. And the spark bond also hurt.

As I lied on my torso, my peds on the floor, looking ahead at the wall, him thrusting into me, I just felt… like I was reaching my limit. I winced as he bit my nape, tugging at it, soft growls emitting from his engine. I kneaded the berthtop with my digits, not able to do anything else about the pain.

He overloaded and spark bonded with me three times, and then started on the fourth. I had coolant lazily dripping down my cheekplates at this point, my wings drooping, my valve in so much pain, and just feeling my spark dropping. Then, he climaxed, our sparks bonding fiercely as I cried out, grasping the berthtop, and… I felt it. I felt that burn. I felt that extra surge inside of my spark. My optics widened as I panted, wings trembling some, my spark hurting. I swallowed, knowing this feeling. I had felt it four times previously. I knew it by now. I didn't need to test.

I was sparked.

I bit my lip plate, coolant filling my optics until I was blinded. I whimpered as he started back up again, biting my nape, making sure I remembered who I belonged to. I looked ahead, seeing my dim reflection on the metal wall, feeling so broken. I was sparked now. He had succeeded…

I swallowed, a servo carefully touching over my spark, unable to see my new little one, but knowing they were there now, feeding off my essence. I would never end them. This was my little sparkling now and I will care for them and raise them. But, I didn't want this one to grow up with the life my other creations had. They all had to see their carrier beaten and raped, seeing me try to kill myself, and just… Things no sparkling should ever see. I didn't want that for this one. I needed to save this little one from that life of trauma, fear, and confusion. And I needed to save myself.

No, I would still fight him. I _will_ win against him. Not just for me, but for the little one now in me, and my other four precious daughters, and my nephews. He wasn't going to win.

He overloaded three more times into me before pulling out and giving me a hard smack on my aft. I quickly got up, spin around to protect my sore rear, and closed all my plates. I glared at him, wings flaring.

He started to reach for my face to cup it with one of his servos. "You need to stop-" I slapped him across his faceplates hard, my expression unchanging, optics still narrowed, and my fury emanating from my being. He slowly pulled his servo away and rubbed over his stinging cheekplates, giving me a look. "You want another beating so soon, _brat_?" He spat the last word.

"You're never interfacing me again." I snarled, denta clenched, wings flaring.

Thundercracker made a "wow, this guy _really_ wants his aft beaten off him" sarcastic look with his optic ridges rising, not even looking at me directly. He then did look at me, smirking a little. "You know, you really were a catch." He grabbed my chin, forcing my helm up to look at him. "I saw you, I wanted you, and I took you. You're mine. But the poor attitude is not the reason I took you as mine."

"This 'poor attitude' is a result of your selfishness, abuse, and neglect." I growled.

"No, it's the result of an ungrateful brat who needs a flogging." He firmly replied.

I slapped him across the faceplates, but this time as hard as I possibly could. Like, so hard it hurt myself and left a large dent on his cheekplates. He didn't really move, his helm staying facing the way it had been forced to go. Then, he slowly turned it to me, exhaling heavily, his wings slowly flaring, and optics narrowing.

He grasped my arm, and very roughly led me out of my room and into his. I was soon chained to the berth, my limbs spread out, and he grabbed the energon whip.

As I was flogged, screaming, tugging at my restrains, and an absolute bawling mess from the awful pain, I was also scared for my little one. I couldn't tell him I had one. I didn't want him to know about any weaknesses and exploit them for when I challenged him. No, this one would need to remain a secret for as long as possible. If they manage to live through whatever the future held for me.

After I was flogged, and left a trembling, sobbing mess, he took me back to my room and locked me inside. My daughters and Skywarp were ordered to not see me, and he didn't even let me have my evening or morning refuel. I cried myself to recharge, a servo over my spark, now having yet another reason to become trineleader.

* * *

I waited a few orbital cycles before digging out the scanner and checking myself. Yup, confirmed. A new spark was attached to mine. I rubbed over my faceplates, not looking forward to having to carry, especially during this rough time. I did get a little excited though. I was having another sparkling and I imagined holding number five. Maybe I would have a mechling this time? Or maybe twins? And I would love them, and they will love me, and I will get to have that special bonding time with my sparkling, and enjoy them, and be a little happier.

But, the bad thoughts also came. I will be carrying when I fought Thundercracker. I had to keep this little one a secret for as long as possible, maybe even until they are ready to come out! Which is actually easier for us Cybertronians to do because organics get fat when late in their carrying. We don't really change our outer appearance much, if at all. The problem mostly just is being sick, mood swings, plates shifting, and all the other "joys" of being sparked… And he'll want to be interfacing constantly…

I sighed, opening my chestplates and looking in the mirror at my spark.

"You are going to make things complicated, little one." I said quietly so no one outside could hear. "How is it in there? Warm enough? Need some sheet metal? How about a boost of energy for your carrier? I'm feeling tired because of you, you know? Yeah, already making me feel different and you don't even have arms yet. One more orn until your little arms and legs are in, and you start to get a face. But, before your face starts to form, just do me a favor… Don't look like your sire. He's a complete aft face… Can you do that for carrier?" I felt a little bit of a tingling in my spark and was positive that was my now youngest confirming they would do this. I had to faintly smile at that. "Thanks, sweetie. I appreciate it." I looked at my face in the mirror now, studying how tired and gross I looked. I was just so exhausted from all the drama, school, work, and the constant interface and beatings. I looked awful. I looked older than I actually was. I didn't look like I was 66 stellar cycles old. I looked like I was a few vorns older. Ugh! Looking old already! Well, what was "old" to me then. Now I… I don't tell anyone my age….

I closed up my chestplates, and just stood there thinking for a bit. I needed help. I needed to talk to someone.

I called my femme-friends and arranged for a get together. This carrier needed some other carriers to discuss topics only us mated carriers understood: Our sparkling-sires.

I flew to Burnout's house and pressed the chime. She answered the door with that warm smile of hers.

"Hey, Starscream." She hugged me. "Good to see you."

I hugged her back. "Good to see you. Thanks for letting me come over."

"Anytime. Everyone is in the living room."

I went to the living room, soon greeted and hugged by Tidewater and Powerline. We sat at the table, snacking on energon goodies, talking about our daughters, what they were doing now after graduation, how little we were seeing each other now and needing to change that, and just talking about our creations. Then, we started to delve into the life of being mated.

"He leaves oil in the washroom. And I keep telling him he needs to clean that up! Like, no, sir, I'm your _mate_ , not your _maid_!" Powerline complained, waving her servos around.

"Oh, my mate is in trouble." Tidewater grunted. "He forgot our anniversary."

"Nuh uh!" Burnout gave her a look.

"Ohhhh, yes!" Tidewater gave a sassy nod of her helm. "And that mech is not getting any interface until he makes up for it."

"Speaking of interface, my aft of a Conjunx asked if I would watch porn with him. Like… You can watch that on your own time, but not with me!" Powerline put in.

"Oh, I just make fun of my Conjunx when I catch him." Tidewater grunted. "He's been doing a lot more lately!"

They all laughed, but I didn't. I wasn't really paying much attention to the conversation now, and they noticed.

"So, Stars," Tidewater spoke up. "How is your interface life going? Anything interesting?"

I finally looked up, elbows on the table, my servos popping the joints in my knuckles. I took a moment before speaking. "It's been…" I swallowed. "Miserable."

"What's wrong?" Burnout asked gently.

I exhaled heavily. "So… I actually wanted to meet up to talk to you guys about Thundercracker…" I paused. "I… I don't know how to begin. I… You guys have been right."

"Right about what?" Powerline cocked her helm slightly.

"You and everyone else…" Coolant started to pool in my optics. "Have been right about Thundercracker abusing me. I-I finally realized it." I started to choke on sobs now. "I-I finally accepted that he's raping me. A-and it's gotten worse. He's raping me constantly now without any love. He… Wants another sparkling and has been taking me constantly. And beating me if I refuse."

"You need to tell his parole officer." Burnout said quickly.

"No." I shook my helm. "Th-then they would only take him away from me."

"But, he hurts you." Tidewater said puzzled.

"I still love him…" I swallowed, not looking at them, feeling stupid for loving the guy they saw only as a monster since the orbital cycle they met him. "H-he sired my daughters. I don't want to separate them from their sire… I… I just can't leave."

"Starscream, sweetie, you need to do what's best for you and your daughters." Burnout said as she reached over to hold my servo. "He's hurting you. A lot. You already tried to kill yourself because of what he's done. You deserve better."

I was silent a bit before speaking. "I'm carrying. H-he sparked me a few orbital cycles ago. He doesn't know."

"Do you have addictives?" Burnout asked quickly.

I shook my helm. "I… I have not taken anything for the sparkling… He's still been interfacing me constantly t-to spark me."

Burnout got up. "I'm getting you some addictives and a system booster." She patted my servo before walking into the other room.

"Have you checked with a doctor yet?" Powerline asked.

"Negative." I answered quietly, still not looking up at them. "I haven't done anything just scanned myself… And felt it burn a little."

"Star, now is the best time to leave while the sparkling is still this early." Tidewater said as she moved her chair beside mine and sat down. "It will be easiest this way. Before you're really sick and in labor."

I shook my helm. "I'm not leaving him."

"Why?"

"I said why… I love him." Coolant started to run down my cheekplates anew. "And I'm mad at myself for it… I can't just leave the one who gave me my daughters, helped get me moved here so I could go to the Science Academy, and… Has cared for me for stellar cycles, even if it wasn't always perfect… He's not evil… There's good in him…"

"Good people don't rape and beat their mates."

"Not all good people start out as saints." I replied, still looking down.

Burnout placed a glass of energon in front of me. "Drink. It's filled with addictives, a system booster, and added energy. You need it."

I took a small sip of it, not feeling hungry at all. Burnout moved her chair on the other side of Tidewater, then placed the back of her servo on my brow. She left it there for a bit before removing it.

"You feel a little warm. Do you feel sick in any way? Lethargic? Nauseous? Unusually tired?"

"I'm always tired…" I grunted. "I'm starting to feel a little… unsettled in the tank."

"You need to drink that energon. And I'm taking you to the doctor." Burnout said firmly, and I knew I wouldn't be able to talk her out of it.

"Yes, ma'am." I said softly.

"What are you going to do about Thundercracker?" Powerline spoke up. "You can't keep letting him rape and beat you."

I didn't answer immediately. "No… I'm not. I'm going to become trineleader."

"Doesn't that mean fighting?" Tidewater raised an optical ridge.

"It does…"

"Can you fight him?" Powerline asked.

"I can fight him. The question just is if I'll _win_ fighting him."

"No, Starscream, you need to just tell his parole officer." Burnout ordered with a wave of a digit. "He _needs_ to be locked away for _good_."

"I'm going to be trineleader." I repeated. "And I will have my mate back. We'll be a proper trine."

"This is ridiculous." Burnout threw her servos up with a roll of her optics.

"Seekers do ridiculous." I replied. I was silent a moment before continuing. "I will fight Thundercracker and become trineleader. If I don't win, and things get worse… I'll leave him. But, let me try this. _Please_. In the meantime, Thundercracker nor my daughters must know that I am carrying. If Thundercracker knows my weakness he'll expose it. I need to seem like I am not sparked, and everything is normal. This means that I have to act fast. I don't have too much time before my system overheating from interface will begin to harm the protoform. Nor enough time before I am so far carrying I can't walk. And after I defeat him, I will have to keep hiding the sparkling until they are born. I don't need him to think I'll be easy to re-dominate and lose everything again." I glanced at each of them. "I'll need help smuggling addictives and everything I need into my home. And depending on severity of injuries that will be sustained in the challenge… I may need you femmes to also help care for my daughters."

"This just sounds stupid." Burnout commented.

"No, _this_ is a plan. One I will be committed to before long."

"When do you plan on striking?" Powerline inquired.

"Within the orn." I replied.

* * *

I was taking a shower the next orbital cycle, trying to look somewhat decent because Skyfire was coming over for a visit. While I was scrubbing my abdominal plates, smiling a little that my sparkling was resting just under those plates, the sire barged in. I rolled my optics as he grabbed me from behind and soon forced himself inside of me.

"I was hoping to have some time to myself…" I grunted, his arms wrapping tightly around my waist before he began to thrust.

"You get a lot of time to yourself." He replied flatly, before giving my nape a nip.

I jerked my helm away, then leaned forward, trying to keep him from biting me anymore. He just forced me forward and against the wall. It was all cold and wet, making the experience worse. He resumed biting and tugging my nape and neck cables, and all I could do was snarl, wince, and growl my engine.

"You're beautiful." He said in my audio receptor.

"Yeah, I'm sure I am." I grumbled, wings flaring.

"Don't be a brat." He warned, flaring his own wings.

"Oh, right, just be happy as I'm raped… Because that's how the universe works." I sardonically replied.

"I'm not raping you. I never have raped you."

"Oh? Then what is it then when someone is screaming, _begging_ , to not be interfaced, but the other person does it anyway? Hmm? I really would like to know what non-consensual interface is actually called if 'rape' is now the incorrect term."

I whimpered when he gave my aft a hard smack, followed by a few nasty thrusts, giving me a bit of a warning dominating.

"You need to watch it, Starscream." He growled.

"Ouch…" I clenched my denta as his thrusting became harder and faster. I clawed at the wall, in pain, but unable to do anything. "I-if you were the submissive… Ow… A-and I kept interfacing you w-when you, nnnrrr, when you didn't want it… Ouch. Wouldn't you be upset? Wouldn't you want me to stop? Nnnnrrrgh! W-wouldn't you feel like you don't matter? Th-that you're just an interface toy?"

"You're not an interface toy, Starscream." He said a little softer, but his thrusting stayed harsh. "I love you. But you are still mine. And I can interface you whenever and however I so please."

"You still haven't answered my question." I swallowed, coolant pooling in my optics from the pain in my valve.

"I would obey my trineleader."

"No matter what the trineleader did?"

"Submissives have their place. And they must obey the rules given to them." He forced my helm up and kissed me on the lip plates. "Obey, Starscream." He kissed me again. "Open your chestplates."

I bit my lower lip plate, then opened my chest plates. His spark's energy soon connected with mine, and it felt stronger, probably because of the sparkling's spark. I saw my reflection in the wall before me, and I looked awful. I yelped when he spark bonded with me, and started to cry. I stayed crying as he kept raping me. And even after he left I cried as I tried cleaning myself all over again.

* * *

Skyfire came over a bit later, and Rogue ran to hug him.

"Hey, there, young femme!" Skyfire picked her up and hugged her. "What's up?"

"Nothing much." She smiled wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Where's your carrier?"

"He's in his room."

"Okay, I'm going to go see him now." He pecked a kiss to her cheekplates before setting her down. As he was putting her back on the ground, he looked up, seeing Thundercracker watching him closely, wings flared and optics narrowed. Skyfire slowly stood back up. "I'll see you later, Rogue." He then walked towards the stairs, keeping his optics on Thundercracker, not trusting him.

Thundercracker behaved and didn't go after him, but did flick his wings a couple of times in warning. He then picked up Rogue, still glaring at Skyfire as he held his daughter.

Skyfire palmed open the door to my room and entered. He closed it, then sat on the berth beside me. Without hesitation, he grabbed me, pulled me onto his lap, and hugged me.

"I love you." He said softly, kissing me on the lip plates.

I paused, then slowly kissed back. I pressed my helm against his chestplates, venting a heavy sigh.

"How are you holding up?" He asked.

"I need to challenge him… Soon."

"When?"

"Soon." I repeated.

"Well, yeah, because you need this abuse to end."

"I'm sparked." I said barely louder than a whisper.

His optics widened. "Really? Y-you feeling alright? Do you need me to get you addictives? Cushions? A-a doctor?"

"I already saw a doctor." I placed my servo over my abdominal plates. "She's healthy. Her limbs are already starting to… bud off or whatever it's called… Look like little stumps at this point. Still has that… tail looking thing that becomes the legs… thing. She's been treating me better so far than the previous tenants… Haven't thrown up… yet."

"She?" Skyfire faintly smiled. "What makes you so sure you have a femmling?"

"A carrier knows." I said with absolution.

"Mhmm. I'm guessing because the previous four are all femmes so you're just assuming."

"I have a femmling in me." I paused. "I have been practicing… In preparation to fight him. Skywarp has been dueling with me, I have been training after teaching my classes… I am getting prepared to face him."

"I think you should just come with me and we escape him. Report him to his parole officer."

"No… He's my mate, I love him, and he's not going to miss out on his newest creation. I know you're concerned, Skyfire, but please… Let me do this." I looked him in those cerulean optics. So gentle, loving, and concerned about me. "I am a Seeker. And I have to do this the Seeker way."

"That's… This is ridiculous."

"So is your face, and yet I don't judge."

"Be nice."

I smirked. "Make me."

"Fine." He lifted my chin and kissed me on the lip plates for a lingering moment. "Learned your lesson?" He smiled.

I sheepishly smiled back. "No, I don't think I have."

"Fine then." He kissed me again, our glossas soon entangled.

I momentarily forgot my troubles and focused on him, the burning desire inside of me, wanting him, but knowing I shouldn't. Maybe… When I was trineleader things could change.

* * *

It was two orbital cycles later when the time came. Zephyr and Storm were at work, Tempest was at a friend's house, Skyblast was at one of his many sport practices, and Rogue was in her room doing… Whatever young femmlings do in their rooms at her age. I just got back from walking Sierra, and started to clean around the apartment. Thundercracker was watching the news, his peds propped on the small table in front of the couch. Being lazy and useless.

I rolled my optics when I got to him, seeing the mess around him. I really had had it with this. I picked up his trash and threw it at his face.

"Throw your trash away." I flicked my wings.

His wings flared as he brushed off the trash. "Watch it, Starscream." He warned.

"No, _you_ watch it, Thundercracker. I shouldn't be having to cleanup after you. Primus, you're a damn grown mech. What next? Are you going to make me have to wipe your aft clean after emptying your waste tank? Hmm?" I put my servos on my hips as I leaned over him.

He narrowed his optics. "Do you want a beating?"

"I want a trineleader who doesn't act like a fragging slob all the time! I want you to make yourself of use for once and cleanup! Take out the trash! Do something other than just sit on your fat aft all orbital cycle and stroke your spike. Or do you want me to stroke it for you since you're too damn lazy even to do that?"

He stood up, grabbed me, and threw me over the arm of the couch. I didn't fight or even think about getting away. I was just… I just lied there, angry, bitterly waiting for the usual routine. Too angry to even beg or try to talk my way out of it.

He unsubspaced a metal cable, double it over, and started to lash it across my aft _very_ hard. I grit my denta, wincing from the blows, and soon was yelping. I clutched the couch, crying out from each brutal blow, but too angry to leak coolant. I was just so angry at him. I didn't even kick or anything. I held as still as a statue, taking it all, but burning with raw fury.

He hit me for a while. Almost a breem, so several hundred lashes. After he finished he grabbed my arm and forced me to stand.

"Go to your room." He snapped.

I glared at him, then pivoted on my thruster heel and started away. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I stopped. I was so angry, so done with this… I looked over and saw he had set the cable on the table, and was picking up all the trash off the floor. I don't know if the thought fully formed in my helm first, but I certainly acted on it. I walked quickly back over, being light on my peds so he wouldn't hear me. I grabbed the cable, approached him from behind as he was still bending over to grab the trash scattered all over. I doubled the cable over, and…. I never hit anyone, or anything, with as much force as I did his aft that orbital cycle. All my rage, the abuse, just… everything was pouring out. And with my programs changing due to the sparkling in me… Yeah, I was not in full control of myself, and my emotions were everywhere. But I don't regret it.

"AH!" He leaped up, servos instantly going to his aft before he spun around. "STARSCREAM!"

But I was already getting the frag out of there. I ran to the balcony door, palmed it open, subspaced the cable I was still carrying, leaped off the balcony, and transformed. I forced everything into my thrusters, the energy boost from my excitement and fear filling me. I felt my spark pulsating out of my chest. I broke the sound barrier almost instantly and was gone.

I heard him behind me, a sonic boom erupting and feeling the waves it produced hitting me. I managed to keep my balance, ignoring my spinning meters and readings to stay focused on simply what I saw ahead of me. I was terrified, knowing I was more than dead if he caught me. But, I had been planning on how I would beat him. I had to tire him out. I had to avoid him catching me. If I got him tired enough, then I could strike. So, I had to keep him chasing me. But, not burn myself out in the process. Which is not easy when you're carrying. Because you are sharing your energy with a very greedy, selfish person.

I twisted, spiraled, aileron rolled, did everything to avoid him as I maneuvered around the towers at Mach 2. He stayed behind me, not falling back. I ascended straight up, flying over Mach 3, soon seeing stars above me. And he was still behind me. I slowed down some, letting him near, then I transformed, grabbed his wing, activated my thrusters, and pulled. I heard him growl something, aileron rolling to try to throw me off. I planted a ped into his back, pushing as I tried to tear off his wing. Something made a cracking sound just before he started to transform.

I kicked off him, transformed, and dove down. He stayed on my tailfins, engine screaming. I powered my thrusters to the max, speeding ahead, beginning to gain distance on him. I pulled up, narrowingly missing a building, aileron rolling to regain balance. I dove down again, pulled up, flying just over the street, barely missing vehicles and pedestrians. I heard scraping, Thundercracker behind me still, his undercarriage tearing some on the pavement as he leveled out. I felt the heat bouncing off the street and onto my undercarriage from flying so low. I pushed harder, breaking the sound barrier, feeling the vibrations from the ground and surroundings. I pulled up to avoid a train, then aileron rolled to barely miss a bridge. I flew in the alley of two narrow towers, evening out once I was in the open again. I was trying to figure out where to go next, what to do, when I felt the powerful eruption of another sonic boom, it striking me hard. I started to lose balance, panicking, then I felt myself get smashed into by Thundercracker.

I transformed as I spiraled, tumbling down to the planet. He transformed as well, grabbed my ankle, swung me around, and threw me. I transformed, but it was too late. I crashed into a transmission tower, the thing coming down with me with a terrible groan and crushing of metal. I transformed, panting, slowly standing up in the rumble. I looked up just in time to see Thundercracker transforming, peds out to crush me.

I dove to the side just before his peds crashed down, bending the metal beneath them. I grabbed two metal rods from the broken tower, spun them around, and wielded them as swords as I steadied my footing. He slowly turned to me, optics glowing brightly in the smoke now clouding due to the electrify from the downed tower burning the surrounding rubble.

I swallowed as he stomped forward, wings flared, murder in his optics. I flared my own wings and reminded myself why I was doing this. For my daughters. For me.

He struck, lunging at me, but I swung my makeshift blades and deflected his arm. I managed to forced his arms up and knee him in the crotch, only to receive a helmbutt to my face. I jumped back, energon oozing from my olfactory sensor.

"Stand down, Starscream." He growled.

I wiped the energon with the back of my servo, then straightened myself out. "I've been your slave long enough. This ends, now."

"Fine." He growled before grabbing his own metal rod from the rubble and charging

I swung my rods, blocking his blows. They were quick and brutal, but I was better at the art of the sword. This has always been my thing. I kept blocking his blows, twisting to the side, missing a swing to my helm by falling back, aft almost touching my ankles and back parallel to the ground before standing back up. I managed to strike his side with a rod, spin around, and kick him in the back. He stumble, but spun around and almost struck my helm.

I continued to block his blows, having to keep stepping back from the brutality of it. I got an open point, forcing his arms up, then back flipped, kicking him in the face, before landing on my peds. He spat out the energon gathering in his mouth from his cut lip plate. I snorted out steam, my systems heating up. This wasn't good for my sparkling, but this carrier wasn't done yet.

I kept dodging his blows, kept being backed up, and only getting a few strikes on him. But I wasn't going to win this way. I had to do something more extreme. I had to outsmart him. I glanced around when able to, scoping my surroundings. We were in a electricity grid transformer tower. Wires carrying enough energy to power hundreds of the buildings in the surrounding area. Everywhere around us.

I knew what I had to do.

I activated my thrusters, leaping back before I threw one of the rods at him like a sword. He blocked it with his rod before it could stab him. I took the opportunity to run deeper into the grid, turning corners, and searching for what I needed. He was right behind me.

I skidded to a stop, unsubspaced my energon knife, and started to cut wires, yanking them down, seeing the blue electricity zap angrily out from the severed cords. I subspaced the knife and rod, then gathered as many wires as I could. I activated my thrusters and flew up, waiting for him.

He turned the corner, wings flared, looking for me. I dove down from above, kicking him in the face, then used my one advantage against him: My speed.

I wrapped wires around his arms, wings, and neck, avoiding him grabbing me. I did this as fast as I could, grabbed the wires, and pulled, tightening them. He tried grabbing me, but his arms were soon forced apart by the wires, and he gasped as the one around his neck tightened.

I didn't stop. I kept grabbing more wires from around, wrapping them around his legs, ankles, waist, more around the arms and wings. Tightening, pulling them, restraining him, until… He was there, entangled in all these thick wires, unable to escape. He roared with fury as he tried struggling, yanking, pulling, everything. But, they held fast.

I swallowed, admiring what I had done, but I wasn't through with him yet. I grabbed the wires I had severed and shoved them into his cooling fans, his vents, and under his arm joints.

The sounds he made from the pain of the electricity coursing through his body… I had never heard him cry out from so much pain before. And it both scared me and satisfied me.

I didn't stop it immediately. No, I watched, seeing him shrieking from the pain, jerking, struggling to me free, smoke rising from his burning body. And as I watched him suffering, it felt… good. It did. But then, I remembered that I still loved him and he was the sire of my little femmelings. And I couldn't let him keep suffering.

I yanked the live wires out of him, throwing them aside. I watched him panting, still smoking, visibly weakened by that. I approached after a moment, lifting his chin up, my wings flaring.

"Submit." I ordered.

His optics narrowed and jaws set. He jerked his helm away, activated his thrusters, and tried to escape. He managed to get one servo slipped out, and tried grabbing me, but I stepped aside and he just fell limp, still panting. I flicked my wings. I waited a bit longer, then I unwrapped the wires from his ankles, his legs, waist, wings, and finally his arms and neck. He fell forward on all fours, unable to even stand. I tossed the wires all aside, unsubspaced the cable he had used on me just kliks before, wrapped it around his neck, and yanked back. He yelped, a servo grabbing it, trying to keep it from choking him. I held it taunt as I stood behind him, studying this new angle of my trineleader… For the for moments he could still be called that.

I got on my knees behind him, then tapped his codpiece. "Open, Thundercracker."

He flicked his wings and started to stand up, but I yanked the cable as my other servo grabbed his wing.

"Oh, no, you're not. You _lost_." I growled my engine. "Remove your codpiece or else I'll force you to."

"Go to hell." He snapped.

I gave the cable an extra hard yank, then twisted a wing back. "Open. Now." I growled.

"You can't lead, Starscream. You'll only get us thrown in the streets." He grumbled.

I started to tear at his codpiece to open it. Which, was very tricky my first time. It took a bit, but I finally got it to open. I removed my own codpiece and let my spike out. I stroke it roughly, trying to harden, but I was so far from turned on that it took a moment. I pulled the cable back, forcing his helm up, then I pressed the tip of my spike to his valve. I felt him tensing. He had _never_ been spiked before. I kind of felt sorry for him that this was how he lost his valve virginity, but… I lost mine in a worse way.

I pushed in, and he yelped, jumping some. I pulled the cable back, keeping that helm up, then leaned forward and bit him on the nape as hard as I could. He tried getting up, but still was too weak. I forced his face into the ground, his aft staying in the air. I grabbed his wings with both servos, bending them back as I started to thrust as hard and fast as I could into him. I kept biting and tugging his nape and neck cables, trying to hurt them as much as possible. I did it all as brutally as I could. Being meaner to him than I had to Skywarp when I first dominated him. He whimpered, he moaned, he clawed at the ground, and he yelped, but he didn't cry. I kept dominating him for well over a breem. I bent his wings so much, unbent them, and bent them again that they were leaking energon. I just kept going and going until _finally_ his wings lowered. I smirked, but dominated for a little longer, giving him a few more nasty bites before pulling out.

I stood up, folded my codpiece back over, and watched him. He rolled to his side, a servo going down to his codpiece as he quickly closed it. He didn't look at me, wings low, but so much anger in those optics. I hesitated, then stepped before him and crouched. I lifted his chin up, forcing him to look at me.

"I am the trineleader." I flared my wings, hiding all my fear, excitement, and anxiety in my vocalizer. "You are mine." I paused. "And I am yours. We are trined till the bitter end. I lead this trine. And things are changing for the better." I stood up. "Get up. We are returning home before the authorities arrive."

* * *

I pulled him inside of the apartment by his wrist. He hadn't spoken during the entire flight back home. He kept his wings neutral, not submitting nor being aggressive.

"Skywarp, follow me." I ordered as I took Thundercracker up the stirs.

"Um, okay…" He said slowly, not sure what was happening.

I took my trine into Thundercracker's room and locked the door. I forced Thundercracker to lean over the berth, then got his codpiece open. I needed him to stop being a pain and submit fully to me, and I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. I grabbed that barbed spike cover he used on me, put it on my own spike, then penetrated him. I grasped his wings, pulling them back, leaned over him, and started to thrust. He yelped, not use to being spiked, and especially not use to so much pain in that area. He grit his denta, moaning in pain, trying to keep from crying out. I bit his nape, tugging and making it leak a little. His wings were bent and twisted, making sure he learned that I was now trineleader.

Skywarp's jaw dropped as he watched, optics round, completely shocked by this. He never thought I would succeed. And yet, here I was, dominating Thundercracker for the second time this joor.

"You're mine." I told Thundercracker between bites. "I'm the trineleader. Submit, Thunder. You're mine."

It took a few more kliks of dominating before he finally lowered his wings and submitted his frame. I dominated for a bit longer before pulling out. I closed my plates up, and turned to Skywarp.

"And you said I couldn't do it." I grunted.

"I have no words." Skywarp replied.

I turned away, going to go back to Thundercracker when my optics fell on all the things he used to beat me and Warp over the stellar cycles. I just… stopped. And then something dark came over me. I marched over, grabbed the thickest cable and manacles, and returned to Thundercracker. I clamped one of the manacles to his wrist, looped it through the headrest, then clamped the other end to his other wrist, securing him to the berth.

"Lie down." I growled, forcing him to lie on his front, exposing his backside.

He didn't fight, still weak from the electrocution, but I caught a glimpse of his optics widening, knowing what I was going to do.

"Skywarp, grab something. Anything." I ordered.

Skywarp cocked his helm, but then understood. He smirked. "Oh, I see!" He teleported over to the closet, grabbed a tawse and switch, and teleported onto the berth.

"I know I can't hit as hard as you do… But I'm going to slagging try so you can get some sort of idea of the hell you put us through." I growled at Thundercracker. "You won't know the fear, th-the terror, the never knowing if you'll even survive it or not… But maybe I can give you even a _little_ bit of the abuse you put us through."

"Starscream, I never-Nnnrgh!" He growled, wings flaring when I lashed his aft as hard as I could.

Skywarp giggled. "My turn!" He then lashed the tawse over Thunder's rear.

I flared my wings and began to rain down the blows as hard as I possibly could. All the rage, the pain, the betrayal, the suffering I had endured from him filling me with this rage, this unholy furry, this unadulterated wrath… I just kept lashing his aft, and thighs, and even his wings with all I had. And I couldn't stop.

Skywarp was going at him hard, but wasn't losing control of himself. He was getting his revenge, but still wasn't beating Thunder to the point of causing damage. I was. I was denting him. I had him leaking before long. And I kept going. And I couldn't stop. I lashed him, and lashed him, and lashed… I lashed until my arm hurt and I had to use my other arm. I completely tore his wings, aft, and thighs apart. Then, I grabbed an energon whip and used that on him. I whipped his aft, thighs, back, wings, even his face. I ignored his cries of pain, I didn't care at that point. I wanted my revenge.

And then… About a joor later I finally saw what I was doing. I saw all that energon leaking from his body, and I… I saw myself there on that berth being beaten, screaming for it to end, but having no control. And feeling unloved.

I was trineleader now. I wasn't a monster. I was going to make things better. This wasn't making things better.

I tossed the whip aside, suddenly disgusted with myself. I should be tied to a whipping post and flogged for this. I was so angry with myself and what I had down. I quickly grabbed Skywarp's arm and stopped him.

"That's enough." I snapped. "Leave us."

Skywarp looked at me, then nodded. "Yes, sir." He teleported away.

I stood there, listening to Thundercracker's heavy intakes as he tried cooling his system. I paused, then removed the manacles.

"Stay in your room." I snapped before walking out and locking the door behind me.

I swallowed, unable to believe I had not just defeated him, but I had also abused him. I was doing this to end what he had done to me, and I just did it all right back to him. I didn't want to abuse my trinemates. In the future, I would end up needing to physically punish them, mostly because I was so pissed, but this… This was not those times. This was different. This was me being petty and getting revenge on the mech I should love, cherish, and hold dear.

I needed to step back, calm down, and try this again. I went to my room and tried doing homework, but I kept thinking about him in that room, the pain he must be in, and how hurt he must feel. After a joor I couldn't take it any longer. I grabbed a glass of energon, some towels, and a bucket of water, then entered his room.

He was still on his berth, lying on his side, his optics offline. I set the glass on his nightstand, dampened one of the towels, and very gently started to clean his wounds. His optics onlined, but they didn't watch me, nor did he move. He stayed lying there, silent, still, doing nothing. I bit my lower lip plate, feeling uncomfortable, but I continued cleaning his wounds, removing all the dried energon from his backside and wings. I grabbed a first aid kit from his desk and carefully welded the larger cuts and tears, fixing him up best I could. It took me a while, but I eventually finished. I dampened my last cloth, then carefully started to clean his faceplates from the whip marks on them. He still didn't look at me nor spoke.

Once I had finished cleaning and repairing what I could, I leaned over and kissed him on the lip plates.

"I love you… Till the bitter end." I said softly, then picked up the bucket and walked out. I closed the door behind me, venting a tired sigh.

I put the towels to wash, returned to my room, and forced myself to drink some additive filled energon. I finally noticed just how tired I was. I had done so much this orbital cycle, and just now it was catching up with me.

I stayed in my room, I tried working, I didn't see my daughters. I just… sat there, thinking, and feeling bad for hurting my trinemate.

I looked at the time, seeing how late it was, and got up. I went into his room and closed the door. I was glad to see that he had drank all of his energon. I turned off the light, and got in berth with him. I snuggled against him, pressing my faceplates to his chestplates, listening to his spark pulsating within. Everything was still, then his arms slowly wrapped around me and held me close. I faintly smiled, knowing he still loved and cared for me.

I kissed him on the lip plates, purring my engine. "I love you. I always will."

He didn't say anything, just held me closer, soon falling into recharge. I listened to him resting for a klik before shutting down myself for the night.

* * *

 **Starscream is 66 stellar cycles old, which is 41.25 Earth years old. But for their age he's still about 20-21. Still very young and going through all of this and having a fifth baby and two adult creations.**

 **Starscream needed to talk to other mothers because only they would understand many of the things he's going through. Hard for him to talk to Skyfire about being a carrier when Skyfire has no idea what that's like. Always good to talk to people who know what you're going through. Also, Starscream just needed time with the "gurlfriends."**

 **Note how Thundercracker said if he was a submissive he would still obey the trineleader no matter what.**

 **Starscream used his speed, skill, and wit to defeat Thundercracker. The three things that will turn him into one of the deadliest and greatest Decepticon warriors. So fierce and dangerous even Megatron tells him so (All Hail Megatron). And Starscream defeated Thundercracker without tearing off any limbs. Which is another big thing.**

 **Starscream always has been a badass with swords. A true gentleman fights with swords like a badass! :P**

 **Don't have much more to say... Don't know when the next chapter will be out. I'm not doing well at all. I am so depressed, so hurt, just... Losing my baby, and just had the 2 year anniversary of losing my Genevieve (cat) to pancreatic cancer. And the suicidal thoughts are returning, and I don't have anyone here to distract me or tell me they love me. No Maggie, no Genevieve, no Star... Star, my last cat, is still being illegally held by my evil, cuntfaced parents and I'm still trying to save her. Fucking law viewing pets as "property" still ruins everything... And of course the person who was a child when I got my cat is mistreated and overlooked by the law. Because, fuck the victim, right? Parents are NOT "gods" and have too much power. They do NOT have the right to own children as slaves. Which, sadly that's EXACTLY how the law still views children in the USA.**

 **And college is so overwhelming... I'm so far behind in things because I didn't do anything for 2 weeks after my baby passed away, and I am having a hard time catching up. And I'm so depressed, and broken, and sick, I am having a hard time getting myself to do anything. I feel guilty over losing my babies, I feel like I failed them, and it sickens me so much I'm been vomiting. And I am waking up crying, crying non-stop in all of my classes, crying when driving, crying at work, crying sitting at me desk trying to do homework, crying when writing, crying when showering, crying myself to sleep... I am so tired and sick of this... I have been eating less and less... And I just keep thinking about how much I want to die so I can be with Maggie and Genevieve again. I miss them so much and I just feel like my heart has been ripped out from me.**

 **And when I made a post about how I was feeling on facebook I was yelled at because people seem to think you need to hide your feelings or else you'll be carted away by police. No one fucking cares enough about me to call the police concerning my mental health. And anyone who did have my number and would call.**

 **I even have had nasty people harassing me online calling me nasty things because I took Maggie home to be put to sleep. I know she was in pain, but I also know she wanted to be home, she wanted to have some more time with just her mother, and she was comfortable and surrounded by friends in her last hour. I don't know who these people are. They just have seen my profile, read my memorial to Maggie, and attacked. Even attacking me for looking at German Shepherd rescues. I have people sending me death threats for wanting a specific dog. I need a service dog, and I need a dog who is good with cats and other dogs. I'll ALWAYS have other pets, I still have a cat I'm trying to get back, and right now my roommate has a dog and we're (probably keeping her forever...) watching a stray cat I found on the streets back in November. Like, I HAVE to have a dog that gets along with other animals, AND they need to have a certain personality to fulfill the role of a PTSD service dog.**

 **And despite me being a REAL dog lover and RESPONSIBLE by going to a rescue and/or shelter, I am for some reason a monster for wanting a German Shepherd. I can't do another Australian Shepherd. It's too soon. I need more time to heal. And I want a large, fluffy dog. And I love black, so a black dog is preferred, but not required. And I have to do a teenager or puppy. I can't do older because training takes a long time and I need time to heal before losing another too soon.**

 **And then all the rescues I've been applying for never get back to me, all the dogs I've seen that seemed like a good fit are taken away before I get a chance to meet them, and one rescue the bitch gave me a bad attitude and was EXTREMELY nasty to me because I was looking at one of the black German Shepherd puppies at the rescue she ran. According to this miserable cunt, black dogs are "too intimidating to be service dogs." Bitch, are you fucking serious? Firstly, there is NO rule about how a dog must look to be a service dog. Secondly, I HOPE people are scared of my dog because it will keep them away from me. I HATE people. And Maggie was adorable beyond all reason so they flocked over which stressed me out, but if assholes are scared of my black German Shepherd and run away, GOOD.**

 **I also have looked at Akitas, Belgium Malinois, Malamutes, Belgium Tervuren... No luck. I just don't get why these rescues won't get back to me. They haven't even called my references! Like, for people wanting to rescue and adopt out dogs, they are doing a shitty job if they don't even go through applications... Been over 3 fucking weeks... I can NOT keep living like this. If I'm not caring for someone and being loved by someone, I don't take care of myself because there's no point to. I am suicidal, I am dropping rapidly in my mental health, and no one fucking cares!**

 **I don't understand why I had to lose my baby! She was the purest, kindest, just sweetest angel on Earth. She NEVER hurt anyone. And Genevieve was so sweet and loving too... Why must the kindest of souls leave the soonest? Why did I have to lose both my girls when they were so close to turning 14yrs old? They were too young to die. It's not right. None of this is fair. And no one is helping me. I've lost the only things that matter in my life. And I just don't see a reason to keep going. Not like anyone will care if I died. I know if they cremated me my ashes would be dumped randomly in the woods or down the toilet. I don't have a family because abusive parents ruined everything, and the entire side from my father are Nazis. Mexican side is beginning to realize I have always been right, but they live so far away... I only have my sister, but she chose her husband over me...**

 **I have no one... The only ones I ever had are in heaven now, and one still being held against her will by fucking, evil cunts. If she's still even alive. If she is gone and I wasn't able to save her... If I don't get her ashes and some of her fur back... My parents will know only pain in their final hours.**

 **Fuck. My. Life.**


	22. Connecting With Each Other

**Chapter 22**

I felt sore as I onlined the next orbital cycle. Aft sore from the beating, and body sore from the fight and dominating. I onlined my optics, looking into the still recharging face of my former trineleader. He was still holding me close, his intakes slow and heavy, and clearly exhausted. I studied the whip marks on his faceplates, feeling my spark drop a little at the guilt. I very carefully cupped his faceplates with a servo and traced my thumb along those marks. I kissed him on the lip plates, then pressed my brow against his. He stirred a little, but didn't online. He had to been so tired, especially after what the electrocution had done to him.

I slowly extricated myself from those powerful arms, and got up. I walked out of the room, grabbed a glass of energon, some goodies, and energon sticks, and took them back to his room. I set it all on his nightstand, kissed him, and left him to continue recharging.

I closed the door behind me, stood there for a moment as I thought, then I went to my room. I sat at my desk, rubbing over my faceplates tiredly. It still hadn't sunk in that I was trineleader no matter how many times I told myself I was. I just had lived this life for so long, being his slave, obeying, and never questioning him. I placed a servo over my abdominal plates, offlined my optics, and listened. She was too small to be kicking, but maybe if I was quiet enough and listened hard enough I could hear her twitching in there, slowly growing a little bigger each passing klik.

The sound of air being displaced followed by arms around me startled me. I looked up, only to have my lip plates attacked by Skywarp's hungry kissing.

"Hey, sexy." His servos started to grope me. "I am going to destroy you." He giggled, his wings fluttering. "And I brought a paddle for that naughty aft of yours." He slowly licked my cheekplates.

I vented a sigh. "No interface, Warp." I said softly.

His wings perked. "No interface? But whyyyyyyyyyy!? I need to hump ya! Look, Scree, look!" He jumped in front of me, his codpiece opening. "Your bestest best friend needs to be in harsh, physical contact with the hole between your legs!" He wiggled his hips, making his flaccid spike bounce.

"I'm tired."

"You just onlined!"

"Warp, I had a long orbital cycle yesterday, and I just don't feel well from that battle. I need to heal and rest."

Skywarp flicked his wings. "But… I'm horny!" He groaned in frustration. "Can't I just stick it in you as you do whatever? I won't force you to do anything."

"No, Skywarp. Just… Do yourself. I seriously am tired and need to rest. When I feel up to it I'm all yours. Promise."

"Mmmm… Fine…" He kissed me on the lip plates. "Get in the mood soon. Love you."

I gently kissed him back. "Love you more."

"No, I love _you_ more." He gave me another kissed, then pressed his brow against mine.

I purred my engine as I fluttered my wings. "I love you now and always, till the bitter end." I said in almost a whisper.

"I love you more than you love me till the bitter end. You beautiful afthelm." He gave me a rough kiss. "I'm getting you energon. Did you get the big anything?"

"I did. He's still recharging."

"Alright. Recharge if you're not feeling that well. I'll be back." He then teleported.

I exhaled heavily, a servo resting over my abdominal plates. I wasn't sure if I should tell him or not. Skywarp wasn't the best at keeping secrets and may blurt something out to Thundercracker. I had to make Thundercracker believe I was still capable of fighting. I had to stay in charge. And I would have to make him believe that me not wanting interface was because I simply needed a break and was too busy with school. Or that I was just disciplining him. Which, I definitely had a long ways to go with that.

Skywarp returned to my room and gave me a glass of energon. He kissed me on the cheekplates, then hugged me.

"Love ya."

I smirked. "Love you more."

"Love you most." He pressed his brow against mine, his engine purring.

I offlined my optics, purring my engine back, savoring these moments with him.

* * *

It was the afternoon, and I finally kicked myself enough to go back into Thundercracker's room. I hadn't told the creations, and I wasn't going to for a while. I had been avoiding them, actually. Needing to take things one step at a time.

I palmed open the door to his room, hesitated, then entered. I closed the door behind me, wings perking as I approached. I was relieved when I saw he had consumed all of his energon, but he was still lying on the berth, optics offline. I leaned over and pecked a kiss to his lip plates. The crimson optics lazily onlined, dim and unfocused. I purred my engine, nuzzling my olfactory sensor against his, then gave him a playful lick over the cheekplates. He didn't react. I fluttered my wings, kissing him gently on the lip plates. Still, nothing.

I sat beside him, venting a tired sigh. I was silent a moment before speaking.

"I don't want to lose you…" I said softly. "I love you, Thundercracker. And I had a choice: Become trineleader and stay, _or_ grab my daughters and run away. I could not live my life being abused, raped, and terrified anymore. You've hurt me…" I swallowed, coolant starting to pool in my optics. "You've hurt me so _much_. You beat me… You raped me… I was scared for my life most of the time… I have been so miserable, I felt worthless… I didn't feel loved. And after you got back from prison… You haven't been yourself. And I was scared, I was broken, and I couldn't handle it. I still love you and don't want to lose you, but I couldn't continue that life. I would rather die. And I've tried it before." I wiped away coolant from my optics. "I had to choose between making my life better with you… Or getting you out of my life. And the only way my life could improve with you was to become trineleader." I paused. "I was angry… I felt like I was justified with what I did to you yesterday… Beating you like I did… Flogging you… I shouldn't have done that. I'm not a monster. I'm not an abuser." I was silent a moment, then turned to him. "But I hope you now have some small sense of the hell you put me and Skywarp through for stellar cycles. And I know the pain you felt wasn't as bad as the pain I have felt for much of my life. I'm not big and strong like you. Can you imagine how little, petite me must have felt when big, powerful you would hold me down and beat the absolute slag out of me for simply not cleaning something right? The beatings I received for when I made a mistake with Skyfire? For not being ready for another sparkling?"

I looked down again, listening to his engine for a bit before continuing. "I should have never hurt you. And I'm ashamed for it. But I'm not ashamed for becoming trineleader. And I will do what I must to stay trineleader so that we can be together. So we can raise future sparklings together. So we can be that trine… So madly in love back in the academy… be them all over again, but without the beatings, the fear, the threats. Just our love, and trust, and being everything trinemates should be to each other." I swallowed. "I love you, Thundercracker. You and Skywarp both. And I'm not upset to have carried your creations. I'm proud of it. I love having creations with you. I just… Don't like being forced to have them when I'm not ready." I took his servo in both of mine, studying it. "You gave me four beautiful daughters. I am so proud to be their carrier. And I'm proud you're their sire. You're such a good sire. You really are. And I couldn't have asked for a better mech to sire my creations." I paused. "I just want a better mech to be my mate, my best friend, my trinemate… The one I shall spend eternity with, till the bitter end. And I know… I know we have been lied to. We've been made to believe these awful ideas about how trineleaders and their submissives should behave. How trines should breed so much… How trineleaders are basically mini gods in full and unquestionable control of their submissives… But, trineleaders are just Seekers. We're all just people who make mistakes, who follow lies, who have been hurt, who aren't perfect. I know I'm far from perfect. I know I'll make mistakes. I know I'm not a god. And I want to be told when I make a mistake. I want my trinemates to communicate with me. Because how can I improve… How can I help my trine when I don't know what they need?"

I looked at him. "I will stay trineleader. I will improve this trine. And I will show everyone how to properly run a trine. No pain, no threats, no shouting, no abuse… Positive reinforcement. I'll make us be the strongest, happiest, best trine ever. Just… Give me a chance before you try anything. Don't want to kick your aft again so soon."

He still didn't talk or react. I vented a sigh before kissing him on the lip plates.

"Do you need anything from me? More energon? Pain dampener? Kissies?"

He still didn't speak. I kissed him.

"I'll give you some time alone. But, tonight we are recharging as a trine. We're going to build from this. Promise." I kissed him again. "I will be yours, faithful and true, till the bitter end." I got up and walked out, giving him space.

That night, I did return and got in berth with him, pressing my back against him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close, and Skywarp cuddled against my front, the two crushing me between them. I absolutely loved it. I wanted to recharge between these two, being held by them, forever. And this recharge position did become our favorite way to recharge. Even now we still recharge with me in the middle, TC against my back, and Skywarp in front of me. The two afts crushing me and making it impossible for me to ever escape them. I love them so much.

* * *

Thundercracker didn't leave his room for the next orn. I brought him energon, I talked to him, but he never spoke back. He just stayed in his room, on his berth, healing from the beating and flogging. When it didn't hurt him as much he did move around his room to sit at his desk or watch TV, but still refused to leave until everything self repaired. He painted and buffed himself, looking as if nothing ever happened before he dared leave his room, not wanting the Seekerlets to know. And I still hadn't told the spawns anything. They did notice that Thundercracker didn't talk, but no one said anything to him.

I tried talking to him, get him to say something, but he never did. I recharged every night with him, he always held me, but still no talking. I was upset he wouldn't talk, but I gave him the space he needed, and kept reminding him that I loved him.

I started to become sicker as time went on. I found myself purging, I was in the washroom a lot to deal with unsettling waste issues, I was just having an awful carrying. But my trinemates still were unaware.

I told Zephyr I was sparked, and she helped get me additives and cared for me, but we never told her siblings. I didn't' even tell her what I had done to her sire. I told her I didn't want anyone to know about the sparkling because I wanted to surprise everyone when I knew the gender. Which, I was convinced I had a femmling.

It was about a decacycle since I had become trineleader, TC still wasn't talking to me, and I was even sicker, but I finally started to act on my role of trineleader. I decided to train my trine. Traditional trineleaders would whip and hit trinemates who messed up, but I was going to train mine a little differently, and hoped it worked out. And, it certainly did because even now my trinemates are the best trained submissives ever.

"Okay, my loves, let's do servo gestures." I said as I faced them, Thundercracker to my left and Skywarp to my right. "I'm going to add a few new ones on top of the ones Thunder already used to train us. So, let's start simple, then more complex."

"Whatever you say, bossmech." Skywarp giggled.

I turned around, looking at the mostly empty park that we were in. I didn't want to train around the Seekerlets. I raised my right servo, holding it so both could see, then snapped. They both got in formation behind me, Skywarp faster than Thunder, but he was used to this, Thunder wasn't. I fluttered my wings to show that I was pleased. I started to walk forward and they followed, staying in formation behind me. I raised a servo, palm flat, then lowered it as I kept walking, signaling for them to stay. They did, stopping and standing at attention as I kept walking.

I took only a few steps before turning around and studying them. I smiled, then trotted over to them.

"Good job." I cupped Thundercracker's face and kissed him on the lip plates. "You're doing so well. I love you." I kissed him again. "Very well." I gave him yet another kiss before going to Skywarp and kissing him. "You're doing wonderful as well. So good." I kissed him. "I love you."

Skywarp sheepishly smiled, wings fluttering. "I try."

"I know you do. I appreciate it." I kissed him again.

Thundercracker didn't say or do anything. I don't think he understood what I was doing, but he soon would.

I stepped back in front of them, and snapped my digits before walking. They followed in formation. I then stopped, they did as well, then I raised my right servo. I looked around, spotting a cyberduck waddling around. I pointed at it with my index and middle digits. My trinemates bolted, as they should, and that poor cyberduck suddenly found itself being nearly tackled, then carried back to me. I smirked as Thundercracker handed me the confused and terrified animal. I pointed my index digit and gave a circular motion with it towards the sky. My trinemates instantly got in formation behind me. I set down the cyberduck, letting him quickly flee the strange Seekers. I then held up my right fist, and my brothers raised their arms, weapons drawn, wings flared, and ready for a fight. I lowered my fist, and they ceased their aggressive stance, weapons lowered.

I turned around, wings fluttering, and kissed Thundercracker. "Good job. You're doing so well. I love you." I kissed him again. I then gave his codpiece a quick rub. "Keep this up and you'll get a special treat, handsome." I kissed him again, then went to Skywarp to reward him for his good behavior.

I had them go over a few more commands, and then taught them some new signals with my servos and wings. Seekers, we're _very_ communicative with our body language. We could have entire conversations with just it. And due to our body language being an integral part of our lives, when it came to military and trineleader commands, it was vital. And I wanted to be able to order my trinemates to do almost anything without me needing to speak. I wanted to show everyone that you could have an obedient trine, and never have to raise a servo against them. My trine would know the most commands, be the best trained, be the most obedient there ever was, and it all would be done with positive reinforcement. With praises, kisses, hugs, goodies, gifts, rewards, and of course to frag me however they wanted to. I want them to _want_ to obey me. To want to be _my_ submissive. To know I loved them and that doing what I ordered wasn't bad and wasn't harming them, but instead doing good for them as well as me, and that they only benefit from obeying me.

And they most certainly would. While I was carrying I could only reward them with so much, but once I wasn't, they would be getting so much interface, oral, servo jobs, and having at me however they so desired. And it all worked.

* * *

I'm surprised to say that Thundercracker didn't attempt anything for the next two decacycles. I wasn't sure why. Was he scheming? Was he just curious to see what happened? Was he still so depressed over losing his brother he just couldn't focus on getting leadership back? Was something else going on? I wasn't sure why, but I watched him. I did not trust him.

I still hadn't told anyone I was carrying or that I was now trineleader. Not Skyfire, Gearshift, my carrier, creations, no one. But, secrets couldn't last forever…

I took my trine to the park to do more training. I was making them do more complex commands, working on following my commands even faster without needing to think, and learning more gestures. I had them doing over a hundred commands with just servo, wing, and helm gestures at this point. And they were learning very fast, and TC actually was smiling a little every time I rewarded him for doing so well.

Well… I just recalled them back to me and in formation behind me after fulfilling a few other commands. I smiled, proud of them as I turned around and gave them kisses, hugs, and told them how awesome they were.

I took a couple of steps back to look at them both. "You guys are so awesome. I love you." I fluttered my wings. "Okay, now I wand tuh duh…" I started to feel dizzy as my words slurred. My trinemates were giving me puzzled looks, but I kept talking, feeling… like I was slipping away from reality. "Sumfing ba ta dummmffrghrrrrrmmm." And everything went black.

I was out, for this, but my trinemates filled me in on what happened at this time.

"Starscream!" They both shouted, rushing forward as I fell backward and crashed onto the ground.

Thundercracker was on the ground beside me instantly, lifting my helm up and checking for a spark pulse.

"What happened?!" Skywarp shrieked, terrified as he was on the ground on the other side of me, trembling while he held my servo.

"He's alive. He's in stasis lock. Systems look like they went into a forced shut down…"

"He fainted? Why?"

"I don't know." Thundercracker picked me up bridal style, my body completely limp. "We need to get him to a hospital.

"On it!" Skywarp touched Thundercracker's arm just before teleporting the three of us.

* * *

I heard voices first before I could see. I slowly onlined, rubbing my faceplates. "Mmmm, wha…? What happened?" I slurred some, looking around. I scrunched up my faceplates when I was kissed simultaneously on my cheekplates on either side by my trinemates.

"Hey, love." Thundercracker said softly to me. This was the first time he spoke to me since I took over. And I almost cried hearing his vocalizer again. "You fell into stasis lock. You're at the hospital now."

"How long was I out?"

"Just a couple of kliks. We haven't been in here long. The doctor is still on his way."

"Did you refuel, Scree? Sometimes you faint if you don't refuel." Skywarp suggested as he pressed his cheekplates against mine, being as close to me as possible.

"No, I did…" I said slowly, beginning to realize what was happening.

There was a knock just before the doctor entered. "Hello, I'm Dr. Kick-Off. So, what's going on?" He asked as he came over.

"We were outside hanging out in the central park when my mate started to blur his words just before falling into stasis lock. He just now onlined." Thundercracker explained.

"Have you been refueling?" The doctor asked as he shined a light in my optics, then ran a scanner over me.

"I have." I said quietly.

The doctor looked at the scanner. "Ah, it was just the energon pressure lowering to the helm. This is very common during carryings due to the need of energon going to the gestation tank to fuel the sparkling. And the changing programs from carrying can add to dizziness. It's a little scary, but completely harmless and normal."

Thundercracker's optics widened as he slowly turned to look at me. Skywarp took a moment before he realized what had been said. He too turned to me with wide optics. I didn't look at them, remaining silent.

"My recommendation is to get more rest and drink plenty of energon. Seeing how you're 4 decacycles along, you should faint less. Usually it happens most during the first trimester. So, unlikely it will happen again." He just smiled. "I'll have a nurse bring you some energon and when you feel like you're ready you're good to go. Unless you need anything else?"

Thundercracker swallowed, looking down for a moment before speaking. "Yes," He made a sound to clear his vocalizer. "Since he's 4 decacycles along… May we have an ultrasound to learn the gender? We haven't had a chance to do that yet."

"Certainly. I'll have them get you set up for that."

It was silent until the doctor had left. Then, Thundercracker let out a heavy, slow exhale, still not looking at me. He looked up for a moment, then back down at my servo he held in his. It was a moment before he spoke. "When were you going to tell me?"

I was silent, thinking, then finally forced myself to be honest. "I was just going to see if I could keep this a secret until I was in labor."

"Why?"

I didn't answer immediately. "I didn't want you to know about my weakness."

"I could have hurt the sparkling." He paused. "It is mine, right?"

The way he asked that hurt. It hurt because he sounded like he wouldn't be surprised if the sparkling belonged to someone else. That he expected betrayal. And given how I had cheated in the past I couldn't blame him.

"Yes, this one is from you. I know exactly when you sparked me. I felt it when it happened." I paused. "I'm not mad about being sparked. I-I'm excited about our fifth."

He didn't speak, just stroking his thumb over the back of my servo, optics lowered, thinking.

I turned to Skywarp, not sure what to expect from him, but he was smirking.

"You beat him when sparked. That's badaft." He gave a wing flutter.

I faintly smiled. "Well, you know… Us carriers naturally are badaft. We're the ones pushing sparklings out our valves and going through the misery of carrying."

He giggled. "Yeah, we are very badaft. The sires don't know what it's like." He kissed me on the lip plates.

I smiled, then looked over at Thunder again. He still was studying my servo, silent, thinking. I exhaled heavily, then took his servos with mine and placed them on my abdominal plates.

"They're kicking already. Started about an orn ago. Feel them?" I asked softly.

He kept his servos on my abdominal plates, waiting, silent, then after a bit he slowly nodded his helm. He hesitated, then rested the side of his helm against my abdominal plates, listening to the faint sounds of our sparkling moving around in there. It wasn't until the little one gave a hard kick that Thundercracker faintly smiled. He lifted his helm, stroked my abdominal plates in a circular motion, then kissed them, his wings giving the slightest flutter.

I had a small smile, seeing my old Thundercracker again, being an excited sire for his newest creation. Maybe… Maybe we did need this sparkling. Maybe this one will help him get his life back together. To heal from the loss of his brother and to recover from what prison had done to him.

The nurses soon came in and I was rolled off on my medberth to another room, my trinemates staying with me. Eventually, the ultrasound was all set up and I saw my little sparkling for the first time on the screen. My wings fluttered, and Thundercracker kissed me on the cheekplates, still holding my servo.

"Congrats, you have a femmling." The nurse finally said after confirming that my sparkling was healthy and had little wings coming in.

Thundercracker pressed his brow against mine, just silent, his optics offline. I knew he was excited, but still upset about so much. I purred my engine, a servo resting on his cheekplates.

"What should we call this one?" I asked barely louder than a whisper, just wanting to talk to him.

He didn't do anything for a moment before kissing me on the lip plates, then speaking softly. "I don't know… I haven't been thinking about it."

"I designated the last four. You should designate this one, my love."

"I'll think about it…"

I was silent a moment before speaking. "You're an amazing sire. This one is impatient to see you. She kicks more when she hears your vocalizer. She knows who you are." He didn't speak, so I continued. "I love you… Thank you for giving me another."

He swallowed, then kissed me. I thought I saw him having to reset his optics. My Thundercracker was there still. I would bring him out. I would have my loving Thundercracker back, and remove traditionalism from him. I would.

* * *

I was found out so I had to just tell everyone. At least about the newest sparkling. I wasn't ready to tell anyone about me being trineleader. I think Thundercracker and I had to figure each other out first before we let the world know.

I gathered the Seekerlets and told them that another sparkling was on the way. Rogue was excited, the mechlings groaned and complained, Dawn didn't care, and Tempest demanded to know why we kept having sparklings. It was a very tough crowd and I was surprised nothing was thrown at me.

I called Gearshift and told him. He wasn't happy about it, obviously knowing I was forced again, but he still told me he was happy for me. Skyfire was very much the same. He grumbled and complained about Thundercracker raping me and forcing sparklings, but still congratulated me for the little one. Carrier was excited, sire couldn't remember which number I was on. He kept getting me confused with my half brother Stratus for some reason. He knew my name, but kept getting the wrong designations of my trinemates and thought I had twelve sparklings, which Stratus had that many at this time. I think he was finally realizing he couldn't keep track of all these new grandcreations. He had almost a thousand at this time, so I forgive him. I sometimes forget if I locked the door five astroseconds after doing so and have to recheck it eight times. He's allowed to forget which creation has which grandcreations.

Anyway, everyone now knew I was carrying a femmling and my job wanted me to go on maternity leave already. I put it off for another decacycle before doing so. During that decacycle Thundercracker didn't speak to me still. He never came to see me, and just avoided everyone. And it really upset me. I thought he was coming out of his shell from the fight, but he wasn't. I still recharged with him every night, and every night he held me close, but still nothing said by him.

I was tired of it. I wanted my Thundercracker back.

I finally just went into his room one orbital cycle and closed the door behind me. He was sitting at his desk, not even looking back at me. I approached, and without hesitation sat on his lap and curled into his broad chassis. I rested my helm on his shoulder, snuggled against him. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, his cheekplates pressed against my brow. I savored this feeling for a little bit before taking his servos and making them rest over my abdominal plates. She kicked a few times, and he faintly grinned when feeling his daughter.

I took one of his servos and held it up, just studying it as it so gently wrapped the digits around my own servo. It held my servo like a delicate crystal flower, lovingly, and peaceful. This servo so careful with me… This servo that for stellar cycles would slap me, punch me, lash a cable and whip across my body, chain me, strangle me, hold me down, and tear my wings. This servo that caused so much pain and suffering to me… That pushed me to try and kill myself… This same servo that would gently hold me, cup my faceplates, rest over my abdominal plates, and sooth me. These servos that did so much bad, caused so much pain and misery… But also so much love and comfort.

I kissed the knuckles of that servo before holding it against my cheekplates, feeling the digits lovingly cup my face. They lifted my helm enough for him to kiss me on the lip plates, my olfactory sensor filling with the scent of oil he had drunk not long ago.

I put his servo back on my abdominal plates, my own resting over his. We just sat there in the silence, feeling our newest creation kicking and moving inside of me, obviously dreaming about something epic. He rested his cheekplates on my brow, his optics dim, letting out a tired exhale.

"I love you." I finally said after a moment. "I always will. I know you're… upset about things. With your brother's death, whatever happened in prison… Zephyr not loving you, me being trineleader, and that we're… not close like we should be. But, I do love you, Thunder. And I wish so much that we were better bonded, that your brother was still alive, that you never went to jail… That our Zephyr loved you… I know things suck… Primus, everything always sucks… It's never fair… But, I want things to improve. I want us to be the best trine ever and just love one another. I want to make you happy, and care for you, and we be friends like we always should have been." I paused. "I became trineleader because I didn't want to leave you. I was so hurt and just… I needed to make things better for all of us. A-and we're going to have another sparkling, we're going to concentrate on loving her and our other daughters, and being wonderful creators. Because you're an amazing sire. You really are. You're so loving, and gentle, and patient, and protective… Just… Need to help a little with cleanup." I faintly smiled. "I know it sucks, but you're going to need to help out more with this one since you're the stay-at-home creator now. Which is a very important job." I kissed him. "And you're going to be amazing at it. Because you're amazing. And I love you."

He still didn't say anything, his optics dim, looking down, servos holding my abdominal plates still. I studied his faceplates for a moment before speaking.

"I forgive you. I forgive you for hurting me so much… For raping me and forcing creations on me." I swallowed, having a hard time saying this because it was so much to say. "I know none of it was you. I know it was all these awful lies and you learning from your sire, and I learned that I had to take it… It's not our fault. We're all victims." I paused, some coolant pooling in my optics. "I do forgive you. I love you, Thundercracker. I never want to lose you. You're everything to me. And despite the hell you put me through… You still gave me my daughters, and I know you love me, even if it's hard for you to know how to show it at times. I will never abandon you." I was silent for a bit. "Thank you for being mine. You were the right choice."

I'm not sure if it was everything I said or some of the things I said, but it was something that came out of my mouth that caused coolant to begin to leak from his optics. My wings lowered, but I still faintly smiled, seeing the real Thundercracker. The Thundercracker who had to hide himself for stellar cycles because of the lie that trineleaders have to be emotionless. The Thundercracker I had seen glimpses of before, and only truly witnessed when he thought I had succeeded in committing suicide.

There was the mech I trined and loved. That was my Thundercracker.

I cupped his faceplates and pressed my brow against his, our olfactory sensors touching. I looking into his optics, and he finally looked into mine, stained with coolant. I kissed him on the lip plates, slowly, lovingly.

"Hey, Thundercracker." I said quietly, smirking a little. "I've missed you. I missed you a lot." I kissed him again. "Don't ever leave me again. I trined you, not that other guy. This… This is the mech I love and would die for. The mech who sired my creations. I want this mech for the rest of eternity until the bitter end. I want this mech to just hold me and tell me that he loves me. Because this is the mech I love and forgive. I could never stay mad at my mech."

I am not sure if my words touched him that much or he had a breakdown, but he started to cry harder as he held me close. I hugged him, comforting him, so happy to have my Thundercracker back, even if briefly, for the other guy took some time to boot out the door.

"I love you." He finally said after some time. No apology, but I had forgiven him, so none required.

"I love you more." I replied quietly.

"I love you the most."

I smiled. I love this mech.

* * *

Thundercracker was slowly beginning to talk more and come out of his room, but still kept to himself a lot. I kept finding myself purging into the waste disposal, being so pathetic and sick, and pathetically sick. And I started to get angrier. I at one point just started to scream and throw things at Skywarp when he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him. And then I started to cry because I ate a slice of cake and wouldn't stop screaming how fat I was… This was a bad carrying. I even bit Skyfire when he came to visit… And it was on his face…

And it was after I bit Skyfire that Thundercracker went back to hiding in his room. Wise choice, TC. Very wise. Because just a couple of orbital cycles later I bit Skywarp on the face… And it was because he said he was tired and I went off on him telling him I was the tired one and… After that he also would hide in his room.

But I never went off at my daughters or nephews. Somehow, they stayed safe. I even at one point started screaming at Gearshift that he was a "whore" and he needed to stop saying I was "pretty." It was all a very bad carrying. And I also fainted like eight more times. One time was in the middle of me cleaning out my waste tank! So embarrassing onlining in the middle of doing that and your trinemates are there freaking out over you. Ugh… Also not nice falling into stasis lock in front of your daughters. Or the store. I also collapsed in the cleaning supply aisle. Right onto my face, too. Skywarp failed to catch me. Slagger…

That's how my life was for a little over a decacycle. I was about half an orn away from the due date when number five decided to make her entrance. I was cuddled in berth with my trinemates, Thundercracker holding me against his chassis, Skywarp snuggled against me, the three of us all cuddled together and warm. I onlined, feeling that familiar feeling. I gasped, the pain building, then I cried out.

"Ahhh! Nrrrgh!" I clutched whatever my servos held, curling into myself, my optics widening from the immense pain.

Thundercracker and Skywarp were online instantly, flaring their wings against danger.

"What's wrong?!" Thundercracker demanded as he sat up, getting over me.

"She's coming! Argh! Now! She's coming now!" I shouted, feeling so much happening at once, waves of pain rushing through my frame.

Thundercracker picked me up and started out the room, Skywarp behind him. Thundercracker got down the stairs and into the living room when I felt her already making her way out.

"Stop! Put me down!" I shouted.

"What? But we need to get you to-"

"SHE'S COMING, _NOW_!" I shrieked.

He set me down quickly, and I opened my codpiece and spread out my legs. Skywarp held my servo and had me rest my helm on his lap as Thundercracker sat between my legs,

"Frag, she's coming out already." He said quickly.

"AHHH!" I cried, squeezing Skywarp's servo.

"What's going on?!" Zephyr demanded as she ran down the stairs, onlined from my shouting. The other Seekerlets were behind her.

"Zephyr, get a bucket of warm water and towels!" Thundercracker ordered her. "Storm, grab the softest, warmest blanket we have! The rest of you don't crowd! Starscream is giving birth."

"I'M DYING! AHH!" I shrieked.

Storm and Zephyr ran to complete their tasks, while the others did gather around, curious about my suffering. Zephyr was soon beside her sire, helping him, as Storm stood by with the blanket.

The sparkling came out just astroseconds after Zephyr and Storm returned. It was a very fast labor. Zephyr helped her sire get the sparkling clean, wiping her down with warm, damp towels, then carefully drying her before wrapping her in the blanket. She coughed a little as Thundercracker gently patted her back to get fluids out of her, then he handed my sparkling to me.

I held my newest daughter close, panting, feeling absolutely exhausted despite it being so fast. The Seekerlets were all around now, sitting on the floor, trying to get as close to their youngest sibling as they could. I managed a faint smile, looking down at the newest member of my family.

"Hey, sweetie." I said softly. "You came out a little early."

"She's so tiny." Rogue commented as she leaned over.

"Well, she's premature. She wasn't able to get big and fat like the rest of you did." I replied.

"Why did she come out so fast?" Skyblast asked.

"It gets easier for them to come out the more you have. She could just slide right out."

Thundercracker leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates. "Want to go to the hospital still?"

I nodded. "Yeah. She should be checked out."

"Do the rest of you punks want to come with?" Thundercracker inquired of his creations.

"I'll come!" Rogue exclaimed excitedly.

Thundercracker picked me up bridal style, holding me close to him. I felt safe in those powerful arms, our daughter curled against my frame. Her sire kissed me on the lip plates, taking a moment to press his brow against mine, his optics on our youngest creation.

"She's beautiful." He said softly.

I faintly smiled. "It's because I told her not to look like you."

"That so?"

"Yeah. You're not handsome enough. But I still love you."

"And you're gorgeous." He kissed me again.

I fluttered my wings a little, but felt so tired doing even that, so I just rested my helm against Thunder's chest and offlined my optics. But, I was quickly reminded that I was no longer allowed to recharge for the little one started to fuss. I opened my chestplates and helped her begin to nurse, faintly smiling at her, excited to start this bonding process with my fifth.

Thundercracker took me to the hospital, Rogue and Skywarp coming with. The sparkling was healthy despite being early, and everything was fine with my body, minus being a little low on energon. Once the sparkling and I were cleared Thundercracker took us all home. We returned to berth, and this time I faced Thundercracker, placing our daughter between us, his strong arms holding me close, but not enough to crush the little one.

He seemed determined to kiss my lip plates off me because he just couldn't stop kissing me. He was excited, he was so happy, and he needed to express his love to me in some physical form. I took it, smiling, loving these moments when he was so affectionate.

"I probably should recharge, my love." I finally managed to say between kisses. "I'm pretty tired.

He gave me one last kiss before pressing his brow against mine. "Love you."

"Love you, more." I purred my engine.

He looked down at our daughter, who was already recharging, clinging to my chassis, not wanting to leave her carrier. He exhaled heavily, then spoke quietly.

"Starlight."

"Hmm?" I perked my wings, looking up at him.

"Let's designate her Starlight." He repeated.

I smiled. "Yeah… I like that. Starlight it is. Take that from my half sister?"

"Any designation is shared by one of your siblings." He grunted.

My smile grew a little. "Yeah, they all kinda are."

He took my servo, raised it to his lips, and kissed it before holding it. "Rest well, my love. I'll keep you safe."

"I know you will."

He gave me one last kiss before the two of us finally went into recharge.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I started the old routine all over again. Refueling myself with lots of additives while my daughter hungrily nursed, not able to do much else when she was refueling constantly. I did what homework I could, helped my daughters and nephews with their homework, and just did what a carrier had to do for my sparklings.

Thundercracker kept watching me as I cared for his creations, cleaned, and did what I've always done to take care of my family. All the while having a newly emerge suckling from me. I had noticed at the time, but didn't say anything.

It was evening when I was in the washroom getting Starlight to calm down so I could clean out her waste tank. I had been in there for maybe a klik, trying to calm my daughter when Thundercracker stood in the doorway, watching. I ignored him, seeing to our creation first.

"It's okay. I know, sweetie. Life isn't fair." I bounced her gently, kissing her brow, then carefully set her down on the stand. "Don't be so fussy, love. Carrier is going to be doing this a lot for you." I kissed her again, then carefully opened the panel to her waste tank. I grabbed the wipes, then perked my wings. "Some people would say staring is rude." I spoke so he knew I was talking to him.

He took a few steps in, knowing he couldn't hide now. "I'm not staring. Just watching." He said softly.

I turned to him. "Why? Cleaning out a waste tank isn't the most exciting of things."

He was silent, not knowing what to say. I eyed him, then turned back to our daughter. I was about to begin to wipe her clean, but then turned back to him.

"Come over here." I gave a nod of my helm to gesture him over.

He approached, wings perking. I handed him the wipes, then stepped aside.

"Um, I-" He stuttered, confused.

"You have seven creations now and not one of them have you ever cleaned up after, refueled, or done anything for other than provide for and some playtime. You helped create them. I think it's time you helped care for them."

"Star, I never… I don't know-"

I put my servos over his. "I'll show you. I'm not just going to hand my daughter off to her sire and let you go in blind. Here, be gentle, and just wipe it clean. She's too small to dump anything." I helped guide his servos to clean her tiny waste tank. "And we throw that away. Now, clean all around. Good job. So, just carefully close her up. And that's it. That's how you clean out your daughter's waste tank. Be sure to wash your servos."

He was silent, just looking down at his daughter, who had fallen into recharge during this. His servo was about the same size of her frame. She just looked so tiny and delicate next to him.

I watched him a moment before kissing him on the lip plates. "You did well. I'm proud of you. So, so proud." I kissed him again. "You're an amazing sire. Thank you for being the one to give me creations. No one else would suffice."

He looked down at me, but remained silent still. He walked over to the sink and began to wash his servos. I picked up Starlight and held her against my chest, listening to her tiny engine hum. I grinned at her, admiring my beautiful daughter. Thundercracker approached from behind and gave my aft a smack before wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me on the neck. I didn't react, although part of me felt like I was about to be raped, I held my ground and remained calm.

"You're still better at this." He said into my audio receptor.

I smirked. "Carriers always are." I looked up at him. "But that doesn't mean sires can't come close."

He kissed me on the lip plates, hugging me close. He was silent, just hold me, optics dim as he studied our daughter. He kissed me on the neck cables again before speaking.

"She looks like you."

I faintly smiled. "You know, they say that daughters take some of their carrier's beauty. If you keep giving me femmlings I'm going to become hideous and you won't want them to look like me anymore."

He smirked, kissing me on the cheekplates. "You're silly." He pecked a kiss to my lip plates. "Love you."

"Love you more."

"Love you most." He kissed a little firmer on my lip plates, then gave my aft a playful pat before releasing me.

I perked my wings, watching him walk out of the washroom. I looked down at our daughter, then vented a sigh.

"I have a long way to go with that mech. But, we'll get to him. We'll fix him. We will." I kissed her brow, then studied her faceplates. "You look like him. Stop stealing my mate's good looks. I want to keep them to myself."

She didn't care. She just kept recharging.

* * *

Thundercracker started to help out more. He began to offer to clean her waste tank for me, and then to get more energon. I started to catch him cleaning dishes, and cleaning up after the Seekerlets, and even starting to take Sierra out for walks. I wasn't sure if he was plotting against me doing this, so I kept my optic on him, but… He never tried anything. He even started to take the younger three to school and picking them up, as well as take them to friends' houses, to school events, and wherever else they wanted to go. He even, believe it or not, began to take out the trash.

This went on as I healed from giving birth, and couldn't do much but just sit around and nurse my sparkling. And when I would be sitting on the couch, letting Starlight refuel, he would sit beside me and pull me onto his lap. And he kept kissing me, but still… He barely ever said anything to me.

Starlight took about ten orbital cycles before she onlined her optics. They were orange, like her grandsire's. I called my sire to let him know. Starlight was so happy to finally see us, but she watched Thundercracker the most. She already was showing us that she was going to be a sire femmling. But I was okay with that. I needed to share my daughters, and I was fine with sharing one with my mate.

As time passed… I felt like things were getting better, but also not. Thundercracker may have been helping to clean and care for his creations, but he still just didn't talk to me or do much. He would hug and kiss me, but never asked for interface or anything, even after I had finished healing. He didn't even ask Skywarp for interface, which was just so odd because he always had to interface, even if it meant using his servo.

He also remained quiet when I didn't kick out Zephyr from the trine despite her turning 25. She didn't have enough Shanix to move into her own apartment, so it was best for her just to stay until she had saved enough or found a better job.

I just didn't know what to make of Thundercracker's behavior. I had thought for sure he would be quick to challenge me for leadership, to be giving me trouble constantly and needing discipline, to just… Be aggressive and snippy with me. But he wasn't. He was quiet, he cleaned, he kept to himself, and he would hug me from behind at random just to hold me and whisper that he loved me.

I just didn't understand how someone who was so needing to be in control, so aggressive, violent, and abusive would just almost overnight… Not be. Why won't you challenge me? Why won't you insult me? What was going on?

I couldn't read him, just speculate. And I was worried about him scheming. But, Thundercracker knew he was bigger and stronger than me, so why not just walk over and start beating the slag out of me? He could easily win again, especially if he took me by surprise.

But the slagger did nothing.

It was almost a decacycle since I had given birth to Starlight that I finally decided I needed to reconnect with him. I gave Starlight to Skywarp, and waited until the Seekerlets were in berth. I went into Thundercracker's room and closed the door behind me.

He was lying on his berth looking at a datapad. I approached, climbed onto the berth, pushed the datapad down, and kissed him on the lip plates. He hesitated, then kissed slowly back. I got over him, my servos starting to feel over his frame, a little anxious since I never really initiated with him too many times before. He set the datapad down on the nightstand, then began to feel my sides, those large servos roving over my body and squeezing my chestplates. I kissed with more passion, sitting on him so my codpiece was against his.

I broke the kiss, optics locking on his, pausing, making sure he was paying attention to me before I spoke. "Do you want to interface with me? Nothing is happening more unless you verbally consent."

He swallowed, understanding why I was saying that. He slowly nodded, then quietly spoke. "Yes. I consent. I want this."

I faintly smirked. "I want it too." I kissed him, our servos feeling over our frames again.

I reached a servo down and rubbed his codpiece. He quickly opened it, but instead of me grabbing his spike, I began to pleasure around his valve. He bit his lower lip plate, nervous about being penetrated, but he submitted. He covered his spike back over and removed the cover for his valve. His optics locked on mine, and I could see he was scared. He never had a good experience with his valve being used, and I wanted to change that.

"I love you." I said softly. "I will not hurt you. And if I do, tell me to stop and I will. We're bonding. There's no pain in bonding."

He slowly nodded, optics reverting downward. I opened my codpiece and let my spike out. I kissed him on the lip plates, purring my engine.

"Want to touch me?"

He shook his helm. I reached down and stroked my own spike, preparing myself. I then sent electrical shocks into his valve, getting him to lubricate. He bit his lower lip plate, still not looking at me, his servos holding my hips.

I felt that we were both ready, so I started to arrange our legs, getting his on my hips and making sure we were both comfortable. His wings lowered, but he remained silent. I took my spike in my servo, and slowly, carefully, guided it into him. He gasped, his optics widening, and servos clutching my waist. I pushed myself all the way in, adjusted myself a bit more, then leaned over him. I placed both servos on the berth on either side of his helm, my optics on his. He swallowed, watching me anxiously. I paused, never seeing that look on his face before. It upset me. I wanted him to smile again.

"I love you." I said before beginning to thrust slowly and gently into him.

"Hah! Mmmmm!" He lolled his helm back, optics offline, and his legs pressing against me as he tried closing them instinctively.

I took advantage of his exposed neck and began to kiss it, never ceasing in my thrusting. The sounds he made… They were whimpered moans, not use to this feeling, but I could tell he wasn't hating it. It was just new and scary, but after half a klik he was beginning to calm down. He looked at me again, still making so much noise, but I didn't mind it. I was a screaming mess when I first had him in me, so he was allowed to make whatever sounds he wanted to make. It would never compare to my Primus-awful shrieks.

I smiled at him, going a little harder and faster, but not too much. He moaned louder, grit his denta some, and kept moving his legs, wanting to close them. I felt his frame heating up, his servos grasping at my hips firmly. His wings were as low as they could go, more from being nervous than anything else.

"Shh, shhh." I tried reassuring him. "It's alright. I love you." I kissed him on the lip plates. "You're doing amazing, Thunder. I'm proud of you. So, _so_ proud."

He gave a quick nod, not really looking at me. I went a little harder and faster, and he moaned louder.

"Ohhhhh, uhhhhhh, mmmmmnnnuhhhhh!" He moaned, then gasped. "Ohhh, Starscream…. Hahhh."

I smirked, panting some myself. "Thunder." I said lovingly, kissing him. "My Thunder. All mine."

He managed a sheepish smile between his obnoxious moans, and I had to flutter my wings at that.

"You're damn gorgeous." I continued. "I love you. Hah, I love you so much. My trinemate. Always mine. Till the bitter end, my love."

He swallowed. "Till the, ohhh, b-bitter end… Hahh…. My love."

I fluttered my wings harder, silencing him with a kiss. He just kept stupidly moaning, eliciting a giggle from me.

It took longer than usual, with how slow I was going, him anxious, and us just… gently loving on each other, but eventually we did overload. It wasn't the most powerful of overloads, but it did feel good. No pain, no burning, just the sensation of our love-making filling us.

I panted over him, smiling. "Liked that?"

Thundercracker looked up at me, looking so small for some reason. He bit his lip plate, then nodded, optics darting away as he did. "Yes." He replied quietly.

I flicked my wings. "No, you didn't."

"I did." He said quickly, looking back at me.

"You didn't." I kissed him. "And that's okay."

I pulled out of him and started to adjust our legs. He watched, wings still low, not reacting much. I got his legs under me, folded my spike in and uncovered my valve. I began to pleasure my valve with one servo as the other tapped his spike cover. He hesitated, then released it. I began to stroke his spike, getting it to harden quickly. Once we were both prepared, I lifted myself up, and then lowered myself onto his spike, gasping softly as I felt him stretching me.

I gave us a moment to get use to the feeling before leaning over him, kissing him on the lip plates, then smirking.

"I prefer it this way, too." I fluttered my wings, my smile growing.

He faintly smiled back, his servos slowly rising up to hold my waist again. I pressed my brow against his, then nuzzled olfactory sensors.

"I love you. I love you so much." I kissed him. "I'm going to enjoy riding you."

"Please, do." He replied quietly.

I straightened myself out, servos resting on his chestplates, then I began to lift myself up and down, gasping softly, feeling him moving inside of me. His servos roved up my body, groping my chestplates. I held his servos, sitting even straighter now, going faster in my humping. He smirked, wings slowly rising, enjoying this so much better. My wings fluttered, loving it more as well. He even thrust up into me, making me loudly gasp. My wings fluttered, and I lustfully smiled at him, wanting more of that. And he gave it to me. I gasped, moaning, needing all of him.

He yanked me down and kissed me on the lip plates, one servo holding the back of my helm while the other reached down to squeeze my aft, and give it a hard smack. Primus, that made me wild. I needed more of him. I wrapped my arms around his helm, kissing hungrily, our glossas inside each others mouths, optics offline. Both servos grasped my aft, and I was riding his spike as hard as I could, but it wasn't enough.

He wasn't getting enough as well, for he suddenly sat up, flipped us over, and got on top of me. I lolled my helm back, backstrut arching, smiling broadly as he took control. He got my legs adjusted quickly before beginning to absolutely pound the slag out of me. It was hard and fast, but it wasn't bad pain. It was wonderful. It was our love and passion for each other reaching the climax. No hate, no malice, just lust, desire, love, and _need_.

His servos roughly held my neck and thigh, my legs kicking up because I couldn't hold still anymore. I was a moaning mess, wrapping my arms around his helm still, needing him to be as close to me as possible. He bit my neck cables, tugging some, then bit my chestplates, my shoulders, claiming me as his.

"Yes! OH, YES!" I screamed, wings fluttering so hard, losing myself to this amazing feeling. "Primus, Thunder! More! Ahh! Yes!"

He flicked his wings, optics narrowing, and engine growling. He was so turned on, lust emanating from his being. He grasped my neck, holding it tightly as he pinned me down. He was choking me some, but I… I liked it. I wanted it. My smile only grew. And I felt like… I needed pain. I wanted him to hit me. I needed something. I needed to be brought down. I had to punished.

"Oh, yes!" I fluttered my wings, holding the wrist of the servo choking me. "Hit me."

He raised an optical ridge, not sure why I would say that. Not even I know why I ask for these things either. But I needed it. I _craved_ it.

"Hit. Me." I snapped, legs tightening around his waist, optics narrowing.

He hesitated, then slapped me across my cheekplates leaving a nasty sting. I turned my helm back to him, giggling. I grabbed his chin and pulled his face down, kissing him on the lip plates, he started to kiss back, but I bit him on the lip plates hard. He growled his engine, optics narrowing. He forced my helm up, freeing himself, then bit my neck hard, tugging harshly. I gasped, writhing from the pain, but it just sent more waves of desire and lust through me. I needed more pain. I need more spike. I needed to be ripped apart!

"Hurt me." I snapped, a servo grasping his face, digging my digits into his cheekplates, trying to claw them.

He snorted, wings flicking. "Shut up, you little brat." He growled, so turned on and into this. His own kink was being aggressive and violent during interface. And I fragging love it.

I slapped him across the faceplates. "I'm you're slagging _'whore_.' Get it right the first time." I yanked him down for another kiss.

He growled his engine, pulling his face away. "You want to be hurt, don't you?" He snarled.

I giggled, wings fluttering. "I think I deserve something for being so naughty. I may be trineleader.." I pulled him close to me again, lowering my vocalizer. "But that doesn't mean I'm a saint. Your job is to remind me to behave, remember?"

His servo around my neck tightened, cutting off air. I wheezed, then giggled, wings fluttering, grabbing his wrist once more. He flared his wings, glaring at me, then smirked.

"You're mine. And I'm going to make you scream the way I want to."

I flicked my wings back. "Tear me apart, slagger."

"I'm going to do more than just that, slut."

"Ah!" I cried as he began to brutally thrust into me, giving me no mercy at all.

I winced, I squirmed, I clawed at him, I kicked, but I was helpless beneath him. And despite being helpless, despite being trapped, I didn't feel like… Like he was dominating me or raping me. I felt.. That for once we really were just playing, so wrapped up in the passion. And I think because when I looked into his optics now… I saw the playfulness, I saw the lust, and the need to do sexual things to me. But I didn't see hatred, anger, or a desire to hurt me as in the past. The optics before me now were different from the ones in the past. This wasn't the same mech. This mech with me now was Thundercracker. It wasn't that other guy who raped and beat me. This was my trinemate. And I wanted him in every single way imaginable.

"Harder! Ah! Tear me apart!" I shouted, and he did just that. I thought the berth was going to break.

I opened my chest plates, revealing my spark, and he dove in, biting me in there, making me scream, pinning my wrists to the berth, and never ceasing his brutal thrusts.

His chestplates soon opened and he pressed his chest down on mine, our sparks connecting, still thrusting so hard into me, our passion blinding us and we quickly began to kiss, glossas intertwined. Both of his servos soon were holding my neck, and I wrapped my arms around his helm. My legs were kicking, peds scraping against the berthtop, and legs hugging him, unable to get them to hold still for any moment. My wings were fluttering non-stop, and I could not stop wiggling, arching my backstrut, and moving every part of my body, so overcome by this raw emotion, this incredible sensation, just everything of him in me, holding me, feeling him, just wanting needing, _having_ to be part of him. He was mine. I needed him in everyway. Every. _Single_. Fragging. _Way_! I never wanted this to end, I wanted him to bite me, tear me apart, hit me, smack me, kiss me, hug me, hold me, beat me with a cable, cuddle me, cut me, nuzzle me, flog me, just.. do things to me! I needed him. I belonged to him. He was mine. He was everything to me. He was my entire world in this moment, and I never wanted this moment to end.

Then, we both painfully, viciously overloaded, all the unadulterated passion, love, aggression, and raw emotion surging through our connected frames, filling us with such ecstasy I thought I would explode from it. I screamed, throwing my helm back, clutching him close to me. The pure energy flowed throw us savagely and into the berth, feeling like eternity, but quickly ending, leaving us panting hard, cooling fans whirling loudly, wings trembling, heated exhales caressing faceplates, and red optics locked onto each other.

We just watched the other, not speaking, not thinking, nothing. And after what felt like millions of vorns, he slowly kissed me on the lip plates, carefully savoring this calm moment with me after that hurricane. I couldn't move, I was in a daze or something. I had never felt anything like that before. I never imagined such feelings could be felt, but we both had experienced it. We both learned so much from each other in that brief time.

"I love you." He whispered, pressing his brow against mine.

I purred my engine, suddenly realizing how tired I was, my limbs feeling like dead weight. "I love you, more." I quietly said, unable to speak much louder, my vocalizer and throat sore from the screaming and choking.

"I love you, most." He kissed me yet again.

I smiled up at him, a servo cupping his faceplates. I just studied him, his servo holding mine, keeping it there on his cheekplates. Our optics never looked away, not saying a word, but so much being said between us. He kissed the palm of my servo, engine purring softly.

"That was amazing." I finally said to him.

"Yeah… It was." He sheepishly smiled. "You were a little crazy, though."

My smile grew. "I'm learning new things about myself. I think we both are still learning about each other, too."

"Yeah…"

"I would love to do that again."

"Definitely."

"Let's do it in front of your sire." I giggled.

He let out a dry chuckle, looking away briefly. "I don't think that would end so well, beautiful."

"Oh? Think he'll be jealous?"

"I think he'd want to beat the slag out of me for losing a fight to you."

"So, he'll be jealous that we have a better relationship than he does with his trinemates."

"He doesn't see it that way…"

I held his face with both servos now, studying him for a moment. "How do _you_ see it?"

He was silent, looking down as he thought, then he vented a sigh. "I don't know." He finally said, looking up, but not at me.

I cocked my helm slightly. "Don't know about me leading, or our relationship, or… what?"

"Everything. I don't know. I just… I don't know how to answer your question."

"Don't know, or don't want to?"

"Am I being ordered to answer?" He looked at me.

I paused. "No. You don't have to. I just…" I was silent a moment. "I want our relationship to change. I want to be a trine and just love each other, be open to each other, no more lies, no cheating, no more tears no more being suicidal…" I swallowed. "I want us to be for each other a hundred percent and no more fighting. I don't want anymore pain. I want trust, and love, and for us to be equals." I paused. "I love you, Thundercracker. And I want us to work out. I want to be with you forever. I can't be with someone who hurts me. I don't ever want to see that other mech again. I want just you. You're the mech I love. Not the mech who made me attempt suicide."

There was coolant streaming down his cheekplates by the time I finished. He nodded his helm, kissing my servo again. "I don't want you to ever do that again." He said softly. "I love you. I'm sorry."

"Please, promise me you'll try to make this work. I want to be with you forever."

"I want to be with you forever, too."

"Think we can do this?" I slowly perked my wings.

"Maybe. I'll try. I'll have to see."

"Talk to me about it. How are you feeling?"

"I don't slagging know how I'm feeling. I don't know if I can do this."

"We're doing this together. We're strong. We can get through all of this slag, rebuild our relationship and make it bigger and stronger than before. The three of us. We will be the best trine ever. I promise."

"I want us to work. I do."

"I know you do. I know so much has been told to us. These awful lies. Th-that we're supposed to hurt the ones we love a-and do terrible things to the other. I don't… I don't know if you understand those things are wrong yet, but I'm going to help you. I promise. we'll break these chains together. We're both so messed up in the helm… we both have a long ways to go to get over all that has been done and told to us. I don't know all the answers, but I want to find them with you. I want to do everything with you." I swallowed, feeling myself wanting to cry, watching him trying to hold himself together, wishing I knew what was going on in his processor. "I want us to always be happy, to always love each other, to become those old, grouchy neighbors that spy on those around us. To hold each other in the dark and light times. To be together, when our sparks are old and barely holding on. And to be with each other if we ever do leave this world. And to watch our daughters grow, give us beautiful grandcreations, get some son-in-laws, and watch many generations of our descendents graduating and doing things I'll never get around to doing." I paused. "I want to explore the world, the galaxy, with you. See everything there is to see, learn, laugh, and just live with you and Skywarp. I never want our love to vanish, our sparks to cease flaring when thinking about the other. You are my world, and I want my world with me every astrosecond of my life." I swallowed. "You think we can do this?"

He nodded, still not looking at me. "I'll try. I… I don't know."

"We'll figure things out together. I promise. I'm here for you. Now and always, until the bitter end."

"Till the bitter end."

I paused, then spoke, keeping my optics on his. "You are mine, and I am yours. I will be true to you and only you. To love you, to cherish you, to be faithful, honorable, courageous, generous, kind, loving, understanding, and humble. To be yours through the hard times, as well as the easy. To pick you up when you are hurt, to support you when you are struggling, to lead you through the darkness, to help you in your direst joor. To be your foundation of hope, love, and peace. To never surrender when you need me to fight by your side against any and all enemies. To defend you even when there is no hope. To never flee, to never cower, to never hide. To be everything you ever needed in a friend, a lover, a brother. To be yours and only yours. To fly by your side until no more, and to never betray your trust. To never falter. This I swear to you, my new part. My completed spark. Together we are, forever unseparated, united through hell, we are one. Trine till the bitter end. This I swear to you, my trinemate, my brother, my friend. My life, my spark, we are one, till we are none."

He swallowed, taking a moment. "I swear to you, upon this cycle, that I will always be faithful, respectful, patient, understanding, kind, caring, and above all else yours. To be your protector, your best friend, your brother, your sword and your shield. To never falter, to never flee, to face the hard times by your side. To fight for you, carry you when you fall, kill if need be. To be the trinemate you deserve, and always try my best to be worthy of your love. To never, ever let you be alone and scared. To fly with you though hell, and never leave your side even as the world burns around us. It will protect you, care for you, and never lead you astray. I will cry with you, laugh with you, and always be yours. I am your pillar of strength, your light in the darkness, your guiding servo when you are lost. I will listen to all your troubles, and do my best to help you through them. I will be your lover, your friend, your partner in all things. This I swear to you, my new part. My completed spark. Together we are, forever unseparated, united through hell, we are one. Trine till the bitter end. This I swear to you, my trinemate, my brother, my friend. My life, my spark, we are one, till we are none."

I fluttered my wings, then kissed him on the lip plates. "I love you so slagging much." I kissed him again. "We better get some recharge. I am exhausted."

He slowly nodded. "Yeah, need to take the younglings to school."

"Dammit, you have to get out of me." I smirked.

"I could stay." He smirked.

"Then I'll be walking all weird… Out, big guy." I playfully shoved his chestplates.

He kissed me again, then pulled out. I closed all of my plates and lied on my side. He closed his, lied down in front of me, and pulled me close to him. I snuggled into his broad chassis, wings fluttering.

"Love you, sexy."

He didn't answer immediately. "Love you more, beautiful."

I just purred my engine, falling into recharge quickly, absolutely exhausted from all of that. But I was feeling so amazing.

Things were _finally_ for once looking up in my miserable life. I was so happy. Maybe things would stay wonderful and become perfect? I hoped so. I really did.

* * *

 **There. Another chapter for you assholes. And I threw in an almost 10 page sex scene. You perverts. I know you enjoyed that. You make me sick.**

 **So, positive reinforcement training (reward for good behavior, ignore bad) is the ONLY way to train/teach ANYONE. Whether they are children, dogs, cats, horses, pigs, bears, whatever. NEVER hit or yell at a child or non-human animal. All that is is abuse, and causes them to fear, be traumatized, and actually has a negative impact of learning. Positive reinforcement is the ONLY way to go. If you look at my deviantART (Ga-Maleven on deviantART) I do have an Educational Journal where I discuss more on why hitting and yelling at children is bad with scientific articles (it's the one titled about abortion and raising children), then I have another for dogs (the one for pet overpopulation). Check them out to learn more!**

 **So, yes, Starscream is using positive reinforcement training on his trine and this not only builds a stronger bond since fear and pain isn't being used, rather love, encouragement, and praise. If you make someone happy to do something and want to do it because they get good things, then they learn faster and are more willing to do it. Making someone act or do something out of fear makes them not learn as fast, not retain the knowledge, not want to do it, and then they go off to abuse and hurt others. So, Starscream is going to have such well trained trinemates because he's actually building their confidence and making them happy to obey him. To love being ordered around by him because they get love, affection, his joy, and of course humpy times. And it's because of this his trine does become the most obedient and well trained, as I have noted in other fics.**

 **But, he'll never be able to train them to stop staring at dat booty of his. Some things, you just can't train out of people. :P**

 **Seekers train trines in this manner due to being a warrior culture. They need to order each other around as quietly as possible so enemies can't hear, and not to depend on commlinks due to possible interference, someone listening in, one being damaged, etc. It's something they just continue to do due to always needing to be prepared to fight. Just as they teach their babies how to fight and kill since birth, they train their trines how to be the most effective in battle working as a team. A very gay team. So gay!**

 **You sometimes slur your words before fainting. And fainting can happen when you're pregnant. Sometimes the body makes a mistakes of sending too much blood to the baby and not enough to the mother's brain so it can cause them to faint. A blood loss to the brain also can happen when the baby is taking a lot of space and when they kick and wiggle in their sleep they hit a vein and causes blood to momentarily not all get to the brain. But, it usually happens to dramatic changes in hormones. Being pregnant does a LOT to you. Be more appreciative of us female animals and the shit we go through! Well, I'm never having a spawn... Ew... But I still suffer menstrual shit... And that sometimes feels like actual labor... Yay... Never having one of these spawn and yet I must still suffer... I want to be spayed... Human overpopulation, asexual lesbian, aromantic... All the reasons I won't procreate, but none saved me from menstrual cycles... *dies***

 **Kick-Off is the name of a canon Transformers character, but the one in this chapter is not the same as the canon one. I just wanted to use the name rather than make up another. Because I'm lazy like that. Deal with it.**

 **Starlight is the name of one of Starscream's half sisters. Again, reusing names because I'm lazy.**

 **You'll just have to keep reading this fic to find out what's actually going on in TC's mind and why he's acting like this. MWUAHAHAHAHA!**

 **And Starscream is not healed from his abuse. Not at all. He is slowly healing, but he's still very unwell mentally. He was able to feel safe and turned on enough when interfacing with Thundercracker in this chapter, but his emotions still are in waves, he's still needing to build his confidence, he's still trying to get over everything, the PTSD, depression, etc. Trust me, the no fun mental illness shit will haunt him still for a while. It's hard to recover from abuse, but he's trying.**

 **I am like 11 pages into the next chapter. Don't know when that will be posted. I have 3 more weeks of college then I'm done FOREVER. Well, minus I got an extension for one class which I'll have a month to complete once classes end. After losing my baby things just have been so hard, fallen being in two classes, and... Yeah. But, professors are helping. So, while all my other classes end in 3 weeks, the hardest class I have that extension on and can do all the homework for it at the end of the semester. For now, I must complete the smaller classes, 2 of which end week after next, senior project has been extended for me till the senior show, history class is just annoying but I have like 3 weeks for it, then Advanced Game Animation is the one I got the long extension on, and Game Design Practicum I am with a group and they basically are doing everything so I don't have to do much.**

 **Just so you all know my life for the next month. Oh, and once I graduate I am leaving my current job and start a new job first week of June. So, hopefully things will be steady once I graduate and start that new job!**

 **Also, I was FINALLY approved by a rescue! I have applied to 16 thus far and like... 2 have been assholes and everyone else just never gets back to me... Please pray that the rescue that accepted me, that their little German Shepherd puppy does NOT get taken by the people seeing him tomorrow. If they don't take him I'm next inline. I want him. So, cast some voodoo curses or something!**

 **As for my own mental health? Heh... Oh, you don't want to know. I am not better. I wanted to drive into oncoming traffic the other day. Yeah, I'm absolutely dying, I'm still crying constantly, my heart still hurts with guilt, and... I'm NOT doing well.  
**

 **Yesterday was Maggie's birthday. If she were still here should would be 14 years old. April 19th... And Genevieve was born around this time, so she would be 16 if still here. I miss my babies so much. 2 years since Genevieve passed away now... My beautiful babies. I will never have a biological child. My furbabies are my children, and I'm hurting as any mother who loses their offspring hurts. It just isn't fair.**


	23. Trine Changes

**Chapter 23**

I onlined the next orbital cycle feeling amazing. Like I actually wanted to do something other than stay in berth and cry about my miserable life. I looked up, seeing my trinemate still recharging, his arms holding me close to him. I scooted some and kissed him on the lip plates. He stirred, not fully onlining, so I kept kissing him all over his faceplates, olfactory sensor, lip plates, everywhere, even licking him some. Finally, those crimson optics onlined, and I fluttered my wings.

"Morning, handsome." I greeted with a smirk.

He didn't say anything, just kissed me on the lip plates for a lingering moment, then relaxed beside me again. I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his, purring my engine. He looked away from me, thinking, then finally propped himself up by an elbow. I watched him, not sure what he wanted to do, but I soon figured it out as he started to get over me. I smiled, letting him gently push me down, then I opened my codpiece. His servos felt over my backplates, wings, and aft, sending electrical currents into my transformation seams. I offlined my optics, letting him have control. I preferred when he did.

He perked his wings, studying my backside, seeing me before him in such a vulnerable position. Something trineleaders never do. But, if I expected him to trust me I had to trust him. And that meant letting him see me at my most vulnerable. His servos grasped and squeezed my aft, feeling it, probably thinking about how evil he's been to the poor thing in the past. Probably not also realizing how cruel and despicable he'll be to it in the future.. Him and Skywarp… And another miserable slagger…

I digress. He paused, thinking, then finally spoke.

"Still want to be hit?"

I perked my wings, looking back at him. "Depends… Hit me where?"

He patted my aft. "If you want to. You seemed… Pretty masochist last night. Not sure if any of that stayed for the morning."

I faintly smirked. "Maybe not a lot of pain… But I'm not opposed to a few swats. Just… Pleasure my valve between hits. Skywarp does that and… I really like it."

Thundercracker rubbed circles on my aft. "I never thought you would actually ask me to hurt you."

My smile broadened as I looked ahead. "I never thought I would start to feel aroused from being hit and talked down to. I honestly am not sure where it came from, but it's been getting worst. Skywarp even hits me with a cable and for some reason I end up wanting more."

"That's him hitting you, not me."

I paused, thinking. I wasn't sure how I would react to my abuser doing what he did to me before, somewhat, and turning it into something positive. The thought of him hurting me still scared me, still made me have panic attacks, but… I wanted to heal from this. And if healing from what he did to me meant turning that awful pain into pain that I enjoy… Then I was willing to do it. My body was changing, so I just was kind of going with the flow of it. I do not recommend this path for everyone. Some may heal from the physical pain by having sexual desires for it, some may never want to be hurt again. Everyone heals differently. And I was beginning to understand my healing. Sometimes I regret why my body chose to heal this way, but other times… Heh…

"I want to try. I want to heal… I want to see you as being good for me in everyway." I looked back at him. "We'll have a safe word. I say it, you stop. But if I don't… Just keep doing what you want. I want to test my limits."

"Don't feel like you have to do this."

"I have to. I'm tired of living in fear. I want to just... Be better from all of this…"

"What's the safe word?"

I thought a moment before speaking. "Steelwing is a nice guy."

He snorted a chuckle. "I really don't want to hear my sire's designation while interfacing. That's awkward."

"Not as awkward as your face."

"That makes no sense."

"So does your face."

"You want me to frag you or not?"

"That's what she said."

He got over me and kissed me on the lip plates as I giggled. "Is this going to be a regular thing with you?"

"Yes!" I fluttered my wings.

"Fine." He then bit me on the nape hard, eliciting a gasp from me.

"Ouch! Primus… Warning next time?" I looked back at him.

"If you get to play, so do I."

I smirked. "You never have played with interface before. You have no idea what you're talking about, big guy."

"I'm going to attempt."

"Going to watch you crash and burn. If I'm not screaming then I'm giving you a bad report on the website."

"What website would that be?"

"Hunky Mechs With Big Spikes dot com."

"Ew…"

"Yeah, your spike is pretty 'ew.'"

"Is this how you get me to want to hit?"

"I'm not sure. I'm just saying things without even thinking. Did you know carriers tend to have a larger dataset for aggression than sires?"

"I believe it…" He grunted.

"I think… I have a larger dataset for being fabulous. Just something about this delicious, curved form of mine and my sassy-OUCH!" I yelp when he finally smacked my aft hard with his servo.

"Too hard?" He asked as he rubbed my aft to sooth it.

I flicked my wings, then slowly hiked them, looking back at him with narrowed, judgmental optics. I then smirked. "Again."

And he gave me another hard smack. I gasped, then purred my engine. He smacked me again, my servos grasping at the berthtop. Another smack, and another. I arched my backstrut, pushing my exposed valve against his codpiece, wanting him in me as my valve tightened. He pushed me down, starting to smack harder and faster. I gasped and hissed, but stayed put for him. It wasn't painful like a punishment, so I wasn't freaking out, but part of me was nervous, remembering what he used to do to me. I still wasn't given a guarantee that he wouldn't do it again.

He gave me quite a few mean smacks on my rear before removing his codpiece, hoisting my hips up, and plunging himself right inside me. I moaned, burying my faceplates into the berth, biting my lower lip plate from the feeling. He pushed all the way in, sitting on his ankles, my aft still exposed. I winced, then started to hiss as he resumed striking my aft with his servos. It was torturous that he wasn't humping yet.

He changed position some after a bit, getting over me, his legs spread out over mine, almost lying on top of me. He bit my nape, tugging it some, then bit my wing, shoulder, and even my backplates. I winced and whimpered, but didn't move. I was nervous again, but fighting it. We were playing. We were having sexy fun. Calm down.

Then, he finally began to thrust into me. I moaned, relaxing finally as I just lied beneath him, resting the side of my helm on the berthtop. He nipped some more, but mostly just concentrated on thrusting into me slow, but very firm. I absolutely loved it, my optics offlining as I just enjoyed him loving on me. It had been far too long since he had made proper love to me.

No words were spoken, just us enjoying the physical love we had to offer. It took us longer than usual, but we didn't care. I moaned softly, he panted softly, and his slow, hard thrusts were driving me insane. I started to flutter my wings and purr my engine, unable to stop.

When we finally did overload it wasn't the most climatic of overloads, but it still felt very nice, and simply pleasant, gentle love. He kissed my nape, hugged me from behind, and held me for a bit before slowly pulling out. I stayed there, watching him get up, cover his plates, and begin his morning routine. I rolled onto my back, covering my own plates, and finally reached a servo down to give my aft a rub.

He cleaned himself with a towel before returning to me to peck a kiss to my lip plates. He just looked at me, faceplates an enigma, then kissed me again, a servo holding my chin. I slowly kissed back, not sure how to read him.

He broke the kiss, silently looked at me for a few astroseconds, then turned and walked out the door. I was confused, but given how so much was changing so fast, I guess he was simply processing things, a bit confused about new emotions, and needing space to clear is helm.

I vented a sigh, managed to get my sore frame out of berth, and took a shower. Upon exiting I was handed a crying Starlight from an exhausted Skywarp.

"Hey, sweetspark." I said quietly, taking my daughter and allowing her to suckle. "There you are. Drink up. Good job."

"So… How it go?" Skywarp perked his wings.

I sheepishly smirked, looking down at Starlight who was watching me while she nursed. "It was amazing. We… I started off spiking him and he didn't like it. He lied about liking it, but..." I shook my helm. "He did not. So… I switched and started to ride him. And then… Things just got out of control. Before I knew it he was on me pounding me into another galaxy, and all I could think of was him, what he was doing to me, and how much I love him. And we were so into it it got weird. I was screaming like a banshee and demanding he hit me, and he was growling and being all aggressive,,, You know how he gets. But like… _Very_ into how he gets. And when we overloaded… Warp, I've never felt something as powerful and incredible as that. And then we talked some, we cuddled, and when we onlined… He wanted more, he played some with my aft, and actually made love to me. He wasn't being lustful, or demanding, or anything. It was very slow, very… possessive, but not aggressive. He bit me a lot but like… Claiming me biting, no dominating biting. And he just… Loved on me, hugged me after we overloaded, kissed me some, and then left me for another femme." I shrugged.

Skywarp giggled. "Another femme? Which one?"

I rolled my optics. "Probably one of these no good daughters of mine. Or Sierra…. I'll cut that glitch for taking my mech."

He giggled again. "I think he's hanging out with Rogue." He paused. "So… Think he's gonna challenge ya soon?"

I vented a sigh. "I don't know. He… He's not making much sense. Like, he fought hard to stay trineleader, and ever since losing… He's been so… Non-aggressive, more friendly, and… I don't know. I don't know what's going on with him. I never thought I would make it this far without him challenging me, let alone submitting fully. I'm not sure what to make of it."

"Think he's plotting?"

I had to think about that. "My processor is telling me 'yes,' but… My spark is telling me 'no.' I don't know why."

"Still think this is the best choice? You really think you can hold this position and do everything for the trine?"

"We're equals. We all take care of the trine, of each other, and the Seekerlets. I just make final decisions after everyone has voiced their concerns." I smirked. "But I have no say in the berthroom."

He giggled. "Kinky, Scree. You've become so sinful." He kissed me.

"I have." I fluttered my wings, then looked down at Starlight as she was getting energon all over her faceplates, doing more biting now than suckling. "I'm going to tell them."

"Hmm?"

"The Seekerlets." I looked at Skywarp. "It's time they know that their sire is no longer in charge."

"Gonna tell the big guy first?"

"He'll find out when they do. Ow… Don't bite so hard." I glared at Starlight, but she only giggled as she kept biting me, then resume suckling.

"When do we let the extended family know?"

"Ugh, sire would… Mmm. We'll wait for now. Cross the bridges as they come along. I don't want to deal with drama until the drama _in_ the trine is resolved. Ow… What are you doing?" I watched Starlight as she kept jerking her helm from side to side, still nursing. It hurt and was rude. "You are acting like your sire…"

"Skyblast did that to me a few times, too. Definitely from TC."

"It's so rude. Better not do it when her denta come in…" I turned back to my trinemate. "I think we should bond as a trine tonight. Thunder and I kind of fixed a lot last night between us, so… Let's fix things between the three of us. And just keep fixing. That's our main objective now. Just heal this trine, grow close, and relearn how to love each other."

"I love you." He fluttered his wings.

I faintly smiled. "I love you, too."

"Think TC will get more lovey with kinky slag?"

"I think he's leaning towards having more… Sexual freedom."

"Heh… Paddle your aft right off."

"Still getting into this. How about… We just do small things as we build up. And as we love each other again, we do more things. I want to try to bond, legit bonding, every night. And if we don't like…. Full on love making at night, then we do so in the morning. But I want those moments. I want us to grow close like that. No more forcing interface, no more if being a chore. No more it being so one sided. Just to love on each other, and if someone doesn't want it, we skip that night. No big deal."

"Sounds good to me. So long as I get into your plating more than twenty times an orn I'll be good."

I rolled my optics. "You are never satiated." I kissed him. "I better get work done. I'll talk to you later, sexy."

He smirked. "Mhmm, I'll be staring at your aft, sexier." He then gave my aft a smack. "Only thing I care about."

I rolled my optics. "Keep treating it like that and you may get more than just my backside before you." I then winked seductively. At least… What I think I looked like when I winked. I may just look stupid…

He giggled. "Oh, I know I'll be getting different angles from you, and more than one hole to play with."

I smirked, giving a playful flick of my wings as I walked away. I was looking forward to bonding with my full trine. I was feeling more and more confident about being a trineleader. I could do this. Yeah… I think I could.

* * *

Later that orbital cycle I was sitting on the couch, Starlight on my lap giggling and playing as little sparklings do. Rogue was watching TV with Skywarp, and the other Seekerlets were in their rooms being adolescents.

"Who's a cutie? Are you carrier's cutie? Yeah? You love carrier?" I smiled at my youngest, holding her so she could bounce up and down on my lap, squealing and giggling. I nuzzled olfactory sensors with her, her tiny servos grasping at faceplates. "Carrier loves you. Yes, he does! I am just going to eat you right up, you're so damn cute!" I gave her rapid-fire kisses on her cheekplates, eliciting squeals of joy from her. She was guffawing, grabbing my face and then viciously trying to eat my olfactory sensor. I tried kissing her cheekplates again, but instead got her trying to eat or kiss me on the lip plates, her glossa getting all over my lip plates as she tried whatever it was she was doing. I was giggling, trying to keep my mouth shut so her glossa wouldn't get inside.

"Eat him, Starlight. That glitch deserves it." Skywarp said harshly as if he meant it. "Leave nothing left of him!"

I fluttered my wings, falling in love a thousand times over each astrosecond I spent with my beautiful, precious youngest. I miss them being so small…

I hugged her close when Thundercracker sat beside me, his arm wrapping around my shoulders and pulling me against him. He kissed me on the cheekplates, but Starlight would have none of it. She smacked him as hard as she could, giving him an angry look.

"Ow, rude." He rubbed where she had struck him. "Don't hit sire. That's mean."

"Aw, did you hit sire? Did sire need to be hit?" I asked her as she chewed on her fist.

"She's taking after you." Thundercracker grunted before kissing me again.

Starlight narrowed her optics as she furrowed her optical ridges. She raised her mighty, tiny fist high into the air before striking it across the cheekplates of the elder, followed by more unholy, revengeful blows.

"Ow, hey, stop." Thundercracker glared at her, his wings hiking. "You don't hit sire."

She would have none of what he had to say. She tried hitting him again, missing, but her fury knew no bounds. She wrapped her arms around my neck, then resumed eating my face.

"She's just violent." I smiled.

"Hmm." Thundercracker leaned over and started to kiss me on the lip plates, only to be assaulted again by those villainous blows. "Stop, I'm allowed to kiss my mate. I'm the one that put you in him…"

She pushed his face away, then tried kissing me on the lip plates, jerking her helm back and forth as she slobbered all over me with her glossa. She started to laugh, then bounce on my lap, so proud of how she saved me from that evil, horrible mech for having the _audacity_ to dare kiss _her_ carrier.

"Why do you keep putting the weird ones in me?" I wiped my lip plates clean of her mouth lubricants.

"I put normal ones in you. The weirdness comes from you." He grunted, reaching over to pick her up.

She didn't react much when he placed her on his lap, kicking her peds some as she chewed on a fist. But, the novelty of another lap quickly wore away and she started to fuss to be returned to her carrier. Thundercracker rolled his optics as he handed her back over. And the little glitch returned to eating my face.

"Silly kissie. Give carrier a silly kissie." I then sucked my cheekplates in some as I protruded out my lip plates. She did the same and we pecked a kiss to our lip plates. "That's my femme. You give the best silly kisses." I kissed her brow.

Thundercracker silently watched me play with our daughter. He seemed sad that his creations never really… connected with him. He wasn't around much for them due to work or when he was in jail, and now he _finally_ was around for one of his newly emerge sparklings, and she already was choosing me over him. And he had lost the connection with his older creations due to being in prison for so long, and the drama… They rarely talked to him or seemed to want much to do with him. And he finally had a chance to have a proper relationship with one of his creations, and she was being a carrier's femmling.

I lowered my wings, then leaned over and kissed him on the lip plates. Starlight started to reach over to stop me, but I held her back and kept kissing him, trying to show her that her sire was welcomed and we loved him.

"She loves you." I said softly to him. "She's just being glitchy because she knows I'm the one producing energon for her. That's all it is."

"Mhmm." He grunted, not entirely convinced.

I studied him for a moment before turning to Skywarp. "Skywarp, get the other creations. I want to address the trine."

"On it, Scree!" He then teleported.

"What about?" Thundercracker inquired, wings perking.

"You'll see, my sexy mate." I kissed him on the lip plates, then lowered my vocalizer. "My _big_ , sexy mate." I gave a tap to his codpiece. "Talking to that guy, not you." I smirked.

He faintly smiled. "You're so weird."

"Fabulous."

"Mhmm." He kissed me.

I perked my wings as the Seekerlets gathered, Skywarp with them. "Hey. Can you all gather around me. I have something I need to talk to you about."

"Are we in trouble?" Storm asked bluntly, sitting on the small table with Dawn and Skyblast.

"No, never, sweetspark." I sat up, making sure Starlight was sitting properly on my lap.

"Are we getting another sibling?" Tempest questioned as she sat on the floor.

"Not at this time, at least."

"Did someone die?" Rogue blurted.

"No, thankfully not." I waited for them all to be seated before starting. "So, something big happened that we haven't told you guys about because I wanted to make sure you were ready, that I was ready, and to make sure it was safe to tell you."

Thundercracker perked his wings, then lowered them, knowing what I was getting at. I looked down for a moment before turning back to the Seekerlets.

"A little over a stellar cycle, very shortly after I was sparked with Starlight, I challenged your sire for leadership. Some stellar cycles ago I did the same with Skywarp and won. I never told you because I didn't see the need. But I have been dominant over Skywarp for quite some time now. And recently, when I challenged your sire, I won. I have been the trineleader for over a stellar cycle now. Your sire no longer is the leader of this trine."

I got a mixture of surprised expressions, confused ones, and a couple looking at me like I was an idiot trying to play some joke on them.

"Wait… What?" Storm gave me a look.

"I am the trineleader. I make the rules now." I explained.

"But, why did you challenge sire?" Tempest asked.

"Because, my love… I wasn't happy. I was so sad with the things sire was doing to me. I… He hurt me a lot and he is having trouble adjusting since leaving prison. Prison is so, _so_ hard on people, and he's hurting from it. He needs time to heal, and trying to lead a trine while he heals from that just is too much. So, I took over to not only let him be able to heal, but also to stop him from hurting me. I know we told you guys in the past that sire hurting me was necessary, but it never was. See," I paused, my servo reaching over to hold Thundercracker's. "Sometimes… adults make mistakes. Awful, terrible mistakes made because we had been told awful, terrible lies. We were told by our creators and by other Seekers that sire had to hit me and Warp to care for us. But it wasn't true. We believed that lie and so many others for so long, and it was hurting us, our relationship, and you guys. I came to realize these lies and had to change it. I… I don't know if your sire knows they are truly lies, but I'm teaching him. Not everyone has an easy time leaving lies behind that they believed to be true for so long. It's really hard to accept that you've lived and believed a lie all your life." I paused. "I love your sire. He's my everything. And… I know this is a lot to take in, but I want to be honest with you guys… I was _very_ close to just grabbing you all and running away to escape your sire. I was in so much pain, I was terrified, and I… I've been suicidal. I hate telling you this, but I was. And you guys should not have to go through losing your carrier, or uncle, to suicide." I swallowed. "I had a choice to make: Grab you guys and run away, or take over and show Thundercracker that we have been living a lie and heal our relationship, heal the trine, and became equals. I chose the latter because I still love him, I know he's good in his spark, and because I didn't want you guys to be having to live with creators who are separated. It's not fair to you, and I think it would have just scared you. So… I am now trineleader, but your sire and I are still equals. We are not fully healed between each other and the past, but we're going to be working on it, we're going to fall in love all over again, and we will be a proper trine. If you have any questions or want to talk, please, please do. Even though all of this is happening between your sire and I, we are still here for you, we will help you guys in _any_ way we can, and if you need reassurance of any kind, talk to us."

"So… Does this mean sire isn't going to ever beat you again?" Skyblast asked.

"Not as a punishment or attack, no. If he ever does hit me for now on it will be playful hitting." Damn, I'm good at avoiding direct answers.

"How did you beat sire?" Tempest inquired.

"I electrocuted him…" I grunted.

"Sire, are you going to challenge carrier for leadership again?" Dawn turned to him.

Thundercracker was silent a moment before speaking. "I'm going to see how this goes. If there's a need for me to lead again, then yes. But, for now, I'm going to see to the trine's needs first."

"And if he does take over again, will you finally leave him?" Zephyr demanded from me.

I gave her a look. "I will do whatever is best for my creations and myself. If I must leave him, then I shall. But, if we can fix this rift between us… I will stay with him until my final spark pulse."

She rolled her optics, and I bit my glossa. Thundercracker looked down, hurt by his daughter's hatred of him. I sensed the tension, so quickly spoke.

"Any other questions, my loves?"

"So, is sire going to stay home forever or get a job?" Tempest asked.

"Sire will be staying home to help take care of you guys. Now with Starlight, I need him to care for her as I go to work. He's healing still from prison, so may not be as active, but he's getting there. And we all are going to help him along. We're a family, he is your sire, and we help and care for each other."

"Absolutely." Skywarp put in.

I looked at the Seekerlets, then glanced at Thundercracker. "I think that's all that needed to be said. You are dismissed. Thank you for complying."

The Seekerlets all got up and left, eager to return to their rooms to live on their computers. I waited until they had left to lean over and kiss Thundercracker on the cheekplates.

"Love you." I said quietly.

"Love you more." He replied softly.

"I think you need cuddles." I snuggled against him.

He faintly smiled. "I'll take some."

I looked at Skywarp, then smirked. "Who wants to frag?"

Skywarp giggled. "I'll take ya up on that, Scree."

I nudged Thundercracker. "Well? You horny, big guy?"

"Maybe..."

"You're always horny. It's settled. Starlight, you are having a nap with your eldest sister. I think this trine needs some slow, gentle, loving interface." I smiled at Thundercracker, who raised an optical ridge at me.

* * *

"OH! Ah!" I loudly moaned as I was slammed against the wall, my legs wrapped around Thundercracker's waist as he started to hump the absolutely slag out of me. Being merciless on my valve.

His faceplates in mine, panting hot air against my face as he pounded into me against the wall. His servos held my hips, holding me onto his waist. My servos grasps his shoulders, optics wide, moaning and crying out from the ferocity of his thrusting, but also feeling amazing.

"Shut up." He growled before kissing me silent.

I fluttered my wings, arms wrapping around his helm. "Ohhhh, hah… I love you." I managed to say.

He grasped my neck and pinned me against the wall, squeezing, cutting off circulation. I smiled, needing this treatment. I never broke optic contact with him, gasping, moaning, servos clutching his shoulders. He smirked, almost a snarl, giving it all. It hurt, but it was good pain. I liked it. I wanted more of it.

Our chestplates soon opened, sparks connecting, and he finally allowed me to hug him close so our chests were against each other. I clung to him, only focused on what he was doing to my body, losing control of my own.

I practically screamed when we overloaded, it feeling so incredible. I fluttered my wings, purring my engine as he lovingly kissed my neck cables.

"You're beautiful." He said softly.

I sheepishly smiled, nuzzling my olfactory sensor against his. "So are you."

He kissed me on the lip plates before pulling out and setting me down. I flicked my wings a couple of time to remove excess energy from them. Skywarp was on me almost instantly, attacking my lip plates with hungry kisses.

"My turn." He broadly smiled, so much lust in his optics.

"I want to do a threesome." I replied. "It's been forever since we've bonded all together at once."

"Me in the middle?" Skywarp perked his wings, expecting things to be how they had been before, but, I was trineleader now. Things were changing.

"I want to be in the middle." I replied. I figured the best way to show we were all equal now was if the trineleader was in the middle rather than controlling the other two. Plus, I loved how they held me, and I simply was not dominant during interface. I talk like the glitch outside the berthroom, but once in it I'm the abused slave of my "masters."

"Middle?" Skywarp cocked his helm slightly.

"Yeah, I don't care who's behind or in front of me."

"I'll take this." Thundercracker said as he hugged me from behind, his still erect spike pressing itself against my aft.

I rolled my optics, reaching up to grab the sides of his helm. "Of course you will, big guy."

He pulled my helm back, straining my backstrut some in order to lean over me and kiss me on the lip plates. I playfully snapped at him, and he gave me a hard smack on the aft. I yelped, reaching back to rub where it had been struck, but he grabbed my wrists and held them as he hugged me.

"You're not allowed to touch your aft. Only me." He said softly, but firmly into my audio receptor before kissing me on the neck. I smirked, pressing my aft against his codpiece.

"Yes, sir."

"DP." Skywarp blurted out.

"Huh?" I perked my wings.

"DP. Double penetration." He repeated.

"Double-Wait, you want to… Both be in me at once?" I raised an optical ridge, not sure I heard right.

"Yeah. Been watching some porn with a lot of it. Looks fun!" He smiled, fluttering his wings.

"Yeah, to the ones doing the penetrating." I grunted, having to slap Thundercracker on the faceplates when he was getting too grabby at my valve.

"Come on, Scree. You may like it. Don't know until you've tried it!" He giggled.

"Warp, I… I don't think I'm big enough for such… endeavors."

"Star, you've pushed out five sparklings. You're big enough."

"What if it hurts?"

"Interface always does."

"You know what I mean."

"Scree, you like pain."

"I don't actually…" I said quietly, pushing back into Thundercracker's chassis.

"Don't push him." Thundercracker spoke. "If he doesn't want it we'll do something else." He gave me a small nip on the neck cables before licking where he had bitten.

I winced at the pain, watching Skywarp. I did want to try knew things, haven gotten bored with the old Thundercracker just does whatever he wants way. I would like to explore some. And I wanted to make my brothers happy. They deserved to be happy. And they needed a trineleader who was willing to explore and make changes. It was staying to the same old ways that just caused things to get worse over stellar cycles. And I wanted to make big changes. And worst case scenario it hurts, I don't like it, I tell them to stop, and we do something else.

Maybe I should try it?

"W-we can try…" I said quietly, then swallowed. "We can try double penetration. Just… Be slow."

Skywarp fluttered his wings as he smiled. "Really?!"

"Yeah, why not. But if I say to stop, you better fragging stop." I pointed a digit at him.

"Yes, sir!" He hugged me, wings fluttering. "You smell nice."

"Uh huh…"

Thundercracker was getting impatient, still with an erection he began to dry hump me hard. I held his wrists, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. Skywarp licked my faceplates, giggling.

I didn't get a chance to say anything, those two were suddenly working my frame, servos feeling me all over, pleasuring me, giving my aft a few hard smacks, biting my neck, kissing me all over, and rubbing my valve hard. I gasped and moaned, allowing them to have at me, reassuring myself that they wouldn't hurt me.

Thundercracker entered me first, and I moaned as I leaned forward. Skywarp let out his hard spike, taking it in a servo and pressing at my valve. I was so nervous, biting my lip plate, wings low. Skywarp was having some difficulty, this being our first time doing this, so he forced a digit in. I whimpered, kicking a little but Thundercracker held me in place. Skywarp was able to pull my valve a little wider and shove his spike into me, going slow. I loudly whined, denta clenched, grasping Skywarp's shoulders. It hurt. Not the worst pain I've felt down there, but it wasn't pleasant.

"Shhhh, shh. We're going to be careful, Scree. Just tell us to stop if it hurts." Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates.

I nodded, hugging him, feeling myself pressed between these two. Thundercracker started to bite my nape, not for dominance, just him being possessive and it being his kink. I winced from that, but let him continue. It did kind of made me feel turned on. Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates, holding me close to him by my shoulders. Thundercracker only tightened his arms around my waist.

"Ready?" Skywarp perked his wings.

I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to prepare anymore. I nodded.

"Okay, Thundercracker, ya ready? On three we start pounding into the sexy slagger!" He giggled.

"Be gentle." I blurted out.

"One… Two… Three!"

"Ah! MMMMNNNRGH!" I growled when they both thrust into me at once, it hurting as I was stretched. My optics wide, I kept gasping and crying out as they continued thrusting into me. I held onto Skywarp tightly, my optics locked on his, feeling some coolant coming to mine, but not breaking down in tears. "Oh, Primus! Ah! Ha! Oh, frag! Ah! Son-of-glitches! AH!"

Skywarp giggled. "You're funny." He kissed me.

They kept going, and I kept screaming, clutching Skywarp, and darting my optics in every direction. It was such a… rude sensation. But as they kept going, as my body was more turned on and my valve loosening… It started to feel nice. Still hurt, but not as much. And certainly wasn't as bad as when I pushed sparklings out.

It took me almost a klik to stop screaming and just loudly moan, whimper, and pant. My trinemates were also panting, holding me so tightly against them, crushing me. Thundercracker bit my nape, then licked it, and Skywarp couldn't stop kissing my lip plates. Skywarp opened his chestplates first, and I did so next. Thundercracker followed, giving me some harder bites, causing my wings to instinctively flare and flick, and engine growl.

Skywarp pressed his chest against mine, our sparks connecting, Thundercracker's spark sending tendrils of energy to get in on the action. I offlined my optics, feeling my brothers in this ultimate intimacy and trust between trinemates. All three sparks intertwined, our bodies connected, vulnerable to attack, but trusting of one another. It was the greatest feeling. I wasn't thinking about the pain anymore, just focused on feeling their very being embracing mine.

I held onto Skywarp, optics offline, loudly crying out from their thrusts and all these sensations. Until finally the three of us all overloaded, our sparks bonding fiercely, painfully, eliciting yelps and cries from us. I jumped as I felt them both filling me with transfluid, feeling like I was about to explode from it.

I panted in Skywarp's faceplates, trembling some, my valve relaxing a little as their spikes started to become flaccid. Skywarp panted, then smiled, kissing me.

"Liked it?" He asked between heavy exhales.

It took me a moment. "I… May have to… give it a few more tries… before making a final decision." I managed to say.

Skywarp fluttered his wings and kissed me. "You're so brave, Scree. Love you."

"Love you more."

He pulled out of me first, followed by Thundercracker. I gasped loudly, then quickly closed my plates, leaning back into Thundercracker's chassis, needing him to support me. He held me for a bit, panting, before picking me up and taking me to the berth. I soon found myself lying on the berth being smothered by my trinemates kissing me, snuggling with me, and hugging me. I loved it.

"Night, Scree. Love you." Skywarp planted one more kiss to my lip plates before settling for the night.

"Love you." I said softly.

Thundercracker kissed us both before pulling us close to him. He didn't say anything. Just offlined his optics, holding us firmly, then shut down for recharge.

I rested my helm against his broad chassis, feeling safe in his arms. Despite everything they had done to me, I still knew he would protect me from any outside threat. He may have hurt me so much, but he wouldn't let anyone one do harm to me.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I found myself onlining to morning interface. Gentle, loving interface with both my trinemates. I was the bottom with both of them, but I didn't mind.

I got myself ready for the orbital cycle, refueled Starlight, kissed my trinemates goodbye, and went to work. The entire orbital cycle I kept thinking about what I would do when I was with Thundercracker again. Should I train him some more? Just interface? Cuddle and do nothing?

I also had to think about my duties as trineleader. Caring for this trine, the finances, everything. But I could do it. And it would get easier once the trine was healed. However long that would take.

When I got home I found a clean apartment, the Seekerlets already picked up from school, and Sierra tired from a long walk. I went to Thundercracker's room, wings perking, then faintly smiling when I saw him not only giving Starlight a bottle to suckle from, but also cleaning out her waste tank. And he was talking to her as he did it.

"Okay, princess, let sire get you clean, now." He said, wiping her tank clean as she held her bottle, more interested in that than her sire. "There you are, little one." He smiled at her as he finished up.

I waited until he was done before making my presence known. "How was she?" I asked softly as I entered.

He looked back at me, wings perking before lowering to neutral. "She was fine. Mostly just recharged."

"That's good." I approached him, then hugged him, wings fluttering. "Missed you."

He hesitated before hugging me back. "Missed you, too."

I stood on the tips of my peds to peck a kiss to his lip plates. "How were the Seekerlets?"

"They were good." He said softly, his servos lowering to hold my waist.

"Good." I rested my helm against his chestplates, optics offlining as I listened to the soft pulses of his spark.

He kissed the top of my helm, his servos feeling the sides of my body before hugging me firmly against his chassis. I savored this moment with him, quiet, loving, just us. Eventually, he did have to let me go when Starlight started to cry. I fluttered my wings when he kissed me once more, then stepped aside. I picked up our youngest, gently bouncing her to calm her down. She quickly did so, and entertained herself by poking at my neck cables, fascinated by them.

"I'll see you tonight, then." Thundercracker said, faintly smiling.

I smirked back, knowing what he meant. "Yeah, see you then. I'm… I got some homework to do. I'll talk to you later, love."

He didn't say anything, so I took my leave. Starlight wrapped her arms around my neck and settled down for a nap. I hugged her close, sighing heavily. Things were improving, but it just wasn't there yet. I hoped we would be a happy, normal trine soon.

* * *

"Wait, what?" Skyfire gave me a dubious look as his helm and shoulders appeared on my computer screen.

"I said, I'm trineleader now. Have been for a stellar cycle." I repeated, sitting at my desk.

"How did this happen?" Gearshift inquired, more grunting it, his face also on the monitor, the two video feeds splitting the screen in half.

"I kicked his aft in combat, obviously. That's what Seekers do." I replied. "He beat me, I was pissed, I hit him and he chased me, then we were fighting in an electric grid, and I electrocuted him until he couldn't fight. Just dominated him and I've been leader since. He's been very well behaved. I've been even able to train him quite a bit."

"Star, abusers don't change. You need to leave that filth before he turns around and starts to beat and rape you." Skyfire snapped, pointing a digit at me.

My optics narrowed. "He's not going to hurt me again. In fact…" I swallowed, but spoke anyway. "I kind of like b-being hit. I-i-in a consensual manner. Wi-within the confines of the-the berthroom."

"What?"

"I-I let my brothers have… fetish fun with me." I blurted out, not entirely comfortable or sure how to explain this. I was so new to BDSM, and at this time quite embarrassed about it. But I was angry with Skyfire for always thinking Thundercracker was this evil force who would always be evil and forceful.

"BDSM?" Gearshift spoke.

"Yes. That." I raised my wings, hoping to regain some Seeker pride.

"Starscream, he's just manipulating you. Ditch that freak." Skyfire said sternly.

"I'm not leaving him, Skyfire. H-he's my trinemate, a-and the sire to my daughters. I'm not leaving him. I-I can't. You don't just leave someone who-who gave you five little femmlings."

"Oh-ho, yes you do! When they're an abusive cog, you most _certainly_ do!"

"He's not abusive, now. H-he's changing." I stuttered, wings lowering, starting to feel hurt.

"He's not changing. He's trying to keep you around so he has something to beat and rape."

"Please, stop talking about him like that." I said quickly, but softly.

"No, Starscream. He's an abuser and _always_ will be! You need to be with someone who actually cares about you."

I glared at him. "Oh, like you?"

"If you would have me, yes. I do care about you, Starscream. More than you'll ever know."

"You just want in my plating." I snapped. "E-ever since I let you in you haven't wanted out o-or been quiet about it. Y- _you_ just see me as something to frag!"

"What? No! I love you, Starscream, but not because of interface!"

"And Thundercracker loves me, not because of interface!"

"With how often he rapes you I sincerely doubt it." Was the sardonic reply.

And I had it. "I'm done." I quickly hung up on Skyfire, the screen now becoming solely of Gearshift.

He was silent, surprised by that altercation, and not sure what to say. He eventually vented a sigh.

"Hey, Scream… Don't cry. Look at me." He said so gently, so much of that platonic love only true best friends could have. The way he always had spoken to me when I was hurt from beatings, from being raped, from being bullied in school.

I wiped coolant from my optics before finally looking at him. "I'm such an idiot." I muttered.

"No, you're not. Friends argue. Listen… I get where Skyfire is coming from. We worry about you, shortstuff. You're our best friend. You're a little brother to me. You know my carrier still refers to you as her third son, right? She's always asking about you. We all love you, and we want you to be happy, to be safe, and to be cared for." He paused. "Thundercracker has really hurt you. He's done terrible things to you. I still hear that phone call you made to me on the night you tried taking your own life. I just think about it, and how terrible you must have felt to be willing to do that. How scared you were, and I wasn't there for you. And…" He swallowed, becoming emotional himself. "It makes me cry just thinking about it."

I didn't want to look at him, my optics darting down, remaining silent. I was still upset at myself for that incident.

"Starscream, I know we can be frustrating, but it's because we care about you. And maybe you're right about Thundercracker. Maybe he is changing and will be the right person for you. Or maybe he won't and will be abusive again. We don't know at this time. So, please, be careful, heed our advice, and take care of yourself and your daughters. My door is _always_ open to you, your daughters, Skywarp, and his sons, if you guys need a safe place away from Thundercracker."

"I don't need to escape him. H-he's fine, now. I promise." I bit my lip plate, not sure if I believed that.

"Promise you'll keep me updated on everything?"

"I promise."

"Need anything from me?"

"I don't know… I'm still kinda-"

"Hey, Star, where do you keep the extra waste pads?" Thundercracker asked as he opened my door and entered my room. "Starlight stinks and I can't find any."

For all my time with Thundercracker, if he ever entered my room when I was talking to Gearshift I would have exited out of the call and pulled up a screen of homework or something. Anything to hide that I had been talking to a grounder. But, for the first time in my life I didn't do that. I didn't hide from Thundercracker what I had truly been doing on my computer. I was trineleader now, and things were going to be different. And that meant him knowing I talked to my best friend, who was a grounder, and nothing was going to make me not be friends with Gearshift.

I was terrified. I was frozen, I felt like I was caught and would be getting a severe aft beating with a cable, followed by a dominating, but I kept telling myself I was trineleader. Things were going to be different. Gearshift's optics were wide, realizing I hadn't hung up or tried making him disappear. And for the first time he was seeing Thundercracker in real time, and quite possibly see me get hurt.

Thundercracker's wings perked when he noticed the screen, and that it was a videocall with a grounder. He flicked his wings, optics narrowing. "What's going on?" He demanded.

I swallowed, but forced myself to sound calm, despite screaming on the inside. "Thunder, this is my friend since primary school, Gearshift. Gearshift, this is Thundercracker. We're just talking."

"Friend? A grounder?" His engine started to growl.

"Yes, friend. Got a problem with it?" I narrowed my optics as I looked up at him, bracing myself for a punch, but also trying to hide how scared I was.

Thundercracker glared murderously at Gearshift, his wings giving a hard flick, optics glowing brightly, and engine grumbling bitterly. Then, with a flare of wings, he suddenly grasped my chin and kissed me on the lip plates. I snapped at him, snarling as my own wings flared and flicked, but he yanked me out of my chair, turned me around so my back faced him, wrapped his arms around my waist, then began to dry hump my aft hard. I rolled my optics, flicking my wings as I grabbed at his arms.

"He's just a _friend_! Argh!" I kicked at him and stomped my thruster heel on his ped repeatedly. "Ouch! You're hurting me, you aft! He's a _friend_! _Platonic_ friend! There's no sexual relationship! ARGH!" I growled and snapped when he started to bite my nape.

Gearshift was horrified, traumatized, and concerned all at once, not sure what the hell was going on.

I kept struggling, trying to escape, but Thundercracker just is far stronger than I. He kept dry humping me hard, and I heard his codpiece fold away, obviously being turned on from holding me. And humping me. And just touching me.

Why was he suddenly being such a brute with me? He was being possessive and selfish, is why. Seekers show who belongs to whom by interface, bonding in public, and sometimes just a good, hard dry humping. And biting especially showed possession. He was reminding me I belonged to him, and showing to anyone watching that I was his, and no one else could have me.

"Okay, seriously, _stop it_!" I shouted, still trying to be free. "He's a friend! I'm not going to do anything with him!"

"Skyfire is also your 'friend,' but you did things with him." He growled before giving me an especially nasty bite that caused me to yelp.

His words hurt. I swallowed, settling down and letting him claim me. He was right. Skyfire was my friend and I had cheated with him. A lot. It made sense for him to be cautious. I couldn't be trusted anymore with so called "friends." And even now I couldn't be trusted with so called "employers," or "leaders." I just have not been worthy of my trinemates' trust over the vorns…

He roughly got my codpiece open, and I let him. Technically, I wasn't in the mood for interface, but I'm not going to say he raped me here. He was claiming me, he was worried and scared that I would cheat again, and I still think he had every right to do what he did. And looking back I wish he did it more to me because maybe it would have made me actually be faithful to my trine.

He was inside of me instantly, and thrusting hard. I didn't struggle, didn't fight. I let it all happen, leaning back into him and forcing myself to relax so he knew I wanted him. He kept biting my nape, shoulders, and even wings, but I kept my mouth shut and just winced from the pain.

"What the frag?" Gearshift's vocalizer sounded over the banging of Thundercracker's body against mine.

I turned to the screen, seeing my friend covering his optics somewhat, not wanting to watch, but still was. "He's claiming me. Ow…" I explained. "Because he thinks I'm going to leave him for you. Which is preposterous. I would never, ohhh…. I would never frag you. That's disgusting."

"It is. It's incest at this point." Gearshift replied. "Which makes this even more awkward."

I smirked, panting softly. "Yeah, definitely incest. Hear that, Thunder? Gearshift and I are biologically related. It's incest if we were to hookup."

"Shut up." Thundercracker grasped my neck firmly before forcing a kiss to my lip plates.

I fluttered my wings. "You shut up."

"Star, um…" Gearshift scratched at his nape uncomfortably. "D-do you need me or… Should I go?"

I smirked, always enjoying making him feel so awkward. "Nah, I'm good. I'll talk to you later, Gears. Love you!"

"Yeah, ahem… Love you, more. Platonically!"

I snickered. "All the platonic love."

"Bye, Screams." He said before hanging up.

I waited until the screen went dark before twisting myself free, getting that brute out of my body, and slapping him across the faceplates. Hard. He flicked his wings as he stepped back, exhaling loudly from his vents, that primary member of his still pointing to the ceiling.

"Absolutely unnecessary." I growled, wings flicking, then flaring. "Gearshift is my friend, not my secret lover. A few dry humps would have suffice."

"If I trusted you, yes, they would have." He grunted, his face an enigma, optics glaring hard, body unmoving like a mountain.

It was my turn to loudly snort an exhale from my vents. "I made a mistake. One I do not intend to ever make again. My body belongs to my trine. For now and always." I said firmly, unaware of how I would break that promise so many times in the future.

"It does. But that doesn't make me feel easy."

I glared at him, angry and frustrated, but silent. He had every right to also be angry and frustrated with me. I looked down at that… Very scrumptious, large, hard spike of his. All shiny and wet from my lubricants as it reached up to the ceiling, demanding attention. And I felt my valve tingling and clasping, demanding for that fat, long thing in it. I looked back up at Thundercracker, flicked my wings, and growled my engine. Our optics were still narrowed, still mad at each other. But, I couldn't resist.

I turned around and leaned over slightly. He was on me instantly, and back inside of me. I gasped as he resumed his furious humping, almost bouncing on his thruster heels from how hard he was going. He continued biting me, growling his engine, and flicking his wings from the stimulation. I grasped the back of my chair for some balance, feeling like I was about to be torn in half from how tight his arms were wrapped around my waist. I glared ahead, denta gritted, now whimpering from the pain of his savage thrusts.

"Are you two slagging serious?" Skywarp demanded as he entered my room, us both looking at him. "You get all horny and start fragging when Starlight is in the other room smearing her waste all over the wall because her dumbaft sire seemed to have forgotten she needed her waste tank cleaned out." He grumbled, opening a drawer from my storage unit and pulling out the waste cleaning pads. "And they say I'm the one with the interface problem." He mumbled loud enough for us to hear. "Well, I'll be the responsible _adult_ and take care of _your_ sparkling. Not my spawn but I'm cleaning her mess." He started for the door. "Complete, slagging losers… I'll call Sparkling Protection Services on your negligent afts… Make me have to clean up…" He kept grousing as he walked away.

Thundercracker paused in his thrusting, wings perking as he watched Skywarp go. He rolled his optics. "I'll take him next." He said before resuming his thrusting.

I grinned, happy to see even after that sass from Skywarp Thundercracker wasn't being aggressive or grabbing him to give him an aft beating. He actually was being… Playful. And just wanting to bond with us.

He was making progress. He wasn't a monster. I would show the world who my trinemate truly was. I was trineleader, they were mine, and we would be the greatest trine ever.

* * *

And things did continue to improve. Thundercracker was completely in charge of his duties as a stay-at-home creator. He bottle-fueled Starlight throughout the orbital cycle while I was at work or school, he cleaned the entire apartment regularly, always picked up and dropped off the Seekerlets at school, took care of Sierra, and even helped his creations with homework. He continued to improve, to be a better sire, and his creations started to connect to him. Starlight began to ask for him more than me. I wasn't jealous. He deserved to have at least one of his creations enthralled by him.

He would also play wrestle with his younger creations, and took full responsibility in training them to be deadly warriors, how to use swords, knives, guns, and hacking skills. I didn't have as much time to devote to my daughters' training, but Thundercracker had it covered.

Thundercracker was usually tired by the time I got home, but he always had energy to make love to me and Skywarp that night, and most mornings. I would come home, find him either resting on the couch or tossing Starlight in the air, listening to her squealing in delight. A snap of my digits would call my trinemates to my side, and then I would take them for training.

I trained them hard. Not just in servo commands, but we would have mock aerial combat, perfecting our combat as a trine, flying in perfect unity, and them obeying me precisely. I had them so damn well trained. They just kept improving, wanting to please me, all because I rewarded them. No punishments, no yelling, no harm. Just love, telling them how proud I was, and letting them frag me. If they did absolutely awful there would be no interface from me that night. And after that happened once they stepped up their game a thousand fold.

Now, it was only ever perfection, and they were excited to train, to please me, to get their reward after obeying me explicitly for three joors straight, the usual amount of time I trained them for. And I always pushed them. I didn't want just obedient trinemates, I wanted the _best_ trinemates in everything. I _needed_ to show them off to other Seekers, to prove how you can have a fierce, obedient trine without ever raising a servo to them.

So, I watched videos of fights involving flyers, or just even grounders. I learned how certain combat and maneuvers were done, and I trained my trinemates and myself to be able to do the same. I researched great Seeker warriors and what their trines could do, how fierce they were, all their combat maneuvers and abilities. And I trained my trinemates to do the same, but better. Always better.

We were constantly practice fighting servo-to-servo, in the air, with weapons, a combination, everything. And I started to train my Seekerlets the same. I wanted them to be able to defend and fight against anything.

I even signed up for classes with one of Iacon's greatest sword masters. And I trained with him and learned. And then I taught my trinemates and the Seekerlets. It was constant training, teaching, and growing together as a trine.

And as we worked on that, we also grew in our love, our trust, and bonding. And I felt like… I finally had my trine. Nothing bad would ever happen again.

I transformed, hovering on my thruster heels as my trinemates flew past me. I watched them, only their contrails staying behind as they sped forward. They transformed, spun around, transformed again, and returned to me. They transformed and hovered before me, awaiting my next command.

We had been training for a few joors now, and they had done well. They had been doing so well for the past few decacycles. I was immensely proud of them.

I smiled, wings fluttering. "I think that's enough, my loves. You both did awesome." I paused then slowly turned around and opened my codpiece. "Have at me."

And they did. They practically tackled me out of the sky, suddenly upon me, grasping at me, pulling me close, their lip plates all over mine, denta biting my neck, shoulders, wings, and Skywarp even biting my faceplates like the aft he is. I gasped when Thundercracker got inside of me first, then Skywarp squeezed in. I was completely crushed between them, Skywarp in front and Thundercracker behind. I clung to Skywarp as they began to thrust brutally into me, clawing at me as they clutched onto me, biting, wings flicking, their passion and lust only growing.

"Ohhh, oh, Primus! Oh… Hah… Mmmm! Nrrgh!" I grit my denta, holding onto Skywarp with everything I had in me.

Skywarp giggled. "Enjoy it, Scree. We're taking you again once we get home."

"All night." Thundercracker grinned.

"Slag…" I grunted.

And they did.

I found myself being thrown onto Thundercracker's berth once we got home, the big, blue guy getting on top of me instantly. He bit down on my neck cables, grasping my wrists and pinning them to the berth above my helm. I writhed beneath him as he started to thrust into me, not giving me a single moment to relax. My lip plates were soon ravaged by Thundercracker's, my pitiful moans lost inside of his hungry mouth. I offlined my optics, taking in everything that was him. Well, I certainly did take something in…

We had been doing this love-making, this rekindling the trine for almost a stellar cycle now. Starlight was starting to walk, and the other Seekerlets just kept growing up, and becoming more independent, and I hated it because I wanted them to stay little and cute. Now… They're just big and want to be left alone all the time…

But, I had my trinemates to give me non-stop attention. And Primus, did they. And what's interesting… Thundercracker and everyone ever always had told me that… That sparklings were what made two people closer together. That sparklings made you a better person. And in my own experience… That is complete slag. They do not. I love my creations, I think I've made that incredibly clear, but they didn't make me a good person, nor did they heal my relationship with Thundercracker. What actually healed my relationship with Thundercracker was just being with him. Talking to him about anything, even stupid, pointless things. And making love to him. Always being with him. Letting him touch me and be in a vulnerable position so I learned to trust him, and him me. And I let him put me in a _lot_ of vulnerable positions. Him and Skywarp. And I know some people would say I'm "weak" for letting myself be tied to a berth, or manacled, or by the glitch in the berthroom. But, it takes immense strength, bravery, and trust to let someone be in complete control of my body, and I unable to fight back.

I am tied, I am helpless, and they are in me, hitting me, and doing as they please. No coward would be in my position. No weakling would let chains on them, a gag in their mouth, blindfolded, and left helpless as someone has free reign over their body. No, I am strong because I am the submissive in the berthroom. I am brave, I am tough, I trust my brothers, and I fragging love it.

Again, I do not recommend others to use BDSM to heal from their abusive pasts, their pain, or whatever it is that hurts them. My body wanted this, so I went with it. And I'm proud of myself for going on my instincts and becoming a stronger person. Well, sometimes I'm mad at myself for having BDSM be the answer, but… It helped. It made me and my trinemates so much closer, to love again, and to trust. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I still suffered from my panic attacks, I was still scared of Thundercracker much of the time, but these were things that time, trust, and love would eventually heal me from. It absolutely sucked. I wanted to just love Thundercracker, trust him fully, and be healed already. But, I wasn't. I was still so depressed, anxious, and traumatized. And arguing with my friends over Thundercracker wasn't helping things either. I just had to prove that they were wrong about my mate.

Thundercracker growled as he overloaded, filling me with his fluids. I gasped, writhing beneath him. He panted over me for a bit before kissing me once more on the lip plates. I fluttered my wings, silently watching him. Our optics locked, only the sound of our pants and cooling fans whirling.

He pressed his brow against mine, offlining his optics as he did so. I slipped my wrists free from his now loose hold, and cupped his faceplates. I faintly smiled up at him, knowing he wanted to say or do something, but he just always held back ever since I had become trineleader. Why wouldn't he just talk to me?

He finally kissed me then pulled out and got off the berth. I didn't have time to recover before Skywarp pounced on me and got inside of me. My frame was ravaged instantly by that tentacle monster of a trinemate I have. While I was moaning, writhing, and grasping onto Skywarp's hips, I looked over at Thundercracker.

He was quietly cleaning himself from our bonding with a towel, not paying attention to what was happening on the berth. Skywarp stupidly hung his glossa out as he humped me, making that… Creepy, possessed, rape face of his… Thundercracker tossed aside the towel, checked the time, then left the room without a word. Skywarp didn't notice, biting my neck cables with more fervor. I lowered my wings from Thundercracker leaving, watching that now closed door.

"Why did he leave?" I blurted out.

"Hmm?" Skywarp didn't even slow down.

"Thunder left."

"Hmm." Skywarp shrugged. "Maybe he's tired?"

"This is his room…"

"He still needs time."

"Ouch… But it's been so long…"

"I don't know what to tell ya, Scree. I'm not a mind reader. I just know how to love ya." He smiled as his wings fluttered.

I faintly smiled back. "Yeah, you certainly do."

He didn't let me talk or even think for the rest of the bonding.

* * *

"There's a solar eclipse tomorrow." Tempest informed me as we sat at the table getting our evening refuel.

"Oh? We should perch on the roof to watch it." I said as I helped Starlight clean her faceplates after getting messy with energon.

"I'll be at work." Zephyr apprised. "I can see it from there."

"Your work always gets in the way." Rogue piped up.

"I need to make Shanix."

"Responsibility takes precedence over fun, I'm afraid." I replied. "I mean, you guys are the perfect example of that. I was responsible with caring for all of you when what I really wanted was to go get intoxicated, hang out with exotic dancers, and eat cake until I puked."

Skywarp snorted a snicker, and Thundercracker just gave me a disproving glare. The older Seekerlets got it and laughed.

"What's an exotic dancer?" Starlight inquired.

I just smiled at her. "Just someone who dances with colorful lights." I pecked a kiss to her lip plates.

"Silly kissy!" She demanded.

"Fine, silly kissy." I made a face while she made one herself as we pecked a kiss to the lip plates.

"So, any plans?" Skywarp asked of the eldest creations.

"I am conquering the planet tomorrow and instigating martial law." Storm nonchalantly replied.

Skywarp giggled. "Am I helping rule?"

"No, you and sire are going to be locked away in the dungeon. Uncle Star is the court jester."

"Why am I the court jester?" I raised an optical ridge at him. "Skywarp would be a better court jester. I would be the court drinker."

"Court exotic dancer." Skywarp snickered.

I smirked. "I could do that to."

"I think grounder femmes would be better court dancers." Storm smiled.

"Why grounders?" I inquired, wings perking.

"Well, you know…" Storm gave a wave of his servo to gesture the answer. "Grounder femmes don't have bulky wings, and smaller peds, and… Just are really hot."

"Are fliers not 'hot' to you?" Thundercracker asked, not aggressively, but more confused.

"No, they are. It's more…" Storm paused to choose his words. "More exotic. More… Different but beautiful."

"How so?" Thundercracker perked his wings.

"Because… We're Seekers. We're always told to just trine Seekers, only breed with Seekers, Seekers and Seekers only. And it's… Kind of boring. What if I don't want to only be mated to Seekers? Like… I like grounders. Especially grounder femmes. They're… Really beautiful, and smart, and amazing…"

"How would you know if they're 'amazing?'" Thundercracker asked a little firmer.

"I hang out with them all the time. Went to school with them, work with them, am friends with them. Don't give me that look, sire." Storm flicked his wings.

"I'm not giving you any look."

"Yes, you are. You're being judgmental."

"I am not."

"You are." Zephyr grunted.

Thundercracker spared her a sideways glare before turning back to his eldest son. "Are you saying you don't want to trine or breed with Seekers?"

"No, I'll trine. I want a trine. But, like… I also want a relationship with a grounder femme." Storm explained.

I was scared at this point. Thundercracker was traditional, and they did _not_ like the idea of Seekers breeding or having any sexual relationship with a non-Seeker. And I was shocked that torm actually said this to his sire. But, I would be in more of a shock soon.

Thundercracker narrowed his optics. "You are a Seeker. You do not interact with grounders, especially not with interface."

"What's interface?" Starlight asked.

"I'll explain later." I quickly shushed her, pulling her onto my lap and hugging her close.

Storm rolled his optics. "Sire, get with the times. Everyone is in a relationship with each other regardless of how we look."

"No, only rebellious adolescents engage in such disgusting and improper acts. You're my son, not a Syk-addicted vagabond with no sire-figure in your life." Thundercracker said firmly, wings flaring.

"Of course not. I have never done drugs, I have a job, and Starscream has always been my sire-figure throughout my life." He snapped with narrowed optics.

"Sweetie, you don't mean that." Skywarp said quickly, his maternal programming taking full swing as Thundercracker's frame suddenly became increasingly aggressive.

Thundercracker flicked his wings, engine growling, and narrowed optics glowing. Starlight sensed something was wrong so clung to me, and my other two youngest quickly got behind me, seeking the protection of their carrier. The eldest three remained in their seats, wings flared, feeding off their sire's body language. Skyblast curled into Skywarp's arms, knowing his carrier would keep him safe.

At the time, I was only focused on what was happening between Thundercracker and his eldest son, but thinking back on it… What awful creators were we to put our creations through slag like this. That they felt the need to cower to their carriers for protection from their own sire. No sparkling should ever feel the need to hide from their creator or live in fear. It hurts thinking about my precious, little daughters being so scared of the one who helped bring them into this world. And in the Seeker culture, it wasn't a big deal for Seekerlets to be scared of the sire, because the trineleader was just always aggressive and intimidating and… abusive.

Thundercracker finally spoke after what felt like an eternity. "You don't think I'm a good enough sire?"

"Of course not." Storm said matter-of-factly. "You beat my carrier over everything. You beat my uncle over even more, and made him attempt suicide. And you get thrown in jail for being an abusive aft. I used to believe that it was all 'necessary,' but I have finally realized it's not."

"Because your uncle told you this?"

"Because my femme-friend told me and explained everything of why traditionalism is fragged up."

Thundercracker's wings perked briefly before flaring. "I'm sorry… Femme-friend?" He raised an optical ridge, leaning forward slightly as if to hear better.

My spark was racing. Skywarp's optics were so wide they looked like they were about to break.

"You heard me. I have a femme-friend." Storm stated sternly, wings giving a hard flick.

Thundercracker didn't speak immediately. "And what does she look like?"

"Damn right gorgeous. She's stunning, smart, incredible-"

"I asked what she _looks_ like, not your opinion of her." Thundercracker snapped with a snarl.

Storm snorted angrily at his sire. "She's a grounder. She has wheels."

"And how long have you two been… in a relationship?"

"Since we were 15 stellar cycles, but we got serious a stellar cycle ago."

"Serious meaning?"

Storm smirked, looking so much like Skywarp when he was about to do something horrible to my body. "Meaning when we took our relationship to the next step." He paused. "Hot, wet, steaming interface."

Thundercracker leaped to his peds as he suddenly flipped the table over. All the Seekerlets and us carriers jumped back, scared of what was happening. Starlight started to cry, and I held her crushingly to my frame. Thundercracker stomped over to his eldest son, who was defiantly standing, wings flared, and servos balled into fists at his sides.

"You bring dishonor to yourself!" Thundercracker roared. "Fragging a filthy grounder, and you are not even of age! You're still part of _my_ _trine_!"

"It's no longer _'your'_ trine." Storm growled.

I then remembered that this was different from times in the past. I was trineleader now. I could stop this.

I handed Starlight to Tempest before marching over, flaring my own wings. I was fighting back all the fear, the trembling, the absolute… terror that gripped me, feeling as if I was going to be flogged and raped for even being near Thundercracker. I was trineleader. He wouldn't hurt me. But, in his raw fury he was not thinking straight. And despite all the training I had put him through for the past nearly two stellar cycles, it would all be forgotten in this brief moment.

"Thundercracker, stand down!" I shouted.

He swung around and his fist met my face. I found myself on the floor, energon oozing out of my olfactory sensor and filling my mouth. I was stunned, not remembering how I ended up down on the ground. My optics were having trouble focusing, and I heard screams, angry shouting, and a crying sparkling.

He hit me so hard… I had no idea what was happening. I found myself looking up into the horrified faceplates of Skywarp, him saying something to me. Then… Something else happened, I know it did… But everything went black.

I onlined with a start, jumping some. I anxiously glanced around, feeling like I was still in danger, but not remembering what that danger was. Then, I saw him, and it all came back. He was sitting there, on my chair, watching me, his wings neutral. I felt fear, I felt like I had screwed up as usual and was about to get a stern lecture before having to roll over and hold still as he beat my aft into the next vorn.

But that didn't happen.

He silently watched me, no anger in his optics. And I was confused. Then I remembered that I was trineleader. I was in charge. But… He beat me with a single right-hook, and trineleaders aren't suppose to be defeated so easily… He's going to dominate me. He's taking the trine back over!

I swallowed, more scared now than ever, but… Still nothing.

Then, he finally stood up and leaned over me. I flinched as he neared, expecting some form of pain, but instead he spoke.

"How do you feel?"

It was not angry, not firm, but rather… Concerned. I looked up at him, swallowing before I spoke, surprised by how quiet my vocalizer was.

"I-I'm fine." I managed to say.

He lifted my chin, I flinched, optics offlining as I prepared for a punch or something. Nothing happened, so I onlined my optics again, looking into his.

"You were out for a while." He said softly.

"You punched me." I grunted.

"A reaction."

"Some reaction." I shoved his servo away from me before sitting up, wings perking. "What are you going to do?"

"Hmm?" He cocked his helm slightly, puzzled.

"You took me out with one punch. Aren't you going to dominate me? Beat me? Tell me I slagging fail at a trineleader?" I snapped, hugging my knees, feeling like such a failure.

He was silent a moment before speaking. "I wouldn't say that it was a fair fight. You weren't expecting it."

"I was expecting something." I grumbled, looking away.

"I'm not going to do anything."

I turned to him, confused. "Why not? Why not take back the trine? Why not challenge me?"

"Because," He sat on the berth beside me, not looking at me. "You haven't screwed up, yet. I'm still curious to see where you go with it."

"Oh, like that's the reason."

"One of them." He shrugged, looking down at his servos.

I flicked my wings, annoyed how he just wouldn't tell me everything. "Where's Storm?"

"With his carrier."

"What did you do to him?"

He looked at me. "You say that as if I would harm my own sparkling."

"You were pissed enough to flip over a table and one-punch me into the next orbital cycle."

"You haven't been out that long… And I am pissed at him. I have every right to be pissed at him for fragging a grounder."

"Why are you here then and not screaming at him?"

"Because Skywarp's carrier programming made him scary and I had to flee before he tore off my limbs." He muttered. "And I needed to see to you."

"Where are my daughters?"

" _Our_ daughters are fine. Zephyr is taking care of Starlight. All the creations are fine. Skywarp is talking with Storm and handling that for now."

"What are you going to do to Storm?"

He didn't answer immediately. "Talk to him. Figure out what's going on. You're trineleader so I can't kick him out."

"Would you if you were still trineleader?"

Thundercracker stayed silent for a while. "Of how angry I am with him… He's my son. I couldn't do that. I still see my little sparkling crawling around on all fours… I still see all of them like that."

I faintly smiled. "Yeah… I still see them like that, too. I sometimes feel like I'm still carrying them. Phantom kicks. I get those a lot." I placed a servo over my abdominal plates. "Sometimes I want them back in so I know they are with me and safe."

He didn't say anything, looking down as his digits fiddled with each other. I scooted over to him until I sat beside him. I hugged him, resting my still sore cheekplates against his upper arm. I watched his ebony servos in silence, thinking about what to say to him.

"I'm still scared of you." I finally said barely louder than a whisper. "I feel like you're going to rape and beat me at any provocation. Any moment I just look at you wrong." I swallowed. "I don't want to be scared of you. I hate this."

He vented a sigh. "I don't want you to be scared of me, either."

I looked up at him, but he didn't look at me. "I wish these thoughts would go away… I want to be a real trine… Be healed.. Love each other unconditionally…"

"I do, too." He paused. "I didn't want to hit you. I just… I just react. It feels so normal. Like I have to."

"We're both messed up… We can fight this."

"You're far worse than I am. I just… I hurt you guys and now you want to even kill yourself, you're terrified of me, you're constantly flinching from me, and you're-" He swallowed. "You're so scared of me. Your optics are just of fear. Even when we bond I see it. You're scared, you tremble, you cower. And you do it because of me." His vocalizer started to fill with static. "I made you like this. I made you attempt suicide. That's all I think about. When I carried you to the hospital and you weren't there. Holding your servo praying and begging, and just hoping you would come back. Even if you were crippled or.. I just needed you back." Coolant was starting to fill his optics now. "And I was scared. I thought that you were going to be gone, and it was all my fault. I had done that to you. I-I broke you and-"

I cupped his faceplates with a servo and made him look at me. "It was a terrible time. I still think about it constantly as well. But, of how low we were then… We have a chance to redeem, to heal, and save our relationship, now. And I want to. I don't want to be with anyone else. I promised myself to you and Skywarp, and only you two. I know I cheated, I hate myself for it. It was such an awful time and I was desperate for some form of love… But we're past that. We will love each other properly. We will get these sparklings all grown up and out of our home so they can get us some grandcreations, and we will be happy together."

"I hate what I did to you. I mean…" He swallowed. "I still feel like punishment was necessary a lot, just… Not as severe."

"No, I get it. I don't think any of the beatings was justified, but I know it will take you time to change and heal. And I've already accepted that. You're too stubborn to change overnight."

"You're even more stubborn." He grunted.

I smirked. "I am. That's why we connect so well. All the stubbornness." I kissed him on the lip plates. "How do I look?"

"Terrible. Your optic is cracked some."

"I noticed. Kind of hurts to move my jaw pistons. Kiss it to make it better?"

He gently kissed me on the cheekplates where he had punched me. Then, he pecked a kiss to my lip plates. "Better?"

I smiled. "Much." I then got onto his lap to hug him. "We're going to heal from this. You'll see. I promise we'll be a proper trine in time."

"Hmm." He made a face.

I grabbed his faceplates and made him look at me. "Don't be a pessimist. We will be." I kissed him. "We probably should go talk to Storm and get that figured out. Then get the Seekerlets some cake or something to makeup for scaring them… And tell them we worked it out."

"Is it bad that I don't want them to see me?"

"No, because it means you are ashamed of what you did. And that's good. You realize you did wrong and will do better. All part of the learning experience."

"Can we skip it and get to the good part?" He asked as he stood, picking me up bridal style.

"And that good part being?"

"Whenever I frag you next." He smirked at me.

I fluttered my wings, giving him a lustful grin. "Tonight. Every night. All the slagging time." I kissed him on the lip plates.

"I look forward to it." He said as he carried me out of my room and started to head towards Storm's room.

I palmed open the door for him and he entered. Our wings perked, seeing Storm sitting on his berth and Skywarp on a chair facing his eldest. They both turned to us, their own wings hiking up.

"Well?" Thundercracker asked as he set me down on the berth beside my nephew.

"You can relax." Skywarp spoke. "He didn't stick it in her. He said it like he did to piss you off. They roleplay over the computer and self service."

"I'll get in her once I move in with her." Storm added.

"Move in with her? You don't plan on having your own place?" Thundercracker demanded.

"No, we're moving in together. Our own place. We're taking things slow. I'm not stupid, sire."

"I never said you were."

"This young femme is going into medical." Skywarp explained. "She's going to be a pediatrician."

"That's a noble career." I replied, sitting next to Storm, staying between him and his sire.

Storm smiled. "Yeah, and she's already talking about the sparklings we'll have together."

"You're not breeding with a grounder." Thundercracker snapped.

Storm rolled his optics. I bit my lip plate, thinking this over before speaking.

"I think… We should be open about this. Nah-uh, let me speak, Thunder. We should be open minded. Many Seekers do mate with non-Seekers, or even with Seekers not part of their original trine. Regardless of what tradition says, the most important thing is if Storm is happy, safe, and lives a good life. His femme-friend sounds responsible if she's going into such a career, and she clearly isn't using him just for his body if they haven't touched intimately, just acted it out with each other. I think… We should invite this young femme over, and meet her, find out their plans together, and be supportive."

"She's a grounder." Thundercracker snarled, his arms crossed.

"You know, you're not one to talk about perfect mates or whatever." I turned to him. "You trined and bred with Skywarp. He's a bastard. What did you're sire tell you when he found that out?"

Thundercracker glared at the wall, not even looking at me. "I'm not repeating that in front of my son."

"See? And you trined Skywarp anyway and love him, and had two beautiful sons with him. You ignored your sire because you knew he was wrong about Skywarp and the need to follow traditionalism in that regard. And this is the same thing. Storm clearly sees something in this femme and she in him. I want to give them a chance." I turned to Skywarp. "What about you? You're the carrier."

Skywarp glanced at Thundercracker before turning to me. "I'm willing to give them a chance. I mean, my creators love each other beyond all reason and they're hated by everyone for it. I'm not going to tell my sparkling 'no' when he loves someone who sounds harmless."

"Then, it's settled." I turned to Storm. "Call your femme-friend and invite her for an evening. I look forward to meeting her." I smiled at him.

Storm smiled back. "Thanks, Uncle Star."

"Now since that is settled." I stood up. "I think I need to… reconnect with my trinemates." I winked at Thundercracker as I passed him.

He rolled his optics before following me, Skywarp behind him. "Just like that?" He grunted once we were out of Storm's room.

"Hmm?" I looked up at him.

"You just dropped everything and let him off the hook just like that?"

"There's no reason to be mad at him. He's being careful. It's his body and life. So long as he's careful and responsible who are we to deny him happiness?"

"It's not right."

"Why?" I stopped and faced him. "Why isn't it right? Because he could be getting hurt or is hurting someone? Or because someone told you that Seekers should only trine Seekers, not have a relationship with anyone else, and those who don't look like us are beneath us?"

"Grounders don't like Seekers."

"Clearly, this grounder isn't like those hateful bigots." I paused. "Gearshift isn't like them. Try talking to a grounder. A grounder who knows better."

"I don't trust a grounder with my son."

"I don't trust anyone with my daughters, but I trust my daughters." I paused. "You need to trust your son." I then turned and continued to my room.

"He's right, ya know." Skywarp nodded sagely as he followed me.

Thundercracker stood there, thinking. He rolled his optics as he vented a sigh, then followed. "If anything happens to him I'm blaming you."

I smirked. "I'm sure you will. Now," I entered my room. "Something better be happening to me real soon or else we're going to have a problem."

Skywarp giggled. "I love how Scree solves all drama in the trine with fragging him."

"Bonding is what's going to keep us together and trusting. So, let's bond."

"I'm down for that." Skywarp grabbed me, kissing me on the lip plates.

Thundercracker looked back through the still open door, obviously wanting to go and say something still to Storm. I closed the door before grabbing him and forcing him onto the berth with us. He finally got his attention onto us and we were able to bond.

A few orbital cycles later we did meet Storm's femme-friend. And she was very sweet, respectful, and intelligent. She certainly made an impression on all of us. And it didn't take Thundercracker long to actually like her. And we started to see a lot more of her.

A lot was changing in our lives. And it was positive change. Things were going well.

* * *

 **Well, this was more of filling in things... Next chapter will have more dramatic changes.**

 **Sorry about taking so long with this. For those who didn't see the update "chapter" I recently adopted a puppy! Her name is Zephyr (Zeh-fear), her mom is a German shepherd but no idea what dad is, and she's growing so fast! I have had her for almost 3 weeks now and she's more than doubled her size! I suspect her dad is a Rottweiler because she looks like a lot of rottie/German Shepherd mix puppies. But then again she also looks like Husky/German Shepherd puppies... Depending on what dad is will depend on how big she'll get. She'll probably be as big as Maggie was. The rescue estimates about 60 pounds, but if she has rottie she'll probably be closer to 100lbs.**

 **If you haven't done so already, look up my deviantART (Ga-Maleven on devientART) and find the journal titled "Meet Zephyr." I have pictures of her there and explain more about getting her and everything. And then go read my Educational Journals about animal and human rights!**

 **Also, why the fuck has no one ever drawn fanart for any of my fics?! I have been writing fanfics for 3 years now and no one has drawn anything. :( I see fanart for some... Really poorly written fanfics, but I have yet to get any! :'(I'mma cry now!  
**

 **And don't know if you noticed, but throughout the fic Skywarp and Starscream never called Thundercracker "TC" or other nicknames to his face other than "Thunder." Reason for this is because they were scared of him and could only show respect to him. But, now since he's no longer trineleader and is being nicer they are starting to call him more nicknames directly.**

 **The comment about aggression being larger in carriers is based off that female animals, humans included, have a larger aggression thing in the brain (whatever it's called) than in males. But, females can control it better, while male animals get angry quicker due to testosterone. Hence why 98% of all road rage is caused by men. And why dogs and cats are more aggressive and biting people if they aren't neutered. Always fix your pets! To fix behavior issues, they're healthier, AND to stop pet overpopulation. Anyway, scientists believe us females have the larger aggressive thing because when we get pissed we get SUPER pissed because we have babies to defend. Hence why you get momma grizzly bear whenever you hurt a child and the mother beats the shit out of you.**

 **It is very hard for some people to accept certain things are lies and leave them behind. As an activist I see this constantly when I am educating people to go vegan, stop child abuse, etc. People have been told these lies for so long, and lived them that they have a hard time imagining NOT living that abusive life anymore, and don't even see it AS abusive, or unnecessary. So, people believe the lies that humans are omnivores, that we're supposed to eat animals, wear fur, hit kids, use negative reinforcement, never talk, sexism and racism is fine, etc. All these lies are so ingrained into people's minds that they have a hard time getting rid of them to follow the ACTUAL science, facts, logic, and even common sense of the truth.**

 **Don't be a bigot. Go vegan, stop hitting kids, stop being racism, use vaccines, just open your eyes to the truth, to science, to facts, and don't be part of the problem anymore.**

 **Phantom kicks is something women experience when they feel like they're still pregnant and the baby is kicking. It's quite common.**

 **Shutting down the computer, changing the screen, etc. is something I got very good at when hiding what I was doing from my evil parents. It wasn't like I was doing anything bad. I would be looking at videogame stuff, deviantART, facebook, etc. but to my parents ANYTHING online is porn. Even though I never saw anything close to porn until AFTER I escaped...**

 **Oh, and I also graduated college WITH HONORS! :D Well, technically still working on two classes I got extensions on due to losing my baby. And you can see my senior project and read about it on my deviantART as well.**

 **I'll get the next chapter up really soon. It's written out already, I just need to edit out mistakes. Also, did you guys hear that Hasbro hasn't renewed the license with IDW and that is forcing IDW to end their Transformers comic series! The longest TF comic series with the most awards, the BEST storyline and character development, best art, going into the most important shit such as mental health, the effects of war, politics, abuse, etc. is ending because Hasbro is being a poopy head!**

 **Why is this happening?! This series literally distracted me in late 2014 from killing myself when I didn't have Maggie or Genevieve with me. I suffered a year without my babies due to my abusive parents illegally holding them, and during that time my depression got so bad... I was so close to ending it. Then I found out about Transformers (other than Bayformers) in the summer of 2014, and I fucking binged all of TF: Prime, the movie, all four seasons of G1 cartoon and the movie, all of TF: Animated, Beast wars, Beast Machines, and some of Amarda in a month's time. Yes, that fast. And then I found out about the IDW comics and fucking bought all of them. I bought the first volume on November 28th, 2014. And was so engaged it distracted me long enough until I got Maggie and Genevieve back in January 2015. And I started to write my first fanfic ever, _Ancillam_ , in March of 2015. I started fanfic writing in less than a year of getting into Transformers. first time ever fanfic writing. I mostly just work on my original stories about dragons and aliens. Which, check out my deviantART to see more of that.**

 **Anyway... I'm astronomically upset about Hasbro doing this. I NEED these comics for Starscream's butt! And the story... And I need to find out what happens! Ugh! This can't be Dreamwave all over again!**

 **Maybe we should petition? If I or someone else started a petition think we could get enough people to sign to get Hasbro to change their mind?**


	24. Back to Vos

**Chapter 24**

 **Two Stellar Cycles Later:**

"Ah! Ah! Stop! Ah! I hate you! Ouch! Nrrrgh!"

Skywarp giggled, holding my manacled wrists down on the table as I was forced to lean over it. "Gee, kinda harsh, aren't ya, Scree?"

"Ah! Shut up! Ah! Nrrgh! Damn you both! Ah!" I shrieked, kicking back at Thundercracker as he brutally beat my rear end with a paddle.

"Aw, he loves us." Skywarp fluttered his wings.

"Do NOT!" I screamed, my aft getting absolutely pulverized.

Thundercracker kept beating my rear end with that paddle, leaving nasty dents with each strike. I couldn't do anything but take it, scream, and cry. All because I had consented to this. Somewhat. I did fight them a little about it.

Thundercracker really was giving it all he had, and had been for a while, when the paddle suddenly broke in half at the handle after another strike. He studied the handle that was left, then tossed it aside.

"Your fat aft broke a paddle." He grunted before smacking my bottom with his servo.

"Ouch!" I flicked my wings before perking them. "Really? My aft broke a paddle?" I then fluttered my wings, smiling some. "My aft accomplished something against my enemies!"

"He's proud of this, TC. We must humble him!" Skywarp giggled.

I am still proud to this orbital cycle for every paddle, switch, cable, everything that has broken from being smacked across my aft. It fills me with pride that my aft fights back against my attackers.

"Oh, he'll me humbled." Thundercracker grabbed a switch and returned.

"No… Not that… Can't you just hump me already?" I moaned, being forced to lift my rear back up in the air.

"Not dented enough for that." Thundercracker replied before resuming the beating with the switch.

"Ah! Mmnnnnrrrgh! Ah! Stop! Nnnngh!" I clutched Skywarp's wrists, that switch hurting so much more than the paddle.

"Shhhh, we do this out of love, Scree." Skywarp giggled.

"Ah! I hate this love! Ouch! I want to file-OUCH!-File for divorce!"

"Not happening." Thundercracker so calmly, evilly replied as he never ceased in lashing my aft.

Skywarp licked and kissed my faceplates, ignoring my pathetic screams and crying. Thundercracker absolutely gave me a nasty aft beating. After a slag-ton of lashes from the switch he used a cable, then a tawse, a crop, and a flogger. All on _just_ my aft. And he smacked it some with his servo.

I was crying by the end of it, and it hurt to walk, but I was so turned on and wanting a spike in me. Thundercracker grabbed me and turned me around, forcing me to looking back into a mirror so I could see what my aft looked like. It was so dented, all the paint was gone, I even had energon leaking in some places. It looked absolutely horrible.

And I smiled.

"I love it." I studied it before turning back to him. "Certainly what I needed." I kissed him on the lip plates.

"I'm not done with you yet." He grunted, and I could feel his hard spike pressing against my codpiece.

"Nah-uh." I waved a digit at him. "I want pictures with this beautiful aft." I looked back at the mirror, admiring the marvelous job he had done. And so evenly spread out all the dents and everything. It was truly perfection. He always made my aft look so beautiful after an intense aft beating. "Let me get my camera."

I grabbed it and made him pose with me. I had my back facing the mirror so my aft was very visible. One ped was lifted up gleefully, my front leaning against Thundercracker's chassis. My left servo held the camera up to take the picture of the mirror, my other servo on his left shoulder. He had his left servo possessively gripping my waist, while his right servo, his entire right side visible, hanging down, holding the bent over cable. I was smiling so proudly, and he had a serious glare, wings flared, making sure whoever saw this image knew exactly who was dominant, who owned me, and who had just beaten the slag out of my rear end mercilessly.

I loved that picture. I loved it so much that after my trinemates fragged me to death I then sent it to Skyfire and Gearshift. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought enough time had passed that they were accepting of my BDSM life and that I still refused to leave Thundercracker. But, I was wrong. I don't think Gearshift was as angry with me as he was worried. He was pretty quiet about it. Skyfire, as usual, was pissed and yelled at me that I was mistaking abuse for berthroom fun. And I couldn't convince him otherwise.

It was so upsetting for me to not get my best friends' support in what I was doing. So I stopped trying. I still hadn't told my family, and my trinemates hadn't told theirs. No one outside of the trine, minus my friends, knew I was trineleader. We were scared of the backlash. We had to stay quiet.

I was becoming more and more into BDSM. I wanted to do more, and I loved it. I had my trinemates tie me up in that complex chain tying. Making my ankles tied to my aft, the chains so tight around my body and in pretty patterns. Turning me into kind of an artwork than a "slave" tied up for an aft beating or humping. The complex bondage that put pressure on my codpiece and breastplates quickly became my favorites. And then we did things with ribbon. I honestly don't care if the ribbon and bowties are considered more for femmes, I liked how I looked in them. And because I looked so good I took pictures and videos of me being tied up, getting tied up, and things done to me when tied. I took so many pictures of my aft after a beating, during a beating, even being fragged. I was enjoying myself with this new sexual experience.

I loved it so much I actually anonymously shared the videos and images online in a BDSM forum. I wanted to meet more people who were into what I was into, and find out that I'm not the only one who liked being a "slave" in the berthroom. It felt… freeing to find out I wasn't alone in these emotions, desires, and needs. To find out how some very large, powerful mechs let their mates turn them into slaves, into submissives. And all the ideas I got from these other BDSM lovers.

I was able to learn how to better communicate to my trinemates, to learn to trust them, and not be afraid to ask them to tie me in this way, or use this on my aft, or even try some new toy or punishment technique. I became very involved and into that community because I was so new and inexperienced in it.

And one thing I started to learn more of and wanted to do was to dress up specifically for roleplaying or just… To look sexy for my trinemates.

I didn't want to look all sexy because I felt like I had to or that it was expected of me, but because I _wanted_ to. Submissives are expected to look nice for their trineleader. I had lived for so long keeping myself clean and presentable simply because Thundercracker demanded it. If I wasn't clean enough, or didn't smell right, or something else about my hygiene was not to his satisfaction I would be beaten and even dominated. I had to look and smell nice because he, as trineleader, required someone clean to put his spike into every orbital cycle. I was his property, his interface slave. I was expected to serve and pleasure him.

And because of that mistreatment, and some because of depression, I didn't want to be clean or presentable to him once I became trineleader. For a while, I kind of skipped out on showers, and didn't smell my best. I was upset, I was depressed, and I wanted to find out what he would do. If he truly loved me surely he would still love me even if my paint was chipped and I wreaked of oil, right? And no matter how gross I got, he did continue interfacing with me, kissing me, and telling me how much he loved me.

And after seeing that love for a while despite my physical appearance or upkeep, I realized that… He didn't expect me to look a certain way for him anymore. He actually loved me for who I was even if I didn't shower that morning.

And now since I was healing from depression and wanting to be with him sexually so much, I also wanted to give him my beautiful, clean, sexy body. For myself and him. I wanted to look good for him. I wanted him to see me and get hard at how incredible I looked. So, that's what I did next in my sexual adventures with my trinemates.

I was terrified when I first went and bought myself some provocative attire. There's a stigma about them, usually that only femmes wear them, but I always have had a very feminine frame so I knew it would work. I went to an adult store, bought this very sexy, cute red ribbon thing, and hid it when I got home. I got myself to look _good_ that night. I told Skywarp that I was having a special night with Thundercracker, but I would give him a special morning. That kept that slagger away for the evening.

I got myself cleaned, painted, buffed, got it all done. I then put on the sexy outfit that supposedly was suppose to make my chest look bigger, bring attention to my curves, and highlight my codpiece. I don't know if any of that worked on Thundercracker, but I certainly looked fabulous in it. All tight, showing much of my body, ribbons, the bowties, the netting… I took pictures in the mirror of me wearing it.

I heard Thundercracker getting home from walking Sierra and got into position. I dimmed the lights, lit the two candles I had found in the closet, and took a sexy pose on the berth. Well, I think it was sexy. I still hadn't mastered that quite yet.

The slagger took longer than I expected to finally get his fat aft into my room.

"Hey, Star, I'm back from-" He stopped, noticing me. "Um… Okay… Whoa."

I smirked. "Hey, handsome." I ran two digits along the side of my body, trying to be all sexy-like. "Like what you see?"

He sheepishly smiled. "This is for me?"

"All of it." I fluttered my wings as I gestured to my frame.

He closed and locked the door. "You don't expect anyone else, do you?"

"Just you and me, big guy."

He approached me, stopping at the berth, and studying me. "That looks good on you."

"Thank you."

He placed his servos on the berthtop as he leaned over me. "It will look better after I tear it off your hot, beaten aft, then shove my hard spike in you." He said it firmly, commanding, lovingly.

I fluttered my wings. "I'm all yours."

He then did something I did not expect. With one servo he grasped my wrists and pinned them to the berth above my helm. With his other servo he grabbed one of the candles, tilted it, and let the burning wax drip onto my breastplates.

"Mmmmph!" I bit on my lower lip plate before loudly gasping from the burn.

"You're mine." He growled before harshly kissing me on the lip plates.

"All yours." I panted.

He flipped me over, tore the ribbons off of my aft, then poured more hot wax onto my aft. I cried out, only to have the ribbons he ripped off me shoved into my mouth to silence me. He dripped the wax onto my wings, more on my aft, then flipped me over to pour more onto my chestplates. As I was whimpering from the burning sensation, and getting wet, he grabbed a flogger and returned.

"I'm going to whip that off of you." He snapped before pinning me down by the neck and lashing my chest, abdominal plates, codpiece, and thighs.

I writhed, moaned, and clung to his arm as he suffocated me. And he most certainly did whip that outfit off me… And did many other things to me. I loved it. Loved all of this very aggressive BDSM relationship of ours.

* * *

As I was trying to be as sexy and beautiful as possible for my trinemates, and having to buy more sexy outfits because Thundercracker was turned on by tearing them off, I also started to take pictures of myself being sexy or of my body and sending them to my trinemates when I was at work or they were in the other room. Thundercracker was quick to get in on it, sending me many beautiful pictures of his spike, even making sure it was erect just for me. Skywarp was slower on it. You would think he would be on it immediately, but he wasn't. He kept sending me pictures of elctro-toads having dress up parties over energon, or cybercat kittens playing in boxes.

It pissed me off because I wanted sexy pictures of him, not of animals! So, I sent BDSM images of myself. I even recorded short videos, like a few astroseconds long, of me doing something sexy, or what I thought was being sexy, and sending those to my trinemates. Even some recordings of me using a cable or something to lash my own aft.

Skywarp eventually caught on and began to send me pictures of his spike and valve. Then he got more creative and showed images I… I won't torture you with that imagery.

It was all becoming a game and fun with our bonding, playing with each other, and just having fun. And we were becoming so happy with each other, and the Seekerlets saw us finally acting like lovers and not a sad, domestic violence case. And that caused more changes in my life. Ones I just… knew were going to come.

"Love you more." Thundercracker kissed me, sitting on the couch.

'No, I love _you_ , more!" I kissed him back as I sat on his lap.

"I want in on it!" Skywarp forced his way in, the three of us soon sharing a three-way kiss.

"Hey."

I pushed my trinemates back to look up at my eldest. "What's up, princess?" I asked, wings perking.

"I need to talk to you guys about something." She sat on the small table in front of us.

"What about?" I sat up on Thunder's lap.

"So… I've been thinking about this for a while and I think it's about time I get my own place."

My wings lowered. "Y-you're moving out?" I asked slowly, feeling my spark sink. She's my sparkling!

"I enrolled myself in the Vosian War Academy. I'm moving to Vos." She explained.

"Have you found a place to stay?" Thundercracker asked.

"Yeah, an apartment. I'm going to talk to the landlord in a couple of orbital cycles."

"Do you need me to come with you? Sign anything?"

"No, I think I got this covered. I have gone over my finances, I have my paperwork filled out for the apartment and school, and everything is good to go." She paused, her wings lowering. "Carrier… Don't…"

"I'm fine." I said quickly, wiping away the coolant leaking from my optics because I'm so pathetic. "I just… I remember when I first held you…"

"Carrier…"

"So tiny… And delicate…"

"Carrier, I need to move out and get my own life elsewhere."

"I know. I just… I was preparing for this orbital cycle but now that it's here…." I turned to her sire. "Make her stay."

"She's an adult, Star. She made her decision. And I'm going to help her follow through with it." Thundercracker replied

"She's a sparkling!"

"Scree, Zephyr is a tough femme. She got this." Skywarp spoke up. "And we got lots of family in Vos. She won't be alone."

"She won't be here."

"She's fine." Thundercracker grunted. "Zephyr, if you need anything from us, let us know. Your carrier will be fine."

"He better be fine." She flicked her wings at him. They still… Were not on the best of terms.

He ignored her hostility. "I'm proud of you. You're being very brave and responsible. I hope you enjoy the War Academy. I met your carrier there. Maybe you'll meet your trinemates there as well." He smiled.

"I'm not getting a trine." She grunted as she stood. "Don't worry, carrier. I'll call you every night and visit when I can. Promise." She kissed me on the cheekplates.

"Better or else I'll hunt you down, femme." I snapped.

"I will." She smiled.

It was hard letting her go. She moved out within the orn. I cried when helping her pack and move. You spend stellar cycles preparing for this orbital cycle and when it does happen… It's not easy. It never was easy with any of my creations. I hated it so much.

Zephyr moved out and had her own life elsewhere. A stellar cycle after moving out she picked up Sierra and took her with her. Those two were inseparable, so I'm glad she took her. And we had to adopt another cyberdog for the other Seekerlets. We ended up adopting quite a few pets who all moved out with a Seekerlet. It was good for them to have that companion and responsibility when leaving. And made me feel a little better knowing they had someone there who loves them keeping a close eye on them.

Storm was 27 stellar cycles old when he informed us he proposed to his femme-friend, Blaze, and she accepted. Surprisingly, Thundercracker wasn't mad. I think we all expected this so it was no surprise.

I had never been to a Conjunx Endura ceremony, so I was pretty anxious. But it was beautiful. Skywarp and I were a pathetic mess of tears, and I think Thundercracker even choked up when he heard his son say, "I do."

Storm and Blaze were stunning that night, and they had this last dance thing with their creators. I wasn't aware that happened at these grounder events, but I liked it. Never thought I would see Storm dance with his carrier like that. And I got to dance with Blaze. I loved her. She was very quickly accepted into the family.

Skywarp's sire was able to make the event, monitored by his trinemates of course, but Overcast wasn't able to leave. Skywarp filmed the entire thing and visited him to show him his grandson's joining ceremony.

It felt so empty in the apartment, now. Zephyr and Dawn were both at the War Academy in Vos, and now Storm was living with his mate in Iacon, but they were planning to move to Vos. Blaze had become very interested in working with Seekerlets since we don't get the best care from most medicine professionals. She wanted to have a hospital that specialized with Seekers and other fliers.

With only four Seekerlets in the apartment, and Starlight already not a little sparkling anymore, I went ahead and did something I had been thinking about doing for a very long time.

"Hey," I knocked on the door frame as I stood in it. "May I enter?"

"Yeah, come on in." Skywarp smiled, sitting on his berth.

I walked over and sat beside him. "Whatcha looking at?"

"Storm just was messaging me. He's already talking about being a sire. I'm too young to be a grandcarrier, and I'm trying to explain this to him. Do I look like I need to replace my faceplates? No rusting going on here!"

"We are way too young for grandcreations." I paused. "But we aren't too young for our own creations."

"Yeah."

I was silent a moment before continuing. "So… I was talking with Thundercracker… And we agreed that now is a good time."

His wings lowered some. "Having another?"

I slowly nodded. "Hopefully, yes. Another little sparkling running around. It's been so empty with those three moving out… I'm ready for another."

Skywarp bit his lower lip plate, looking down. "I… I'm happy with it. I love my nieces. You're a good carrier."

I faintly smiled, perking my wings. "Since when did I say I was having one with Thundercracker?"

Skywarp's optics widened as he looked at me, wings hiking. "Wait, what? Who else would you have them with?!"

I rolled my optics. "I would have one with you, idiot." I leaned over and kissed him.

"Why?"

"Because I love you and always wanted one with you." I said it like it was obvious.

"You sure you feel up to carrying again? You had five…"

"You don't want to carry?"

His wings lowered, quickly looking down. He swallowed before speaking. "I can't carry…" He said quietly.

"Why not?"

"I'm broken… another will die inside of me…"

"Warp… You're not broken. What happened… It could happen to anyone, and does. It's terrible, but does not mean you can't be a carrier."

"Both my carryings were bad…"

"Not really. Not like mine, but they weren't life threatening nor produced sick sparklings."

"And Thundercracker is fine with the idea of you breeding with me?"

"He is."

He looked away, anxious about carrying. "I'm scared… What if I lose another?"

I lifted his chin to make him look at me. "You won't. I promise." I smiled. "You want to make a sparkling?"

He thought a moment, then slowly nodded. "I do."

"Want to be the carrier?"

He nodded again.

I pressed my brow against his. "I love you."

"Love ya, too."

I kissed him on the lip plates, slow and lovingly. He kissed back, his servos reaching up to cup my faceplates. My servos felt along his body, pleasuring him with electrical shocks. I carefully made him lie down, then got over him. It didn't take long to get inside of him, us kissing as I thrust into him. I made him open his chestplates as I folded away mine. I pressed our sparks together, never breaking the kiss, never ceasing in my humping. We both cried out when we climaxed, our sparks bonding painfully together.

He swallowed, panting as he looked up at me. I kissed him again, panting myself. I smiled at him, wings fluttering, it feeling so good knowing my active nanites were in him, and we were making this sparkling.

"Want to go again?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I love you."

"Love ya, too, Scree."

* * *

He's so easy to spark. It took only a servoful of attempts before he came squealing into my room one morning holding up a scanner.

"I'm sparked!" He exclaimed, smiling so broadly I thought his face would break.

"Yes!" I hugged him, the both of us bouncing on our peds with such joy. "We're having a sparkling!"

"I'm so excited!" Skywarp fluttered his wings madly. He kissed me on the lip plates harshly. "Thanks, Starscream. Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet, love. We need to make sure this one makes it through to the end, first."

"Right." He kissed me again. "Mech or femme?"

"Femme."

"I say mech."

"Might be right. I know if they're in me they come out femmes. And so far they only come out mech from you."

He giggled. "We need to think of designations."

"Alright… Let's think." I smiled.

And it was a stellar cycle later that my son, Strikeblade, was born. My first, little, precious son. I had coolant leaking down my cheekplates when I met him in that hospital room, his carrier holding him. And I felt what it was like to be a sire. It's not as… Rewarding as being a carrier, having actually made the sparkling inside of you, but I still felt accomplishment. Like I was part of this, I helped in my own way, I cared for the carrier, and now here was my little son.

And of course once Skywarp and I got that taste of being creators together we had to do it again. Ad six stellar cycles later I welcomed my second son, Windspeed, into the world. Skywarp designated him after his sire, Lightspeed.

When we had Windspeed, all of the first seven Seekerlets, except Starlight had already moved out. And it was after Starlight had left that Skywarp and Thundercracker had another between them. A little femmling they designated Luna.

Life felt so amazing at this time. Three young Seekerlets who grew up never seeing abuse, shouting, or anything bad between their creators. They were so happy, they all loved Thundercracker so much, and everything just felt right.

Zephyr graduated from the War Academy and stayed in Vos, and Storm and his Conjunx Endura were living in Vos now because Blaze had a job at a hospital. Dawn and Skyblast had both also graduated from the War Academy in Vos, and Dawn had trined a young Seeker mech while attending. His designation was Fusillade, and I loved him like he was my own son. He was so kind, generous, and he loved my daughter more than anything in this world. And she him.

Dawn was older than I was when she had her first creation with him. He was non-traditional so waited until they were both ready. They hadn't gotten a third trinemate yet, but they were ready and wanted a creation. I went to live with her around the time she was due to help out and be there for her when the sparkling came. Thundercracker came later, having to stay behind to take care of Luna and Windspeed with Skywarp until they could travel.

It was one of the best orbital cycles of my life when I became a grandcarrier.

"Ah!" Dawn screamed, clutching Fusillade's servo in one of hers and mine in another.

"You got this, princess. I remember when I was giving birth to you." I said cheerily.

"Not helping!" She snapped at me.

"Shhh, you got this, love." Fusillade said soothingly.

"You're not helping either!"

"She takes after her carrier." Thundercracker grunted.

"One more push, and… She's out!" The doctor announced, catching the sparkling.

"Finally…" Dawn groaned, loosening her grip on our servos.

"You did awesome, gorgeous." Fusillade kissed her.

"Help me up." She started to sit up.

"Now you can live the fun part." I smiled. "I hope she makes you have to clean up a lot of waste like what you put me through."

"Stop embarrassing me, carrier."

"You'll soon learn why I do it."

She rolled her optics, sitting up and leaning against her trineleader. Fusillade kept kissing her, his wings fluttering. She kissed him back, the two nuzzling olfactory sensors.

"Congratulations." The doctor said when he finally returned with the sparkling bundled in a blanket. "She's a healthy, little femmling."

Dawn took her, holding her daughter close, the two new creators admiring their firstborn.

"She's beautiful." Dawn finally said, never looking away from the little one.

"She's incredible." Fusillade kissed her, then turned to me. "So, carrier, how did we do?"

"Still not sure how I feel about my daughter having interface with you, but… she's a perfect little granddaughter." I smirked.

"Want to hold her?" Dawn asked.

"Please."

She handed me my granddaughter, and the moment I held the little one I felt like I aged. My little femmlings were having femmlings of their own! Ugh, I was so old and not even a vorn old yet! But, holding Destiny for the first time like that… I also felt so amazing. My first grandcreation. I felt my spark chill.

I had to hand her over to Thundercracker, and he completely melted.

"Hey," He said softly, smiling. "I'm your grandsire, Thundercracker." He gently kissed her brow, his engine purring.

Fusillade's creators also got to hold her before she was given back to her carrier. Fusillade and Dawn cuddled and admired their creation, so excited about this next step in their life. I kind of wanted another of my own, but thinking about it… I had carried five and Skywarp had carried five, and Thundercracker had sired eight of those ten… I think my trine had done our share of procreation. We discussed it and agreed that our time was done. It was now just going to be focusing on each other and grandcreations. Maybe at some point far into the future we may have a couple more, but… Not for a very, _very_ long time. Our CNA was passed on to the next generation and I already looked like I had birthed a few creations, so we definitely were good.

And the other Seekerlets also started to make big changes. Storm and Blaze eventually had a son, then before I knew it Tempest was trined. Then Skyblast had two femmes for trinemates, and Rogue got a trine, then Strikeblade was trined, and Starlight, and Windspeed was the last to trine. It became obvious that Zephyr was not interested in trining because she still wasn't after all her siblings were, and she was not showing interest in anyone. I stopped worrying about her after I had talked to my brother Hellfire. He also was not trined, and made it clear he never intended to trine. But he also said he never felt any sexual desires so… Make of that as you would. He was happy living with all his cyberdogs and turbofoxes. And Zephyr had Sierra and another cyberdog she got.

Then more grandcreations were being born. And I just felt older. All of the Seekerlets moved back to Vos, despite none ever having lived there before. I guess Seekers just have a programming or something built in us to call Vos home. And they also wanted to bring the different life of Iacon to Vos to help her develop culturally. Which Vos really needed.

The next big thing to happen in my life was my graduation from the Iacon Science Academy with 16 Masters and highest honors. My sire even made it out to see me. Carrier was there, my full siblings and their trines, all of my creations and Skywarp's creations with their trines, some of my aunts and uncles, grandcreations… I definitely had the biggest family there at the ceremony.

Skyfire had waited to graduate with me. We did this for almost a vorn together. I was a vorn old at this point and… I'm so old! But, so were the rest of my trinemates and friends, so… They can't make fun of me. I'm still the youngest.

Anyway, I was so nervous, walking across that stage and getting my diploma, hearing my designation said over the speakers, and hearing my family cheering me on. The first Seeker to ever get a masters, to attend a science academy, to get any sort of doctorate. I was the first generation in my family to even attend an academy other than the War Academy. I made history for Seekers that orbital cycle. I made it even getting into the Science Academy, and made it 16 times again with each masters I got. And I am immensely proud of myself for it and think I have earned the right to brag about it. It's not an easy accomplishment. Not at all. And I did it. I'm proud of myself, and don't regret doing any of it.

"I did it!" I squealed, hugging my trinemates, holding my diploma up.

"I'm so proud of you." Thundercracker kissed me, his wings fluttering. Oh, and at this time… No one in the family knew I was trineleader. We still were keeping that a secret. It saved us from drama.

"Yay, Scree!" Skywarp proclaimed, hugging me tightly.

"Eeeee!" I kept squealing, jumping, fluttering my wings, hugging my carrier and sire, then the rest of my family. I paused when seeing Skyfire's creators by him, knowing Oilspill hated me, but I still went over and hugged them. I was hugging everyone, screaming, and so happy.

"This is one of the happiest orbital cycles of my life. Up there with giving birth to my daughters." I smiled, talking to my trinemates, holding a couple of bouquets of crystal flowers that had been given to me by Thundercracker and my sire.

"Well, you certainly were carrying this 'sparkling' longer." Thundercracker smirked.

I fluttered by wings. "And this one hurt more." I nodded sagely.

"And this one is allowed to never move out."

"And this one can be in the berthroom when we-AAAAAA!" I screamed like a terrified, little femmling as I spun around, someone having poked my sides.

"Congrats, Star." Gearshift smiled, holding out his arms for a hug.

My optics widened, not expecting him at all. He had said it would be safest for him not to come incase Thundercracker attacked. But, here he was. I had not been beside him since he left me to study in another city. Since we were still adolescents. In almost an entire vorn.

I tried to say something, but nothing came out. I dropped everything I had been holding and hugged him, wings fluttering madly. He hugged me back, hugging each other for the first time in so long.

"Missed your hugs, flyboy." He smiled.

"You idiot. Why did you tell me you weren't coming?" I demanded, still clinging to him.

"Because I'm mean like that. I think you got shorter."

"Probably. All those sparkling taking part of me with them… But you still smell nice." I fluttered my wings.

"And you're getting weird now." He pushed me off. I love making him awkward. He turned to Thundercracker and held out his servo. "I'm Gearshift. Nice to finally meet you, Thundercracker."

Thundercracker hiked his wings, exhaling a loud snort. He studied the grounder's servo before taking it in his.

"Hmm." He grunted.

I fluttered my wings. It was a good introduction. Gearshift still had his arm!

"Oh, I'm so proud of you, Starscream!" Gearshift's carrier exclaimed, making her presence known.

"Second carrier!" I hugged her. That was what I always called her.

I finally got to meet Gearshift's mate and creations. Weird when there's not like… a lot of creations…

We all celebrated that night, my carrier and Gearshift's carrier talking endlessly with each other. Sire complained a lot about politics, and I just hung out with my two best friends. It was so wonderful to have Skyfire and Gearshift both right there with me.

After the party ended and the guests all gone, my trine and I had our own party in the berthroom. And I had to get my aft lashed 160 times. 10 times for each Masters, then I got 16 overloads, one for each Masters. They managed to pull off getting me to overload that many times. I about died, or felt like it, but they did it.

Everything in my life was just happy and amazing now. And it was getting better.

* * *

"Hey, Skywarp, I need to talk to you." Thundercracker said, waving him over.

Skywarp teleported beside him. "Yyyyyyyyyyyyes?" He giggled, fluttering his wings before hugging Thundercracker.

Thundercracker rolled his optics, giving him a gentle hug back. "Can you keep a secret?"

"Oh! Is it juicy?" He snickered, fluttering his wings.

"Eh, not really. I need you to help me with something."

"I'm a good helper! Pick me!" He jumped excitedly. "Mmmm! I volunteer!"

"Shhh, calm down. So… I… I was kind of… mean to Starscream for a long time."

"Understatement of the vorn, but go on."

"I want to make up for it, or at least apologize to him somehow."

"Honorable intention."

"So… I kind of been doing research and… I'm going to give him a romantic date. Just us. Me and him."

"Wut 'bout me?"

"I'll give you one later. But Starscream comes first because… I-I almost killed him. So, I need your help to keep him distracted as I plan this night and set it up for him. Can you do that?"

Skywarp stood at attention as he saluted. "Aye-aye, cap-eeton!" He mispronounced "captain" on purpose. He then lowered his wings as he relaxed. "Wut I do?"

"Just… Don't tell him anything and let me surprise him."

"What's in it for me?" He smirked.

"Interface?"

"Better than that, big guy."

"Energon goodies?"

"Nah-uh."

"Shanix?"

"Oh, calling me a whore, now, are you?"

"A puppy?" Thundercracker tried again.

"Wrong!"

"Um… My unconditional love and devotion."

"No, blueboy." Skywarp got in his face. "I want your spark on a spike!"

Thundercracker rolled his optics as he shoved him away. "How about I pay you and that be it?"

"Okay!" Skywarp giggled, hugging Thundercracker again. "I love you."

"Love you, too. Even if you're weird…" Thundercracker patted his helm, not ever understanding Skywarp. No one could.

* * *

It was a decacycle after I had graduated when I got the best surprise of my life. I landed on the balcony, just having finished my shift at my internship at the Iacon Medical and Technological Advancement Research Center. Or, IMTARC if you hate typing. It was a paid internship, too. And Skyfire was also working there. We just referred to it as "the lab." Anyway… I got home from that place and palmed open the door.

"I'm home!" I called out, entering. The apartment was completely dark, the windows having been covered over. "Um… Hello?" I hiked my wings, not sure what was going on. "Am I about to be murdered?" I inquired as I walked forward, turning on my night vision. I could see that all the furniture had been moved against the walls. Quite peculiar.

Then, I noticed light and turned off my night vision. Just around the corner was the table, having been moved. And on it was several lighted candles, a large bouquet of crystal flowers, and a fancy meal with engex. My wings perked, not sure about this dim lighted scene before me.

"Hey, love." Thundercracker smiled, standing by. "You like?"

"This is for me?" I faintly smiled, not sure about this.

"Tonight is all about you." He replied.

I felt so sheepish as I approached. "What's the occasion?"

"Does there need to be an occasion for me to romance my mate?"

"It's just kind of… Not Seeker-y." I studied the table, noting how he even had a table cloth on it.

"Well, you're not any typical Seeker." He lifted my chin and kissed me on the lip plates.

I just sheepishly smiled as I looked away. I never could handle this sort of thing. He kissed me again before pulling out the chair closest to me. I sat down and he pushed it closer to the table for me. He sat across from me, nervous himself.

"Where did all of this come from?" I asked as I inspected the energon before me. It was not your usual energon delicacies. More of those fancy things that the rich dine on because their palette requires the finer, rarer things.

"I saved Shanix and convinced a grounder to buy it for me. We're probably the first Seekers to eat this slag."

"Might be poisonous, then."

"Might."

I fluttered my wings before trying the hard energon. It certainly had a unique taste. More.. Not sweet. Now when I think back on it it reminds me of smoke, but it wasn't that. Just… a strong taste that did not have anything crude, no oil, just very pure, filtered energon. I liked it.

"That's different." I commented.

"It does have an interesting texture."

"Yeah."

"Try the engex."

"I'm scared to. Probably my retirement savings here." I smiled, picking up the skinny glass. I sipped it, and damn, my mate knew how to pick out the best of the overpriced engex. It was amazing. It was the best engex I had had at that point in my life. "Who the hell did you kill to get this?"

"The entire Senate." He smirked.

"Aw," I fluttered my wings. "Why are their helms not here, then? You know I like fresh decapitated helms on my wall." It's true. I do.

"Sorry, love. They were too big and fat to carry all of them to you, otherwise I would have."

"Tsk tsk. I think someone earned a paddling." I fluttered my wings.

"Good luck getting me to hold still."

"I meant me, silly. I need one for not better training you." I giggled.

He rolled his optics. "Well, the night isn't over. Just wait until after refuel."

"Oh?" I perked my wings.

He just smirked, sipping his engex. I eyed him, not sure what he was up to.

We talked some as we finished refueling, and drinking that amazing engex, then he took me out of the apartment. He led the way as we flew deeper into the city. He transformed and landed outside what used to be an old shop. I landed beside him, not sure why we were here. He took me inside and I quickly figured out why.

My wings perked, optics widening when I saw the dance floor, heard the music, and saw other romancing couples dancing together. I turned to him, not sure this was real.

"You had said you wanted to go dancing." He smiled.

"A long time ago."

"I never forgot." He held his servo out to me.

Damn, did I have good taste in mechs. I took his servo, and he led me to the dance floor, then got into position. One servo on my waist, the other holding my servo. I was so awkward, not knowing what I was doing, but he helped guide my servos and peds into place.

"I don't know how to do this." I anxiously bit my lip plate.

"I know. That's why I went and took a few lessons just so I could do this with you."

My wings perked. "Really?" They fluttered. "Are you from heaven?"

He snorted a snicker. "If you want me to be, I am."

"Just that… I-I never expected or thought anyone would learn how to dance for me."

"Well, you kind of mean the world to me. So, I'll do anything for you."

I didn't know what to say, so I hugged him instead. "I love you."

"Love you more." He kissed me before getting back into position for dancing.

"Okay, what the hell do I do?"

"First thing, is you need to move your peds like this." He started to show me. "Don't step on mine."

"Sorry."

"You're doing fine. Now, sway your hips like this. You got it. Think you can sync to the rhythm of the music?"

"I'm a scientist, not a performance artist."

"It's kind of like sword fighting. Graceful, smooth-"

"Deadly?"

"I mean, if we were on a secret mission to assassinate each other…"

"Ooh! I want to assassinate you!" I giggled. "Now I definitely need to know how to dance. That's a very important point you have. Paramount."

"You and Skywarp are so weird…"

"You trined us."

"I did…"

"I think I'm getting it."

"You're improving. Want to be spun?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, We'll do it slow first. I'm going to push you like this." He did so. "And you need to take one, two, three steps, yes, and back to me." He pulled me back. "Excellent. Now, faster." He did it faster, spinning me around

"Primus, I'm not built for this."

"You got it. Want to go again?"

I smiled up at him. "Yes."

I think we danced for almost two joors. We were getting better, and I really liked it. I would later keep dancing and learning more about it. Knowing how to dance certainly would pay off when I became the Decepticon Second in Command. You'd be surprised how necessary dancing is to manipulate people.

After we were tired from that, Thundercracker took me south of Iacon. We flew for maybe two breams before he transformed and landed in seemingly nowhere. I landed beside him and he took my servo. We walked, soon arriving at a beach just as the sun begun to set. Remote area of the beach so no garbage or other romancing couples there.

We just walked along it, talking about things. Palaver regarding our creations, life, each other. Nothing big. Nothing of note for most of it at least. Then, I finally just asked him.

"What was this for, really?" I perked my wings, looking up at him.

"Hmm?"

"There's a reason you did all of this for me. Why? Why not just one of these ventures by itself rather than lump them all together? Why spend so much on me?"

Thundercracker didn't speak immediately. He ceased walking, took both my servos in his, and faced me. "I was really awful to you when I was trineleader…"

"Ain't that the truth…"

"Yeah… And it's taken me a long time to process what I did, how it effected you, and how it messed up our trine and creations. I…" He swallowed. "You almost died. I held you… A-and I thought that was the end…" He took a moment, reining his emotions back in and resetting his vocalizer. "I didn't understand then as I do now what my actions were causing. I was just doing what I had always been told to do. What I believed was right." He paused, gathering himself. "And it's taken me this long to get the courage and just humble myself enough to say… I'm sorry. I am so, so, _so_ sorry. I'm sorry for beating you, for punching, and flogging, and hurting you constantly. I'm sorry for shouting at you, threatening you, insulting you, breaking you down… For r-raping you, and sparking you without your consent. All of them were without your consent… And I…" He swallowed, his optics filling with coolant, remembering this always making him emotional, even to this orbital cycle. "I am so, _fragging_ sorry th-that I pushed you to suicide, a-and Syk use. No one sh-should have gone through what I put you through. No one should want to die to escape the one who should love them. I'm so _sorry_. A-and nothing I do or say will be able to take any of that back. I ruined your life. Y-you now have depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal tendencies… And those may never go away because of what I did. I hurt you and gave you wounds that may never heal. You almost died because of what I did. I'm sorry. I-I don't deserve your forgiveness. I almost killed you-"

"Stop. Just stop." I cupped his faceplates, never breaking optic contact with him. I swallowed before continuing. "You did some terrible things to me and Skywarp. Raping us, beating us, just… But that's not you anymore. I don't think it ever truly was you. We had been lied to so much to believe we need to do these awful things, and be slaves to the trineleader, and so much complete and utter slag. But that's not who we are. We're better now. And even though you gave me Seekerlets when I wasn't ready… I feel like maybe I needed them at that time. Who knows how my life may have ended up without them during that hard time.

"Thundercracker… I love you. I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. I love you so much that I became trineleader so I wouldn't lose you. You're everything to me." I paused to study him, some coolant now leaking down his cheekplates. "You are really brave and amazing for doing all of this for me and apologizing. Most wouldn't admit they did wrong and apologize for it."

"I'm not like most."

"Yeah… I knew that when I trined you." I kissed him on the lip plates. "It was a really amazing night. Thank you. And thanks for apologizing."

"You're welcome, but the night isn't over."

I perked my wings. "What else are we doing?"

He sheepishly smiled. "I show my love the only other way I know how." He kissed me on the lip plates.

I smiled, kissing back. "Yeah?"

"Mhmm." He kept kissing me, getting more and more passionate. I wrapped my arms around his helm, his servos grasping my waist. He began to lower me, placing me onto the sand. He got over me, still kissing me, his servos pleasuring me. Then, he stopped, his optics locked on mine. "Do you want me?" He asked in such a gentle, unsure, and hopeful vocalizer.

I smiled up at him, cupping his faceplates. "Always." I answered.

His smile grew before capturing my lip plates in a hungry kiss. Our glossas were soon battling each other, his servos pleasuring me, feeling me, stroking my body. I pleasured him back, spreading my legs apart, inviting him in as I folded away my codpiece. He started to kiss my neck, then my chest, trailing kissing down my body, going lower and lower.

"Oh!" I gasped, my optics offlining and helm lolling back when he finally reached it. I grasped at the ground, my fists balling around sand. I moaned, gasping, panting, the only other sound was of the waves, surging in rhythm.

He really went out on me that night. It was the best interface I had had with him in a very long time. And because this night, this intimacy was so special for us… I think I'll keep what happened just between him and me. But I will say this: The marine animals did not get any recharge with my screaming.

* * *

Skywarp perked his wings when we got home later that night. He teleported over to the door just as I skipped in.

"Well, how it go?" He inquired.

I skipped over, smiling broadly, kissed him, then skipped away still smiling like a love struck idiot. Skywarp raised an optical ridge as he watched me go the stairs and away. He then turned to Thundercracker.

"Well?"

Thundercracker smiled. "It was amazing."

"Just amazing? No juicy details?"

"Something juicy was detailed all right."

"What?"

Thundercracker slowly shook his helm still smiling. He then turned to Skywarp. "He's more than satisfied for the orn." He lifted Skywarp's chin and kissed him on the lip plates. "Your turn."

Skywarp giggled, his wings fluttering. "You have to carrying me." He held up his arms.

Thundercracker picked him up bridal style and started for the stairs. "Want anything special?"

"All of the above." Skywarp snickered, wrapping his arms around Thundercracker's neck as he hugged him.

"As you wish." He kissed him on the lip plates, their wings fluttering.

* * *

My life was perfect. Finally, after all this time, I was truly happy. While I still had depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and mental health issues, I actually was not suicidal. My depression had lessened, and I was healing. It wasn't perfect, but I was getting there. I could just focus on me, my trinemates, my work, and my friends. My creations had their own lives now with their trines and creations, and they visited when they could. Mostly they called me every night or stayed in touch in some way. I never lost contact with any of my creations or nephews. The only hard time really was a scare with Luna. Thundercracker and Skywarp are both outliers, and that's how they met each other was in the outlier labs. Awful place. We were lucky that none of their creations were outliers. It's very rare to be an outlier, and it's still a low chance of being one if one or both your creators are one. But, Luna showed signs of being an outlier when she was 7 stellar cycles old, and by the time she was adolescent it was clear she was one. She started setting things on fire by accident and made things move without touching them.

Skywarp cried when we found out, not because she was an outlier, but because of the risk of her being abducted to be experimented on. Luckily, no one found out. We were able to work with her in secret and Skywarp helped her learn how to control her powers. She has the ability to harness kinetic energy, charge it, and use it to create explosions or almost like telekinesis to move an object. Small objects. She couldn't move things much larger than a chair. Over the vorns she would be able to move larger objects and people, and make massive explosions, but when she was young it was very small, weak, and her still learning.

We were scared for her and the possibility of the outlier labs finding her, but she did get a trine with two mechs, and I knew she was safe with them. The trineleader was non-traditional, and he was very protective of her.

Other than the scare with Luna nothing really happened in my life at this time. Not until we moved back to Vos.

We stayed in Iacon for almost another vorn after my graduation. Skyfire and I were partners at the lab we worked at, and I also taught part-time at the Science Academy. Skyfire and I wanted to have our own lab in Vos to not just help the economy there by giving fliers a place to work, but to start a school for Seekers and other flyers, help with education in Vos for the middle and lower classes, and improve research for fliers. Medical and technological advancements for flier builds was rare during that time, and Vos really needed all the help we could offer.

So, working with our former professors and current employers, we got a lab built and running in Vos with Skyfire and I being the head of it. And once that was set up we packed up, said goodbye to the city that changed my life, and moved back home to Vos.

I did miss her. But I don't think she missed me. And I know that because a lot of bad slag happened to me after returning. And this is where my life gets painful and full of slag once more.

It was three orbital cycles since we had moved back into Vos. We had finally unpacked and made our apartment beautiful and clean. We decided to reward ourselves by going to the plaza for a walk, see our home, enjoy ourselves. I didn't lead, though. We still hadn't told anyone about me being trineleader, again, because we were terrified of the backlash, so I walked behind and to the right of Thundercracker. It was awkward, but here I was known. I'm a prince. Everyone had seen me in the news when it announced my birth, even when my carrier was carrying me. My life was documented for the public just as with my other bazillion-million-slag-ton siblings. In Iacon I could be in front and no one knew who or what I was. Here… I was known to be one of the submissive princes. I needed to be behind Thundercracker to not draw suspicion. And also Thunder is massive so it would be weird for the smallest Seeker to be leading…

I digress. We were walking in the plaza, lovely orbital cycle, sun shining, birds squawking, Seekerlets playing and making me want another… We were by the statues of past Alphas and the current afthelm. The statues are by a large fountain that Seekerlets and other younglings tend to play in. On the other side of the statues is the stage where the Alpha addresses the Seekers as a people, and also where public punishment is often dealt by the Alpha or by other trineleaders. There are whipping posts with chains and everything so one can easily drag their submissive over and flog the life out of them.

And it wasn't uncommon to see a public humiliation being done in this plaza, from floggings, aft beatings, to rape, err, dominating to an extreme amount.

"Can we go play?" Skywarp snickered, his wings fluttering as he looked over at the Seekerlets playing in the water fountain.

Thundercracker smirked. "What if you fall over and start crying?"

"Eh, I'm a big mechling. I'll be fine." He giggled.

"I don't know… you're pretty clumsy."

"I am." Skywarp playfully tugged at Thundercracker's wing, his own wings fluttering. "Scree, we should go play in the fountain!" He paused. "Scree?"

I wasn't paying attention. My wings hiked up, staring, unable to look away at what was happening on the other side of the plaza. There was a crowd around one of the whipping posts, and tied to it, being brutally flogged was a young Seeker. I heard every lash tearing across his body, followed by his pained cries. The crowd was laughing, jeering, mocking. I didn't know his crime, but I knew it didn't deserve this. And the trineleader's optics were cold. Nothing in them but fury.

Thundercracker perked his wings, noticing what I was watching, then lowered them. "Star, we should go." He put his servo on my shoulder.

I didn't acknowledge him, just kept watching, wincing, knowing that pain, that fear, that helplessness. It wasn't right. This shouldn't be happening. It was wrong. I hated it! I wanted it to stop. All of it! All of this beating and flogging and just abuse in the Seeker culture. I didn't know this Seeker, but I just knew he wasn't a bad person who deserved this mistreatment.

"Starscream?"

"We need to do something. We need to stop it." I said quickly, never looking away.

"Star, love, we can't. It's not our business. It's not our trine."

I turned back. "He's being hurt! Th-th-there's no reason for that! W-w-we can't just let this happen!"

"Star, I know it upsets you to see it, but it's not our place. He's a trineleader and he knows what's best."

I glared at him, my wings flicking. "Like you did?" I snapped.

His wings quickly lowered, his expression changing to one of guilt and sadness. "Star, I made a mistake, but that doesn't mean every trineleader does."

"No, just the ones who hurt their submissives." I glanced back at the whipping post, then at my trinemate. "I'm not a witness any longer."

And with that I bolted.

"Starscream!" Thundercracker shouted. "Frag." He flicked his wings. "He's going to get himself killed. Come on!" He ran after me, not knowing that this would become his life's motto. Realizing I was going to get myself killed and needing to step in.

"AH! AH! AH!" The young Seeker screamed from each cruel lash across his backside, hanging from the chains, too weak to support himself at this point.

The trineleader kept swinging his arm, tearing that whip across the body of the one he was supposed to love and cherish. The crowd was pleased, cheering on the trineleader and jeering at the victim, telling him he deserved this and that disobedient sluts like him required this.

"Stop crying, brat." The trineleader snapped. "You only have yourself to-ARGH!"

The crowd gasped, shocked, horrified, and probably amused when I suddenly appeared and punched that trineleader as hard as I could in his ugly faceplates, causing him to fall on his aft. He was stunned, sitting there, a servo slowly reaching up to rub over where I had struck him.

"What the hell?!" He shouted, glaring up at me.

I flared my wings, engine growling. "This ends, now." I snapped.

"What? Are you a fragging idiot!? I'm punishing my submissive!"

I turned away and approached the young Seeker. He was about how old I was when I trined, so this probably was his first beating or one of the first. He flinched away from me as I begun to untie him. Energon leaked from his backplates, wings, and even faceplates from the lashes he had received. His optics were a bright yellow, just terror in them.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I said softly as I removed the chains. They were so tight they had dented his wrists.

Once he was freed he fell down, weak from the flogging. Instead of running or something practical, he crawled to his trineleader and hugged him, flaring his wings, it obviously hurting him to do so, and protecting him. He was still crying, trembling, and scared, but he stayed with his abuser. And I saw myself. When Thundercracker beat and raped me, and I would be in so much pain, screaming, and crying, but I clung to him for comfort, love, and refused to leave him. Refuse to leave the one who hurt me so.

The trineleader flicked his wings at me, then flared them. "What is wrong with you? Look what you have done!" He gestured to his crying submissive as if I had broken him.

"What have I done?" I flicked my wings. "What were _you_ doing?! What has he done to deserve being flogged?! What has _anyone_ done to deserve such treatment?!" I screamed, then noticed the crowd anxiously watching. I looked out over them, and I saw the faces of those who had been hurt with only their silenced screams to comfort them. I could see the faces of those who held the whip, not a spark in those optics. I glanced down at the abused Seeker, he had a servo over his abdominal plates, and I knew he was carrying. Definitely his first for he had no other signs of having ever given birth. And this was when I think I really showed who I was and what mountains I would begin to move.

"Look at you!" I gestured to the crowd in general. "This Seeker is being beaten and torn apart before your optics, screaming and helpless, and you _mock_ him? You laugh at his suffering? What has he done? What has any submissive done to deserve being whipped and beaten almost to death?!" I flicked my wings, glaring at all the ones I knew were trineleaders. "You beat and rape your submissives having never felt the sting of the whip yourself. You appoint _yourselves_ judge, jury, and executioner of the convicted on petty crimes from not cleaning properly, not serving you 'correctly' in berth, or for not wanting to simply interface one evening because they're tired. You are not a god over your submissives. Submissives live every orbital cycle in fear, in pain, carrying _your_ sparklings and raising the Seekerlets you _forced_ into their lives by raping them!"

"Oh, Primus, he's going to die…" Thundercracker groaned, wishing to melt into the floor as he stood in the crowd.

"Should we stop him?" Skywarp whispered.

"And be associated with him? I don't even know him."

"Me neither."

"Get down, your brainwashed lunatic!" Someone shouted.

"Someone is just pissed that they got an aft beating before!"

"Always these non-traditionals whining about 'abuse' and 'safe spaces.' It's made up grounder slag!"

"Tie him to the post and whip him!"

"No such thing as 'rape' in trines, dumbaft! You trine, you accept _all_ of it!"

"Someone should rape _you_!"

"He's a prince! Spoiled brat doesn't understand the real world!"

"Someone is desperate for attention!"

"Go get raped!"

"Idiot!"

"Someone needs to beat your aft!"

"Someone's a special snowflake, aren't they?!"

"Get over here and let a _real_ trineleader beat your aft back into place!"

"Go die in a hole!"

"Grounder wannabe!"

I must say, I expected worse.

"This is abuse!" I shouted. "We have been made to believe that we must beat and harm submissives when there's another way! We don't need to be abusive to each other!"

The crowd, at least the trineleaders of it, were getting quite volatile. Thundercracker leaped onto the platform and roughly grabbed my wing, yanking me back.

"I apologize to everyone on behalf of my submissive." He calmly, but firmly called out. "He'll be punished severely for this."

"You're not helping!" I screeched before he roughly clamped a servo over my mouth, silencing me.

"Shut up." He growled in my audio receptor. "I am saving your stupid aft."

With that, he dragged me off the platform and out of the crowd, hurting my wing in the process. Skywarp followed close behind, wings low, not sure what to do or say.

Thundercracker led me a ways off before giving my aft a very hard smack with his servo.

"Ouch!" I yelped, spinning around as I rubbed where he had struck me.

"What were you thinking?!" He roared. "Slaggit, Star, you could have been ripped apart up there!"

"I was thinking of the wrongful slavery of my fellow Seeker and the need to abolish the acceptance of abuse and trineleader supremacy." I flicked my wings.

"Star, I get why you did it, or felt the need to, but you can't just-"

"Stop a sparked Seeker from being whipped to death?"

"He wasn't going to die."

"I wasn't going to die when I drank poison."

He glared at me like he wanted to kill me, that old look of his that always followed a horrible beating. I froze, my optics widening, shrinking back, knowing pain was coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Thundercracker rubbed over his faceplates when he noticed the fear and me beginning to tremble.

"Star… I'm not going to hurt you." He said calmly, trying to sooth me. "I just don't want someone else hurting you."

"He was being flogged and mocked, and no one was helping him." I said softer, feeling my emotions building after my panic started to lessen. "I-I used to be in his position crying a-and begging for help b-but no one ever helped me." And the coolant started to come.

"I know, Star… I know…" Thundercracker vented a sigh. "But if you're going to stop this abuse, we need to approach it from a different angle."

"How?" I wiped at my optics, trying to regain my composure.

"They aren't ready to hear the truth. We need to slowly introduce them to it. Small acceptances of the truth at a time. I didn't accept that I was abusing you for stellar cycles." He took my servos in his. "And some of these guys are a lot worse than I was. We need to be smart about this. Okay?"

I slowly nodded. "How do we begin, then?"

"I don't know… We'll figure that out. Promise." He kissed me on the lip plates.

Well, things took a step backwards when I found myself being summoned to the palace… To see my sire… Because he found out about what I had done. Oh, joy…

"Are you trying to make a fool out of me or just yourself?" Sire demanded as he sat on his thrown, wearing his royal garb, Flare and Turbine standing at attention on either side of him.

I stood on one of the steps of the dais, my trinemates behind me on the floor. "Honestly, I was trying to make a statement about how fragged up the system was." I shrugged.

"By getting involved with another trine, stopping a punishment, then screaming blasphemy at the crowd?"

"Sire, this is-" I flicked my wings, knowing he wouldn't listen, but not willing to let him push me around. "This is _abuse_! The whole trineleader beating and raping their submissives is abuse and must end! It solely exists because-"

"Abuse? Rape?" He interjected. "Living in Iacon surrounded by those soft grounders has slagged you in the helm, Starscream. You're a Seeker, not a kicked turbofox. Act like it."

"Recognizing the injustice of a system is not being 'sensitive.' That Seeker-"

"Was being punished by _his_ trineleader. You have no right nor authority to get involved. If you feel like there's an _actual_ problem you report to me, not go make a complete fool of yourself."

"The problem is people like you who take advantage of smaller, weaker Seekers like me and feel empowered by beating us and raping us all so you can feel better about yourselves." I shouldn't have said that, but I was pissed. I have a bad habit of speaking how I feel and only after it's out realize how much I screwed up.

Skycutter glared at me. He stood up, wings flaring, towering over me. My wings lowered, remembering why my sire was Alpha and had sired over 600 creations. I swallowed, bracing myself, knowing this was a time when sire would harm his own creations.

And he did.

I stumbled back after being slapped across the faceplates, falling off the dais and hitting my helm on the floor. I groaned, the entire left side of my face burning from the strike. My trinemates were too scared to help me up, so instead stepped back, distancing themselves from the person the Alpha was pissed at.

"You are an idiot, Starscream. " Sire growled as he stood at the top of the dais, looking down at me as if I was filth. "Brainwashed, pathetic, and cowardly." He then turned to Thundercracker. "And you have failed as a trineleader. Your submissive is acting up and spreading lies and you do nothing?"

"Um, I-" Thundercracker stuttered, wings lowering instantly, looking away, showing all the submission he could to the Alpha.

"Or maybe you just suck at being Alpha." I growled, sitting up.

That really pissed sire off, and was another thing I never should have said.

"Thundercracker," He barked, causing Thunder to jump. "Punish your submissive before I do." He growled.

"Uh, I-"

"Don't argue with him." I muttered to my mate. I didn't want to be punished, but better Thundercracker deals with me than sire deal with me _and_ Thundercracker.

"Y-yes, sir." Thundercracker quickly said. "I'll take him home and-"

"No, do it here." Sire gestured to a pillar. "Against that."

"I-I don't have anything to punish him with, sir."

"You should be better about keeping such things on you at all times." Skycutter then produced a metal cable from his subspace and tossed it to Thundercracker.

Thunder caught it, his wings slowly raising. I stood up, wings flaring, trying to regain what dignity I could as I marched myself to the selected pillar. The guard who was posted at it, for every pillar had a guard in front of it, stepped aside, giving us space. I placed my servos on it, leaning forward so my aft was the perfect exposed target. Thundercracker was behind me, doubling over the cable.

"How many, sir?" He inquired of my sire.

"You're his trineleader. You tell me." Skycutter replied as he sat back on his throne, his trinemates not moving their bodies, but turning their helms to watch.

Thundercracker turned back to me, vented a sigh, then raised his arm.

"AH!" I jumped, grasping at the pillar, then forcing myself to get back into position.

The blows rained down hard and fast on my poor rear end. He brutally lashed by aft and thighs without pause or any remorse, hitting as hard as he could. I think he was also enjoying it some because he was still pissed at me for what I did. It really hurt, and after forty lashes I started to leak coolant. After eighty I was crying, and after a hundred I was a bawling mess.

I think he gave me close to two hundred. I was crying so hard when the last lash tore across my aft, and then he grabbed me by my wing and yanked me to stand beside him. I rubbed my dented aft, wings low, being submissive. Not just because I needed to act like a submissive to Thundercracker, but also old habits were returning and I felt like I had to.

Thundercracker handed sire the cable before returning to me.

"Don't cry, Starscream." Sire snapped at me. "You're lucky I didn't give you a beating." His wings flared. "I better not hear of you stopping punishments or speaking this brainwashed blasphemy again. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir." I nodded, wiping the coolant away from my optics.

"Get out of my sight." He growled.

Thundercracker turned and led us away, I followed behind to his right. Once we were on the balcony to leave did Thundercracker turn to me.

"I'm sorry." He said softly.

"Not your fault." I grunted. "Stupid traditionals and their ridiculous rules." I stomped to the edge of the balcony, flicking my wings. My trinemates stood behind me, not sure what to do or say. I rolled my optics, so pissed off at my sire. "Let's just go home." I exhaled heavily before jumping off the balcony, it hurting to do so from the beating.

I transformed and flew, my trinemates soon in position behind me. I led them home, done with everyone.

That night I was lying my torso over the berth, peds on the floor, propping my chest up by my elbows. I looked ahead, glaring out the window, panting softly and moaning, but not doing anything else as Thundercracker humped me. He was really into it, enjoying himself as he thrust hard and fast, biting my nape, growling his engine, making animalistic sounds, flicking his wings from stimulation, and kneading his digits into the sides of my body. It hurt still from the aft beating, but that made it more enjoyable. Not that I was too keen for interface. Thundercracker asked if he could, I said yes, and here we were. But, I had more on my mind than lust.

I was so pissed over what I saw. That poor mech being flogged, screaming, helpless as a crowd laughed. I knew traditionalism was bad and was so set in the processors of Seekers, but after being in Iacon for so long… It was more of a wakeup call now back being in the thick of this with a new outlook of the world. With a new and broader sense and understanding of the world, mental health, and abuse. Just seeing reality in a new light. It was… Like crashing into the side of a mountain at Mach 1. And I never felt so… Repulsed before. Just this blind ignorance, the acceptance of horrific abuse, and these submissives who just don't know any better. And it hurt knowing I was once like them. Blind, confused, scared, and having no voice.

I wanted to give them a voice. I wanted them to have optics to see and audio receptors to hear. I knew I had to do something because no one else would or have the brass bearings to. It was up to me to make a change. To tear down those boundaries, make them see, and educate these people on what really was happening.

I was going to make a difference. I was going to save these Seekers, and no one would stop me.

As I lied there with Thundercracker thrusting into me, I made a decision that would start me down the road to my next major life accomplishment. One I never thought I would even consider. Something that I wouldn't realize I needed to do until later, but my entire life was leading up to this point. This night, in the middle of being fragged, I began the journey that would lead to the ultimate goal of any Seeker.

I was on my way to becoming the Alpha.

* * *

 **Some people into BDSM are really into abused butts and showing off bruises, bite marks, etc. I imagine Starscream is as well so likes his aft being all beat up. And the extreme bondage with the ropes, it's like over excessive hog tying and wrapping as much rope around a person as possible, making boobs pressed so they look bigger, pressure on the groin, etc. Just... Google it. It's kind of crazy.**

 **There's a lot of BDSM forums and sites (places I avoid!) that BDSM people congregate to to talk about things to do, get ideas, support, etc. Starscream definitely would be involved in them. and apparently everyone uploads personal videos and pictures to them. I know they exist on tumblr so I stay away! And of course Starscream gets into roleplaying from these sites, from the porn Skywarp watches, and wants lingerie. Starscream TOTALLY can pull off lingerie. We all know this.**

 **And of course TC's fetish is being dominant and rough so tearing off clothing and being aggressive appeases him. And Transformers do have cloth and some form of clothing! In most universes we see them wearing capes, especially with Alpha Trion. And then in the IDW comics the arc "Drift" that's Drift's origin story to becoming an Autobot, we see Drift dressed completely in clothing to disguise himself when he's on an organic world. Then there's Liege Maximo, one of the Thirteen Primes, who has a big ass cape that covers some of his front like Batman's cape. And there's other cases of clothes, jewelry, etc. So, if they have clothes and use them for fashion statements, I think they would have their own version of lingerie, ribbons, and looking sexy for their partners. Even if in the canon world they didn't have sexual intercourse, they probably still do things to make their bodies more pleasing and desirable for their mates, boyfriends, etc.**

 **Being depressed can effect your hygiene. I know in my own experience it makes me shower less. I know... I sound gross. But when you feel so miserable you don't want to ever get out of bed or can't get yourself to do anything, sometimes hygiene suffers. So, Starscream just doesn't feel up to basic tasks as well. And, again, more typical abuser stuff when they control how you clean yourself, how you look, etc. It's things abusers do all the time.  
**

 **And because of the changes Starscream has made and realizing traditionalism is bad, that caused all the babies to not be traditional. And remember earlier in the story when Storm yelled at zephyr for being mad at TC for punishing Starscream? Now he's off marrying a grounder and hating abuse. They changed, they don't want to be part of the problem, so are living a different life than most Seekers.**

 **Also, technically Starscream with all his masters and everything would be a doctor... Dr. Starscream. Or, Dr. Scream, because... He certainly does that when with two particular "patients" of his. ;)**

 **Again with Seeker culture, being a warrior culture, they love decapitated heads, violence, all of that. for those who read _Illicitus_ you should remember a certain scene of Starscream using a decapitated head as a present.**

 **I never planned on writing that beach sex scene because there will be things in Starscream's life he would want to keep between him and his trinemates. Not everything is meant to be shared. Sometimes, he wants some privacy. To keep something special. So, sorry for those who wanted more sexy beach smut. :P**

 **It's canon in the IDW comics that Thundercracker and Skywarp met in the outlier labs since they are both outliers. And being an outlier is super rare since it's a mutation of the spark, so even though they were having babies, it's rare for any or some of them to also be outliers. Thus why only Luna ended up being an outlier. And during this time with the corruption of the Senate and everything, being an outlier meant going to the labs which sucked, especially if you were a lesser built, like a Seeker. And it's also confirmed in the comics, that my headcanon is correct! There was abuse and awful experiments in the outlier labs. IDW and I are so in synced. XD**

 **Those hateful remarks made by the traditional Seekers are actual things said to me and others for being vegan, for being anti-Trump, for pointing out why hitting children is wrong. It's a sick world we live in that obvious abuse and cruelty is accepted by these hateful, cruel people who rather be blind than to accept the truth, go vegan, stop being cruel, stop abusing children, and just stop being idiots. I even have been threatened and attacked on this fic for making it about domestic abuse, talking about rape, and of course my notes where I explain to you guys about life and how this shit reflects the real world. People rather hate and attack than hear the truth, accept it, and change for the better.**

 **Some people do learn the truth differently or in certain increments, like one day you learn abortion is wrong, then that eating animals is wrong, then that being a bully is wrong, etc. So, I'm always educating people to go vegan and stop being abusive for different reasons, such as go vegan for the animals, the planet, your health, and what science says, experts, etc. Some people transition quickly, some baby steps. And sometimes a community is quick to make the good change, some slow. So, Thundercracker was explaining that to Starscream when he said that the traditional Seekers weren't ready to hear his words yet. He needs to approach it slowly. And this fact will play an important role for the rest of the fic.**

 **And sadly, like the real world, people don't want to get involved when they see abuse, a fight, etc. because society has made it seem like you shouldn't be involved. That bad things happen if you get involved, that you should just film it instead to be a hit on youtube. No, people do need to get involved and stop being a witness. And abuse, especially towards children and non-human animals, is ignored the most because the law still views children and non-human animals as "property." So, when you step in to stop abuse, sometimes YOU get in trouble for it, or the law doesn't care. It's awful, cruel, and must end. So much child abuse occurs all because people think, "That's their children and how they parent." No, it's abuse. And we must ALL stand up against any and all abuse we witness no matter the consequences.**

 **"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr.**

 **Speak up, stop abuse, don't be a witness, don't let the law control you just because it's "legal." Just because something is legal doesn't mean it's right. Fight for what IS right.**

 **And Starscream's last comment about how he now sees the world... It's the same when you go vegan. Once you see the truth, the abuse, and know how the world works, you'll never see the world the same way again. Go vegan, see the truth, and make a difference.**

 **Also, I finally got my last Educational Journal solely about veganism up on my deviantART account. Go read it! Just search Ga-Maleven on deviantART and it's the journal titled "Everything About Veganism." Enjoy! :)**


	25. My Trinemates Learn About My Honor

**Chapter 25**

"Is there any hope for me?"

I vented a sigh before rubbing a servo over my faceplates. "Skyfire…" I was so tired of this. "I love you. I do want something with you. But… Things just are not… Now isn't a good time."

"When is? Starscream…" Skyfire grabbed the back of my chair and made it spin around so I would face him. He placed his servos on the arms of my seat, leaning over, his faceplates in mine. I caught his optics glancing to my breastplates. "You're trineleader, you graduated, you have a great job, your creations are all moved out, drama with your trinemates is mostly gone… Now is the time that we can start getting serious about our relationship."

I glanced away. "Sky…" I looked back at him. "I don't think my brothers are ready. It's just that… It has been a while, but Thundercracker still is… partly traditional still. I'm still working on him. And Skywarp just… is a jealous monster so I need to work on him as well. I do love you. I do want to date you. Believe me, I do. But I need to take care of my trine. I can't just start bringing home dates when they aren't ready. Remember that when one Seeker gets an outside mate, that the entire trine also is mated to them. We may join as Conjunx, or just legally mated, but the entire trine bonds and breeds with an outside mate. And I don't think you or them are ready for that."

"I don't want to frag Thundercracker."

"See? And he most certainly doesn't want you near his intimacy. He would be greatly saddened by seeing how big you are and realizing he's not the biggest in that competition."

"How long do you think it will take them until they are ready for us to get serious?" He asked a little frustrated, his optics darting to my codpiece for an astrosecond.

"A while." I grunted, then bit my lower lip plate as I though.

I glanced at the lab we were in, our own personal workplace in this entire structure we operated. This place where I made all the Shanix to provide for my trine, as my trinemates mostly stayed home. I really did become a responsible trineleader. Well, until I did this.

"You know…" I looked up at him. "We know we want to be together. I want to join with you, and you want to join with me."

"Of course."

"And we kind of already fragged a lot once, so we already broke that boundary."

"What are you getting at?"

"I'm saying… Maybe we can start dating. Just without anyone else knowing since… We both know we want to be together. Like, the dating phase is over at this point anyway. Why not just… Be together, but not let anyone know until they are ready?"

"So, you want to like… be engaged in secret?"

I smirked. "Why not?"

"I guess I could do that. But keeping it secret will be hard."

I thought for a moment before smirking. And part of me regrets what I did, because I think this is why I got so bad about letting others touch me. That I was no longer faithful to my trine up till very recently in my life. And I'm ashamed of it now, but never was when I was going behind their backs.

"I'll make it worth it, big guy. Let's be two adolescents in school not telling their creators." I smirked, wings fluttering.

"What? But school is something creators are aware of…" He said slowly, missing my entire point.

I rolled my optics and grabbed his jaw. "You fat idiot… I want you to frag me and not let anyone know you stick it in me."

"Ohhhhhh!" He paused, wings perking. "But, that's cheating on your trine, right?"

"We're going to join anyway, they just don't know it yet."

"I am not sure-"

I shoved at him roughly, flicking my wings. "Listen, fataft," I jabbed a digit at him. "You either wait forever to be with me properly, ask my sire if you can take my servo in holy matrimony, go through that entire affair of a priest and ceremony, in-laws flooding everywhere, and extended family we don't care about, and me crying when the cake isn't the right size, _or_ -" I grabbed his neck and pulled him down so his face was in mine. "You don't wait for us to consummate that night of our joining and we go at it hard, now. Get. Little. Sky. In. Me. Fataft." I growled each word.

He finally got what I meant. "You sure?"

"Positive. Or are you unable to get it up?"

"Oh, it's already up once I see you."

"Creep." I slapped him across the faceplates.

His optics widened, shocked, then they narrowed. "You're so mean." He grabbed me, easily yanking me out of the chair and shoving me onto a desk, clearing everything away quickly.

I snapped at him, already starting to feel myself turning on. I grasped at his faceplates, neck, shoulders, and chest as he started to grab my waist, move my hips, and claw at my codpiece. He knew I liked it rough. It wasn't his thing, but after wanting to be in me for so long and it _finally_ happening, he lost control of himself.

"Ah!" I gasped, lolling my helm back when he penetrated me, already so hard. "Oh, oh, Primus… Oh, yes, yes, _yes_ , YES! Oh, Skyfire, oh, yes, give it to me!" I writhed beneath him, just concentrating on that massive spike inside of me, stretching me apart. My legs hooked onto his hips, he rested his servos on the desk, panting in my faceplates. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close as I hungrily kissed him on the lip plates. Our glossas were soon inside each other's mouths, our wings fluttering madly, and chestplates opening to reveal our bright, pulsating sparks.

It was so heavenly. I love him in me. I love him. And the way he fragged me… It was different from my trinemates. They were rough, fast, and all over the place. But Skyfire… He was more concentrated, more focused on my entire body rather than just my valve. I don't know how else to explain it. It just felt more like he had.. A special love for me. And I quickly remembered why I loved the way he interfaced me so much.

I still don't know why I did this. Why I cheated again when I had told him and myself for so long that I would _never_ cheat on my brothers again. I wasn't in an awful place mentally again. No, the complete opposite. This was the happiest time of my life. Well, not as happy as before I was raped by Brakelight, but pretty close. And maybe it was this happiness that caused me to be unfaithful.

I'll explain why: When I first cheated it was because I felt so unloved, alone, hopeless, and just broken. I _desperately_ needed love, and the emotional love of my friends wasn't enough. I needed _physical_ love. To be held by someone in such a way that I felt like I belonged, that I felt like I wasn't a pile of useless slag. I needed someone who interfaced me because they _had_ to. Not out of lust or because I'm a pretty face and have a nice body. But because they loved me so much they never could get themselves to stop holding me, kissing me, and wanted to be in as much physical contact as they could, and make me feel wonderful. I just needed someone to care about me.

Now, I knew TC and Warp loved me. I was done with drama, pretty much, with them and no more precious sparklings in our care. It was just us, love, and happiness. And I guess I felt like… Because we were doing so well they wouldn't get mad at me. And I also guess that maybe… Maybe I just felt like I could get away with things now, being trineleader, my trinemates not watching me constantly, and being free. I was free. I could do whatever. And maybe being an adulterer was part of that freedom I secretly craved. Maybe it's just part of my nature to be dishonest.

And when I think about it… Now after thousands of vorns later… Part of me… I don't regret being with Skyfire. I don't regret cheating with him. Probably because he actually cares about me, always has loved me, and he interfaced me because he just couldn't get enough of me and showing his love to me. But he's the only person I have this feeling with. I would find myself cheating with many others as I fell from grace, all of them I regret so deeply now and hate myself for it, but with him… No. I still cherish every moment I had with him.

"Argh!" I cried out when we finally overloaded, feeling him fill me with all his mechly fluids of pure bliss. "Slaggit…" I panted, my frame relaxing as the surplus energy passed through me. "Oh, that was… Wonderful." I fluttered my wings as I smiled up at him.

He sheepishly smiled. "It was pretty awesome." He kissed me. "Love you, Star."

"Love you, too, big guy." I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his. "Out." I pushed at his chestplates. "We better get back to work before someone comes knocking on the door."

"Right." He kissed me again before pulling out.

I sat up, closing my chest plates, but leaving my codpiece open. "Sky, make sure to paint yourself down there. Not too many 'bots you know with a red aft."

"I will. Don't worry. Need paint yourself?"

"Nah, I'm always scratched up down there. Those two idiots frag me like six times every orbital cycle. It would be suspicious if I looked nice between the legs."

"Your aft is especially always in a rough shape."

I sheepishly smiled as my wings fluttered. "It's how they show me their love." I finally found a towel in my subspace pocket and started to clean my codpiece. I perked my wings, then fluttered them. "Sky, come here."

"What?" He asked as he was in the midst of cleaning himself.

I slid off the desk, turned around, placed my servos on it, and leaned over so my aft was perfectly positioned for anything to strike it. "Smack it."

"I rather not." He grunted.

"Sky, lovers always hit each other's afts. Just do it. You used to always grab it."

"Grabbing is different from hitting." He said as he did grasp my aft and give it a little shake, holding it tightly.

My wings fluttered. "I want you to smack it. Please?"

"No."

"Do you want to see my valve again?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"If you want to frag me, you need to please me. Now, think of all the times I've pissed you off to the point you wanted to cause physical harm to my being, and channel that into your mighty servo, and hit the sexy, red aft!"

He rolled his optics. "That's too much anger to channel."

"I'm that bad?"

"Oh-ho yes."

"Your face is fat, your aft ginormous, and you smell of pathetic shuttle."

"Your petty insults won't get to me, Seeker." He smirked.

"Nor will your dashing good looks or charm get to me, fatso."

"Don't call me fat. Seriously."

"Fatty."

"Star, I told you many times I don't like it."

"Bigaft."

"Star, it hurts my self esteem. Stop." He vented a sigh.

I knew it bothered him, but I'm an afthelm. "Does your fat aft get stuck in doorways? Do people mistake your aft that you're towing a truck behind you? Does it have its own gravitational pull? Is it its own city-state with its own senate and-"

"Alright!" He shouted. "Fine, you win, miserable cog." He stood behind me, raising his servo.

"I always win." I smiled triumphantly, looking ahead. "AH!" I jumped, wings flicking when he did smack my aft.

"You asked for it." He snapped.

"I did." I rubbed over my aft, the intense pain pulsating from the abused rear. And then I started to feel that sensation again. "Sky."

"What?"

I turned around to face him. "Put me over your knee and give me more of those and I'll let little Skyfire back inside." I fluttered my wings.

He thought for a moment before rolling his optics with a loud vented sigh. "Fine. You convinced me."

I don't think it was that difficult for him.

He sat down on a chair and I quickly got over his lap, making sure my aft was position perfectly for his servo to have optimal striking range. I grabbed his leg, his left servo grasping my waist.

I think he was channeling nearly two vorn's worth of anger and frustration with me, because he hit me pretty hard and a lot. But I loved it. I kicked my legs, clutched his leg, and cried out from each smack, but it only made me want his spike more.

And, Primus, did he give me a lot more spike after my aft beating.

* * *

"Ah! Nrrrgh!" I grit my denta, doing my best to hold still.

"Shhh, no screaming, Screamer." Skywarp giggled, standing in front of me, humping me as his arms were wrapped around my body.

I was blindfolded, standing still, my elbows bent at a 90 degree angle with palms flat towards the ceiling. On my servos, I held two block weights, quite heavy especially after holding them a while. On top of those weights was balanced a large ball. I had to keep my arms perfectly still so the balls wouldn't roll off. But, it was not easy to hold these weights above my helm, so still, when my arms were hurting and hurting more so each passing astrosecond, Skywarp was thrusting into me, and behind me, Thundercracker was beating my aft with an energy tawse.

Why was I in this painful predicament? Because of Skywarp's porn watching, of course. Time to try something new! I hated it. And if one of the balls rolled off, I would find something worse lashed across my sore rear, and more bondage. They even started to threaten to walk me like a cyberdog, on my servos and knees with a collar and leash, out in public. I know some are very turned on by such humiliation, but not this Seeker. If I have to be humiliated to be turned on, put me over your knee in public and smack my aft into oblivion. But walking me like a pet… Nah uh. Don't even try to use that to draw me into any sexual desires.

"Mrrrgh!" I gritted my denta, barely holding myself together, my arms feeling like they would break off any astrosecond.

"Shhh, you're doing well." Skywarp kissed me, never ceasing his thrusting.

Thundercracker paused in his lashing to grab and shake my aft before smacking it with his servo. "This is looking so nice." He commented before lashing me again with the tawse.

"Ah! Nrrrgh, kill me now…" I was reaching the end of my limit.

"Doing alright?" Thundercracker asked.

"I-I can do it." I swallowed, panting.

"Need a break?" Skywarp asked, pausing in his thrusting.

"Arms just hurt a lot." I growled. "Overload already!"

Skywarp giggled, resuming his thrusting.

Thundercracker lashed my aft a few more times before stopping to get the communicator that started to ring. He held it up to his audio receptor before speaking.

"Hey, carrier." He answered with a grin. "Nah, nothing much. Hanging out with my trinemates. You?"

"This is _not_ 'hanging out!' This is sadistic torture you slagging spawn-of-a-"

"Shush!" Skywarp kissed me silent.

"Oh, him and Warp are playing. Just ignore the shouting."

" _Playing_?!"

Thundercracker smacked my aft hard with the tawse before returning his attention to his carrier. "I would love to come by, carrier."

"Don't drag us into this…" I grunted. "I hate my in-laws…"

Thundercracker shot me a glare (I know this because he told me). "Oh, they _both_ would love to come as well."

"Cum? I am working on that!" Skywarp giggled manically.

"Vector Sigma…" I groaned.

"Is sire okay with it? No, I'm bringing Starscream…. He just has to deal with it. I am mated to Starscream, I have five creations with him, and he's not going anywhere. If sire wants me to visit him, he needs to accept the mech I'm eternally bonded to. _Both_ of them." He paused. "Yeah, well, I'm not my brothers. I really don't care if I trined 'lesser' Seekers in sire's optics. I trined the two greatest mechs ever, I love them, and I will frag them in front of him if he has an issue."

"On his berth!" Skywarp piped up.

"Ew… Not where he frags my carrier and uncle…" Thundercracker made a face. "Nothing, carrier. Talking to Warp." He paused. "We can come by tomorrow."

"Not enough time for me to prepare for a flood of stupidity, bigotry, and dumbaft slag that will be regurgitated from his whore mouth." I snapped.

"Starscream is _especially_ excited to come over." Thundercracker said it in such a mocking way.

"Starscream rather eat his own waste." I sarcastically remarked right back at him.

"Starscream says he'll even make a cake."

"Starscream will straight up take a _dump_ in that cake and feed it to Steelwing." I exclaimed.

"Starscream is exuberant with his abundant joy and eagerness to see you guys."

"Starscream will murder a certain brain dead, abusive fragger."

"Yes, he will be on his BEST BEHAVIOR."

I made a shocked gasp. "I rather him frag me than behave for him!"

"I'm not talking to him… Okay, I am. He's being nice about it."

"I want his helm on a spike…" I growled.

"No, he _will_ behave or else I'll punish him. Don't worry about anything going wrong. In fact, I'll give him a reassurance beating right now."

"Abuser!"

"Mhmm, love you too, carrier. Bye." He hung up, than lashed my aft as hard as he could.

"AH!" I jumped, dropping the weights and balls. Skywarp never ceased thrusting into me.

"You're going to behave tomorrow." Thundercracker snapped at me.

"Or what? You're going to turn me over your knee?" I snapped right back at him.

"I mean it, Starscream. I'm not the biggest fan of my sire myself, but I love my carrier and uncle and don't need you making it hard for me to see them. Trineleader or not, if you make me get banned from seeing them, I will beat you until there's nothing left."

"I don't know what you're saying. "I'm a perfect, innocent angel." I fluttered my wings, smiling so innocently.

"Warp get out of him."

Skywarp quickly did so, and I found myself thrown over the back of the couch. Thundercracker got into me quickly and started to roughly frag me, hurting me some. He grabbed a cable, forced it into my mouth, holding the ends like reins, and pulled back hard. I bit down, trying to keep it from hurting my mouth pistons or hydraulics. He leaned over me, pressing his chest against my back, my helm being forced up by the cable.

"Behave." He growled in my audio receptor.

I just growled and snapped, my wings flaring, not able to do much else with him in me. He fragged me quite harshly, upset at my behavior. Despite being so dominant over me and aggressive, he still didn't try to subvert me or dominate me. More of a reminder of just how large and powerful he was, and why I should behave.

Not that large, powerful mechs would ever get me to behave in my life! Oh, my history with them is always rebellious. Thundercracker, Skyfire, Steelwing, Skycutter, that idiot grounder I'll be dealing with before too long… Yeah, big, powerful intimidating mechs just make me want to misbehave and not listen to them.

Which is why little, petite, weak, skinny, pathetic me is such a damn idiot…

The rest of the evening went alright. No more rough interface after Thundercracker finished with me, and we recharged together as always without any problem. Things started to get tense when we headed to Steelwing's place the next orbital cycle. Despite being trineleader, I got a stern lecture on the balcony just before Thundercracker rung the door chime. I let it slide. His family, and he was the one shoving a metal pipe up his aft…

"Hey, Thunder!" Gale answered the door, wings fluttering.

"Hey, Uncle Gale." Thundercracker hugged him, smiling back.

"Hello, Starscream, Skywarp." Gale greeted us warmly.

"Hiiiiiiii!" Skywarp waved, giggling.

"Hi." I grunted. I like Gale, I do. I just was in a very foul mood this orbital cycle.

Thundercracker led us inside, and Borealis quickly came running over.

"My sparkling is here!" She hugged him, kissing her son on the cheekplates. "And you keep getting so handsome." She fluttered her wings, smiling at him as only a carrier could at her creation.

"Hey, carrier." Thundercracker nuzzled his olfactory sensor with hers. "Starscream has something for you."

"What does my other son have for his carrier?" She came over and hugged me. Why was she always so damn happy when she lived with such a miserable aft?

I hugged her back. "I have something that I labored over with threat of violence to my being." I smirked so innocently, sarcastically, darting a glare at that blue idiot I am a mated for life to.

"What?"

I unsubspaced a cake and held it to her. "I did not put any of my waste in it, promise. Your son saw to it."

She gave me a confused look before taking it. "Thank you, sweetspark. Why don't you come with me to get some energon for the trineleaders?"

"Not to be disrespectful, carrier, but trineleaders can get their own energon." I took her servo. "We work hard enough, so let us sit first and they can see to their own desires." I led her to the table.

"Um," She gave me a puzzled look. "I-I'm not sure if I-"

"Trust me, carrier. Steelwing has two fully functioning legs and enough brain power to command them. He will be fine." I pulled a chair out for her.

She was getting uncomfortable, but sat down anyway, her wings lowering. Thundercracker raised an optical ridge, watching me closely. He did not trust me, and I'm glad he didn't. I don't trust myself.

"I thought I heard a rat." Steelwing grunted as he entered the room, wings held high, optics narrowed, looking especially narcissistic and hateful this orbital cycle. He made his way to the table, thruster heels clacking loudly in the suddenly silent room.

"Hello, sire." Thundercracker inclined his helm. "Winds treat you well?"

"They could blow in my direction more." He sat at the head of the table, not bothering to hug his own son. "Where is the engex?"

"I'll get it." Borealis started to get up, but I placed a servo on her shoulder.

"No, carrier, allow a younger body." I smiled, then started to go to the back room.

"I do not want you touching my energon, whore! You'll only put your waste in it." Steelwing barked.

I spun around to face him. "Well, I was, but only because you so eagerly drank it the last time, you kinky glitch."

Steelwing's engine growled. "Hasn't been here a klik and he's already starting trouble."

"Starscream, sit down." Thundercracker snapped, his denta gritted, angry and embarrassed with me.

I wanted to say something back, but bit my glossa. We still were keeping it secret I was trineleader. So, I obediently approached me trineleader, turned around, and leaned forward some. He smacked my aft hard with his servo, but I didn't cry out. I pulled up a chair and sat down, glancing at Steelwing. I was well trained, and he should be aware of that.

Gale walked off to get the engex, tying to avoid the drama. Thundercracker sat beside me, and Skywarp on the other side of him. I was to Thunder's right, which showed I was the second-in-command of the trine, rather than Skywarp. Steelwing had not seen this before.

"Shouldn't you sit on the other side?" He questioned.

I perked my wings, not sure what he meant at first, but then quickly got it. "So long as I behave I may sit on this side of my trineleader." I replied.

Steelwing raised an optical ridge, and I cuddled against Thundercracker, acting submissive to my trinemate. Thundercracker kissed me on the lip plates, then growled quietly in my audio receptor so only I could hear.

"Please, behave. Trineleader or not, I will lock you outside of the apartment if you cause a scene."

I glared at him before whispering back. "If you're going to punish me, put me over your knee then frag me senseless while calling me 'slut.'"

He rolled his optics. "Fine, act up, and I will beat the slag out of your aft and not interface you. I'll make you suffer, and I know you'll want my spike in you, but I won't give it to you. I'll beat you, I'll make your cry and leave you wet, but I'll frag Skywarp instead and you will just have to watch. In pain, in tears, and craving what only I can give you."

My optics widened some, then narrowed. "You are a cold sparked monster. You better give me that spike. It's the only reason I like you."

"Shut your mouth or I will shove my spike in it." He snapped.

"I'll bite it." I flicked my wings.

"You will get punched if you bite me."

"And you will get no interface from me for a stellar cycle."

"Go ahead. I have Skywarp to stick it in."

"I will take the right to frag him away from you."

"I will murder you, cut you up into pieces, and dispose of your remains across Cybertron so the police will never find you."

"But will you frag my body before cutting it up?"

'Ew" He shoved me away, and I smirked.

"Everything alright?" Steelwing inquired as Gale served him his energon.

"Yes, just reminding Starscream his manners." Thundercracker grunted, taking the glass of energon that Gale handed him.

I made a face, but kept my mouth shut. I leaned against Thundercracker, resting my cheekplates against his upper arm, behaving like a good trinemate does. Skywarp soon was leaning against Thundercracker's other arm. He got bored easily, but he was willing to behave so Thundercracker could visit his creators. I wasn't…

They talked and were so cheery and merry and all that… joyous slag. Steelwing actually started to laugh and be nice to his son. Like an actual sire. I remained silent, I listened, I rolled my optics, and drank energon. It was like this for over a cycle before things went south.

"I'm going to get some sticks." Borealis said as she started to stand.

"Allow me, carrier." I replied, getting up. "You stay and relax."

"Oh, no need to, dear." Borealis gave me a dismissive wave.

"I insist." I started to turn to walk away, when Steelwing spoke, his optics studying my now visible backside.

"Still beating him a lot, I see." He commented. "When are you just going to give up on training him and get a new trinemate?"

I spun around, ready to say something, but Thundercracker spoke instead.

"He is trained, sire. He's been behaving better than ever. Not perfect, but better than he used to be."

"So, why all the damage to his aft and where you've been chaining him?" Steelwing gestured to me.

I glanced down, my aft still damaged from the beating I got yesterday, and wrists and arms dented from the tight chains I had been tied with the other orbital cycle. I certainly looked like I was being abused. Well, I was… Kinky abuse.

"We've been… Exploring sexual pleasures." Thundercracker said slowly.

"I'm sorry?"

Thundercracker set down his glass, a digit tracing the brim of it. "For a while now… Like… shortly after we had Starlight my trine and I… Made some changes to better explore ourselves and each other. _Particularly_ in the berthroom."

Borealis returned with energon sticks, having left despite me telling her not to. She handed some to her trineleader first before sitting down. Steelwing bit one, eyeing his son.

"I am not sure I follow…" He said slowly.

"My trinemates and I have been… having _non-traditional_ bonding sessions."

"Non-traditional? Like… Oral?"

"Some… But mostly…" Thundercracker paused. "You've never watched porn, have you?"

"Absolutely not. It's vile and unseemly." Steelwing grunted. I think Skywarp felt offended.

"Well… You know of kinks, right?"

"Hmm?"

"Fetishes."

"Oh, yes. What about them?"

"Um…" Thundercracker scratched his nape, growing so uncomfortable that he had to explain this to his own sire. "Well, there's a lot of different fetishes and like everyone has one or more. Um… You have one, carrier does, Gale does, everyone does. Just some are more common than others. And… Well, there's one that's quite common and practiced a lot from Seekers, grounders, everyone. And… We kind of… Found ourselves getting involved in it and… Enjoying it."

"And this fetish is…?" Steelwing prodded.

"BDSM."

"What's that?"

"Bondage, Discipline, Sadomachochism."

"Hmm?"

"Um…" Thundercracker rubbed over his faceplates, his faceplates heating up. "So… Bondage is… y-you tie up a person, right?"

"Yes…"

"And discipline is punishment…"

"Go on…"

"And sadomachochism is… Sadism and masochism is.. Well, sadism is enjoying harming others or humiliating them, usually for sexual gratification, and masochism is enjoying _being_ hurt or humiliated for sexual pleasures."

"So, you're saying..?"

"I'm saying that, um, w-we, uh-"

"Oh, for the love of-" I rolled my optics. "Your son ties me down, gags me, whips my aft with a cable, then makes me suck him as I wear a collar and chain. Then he frags the slag out of my beaten aft, getting hard off making me cry, and I get wet off of being made to cry. Primus, just tell him it straight. He's not a slagging virgin!"

"Ugh.." Thundercracker moaned, rubbing his faceplates, wishing I would act… Not like myself.

"I didn't need to know _that_ much." Steelwing snapped at me.

"I shouldn't have to explain it to you. It's BDSM. Who doesn't know about it?"

"Starscream, sit down." Thundercracker snapped.

I glared at him, then did so, behaving. I hate behaving.

"Seems like he needs more punishment for his behavior out of the berthroom than in it." Steelwing grunted.

"He only acts up when you're around." Thundercracker pointed out.

"Then why did he frag that shuttle? I wasn't around then." Steelwing sipped his energon.

"Sire…"

"I'm glad you stopped breeding these two. A brat and a bastard are not worthy of being carriers. You should be putting your coding into Seekers who are." Steelwing just had to continue once he got started.

"They are more than worthy, sire." Thundercracker growled, his wings hiking and optics narrowing. "My creations are all healthy, strong, and are having their own families."

"They both need to see a doctor about losing weight. You can tell they have been bred several times." He grumbled.

I looked down, feeling upset now. I did have some… unnecessary plating on my abdominal region due to my five carryings, and it did bother me how much more noticeable it had become after Starlight was born. I wanted it gone, but that costs a lot, so I was stuck with it. But, Thundercracker kept telling me I was beautiful regardless, and loved me despite physical blemishes. And that did make me feel better about myself. Until afts like Steelwing had to point it out. Skywarp also had extra plating now since he had five as well, and he doesn't handle insults as well as I do. I glanced over and saw some coolant pooling in his optics. He had been in the same boat as me with wanting it gone and to look sleek again. And Skywarp grew up hearing constant insults about how he looked, I didn't, so I was less effected by the insults. Still hurt, but not as much as it hurt him.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Do not insult my trinemates." He snapped. "They had five sparklings each. Their bodies went through a lot for each of those carryings. They're still beautiful and are _mine_."

"I had these two get fixed up once I stopped breeding them." Steelwing gestured to his trinemates, ignoring Thundercracker's comment. "They look good again."

"Why do you always have to attack my trinemates?"

"Not attacking, just commenting."

"They're mine and I love them. Leave them alone."

"Make them behave. Maybe if you actually tried you could get this one to stop whoring himself. He's probably fragging that shuttle again."

"He would never cheat on me. That was a one time mistake."

I swallowed, but stayed silent, choosing to lean against Thundercracker again.

"Once an adulterer, always. Thunder, I love you, but you trined two troublemakers who shouldn't have been trined, much less bred. All they do is act up, cause problems, and have ruined your life. You were thrown in prison because of them, you are constantly dealing with their bad behavior, the one is so unfit for being a carrier he had a sparkling die in him." Skywarp bit his lower lip plate at that, remembering his sparkling who didn't make it. And the coolant started to leak out. "And his eldest ended up joining with a grounder and breeding her. And this one," He pointed at me. "Only ever causes problems, cheats on you, his eldest is pariah who will never trine, and he does Syk. Probably one or more of his creations aren't even yours. They are horrible trinemates, worse for breeding, and only exist to cause trouble. You should of let this one die when he cowardly attempted suicide."

Thundercracker glared at his sire. "Don't you _ever_ call him a coward for that." He growled.

"Suicide is what cowards do. _Real_ Seekers face their challenges helm first. Not use death as an escape."

"Suicide is not cowardly. It's-"

"Selfish and cowardly. That's all it is. And you shouldn't be trined to a coward. Get rid of him, get a _real_ Seeker, one that can fight and think, and have a normal trine."

Thundercracker was about to say something, but I spoke. And this carrier was going to defend his daughters. This trined Seeker was going to defend the mechs he was bonded to for life. This Seeker, _had_ _it_ with the verbal abuse from this miserable, bullying cog.

"You want to know something?" I snapped at him, and surprisingly Thundercracker didn't attempt to stop me. "You want to know what this 'coward' did? You want to know how this trine is _actually_ doing? Let me tell you." I mockingly smirked. "This 'coward,'" I pointed to myself. "Is the _trineleader_ of this trine!"

Steelwing gave me a look like I was an idiot. "Thundercracker, control your submissive." He ordered.

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "I _am_ the submissive."

I stood up, leaning over the table towards Steelwing. "I was sparked with Starlight when I decided I had enough of the way things were and took on your son. I _defeated_ Thundercracker in a fair fight, servo-to-servo combat. I dominated the _slag_ out of him when I took him down! He has been my submissive for over a _vorn_! Mine! And I have been dominant over Skywarp ever since Thundercracker was in prison. This is my trine. And I will not let _anyone_ , especially _you_ , insult it." I flicked my wings, engine growling.

"You can't convince me that scrawny, weak, pathetic Starscream defeated my son who is larger, and stronger than you." Steelwing said it like I was an utter idiot.

"Don't believe it then. It doesn't change the fact that I am now his trineleader. Oh, and, Strikeblade and Windspeed… I sired them, not Thundercracker. And I have your son trained better than any cyberdog. In and _out_ of the berthroom."

Thundercracker made a coughing, choking sound, looking like he wanted to die. Skywarp had stopped crying, his wings perking as he watched me. Steelwing was not amused.

"This isn't a very good prank." He grunted.

"Sire, Starscream is the trineleader." Thundercracker grunted. "He beat me in a fair fight. He won. He dominated me. And I haven't challenged him. I'm his submissive, and I'm fine with it. He's doing fine as trineleader." He paused. "And I _am_ well trained."

"Submissive? Completely submissive to _this_ weakling?" He gestured at me.

"Oh, he's still dominant in berth where it counts." I smirked, and Thundercracker couldn't help but smile at that.

"I didn't need to know that." Steelwing flicked his wings at me, giving me a look that I get a lot of, even to this orbital cycle. That look of being told too much information on a topic that you most certainly did not want to be informed about. I get those looks far more than the lustful ones at my aft… He turned back to his son. "If he is trineleader, why have you not challenged him? Why let him run your trine into the ground?"

"He hasn't run us into the ground. He's doing well. I have not been able to get a job since prison. No one will hire a convict. Starscream has provided for the trine and our creations, while also going to school. Which he graduated from with highest honors. Sixteen masters. No dumb whore could do that." He gave his sire a hard glare.

"He's still a whore despite whatever education he got from grounders." He flared his wings. "Why have you not challenged him?"

"Because he's doing fine."

"If it's about the employment, you were trineleader while he was working. Why not stay trineleader and have him work if you were so unable to get a job?"

"Because… He's been great as a trineleader."

"You're avoiding my question: Why. Haven't. You. Challenged. Him? Steelwing growled out.

"Because I didn't want to be trineleader anymore!" Thundercracker shouted in frustration.

My optics widened, shocked by that admission. I had been wondering forever why he never challenged me or tried to dominate me, and finally I was hearing why. Steelwing was not pleased by it.

"Why don't you want to be trineleader?" Steelwing demanded, glaring at his son.

"Because…" Thundercracker rubbed his optics, looking down before speaking. "I wasn't good at it. I made a terrible mistake and I've hated myself for it for so long. I wasn't able to forgive myself until Starscream forgave me for everything I had done to him. I just…" He swallowed, and coolant started to fill his optics as his mind returned to that night. "W-when Star attempted suicide… He almost died because of me. H-he tried to kill himself to escape from me. A-and I… I haven't been the same since then. And I hated being trineleader ever since. I didn't want that responsibility anymore. But I continued because I didn't know any better. I-I thought I was stuck being trineleader and having to hurt my trinemates because that's all I had ever been told and led to believe. I didn't know anything else. And I hated it. I hate everything I did to my brothers." He paused to swallow, taking a moment to regain control of himself. "I am bonded to them for life, and I couldn't continue hurting them for eternity." He turned to his sire. "I made a vow to them to protect and care for them, and when I was trineleader I kept breaking that vow. But, now as a submissive I'm fulfilling it fully. And the trine has finally healed, and we're happy, and I don't hate myself anymore. I can finally just… Be myself." He took my servo in his. "And Starscream is an amazing trineleader. He's better at it than I ever was."

I smiled sheepishly, my wings giving a light flutter. "Aw…"

Thundercracker faintly smiled at me as he continued. "Starscream has initiative, he's very responsible, patient, smart, compassionate, and has what it takes to lead. He could lead a lot more than just a trine. And he has far better credentials than I do. In and out of the berth." He lifted my servo and kissed the knuckles, winking at me.

Damn, I sure know how to pick 'em. Someone get me a room with this mech and let him do _whatever_ he pleases with my body. I am his _forever_!

Steelwing was not amused. He flicked his wings, elbows resting on the table, digits laced together, pressed against his lip plates, and optics narrowed. "I had high hopes for you, Thundercracker. You were always my special son, with your outlier ability. I thought for sure you would achieve something great because of it. But, seems I was mistaken. You first showed your incompetence by trining that bastard you met at the outlier lab, which you foolishly let yourself be captured and thrown into. Not only is he a bastard, but he's a complete idiot who can't even tell his helm from his aft!" Skywarp's wings lowered at that. "Then, when you finally started to get your act together and went to the War Academy you find this whore and trined him, despite me warning you what trouble the Alpha's spawns are. Royal brats don't know how to do anything other than live in luxury and whine. And you bred with both of these mistakes and created Seekers who betray their own by breeding with grounders and slagging on tradition. And now, you let this miserable, whoring, pathetic glitch defeat you in combat, dominate you, and lead you like you're some weak cog." He flicked his wings. "You are nothing but a disappointment and I am ashamed to ever have had called you 'son.' Maybe if you hadn't trined such useless scrap piles as this whore and bastard you might actually be a real Seeker. Disgusting and embarrassing." He grunted in revulsion.

Thundercracker flicked his wings, optics filled with such hatred I had never seen before. And I was scared. I lowered my wings, part of me feeling like I was back being his submissive about to get a beating, and the other part feeling like… I would actually witness Thundercracker murdering someone. I wanted to hug him and he hold me, protecting me from whatever had made him so angry, but I was too scared to touch him.

"I'm 'pathetic' for loving the best trinemates in the world?" Thundercracker growled his engine, snorting out steam. "I'm 'weak' for being upset that my mate tried to _kill_ himself?" He growled with gritted denta. "What would you do if carrier committed suicide? How would you feel if she attempted it o-or succeeded?!" He roared, gesturing at Borealis who had coolant leaking down her cheekplates, hugging Gale.

That cold, sparkless gaze of Steelwing's turned onto his son. "If she attempted suicide I would flog her than kill her myself. If she was successful… Time for a new mate. Either way, she would be a coward and not worth dealing with, much less breeding. And cowards only deserve death.

I wouldn't say Thundercracker was slow, but he wasn't the fastest Seeker. But in this instance… I had never seen someone leap out of their chair and punch their sire so fast or so hard.

Steelwing fell back, his chair collapsing on the ground. He didn't have time to figure out what had happened before Thundercracker was upon him, punching him ruthlessly in the faceplates and tearing at his plating. Steelwing fought back, striking his son and trying to get him off.

Borealis was screaming, and Gale was holding her, the two scared to get involved. Fear created because submissives shouldn't interfere with trineleader business. Or fights.

I was not afraid. I was shocked at first and forgot how cycling air worked or how to get my HUD to stop screaming danger at me, but I quickly snapped out of it. My Seeker programming kicked in instantly, and I rushed in. Not to stop the fight, no. I still remember a certain "training" session from a certain "Steelwing" which still gives me panic attacks and nightmares to this orbital cycle. And I wanted revenge.

I started to punch and tear at him, and I tasted energon. Not mine. But his as some splattered in my mouth and all over my faceplates. He managed to punch me, tear at my plating, and finally get to his peds. We were activating our thrusters, tearing at each other, engines growling, snarling, biting, unleashing only the fury of murderous Seekers could.

Skywarp was soon involved, the trine instinct now driving him. I wasn't sure who tore an arm off first, but Skycutter suddenly was missing one of those, and I know I got half a leg ripped off at the knee, but someone tore his wing in half. Everything was so slippery in his and our energon.

I felt pain from behind, and before I knew it I was thrown onto the table, Gale on top of me, tearing at me, his need to protect his trineleader taking over him. I grabbed his chestplates and tore them, trying to reach his organs. He smashed my helm into the table repeatedly, then punched my cockpit hard enough to break it. I felt him tearing into me, pulling out wires, and I desperately tried to get to his wires. I screamed when he yanked out a handful of my wires and I think he had part of my engine. It fragging hurt. My HUD was flashing, and I was desperate to get him off me.

There was a flash of purple and Skywarp punched Gale off me. I scrambled away, falling off the table, slipping in energon, gasping and coughing up energon and oil. I shrieked when my wing was grabbed and I was swung into the wall. I was thrown down, then felt someone pressing their ped against my back just before I felt the worst pain coming from my back. I shrieked and desperately tried to get away, listening to the tearing of metal, ripping of wires, and high pitched whines of hydraulics being bent in ways they shouldn't. Then I felt less pain, and lighter. I saw my wing thrown down in front of me, taking me a moment to realize that I had just had a wing torn off my body.

I felt myself being lifted up my the shoulders some before something wrapped around my neck. I felt myself being strangled as my attacker pressed down on me. And of course I saw Brakelight, feeling as if this was him attacking me, and I started to panic, freezing up, and coolant pouring from my optics from the fear.

"STOP IT! STOP!" Borealis shrieked desperately. "PLEASE, _STOP_!"

I felt the thing around my neck loosening, then I was able to get my attacker off me and scramble to my peds, almost falling as I slipped through a puddle of energon. I backed away, seeing Gale there holding a whip he had been using to strangle me with. The floor was purple with energon, and much of it coming from Steelwing, who was lying on the floor missing half a leg, both his wings, an arm, and much of his front plating. One optic was ripped out, half of his jaw gone with his glossa hanging out, and his shoulder vents non-existent. He was coated in energon, but still online, engine growling, but gurgling, and coughing up energon.

Thundercracker was missing half an arm, half of his face, his glossa, a wing, most of one leg, a shoulder vent, much of the plating on his chest, and wires pulled out from his shattered cockpit. His helm was cocked to the side, a neck hydraulic torn out, making him unable to lift his helm up.

Skywarp had plates torn off and part of his helm missing. His olfactory sensor was no more, and there was a gaping hole in his cheekplates that allowed the inside of his mouth to be seen and his denta. His wings were twisted and bent, and his left arm was hanging by wires from his shoulder.

Gale had his chestplates torn apart, faceplates badly damaged, and wings bent.

I had a broken cockpit, wires hanging out, a wing missing, my faceplates are damaged, and chestplates all ripped up.

Borealis was not damaged, having not entered the fight, but she was a bawling mess. I was on an energy boost and seeing my damaged trinemates from combat… I wanted them to frag me…

Borealis was beside her trineleader the moment the fighting ceased, crying as she started to stop the leaking. Gale hesitated, then went into the other room to get a med kit. Thundercracker lowered his remaining wing, then got down on the floor beside his sire and did his best to try and help. Gale returned with the med kit, and the three worked on fixing Steelwing enough so he could travel to the hospital. I hung back, wishing they would leave him to die.

"Get… Out… Of… My… Home…" Steelwing managed to say slowly, his vocalizer spazzing with static, sounding weird with his lack of a jaw.

"'Ow 'bout I get you out of here and to a hospita-uh." Thundercracker said, unable to make much sense without his glossa and half his mouth missing.

"You are… No longer… Welcomed… Here…"

"I never was…" Thundercracker growled.

I hate Steelwing, but I know Thundercracker still loved him. And he especially loved his carrier. I vented a sigh, then snapped my digits. My trinemates quickly turned to look at me, attentive to what I was about to command of them.

"Skywarp, teleport us all to the hospital. The both of you… Grab the severed limbs." I approached Steelwing as my trinemates went to work picking up body parts. "You may be pissed at me, but don't you dare separate Thundercracker from his carrier. I'll pay for the hospital bill. All of it. And I will never return here or be in your presence again. Just allow Thundercracker to still see his carrier." I paused, knowing that wouldn't be enough for him. I had to give him more of what _he_ wanted because he's that kind of aft. "And if I do grace your presence, I will submit to punishment if I disobey your rules or disrespect you in your home. Deal?"

He just glared at me, but seeing how he wasn't telling me to die or anything, I believed that meant he accepted.

My trinemates returned to me, and Skywarp quickly teleported us to the hospital. The staff were not pleased to see a group of badly damaged Seekers with quite a few limbs being handed to them. But, working in a hospital in Vos meant this was the type of slag you signed up for.

They took Steelwing and his trine to another part of the hospital, and my trine to our own room. We didn't see Steelwing's trine for the rest of the orbital cycle. The doctor and nurses got us fixed up quickly, some energon pumped in us, slapped us with the bill, then sent us on our way. I felt pretty good about how that visit went. Thundercracker didn't say anything for the entire flight home. I thought he might be angry at me or feeling like he lost his right to see his carrier. But when we got home the first thing he did was slam me against the wall, get my legs onto his hips, and got inside of me. That fight made him an absolute beast, so hard and desperate to relieve himself inside of me.

I loved it. I needed it. Just thinking about that fight, the ferocity of my trinemates, all the energon, the sounds of metal tearing and energon splattering… I was so wet down there. I couldn't stop kissing him, my arms wrapped around his helm, caressing those smooth, new faceplates of his. I was moaning loudly, trying to get him in deeper by tightening my legs around his hips. I didn't want him to stop, ever.

I found myself slammed onto the berth, not remembering him carrying me there. He was on me, thrusting savagely into me. Oh, it was heavenly. Skywarp was there, his servos over my frame, ravaging my lip plates with hungry kisses, his glossa in my mouth. I felt Thundercracker overload in me, and soon had Skywarp in me, and Thundercracker in him. I overloaded, clinging to Skywarp as he humped me like a possessed, perverted tentacle monster, that stupid rape face of his plastered on his visage, his glossa sticking out the corner of his mouth. Primus, he's so creepy doing that. Why did it make me love him more?

I don't know how many times they overloaded into me, each other, before I found myself in the middle, Skywarp on the berth facing me, Thundercracker behind me, pinning me down on top of Skywarp. The two biting my neck cables, pulling my plating to be as close to me as possible, absolutely ravaging my body with their possessive servos groping me, sending electrical shocks into my transformation seams, and holding me close. My mouth unable to escape Skywarp's passionate kisses, nipping me, his glossa inside my mouth, trying to go as deep as possible, fighting with my glossa. Thundercracker bit my nape possessively, growling, snarling, his arms holding my waist so tight I felt like I would pop in half. I just thrust into Skywarp. That's all I could get myself to do as they took control over me, owned me, made me their plaything.

And I loved all of it. I loved not having control of my body. I belonged to them, and they could do whatever they wanted to me. Call me their interface slave, I didn't care anymore. So long as they were the ones touching me, I would allow anything to be done to me. Minus… a select few kinks… I do have _some_ respect for my sanity and well-being…

I eventually found myself snuggled between my mates, overheated, exhausted, and so beyond satisfied. I snuggled into Skywarp's chassis, his brow pressed against mine as he hugged me lovingly. Thundercracker was behind me, his strong arms wrapped around my waist, possessively holding me close to him. One of his legs was wrapped over mine, his chin resting on the top of my help, and his codpiece pressed against my aft, probably so when he got hard in the morning he would have his target straight ahead.

I faintly smiled, feeling so safe and loved with these two. So thankful that my abuser was one of the very few who changed their ways and became better, not worse. I couldn't imagine my life without these two, or the love and joy they brought to my life every orbital cycle. Not just with the interface, but simply being there, loving me, accepting me, and never betraying me. They are the absolute best, and despite some fights and arguments we had and will have, I will always love and cherish these two morons.

"Love you" I said softly.

"Love you, too, Scree." Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates.

"Love you both." Thundercracker said, not moving, but I heard his engine purr a little.

I love my trinemates.

* * *

"Hey, fatso."

Skyfire vented a sigh. "Please, don't comment about my weight."

"Can I comment about this weight?" I patted his aft then groped his codpiece.

"Stop." He paused. "The hell are you wearing?"

"Huh? Oh, this." I tugged at the cyberdog collar I was wearing around my neck, the ID tags jingling. "Thundercracker told me I wasn't allowed to leave home without it. In case I got lost." I nodded sagely with my optics offline.

Skyfire raised an optical ridge, then rolled his optics. "Please, tell me you're not getting involved in the whole… pet kink thing."

"I'm already his pet." I giggled with a wing flutter.

"Ew."

"Read my tags!" I bounced on my peds.

"Do I dare?"

"Just do it, you oversized combustion engine."

"That made so sense." He got down on one knee and held the ID tags to examine. He rolled his optics once reading them. "That's disgusting."

"So is your _face_!"

He stood up and returned to his work. "No one better see you in that."

"People wear collars all the time, Sky."

"Yeah, they're called freaks.'"

"This sexy carrier is not 'freak.' I'm a CILF."

"Ewwwwwwwww!"

"Says the one who fragged me only when I've been a carrier." I sat on a chair and spun around in it. "CILF fragger! Whoo! We have stud! Rawr!"

"Are you alright?"

"I got some morning interface and cake. I'm terr- _iffic_!" I kept spinning around.

"Are you going to work?"

"When I feel like it."

"You're going to throw off your equilibrium stabilizer."

"You sound like a carrier." I kept spinning, looking down at my ID tags. I loved them. One read "This Glitch is Fragging Lost!" Another read, "Return to Owner. This Slave Escaped and Requires An Aft Beating." And my favorite, "Property of Seeker Thundercracker. Slave Requires Frequent Aft Beatings and Interface From Its Master." And I even had one that had TC's commlink frequency, and one from Skywarp which read, "Return the Aft if Nothing Else."

"Don't act like a sparkling, then."

I looked up at him, turning my helm to focus best I could on him as I kept spinning. "You ever imagined yourself being a carrier?"

"I could not handle the pain. I have respect for who can, and go through it multiple times."

"Awwwww! You respect me." I giggled, still spinning. "What about being a sire?"

"I mean… One orbital cycle I would like to have a sparkling or two… Maybe three." He sheepishly smiled, looking down at his work.

"With?"

He rolled his optics, still smiling. "With you."

"Awwwww! He wants to have creations with the pet CILF!"

"Ew…"

"I have my leash if you want to walk me." I held it up.

"Okay, stop with the kink stuff."

"Not fragging so not a kink."

"Then what is it?"

"Thundercracker has possession issues. It was either this collar or he write all over my wings and aft who I belong to. He also told me he would write his designation on my spark casing like what Conjunx Endura do."

"Trines don't do that?"

"Nah… It's a grounder thing that just became a Conjunx Endura thing. Seekers never embraced it. We just hump each other in public to show who belongs to whom."

"Subtle."

I giggled. "I prefer our way."

"I'm sure you do…" He watched me for a moment before speaking. "Come here."

"No!" I snickered, giving the floor an extra hard kick to keep me spinning.

"Now, Starscream." He patted his lap, knowing how to draw me in.

I perked my wings, still spinning. "Sitting or lying over?"

"Whatever gets you here."

I stopped my chair, my equilibrium stabilizer dizzy as it tried to settle back to normal. My chair had stopped so it was now between me and Skyfire. I grabbed the arms of the chair, kicked myself up, and did a servo-stand, wanting to show off as usual to the ungraceful shuttle. I started to lean backwards so I would end up on the opposite side of the chair, and hence facing my lover, but one should never do stupid things on chairs with wheels. It slid out from under me, and having so much of my weight jerked to one side of it caused it to flip over. And the Seeker was the ungraceful one that orbital cycle as I fell on my face.

"Ack!"

"Star!" Skyfire ran over, quickly beside me. "You alright?"

I giggled, sitting up. "I fail at life." I held up my arms to him, and he picked me up bridal style. He carried me over to his chair and sat down, placing me on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, just before kissing him on the lip plates. "Hey, sexy." I said softly, wings fluttering.

"Hey, yourself." He placed a servo on my aft, another on my hip.

I licked his cheekplates, then forced my glossa into his mouth. I pressed my front against his chassis, his servos feeling and groping my body. I heard his cooling fans whirling to life, and that click of his spike cover opening. I smirked.

"Perv."

"Turn around." He ordered, firmly, but lovingly.

I handed him my leash. "Use it. Or I bite him the moment you let him out."

"If you bite my spike I will-"

"Turn me over your lap and use a cable? I'm hoping for it." I snapped at him, wings fluttering.

Skyfire rolled his optics, snatched the leash from me, and attached it to my collar. He then gave it yank.

"Gah!" I smirked, my faceplates in his. "You going to ride this dog?"

"Ewwwww!" He grabbed me and turned me around quickly. "You are so nasty."

"And yet you love me anyway."

He removed his codpiece, and indeed the spike gods had blessed him with a very large, hard one. Praise be to them!

"Sit." He commanded.

I lifted myself, removed my codpiece, and lowered myself slowly onto him, gasping until I was all the way down. I leaned back against him, his servos feeling my waist and down my thighs. His hot exhales on my nape just before he bit above the collar. I gasped, submitting myself fully to him. He bit my shoulder, then down my back to my wing, and started to bite my wing. I winced, whimpering some, but I stayed put, knowing my place.

He was giving my wing an extra hard bite and tug when he suddenly stopped. His wings perked, then I felt his index digit running down the seam of my wing, his own wings perking.

"Did you… Replace your wing or something?"

"Huh?" I looked back at him.

"This is all new and there's signs of self repair. Did you crash?"

"Oh, that. No, I went with TC to visit his creators. My sire-in-law was a major aft, really nasty, and he insulted TC's carrier. and of course TC allows _no one_ to insult his carrier. So, a fight broke out. I got a wing ripped off. Steelwing lost limbs, like his jaw, most of his front… TC lost limbs and half of his sexy face. Warp was damaged, too, but better off." I replied nonchalantly.

Skyfire took a moment, his optics widening. "I'm sorry, you got in a fight and sustained that much damage?"

"It was just a scuffle."

"That's not a scuffle."

"It is in Seeker standards. Should see what happens when we want to kill each other." I shrugged.

"Why did you get involved?"

"Trines stick together. And I like fighting. I'm a Seeker. We do that."

"It's not good. You should try to resolve conflicts through mutual understanding, peaceful agreements, and discussion."

I faked a yawn. "Borrring! I like the Seeker way."

"Star, you're going to only get hurt and make things worse. Please, don't get into fights. Do it for me?"

I vented a sigh, then looked back at him. "I'll try. But I may still need to fight."

"I know this is as good as it will get from you." He took my chin and kissed me over a wing. "Did you at least win?"

"I got my aft kicked by Gale. But Thunder tore his sire apart. So… Yes." I smiled.

"Got your aft kicked? Did you bend over for him?"

I rolled my optics. "So mean to me… No, He took me by surprise and… I found myself on the floor and he got my wing torn off before he started to strangle me."

"Did you get him off?"

I paused, remember how I froze, how I saw Brakelight. I could of died because of my PTSD acting up and that panic attack. I bit my lip plate, then shook my helm.

"What happened?" Skyfire asked, sensing my mood changing.

"He… Gale got an off powered energon whip around my neck and was strangling me. He was on top of me, holding me down and I… I just flashbacked to… To Brakelight. A-and I… I panicked… And froze…" I swallowed. "If it had been a fight to the death or something I would be dead… Or my waste port no longer virgin… And I am _not_ anyone's glitch in that way." I waved a digit to emphasize.

"I'm going to ignore that last part." He hugged me close, and I adjusted myself with him still in me. "You want to try therapy? Talk to someone about Brakelight?"

"I doubt it would help at this point…"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Just has been over two vorns…"

"Therapy always helps no matter how much time has passed." He kissed my nape. "Have you told your trinemates?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't need them mad at me."

"Why would they be mad? You were a sparkling who was raped. You had no idea what was happening or what to do."

"I don't need them judging me…"

"Star…" He vented a sigh. "Do they love you?"

"Yes."

"Without a doubt?"

"None."

"How much do they love you?"

"Enough to kill."

"If they love you so much, why would they be mad at you?"

"I don't know… Just… Might."

"No, they won't. You know why?"

"Why?"

"Because they love and accept you for who you are and what who've been through. I know they won't hurt you for what happened to you." He hugged me. "You should tell them. It'll make you feel better having them to talk to about it, and know that they will have your back if anyone were to ever mock you for what happened."

"I don't know…"

"Will you think about it?"

I hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah… I can…"

He kissed me. "Please, do."

I bit my lip plate, then vented a sigh. "Whatever. Let's just frag." I grabbed the arms of the chair before lifting myself up.

Skyfire held my hips, then pulled me down onto him. "Faster."

I smirked. "Use the collar, big guy."

Skyfire rolled his optics before tugging the leash. "Faster." He said firmly.

"Faster, what?"

"Faster, slave?"

"No."

"Faster my love of my life?"

"Ew…"

Skyfire groaned. "Faster… Dog."

"That's it!" I Triumphantly smiled, lifting myself up and down on that gloriously, huge spike."

* * *

I giggled as Thundercracker pulled me close to him, snuggling into that big, strong, sexy hunk of mine. The three of us were in the tub (we chose this apartment because of the giant tub for just this reason), Thundercracker in the middle holding us close to him, sitting in warm water and lots of suds. Scented candles burned all around the tub and washroom, and the small table we placed beside the tub had engex, carbonated, sweet engex, and engex goodies. All around were petals from crystal flowers, the light from the candles reflecting off them in the dim room

Not having creations around anymore was so nice sometimes.

"Love you, both." Thundercracker said, kissing us each on the lip plates.

"Love ya more, hump master." Skywarp snicker before grabbing a mess of suds and putting it on Thunder's face.

"How about not." Thundercracker wiped it away as Skywarp giggled.

"I'll clean ya, sexy!" Skywarp grabbed a cloth and started to scrub Thundercracker's chestplates.

I have to admit, my mech looks so much hotter all wet and in suds. And then when he's covered in energon, oil, and engine grease from combat… Oh, I am _flooding_ between the legs!

I watched them, silent, thinking about my conversation with Skyfire. I did want to tell my trinemates about Brakelight, but I was scared. I didn't want to be rejected, hated, or shunned. I was so happy with them, and my life was almost perfect now. I didn't want anything to change all because they found out I had my virginity taken by a grounder, my honor lost and never able to be restored… I was disgusting. I was absolutely awful, and I was a liar, and I wasn't worthy to be theirs. I hated myself, and I didn't want to ruin their lives.

But what if they did forgive me? If they truly did love me, wouldn't they want me no matter if I had honor or not? Wasn't honor just another social construct of traditionalism, or did it have an important purpose? I didn't know anymore.

Then again… I had cheated on them with Skyfire and they loved me anyway. And they didn't cast out Zephyr when she had been raped…

Maybe… Maybe I should tell them. Maybe it would help me. And maybe… Maybe I could fight my demons if I had my trinemates there beside me in the battle. Maybe Skyfire was right about this. He had been right about the abuse and traditionalism… Maybe I should listen to the fat shuttle more.

I swallowed, deciding to take the plunge. Best case scenario, they accept me, love me, and nothing changes. Worst case… They kill me. Which is something Seekers do to bad trinemates if they feel it necessary. I'm not exaggerating.

"Hey… Thunder, Warp?" I said quietly.

"Yes, my love?" Thundercracker gave me a loving squeeze, kissing my brow.

"Um… I-I have something I want to tell you." I kept looking down, winging my servos under the water.

Thundercracker knew it was something important, sensing how upset I was. "What's wrong? Who do I need to kill?" His wings flared and optics narrowed.

"He's long gone, now…" I still kept looking down.

"Who?"

I bit my lower lip plate, then spoke. "I-I lied to you guys. W-when we trined."

"How so?" Thundercracker raised an optical ridge.

"Are you not Starscream, but rather some female, organic alien from another planet here to impregnate us with your eggs, and infest all of Cybertron to rule with an iron claw and turn us into space monkeys?" Skywarp inquired. Ah, never change, Warp.

"No, I…" I inhaled deeply. "I was not a virgin when you trined me."

"What?" Thundercracker gave me a puzzled look. "You weren't trined before…"

"No… I…" I still didn't look at them, biting my lip plate harder. "I-I was… I-I didn't ch-choose to have it…" Coolant started to pool in my optics, seeing his face again. "I didn't want the interface… H-he hurt me."

"Who hurt you?" Thundercracker's vocalizer was firmer. Not angry at me, but at my attacker. "What happened?"

"You can tell us, Scree. We're not mad." Skywarp said it in such a gentle, loving, caring, and concerned vocalizer I just… I knew I was safe. And I finally spoke.

"I-I was 5 stellar cycles old i-in school… There was… This teacher. A-a grounder mech…" I swallowed. "Brakelight." I had to pause, saying his designation… I saw him, that smile, those optics… And I heard his vocalizer. "H-he w-would take me to his office and…" Coolant was leaking down my cheekplates, and I almost broke, but held myself together so I could finish. "He would touch me… grope me… And it lasted decacycles that he did that to me, grooming me. I-I didn't know better. H-he kept touching me, a-and made me touch him… Until one orbital cycle he just…" I couldn't say it, remembering it. The memory coming back fully. All the pain, the fear… I broke, unable to speak anymore as I cried.

I felt like an idiot crying about it in front of my trinemates. I was trineleader, this happened so long ago, I had interfaced a billion times so it didn't matter… No, it _did_ matter. And I wasn't stupid for it still effecting me at that time, and even still. It's something that no one should ever endure. And showing my distress over it was natural and how I coped with it. And I had every right to cry.

Thundercracker pulled me onto his lap, holding me close. Skywarp hugged me as well, their engines purring to comfort me. I just cried, trying to calm down. Trying to caste him back into the darkness of my processor. I tried thinking of my creations, anything to get that memory out of my processor, even temporary.

Thundercracker lifted my chin, making me look at him once I had calmed down some. There was no anger in his optics, just sadness and his undying love for me. "You know I love you, right?"

I nodded, wiping at my optics.

"Then you know that no matter what happened to you when you were young, I would never change that. You are my everything. I swore an oath to you, and I will keep it. I love you, Starscream." He paused. "I don't know what else to say to you about what happened. I'm pissed that it happened, and I want nothing more than to track him down and put him through absolute hell. Hopefully one orbital cycle I can find him for you and disembowel him before you like the prince you are deserves to see. But until that orbital cycle… Just know that I love you, I don't care if you were pure or not when I trined you, and you regained your honor already."

"How?"

"By being the most amazing trinemate, a wonderful creator, a hero to your creations and us, and just being a kind, loving, incredible Seeker. Honor, no honor, pure, impure… You're mine, I love you, and no one will ever touch you again. Not as long as my spark pulses."

I sheepishly smiled, then hugged him, unable to speak.

"Yeah, Scree. No one is ever touching ya again. And I'll kill anyone who gets their grubby servos on you. And I love ya no matter what happened or will happen. You're mine, forever and always." Skywarp replied resolutely.

"Promise?" I managed to say.

"Promise." Thundercracker kissed me. "And if you ever need to talk to someone, you have us. We're here for you."

"You guys are too perfect. I hate you." I grunted before smirking.

Thundercracker chuckled. "Love you, too."

"Do you feel better telling us?" Skywarp inquired.

I didn't respond immediately. "I think so. I still.. I have flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks over what he did to me all the time. It makes things hard… I sometimes am reminded of him when with you guys because of something you do or say. And I just want it to stop."

"Well, let's work on it." Thundercracker said, stroking my backplates soothingly. "We are going to make the nightmares stop and get you better from him until we can tear off his limbs. And we won't tell anyone. No one else needs to know."

"Thanks, TC."

"Thanks for trusting us enough to tell us. Trines shouldn't have secrets. Just unadulterated love and trust." He smiled.

I faintly smiled back, wishing he had chosen different wording. "Yeah, no more secrets." I hugged him. "Love you."

"Love you, more."

I was soon kissed by those two amazing idiots, feeling better about not having to hide that dark secret of mine any longer from them. I just wish I could be entirely honest with them and not be hiding some of the things I was…

* * *

 **And that's another done! This story is 761 pages long thus far... Will I make it to 1,000 pages? So far, it's longest stand alone "book" I've written.**

 **Real pissed lately... Anti-vaccers have caused the deaths of hundreds of children in the US this year as the flu took the most lives this year in comparison with the last 5 years. Measles is returning quickly and more and more babies are dying. Fucking idiots, vaccines are HARMLESS and morons who don't vaccinate children or pets should NOT have them. Funny thing is, anti-vaccers are all vaccinated themselves. Funny how that works. And they claim that vaccines are just exploiting money, but the pharmaceutical companies LOSE money keep people from getting sick verses making them get sick and need to be hospitalized for weeks to months before dying...**

 **Idiots... Hate anti-vaccers... And, no, vaccines don't contain animals or aborted fetuses... More lies by the morons who follow fake doctors...**

 **Anyway, besides arguing with idiot carnists, anti-vaccers, racists, homophobes, and Trump lovers, I got my history done! All that's left is Game Animation. I got my model built. Just need to UV map, texture, rig, bone, and animate, then she'll be able to talk, interact in a game, and be playable! W00t!**

 **And once she's done I will be done with college!**

 **Zephyr is now 17 pounds. 13 weeks old, and more than tripled in size since I got her just 6 weeks ago. She knows sit, lie, paw, rollover, and her name. Still peeing in the house, but is getting better. Roommate's dog isn't helping since she's untrained... And roommate is being bitchy to me... Wanting me to pay for a TINY bit of damage Zephyr did to her mattress. You don't need a new $100 mattress... Can't even see the damage on the SIDE of the bed once you put a sheet on it...**

 **Ugh... I've been feeling suicidal as usual, depression is awful, I hate my life, I just want Maggie and Genevieve, and I want to just die to be with them again. Life is not fair...**

 **The tags Starscream is wearing, Zephyr's ID tag says, "This Bitch is Fucking Lost" on it.**

 **Starscream doesn't like being walked like a dog in public, but he's fine with it between just him and the person he's fragging. He's particular that way...**

 **They dump waste so... Star saying he would take a dump works!**

 **Traditional Seekers would not be into BDSM since they use beating, humiliation, and bondage as legit punishments and control tactics. But, some trineleaders might enjoy it... Like Skycutter... So long as the submissives don't try to subvert them.**

 **Suicide is NOT "cowardly" or "sinful." God doesn't condemn people to hell for suicide. He doesn't condemn anyone to hell period... The Bible makes it clear Hell is for Satan and his fallen angels only... Suicide is an awful thing, and people aren't "disobeying" God or taking something away from Him. God knows why people commit suicide. And it hurts Him. He doesn't want us hurting like that. And suicide people don't like being this way. I can promise you that...**

 **CILF = Carrier I'd Like to Frag. Star is one.**

 **Rape can still effect someone even after they've had consensual sex they enjoyed. Same as someone can have a traumatic experience of being beaten and tied up, but still enjoy some BDSM. The problem is because they never consented, it was not on their terms, they were scared and truly helpless, and it now is trauma to them. Don't make someone's suffering less all because they may enjoy something that is similar in some ways later.**

 **That's all I have for now... Don't know when next chapter will be out. I wanted to get to a different point but it was getting long so ended where I did. Guess this story is going to be longer than I originally thought.**

 **I am going to draw what the Royal Seeker Guards look like as well as the palace and get that posted on my deviantART. Then return to work on the next chapter. Which will have bad stuff in it...**

 **My life just sucks, I want my furbabies back, I feel awful, and all this shit in my life just isn't helping...**

 **Just... Go vegan. TRUE vegan. Vaccinate, don't be racist, sexist, or homophobic, fight against Trump and people like him, and just don't be a dick.**

 **That's all I have to say for this note...**


	26. Public Flogging

**Chapter 26**

"Grandcarrier!"

The excited exclaims from three Seekerlets all running over greeted me as I entered the apartment.

"Hey, little ones!" I crouched, holding out my arms to my grandcreations, embracing them as they ran into my arms. The youngest was crawling over on all fours, eager to be part of this. I held a 4 stellar cycles old, 7 stellar cycles old, and 10 stellar cycles old. The two eldest femmlings, and younger two mechlings. "Primus, you guys won't stop growing. Getting far too big for my liking. Need to stay tiny forever!"

"Noooo." Vertigo, the 4 stellar cycles old one shook his helm as he smiled.

"Yes." I stood up when my daughter arrived.

"Thanks for watching them, carrier." Tempest hugged me.

"No need to thank. I love being with my grandcreations." I hugged her back.

"And they love their grandcarrier." She kissed me on the cheekplates before releasing me. "We'll be back late. Have them in berth by 19:00, dessert _after_ refuel, make sure homework is done, and no violent movies. I left some bottles for the sparkling on the table. I just nursed him so he'll be fine for a joor. And, please, watch your language. I already have one of them getting in trouble at school for cussing because of you."

I held up my servos innocently. "I only seek to give them knowledge and proper communication skills."

"Telling a teacher she needs to shut her whore mouth isn't 'communication skills.'" Tempest gave me a stern look.

"Shut your whore mouth." I replied.

"I mean it." She jabbed a digit at me.

"Hey, carrier!" Salvo greeted me with a smile.

"Son." I hugged him. "How have you been treating my daughter?"

"Like the queen she is." He winked at her.

"Mhmm." Tempest grunted. "Where's Arcus?"

"He's coming."

I picked up the youngest and held him against my chestplates. "Last time I saw you, you still couldn't even crawl."

"He's growing so fast." Salvo commented.

"He is."

"Alright, let's go." Arcus said as he entered from the other room. "Thanks, carrier. We appreciate you watching the sparklings."

"You're more than welcomed. Watch your trine closely." I looked up at him. Arcus was a larger Seeker, and the sire to all of these beautiful grandcreations of mine. Salvo was unable to carry. He had been attacked when an adolescent by grounders, and his gestation tank was beyond salvageable. It had to be remove after it started to deteriorate from his frame rejecting it. He would later be able to sire a few creations with Tempest, but only after several surgeries. Which, at this time they were not able to get for him due to the cost and it being difficult for Seekers to be accepted for.

"I most certainly will. You heard what happened?"

"About that trine being gunned down by grounders and the police refusing to look into it? Yes. Now, I'm hearing that the killers are part of some Functionist gang or something."

"It's ridiculous." Arcus grunted. "They say we're the problem and yet they're the ones doing the killing…"

"And the Senate is thinking about making it harder for us to get our creations in schools. Public schools are about to ban all Seekers. And a couple of more Vosian schools are banning fliers period. Tarn now only has segregated schools. And Kalis has started to drag out 'lesser' builds from some schools."

"The way someone looks shouldn't determine their ability to get an education." Salvo put in. "Going to school is a right, not something for the Functionists to control and judge who gets an education and who doesn't."

"Let's not talk about this in front of the creations. I don't want them getting scared." Tempest quietly, but quickly said. "We'll be back late, carrier." She hugged me. "Love you. You are the best carrier in the universe."

"Very true." I kissed her cheekplates as I hugged her back.

She let me go and turned to her creations. "Behave, listen to grandcarrier, and if you must kill, tear out their optics first, lest they still watch you in their death. Pick your fights. Never battle alone. It is better to flee and live, then fight and die when there is no need."

"Yes, carrier!" They nodded, all hugging her.

"Fly safe and true until we meet again, my beautiful sparklings." Arcus hugged his creations. "Be good, little warriors, and don't pussy out on any fight."

"And you bring us honor and severed helms!" The youngest daughter smiled.

"Absolutely, my love." Arcus kissed his creations. "I'll see you later!"

"Be good, shortstuffs!" Salvo ruffed up their helms before leaving in formation with his trine.

I watched them leave, waiting for them to have flown away before turning to my grandcreations. "So… Let's get the engex and some femmes in here!"

"Carrier said for you to behave." The eldest pointed a digit at me.

I lowered my wings. "Yes, ma'am. I was very bad just now… What should we do instead?"

"I wanna go flying!" The second youngest proclaimed.

I smirked. "Go get the harnesses. Let's see if your aging grandcarrier can fly all of you sillies at once."

Somehow, I did manage to do that, at the expense of having four Seekerlets kicking me to go faster and screaming a multitude of differing orders all at once. Bad idea. But they loved it and that's all that matters.

I pampered my grandcreations with energon goodies and we watched a movie their carrier wouldn't approve of, and then I gave them cake, and let them stay up late. What can I say? I'm a wonderful grandcarrier. My grandcreations exist for me to pamper and spoil until they rust. And by hell I will do so to the best of my ability.

I was sitting at the table with them letting them gorge on cake before berthtime when I decided to let my paranoia take control.

"So," I started slowly, a digit tracing the rim of my glass. "How is school?"

"It's good." The eldest replied.

"What are your teachers like?"

"They're fine. We've been learning about how Vos became a city right now."

"Ah, that's a good history lesson. Vos is a magnificent city, with a troubled past… But she still rose from the ashes." I faintly smirked, proud of my home, as all Seekers are. "Tell me… Are there any mech teachers?"

"A few." The second eldest informed me.

My wings raised, and I felt that awful sinking feeling in the pit of my fuel tank. I saw Brakelight, his smile, I felt those servos on my body… How he lured me… How he hurt me…

I swallowed, pushing the memories away by quickly thinking about my trinemates, my creations, and my grandcreations. All the happiness I had in my life. Anything to remove him from my processor.

"Do the mech teachers ever… Ask you to go into their offices? Or touch you?" I asked as casually as I could, trying to calm myself. Hating how mechs were allowed to teach, but then reminding myself I was a mech who taught in schools for well over a vorn. Then I just thought how much I wish I was a femme. A grounder femme… I always wished I was one of those. Just… Not a Seeker forced to follow tradition, and not a mech who hurt sparklings or those they were mated to. A grounder femme who was happy, loved, and never suffered, Like the carriers of Zephyr's friends… How I envied them. I always did. I wish I had their perfect lives…

"No. Why?" The eldest asked.

"Just… wondering." I paused, studying my energon for a moment before continuing. "My loves… I need you to promise me something."

"What, grandcarrier?" The second youngest inquired, looking up at me with those large optics of his so large.

"Promise me… That if a mech ever touches you… Or asks you to go into his office, or a closet, or washroom, or anywhere alone with him… That you will tell him 'no' and run over to a femme, your creators, uncle, me, grandsire, or other family adults. And you tell us _exactly_ what happened. Can you promise me?"

"Why do we need to tell you?" Vertigo asked again, those stubby wings of his raising a little.

"Because, my love… Mechs outside of the family… Are not safe. If you are with a lot of people, that's one thing, but when alone with a strange mech… Some, not all, hurt sparklings. And… I don't want you to be hurt. Because when a mech hurts a sparkling… It ruins your life. And you will cry every orbital cycle. And I don't want you to be hurt like that. I love you so much. And if you are hurt by a mech, or touched by one, but don't want to tell your carrier or sire, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. It will be kept just between us. But, never keep it to yourself. You need to tell an adult you trust, like me, and we will stop you from being hurt. Because… Sometimes if you don't tell an adult you know what happened, it might happen again. Can you promise me that you'll tell me if a mech tries to be alone with you, touches you, or hurts you?"

They were confused, but the second youngest piped up.

"Uh huh, grangran!"

The eldest nodded. "Yes, grandcarrier."

The second eldest looked scared, but nodded her answer. The youngest was busy smearing cake over his faceplates.

"Thank you, my loves. And most importantly… You know your codpiece? The area between your legs? No one is allowed to touch it. Just you. And a doctor if you have to see one. And your carrier when you're a sparkling. But, otherwise, no one touches it. Protect it. And if anyone tries to touch it… Run. If you have to hit them or hurt them to get away do so. Don't let anyone touch your codpiece, your aft, or here." I touched over my chestplates. "If anyone does, tell me, or your creators, or your uncle. Promise me?"

They all nodded. I forced a small smile, wanting to reassure them.

"Thank you, my loves. Grandcarrier feels better knowing that you will take good care of yourselves. It's your body. You make the rules for it. No one else does. Not me, not carrier, not sire, not grandsire, and not any trinemate you may get in the future. You and you alone. And if anyone has a problem with that, you tell grandcarrier and I'll deal with them. Understood?" They nodded. "Thank you, sweetsparks. Finish your cake. I got to get you all in berth before your carrier comes home and scolds me for disobeying her."

I did get a scolding from Tempest when she got home. She knew I hadn't listened to her rules when she found evidence of the party we had. But it was worth it. My grandcreations are always worth it.

I returned home late that night, tired, and my stupid anxiety acting up from having remembered Brakelight. I plopped myself down on the couch, rubbing over my faceplates tiredly. Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, and I felt gentle, loving kisses pressed against my neck. I offlined my optics, savoring my mech's caresses and all the boundless love emanating from his large being. Damn, I am so lucky he changed. So, damn lucky he's one of the rare few who do realize they were wrong and make a change for the better,

"You alright?" He asked softly, kissing me low on the front of my neck.

"Tired." I answered quietly.

His ebony servos took mine in them, lifting them to his lip plates so he could press slow, firm kisses to them. "You're upset. Who do I need to disembowel, my love? I just need a designation and their organs and helm will be served to you for breakfast."

I faintly smirked. Primus, he's perfection. My smile faded when I spoke. "I just… Remembered him… Brakelight. And what he did to me. I… My anxiety is acting up." It was so nice to finally be able to be honest with him about my actual feelings. At least, concerning my sparklinghood rapist.

"I'll kill him." He said a little firmer.

"I know you will." I cupped his cheekplates and made him press the side of his face against mine. "If you can ever find him."

"I'll find him. Eventually."

"Mhmm."

Thundercracker climbed over the back of the couch and sat beside me. He kissed me on the lip plates, hugging me close to him. He then pressed his brow against mine, purring his engine. I faintly smiled, wings giving a slight flutter. He licked my faceplates playfully before pulling me onto his lap.

"I love you."

"Love you, too." I said softly, resting my helm on his shoulder, optics offlining, inhaling deeply to smell him.

"And you know I will destroy everyone in this world if it meant keeping you safe and happy, right?"

I slowly nodded. "Yes, sir."

"What do you need me to do for you, my love?"

"Just hold me… Tell me you love me… And give me all the kissies. And never let me go. Ever. Even if I squirm to get away. Stay with me even if I get angry. And feed me cake. Lots of cake. I like cake."

He smiled. "I can do that, beautiful." He then nuzzled his olfactory sensor against mine.

"Where's Skywarp?"

"Watching porn…" Thundercracker grunted. "It sounds like turbofoxes in heat in his room, so I don't think we should dare enter."

"Ew…" I hugged him, my wings fluttering when he hugged me back, a servo grasping my aft.

"Mhmm." He held me in silence for a bit before cupping my faceplates and kissing me on the lip plates. He studied me for a moment, faintly smiling. "Damn." He so quietly said.

My wings perked. "What?"

He slowly shook his helm, just smiling. "I just… Still can't believe I'm mated to the most beautiful, sexiest, brilliant, kindest, and amazing Seeker to ever live. Every time I look at you I have to pinch myself to remind myself that this is reality, not some dream. However did I get so damn lucky?"

I sheepishly smiled, looking down. "I'm not that pretty…"

"Oh, you are. Inside and out. I just look at you and I get so hard… I need to just hug you, and kiss you, and make love to you, and never let you go, and be with you every astrosecond I can. It pains me when I don't have you in my arms, whether when I'm showing you my love physically, or just quietly cuddling together like we are now. How was I so blessed to have won you over? To even have a chance of trining perfection like you."

"Stop it. I'm not perfect…"

"And you're also so humble. Sheer perfection." He kissed me again. "I want to just hug you and never, ever let go of you. And carry you everywhere because you are too perfect to ever step on the ground." A servo lowered to my abdominal plates. "And you gave me five, beautiful femmlings, and raised them as only the best carrier could."

"Why do you have to do this?"

He kissed me again. "And you never gave up on me. You kicked my aft, made me change from an abusive fragger into who I am now. And I can finally look myself in the mirror without wanting to punch what I see. You are an incredible leader, scientist, and all around absolute perfection." He placed his servos on my hips. "And the best frag I am damn lucky enough to have. That anyone could ever hope to have. Know why you are the best frag?"

"Because I have a tight valve that can take a pounding from your luscious, fat, juicy spike?"

"That… And because when I'm in you, pounding away, all I can think of is my love for you, how much I love you, how blessed I am to be able to call you mine, and being able to look into your lively, magnificent, stunning optics, seeing your perfection, innocence, and love as I'm inside of you. As close and intimate as I can get with you. Because, if I could, I would permanently make my spark part of yours just so I could be closer to you."

"Stop… You're going to make me cry or feel emotions that I can't otherwise restrain." I looked away, not wanting this glitch to make me cry.

He smiled, pulling me closer and kissing me on the lip plates. "I love you."

"Love you, too. But right now I hate you. Go to hell."

He kissed me again. "My perfect Star."

"Stop being so nice to me." I hugged him. "I hate it when you are…"

"Oh, do you? Should I lie and call you hurtful words?"

"Shut up and tell me you love me."

"How can I tell you something if I must shut up?"

"Mmmm!" I flicked my wings. "Take me to my room, peasant. And… Lazily provide your love to me. Gentle lazy. I'm tired."

"Yes, sir." He kissed me before picking me up bridal style.

"I don't care about you. Just what's in your codpiece. I would cut it off if it could hump me by itself."

"Mhmm." He kissed me. "Keep saying that. I'm going to give you a nice, gentle frag, then you are going to recharge because you're grumpy."

"Not grumpy. Just stating facts, dumbaft."

"Mhmm. Love you, too. My little prince."

"I'll tear out your spark and eat it."

"Mhmm." He kissed me, carrying me up the stairs now.

"I'm ferocious. Fear me." I then hissed.

"So ferocious."

"I demand sacrifices. Virgin sacrifices."

"As you wish, beautiful."

"And your energon in a golden goblet."

"As you so command, my little Seeker."

"Not little."

"So little."

"I'll bite you."

"I'll bite back. And you know I love biting you." He snapped his jaws.

"I'll tear out your optics."

He closed the door when we got into my room. "I'll beat your aft."

"Careful. I might like it and ask for you to hit me harder and give me more while also begging you to stop and crying like a little glitch."

He unceremoniously dumped me on the berth. "Do you still want soft and gentle, or are you riled up now and want an aft beating?"

"I'll carve off your face."

"Alright. Turn over."

"Your face turn over."

"Come on, turn over."

"Your face come on!"

"Oh, you want me to cum on your face?"

"Your face is a cum on your face!"

"Alright, an aft beating and I'm cumming on your face. So much for a gentle, easy night."

"Your face is a gentle, easy night!"

He gently rolled me onto my front. "Keep talking."

"Your face keep talking!" I flicked my wings.

"Mhmm." He kissed me, then smacked my aft hard with his servo.

"Ow!" I glared at him. "Your face needs a slap."

"What is your obsession with my face?"

"Your face is an obsession! Ow! Ow! Argh! I'm sorry! Ow! I hate you! Ah! Ow!"

"You're such a bat." He kept giving me hard smacks, but not too fast. "I love you."

"Your face is a brat! Ouch!"

Thundercracker removed his codpiece, his spike dangling out. I knew what to do. I began to stroke and caress it as he kept smacking my aft. It wasn't long before it was hard and he got over me. He bit my nape as he penetrated me, then started to hump. It was gentle and slow, and his biting became loving nips. His wings fluttered as he took me, letting me lie on my front and relax, enjoying his love. I smiled, remembering all the things he had said to me on the couch.

I am the lucky one. I have him as my mate, my foundation, my best friend, my everything.

* * *

 **A little over a decacycle later:**

I looked up as Thundercracker pulled the chain, tugging at the spiked collar around my neck. I was on my knees before him as he stood, my servos manacled behind my back. My aft was sore from the beating with a cane I had just received, the vile, evil cane… I would sneak into Thundercracker's room just to break the wicked things, which only caused him to buy more and give me a beating with them on my abused rear. This conflict would continue for a very long time…

Skywarp was on his knees by me, a collar also adorning his neck, and the chain attached to it kept him tethered to the leg of a table. His servos were manacled, and a ring gag in his mouth, forcing it to stay open. His aft also had had a lovely "chat" with the cane, but wasn't as dented as mine.

"Did my prince deserve his beating?" Thundercracker lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. I nodded quickly, wings low, but keeping optic contact, a silent reminder of who was actually in charge in the end. He kept his wings not low, but still a bit lower than neutral, his own silent submission to my unquestionable rule. "Is my prince a good, well-behaved slave?"

I nodded again, swallowing when he gave the chain another tug.

"Have you been good this orbital cycle?"

I nodded once more. "Yes, sir."

"Good. Open." He commanded.

I obeyed, opening my mouth just before he pushed his hardened spike into it, then started to thrust. I felt it sliding down my throat hard, pushing against my fuel pipe, knowing that what was happening was visible from the outside of my neck.

It's not exactly my favorite experience, fellatio. I much prefer cunnilingus, no pain, less invasive, I can swallow energon afterwards, and a little less humiliating, but… Thundercracker was the boss in the berthroom and I his humble slave. And so he got his fellatio. I'll get back at him and get him to give me some valve kissing next bonding session.

We all perked our wings when the communicator went off. Skywarp quickly teleported out of his chains and gag, and I hate him being able to escape such things… I have to just suffer… My annoying life mate materialized next to the communicator and grabbed it.

"Ello! If you're calling to speak to Starscream, he's unable to talk for a bit." He giggled.

I rolled my optics. With my luck it would be my carrier and he has to tell her I have a mouth full of spike. Bless her spark. She deserves better.

"Let me ask." Skywarp turned to Thundercracker. "Hey, it's Scree's older brother, the one with the cloud designation. He says he wants to talk to ya."

"Me?" Thundercracker perked his wings, a servo stroking the top of my helm.

"Yah huh!"

Thundercracker gestured him over, and Skywarp skipped towards him. Thunder took the communicator and held it to his audio receptor.

"Seeker Thundercracker of Vos speaking." He paused. "Hello, Nacreous. How do the winds fair for your wings?" He was silent a moment, no longer thrusting, but keeping my helm in place and that oversized spike in my mouth.

I flicked my wings, not liking that Nacreous was on the line. The aft who tortured those poor trinemates of his.

Thundercracker gently petted my helm as he continued talking. "She what? Attempted suicide?" He paused. "What do you want me to do about it?" He looked down at me as he listened. "Nacreous, I wouldn't say I'm an expert on this just because my own trinemate attempted the same thing."

I flicked my wings and growled my engine, then bit down some on his spike. He growled, shoving me away, freeing me.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

Thundercracker put it on speaker so I could hear.

::I never said you were an expert, Thundercracker.:: Nacreous' vocalizer sounded. ::I just need to know what you did that got Starscream to behave again and not try to kill himself. I have tried beating her, flogging her, tying her to the berth, dominating her, electrocuting her, even sparking her. She keeps trying to kill herself and I'm sick of this cowardice and disrespect. Because of her misbehaving she has had three miscarriages and two stillborns. You somehow got Starscream to cease suicide after only one attempt. She's up to almost twenty. I am exhausted and it's either she ceased this poor attitude or I will be forced to kill her myself.::

Thundercracker's optics narrowed, but he refrained from saying what he wanted. I was about to speak my mind in a very firm manner, but Thunder spoke instead.

"Don't punish her. Punishment is the reason she's suicidal. It's not right to hurt her so much when the problem is that she's already hurting on the inside. She doesn't need your anger, she needs your love." He paused. "Starscream attempted suicide because I went too far with a punishment and hurt him so much he thought I hated him and wanted him to suffer. He couldn't live with that pain and feeling like I couldn't stand him, so he saw death as the only escape. It's not his fault, it was mine. I failed as trineleader to show him that I love him, I care for him, and by not keep punishments appropriate to the crime. Punishing her for attempting suicide is simply reaffirming her that you hate her and therefore she has no point in living without her trineleader's love. In order to stop her from attempting suicide, you must love her. Bond with her when she feels like it and be gentle and slow. Kiss her like she's the only one in the world for you, hold her like the most precious being in the universe, tell her you love her every chance you get, make her her morning energon in berth, get her flowers, go on a romantic date, carry her everywhere you go, and listen to her. Everything she says listen to her. And smile at her always."

There was silence on the other end for a bit before a chuckle sounded. ::That's nice. Kinda sappy, but not bad. So, how did you stop Star?::

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "By the way I just said."

::Mhmm. Seriously, Thunder, we're trineleaders. Let's keep things real between us.::

I was fuming. "Tell him you will pay a visit to help." I said softly so that Nacreous wouldn't hear.

Thundercracker raised an optical ridge, but I gave him a look that made it clear I was not playing around.

"How about I come over and show you what I did? Would that be of benefit?" Thundercracker replied.

::It would. You free tomorrow?::

Thundercracker looked at me, and I gave a single nod of my helm. "Affirmative. 14:00 work?"

::It does. I will see you then, Thundercracker.::

"I look forward to it. Now, if you'll excuse me, your brother is busy sucking me off, and I rather have his mouth working than yours."

Nacreous chuckled. ::Enjoy yourself. Nacreous out.::

Thundercracker hung up, watching me closely. I was standing now, Skywarp having removed my manacles. I was no longer in the mood for interface. I was murderous.

I flicked my wings, optics narrowed, pacing in my unholy fury. My trinemates stayed where they stood, wings hiked, feeling the tension, growing angry themselves, not just from that sick conversation, but feeding off the hatred emanating from my being.

I finally ceased my pacing and turned to them. "Be on your best behavior, tomorrow. We're saving her."

* * *

We transformed and landed on the balcony outside of Nacreous' apartment. Thundercracker was in front, leading us to the door. I stayed to the right, just behind him, wings hiked up. Thundercracker pressed the door chime, and we waited. The door was soon opened by Stardust.

"Welcome, please enter." She said quietly, forcing a small smile out of politeness.

"Thank you." Thundercracker entered and we followed.

I stayed by Stardust waiting for her to close the door before hugging her. "Hey." I said softly, holding my sister-in-law. "Doing alright?"

She slowly shook her helm, not looking at me. I cupped her cheekplates with a servo, making her look up at me. "I'm going to do what I can to save her. I promise."

"We're submissives." She said in such a defeated tone, resigning herself to the fate of the trineleaders.

"We're more than that. We can fight back, we can lead ourselves. We don't need anyone else telling us what to do."

"But we're punished if we don't obey."

"Then leave the abuser." I said firmly.

She gave me a look as if I had gone senile, before turning and walking away. I exhaled heavily. She was still mentally trapped. So many like her were.

"There he is." Nacreous greeted as he approached from the stairs. "Been a while."

"Suppose it has." Thundercracker stiffly replied.

Nacreous gave Thundercracker a firm servo shake before turning to me. "Hello, troublemaker. Have you been behaving?" He roughed up my helm, much as he used to when I was a Seekerlet, but now it was out of mockery, not sibling love.

"Please, stop." I grunted, pushing his servo away.

"Watch it."

Thundercracker flicked his wings. "Do not touch my trinemate. He is mine to handle, no one else's."

"Of course." Nacreous stepped back from me. "The nuisance is upstairs, if you would follow me." He turned and headed for the stairs again.

Thundercracker gave me a look to behave, at least, don't do anything rash behave. Not that I would ever listen to his warnings at any point in my life.

We went up the stairs and followed my older brother to a berthroom. He unlocked the door and gestured us inside.

"This is pretty much all she does. Just sits here and feels sorry for herself rather than clean or do any work." He said it as if he were talking about some great inconvenience in his life.

My optics widened at what I saw. I quickly rushed over to my sister-in-law, taking her servo in mine. Maelstrom didn't react. She sat on her berth, blankly staring into space, her optics dim and barely online. Her paint was chipped, her body covered in dents from a cable, switch, metal rod, punches, kicks, and slaps. Her rear end, back, wings, chest, thighs, and faceplates bore the marks and tears from a whip, tawse, and a thin cable. One optic was cracked, obviously from a punch, her lip plate cut, rust on her frame, wings bent and twisted, and no life in her. She was like a statue, like a drone. Alive, but no life.

"Maelstrom? Hey, it's me. It's Starscream. You remember me, don't you, Strom?" I perked my wings, lifting her chin up to look at me. Her optics stayed lowered, not reacting at all. I saw the shock collar with spikes on the inside on her neck. The marks from the spikes tearing into her neck cables, and the burns from the electrocutions. "It's your brother-in-law. It's Star." I caressed her cheekplate, but still nothing.

"She stopped talking long ago." Nacreous grunted. "Doesn't even make noise when she's punished or fragged."

I gently opened her mouth, worried that maybe something was broken in her throat causing her to be silent. I saw a lot more than I ever thought I would see. Her denta were almost nonexistent. They had been smoothed and almost flattened to nothing from her grinding and gritting them almost constantly for the last 2 vorns. Her glossa was denta from her biting it, her jaw pistons rusted and damaged from her gritting her jaw so much, and the inside of her cheekplates and lip plates chewed out from biting them. There was also tears from a gag or wire being forced into the corners of her mouth.

The damage inside and around her mouth not only made it clear she was in constant pain, but that Nacreous clearly never kissed her. Never showed her a simple gesture of love like a peck on the lip plates. She was just covered, all over her body, in dents, tears, scrapes, rust, and other damage. She didn't look like Maelstrom anymore. I didn't know who this was. Maelstrom was an absolutely stunning, drop-dead gorgeous Seeker femme, who had a fire in her optics, and a bright smile. She loved her creations despite being forced to carry over twenty of them, and was a rebellious thing. This Seeker… Was just a husk. A broken, lifeless husk of a Seeker I once knew.

And seeing her like that.. And knowing it was my own brother who did this to her… I started to leak coolant. I couldn't leave her here. I needed to save her.

"She's boring to have around at this point with how she doesn't do anything. But I don't want her killing herself." Nacreous continued.

"She's not staying here." I blurted out. "You're killing her." I turned to face my brother. "She's going to live with me."

Nacreous raised his wings, giving me a hard look. "No, she's mine and is staying here. And you have no say in anything, submissive. I'm speaking to your trineleader. Go make yourself of use and clean something."

I stomped over to my brother, wings flared. "She's coming with us!" I shouted. "You're an abusive, miserable, narcissistic fragger! Maelstrom is going to live with me and I'm going to take care of my sister-in-law!"

Nacreous flicked his wings. "If Thundercracker won't beat you, I will. And I use a whip far more than he does."

"You will not touch him." Thundercracker snapped. "And I no longer punish my trinemates. That is why they are not suicidal."

"It's also why they don't obey you." Nacreous scoffed.

"She's coming with me." I growled before going back to Maelstrom and taking her arm. "You're coming with me, sis. I'm going to take care of you." I started to make her stand.

"Release her, Starscream." Nacreous snapped.

"I'm not leaving her!" I screamed back, helping her stand, her frame so light and weak. "Skywarp, come help me."

Skywarp ran over and got her other side, the two of us helping her move forward.

Nacreous stomped over. "Release her, _now_!" He barked.

"Touch us and we'll tear off your limbs." I hissed, engine growling, wings flicking, and optics narrowed.

Nacreous never did like threats. He grabbed me and yanked me away before slamming me against the wall.

"TELEPORT!" I shouted, grabbing my brother's wrists as he strangled me.

Skywarp was scared, but he obeyed, disappearing with Maelstrom. I kicked Nacreous, biting his digits, and kneeing his codpiece. He threw me against the floor before pinning me down. He was larger than me, so there wasn't much I could do once he had me pinned. The curse of being the bite-size Seeker warrior…

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Nacreous demanded, spitting mouth lubricants in my face.

"You're abusing your submissives and killing them! _You're_ the problem!" I kept squirming, trying to free myself.

"They are _not_ your problem! You are a _submissive_! You obey and stay silent. Stop it, Star. Just because I'm your full brother doesn't mean I won't beat the slag out of you."

Thundercracker calmly approached and easily yanked Nacreous off me by his wing. Nacreous jumped back, flicking his wings.

"Let's be civilized." Thunder grunted, standing firm, wings spread, optics narrowed. Not being entirely aggressive, but making it clear to all parties that he was in charge. "You asked me to help with your trinemate. I must concur that Starscream is correct that she needs a break from you. Let us give you both a vacation from the other. You can think about your relationship with her and I will help you better understand the necessary steps to healing her and yourself, and Starscream can nurse Maelstrom back to health, and rebuild her broken spark."

"She doesn't need a vacation from me, just to stop making a fuss about everything." Nacreous growled.

"Clearly, that is not the case. Taking a break in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean ending it. Sometimes people change and need to remember who they were and why they fell in love with the other. If you both find out that this relationship was a mistake, maybe it's time to find a new one that does work. Despite what some say, there's nothing wrong with trining someone else when the previous trinemate still functions. Of what I see, I don't think Maelstrom wishes to continue this relationship. I almost had to end mine with Starscream. But, we worked things out in the end. No one else needs to know what is going on if you feel embarrassed by it."

"Maelstrom isn't going to be kept separated from me. Bring her back." Nacreous demanded.

"Give it a try. You asked for my help and I am offering it. And I will punish Starscream for attacking you just now."

"Punish him, but return my trinemate."

"I'll punish him and give Maelstrom time to heal and consider if she wishes to stay with you or not. And you will do the same."

Nacreous flicked his wings, thinking a moment before speaking. "Fine. I will allow Maelstrom to stay for a period of time, but only if you use an energon whip to punish Starscream. You're not going soft on him for this insolence."

"Very well. Give me one."

"Very well?" I gave Thundercracker a shocked look. "He's killing her and you're going to punish me for it?!"

Thundercracker gave me a harsh glare, silently ordering me to shut the hell up. I did so, waiting until Nacreous left the room to fetch his favorite whip.

"Seriously?"

"If it gets Maelstrom away from him we have to play along." Thunder grunted.

"Easy for you. You're not the one about to be flogged by you." I flicked my wings.

"I'll make it up to you."

"Lies." I flicked my wings. "Whatever gets Maelstrom away from here without him making a fuss… Whatever… fine. Let's get it over with… Not my wings or face."

"I won't hit those."

Nacreous returned and tossed the wicked thing at Thundercracker who caught it with one servo. My mate let the whip slid between his digits, feeling its length. I started to have a panic attack, remembering when he was trineleader and would tie me down to flog me with one of those. How I would scream, cry, and beg, unable to escape, and he wouldn't listen.

"Lie down." Thundercracker ordered.

I had to shake myself out of the frozen fear engulfing me. I obeyed, lying down on the berth, looking ahead, remembering my training. I was so well trained, and Nacreous would see it.

Thundercracker powered the energy whip on before lashing my aft with it. I cried out, gripping the berth. Primus, I hate whips… I hate pain…

He kept going, silently flogging me as Nacreous watched. He lashed my aft, thighs, and back, and I just cried, clung to the berth, and tried to keep myself still. I also started to have a panic attack so that didn't help. Hyperventilating, screaming from the pain and the terror engulfing me, and freaking out… All while being brutally lashed with an energy whip. Fun times.

He gave me about forty lashes before turning off the whip and handing it to Nacreous. I was bawling, the panic attack the primarily reason for that. Thundercracker grabbed my arm and gently helped me stand.

"We'll get back to you concerning Maelstrom." Thundercracker said as he started to lead me away.

"You're not keeping her for long. I will ask for her when I think she's had enough time." Was his curt reply.

Thundercracker kept silent, leading me away.

My brother is an aft…

* * *

We returned home and I found Skywarp helping clean off Maelstrom in the tub. He had gotten the shock collar off her and repaired some of the more prominent tears in her plating. Now, she was sitting in the tub, still so lifeless, but looking a little better with the bath and repairs.

"Hey, Maelstrom." I faintly smiled at her, sitting on the wall of the tub. "We're going to take good care of you. Promise."

No response from her. Skywarp gave me a concerned look before resuming cleaning her wing with a cloth. I rubbed over my faceplates, tired from not just the flogging, but just all this stress, seeing her like this, and knowing that this was all perfectly legal.

I prayed we could get her healed enough to send her somewhere far away where my brother would never find her. But, time wasn't our friend, and my brother didn't keep to his word.

It would be two orbital cycles later that sire summoned me to see him.

"Ow…" I pushed the guard away who had roughly shoved me onto my knees before the dais. I looked up at my sire who did not seem pleased at all. "Hey, sire… Um, what's up?"

"You're in big trouble, son." He growled, standing up.

"What else is new?" I sarcastically replied.

Sire stepped down the dais, his trinemates following in formation behind him. "Get on your peds and follow me." He ordered.

"But the guard threw me on my knees here." I said slowly, earning me a smack on my helm from sire.

"Enough of your disrespect. March." He yanked me up by my wing.

"Ow! Alright, let go!" I slapped his servo away, and followed. Only the Alpha's creations could get away with such attitude, may I remind you.

Sire led me to his quarters and palmed the door open. His room was filled with his breeding mates, them all in their slave outfits, some getting sexual with each other. It stunk of interface, and I sensed tension.

"What's he doing here?" Carrier asked as she sat on sire's berth, having pushed away one of my aunts who had been getting intimate with her.

"Your son is in astronomical trouble." Sire growled, gesturing his trinemates free from following him.

"What did he do?" She raised an optical ridge at him, then turned to me. "What did you do?"

"Be too fabulous? Beats me." I shrugged.

Sire dug through the closet for a bit before returning with a very thick and evil metal cable. I felt my spark dropping, knowing that this was something serious. Carrier's optics widened, and she quickly leaped off the berth.

"You're not hurting my son!" She got in front of me, putting herself between me and sire.

"I'm punishing him, Moonlight." Sire grunted. "Our son abducted the trinemate of your eldest, got in a fight with him, and is starting unrest with his preaching that trineleaders are 'abusive.' He's going to be punished, and you will as well unless you step aside."

"You're not hurting my sparkling." Carrier repeated, but a little weaker this time. "Please, Skycutter. He's our little sparkling. Don't hurt him."

"Sire, I didn't 'abduct' Maelstrom." I spoke up. "Nacreous called Thundercracker asking for help because she was feeling suicidal. And we offered to take her in and care for her until she felt better. To give them a break from each other because they needed that."

"Nacreous reports that you firmly said you were taking her and had Skywarp teleport her away. He never consented to you housing her. This is the second time you've drastically interfered with a trineleader handling their submissives. And it's _ending_ , Starscream. Lie over the arm of the couch. I know you're use to this routine."

"Sire, my trineleader will punish me for any wrongdoing I have commit-"

" _NOW_ , Starscream." He snapped.

I flinched, my wings as low as they could go. Carrier held her servos out to keep me behind her.

"Skycutter, love, please… Don't hurt our son. Don't hurt my sparkling." She begged. "L-let's talk it out. I-if you need to hit someone, hit me. Don't hurt my mechling."

"Moonlight, if you don't step aside I will flog you."

I really didn't want to be hurt by my sire. He's a lot bigger and stronger than Thundercracker, and if Thunder beating me was the worst pain imaginable… I knew I would die from sire beating me. But I didn't want my carrier being hurt. She's my hero and I love her.

"Carrier, don't." I took her servo and gently pushed her aside. "I'm not worth it. I'll submit to sire's punishment." I glared at sire. "Even though he's wrong and supporting a horrible, abusive, miserable slagger like Nacreous who is literally torturing his trinemate to death."

Sire did not like that. He grasped my arm and yanked me away from carrier very forcefully. He threw me over the arm of the couch and grasped my wing to hold me down. I was terrified, lying there with my aft high and exposed. I grasped the couch, looking down, knowing all my aunts and uncles were watching. Most having seen me since I was a tiny sparkling. Now, look at me… An adult who had to get an aft beating from the Alpha…

I said a prayer. I really did. I was so going to die…

"AHHH!" I screamed when the first evil lash tore across my rear end. It felt like Thundercracker had struck me a hundred times at once… The searing, excruciating sensation rippled through my entire being, and I swear my aft had a dent going through to my gestation tank. "AHH! AHH! SIRE! AH!"

I kept screaming, kicking, unable to hold still for the pain was unbearable. But, sire was strong and easily held me down. I was a bawling mess after only three lashes, and it wasn't long before I was screaming so loud my vocalizer was emitting static. Coolant was pouring from my optics so heavy I was blinded, but the lashes continued to rain down. My aft became a dented, torn up mess with energon leaking out in no time, and soon my thighs, wings, and lowered back were struck. That brought upon an evil more sinister pain. I thought I would die. That he would never stop until I was dead. And I kept thinking how much he hated me.

I continued screaming, kicking, and begging until he finally ceased after a hundred lashes. I was bawling, trembling, in shock from the beating, but when I tried to stand he pushed me down.

"Stay put." Sire growled. "Moonlight, come here."

I stayed, watching as carrier was made to lie over the arm of the couch in front of me. I was in too much pain to think entirely straight, still bawling my optics out, but I knew what was happening. She was being punished for speaking against sire, for trying to defend me. And it was her turn.

Carrier looked away, not wanting me to see her like this. I never wanted to see my carrier hurt. She's my carrier and I would die protecting her. Even if she insisted she died in my stead.

"AHHH!" She screamed when sire lashed her aft, her digits clawing at the couch. She stayed put, looking back at him, watching the blows tear across her aft, thighs, and wings. "AHH! SKY! AHH! PLEASE! AHH!"

Hearing my carrier screaming, crying, and begging made me feel sick. My carrier who was my hero, the strongest person I knew, the one I always looked up to for advice, protection, and admired for being so unbreakable, was just being hurt in such a horrific way, and I couldn't save her. And it made me just fill with hatred for my sire.

Sire gave her like fifty lashes before forcing her codpiece open, then penetrating her. He harshly bit her nape as he thrust into her, dominating her. Carrier was crying, her wings as low as they could go, optics offline, not offering any resistance. She looked broken, and it reminded me of Maelstrom. It reminded me during the lowest part of my life thus far.

Sire dominated her for a couple of kliks, not too long, before pulling out of her and covering his codpiece back over.

"Stay." He ordered carrier before circling back over to me. "I'm not through with you."

My spark sunk just before the lashing resumed, and I renewed my screaming and crying. I got another hundred lashes, and by the time it was over I had a hard time standing. Sire yanked me up and shoved me towards the door.

"Get out of my sight. I don't want to hear of you getting involved with any other trines. Understood?"

I nodded, and that earned a hard slap across my faceplates, almost knocking me down. I shrunk back, wings trying to lower even more.

"That's not how you respond to me." Skycutter growled.

"Y-yes, s-sir." I stuttered, my vocalizer hurting, still sobbing hard.

"Leave." He growled.

I glanced at carrier, making sure was alright. She gestured for me to depart, so I quickly did. I left through the balcony door, transformed, and flew home.

That night I found myself crying as I curled into Thundercracker's lap, his strong arms holding me close. Nacreous and two royal guards had come earlier and taken Maelstrom away. I promised her I would get her away, and I felt like I failed her. But I wouldn't give up. I would save her.

"W-we have t-to help her." I blabbered between sobs, clutching Thundercracker tightly.

"We will, my love. I'm going to call and talk to Nacreous every orbital cycle. We'll save her. Promise."

"That's n-not good enough. W-we need to bust h-her out a-and get h-her far a-away."

"We have to be careful, my love. If we did do that we would be locked up or something, she would be found, and we won't get another chance to save her. We have to play this careful. We have to make Nacreous realize he has to give her up."

"She doesn't have that time."

"We have no choice."

"She needs out. Right n-now."

"I know… I'm trying. I am." He kissed me before hugging me close, Skywarp also holding me as well.

* * *

We did keep trying. Thundercracker would call Nacreous every orbital cycle and try to explain to him that Maelstrom needed love, not punishment to heal, and encouraged him to let her stay with someone else. Maybe not us, but perhaps her creators, or another family member. Carrier got involved as well and told Nacreous he had gone too far with how he was treating Maelstrom. But my eldest full sibling refused to listen even to our carrier. I would rather face the fires of hell than not listen to carrier, but Nacreous feared no one, not even death.

I felt so helpless. No one would listen to me and I wasn't allowed to see Maelstrom. I was sick to my fuel tank, I was stressed, and I just kept thinking about all the submissives out there being abused by their trineleaders and having no way to escape, no one caring, and everyone telling them they "deserve" that treatment because they were "bad" for wanting to live their own life and have control of their own bodies.

I wished I was in power to save them. I wish I was the Alpha because I would use that position to help the Seekers, not let this abuse continue.

But, I wasn't. I was just another Seeker who couldn't do anything.

It was a few orbital cycles later that Skywarp was gone all orbital cycle to see his carrier. He had been gone so long I grew worried, and so grabbed Thundercracker to go find the tentacle monster I adore. We went to his carrier's apartment and I rung the door chime. Powerlash answered.

"He's with his carrier." He said softly, stepping aside so we could enter. "Solarstrike is at work so… It's safe for now."

"Thank you." I entered and went to the room, Thundercracker following behind me. I knocked, the door being locked, and Skywarp opened it. "Hey, you alright?"

He shook his helm, letting us in before closing the door. I looked around, the room the usual mess of old furniture covered in rust, a bucket of waste in the corner, dried energon, and almost no paint on the walls. I turned to the berth, my wings lowering.

Overcast was lying on the berth, a collar around his neck with a chain tethering it to the berth leg. He was covered in old scars and tears, rust was mostly present on his plating, and he had almost no paint. He was weak, cycling air slowly, his engine making a guttural sound, and I could hear other organs working hard despite the buildup of rust on them.

Skywarp was sitting on a chair beside the berth, holding his carrier's servo in his, his cheekplates pressed against his carrier's face, silent, simply letting his carrier feel his presence and know he was there for him. I approached, feeling sick. Not so much from the stench coming from Overcast due to his neglect, but just seeing him like this. He was so kind, so loving, just an amazing person, and yet he was treated like this. And I was reminded of poor Maelstrom, of what happened to me in the past, and all the other submissives suffering from traditionalism.

"Hey, carrier." I choked out, suddenly realizing I was on the verge of tears. "I missed you." I took his other servo, stroking the back of it with a thumb.

"Hey, sweetie." Overcast forced a smile, his dim optics onlining. "Look at you… You're beautiful. Warp was telling me… That you have gotten into scrapbooking."

I faintly smirked. "Well, I have been making things for some pictures of my creations. I should have brought some for you to see, carrier. They aren't that good, but it's fun to do."

"I would love to see them."

I pressed his palm against my cheekplates, giving him that comfort. "Love you, carrier."

"Love you, too, Star."

"Hey, carrier." Thundercracker smiled. "Been a while since I've seen you."

"Oh, Thunder." Overcast's smile grew. "I haven't seen you in forever. You're so handsome still. Thank you for taking such good care of my sparkling."

"Anything for you, carrier. Thank you for making him. He's the best thing to ever happen to me."

"You two are the best thing to ever happen to my sparkling."

I looked at Skywarp. "What's wrong?"

Skywarp didn't look up, swallowing. "He has a virus and it makes him vomit a lot. And because Solarstrike rations out his energon he's not getting enough weakening him. And then that lets the virus grow stronger and it's causing organs to not function properly or shut down. And his insides are just rust. Nothing can work right. He can't walk anymore because of how weak he is and the rust. Solarstrike hasn't even come in here in several orbital cycles. Powerlash has been taking care of him, but there's not much he can do."

I bit my lip plate, looking down at Overcast. He was dying, he needed help, and the help was there, but the mental chains were keeping him from it. Powerlash wouldn't take him to a hospital because the trineleader had ordered him not to, and you can't go against the trineleader. Trineleader knew best and was a god. And Skywarp had to obey because… Trineleader. The Alpha would get pissy. You just don't get involved with other trine's business. The trineleader knew best and could do whatever they wanted to their submissives because… They were trineleader. Nothing else.

But, this Seeker had had it with these rules, these mental chains, this whole worshiping the trineleader and letting abuse go unchallenged. I wasn't about to sit around and let my carrier-in-law, the nicest mech I would ever get the honor of meeting, be killed all because his trineleader is a miserable, pile of slag who should be recycled into waste barrels.

No, I would end this. I may have failed Maelstrom, but I wasn't going to fail Overcast.

"Break the chain. We're taking him to a hospital." I ordered.

"Wait, what?" Thundercracker perked his wings.

Skywarp hesitated, but then rent to work creating a warp gate.

"Starscream, you're going to get killed." Thundercracker warned me.

"Better me than Overcast." I grunted.

Skywarp got the collar to phase through, getting it off his carrier before picking up Overcast bridal style.

"Teleport us to the hospital. But not one in Vos." I paused. "Tarn. Let's put some distance between us and Solarstrike."

"Wouldn't Tarn be too close?" Skywarp inquired.

"Tarn is close enough to ensure that some doctors there have at least seen a Seeker or worked on one before. Once he's stabilized we will take him even further away. But no one can know where he is. Maelstrom was taken away because her location was known. Overcast's location will remain with only us. And if anyone leaks that information I will tear your limbs off. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." Thundercracker inclined his helm while Skywarp nodded.

"Good." I snapped my digits and Skywarp teleported us.

We materialized in Tarn and it took us a bit to locate a hospital. Overcast was seen to immediately, and Skywarp was allowed to stay with him. We stayed in Tarn for some orbital cycles, turning off our commlinks to ensure we wouldn't be contacted or located. We knew that Solarstrike had found out. We knew he undoubtedly went to my sire. I knew sire was hunting for me. But we weren't going to lose this one.

Overcast had to have several organs replaced, as well as most of his outer plating. It took time to get the virus removed, and him get strong enough to simply stand for a brief moment. But he got there. We then transported him to Kalis. A very Functionist city, but it was far away from Vos. We found a doctor who was willing to work on Overcast and stayed there for an orn to get him repaired and functional.

Overcast didn't object nor ever asked to go back to Vos. Rather, he was smiling, and wanted to explore. It was his first time out of that room in over a vorn, and his first time out of Vos in several vorns. He was free.

He did miss Powerlash, but he never once said he missed Solarstrike. He still talked about him, but he started to go through what I went through after Thundercracker had been thrown in prison. Getting away from your abuser you finally begin to relax, to not feel threatened all the time, to finally see how abused and controlled you were. And I knew he was realizing this. He started to have breakdowns and cry a lot, but he was strong.

When he was finally recovered, the real task was finding somewhere for him to live that wasn't in Vos. But, that is what full, younger siblings are for.

"I want half your life savings."

I gave Hellfire a look. "How about you just do this for the amount I'm giving you to help out?"

"Naw, bro, I want you to go into debt." He smirked.

"Uh huh." I handed him the Shanix I had promised him to use for Overcast's living expenses for at least a stellar cycle. "Take care of him."

"I will, Screamer. Kaon isn't a bad place when you stay high in the towers. He'll be safe here and never has to leave. And don't worry, sire won't ever find out. He can go frag himself for all I care."

"I think he does…"

"Ew… Don't. Gross. Just because I say sexual things doesn't mean I want to know about what people do."

"Missing out on some fun stuff."

"I'm perfectly happy without it or the drama it causes." He paused. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm managing." I vented a sigh.

"Need me to beat anyone up?"

"Sire… And Nacreous."

"Yeah, carrier told me about that. I have been calling Nacreous myself. Slagger told me that 'untrined virgins have no place' to speak to a trineleader who 'has created over fifty healthy sparklings.'" He snorted. "Glitch."

"He used to be so nice and understanding… He was the best brother I had growing up… I never imagined he would do this."

"All that power went straight to his empty helm." Hellfire tapped a digit against his temple. "I would say he has no spike, but… He does have fifty-three creations…"

I rolled my optics. "And he didn't help care for any of them. He should try being a carrier and find out what being a creator is all about."

"He wouldn't last."

"No, he wouldn't."

"Need anything else from me?"

"No, just take care of Overcast and yourself."

"I will." He hugged me. "Love you, Stars."

I held my little brother close. "Love you, too, Hellion."

"Don't let sire murder you."

"I shall try my utmost."

He released me. "Give carrier a hug for me."

"I shall." I turned towards my trinemates. "Ready?"

Skywarp hugged his carrier one last time. "Be safe. I'll visit often and bring more letters from sire."

"I know you will, love." Overcast hugged him back. "Thank you so much."

"Told ya I would save ya. Now, just gotta get sire away."

"Be careful. I don't want the Alpha coming after you."

"Pssht!" He gave a dismissive wave. "The Alpha is deplating alive Scree. I'm the innocent bystander."

"Still, be careful."

"I will, carrier. Love you!" He nuzzled his olfactory sensor against Overcast's.

Overcast nuzzled back. "Love you more, my precious sparkling. Wish you were tiny again… I miss those orbital cycles."

"Yeah, me too. Miss having you both at once." He kissed his carrier on the cheekplates. "Be good."

Overcast smiled. "I always am. Be careful, sweetspark."

Skywarp smirked. "I always am."

Skywarp let go of his carrier, took mine and Thundercracker's servos, and next thing I saw was our apartment in Vos.

"Well, let's see how long we can hide out before my sire murders me." I grunted.

It didn't take long.

"Ack!" I yelped as I was thrown down before the dais, landing on my face.

My trinemates were held by other guards, but they didn't get shoved to the floor. Such unfair treatment…

Sire did not look amused as he sat upon his thrown adorning his royal garb, his trinemates standing on either side of him.

"Where is he?" Sire demanded.

"Where is whom? You're going to need to be more specific. There are many 'hes' in this world and I can only accurately identify a select few. Even fewer when such inadequate information has been provided."

Sire gestured to a guard and said guard smacked me across the faceplates with the blunt end of his spear.

"What the hell?!" I rubbed at my hurting visage. "Seriously? You're going to have this virgin beat me like some dog? What ever happened to sire-ly love? You don't even do that to cyberdogs! Much less your own plate and energon! Vector Sigma… This is sparkling abuse."

"Silence, Starscream." Sire snapped. "You are precisely aware of the reason I have summoned you here."

"I was not summoned. I was dragged kicking and screaming from my home."

"And biting and cursing like a freighter crewmech." Skywarp added.

"And _that_!"

"You abducted Seeker Overcast from his trineleader, Seeker Solarstrike. You got involved in another trine's business, stole what belonged to a trineleader, and continuously lied about it."

"I have not lied once nor did I 'steal' anything. Stealing is what you do when someone or something doesn't belong to you or doesn't want to go with you. Freeing someone from an abusive and neglectful situation so that they can live to see another sunrise is what I do. Get. Your. Facts. Straight." I said each word accompanied with a snap of my digits.

Sire did not like my attitude, for he gave the guard another gesture.

"Ah!" I fell over when I was struck by the spear again. "Son-of-a-whore! Don't damage my beautiful face! Just because you hope to disfigure me enough that you have a chance with someone doesn't mean you should! Give me that." I grabbed at the spear, but the guard jerked it away from me.

"I warned you, I gave you small punishments, and you still won't listen." Sire said in exasperation. "What should I do to make you learn?"

"Nothing actually ever makes me learn." I replied sassily. "I do good deeds despite what the critiques may say or do to me. The curse of being a charitable spark."

Sire stood and stepped to the edge of the dais. "You will learn, Starscream. You are a submissive and have no power, nor rights. Lock him in a cell. No energon. Summon the Captain of the Guard. I need to arrange a public flogging."

"Oh, come _on_!" I exclaimed in frustration as I was grabbed by either arm and dragged away. "You slagging idiot! You're punishing me for saving someone's life and defending the would be murderer!? You are the worst Alpha _ever_! You aren't defending your people, you're destroying us! All you care about is shoving your spike into as many breeding mates as you can and making creations you don't even take care of! When was the last time you held open court?! When was the last time you walked out and saw to your people!? When was the last time you did anything to create positive change for the Seekers?!" I screamed as I was taken away.

"I do more than you know, son." He then turned to my trinemates. "You may release them. I know he manipulated them into going along with him."

The guards released my trinemates, who gave a quick bow to the Alpha before running after me. Skycutter watched them leave before sitting back on his thrown, optics narrowed, thinking about my punishment.

"Ack!" I yelped as I was thrown into a cell within the palace. Usually these cells were used for very special prisoners or to punish guards. I would play in them with my siblings when we were younger. Silly games of robbers and police, as all sparklings do. I never once thought I would be locked in one for real. "This is bullslag! This is-!"

"Star!" Thundercracker snapped, standing outside the energy bars. " _Zip_ _it_. You're only going to make things worse for your case."

I turned around and sat on the cold floor I had been lying on from being thrown. "Case? There's no case. I was tried and sentenced already by sire." I flicked my wings. "And you thought you had sire issues. Ha!"

Thundercracker vented a sigh as he sat on the floor by the energy bars, Skywarp beside him. "Come here."

I scooted over and took his servo that he offered me. Skywarp reached through the bars as well, taking my other servo.

"Maybe we should leave town…" Thundercracker said quietly, his optics on my servo. "I don't think things will get any better for you here."

"I'm not fleeing all because sire shoved his own spike up his waste port. If sire won't help the Seekers being hurt and killed by their trineleaders, I will. Someone has to stand up for them."

"That someone doesn't have to be you."

"If not me, who then?" I looked at him. "Who else would go up against sire? Would you? Would anyone? I think it does have to be me. Sire won't kill me. I'm his son."

"He has so many, Starscream. Losing one won't effect him that much."

"You don't know my sire very well… He doesn't want to lose any of his creations. And I'm one of his creations from a prized breeding mate. I'm worth more to him. I make healthier creations. I'm not a creation he would destroy." I paused. "I was hurt. I was raped and I attempted suicide. I know where these Seekers are coming from. I'm the best they have because I am them. I'm a victim just like they are. And I defeated my abuser. Time I help them defeat theirs."

"I don't like seeing you get hurt."

"Says the one who still beats me with a cable."

"I'm allowed to hurt you. I know what you can take and do it out of love and sexual gratification. Your sire will beat you to death if one of these traditional trineleaders don't tear you apart first."

"Just… Trust me. I have to try something."

"I do trust you. And that's what concerns me…"

I faintly smiled. "Concerned that you trust me or…?"

"Trusting you is like eating my own ped. Doesn't do me any good in the end, just causes pain."

Skywarp giggled. "Should eat Scree's aft instead."

I gave a flutter of my wings. "These bars are wide enough that you could frag me through them. Would that ease your processor?"

Thundercracker raised an optical ridge, but then smirked. "You're always horny. But, so am I whenever I see you." He then stood up.

I fluttered my wings, standing up quickly, turning around, and pressing back against the bars. I removed my codpiece, feeling Thundercracker's strong arms reaching between the bars to grasp my hips and hold me close. He was inside me quickly, and soon thrusting best he could despite the bars.

It wasn't the most satisfying frag since I couldn't kiss him, or him bite my nape, or hug me close as he ravaged my body, but I needed my trinemates. I was hiding it, but I was scared. Scared of what my sire would do to me, the pain I would endure, and what would happen after my punishment. I was scared for the submissives being hurt now and continuing to be hurt. I had to save them. They needed me. I was their only hope. But what could some short, skinny prince do? A little Seeker with the obvious extra plating from having creations, always having panic attacks, crying all the time, and still not having fully discovered myself. I was still just a very young, scared Seeker who rather spend my life cuddling against my trinemates and ignoring the rest of the world than be involved in it. But if I didn't take a stand, if I didn't speak up, if I didn't fight back… Who would? Who else would know what it is like to be raped, abused, beaten, be suicidal, forced to breed, broken down, chained, torn apart, and so scared even a shadow makes you jump and cry for fear it's your trineleader behind you? Who else would know this pain, fear, and loneliness that they would want to fight it, to know exactly what these other victims feel and need? Who else is brave enough, strong enough, or stubborn enough to go against a massive, terrifying, beast of a Seeker like my sire?

No one. No one else could do it. It was up to me. And I would do my best to help my fellow Seeker since no one else would.

* * *

I was led to the plaza the next orbital cycle, my servos manacled behind my back and a royal guard on either side of me. My trinemates followed, keeping their servos on my wrists so I knew they were there.

An impressive crowd was gathered around the stage where the whipping posts were. Sire ensured everyone would be present to see a prince of Vos flogged and humiliated. Not every orbital cycle that royalty required such a thing.

I was led up the stairs, my aunts, uncles, and many of my siblings near the front. I caught a glimpse of my carrier, already crying, being made to watch by two guards on either side of her. I thought I heard one of my daughters screaming, but am not sure. I know they were there.

I was taken to the center whipping post, it looking so evil and intimidating despite simply being a metal pole protruding from the ground. My servos were freed from the manacles, only to be forced up above my helm and tightly chained to the whipping post, securing me from a thick, metal loop. I was pressed against the post as my ankles were secured to two more metal loops on either side of the post, making it so I couldn't move my legs, and spreading them out some so it was easier for me to be dominated and hurt.

I swallowed, my back in full view of the crowd, and all I could see was the metal before me. It was covered in scratches from clawing digits, and dried energon. Even some denta marks were present from the victims biting it.

I forced my wings to stay high, but I was starting to tremble, my intakes quickening. My trinemates stroked my wings, reminding me they were there, that I wasn't alone, and to try to calm me down. I was getting more and more anxious each passing astrosecond, remembering all the times I had been chained for Thundercracker to hurt me. But this was worse. This was in public, the whip probably would be multiple tails, and I would get a hell lot more lashes. And my creations, and carrier had to watch it all.

"Comfortable, Starscream?" I heard sire ask. And I would hear that same comment in such a mocking manner said to me so many more times by another abuser I would have.

I didn't want to see him. I offlined my optics, feeling myself trembling and hearing my intakes getting worse. I clenched my jaws, not wanting my denta rattling. I wanted my trinemates to hug me, protect me from sire and everyone else. I was scared. I didn't deserve this for doing what was right. Why did I have to be hurt?

"My Seekers!" Sire addressed the crowd, his vocalizer sounding through speakers so all could hear. "My son, Starscream, has committed multiple crimes against Vos. He has on numerous occasions interfered with other trine business, but most recently has abducted and hidden a submissive from their trineleader, all because he accuses the trineleader of mistreatment towards his submissive. Starscream has spread blasphemy, claiming traditionalism to be 'abuse' and condemning all those who stay to the true ways as being 'evil' and 'extreme.' He even mocks his Alpha! His actions can only be described as 'lunacy,' 'overly sensitive,' and what truly is 'extreme.' He will be flogged, humiliated, and shamed for his disobedience." Sire then unsubspaced a long, thick, multi-tailed energy whip. "Let it be learned that this is what happens to submissives who think they have any rights."

Sire turned and held the whip to Thundercracker. "Punish your submissive."

Thundercracker's wings lowered. "Sir, please, don't make me hurt-"

" _Now_!"

Thundercracker flinched, quickly showing submission to the Alpha. Hesitantly, he took the whip from sire, servos trembling some. He swallowed, telling himself that it was better he was hurting me than sire, for sire hit much harder. Thundercracker powered on the whip and stepped behind me. Skywarp was forced away from me by a guard, and I felt my spark pulsating faster in my chest.

Thundercracker exhaled heavily before swinging the whip and lashing it across my back. All the tails tearing into my plating at once, sending a stinging, burning sensation throughout my body that felt like a hundred lashes from a regular whip.

"AHHH!" I jumped, unable to move, my body arching and jerking. I felt coolant instantly filling my optics, my intakes almost hyperventilating, and my wings dropping.

"Harder." Sire ordered, no empathy in his vocalizer.

Thundercracker bit his lip plate before giving me an even harder lash, this time across my aft.

"AHHH!" I kicked, jumping, and pressed my brow against the whipping post. The coolant now leaking down my cheekplates.

"Harder."

"Please, sir, he can't-" Thundercracker almost fell from how hard sire slapped him across the faceplates.

"Obey or you'll join him." He growled.

Thundercracker rubbed his hurting cheekplates, not having felt pain and humiliation like this. He nodded, not wanting to speak as he tried regaining his composure. He turned back to me, then lashed me again.

I screamed, starting to cry now, my entire backside on fire, the burning sensation filling my entire being. I had warnings appearing on my HUD informing me I had energon leaking already. I felt like I had just endured a hundred or more lashes from Thundercracker, but it was only three from that evil whip. A whip I would learn to one orbital cycle take an entire flogging from without making a single whimper or flinch. But, that is another part of my life.

"Do not stop until I order you to. Harder." Skycutter barked.

Thundercracker kept his wings low, lashing me hard and fast, scared of what sire would do to him if he didn't, or that sire would take over and make the flogging worse. I screamed, and screamed, and screamed until my vocalizer hurt, and kept hurting until it couldn't function and only static was being emitted. I was blinded by coolant and my optics filling with static, and my wrists were tearing from how hard I was pulling at the chains. I was jerking and jumping so fiercely from the pain that I had cracked then finally shattered my cockpit from hitting the whipping post so hard. And my backside… He lashed my entire back, wings, aft, and thighs. My plating was all torn up, and I felt the tails tearing into my inner circuitry. And that pain was even worse. I was bawling, _screaming_ so fiercely, biting down on whatever I could, hurting my denta and tearing my lip plate open. I couldn't hear anything other than my screams and the whip striking my body.

And I wasn't even halfway through the flogging before I was feeling so weak I was having trouble standing. The lashes kept coming, the pain worsening, my body weakening, and no longer able to speak. I was more than a bawling mess. I was crying and screaming so hard and so savagely that I couldn't even intake, and that was causing me to overheat without getting air to my organs. And more warnings popped up on my HUD, I started to steam, and thought that this was how I would die.

I received… This is true, one thousand lashes. _That_ was how pissed sire was at me. And by the time it was over I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I wasn't able to even cry from how weak I was. I just dangled there, blankly staring into space, no longer reacting to the lashes still striking my body.

"Enough." Skycutter finally ordered.

Thundercracker handed sire the whip before running over and lifting my helm up. I had to reset my optics several times before I could make out his face, and at first I didn't recognize him from all the coolant pouring from his optics as he cried.

"I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-I'm-sorry-" He kept repeating between sobs, trying to comfort me, hold me in a way that wouldn't hurt me.

"We're not done." Skycutter grunted. "Dominate him."

Thundercracker's optics widened as he looked back at sire. "Sir, please, he's had more than enough. Let me t-take him to a hospital, p-please."

Sire suddenly lashed Thundercracker across the faceplates with the whip, causing my mate to shriek from the sudden, horrid pain.

" _NOW_!" Sire barked.

Thundercracker glared at him, smearing the leaking energon from his optics where it had dripped down from his brow. He walked behind me, hesitating before touching me. Even his gentle touch felt like hot irons to my burning body. It took all my energy to open my codpiece and valve cover. I had the side of my face pressed against the post now, able to see sire standing beside me. I blankly stared at him until Thundercracker penetrated me. It hurt, all dry and my body already suffering… And then I just narrowed my optics and glared at sire.

"Hard and fast." Skycutter ordered, holding the whip in his servo, ready to use it.

Thundercracker kept his wings low, adjusting himself before starting to thrust hard into me. I grit my denta, my entire body screaming and in excruciating pain, but I never broke my glare. I tried my best to tear into sire with daggers, ice, whatever I could from my optics. I didn't feel like I was looking at my sire. No, this was some brutish monster that I hated and wanted dead. I hate him. He wasn't the mech who cared for his creations. This was another mech who only wanted power, control, and to frag anyone who caught his fancy.

"Faster." Skycutter snapped before lashing Thundercracker hard with the whip across his back.

"AHHH!" Thundercracker jumped, clutching me, his sudden movement sending a wave of evil pain through my frame.

Thundercracker did go faster and harder, but sire lashed him again.

"Bite him." He ordered.

Thundercracker cried from the pain, but obeyed and bit hard on my nape. Another lash, and Thundercracker yelped.

"Bend his wings."

Thundercracker did so, grasping my wings and bending the already ripped things down, twisting them, and putting them back into position before repeating. I kept glaring at my sire, denta gritted, coolant streaming down my faceplates, feeling like I was about to fall apart. Sire only offered me a cold glare back, no empathy, his faceplates an enigma.

"Faster." He said it so casually as he lashed Thundercracker again, bringing us both immense suffering. "You need to learn how to control him." He lashed Thundercracker. "Harder."

He kept lashing Thundercracker, not just to keep him hurting me, but punishing him for not controlling me, not being hard enough, and for going along with me. I prayed he wouldn't hurt Skywarp. He was punished enough just watching this.

Sire forced Thundercracker to dominate me well over a breem. About two breems. My valve felt like it was going to tear, my neck was dented all over from biting, and my wings… Didn't even look like those anymore. And during the entire dominating sire flogged Thundercracker, giving him well over five hundred lashes. I was covered in Thunder's energon, and he in mine. We were both weak, in astronomical, searing pain, and severely humiliated.

"Get out of him." Skycutter ordered, giving Thunder a final lash across the faceplates.

Thundercracker quickly did so, pulling out too fast and hurting me more. My sire handed the whip to Turbine who was standing nearby.

" _This_ ," He gestured towards me. "Is what happens when a submissive disobeys. _This_ is what happens when submissives run away or otherwise attempt to leave their trineleaders or help others leave theirs. You are trined to your trineleader for _life_! Unless the trineleader wishes you gone, you must stay. The trineleader is trineleader for a reason. We know best. We punish you because you must be in order to improve your life. Obey your trineleader and punishment will not be required. Submissives are provided everything by their trineleader. Shanix, energon, a home, somewhere safe to recharge, protection, and the honor of being bred by them. Without your trineleader you would be lost, homeless, confused, starving and filthy on the streets. Trineleaders don't ask for much. While we do all the work of providing for and protecting you, we only ask that you submit to us for interface, carry our young, care for them, keep the home clean, remain presentable, and always obey our command. It is a blessing and an easy life. Those who think otherwise are delusional, brainwashed, and ungrateful." He pointed at me again. "As is the case here. He believes that trineleaders are 'abusive,' that traditionalism is 'harmful.' He has continuously fought his trineleader, once attempting suicide as the ultimate disobedience. And now he is trying to turn other submissives against those who love and care for them. He is a coward, an ungrateful brat, a troublemaker, and an extremist. And from this orbital cycle forth he is to be shunned. And if he causes any problems, if he utters but a single word of his lies, he is to be brought before me for further disciplinary action."

He approached me, studying me for a moment before continue. "This wretch is not my son. He's not even a Seeker." He growled before grasping my wings and viciously tearing them off my body.

I screamed, more a static screeching sound, the last of my energy being spent to jump and writhe. He tossed down my wings, splattering energon. He flicked his wings, overlooking the crowd, and giving my weeping carrier a threatening glare.

"Release him. I'm done with that filth." He muttered before snapping his digits for his trinemates to follow. He hopped off the stage and grabbed my carrier's wrists. "I don't know about you, but tearing those off made me hard. Come on." He started to drag carrier away.

"Let me go! Skycutter!" Carrier shouted, struggling to get away, but he was too strong. "My sparkling!" She kept trying to get to me as sire dragged her off.

I was released from my chains and caught by my trinemates as I collapsed. I tried standing, but couldn't get my peds beneath me. I suddenly found myself looking into the faces of my creations. Zephyr holding my helm up, Storm and Strikeblade helping Thundercracker, and the others doing their best to assist.

Next thing I knew we were in a hospital and a doctor was seeing to my wounds. I heard Skywarp crying, someone said something about me not making it, and then I think someone said I was an idiot. Whatever that was about. I was soon in stasis lock and out for quite some time.

* * *

It took me a decacycle to fully recover from that flogging… Thundercracker was recovered in an orn, and during my healing he never once left me. He stayed by me, hugging me close, and shielding me from all threats. Zephyr stayed with us during my recovery to help. Skywarp was not handling any of this well and started to receive death threats from Solarstrike. Like, serious, legit death threats. Not the rude, sparkling comments grounders make when they're pissy online. Like, Solarstrike was going to actually kill Skywarp for helping free Overcast. And seeing how Solarstrike tried to kill him multiple times while a sparkling, he was a serious threat.

I felt awful, not so much because I was dying, which I did feel awful from that, but also just knowing that now it would be even harder to reach out and help these submissives now since their trineleaders know to avoid me. And that I was to be shunned by them. And now the submissives would be scared to interact with me or even speak my designation.

Things were not going well at all, and my depression really was hitting me hard. Even after I was fully repaired I refused to leave my berth. I just lied there, crying a lot, not wanting to do anything despite telling myself I needed to do things. I couldn't even get myself to refuel. I was just so broken down. But, the worse was yet to come.

It was a little over two decacycles since the flogging when I got the news. I was sitting on the window shelf in my room overlooking Vos before me, watching the birds flying and the freighter ships take off and land from the space port. There was a knock on my door, my wings perking, but I didn't otherwise move.

"Come in!" I called.

Thundercracker palmed open the door and entered, Skywarp with him. They both looked upset and nervous. I eyed them when I finally looked over.

"What's wrong?" I asked slowly.

Thundercracker vented a sigh before speaking. "Your carrier called me. She… Something bad happened."

My optics widened a little, quickly getting my peds off the shelf and onto the floor. "Is carrier alright? My aunts? Uncles? Siblings?"

"One of your siblings… One of our in-laws… Is not okay."

"Which one?" I stood up, but Thundercracker made me sit back down.

He sat beside me, taking my servos in his, biting his lip plate, silent a moment before speaking. "Maelstrom committed suicide last night… Nacreous found her. She shot herself."

I felt like I had been shot myself through the spark. It plummeted inside me, the cables in my neck tightening to the point I could barely cycle air. I felt so… Empty. Shocked, horrified, and in disbelief.

"What?" I was surprised how weak and quiet my vocalizer was despite trying to be loud.

"She somehow got hold of one of Nacreous' guns and hid it until she got the chance. It was instant." He swallowed. "Nacreous heard the shot and found her. He's having a funeral for her tomorrow. Your carrier asked us to attend." He paused. "I'm so sorry, Star. I wish we could of saved her."

I had coolant pouring down my cheekplates, feeling so devastated, and just… I failed her. I _had_ her. I had gotten her away. I should of done what I had done with Overcast and taken her to another city, taken her to one of the moons, anywhere but stay here in Vos! Why hadn't I have done that?! Because I didn't think she was now gone. Because I actually trusted my brother enough to keep his word. Because I screwed up a beautiful, kind, amazing Seeker was gone. She had lived a life of absolute hell when she should have been treated like a queen. Her twenty-seven creations now had lost their carrier, Stardust her trinemate, and all of Maelstrom's family now having to deal with this tragedy. A tragedy that I could have prevented if I had done more.

I was so angry with myself, but a fire raged inside me for my abusive, evil brother who had forced her into this course of action.

"It's my fault." I finally choked out. "I-I could of saved her!"

"It's not your fault, Star. Even if we did get her out we don't-"

"It's my fault! I _failed_ her! I-I could o-of saved her and gotten her help. I could of-"

"We don't know what would have happened. Even getting people away from their abuser doesn't mean we can save them from themselves. She may have committed suicide despite escaping him. She was that broken." Thundercracker said firmly, trying to calm me down.

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT?! I-I had her!"

"Star, you need to calm-"

"She's _dead_ because I didn't do enough! She died alone, feeling like everyone hated her. I didn't hate her. I loved her. I cared for her." I was crying harder, remembering how I felt when I attempted suicide. That awful, lonely, just… It was the worst feeling anyone could feel. "I-I wanted to s-save her. She deserved better."

"She did deserve better. I know you wanted to save her. We all did. But fate-"

"Frag fate. She didn't deserve this. I should of saved her."

"She died knowing we still cared for her. That's something."

"She committed suicide!"

"Scree…" Skywarp swallowed, coolant streaming down his cheekplates. "Don't be mad at us. W-we are just as upset."

I swallowed. He was right. Lashing out at them wouldn't alleviate the situation nor was necessary. I glared bitterly out the window at Vos, her spirals and towers reflecting the sunlight in an array of bright colors. The city of hidden horrors.

I may have failed Maelstrom, but I wasn't going to fail all the others suffering from traditionalism. I wasn't going to stand by and let this happen anymore. I wasn't a spectator. This would end now.

Even if I had to fight my sire or become Alpha, I would end this.

And I made a vow to myself that moment that this was the sole reason I existed: To end traditionalism, even if it meant I died a martyr.

* * *

 **Sorry for taking so long to post/update. Crazy roommate went psycho because of her abusive boyfriend telling her lies about me and the other roommate. She has lost it so much she even went against veganism to please her boyfriend. Who, may I remind you, is MARRIED with kids AND seeing other mistresses! Well, psycho roommate hurt my puppy and that was the final straw. Me and good roommate snuck out and moved somewhere else. Puppy and kitty are safe with us now, all our stuff is moved, and psycho roommate is sending us nasty texts and freaking out.**

 **Due to rushing to move so fast we had no internet for a week. JUST got it installed so now I am able to post this that I finished the other day.**

 **Puppy is doing well. She is 16 weeks, 22lbs, lost 4 baby teeth, is all legs, and her ears are starting to stand. Still insane and making me have to run all over the place. And she was not scared of the fireworks for Fourth of July.**

 **Anyway, notes on the chapter...**

 **So, you need to always tell children they control their bodies and not force them to hug or touch anyone if they don't want to. By making them hug or otherwise physically interact against their will simply shows them that they don't make the rules for their bodies, other people do. And this will later harm them in their sexual lives. So, let kids decide what they want to do. If they don't hug you, so what? Kids rather run around playing! They'll hug if they want to and feel comfortable doing so.**

 **But, telling someone they have control of their body still does not condone abortion which is simply killing someone. Remember, that is someone else's body in you. You don't have the right to kill them. But, you have control over your body in regards to using birth control, sterilization, not having sex, etc. But don't harm someone because you weren't responsible.**

 **Star is the best grandma! He pampers his grandbabies good! :3**

 **And, a reminder, not all abusers change. TC may have changed, but the majority don't. So, please, don't use my fic to justify staying with your abuser. Maybe your abuser is the rare ones who will realize they are wrong and change, but the majority of the time they do NOT change. In fact, they tend to get worse. And sometimes that leads to death.**

 **Don't you just love all the violent greetings/farewells/sayings Seekers have? Ah, warrior cultures are the most fun to write about. XD**

 **The comment about Star saying you could tell what was happening on the outside as he sucked TC is because during hardcore fellatio the throat of the person deep throating is... Well, you can see the dick pushing in and making the throat bulge out.**

 **And, again, just because something is legal does NOT make it right or good. Just as it's legal for Seekers to abuse, rape, and even kill each other, it's not right. And we see the same happening to non-human animals and children in the real world. We do NOT need to eat, wear, or use animals for food, clothing, entertainment, etc. It may be legal right now, but it's not necessary nor right, and only does harm to them, to us, and the planet. And the same goes with children. Just because it's legal to hit and scream at your children does NOT make it right. It only does harm to the child psychologically and physically.**

 **Mental chains are a big issue. It's what makes people not get involved when they see abuse because their mental chains tells them it's "not their business." It's what makes people think they need to eat animals, or that certain species are "lesser," or that you can't go save an animal or child from their abuser. It's what keeps you with your abuser, keeps you running away from a bad relationship, abusive parents, or speaking up. Mental chains are drilled into us from a young age and are so hard to break. And for these Seekers, their mental chains is they must obey their trineleader no matter what. It's not easy to break free of something they have been told since babies.**

 **I also want to point out the attacks on activists. Starscream is being called "extreme" for wanting abuse to end. The same is said to vegans/animal rights activists for fighting against cruelties done to humans and non-human animals. This is done to us by those who profit off of harming others and refuse to change. It's a common tactic of abusers: Make the person calling them out seem like the real issue when it's actually them.**

 **I can't tell you how many times I've been called an "extremist," a "terrorist," or someone claim vegans "profit off" animal abuse. No, we don't. It's not fun being an activist because you have to deal with the attacks, physical and verbal. You have to see this abuse and horror, and it causes psychological trauma. You are in a constant struggle against evil and evil attacks you in every way.**

 **I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't need to be an activist. If the world was vegan, TRUE vegan and therefore kind to ALL, I would be so happy and never talk to anyone since there's no need. But, there are lives being tortured, raped, exploited, and killed. I HAVE to speak up and educate about these horrors. I HAVE to stop them. I HAVE to turn people into TRUE vegans.**

 **If I got a penny every time someone insulted or attacked me, not even exaggerating, I would be a billionaire. Everyday I wake up to find more threats and insults on my facebook, my deviantART, on these fic websites... Why? All because I point out that harming others is wrong? For promoting peace, love, and compassion? I'm not a hypocrite. I'm not hurting anyone. I want compassion for ALL. And yet these evil people are trying to make ME the "monster."**

 **And that is what is happening to Starscream. Just like us vegans/activists, he's being labelled the "extremist" and "terrorist" for spreading the truth, fighting for justice/peace, and doing the RIGHT thing. And he's not benefiting from it at all. He just got flogged in public. If he benefited off this, he would be rich or something. Not in pain and crying.**

 **And that is the life of activists. We fight for the victims, for what's RIGHT, but we're labeled the "monsters."**

 **And Skycutter punished Moonlight further by keeping her away from her wounded son to instead rape her. Showing his control over her and the situation. Establishing his dominion over the Seekers. He's the boss, he does what he wants, and it doesn't effect him.**

 **So... I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. Please, comment, fave, share, draw fanart, tell your friends, and GO VEGAN! And, as always, feel free to ask me questions on the fic, veganism, animal/human rights, or if you just want to chat. :3**


	27. Chaos in Vos

**Chapter 27**

I quietly walked by Skyfire in the lab, hoping he wouldn't notice and I would be able to get through the orbital cycle without hearing anything from him. But, alas, he's like Skywarp and has some special sense or part, organ, whatever that enables him to always know where I am at all times. And he has what Thundercracker has allowing him to always know if I'm upset or lying. Where they got these super powers, I will never know. But I hate them for it.

"Star? Love?" His gentle vocalizer sounded, and I stopped, my wings lowering.

"Not now, Skyfire. I don't want to talk." I replied exhaustedly.

But those who love me never listen to me. I felt his arms wrapping around me, giving me a firm, protective hug. He just held me close for a few moments before gently turning me around and lifting my chin up. I tried not to look at him, but I couldn't avoid it for long. Those cerulean optics gazing down at me with such love, worry, and sympathy. I hate them. But I needed them. He cupped my faceplates with a servo, and I couldn't help but hold the back of that massive servo with my own small one.

"I saw on the news what happened." He said still softly. "I visited you in the hospital while you were in stasis lock. I should of visited you at your home, but Thundercracker told me you needed space."

"I did. I didn't want you seeing me like that…" I quietly spoke, feeling my neck cables tightening on the inside.

"I know… I'm sorry that happened. I'm so sorry, my love."

"Me being publically flogged and humiliated is the least of my concerns now… Sire told the Seekers that I'm a liar and all around terrible person, and to avoid me at all costs. That's going to effect my activism and education immensely… But, the real atrocity is my sister-in-law, Maelstrom, committed suicide three orbital cycles ago because of the abuse Nacreous had done to her. And I was so close to saving her." I swallowed as coolant started to pool in my optics, remember what she looked like last I saw her.

Skyfire's wings lowered. "I'm so sorry, Star… I… I don't know what else to say."

"There's nothing else that needs to be said. Action needs to be taken. I have to stop traditionals. I need to save submissives from abusive dominants. That's all I need to focus on."

"You also need to take care of yourself."

"I will."

"How are you going to help the submissives?"

"Of how much I would love to beat the slag out of their abusers, Thundercracker advices against such actions."

"I do as well."

"I need to educate and turn this mindset around. Since sire won't do anything, but be an ineffective Alpha…"

"Why don't you become the Alpha?"

I gave him a look. "Tiny, weak, pathetic me who's scared of my own shadow? Yeah, I would die in a spark pulse."

"You're not weak or pathetic…"

"Seriously? Look at me." I gestured to myself. "Everything about me screams 'weakling' and 'bite size punching bag.' No, I couldn't defeat sire… I would need to best him in combat and kill him. And I clearly can't do that."

"Because he's your sire?"

"What? No. Sire or not I would kill for leadership. But he's fragging _huge_! He eats mechs my size for morning refuel."

"You defeated Thundercracker and he's much larger than you."

"Yeah, that's because I know him and got lucky. But he still controls me in the berthroom!"

"Don't… I don't need to know that stuff."

"I can't defeat sire in combat. That's impossible. I have to do this the old fashion way of education and trying to make people see reality as I did with my Thunderthighs."

"Do not call him that around me."

"If you get accepted into my trine, everyone frags each other and you'll be living with us. So… You're going to have to get use to it."

"But that orbital cycle is a ways away. So, until then, no weird, sexual nicknames."

"Can I call you weird, sexual nicknames?"

"Depends."

I faintly smirked. "Thunderaft."

"Absolutely not."

I stood on the tips of my peds to peck a kiss to his cheekplates. He smiled, cupping my face and giving me a full kiss on the lip plates.

"I love you. And I'll help and protect you however I can."

I nodded. I knew he would. He's my Skyfire, and he loved me. At least until Autobots snatched him away from me.

"I need help making pamphlets." I finally said. "I want them to be small and easy to hide, but to contain information on psychological, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse, as well as the signs of an abuser, and mental health. And what to do if you feel suicidal, how to reach out for help, how to talk to your abuser, and a code."

"A code?"

I nodded. "I-I want to invent a code so submissives can communicate to each other without their trineleaders knowing. And them have a way to reach me or someone else who can help them. I'm going to meet with a submissive later this orn and we're making a frequency for submissives to be able to use. So no dominant can find it and break it."

Skyfire held my servos, pausing as he adjusted himself from being on his knee so long. "That sounds like a terrific idea, my little Star."

"I got it from Miss Crimson."

"Who?"

I unsubspaced the card I had gotten so long ago. "Miss Crimson was one of Zephyr's primary school teachers. She talked to me about Thundercracker's abuse when Zephyr was drawing pictures of me and Skywarp being hurt. She gave me this card to call for help. I never did, but… I was able to keep it hidden from Thundercracker all this time. He still doesn't know. I'm scared to tell him. And it had someone I could reach out to for help."

"Why are you scared to tell him?"

"I don't want him knowing anymore of how much his abuse effected my life and his creations. He's hurt by what he does know. He regrets it and has made the necessary changes. No need to bring up the past."

"So, who is this submissive you're meeting with, my beautiful, precious, perfect love?"

I gave him a look.

* * *

"Hey, hey! What's up, shortstuff! Been a while, hasn't it?"

"Hello, Bitstream." I replied calmly, standing before him with wings held high, my trinemates in perfect formation behind me, their faceplates an enigma, no movement or emotion from them as it should be. "Is it safe to come in?"

"Yeah, the hothelm won't be home for a few more joors." He stepped aside and gestured us in. "Don't mind the turbofoxes. They only bite if you piss around like a femme in heat."

Charming.

I entered with my trinemates behind me, noticing the perfectly clean apartment, and two large turbofoxes on the couch. Their yellow optics were judgmental at first, but then they leaped off the couch and came bolting over with wagging tails.

"Just ignore them and they won't jump. That's Daemon, the bigger one with the black on him, and Dike is the smaller one. These are my sparklings." He started to pet them as he talked to them all… sappy and sparkling-y. "Who's sire's sparklings? Who is? Yes, you are!"

"Ahem." I grunted. "Not to impose or otherwise disturb you in your saccharine moment, but I came for business."

Bitstream smiled as his foxes licked him with kisses all over his faceplates. "Right." He stood up, gently pushing them away. "Business for…?"

"Undetectable commlink frequency with a code."

"Spy work?"

"You might say."

He studied me a moment, smirking. "You know, last time I saw you you were just some submissive carrier with a trineleader in prison. And now look at you. All acting in charge with big blue trained like a beaten cyberdog behind you. What was the event that changed that?" He stepped over to Thundercracker and started to snap his digits in Thunder's face, trying to break him.

I flicked my wings, not appreciating the disrespect to my submissive. "I took over and now lead this trine. But I do not beat my submissives."

"No? Then how come you got these two so well behaved?" Her poked at Thundercracker now.

"With love."

Bitstream looked at me, then laughed. "'With love.' Yeah, I'll be sure to tell Hotlink that next time he decides to use the whip on me."

I eyed him, feeling tense and nervous. I wasn't use to this "tough guy" act and felt like it wasn't me. That I was pretending to be someone else. But, I reminded myself that when I was pissed, this was who I was. So, I wasn't acting or being someone else. But, the fear wouldn't leave. I was scared of this larger Seeker. He could hurt me and there wasn't much I could do to fight back. He was triggering me by talking about punishment, and his attitude… I was fighting back panic, trying to remain cool, calm, and fearless.

"Back to business, Bitstream. I want my frequency and code."

"Mhmm, sure you do, Twinkles. But, what does ol' Bitsy get in return?" He held out his servos as if to gesture to some magical thing before him.

I narrowed my optics, keeping my wings raised. "Shanix."

"Shanix? What, like, five? Or did you whore yourself out enough to make enough to sound somewhat reasonable?"

"Ten thousand. No more."

Bitstream raised an optical ridge. "How did a scrawny thing with extra abdominal plating like you make that?" He poked my abdomen to emphasize. "Or am I right about the whoring?"

"I was a professor at the Iacon Science Academy as well as a head researcher. I have Shanix. Lots of it. And you can have some if you do as I ask."

"What is this even all for?"

"Do you hate being flogged by your trineleader?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"It's to stop it and help submissives."

He paused, digit tips from his right servo pressed against his lip plates as he thought. "So, it's about that abuse slag, isn't it? The reason your old mech had you flogged in front of everyone. Which, doesn't seem like he knows you're trineleader given how he kept calling you a submissive."

"No one else knows, and they don't need to. And, yes, it's about ending the abuse from traditional trines." I paused. "If you don't want to help and rather live with the sting of the whip, then fine. I'll take my Shanix elsewhere." I unsubspaced a bag to show him that I did indeed have that amount. "Come." I snapped my digits as I started to walk away, my trinemates obediently following.

Bitstream's wings raised. "Wait."

I stopped, not moving or looking back so he wouldn't see the smirk on my visage.

He hesitated, wings lowering, thinking a moment more before speaking. "I'll do it. And I'll do more."

I turned and looked back, my smile growing. "More?"

"I can set up more than just a frequency or code. I can provide safeguards so trineleaders can't trace where their submissives go online, and I can hack into the frequencies of anything. Commlinks, news, cameras, you designate it. I can be of great service." He paused. "And if you ever want a great frag, sexy hips…" He gave me a lustful smirk.

Thundercracker and Skywarp instantly flared their wings, leaped into attack mode, and aimed their weapons at Bitstream. Bitstream didn't even budge, instead he chuckled.

"Good, dogs. Protect your master."

I stepped between my trinemates and snapped my digits. They instantly lowered their weapons and stood in formation behind me once again.

"Don't ever hit on me again. I am faithful to my trine and don't need anyone else." You slagging liar… Go eat slag and die. "Now, let's get to work before _your_ master returns."

"Right. Let me let Sunstorm out." He then turned and walked to a closet door. He took a moment to unlock it, and get the door open, to which a scared and upset Sunstorm tumbled out of.

"Stop locking me in the closet!" Sunstorm cried, shoving at his trinemate in his rage, but then hugging him for comfort.

Bitstream chuckled. "I do it out of love, Sunshine. Sunny, remember the submissive who had a trineleader in prison?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, _he's_ now trineleader and he wants to help us submissives with being beaten all the time."

Sunstorm perked his wings. "I'm never beaten… And how?"

"Well… We're still going over those details. But, I feel like a good thing is going for us with him."

Sunstorm looked at me a moment. "I'm sorry… I forgot your designation. Remind me?"

I opened my mouth to say it, but Bitstream beat me. "Twinkles."

The designation did not stick… And just so everyone knows, Bitstream regrets all the times he's hit on me once I became the Decepticon Second in Command and everyone was watching me and those around me. He was made fun of a lot. Of course, those mocking him also wanted to bang me. It's not easy being this fabulous and gorgeous.

* * *

I would be seeing Bitstream a lot to create the code, the frequency, and produce my pamphlets in data slugs with holograms so that the information could be read directly from them or them inserted to the brain module or a computer. That way, they could be read by anyone at any time and easily hidden from trineleaders, even those who dig through subspace pockets. Working with Bitstream so much was not the most enjoyable, and it never will be for our time during the Great War, but the interface addict is good with computers and all things programs.

The most annoying thing he did was one point I was alone with him and he kept touching my aft, even smacking it. I punched him in the mouth, and that got him behaving for a joor until Thundercracker came back and protected me.

We produced five hundred of the slug pamphlets. The next step was to disperse them, but no one trusted me. I was a criminal, practically. So, I had to depend on Sunstorm and Bitstream to give them to their submissive friends who would then give them to other submissives. I gave some to my creations and nephews who gave them to other submissives, and to my grandcreations who gave them to their friends, who in turn gave them to their abused carriers.

It was slow at first, being careful and handing them out, but it started to work. The frequency for private chat was being used so submissives could talk to each other without fear. And I started to receive calls from crying Seekers needing help and comfort.

It was hard. Triggering and tearing me apart, hearing about their pain, being reminded of what happened to me. And sometimes their stories were worse.

The worst calls had to been the abortion ones. And I don't mean the horrid abortion of simply killing a sparkling because they are unwanted as grounders tend to do in a clinic. No, I mean what trineleaders do to their submissives if they don't like the sparkling. If an ultrasound reveals that a sparkling isn't a Seeker, or is missing a limb, or may have some physical or mental deformity… The trineleader will physically rip them out of the carrier's body and destroy the protoform. This is because being able to create healthy, strong sparklings is how trineleaders show off how great their CNA is , how terrific their reproduction ability is, that they can create only health and fierce Seeker warriors, and all about pride. It's a show of prizes. The more sparklings you make and the healthier they are, the better you look, and the more respect you get. That's why Skycutter has over six hundred creations…

Listening to the calls from the Seekers who had to hold the ripped apart body of their unborn sparklings, crying their spark out all because their creation didn't look right, or had a mental illness, or that the carrier had been raped and was carrying the creation of a grounder… I broke down crying. If I had to hold one of my dead creations… I don't think I could make it. Skywarp had to do it, but at least his sparkling hadn't been murdered by Thundercracker. It was an unpreventable tragedy. These deaths were preventable. And some of these disabilities could be healed. Missing limbs replaced when they are old enough for a procedure. And mental illnesses doesn't mean their quality of life is less. I may not have been born with a mental illness, but I certainly suffer from several now. And I don't want anyone to kill me and think it's "better" that way.

The story that got to me the most was from one Seeker mech who said his ninth daughter was torn from his body all because his trineleader was tired of him only giving him femmes. He wanted a mechling. So, he killed his daughter, and once the carrier was healed enough sparked him immediately. And it was another femmling. And that one was killed to before the carrier was horrifically beaten and locked in a closet for an orn. He had to live in his own waste, unable to clean himself or move. And when the trineleader finally let him out and saw the mess he was beaten so badly he had to be hospitalized.

And it was in the hospital that he got one of my pamphlets and called me.

They were beginning to recognize that this wasn't normal. That this wasn't right. Not all submissives, of course. Many are trapped in the lie. The ones who seem most eager to escape are those who lost their sparklings to the lie, or were so beaten they couldn't live anymore like this.

As the numbers grew, we had to create more pamphlets and smuggle them to more Seekers. And then, we were able to create support groups for the Seekers who could get away even if for a joor or when their trineleaders were at work.

The most help was when non-traditional trineleaders got involved. Having trineleaders on our side really boosted the movement. They were trineleaders, they were respected, and they could talk to the traditional trineleaders. They could get them to make changes, even if a little. Better than nothing.

My home was like a smuggler's den. My trine and I joked that we were Syk dealers, but terrible at it since we weren't making any profit off it. But, if I lost all my Shanix saving some lives, then it was all worth it. All of it.

It was a stellar cycle of making and smuggling these pamphlets before I actually met my first traditional trineleader who wanted to make a change. He had gotten a hold of a pamphlet and managed to get onto the comm frequencies. Hearing the stories, the pain, and horrors from all these abused Seekers broke him. He disposed of all his whips, cables, chains, and everything else he had hurt a trinemate with, and immediately came to find me.

His designation was Fallstreak, sire of thirty-two, several still quite young, and an intimidating Seeker. He was large like Thundercracker, but his jaw was thicker making him look grumpier than my dearest Thunder, and he had done worse to his submissives than Thunder had done to me and Warp.

And having him on our side really helped turn the tide. With his suggestion, we created a new pamphlet, but this one aimed to the trineleaders. It explained all about the different kinds of abuse and what it does to someone, but we filled them with actual stories from the victims. No designations given, trying to make it as safe as we could for those telling them so their trineleaders never found out.

Then, the trineleaders on our side began to disperse those to other trineleaders.

It was going well for another five decacycles before I found myself in trouble again.

"Oh, hah, argh!" I cried, clutching Skywarp, my optics closed, not wanting to see what was happening.

Thundercracker was behind me, thrusting fiercely into me as Skywarp took me from the front. The wind whipped by, the only real sound I could hear as we plummeted.

Yes, Seekers not only interface all the time in the skies, but we also frequent interfacing while falling to our deaths. Should try it sometime. It really makes you rethink your life and wonder what moron first started this trend. Seekers and fragging in our home, the sky. Our one true love.

"Ah, ah, ah, AH, oh! Nrrrgh!" I clenched my jaws, wishing I wasn't tumbling around.

My trinemates activated their thrusters, holding me tight so I wouldn't fall. I activated mine after them, trying to adjust myself, growling as they bit my neck and shoulders harder.

"Just, ah, overload me already!" I growled, flicking my wings, feeling them slowly take me back up for we were too close to the ground at this point to keep falling.

"If you keep ordering us I will beat your aft in front of all the air traffic." Thundercracker snapped, grabbing my neck and forcing my helm back.

"Maybe I want to get it beaten in front of everyone! Voyeurism! I want a crowd to watch me be put over your knee and beaten, then made to suck you, and then you frag me senseless as I wear a collar and chain, and you whip me with a crop, and I call you sire." I smirked.

"Ew." Thundercracker flicked his wings. "You call me 'sire' one more time and I'll-"

"Turn me over your knee in public and-"

"Stop."

"Yes, sire." I smiled wickedly.

"Okay, someone is going to the adult store and picking out the cane I'm going to use on your aft."

"No, not a cane… Please, something else?"

"No. You hate it so that's why it's going to be used, brat."

I crossed my arms. "Yes, sir. But, do I at least dress up for you?"

Skywarp giggled. "You should be dressed as a rock-lob!"

"What? No! Why would you suggest that? It could never even be sexy even if you could fabricate a scenario where that would work… No."

"Bestiality."

"Okay, Skywarp, that's too far."

"Yeah, too far." Thundercracker gave him a disapproving look.

My wings perked as two Seekers flew over, then transformed. They were Royal Guards and I knew my aft was about to go though hell.

"Seeker Starscream." One addressed me, not calling me a prince. "The Alpha summons your presence."

Yup, my aft was so going to suffer.

"What is this?" Sire demanded as he sat at his desk, placing one of my pamphlets before me.

I sat before his desk, alone in his office, my trinemates not allowed to enter. My wings perked, studying the slug.

"I have one. Someone gave it to me." I said casually. "Not bad advice in it."

"This is from you. I know it is." He glared dangerously at me.

"You have no evidence, and why does it matter to you?"

"You are defying my orders and going behind my back, _again_!"

"To be honest, your orders kinda suck. Like, not even a good suck. Like, a really gross, oily, lumpy, flaccid spike suck kind of suck."

He stood up, palms on his desk as he leered over me. "This isn't a joke, Starscream." He growled.

"Sucking spikes _is_ serious business." I gave him a serious look as I said it like I meant it. "You know how hard I work to please my mech? Like, I practiced with a pipe until I could get it all the way back there without gagging. I can take it _all_ in. That is skill to deep throat that much spike. Ah!" I yelped when he slapped me. Which, I may have deserved.

"I know you couldn't have made these yourself. Who helped you?"

I rubbed my hurting cheekplates, fighting back my panic. "I'm insulted. You really think I couldn't do this all on my lonesome? Well, if you're judging me by what I got from you, yeah, that would be hard to believe. Ah!" I received another slap.

" _Who_ helped you?"

"No one! I did it myself! Ah!" I jumped back after that slap, putting some distance between me and sire.

Skycutter simple walked around his desk and stomped over to me. "I told you that this was _ending_ , Starscream." He said dangerously before grabbing my wrist.

I felt my spark dropping, my wings low, and trying not to panic. I was suddenly terrified, seeing Thundercracker before me when he hurt me. Then I remembered the public flogging, and I lost it.

"Sire, _please_!" I fell to my knees, engulfed with fear. " _Don't_!"

"Oh, now you beg? You disrespectful brat." He snarled, yanking me to my peds and dragging me to the desk.

"Sire, don't hurt me! Please! I'm sorry!" I was so scared, and I couldn't take the pain from sire. I couldn't go through another flogging!

He of course didn't care what I had to say. He held my wrist as he opened the drawer to his torture equipment he kept in his office for whenever he needed to punish a breeding mate in this room, or some other poor fool who displeased him.

I was already starting to cry and the pain hadn't even begun. He tied me to this wretched thing lovingly referred to as a "rack." It was basically an X shape, and on each outward branch of it a limb was tied down at the wrist and ankle. Then, another strap over the lower back, making movement impossible. The wings were then tethered down by chains over the ends, keeping those from moving, and the neck tied down by a metal collar-like shackle. So, your face was looking through a circular hole. A metal loop keeping your helm in place, and your face was inside a hole that allowed you to see the floor. But, instead of the floor it was a mirror so you could watch yourself cry.

I couldn't move anything, and just was trembling so hard my denta were rattling. I had seen sire use this before on some of my aunts and uncles when I was growing up. It always scared me. And now here I was, going through something I had always been told would never happen to me from my sire.

Such lies.

"AHHH!" I scream when sire started to beat the absolute slag out of my aft and wings with a metal cable. I was a sobbing mess in no time, bawling my optics out, trying to kick, to squirm, anything, but unable to. I felt like I was going to die here. Unable to fight back as my own sire beat me to death.

I screamed, and cried, and begged, but he kept beating me. Not giving me a moment's respite from the abuse. And when I thought it was finally over, when I was in so much pain I couldn't even think right, after several hundred lashes of the cable… He grabbed an energy whip and powered it on.

He flogged my aft, thighs, back, and wings. And all I could do was scream and beg. And just think about how much my own sire hatred me. And how much I hated him for not only doing this to me, but having done this to my aunts, and uncles, and carrier. And encouraging other trineleaders to do it to their trinemates.

I hated him. I wanted him dead.

He flogged me for quite some time, giving me several hundred lashes. Thank Primus it was only one tail… Small mercies. He untied me once he was through with me, and all I could do was fall down and cry. He yanked my by my burning wing and dragged me out his office and threw me out the door. I landed on my face, in too much pain and distress to move. I just cried, bawling out my pain. I found myself being gently picked up by my trinemates, and finally being carried bridal style by Thundercracker. I clung to him, too scared to let go. I bawled my spark out into his shoulder, trembling, and thinking about how much my sire hated me, and how much I hated him.

My trinemates took me home, and I managed to blabber out that sire knew about the pamphlets. They gathered the pamphlets up as quickly as they could, and Skywarp teleported them away somewhere to be hidden. We contacted Bitstream and warned him, and he managed to get the warning out to those who had the pamphlets, since he somehow tracked them all.

I think we warned everyone in time for them to hide or even dispose of the pamphlets before sire started to warn trineleaders about my "lies" spreading via data slugs. I hope no one was caught with them. But, as far as I know, no one was.

When we were sure things were safe, my trinemates attended to my wounds, and just hugged me for the rest of the orbital cycle. Thundercracker called Skyfire for me, and my precious, awkward shuttle came to comfort me with his stupid, beautiful face.

I needed them during this hard time. I had to basically take a break from activism to keep sire off my aft. I noticed royal guards flying by my apartment more. He was watching me. Even caught the Elite Trine passing a couple of times. I made sure to flip him off when I saw him.

But, despite me being stuck, my work was still out there, the message still being spread. Skywarp got the pamphlets to some non-traditional trineleaders, and they took over spreading them out and helping Bitstream make more of them. They even gave Bitstream Shanix so he could work less joors at his job to have more time to focus on this task. And his trineleader wouldn't notice any decrease in the bank.

We're not stupid, even if we're submissives or non-traditionals. We were staying ten steps ahead of sire and the traditionals. It was a game we were playing at this point. Smuggling the truth that would destroy them, and keeping them from finding us to stop them.

Not everyone got away unnoticed. Submissives were being punished and flogged in public for being found with the pamphlets or talking about their treatment being abuse. But what really got interesting was when riots started to break out. Oh, I was so proud that I was the cause of riots. Riots comprised of submissives and non-traditionals, and them getting into fights with traditional trineleaders. Then the graffiti that was left on sire's statue in the plaza, and all over the stage with the whipping posts. Graffiti mocking the Alpha and traditional trineleaders, writings spreading information about abuse, and then, I started to see graffiti praising me.

That really ticked off the traditionals. My designation started to appear in more places. Written on walls, on the news, and whispered by the subjugated. And I found myself having secret meetings with submissives, in the underground caverns of Vos, where I could finally speak freely and tell them about my past, my abuse, how it effected me, and why it was wrong. Why no one should be abused, and why traditionalism, much of it, is a load of slag.

And they listened. The skeptics were changed, the movement was growing, and despite it feeling like it was taking forever, it was only a few stellar cycles.

It wasn't as fast as I would like, but many couldn't see the abuse because of the lies they had been told. Many couldn't get out to listen to me or get a pamphlet for so long. Many just were scared of change and clung to the only thing they knew. And traditional trineleaders were cracking down on their submissives and monitoring everything.

But, the big break came when sire had to take a break from beating me constantly and spying on me to focus on legal matters. Things were becoming worse with the Senate and Sentinel Prime's corruption. Cybertron was being thrown in more and more turmoil, and crime was getting worse.

The Functionists were abducting people almost constantly to remove memories and alter their minds with mnemosurgery, and Shadowplay was quite popular with them. Then, there was panic about Cybertron's resources and needing to go deeper with mining, or even to other worlds to find more energy sources.

With Vos being the largest spacesport on the planet, and a great interest to power hungry Senators and Functionists, sire had to get heavily involved in politics and controlling his city. The Alpha owns most of Vos and runs it, primarily the spaceport. It has been this way since Vos first rose from the ground, and few questioned the reign. But now… Quite many were questioning it.

For the first time the Senate wanted Vos and the spaceports to be theirs. The Prime wanted it. And of course sire would not give it to them. Not to some foreign grounders. And the Functionists did not like a Seeker telling them what to do.

Sire had to pull back his forces against me to fortify the palace and be in constant debates with the Senate and Prime. I snatched that opportunity. I grabbed it and tore it open. I started to throw out as many pamphlets as I could, held more meetings, and talked to everyone I met on the streets. I was attacked, sure, but Thundercracker is a great bodyguard.

But, with the turmoil of Seekers and the senate now knocking on Vos' door, murders and chaos took over the city of Vos. And I was scared. I watched my home go from fighting for peace and freedom, to just survival. Grounders, fueled by the Functionists, swarmed into our city and started to kill and rape Seekers, and we of course fought back. And while we fought against the Functionists and Skycutter against the Senate, we also were fighting amongst ourselves.

Fires and bombs were becoming frequent in the streets, and I begged my creations to move elsewhere until it ended, but, no where else was faring any better. It was as if a switch went off and all the problems of the world were crashing down at once.

The Senate, Sentinel Prime, and the Functionists had always been a problem for many vorns. And they caused the deaths, riots, panic, and havoc all over Cybertron and her moons for as long as they had been around. Ever since the Clampdown things had been worse, not that I was even born before that time. But, the longer it lasted, things got worse.

I was shoved in the face by a datapad and told to read it. That so much change was happening because of it, and that the change I was making in Vos reminded them of this datapad. I had been given it by another Seeker, and I still have this datapad to this orbital cycle.

I turned it on, and read the title, and the rest of my life would be influenced by what I read. The rest of my life would change forever by this manifesto, this magnum opus, this... polemic written by someone I would find myself idolizing beyond all reason, sacrificing myself to attempt to please, giving all I had for his ideologies. Only to be beaten, humiliated, and my body used by him as I fell from glory, became a monster, and my life went to hell.

I started to read _Towards Peace_ by Megatron of Tarn.

It had been out for some time, but this was my first time having a copy. I had heard whispers of this forbidden text, but holding it, reading it… I knew why the senate didn't want it around. And its words fueled me to keep going with my mission.

So I did.

The Seekers were divided, those for me and those for Skycutter. The city was in mayhem from the Senate, and the world burning from the Functionists. And my time was nearing, even if I didn't know it.

* * *

"I don't think it's a good idea." Thundercracker grunted as he followed me in formation.

"It's never a good idea to speak to my sire, but I'm doing it regardless." I didn't even bother looking back, knowing he would give me that almost carrier-ish disapproving glare.

"I think we should avoid dealing with the Alpha as much as possible. If the people revolt-"

"The people are scared of him, of the Functionists taking over our home, and the chaos in the streets. Everyone is looking to him now more than ever. We have to get to him if we hope to get to everyone else." I stopped before the doors that led into the throne room, two guards on either side of it.

"This is a bad idea." Thundercracker muttered. "This is going to end in you getting a beating or flogging. Mark my words."

"Oh, undoubtedly. This is Skycutter, afterall. Sire dearest." I vented a sigh, stepping to open the door.

"Want me in front?" Thundercracker perked his wings.

I paused, thinking, then shook my helm. "Negative. I think it's time he knows I'm trineleader. That everyone does. I don't think keeping it secret is doing much good at this point anyway."

"Well, maybe it will save me from some pain."

"Uh huh." I looked ahead, exhaled heavily, and made my visage an enigma. I snapped my digits and my trinemates went stiff, staying in formation behind me. It was show time, and I would ensure everyone noticed my well trained trine. "Let us in." I ordered the guards.

Silently, they opened the doors and we entered, only to be greeted with loud music, flashing purple and white lights, and an exotic show.

Femmes, mostly grounders, with almost no plating and very smooth, curvy frames were giving an exotic dance show. Aerial dancing with purple cloth, spinning around, falling, and twisting about, while other femmes were being more seductive with their bodies on the floor, kicking, their servos sexually feeling over their bodies, and helms thrashing. Some had torches they were throwing and spinning, and there were even some poles set up for the pole dancing ones.

At this time of my life, I saw this as more of just those usual shows sire would have to entertain him. For someone who hated grounders, he had a lot of grounders perform for his entertainment. I wasn't entirely interested in such things. Not since I was little and would sometimes watch from my sire's lap, fascinated by how anyone could do such things.

But, later in my life I would finally understand why people liked this sort of thing and would find myself getting my own special performances from exotic femmes… As well as lap dances… And other sinful things… And lose a lot of Shanix now since I think about it. Damn, I could buy a ship with all I spent on strippers… And they didn't even interface me. Why did I never go into stripping? I could have been rich with this fabulous body of mine.

I digress.

I crossed my arms and shifted my weight to one leg, watching the show from the side, next to a guard. I glanced over at the throne, seeing Skycutter there, wearing his crown and royal garb, some new siblings of mine on his lap, about three of them. His trinemates stood in their usual spot just behind and on either side of him. And sitting on the steps of the dais and all around the thrown were his breeding mates, all wearing their collars and slave outfits. Some had very small sparklings, some obviously carrying, but a few clearly on break from breeding, such as my carrier.

I understand that the Alpha needs breaks, that all leaders need a break from stress and relax, watch something to ease their processors, but I was still annoyed that sire was doing this and not dealing with the chaos on the streets. His people needed him, and he was busy paying for exotic grounder femmes to show off their bodies with sexual dancing.

The dance eventually came to an end, and more curvy, skinny, brightly painted, and shiny femmes came out with platters, serving engex in tall, thin glasses to the adults, and energon goodies in fine detailed, expensive bowls to the Seekerlets. I remember those orbital cycles of servants obeying me, serving me, and being spoiled. I do miss them. But, at that moment I was just annoyed.

I finally decided to reveal myself and stepped out from behind the support pillar and made my way down the hall.

"Sire!" I greeted, arms held out and a smile on my faceplates. "Enjoying yourself?"

Skycutter curled his lip plate, clearly pleased to see me with that snarl. "What are you doing here, aberration?" He grunted.

"Clearly, to speak to you, my Alpha." I did a mock bow at the foot of the dais. "Your city burns, your people leak energon, and yet you sit upon your cushioned throne watching the seductive bodies of grounder strippers. Such a mighty, heroic leader."

Skycutter rolled his optics, taking a big gulp of his engex before speaking. "Firstly, they are not strippers. I would not have such things before my young Seekerlets. Secondly, I am more than aware of the state of Vos and her people. Unlike you, I am on the front line dealing with the Senate and even having meetings with the Prime."

"Rumor has it during one of those meetings the Prime called you an 'idiot,' 'weak,' and spat on you."

"The Prime is Functionist. He hates Seekers. There is never any respect from him."

"So, you don't deny-"

"Why are you here? What do you wish to speak to me about?"

"About how you still condone abuse, slavery, and murder, and that it must come to an end."

"Starscream, you can call it whatever you want, but the truth of the matter remains: Traditionalism is good, it has kept the Seekers alive for thousands of vorns, and it will stay."

"Traditionalism is good? Then explain Maelstrom. If it's so 'good' why did she feel the need to kill herself to escape? Explain Pyro. He killed himself to escape his trineleader a decacycle ago. Explain the carriers crying as they hold their unborn sparklings who were ripped from their gestation tanks all because their trineleaders didn't like how the sparkling was coming along. Explain the absolute _hell_ that submissives are put through every _single_ orbital cycle all because they are not the perfect slaves to their trineleaders!" I got angrier and louder with each word I spoke, my wings soon flaring and servos clenched.

Sire looked so done with me. "Thundercracker, take your submissive away." He growled. "Before I beat his plates off him."

"Apologies, sir." Thundercracker spoke. "But, I cannot do that. I am the submissive, and I obey my trineleader." He swallowed silently praying that the Alpha wouldn't kill him for that.

Sire eyed him, then laughed. A mocking laughter that only pissed me off more. "That's why you're standing like that. Well, explains why you have no control over him. He humps you now like the glitch you are."

"Actually," I held up my index digit. "He still humps me. He's the dominant in berth. But, that's beside the point. _I_ am the trineleader of my trine, and have been for about two vorns now. I have been trineleader since I was sparked with Starlight." I gestured to my trine then. "Look at them. Obedient, well trained, and fearless. I trained them without laying a digit on them. They obey and respect me, following my commands without question. And I never had to beat or threaten them to do so."

"Follow without question, eh?" Sire held his glass to his lip plates. "Order them to eat a bucket of waste. I'd like to see that."

"Skycutter, not in front of the little ones." Aunt Galaxy snapped at him.

Sire swallow his engex before speaking. "Apologies, my beautiful lady. Take the sparklings. I think the fun is over now." He ordered them away with a wave of his servo.

My aunts and uncles all got up, collecting their creations and leaving. They glanced at me, worried about me, some giving me hopeful looks. They wanted their freedom as much as any other submissive.

Carrier stayed. She stood and approached sire, sitting on the arm of his throne, leaning against his shoulder. A servo touched his broad chestplates, and she kissed him on the lip plates. He smiled, kissing her back, a servo stroking her thigh. She was trying to calm him and distract his rage some, hoping that he wouldn't hurt me.

The aunts and uncles who didn't have Seekerlets stayed nearby, curious what would happen. Once the Seekerlets had been removed, sire got a bit more frisky with my carrier, his servo now grabbing her codpiece, and biting her on the neck.

I didn't bulge, instead stepping on the first step of the dais, my wings raised high, watching him. He noticed, and turned back to me.

"If I fragged your carrier, would that make you leave?"

"How about we resolve a major issue that is the slag storm that traditionalism is." I put my servos on my hips.

"How about I give you a beating?"

"Love, please." Carrier grabbed his chin and made him look at her. "You know by now that pain won't make him learn. And he does speak some truth. Seekers don't need to be hurt so much. Trineleaders are going too far with punishments that break or even kill their submissives. I think you should find a mutual agreement with our son. Perhaps, set rules that trineleader can only hit their submissive so many times with a cable, or only certain crimes receive certain punishments. Could just test it out and see how it works for a stellar cycle or more."

"Or, you submissives just obey." Sire grabbed her wrist and made her remove her servo so he could look back at me. "I am not going to do anything about traditionalism, Starscream, It stays. If a submissive comes to me needing help with their trineleader, then, and only then, will I get involved. But, as of right now, I am far too busy dealing with the Senate."

"Your people come first." I said firmly.

"They do. That is why I must handle the Senate to protect Vos and those who live in it."

"Seekers are suffering and dying! For thousands of vorns they have!"

"We have been killed and tortured by grounders for longer, and they are trying to do even more to us. That is the primary threat and concern."

"How can we hope to take care of each other and fight back against our enemies when we treat each other like slaves?! When our own Alpha is too busy sparking breeding mates and sitting on your fat aft to deal with the real issues! Or are you just all brawn and no brain? Or is it cowardice?"

Sire leaped to his peds and stomped towards me, the fires of hell in his orange optics. And I saw my life flashing before my own optics, knowing I was about to be deplated alive.

"Skycutter!" Carrier ran and stood between us, placing her servos on sire's chestplates to hold him back. "Please, don't hurt him. Please, my love, don't hurt our mechling." She cupped his faceplates and made him look at her. "Please… Sky, don't hurt him." She said softer, looking from one optic to another, trying to read his emotions.

Skycutter just looked at her for a stressful, tense moment before slapping her so hard across the faceplates she fell down the last steps of the dais.

"Carrier!" I ran to her, getting down on my knees to help her.

Sire grabbed me and yanked me up by a wing. I knew I was going to receive another beating. Because, _clearly_ , that was working so well in stopping me saying we were being abused. Deny being an abuser by abusing. It sure works fine.

"Put me down!" I kicked at sire, and activated my thrusters to get away.

My trinemates wanted to jump in and fight, but were scared. They watched anxiously, wings flicking, frames tense, not sure what to do. Carrier didn't stay still, though. She ran back up the dais and grabbed Skycutter's arm.

"Let him go! Skycutter! Please!" She begged.

"Moonlight, stand down!" Sire ordered her.

"Please, don't hurt him anymore! You know he won't listen anyway!"

I managed to finally wrestle free of sire's grip with carrier distracting him. I flew up and turned around, facing him. Sire was trying to get carrier to release him so he could go after me, but she refused.

"Please, Sky, just let it go. Please, please, _please_!"

"Moonlight, if you do not let me go…" He growled, optics narrowed and engine growling.

"I'm not. Please, leave our son alone. Please, don't hurt him." She begged, holding onto his arm tightly.

"Last chance, Moonlight. Obey or else." He growled.

"I'm not letting go. He's your son. And he's just trying to help others. Please, just listen to him. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt my mechling. Please, don't-AHHH!" She screamed when he punched her in the faceplates, causing her to fall to the ground.

"Carrier!" I cried, starting to go for her, but then rage filled me. I turned to sire, optics narrowed and wings flaring. "You're a monster! You shouldn't even be Alpha! I would make a better Alpha than you!?"

And that's not what you say to the Alpha. Skycutter activated his thrusters and before I knew it I was slammed into the wall, unable to move as sire pinned me. I suddenly was too scared to move, seeing that other mech before me. Not my sire, but this murderous being who would kill me just as he had others in the past for dare threatening his reign.

I was thrown to the ground, and Skycutter landed on me. I cried out, being crushed beneath him. He stepped off me, grabbed my wing, and dragged me to the throne.

"You think you'd do better than me?" He demanded as he lifted me up. "Think you deserve to be on the throne? Fine, be on it!" He threw me over the arm of it, and I knew what was coming next.

I started to get up, but Turbine grabbed my wrists and held me down. I struggled to get away from him, not wanting another beating. Sire grabbed my wing, I heard a subspace pocket being opened, and then the horrible, cruel pain of my aft being lashed by a cable erupted from my rear. I cried out, grabbing Turbine's wrists and digging my digits in them from the pain.

But, surprise-surprise. Telling sire he needs to stop being a bully and save people always ends up in my aft getting sent to hell. And he _really_ gave it to me. Nothing was holding him back as he lashed my aft and thighs as hard as he could. And he gave me a lot. A few hundred before he finally ceased. But, the punishment wasn't over. Oh, no.

He yanked me up, turned me around, and punched me in the faceplates. I stumbled back and fell, shocked that sire had actually punched me. But, I knew why. The aft beating was for the disrespect and talking bad about traditionalism. The beating was for accidentally challenging him to his reign. A beating that was to remind me why he was Alpha. How strong, fierce, and brutal he was. And I was not going to enjoy any of it.

I started to back away while still on the ground, optics wide as he stomped over, his wings flaring. I heard carrier screaming when sire grasped my neck and easily lifted me up, holding my peds above the ground.

"You'll make a better Alpha?" He growled. "You think you could defeat me?"

I quickly shook my helm, too scared to speak. Skycutter threw me to the ground, on the steps of the dais. I cried out, and he began his assault. Punching me in the face, the chestplates, everywhere. And kicking me, stomping on me, tearing off my wings after twisting them, and ripping out my jaw. He shattered my cockpit, tore off my arm at the elbow joint, then both my legs at the knee joints. He broke off my shoulder vents, clawed plating off my body, and shattered my optics from punching so hard.

I was screaming, trying to fight him back, trying to escape, and begging for help in my panic. But none came. My trinemates could only watch for a few astroseconds before they tried to save me, only for the guards to restrain them. Carrier was screaming and crying, held down by Turbine. Flare was scared and stayed hiding behind the throne, not wanting to be involved. My other aunts and uncles who had stuck around watched in horror, hiding behind the support pillar by the guards.

I thought Skycutter was going to kill me. I really did. Once the limbs started to come off and I no longer could defend myself, I thought that was the end for me.

It wasn't a long attack. He had me torn apart in only a little over a breem. And when he was done, he was coated in my energon. He simply stood up and stomped over to carrier, grabbed her arm and yanked her harshly up.

"You're going to get a beating and dominating of your life." He growled murderously in her terrified faceplates before taking her to the throne.

My trinemates were released by the guards and instantly by my side. Skywarp hugged me close, crying. I heard my carrier screaming as she was beaten, but I couldn't do anything.

"G-get his limbs. Grab it all." Thundercracker stuttered, trembling hard with a power surge and fear, his fight or flight programming kicking in hard.

They scrambled to grab my dismembered arm, legs, wings, and other large parts that had been ripped out. Skywarp teleported us away, leaving my carrier to suffer alone. I found myself in a hospital, unable to intake as my pipes filled with fluids that shouldn't be in those pipes, and my inside filling with energon and oil. I was choking it up, everything was blurry, and I just felt awful pain.

Last thing I remember was seeing a doctor grabbing something and putting it on my face before everything went dark.

* * *

I onlined, feeling sore all over, exhausted, and warm. My optics flickered online, everything clearing up. My HUD ran an internal diagnostic, and everything looked fine. Minus I had low energy levels despite having sufficient energon reserves, and I was in pain even though everything was repaired.

I looked on either side of me and saw a trinemate. They were lying on the medberth with me, holding me close, shielding me with their bodies, their wings over my front. I felt safe knowing they were there. I was confused at first, not knowing why I was in a hospital or why I was so sore. Then, I remembered. I remembered the pain, his optics, and tearing me apart.

And I panicked.

I started to hyperventilate as coolant filled my optics, then I screamed as I lost all control of myself.

"Starscream!" Thundercracker immediately onlined and grabbed me, holding me so I wouldn't hurt myself. "It's okay, it's okay, you're safe. We're here. He's not here. Focus on me, love."

"Scree, it's okay!" Skywarp hugged me close. "Don't be scared. Don't cry. We love you. We're protecting you."

Thundercracker kissed me, then hugged me as well, the two of them holding me close and just kissing me.

"Shhh, shhh, you're safe. We're here." Thundercracker said gently. "I know you're panicking. Don't be ashamed of it. Shhhhh, we're here. You're safe. He doesn't even know where you are."

I started to slowly calm down, my cycling getting under control and ceasing my crying. They continued kissing me, holding me, and telling me how much they loved me. I didn't say anything, just worked on calming down. Finally, after a breem of being calm, I was able to speak.

"I hate him." I said softly, quieter than I meant to.

"We do, too." Thundercracker pressed his cheekplates against mine.

"Yeah, he's nothing but an afthelm." Skywarp gave a sage nod before burying his helm in my neck cables.

I held my trinemates' faceplates each in a servo, staring at the ceiling as I thought. They continued hugging me, snuggling against me, and purring their engines. I kept thinking about how he had attacked me and carrier. How he attacks everyone and doesn't actually care about his people. Then I thought about what I had said, about being a better Alpha. Would I actually be a better Alpha? Could I even do that? Maybe… I don't see what makes him more qualified to do it. I had a far better education, and experience in the world. He may have lived longer and created more sparklings, but age and number of creations doesn't make you wise nor qualified.

But, to become Alpha would mean I had to kill him. And of how angry I was with him, I couldn't kill my sire. I still remembered how good of a sire he is. He was being mean to me because I threatened his rule. That's when he stopped treating me like his son. But, otherwise, he was a good sire. Very caring, very protective. Just… Wasn't that way towards his people or his adult creations who were a threat when we spoke up.

It was complex and I hated my emotions. I loved him as my sire, but hated him as my Alpha. Why did I have to be a prince? Why not just a grounder femme who's only drama was getting a ticket for speeding? Not even Seekers got those. No speed limits in the sky. Now, I wanted to know the experience of getting a speeding ticket…

What to do with my life?

* * *

"Please? He'll cheer you up, Scree!" Skywarp tugged at my arm, while spinning around on one ped.

"I don't know…" I said slowly, just standing there, not moving.

"Come with me. My sire is super nice and you need to meet one. TC's sire is a jerk and your sire is an afthelm. My sire is awesome, and you never met him before. Please? I tell him everything about you and he does want to see you."

I glanced at Thundercracker, but all he did was shrug before resuming stuffing his face with energon sticks. The fat aft.

"Please, Scree? I won't bite you when we make love tonight!"

I turned back to Skywarp. "That's the best you got? Just no biting?"

"You faked last night."

It's true I did. I rolled my optics. "I don't like meeting new people…"

"My sire is awesome people."

"Why do you want me to go all of a sudden?"

"Because… You have never met him, and you need a break from all of this drama and activism and everything, and my sire really wants to meet you. Please… For me?" He lowered his wings and gave me the most pathetic look ever.

I was disgusted by it. "Fine… I'll go. Just let me-"

"YAY!" And he instantly teleported us.

"Skywarp! Fragging hell, I was going to clean out my waste tank before you slagging brought me to-" I paused, realizing we were not alone. "Um… Greetings."

"If you require the washroom, it's right there." One Seeker pointed to it.

"I'll be fine." I replied a little harsher than I intended.

"Hi, uncle Ash." Skywarp waved at the black and white Seeker who had just spoken, the obvious trineleader given how he was sitting in the middle with either trinemate hugging against his sides. "Hey, uncle Tailslide." Skywarp then skipped over to the third Seeker and hugged him tightly. "Love you, sire."

"Hey, my little mechling." Lightspeed hugged his son back. He then turned to Ash. "May I go to my room, sir?"

"You may." Ash released him from his hold.

Lightspeed quickly got up and gestured us to his room. He closed the door, then hugged Skywarp again.

"Mmmm!" His wings fluttered as he held his only creation. "Missed you, crazyhelm. Getting enough energon? Your trinemates doing alright?"

"Yeah, everything is good. Lots of energon, Thunder keeps me satisfied, and Scree keeps me happy in my own selfish ways." He giggled.

Lightspeed released Skywarp to turn to me. "Hello, Starscream. Finally nice to meet you."

"Honor to meet you, too." I held out my servo to him, but he hugged me instead, fluttering his wings.

"Oh, you're right, Skywarp. He does smell very nice." Lightspeed commented.

My optics widened a little, then I made a sound to reset my vocalizer. "Ahem, yes, well… Cleaning and waxing." I stepped back once Lightspeed released me. Now, I was beginning to suspect where Skywarp's weirdness originated from.

Skywarp giggled. "He smells better when ya frag him."

"Must be a royalty thing. Look at you. Shagging a prince." Lightspeed elbowed his son.

Skywarp giggled some more. "He certainly looks and feels like royalty. The sounds he makes though are too primal."

"I'm right here." I placed my servos on my hips, not particularly fond of this conversation.

"It's fine, Scree. I always talk to my sire about my interface life. Like… All of it." Skywarp nonchalantly assured me.

"Don't talk about fragging me to your own sire."

"Why not?"

"It's weird."

"Why?"

"Because… Just don't."

"Princes…"

I shot him a glare before turning to Lightspeed and forcing a smile. "I'm sure there are other matters to which we could discuss. Perhaps, political or simple palaver."

"Interface is our palaver." Lightspeed shrugged before unsubspacing a datapad and handing it to Skywarp. "For my beloved."

Skywarp took it then unsubspaced another datapad. "He says you're all he thinks and dreams about, and prays for the orbital cycle you are reunited."

Lightspeed took the datapad, smiling at it before subspacing it. "Best not to read when guests are present. Our love letters get rather… graphic with our love."

I sat on the couch and listened as Skywarp and his sire talked. They were so alike. The way they talked, the words they used, and their laughs were the same. Skywarp definitely got his craziness from his sire, and his gentle, sweetness from his carrier. And, Primus, did they talk about interface and such personal things. Skywarp went into very graphic detail about how he fragged me, when he fragged me, his favorite position to frag me, how I would react, and even how my trine did roleplaying and BDSM. At one point Skywarp suggested his sire watch and I had to give a firm "NO" to make that clear It wasn't happening.

But, his sire was just as bad talking about his interface life in just as much detail. He had one unlike Overcast who was neglected beyond all reason and rarely ever touched sexually. Lightspeed's trineleader was angry with him for what he had done, and was very strict with him and punished him often and harshly, but he still bonded with him every night, ensured he was well fueled, clean, and took him flying. Lightspeed couldn't leave the apartment without his trinemates with him, he was not allowed near Overcast, nor allowed to speak to him. And Skywarp was limited with how often he could visit. Despite Lightspeed being treated slightly better by not being so neglected, clean, able to fly, and not constantly chained, he still had to wear a collar with a tracking device in it, and was tethered by it to the berth at night, even though he recharged with his trinemates. He was beaten more often than Tailslide, and for far more things. The same crime committed by Tailslide might yield a scolding or twenty lashes with a cable. But, if Lightspeed did it it would be a hundred lashes with a cable. Because of this, Lightspeed was very quiet around his trineleader, for fear of a harsh beating. But, when alone with Tailslide or his son, he was able to be himself.

The reason Lightspeed didn't suffer as much as Overcast did is not just the difference in how the trineleaders handle things, but Lightspeed wasn't the one who got sparked with a bastard creation who turned out to be an outlier.

"How is it going with saving submissives?" Lightspeed finally asked me, sitting on the berth now.

"Marvelous…" I sarcastically replied, arms crossed.

"That so?"

"Submissives are making changes, some trineleaders are, but the primary change needs to come from my sire, the Alpha. If I can get him to… I don't know.. Make some laws or something that could at least limit how far punishments could go, that would be a start. But, my sire rather beat and flog me than entertain even a moment of my monologues."

"Of course he won't listen to you. You're his son trying to tell him what to do. All creators feel like they know better than their creations. I think I know so much more than my mechling here, but sometimes he does know better than me."

That statement made me doubt Lightspeed's intellect, but I remained silent about it. "I don't think I'm always smarter than my own creations. They know things I don't, and I respect and listen to them for it, and appreciate their wisdom."

"That's you. Most aren't like that because most are arrogant and don't like someone being smarter than them. And the Alpha certainly is that way." He paused. "I've dealt with the Alpha before, your sire. When you were just a twinkle in his optics. When I accidentally sparked my lover, Overcast." He had to take a moment, simply saying his designation hurting him since he couldn't be with him. "When we were found out after conceiving Skywarp, we tried getting our trines to agree with the relationship. When they were… Leaning towards 'no' we went to Skycutter to beg for help. He made it quite clear that my beloved and I were the ones in the wrong and deserved only punishment and whatever our trineleaders decided to do to us. And his decision was the final push our trineleaders needed. So, after our beautiful son was born… I haven't seen my mate since." He vented a sigh. "Skycutter doesn't want to listen to anyone because he believes he's right, and he certainly won't listen to one of his creations telling him otherwise."

"Then what should I do?"

"What are his creators like?"

"I haven't spoken to my grandcreators in some time…"

"Why?"

"They have hundreds of grandcreations and thousands of great-grandcreations, and, Primus, an unhealthy amount of great-great-grandcreations. They don't have a lot of time to spare."

"Well, make some. Maybe they have some thoughts on how to handle him. He's their son, after all."

"Perhaps." I thought, not sure what my grandcreators thought about all the unrest going on and their son's life. I hadn't seen them since I was like… 10 stellar cycles old. And they didn't talk much. I think they were getting tired by all the new sparklings constantly being born by their son's narcissism and libido. But, maybe it was time to see them again.

Yeah, I think Lightspeed had a point.

* * *

The next orbital cycle I knocked on the door to the penthouse that Skycutter's creators lived in. Being his creators, he spoiled them and they had a nice, big place that was well furnished, as well as servants.

The door was opened by one of these servants, and I entered with my trinemates in tow. We were seated in the living room, and patiently waited for my grandcreators to arrive. Before us on the wall, as to be obvious, was a blown up image that had been taken when sire killed the previous Alpha. There my sire stood, younger, covered in energon, holding the helm of the Seeker he had just slain, and the shocked crowd. No one had expected him to have won, but he had, and he immediately made it clear the kind of Alpha he was. He took several breeding mates that same orbital cycle, and set in motion his long reign of making lots of creations, being involved in grounder politics, and now being the Alpha to produce the most sparklings. His reign was busy, but mostly in the berthroom.

My wings perked when my grandcreators finally appeared. I stood up and held out my arms, as one normally would to great their family, but they weren't eager for a hug. Probably because they had hugged so many grandcreations their arms were unable to make the gesture from broken hydraulics.

"Um, ahem, nice to see you, grandcarrier, grandsire." I inclined my helm in respect instead.

"Forgive me, I can't remember all of your designations." Grandcarrier said as he sat on the other couch with his trineleader. "You're-?"

"Starscream."

"Ah, Moonlight's, correct?"

I nodded. "Her third."

"You look like her. So, what brings you hear to see us?" Grandsire asked. "Usually we don't get visits from Skycutter's creations once they are moved out. Unless they are showing off their own creations. Which, I can tell you have had some."

"They're grown and having their own families. I actually came to talk to you guys about your son and politics."

"Has he been bad? Because everyone says he has." Grandsire grunted, as if all he ever heard was complaints about his son.

"Well, yes, but I mainly wished to talk about how to get him to listen. I have been trying to explain to him about a crisis in the Seeker population, but he doesn't want to hear nor acknowledge it as a crisis or something that should concern him. Instead, he rather have me publically flogged and tear me apart. And I don't know what to do to get him to listen to me, or even consider what I say to him. And I was hoping you might know a better way of getting to him. He is your son."

"He's our son but he doesn't listen to us." Grandcarrier replied. "He's never been one to care what we, his siblings or anyone has to say. He's immensely stubborn. I love him, but he's set in his ways and I don't know what to do about it. I even have told him that he shouldn't be having so many creations because that's a lot of work to care for them, but he told me to just stay out of his business."

"Oh, he doesn't care for his creations. Provides for, but does nothing else." I grunted.

"Exactly what are you trying to tell him?" Grandsire inquired.

I hesitated. "I'm trying to inform him how traditionalism is abusive when it comes to certain actions against submissives. Such as extremely harsh, aggressive punishments, killing healthy sparklings, and the glorification of rape and abuse."

My grandcreators gave me confused looks.

"How so?" Grandsire asked.

"Such as when a trineleader flogs their submissive for simply failing to clean the house correctly, or killing a sparkling that had a deformed wing, or forcing a submissive to interface when the submissive doesn't feel well enough to and asks to skip that night. Traditionalism states that a trineleader can do all these things without question or repercussion. That a trineleader has absolute power and cannot be contained if they go too far, and submissives are simply interface slaves."

"I think that analogy goes too far…" Grandsire said slowly.

"Grandsire… I used to be a submissive in my trine. Thundercracker was the original trineleader and he beat me for being too tired to interface. I was raising several daughters, attending school full time, and also taking care of the apartment, preparing energon, picking up and dropping off the Seekerlets at school, and helping Skywarp with his creations. I was always tired, sometimes moody, but I wasn't allowed to have a break from Thundercracker's lust. He would hold me down and forcibly penetrate and hump me, and I had to just take it. I couldn't even decide on a position or anything. He always had full control, and shame on me if I asked for _one_ night off. Shame on me if I just wanted a single moment to myself to relax and read, or watch something. I was expected to have everything clean, the sparklings cared for, and when he came home to be on the berth with my codpiece open. That's not a life. That's not living. That's not happy. And if I wasn't perfect for him, if I wasn't obedient, I was beaten with a cable, with a tawse, flogged with an energon whip, or beaten. I went to my classes with shattered optics, and one time I was so disfigured from him punching me in the face during interface I couldn't even talk. My daughters saw me like that. My classmates saw it. I lived my life trying to hide the scars and damage on my aft, face, wings, and everywhere else on my body so that my daughters wouldn't be scared and my classmates wouldn't stare. That's not normal nor right. But, traditionalism defines it as being the right of the trineleader to do that." I paused, noticing that Thundercracker was looking away, his wings low, upset by the memories of what he had done to me. I placed my servo on his thigh and gently stroked it, silently reminding him that I had forgiven him long ago.

"What trineleaders do is abuse." I continued. "Physical, psychological, verbal, and sexual. I attempted suicide because of how awful my life was. Many other submissives have been successful, such as my sister-in-law who recently ended her own life. I was in such a bad place mentally from the abuse I even took Syk and almost killed myself and one of my daughters. Trineleaders are so… So in control that all of my daughters, all the creations I had with my trineleader were forced. I didn't want to be sparked. Not at that time of my life. But I was beaten and raped every time and had to carry a sparkling I wasn't ready for. But what I said didn't matter. Thundercracker wanted his sparkling and he got it. Regardless of how I felt, what I wanted, or what I needed. It all came down to what my trineleader desired. And I was beaten constantly over not being good enough for him. For not smelling right, looking right, cleaning right, I was even beaten because I dropped something, or ate something that was his, getting home late, or not sounding happy during interface. I was beaten for calling my own carrier without his permission. It's… It's a prison. It's slavery. It's wrong, and cruel, and times are changing. We need to make these changes to save our people and stop this abuse."

My grandcreators looked at each other for a moment before speaking.

"I know it's not fun being hurt, but-" Grandsire started, but I interjected.

" _No_ , no, I am not hearing this from _you_." I flared my wings, suddenly becoming hostile. I turned to Overshoot. "Grandcarrier, you tell me your thoughts since you're the submissive. Are you okay with being whipped and beaten?"

Grandcarrier swallowed, suddenly becoming uncomfortable. Banshee flicked his wings, not appreciating my tone.

"Grandcarrier, were you forced to have creations? Did grandsire force creations on you? Did he force you to interface him when you didn't want to?" I questions further.

Overshoot bit his lower lip plate. "I… I didn't particularly want the carryings that gave me Skycutter or Raven… The others I was ready for, but those two…"

"And why didn't you want them?" I perked my wings.

"Because our third trinemate had been murdered by a grounder and… I just needed more time to heal from that before having anymore."

"But, Banshee, dear grandsire here, didn't listen to you, did he?"

"He's the trineleader."

"Yes, but trineleaders make mistakes and have no right to rule over their submissives like they're emotionless, interface toys. They shouldn't be able to beat and rape someone just because they are mated to them. If a grounder did the same things to you that your trineleader does, would you be fine with that? Would you consent to that?"

Overshoot was just silent, thinking as he looked down. Banshee glared at me, not particularly fond of my words.

"Skycutter isn't perfect." Overshoot said softly. "Before he left our trine… At 20 stellar cycles old… He went to a bar, got overenergized, and… He onlined with a prostitute. He murdered her and hid her body in order to retain his honor. No one else knows. Just us. And the police never found the prostitute." He paused. "He'll listen to you if you mention that."

I smirked. "Blackmail? Now, I know where I get it from." I got up and hugged my grandcarrrier. "You are seriously the best and I love you bunches and need to be better about visiting you."

Grandcarrier faintly smiled and hugged me back. "Thanks for dropping by. It's always nice seeing one of my grandcreations."

"Shouldn't have told him…" Banshee grunted.

I hugged my grandsire. "No, tell me everything." I then kissed them both on the cheekplates. "You guys are awesome. Thank you _so much_!" I snapped my digits and my trinemates immediately got in formation behind me. "Wish me luck with your son!" I called as I ran to the door with my trinemates.

My grandcreators perked their wings as they watched us leave.

"He's going to get the slag beaten out of him." Banshee grunted.

"Absolutely." Overshoot nodded.

* * *

I marched down the hallways of the palace, my trinemates in formation behind me. I stopped outside the door to sire's berthroom, the guards stopping me by crossing their spears over the door.

"Let me pass." I ordered.

"The Alpha cannot be bothered. Not even by a prince." The one guard informed me.

"I must speak to my sire. Let me in." I crossed my arms and shifted my weight to one leg.

"Alpha's orders." The guard repeated.

I bit the tip of my index digit as I thought. I smirked when I got an idea.

"Remove your mask, guard." I commanded.

"My mask?"

"Yes, remove it."

The guard hesitated, but then did so. I studied his red faceplates for a moment before stepping forward, and suddenly grabbing his helm and kissing him on the lip plates.

The other guard and my trinemates jaws dropped as their optics widened, shocked, confused, and horrified all at once. The guard I was kissing froze, his own optics wide, but I didn't cease kissing him. I even forced my glossa into the virgin's mouth and slobbered it around in there nice and good.

I broke the kiss and watched him, my wings perking. I finally smirked, giving a flutter of my wings.

"Let me in, virgin." I purred the last word as I said it softly.

"Uhhhh, y-yeah, um, s-sure, sir, I mean, um, here." He then palmed the door open for me, wanting me well away from him now.

"Thank you." I gestured for my trinemates to stay before I entered the room.

The door hissed closed behind me as I approached the berth, my wings perking.

"I love you." Skycutter said between kisses to Flare's lip plates. "Love you so much."

Flare giggled as he lied on the berth beneath my sire, his wings fluttering. "Love you, more, Sky." He squealed when sire tickled his sides. "Stop it!" His wings fluttered, hugging Skycutter close to him.

"Never, sexy. You're mine."

"I'm all yours."

Sire kissed him silent, grabbing Flare's wrists and pinning them to the berth. He started to thrust into him, Flare moaning bliss into Skycutter's mouth, his wings fluttering. Turbine lied on the berth beside them, waiting his turn to be taken by his trineleader. His wings perked when noticing me.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Sire rolled his optics before breaking the kiss and turning to me, still humping his trinemate. "Go away, Starscream. I am bonding with my trinemates right now and rather not waste this time on you." He flicked his wings before leaning back over and resuming his passionate kissing.

I watched them for a moment before bringing out the big guns. "Is he as nice as that prostitute you shagged when you were only 20 stellar cycles? I do hope there's no plan on murdering dear Uncle Flare and hiding his corpse."

Skycutter turned to me so fast, his wings flaring, ceasing his humping. Oh, did I smirk, smug, victorious, manipulative… All in my expression.

"Who the hell-?"

"Grandcarrier. Because I'm his favorite." I replied matter-of-factly. "Now, the reason he told me this is to get you to listen. I have dirt on you. And don't think I won't use it." I flicked my wings as I got my face in his.

"Why should I feel threatened by you knowing that? I have been the Alpha for vorns and my reign is unchallenged. No one would believe a rebellious submissive anyway."

"Not a submissive anymore, and you have many enemies. Anything that damages your PR will bring challengers, and will cause only more problems with grounders. They aren't exactly fond of murderers in political places of power." I smiled.

Sire's engine growled. "If they believe you."

"The grounders who already see Seeker traditionalism as abuse would listen to me over you any orbital cycle. And there are far more submissives than there are traditional trineleaders. The non-traditionals and most submissives of traditional trines already are on my side. They will believe me." I paused. "My carrier would believe me. One of your favorite breeding mates. And if one of your preferred slaves knew… Oh!" I feigned shock. "Oh, what a poor relationship you would have with her and your other breeding mates. And then, they would tell their creations. _Your_ creations. And we always believe our carrier over our shared sire. Because our sire wasn't as involved in our lives as our dearest carriers were." I paused. "Your trinemates know, don't they? They know they weren't your first. How… _hurtful_. How, non-traditional. How… _devious_. Tsk-tsk-tsk!" I waved a digit at him. "I think someone has been dishonest and not very honorable. Hmm? Wouldn't you say?"

"I could just kill you and be done with it." Sire grunted.

I held out my servos. "Do it, then. Kill one of your own creations. I'm sure it's not the first time you have, only I'm already out of my carrier. And then, my trinemates, my friends, my carrier, and everyone else who cares for me will not be pleased with you. Your favorite breeding mate would be pissed at you. And I don't think you want to lose her. Even if you own her, I know she would do her best to ruin your life. And if the grounders learn you murdered your adult son… You think the Senate is up your aft already…"

"What do you want?" Sire growled.

"For you to listen and make an accord."

"What is this proposition? That I make you Alpha?"

"Not in the slightest, sir. I still respect and accept you as my Alpha, to my dying intake. No," I waved a digit with the word. "I propose a new set of laws to be made. Ones that will limit how much a trineleader can punish their trinemate and for which crimes they commit. To begin the process of eliminating the abusive parts of traditionalism. And to bring in therapists for submissives to see to help them heal, and for trineleaders to learn how to deal with unruly submissive behavior. And to ban certain actions, such as ripping out sparklings from carriers, public flogging, and chaining trinemates indefinitely."

"Like anyone would follow those laws…" Sire grunted.

"Not unless you enforce them. You have an entire army practically of royal guards. These virgins have a lot of free time since they are untrined. Have them patrol the city and do checkups on trineleaders who are known for being aggressively strict. Inform the Vosian police that the laws for Seekers have changed and they now have authority to get involved when a trineleader is beating their submissive."

"Why is this so imperative to you..?"

"Because it's wrong that these submissives are being abused and killed all because we're not perfect. _No one_ is. We need to make changes. Even if gradual. But change _must_ happen."

"And if I don't make these laws you're going to tell everyone about my one mistake?"

"Oh, you have more than one mistake. But, the Vosian Reporter would _love_ to get their servos on this story." I smiled, wings fluttering.

Sire exhaled heavily, glaring at me. "Give me a few orbital cycles to think things over and make preparations."

"You have three." I snapped, jabbing three digits in his faceplates. "If there is no new laws, no changes by the end of those three orbital cycles, I'll destroy you. Not physically, but politically. Clear?"

"You do not threaten the Alpha."

"I'll threaten anyone who hurts people. I do not fear cowardly bullies." I flicked my wings. "Anything else you'd like to add?"

"Go to hell and get the frag out of my room."

I smirked. "As I said before, I respect and obey the Alpha." I mockingly bowed to him. "My lord. Enjoy yourself with your trinemates." I turned to my uncles. "Hope you're disgusted with him. I think I'll go vomit now thinking about what he's done."

And with that, I turned and calmly walked out. I exhaled heavily once the doors closed behind me, feeling so relieved to have gotten that done.

"Well?" Thundercracker perked his wings.

I smirked. "I made the Alpha my glitch."

* * *

 **This is now 836 pages long. Can you believe it?**

 **This chapter really sums up what us activists and most vegans do. Education is key to changing people to go vegan, use vaccines, stop abortions, stop being racist, etc. Because the truth will never change and we need to educate people on that truth. Whether that it's humans are natural herbivores so don't need animal products, or that animal agriculture is the leading cause of climate change, or that abortion is anti-women rights and murder, or that vaccines save lives, or that religions are not the problem, hateful people are, or whatever. TRUE vegans and activist educate people on these facts and more to try and save lives. Using the truth and proper educating is what differentiates us from those with an agenda or are following selfish lies. The meat and dairy industry, anti-vaccers, all of them... They don't educate, they push around, threaten, and attack to MAKE you believe and follow them and do what they want.**

 **Can some vegans or people advocating for good things be aggressive or mean sometimes? Yes. But, some people really need a hard push to get them to make a change, while others don't. It really depends on the person. I, myself, tell facts straight and never sugar coat things, so can better handle the stubborn people. I don't do well trying to cater to people who are overly sensitive they cry and scream if a butterfly touches them. As my friends say, I'm a dragon. XD**

 **And, as Starscream is doing here calling the abuse, rape, and slavery EXACTLY what it is, vegans and activists do that as well. This is why I called meat, dairy, eggs, fur, etc. what it truly is: dead, rotten flesh, breast milk, menstrual cycles, ripped off skin, etc. This goes with the no sugar coating. It's also a tactic of breaking mental chains.**

 **For example: The meat and dairy industry forces the words "beef," "pork," "veal," etc. because that hides what it really is. It sounds less bad. You learn to associate this thing that doesn't look like a cow to another word, "beef." It's cognitive dissonance. It's making you forget what it truly is, get you comfortable with thinking it's something else, and you accept it as that.**

 **But, when confronted with the truth, you naturally can't handle it. If humans were meant to eat meat, why can we not handle slaughterhouse videos or killing animals ourselves? So instead pay someone else to do it? Cognitive dissonance. Why do we say it's wrong to hit an adult, but say it's okay to hit a child as "punishment?" Cognitive dissonance.**

 **And that's what's going on here with Seeker traditionalism. It's not rape, it's the trineleader asserting themselves. It's not abuse, it's the trineleader punishing you to make you a "better" person. It's not depression, it's you whining about your life because you're an ungrateful brat.**

 **And so, Starscream is doing what I and other activists are doing: Breaking that cognitive dissonance with presenting the cold, hard facts, saying how things are, educating on the truth, and refusing to be stopped.**

 **And, yes, abortion is still wrong no matter what, also is NOT vegan since it harms living beings, and many abortions are done because the baby isn't "perfect." There are so many children alive who have mental or physical disabilities and are happy and enjoying life. And killing children with extreme conditions just because they are different is not only cruel and selfish, and robbing them of their right to live, but it also makes it harder to learn about these conditions to help future children. And, no, they don't harshly experiment on disabled children as some abortion supporters try to claim. No, instead, the just monitor them, maybe take some cheek swab samples to check chromosomes, and basic checkups. This helps them see how the syndrome, disease, etc. is effecting their bodies, what treatments are helping them, what has allowed these children to live longer than others who have the same condition, etc.**

 **And because of children who were allowed to live despite physical or mental disorders, we now have been able to separate conjoined twins and give them a better life, or helped children (and dogs) who's brains are too large for their skulls that stopped growing, or put hearts back into chests when born outside of it, etc.**

 **There's no need to kill a child for being different. And there are so many people who have serious medical conditions since birth but are still happy and thriving. And people who support abortion should meet and talk to those people to learn how wrong it is to kill a person for not being their definition of "perfect."**

 **Hell, even anti-vaccers have the same argument. Vaccines don't cause autism, but for argument's sake, let's say they do. How CRUEL and SELFISH is it to deny a child protection from deadly diseases all because you fear them getting autism? I know so many children and adults with autism and all of them are happy, loving life, and glad to be alive. Why would you fucking care if your child has autism or not? You should be more concerned about them being ALIVE and HEALTHY than the state of their mental capacity!**

 **End that rant.**

 **Starscream doesn't like talking about his sex life around his family members because that's too personal. He went to school with grounders and grew up learning how embarrassing and awful it was to talk about family members doing it, but not as bad as strangers or friends doing it. That's why he's open to telling Skyfire all about his interface, but when his creators talk about theirs Starscream covers his audio receptors.**

 **Which, I think most people are like that.**

 **I like writing about Bitstream. He's an asshole. XD**

 **The Clampdown, shadowplay, the corrupt senate, Sentinal Prime being a dick, loss of energon, and the chaos on Cybertron is all canon to the IDW comics. Look up the TFwiki pages on those subjects to learn more.**

 ** _Towards Peace_ , the book Megatron wrote in the IDW comics that changed everything. Hope you all are happy that Megatron has FINALLY come into Starscream's life, even if just his written word.  
**

 **Also, another rant, aging and/or having children doesn't make you "wise" nor "know better." Experience and/or wisdom does. I may not have children, but I have a lot of knowledge and quite a bit of experience with them, and that qualifies me more than most parents to deal with children! It's a myth created by abusive parents and controlling old people to try and make the younger generation dependent on them to think only the old or those who have bred are "superior" in knowledge. No, some very young children are smarter than most in certain topics. I am smarter than most when it comes to art, animal rights, health, veganism, caring for pets, writing, etc. And then there are those are are smarter than me in other topics, like math, chemistry, etc. It doesn't make one or the other "superior." Just means we are better knowledgeable in certain areas, in our different walks of life. And age and bearing children had nothing to do with that. Hell, I've seen 5 year olds who can change the oil in cars and college graduate me still have to take my car to Jiffylube to have it done. They have experience in something I don't. But, I have experience in things they don't.**

 **And, remember that all royal guards are untrined Seekers. Trined Seekers aren't allowed to be guards because guards live in the palace and raising their families there would be hard, untrined Seekers are less likely to interface with any of the breeding mates since they are keeping themselves "pure" for their trinemates, and untrined Seekers are less distracted. Not worrying about their trinemates, sparklings, finances, etc. They can focus solely on their job as a guard knowing all needs are met. And on their off time chill, court Seekers, and attend school, the War Academy, etc. Basically, it's like how all college students work at Starbucks or retail until they get their degree and/or marry. It's the "college student job/job you get when kicked out of your parents house and needing to went somewhere" job.**

 **And, the final note, any change, even small, is a step in the right direction if it means the world going vegan or getting better. So, even if making some laws that just stop punishments from going to far are placed, it's still a step in the right direction to lessen abuse, get trineleaders to start thinking, and get the ball rolling for bigger, more progressive changes.**

 **And with that all said... Please, leave comments, share, fave, GO VEGAN, vaccinate, hug a puppy, fight Nazis, whatever! Do the thing!**

 **I really appreciate comments. Especially if you complain how mean I am to Starscream. :3**

 **Puppy Update: Zephyr is 18 weeks, 25lbs, has all her vaccines (yay!), has gotten to go to the dog park and made a friend, has lost 7 baby teeth and has 6 adult teeth coming in, her ears are trying so hard to go up, and she keeps growing and growing! She also got her first bath yesterday after getting filthy at the dog park!**

 **As for me... Finishing up this last class still... Getting more private students to teach for my income, turned more people vegan, reading those IDW comics, saving money best I can, dying from stress and depression and fighting suicidal thoughts, and hoping I get a well paying job or a lot of private students so I can be making enough money to survive and save until my career job.**

 **Ugh... Life...**


	28. The Battle of My Life

**Chapter 28**

"Hah!" Thundercracker gasped, his servos clenching in fists, and his backstrut arching.

"Hmm, like that, slave?" I smirked, leaning forward to purr it in Thundercracker's faceplates.

Thundercracker didn't move. Not that he was able to. He was tied on the berth, his arms and legs stretched out in an X with his wrists and ankles tightly bound to the corners of the berth. He wore a blindfold, and I had forced a collar on him with spikes on the inside. I sat on him, riding him, that beautiful spike of his inside of me. in one servo I held the chain connected to his collar, in the other a flogger.

Normally, Thundercracker never would agree to being the submissive. He was naturally dominant in berth and I the submissive. But, we decided to change roles for tonight. And Skywarp had setup the camera on a tripod to record the entire thing, while Skywarp himself would stimulate Thundercracker's transformation seams with a seam vibrator. Which is something that very gently tickles, and yet is soothing, but also... very light to the touch. It… Well, for organics it would be like feathers lightly touching their gross flesh bodies.

I lashed Thundercracker's chestplates, not hard. Just enough to give a slight sting, but then allow the tingling energy of the tawse's tendrils to caress over his plates, bringing more of that… ticklish, little bit of pain, sensual sensation. He softly gasped, intakes heavier as his frame got hotter. I kissed him on the lip plates, biting his lower lip plate.

"Mine." I whispered before humping a little harder, moaning myself.

"Oh… Hah…" Thundercracker lolled his helm back, arms pulling at his restrains, so beautifully helpless.

"All mine." I seductively whispered again. "Who's your master?"

Thundercracker smirked. "Skywarp."

Skywarp giggled, his wings fluttering. I flicked mine, then gave Thundercracker a hard lash on his chest.

"Ah! Oh, that was rude." He grunted, his fans whirling louder.

"Who's your master?" I asked again.

"Skywarp." He said with a smug grin.

"Want me to make you suffer?"

"Suffer how? If you're going to threaten me, explain how you're going to hurt me. Come on, Star. You can do better than this."

"Don't tell me what to do! _I'm_ the master!" I pointed to myself as I exclaimed.

"Then fragging act like it."

"I'll beat your aft. A lot!"

"With what?"

"A cable."

"A lot could be any number."

"I'll beat you until you beg. Then I'll keep beating you. I'll beat you until my arm falls off. Then I'll use my other arm to beat you until _that_ _one_ falls off! Then… I'll make Skywarp beat you!"

"And you'll be left unsatisfied."

I narrowed my optics as I flicked my wings. "No I won't. I'll have Skywarp frag me. And make you watch."

"He can't satisfy you like I can, darlin'." He smiled like a smug rat. And I hated him.

"I'll make you suck me off."

"I'll bite whatever you put in my mouth."

"I'll…. Drag you outside and give you an aft beating in public! And the entire time you have to…" I thought, then smirked. "You have to call me 'sire.'"

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwww…! No, that's too far."

"And You'll be my princess." I fluttered my wings.

"I would rather give you fellatio."

"And you have to wear a crown, and… A tail."

"Okay, Skywarp, can you please take over?" Thundercracker turned his helm to the side Skywarp was on, not that he could see anything.

"Like… ride ya?" Skywarp perked his wings.

"Whatever Starscream is doing up there, you can do it better."

"NO HE CAN'T!" I screeched.

"Ouch, Primus… My audio receptors." Thundercracker shook his helm, resetting his audio receptors.

"Primus, Scree." Skywarp rubbed over his audio receptors. "Did you just kill a cybercat or something? Frag, that was awful."

I flicked my wings. " _I_ am the master." I said all prissy, tossing my olfactory sensor in the air. "I am _never_ the master. So anyone who defies my master-y will receive a hundred lashes and be burnt at the stake!"

"That escalated." Thundercracker grunted.

"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T _JUDGE_ AND _INSULT_ YOUR MASTER, **_SLAVE_**!"

"AH! Primus, my audio receptors!"

"Starscream! Stop with the dying cybercats in your vocalizer.!" Skywarp shouted.

"NO!"

"Don't make us have to rebel!"

"I can't rebel. I'm chained…" Thundercracker grumbled.

"AND YOU SHALL STAY THAT WAY!"

"Slaggit, Star, all of Vos hears you."

"SO! BE! **_IT_**!"

"Give me that." Skywarp reached for the flogger.

"NOOOO!" I bit his servo.

"AH! You slagging, ravenous _dog_!" He slapped me, and I slapped back.

"Gah! Not on my spike! Ah! Stop!" Thundercracker tried to pull at his restrains as Skywarp and I wrestled. "This is why I have to be the dominant! You two femmes always have cat fights because I'm not restraining you."

"It's not a cat fight!" I shoved at Skywarp.

"I'm not a femme!" Skywarp shrieked.

"Vector Sigma…" Thundercracker vented a sigh. "Untie me right now so I can give you _both_ the aft beating of the vorn."

In wrestling with Skywarp over the flogger I accidentally lashed it across Thundercracker's faceplates. And that really pissed him off.

"Ah! Alright, which one of you miserable afts did that?!" Thundercracker roared. "Let me go so I can strangle you both!"

"Oh, now I am _less_ inclined to untie you!" I shouted.

"Starscream, release me so I can tie you here instead and beat the plating off your aft! I will beat you so hard that you will feel the pain of this beating for the rest of your life! I will beat you so hard that anyone with your coding will feel it!"

"Like that makes me want to free you any more, you fat afted, flying tin can."

"Skywarp! Untie me so I can murder Starscream!"

Skywarp paused, thinking. "If I untie you, what's in it for me?"

"I will not beat you and instead allow you to beat Starscream's aft with me."

"Hmmm…" Skywarp tapped a digit against his chin as he thought. "Can I rape Starscream afterwards? And can Starscream be made to drink my waste?"

"EW! NO!" I shrieked.

"Yes to the rape, no to the waste drinking. Just… No."

"Eh." Skywarp shrugged. "Guess I can settle with just beating and raping Star's sexy aft. Sorry, bro."

"No!" Skywarp managed to yank me off Thundercracker, then proceeded to untie him. "You betray your trineleader!"

"I learned betrayal from you!"

"NO!" I grabbed at Skywarp's servos, trying to stop him from releasing the beast.

It was a pathetic attempt to wrestle Skywarp away as he kept trying to free Thundercracker. Skywarp managed to get one wrist free, and then Thundercracker was able to get himself out of the chains.

He grabbed me, easily threw me onto the berth, and tied me down with the same chains. I struggled and cursed, but to no avail. I quickly found myself screaming as Thundercracker used the flogger on my aft, and Skywarp got busy with a paddle.

I hate them.

"AH! I hate you! Ah! Damn you! Ah! Ah! Slaggers! Ah! GO TO HELL!"

They really gave it to me… Then Skywarp got in me and fragged me hard, then Thundercracker did the same. They then beat me again… And fragged me again…

By the time they were done my aft was on fire and it hurt to walk, sit, or do anything. When I was finally untied I stormed away and locked myself in my room. I took my time to cry over the pain and calm down, before I could look in the mirror and appreciate the wonderful job they did on my rear end making it look like such an abused mess. Another picture taken and documented for my never ending collection of abused aft images.

I gritted my denta as I sat at my desk, wings flicking as I got my computer online. I scrolled through the news, looking to see if sire was announcing the new laws or doing anything.

Nothing.

Nothing from the Alpha other than his dealings with other politicians, and refusing to kiss aft to Sentinel Prime's demands. At least he was doing that right… But, his political policies still were not the best. Of how much I wanted grounders to stay out of Seeker affairs, sometimes we had to treat them like equals in our city and make accommodating deals.

I vented a sigh, frustrated that there were still no updates. It was the second orbital cycle since I had spoken to sire and told him I knew about the prostitute. I would give him another orbital cycle before calling him.

The door to my room opened and that big, blue aft that I love dearly entered.

"You done pouting about your punishment?" He smirked, coming behind me and hugging me.

"I'm not talking to you." I crossed my arms, tossing my olfactory sensor up.

He chuckled. "You're just not meant to be dominant in berth, my love." He kissed me on the cheekplates. "And your aft was created to have me beat it with all my unadulterated love." He kissed my neck. "May I see it?"

"No."

"I think it needs a few more swats."

"You're never satiated."

"No, I'm not. Getting hard again for you. Mmmm, I love you." He started to kiss my neck cables with a bit more passion. "You're my everything. My beautiful, perfect mate. Carrier of five of my creations. The perfect frag for my demanding spike." He grabbed my chin to kiss me on the lip plates. "Love you." Another kiss. "Get up and back up into me, _now_."

I slapped his cheekplates. "Stop. I'm tired. You had your fun with me already… Oh, come on. _Seriously_? Put that thing away!" I rolled my optics seeing it was out of his codpiece again. "You seriously are an interface addict. You need help."

"I'm addicted to making love to you." He nuzzled his olfactory sensor against my face.

"Mhmm. Put it away or I'll cut it off. Just… Ugh.. Take it outside and shove it in a hole or something. I am _not_ touching it anymore. Where's Skywarp? He has several holes you can put it in…"

"I want your hole."

I rolled my optics. "Why are you like this?"

"Why are you?"

"Stop. I'm trying to read news. _Thunder_! Stop. It." I shouted when he started to hump my chair.

"No."

"How do you even get hard again so fast?"

"That's how much you turn me on."

"I'm flattered. Now, go away. I will gut you and strangle you with your own wires if you do not-" I shoved his face away as he tried kissing me. I then flared my wings, growled my engines, and snarled.

He growled his engines back, wings flaring, but still trying to kiss me. I narrowed my optics, slapped and shoved at him, as I hissed and made other pissed off sounds. He made them right back at me as he still tried to smother me with kisses.

I ceased my animalistic sounds and snarls when my computer rung with an incoming call. I saw who it was, my wings perking. Then I turned back to my mate.

"Get out!" I shoved at him frantically.

"Don't want me around anymore? What if I want to talk to your friends, too?"

"OUT!" I stood to shove at him, trying to get him out the door.

"I can't even say 'hi?'"

"You're embarrassing! Out!"

"I'm fun! They can watch as I frag you. I'm still hard."

"Ugh! Out!" I pressed my back against him, pushing as hard as I could to get him out the door we were almost at.

"I don't think I can, Star. I think… Gravity is getting heavier or my hydraulics are failing." He then fell on me, limp.

"ARGH!" I managed to hold him up as I kept pushing him out of the room. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"I'm broken, Star. I can't." He smirked.

I managed to get him shoved out of my room, him still acting like he couldn't move. "Argh! You're such a pain!" I slammed the door shut. I quickly ran back to my desk and sat down before answering the call. I got my intakes back under control from all the wrestling, fluttered my wings, and smiled. "Hey, Gears!"

"Hey, Stars." Gearshift smiled at me. "How's my silly Seeker doing?"

"Alright. Still waiting for sire to say something about the new laws."

"He still hasn't done anything? He probably backed out."

"He has one more orbital cycle to do something."

"I seriously doubt he's going to do a thing."

"Well, he doesn't want me leaking his secret."

"Be careful, Stars. I worry he may try to just like… Take you out."

"He won't."

"He almost did."

"Yeah, well, I made a mistake accidentally challenging him, so…" I shrugged. "He won't kill me."

"I seriously doubt that."

"Sire will break and make the laws to protect himself."

"More like he'll break _you_ to protect himself. What if he just doesn't care? Like, he's been Alpha for a slag long time. He's proven to everyone that he can't be beat and he's all 'superior' with the… billion sparklings he's produced. I'm not a Seeker, but I grew up with you guys. I know how the Seeker culture works with the Alpha. And that means that once an Alpha establishes themselves as much as Skycutter has, no one frags with them. Ever."

"They do if they seriously screw up."

"I don't think Skycutter getting intoxicated when barely out of adolescence and killing a hooker will cause people to riot or challenge him. A backlash, sure, but nothing crazy. We don't even have evidence he had interface with the hooker. If he was so drunk he couldn't tell where he was or what he was doing anything could of happened."

"My sire has over thirty breeding mates and over eight hundred creations. All he does is frag. You can barely catch him _not_ fragging. I know he fragged a hooker. He's probably fragged a lot before trining."

"How old was he when he trined?"

"He trined uncle Flare when he was 27 stellar cycles old. They met when sire was like 19, but Flare was 17. Sire waited for him to be of age before they mated."

"Okay, so, he basically was dating and knew he had a trinemate before he even had started officially looking. With less pressure on him to stay 'perfect' for strangers he probably was more relaxed about hooking up with other people and just not let Flare know. But, still not solid evidence he did have affairs."

"Not an affair if you're not mated to someone."

"So, I can call what you've been doing an affair?" Gearshift raised his optical ridge at me.

I rubbed over my faceplates. "Please, don't bring it up."

"Starscream, it's a problem."

"I know it is. But… I love him and want to be with him."

"Then date him without the interface and talk to your trinemates."

"We were talking about my sire, not Skyfire."

"I've been talking to Skyfire about this. You both are being immature about the situation. I am very close to driving over to yell at you and make you confess to your trinemates." He jabbed a digit at the screen.

"Gears… Gearshift, We're going to stop and do it properly. I haven't interfaced him in a while now. It just… Got out of servo for a bit, but we're getting better. Passion and lust just was blinding us. We… _really_ love each other. A lot."

"I know you two do. But you can't be going behind Thundercracker and Skywarp's back. What if they found out? What if Thundercracker hurts you again? What if he beats you and flogs you and-and chains you to your berth for orns just like he did last time? What if he goes after Skyfire? You're in Vos, now. Skyfire doesn't have Iacon police protecting him. Vos is under Seeker control. Thundercracker would get away with murder."

I wiped at the coolant tears leaking down my cheekplates, scared of the thought of Thundercracker hurting me again like he had last time he caught me cheating. I couldn't go through that again. I didn't want to attempt suicide again. I finally wasn't suicidal and I did not want to go back to that place. I wanted to be happy and _feel_ happy.

"We'll stop. We just lost control for a bit. I love my trine. I want to be the best for them." I choked out, swallowing.

"Then be the best for them. I know you can."

I nodded, looking away so I could calm down.

Gearshift was silent for a time before faintly smiling. "Wanna see my grandson? He's visiting."

I quickly nodded, my wings perking.

Gearshift left the screen for a moment before returning with a chubby, grounder sparkling that was only three decacycles old. I finally managed a small smile, seeing the little one, wishing mine were that small again.

"Hey, sweetspark." I greeted softly.

"Say hi to your godsire, Offroad." Gearshift made him wave his tiny servo.

I waved back. "Hey, Offroad. Sorry, that you grounders have such lame designations."

"Says the one designated after a screaming ball of fire and gas."

"Hey, my carrier gave me it because she said I came out of her screaming my helm off and throwing a fit. And I was her 'little star' that shone brightly during a hard time of her life. My designation holds sentimental value to the best carrier ever."

"Well, this one is designated Offroad because he was conceived on the side of the road. So, his designation has a story to it."

"I was conceived over a waste bucket."

"What?"

"It's true. Carrier was trying to clean out her waste tank when sire barged in and banged her. So…. Yeah."

"That explains everything, actually."

I snickered. "What? That I'm filth or something?"

"No, that of course I would be best friends with someone who was conceived when their carrier was on the bucket. Did she birth you while on it, too?"

I giggled. "She went into labor while over it with me, but I popped out in the hospital. So, close enough."

"Of course you made your carrier go into labor while she's cleaning her waste tank. No wonder you have a potty mouth."

I giggled, glad that he temporary forgot about my affair with Skyfire. Too bad I wasn't honest with him… I hate myself.

* * *

 **The Next Orbital Cycle**

"Oh! Hah…!" I grasped the desk before me as I leaned over it, my optics offline, biting my lower lip plate as my engine purred. I fluttered my wings, loving this so much.

Skyfire had an arm wrapped tightly around my waist, his other servo holding my chin up so he could easier kiss me on the lip plates from above. He thrust into me hard and fast, not having been in me for several orbital cycles now. He was so excited he kept biting my shoulders and wings, his own wings fluttering.

I bounced on my peds, smiling broadly, moaning loudly, and so in love with this. If interface could be cute and beautiful, this was the perfect example of it. Just enjoying ourselves, only love, happiness, need, and the desire to be as close together as possible.

"Nrrrgh!" Skyfire cried when he finally overloaded, cumming all his wonderful fluids inside of me like a cannon.

I gasped at the sensation, then looked back at him, smirking. "Love, you came a little early on me. I still need more lovin'!"

He panted softly. "I know. I'm sorry. Just… Excited. Been a bit since I was last in you. And I don't have anyone else to satisfy me between our times together."

"You have your servo and pictures of me." I winked up at him.

He sheepishly smiled, looking away. "Well…. Yeah, I… Ahem… Only most nights. But it's not the same."

"Awww! Skyfire only masturbates to my pictures most nights!" I fluttered my wings. "How romantic."

"Okay… At least three times every orbital cycle that I don't get to actually have intercourse with you." He uncomfortably scratched the back of his neck.

"Awwww! That's the sweetest thing." I leaned back against him. "I love you."

"I love you, more." He kissed me on the lip plates. "Mmm, I could kiss you forever." He kissed me again, getting his glossa involved.

I giggled into his mouth, my optics offline, loving this so fragging much. "I wished you could, big guy. Hump me more, please?"

"Absolutely." He kissed a little harder before resuming his thrusting. "Mmm, Starscream." He kissed my neck cables. "Love you. Love you, so much."

"Hah… Oh… Mmm." I fluttered my wings, optics offlining, and biting my lower lip plate. I reached back and held the side of his helm as he kissed and nipped my neck, craving his gentleness and love. My trinemates were always rough and savage about interface, but not Skyfire. He sometimes got rough for the first overload because of excitement, but after that… It was so smooth, slow, gentle, and just the best thing ever. "Oh… Skyfire… Just join me already and let's have sparklings."

He faintly smiled. "Without a moment's hesitation, my little Seeker." He kissed me on the lip plates. "When do we tell your trinemates I'm moving in?"

My optics onlined, dim. I vented a sigh. "We do need to tell them something eventually."

"We do." His servo left my chin to grasp my inner thigh and pull my legs a little further apart.

I adjusted myself, pressing my aft against him. "Oh… I just worry… Oh… About them not approving you."

"They've known me for a long time. I helped raise their creations. I don't see why they wouldn't want me around."

I bit my lip plate, just focusing on feeling him inside of me. Spreading me apart, moving in and out of me, his massive spike rubbing hard against all of my sensory nodes. Primus, it was heavenly. Just thinking about how he felt inside of me makes me so wet down there.

"I don't know… I think… I think right now we're, oh… We're just stressed over what sire is doing."

"I'm stressed over what he does, too. He hurts you a lot."

"Hah… Yes, well, I probably am not, oh… Not handling the situation as best as I could be."

"He shouldn't be hurting you."

"Tell him that. Hah… Mmmm." I fluttered my wings. "I hope he sees reason and makes those laws. Hah…. If not by tonight then… I'll need to pay a visit." I reached down, touching where he entered me, feeling him moving in and out of me.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, just… Felt a little off there for a moment."

"Need me to slow down?"

"No, you're fine." I returned my servo to gripping the table. My optics focused on a glass of energon, watching how the energon sloshed around from us shaking the table. "I wished every Seeker could be happy and pain free like I am. Well… Pain free from unwanted pain from a trineleader."

"We'll get there. Just need to keep pushing and educating." He lifted my chin to kiss me on the lip plates.

I fluttered my wings, gently kissing back. "Love you."

"Love you more."

I held the side of his helm again, letting him kiss me so lovingly on my neck cables, my optics offlining to enjoy the sensation.

"Sire has to make the laws. I'll tell everyone what he did otherwise."

"Be careful that he doesn't come after you."

"Now you sound like Gearshift."

"Well, he's been calling me a lot to talk about you."

"Does he talk about us?"

Skyfire didn't answer immediately. "A lot. He advises we cease before Thundercracker murders me."

"Yeah, well, we'll stop when we're satiated." I grunted.

"He's right. we really shouldn't be doing this."

"Oh, so you want to just stop fragging me because of the slim chance anyone finds out?" I looked back at him.

"I don't need to frag you to love you."

"Heh, your entire body begs to differ."

"We need to be careful."

"We are careful."

"Still…"

"Stop worrying. You're job is to frag me, not worry about possibilities. We're fine. No one will ever find out."

"Don't jinx us."

"I'm not going to overload if you keep talking."

Skyfire vented a sigh, then bit me on the nape. I winced, but fluttered my wings.

"That's it, big guy. Take control of your Seeker." I pushed back against him. "I'm all yours. My body is your plaything."

"I rather have a person to love than a thing to play with." He kissed me.

"You're so sappy." I reached up and grabbed his chin. "Less talking, more humping and osculation."

He chuckled. "Osculation?"

"It should always accompany copulation." I giggled.

"I love you."

"I love myself." I smirked.

"Silly, little Seeker." He kissed me on the lip plates. "Never change."

"I promise I won't. I'll always be your silly, little, fabulous Seeker."

"I know you will be, my love. You'll always be my everything. I will always love you, defend you, protect you from the dangers of the world, and hold you close to me."

"And I will always be yours, always cuddle with you, and never leave your side. Not for anything."

"And I will never leave yours. Not for a single damn thing." He kissed me on the lip plates, holding me close as he concentrated on thrusting into me and making love to me.

I wish he kept those promises. If only he knew how much he would hurt me, and how much I needed him throughout the war…

* * *

 **The Next Orbital Cycle**

I was pissed. Sire hadn't said or done anything to announce or create the new laws I had demanded. And I wasn't having any of it. I grabbed my trinemates and we flew to the palace. I barged in, and stormed into the throne room, not in the mood to deal with anyone.

"What the hell?!" I shouted angrily as I stomped down the hall, towards Skycutter on his throne.

"Hmm?" Skycutter looked up from kissing Flare, who was sitting on sire's lap. "What do you want, spawn of mine?" He grumbled before returning to kissing uncle Flare on the lip plates.

Flare purred his engine, his arms wrapped around Skycutter's neck, curled up on his trineleader's lap. Turbine sat on the arm of the throne by their locked helms, waiting for his turn to get love.

I stomped up the dais and stopped before them. "Why didn't you make the laws? I gave you three orbital cycles!" I balled my fists at my sides, wings flaring, and shaking with fury.

Sire rolled his optics, turning back to me. "Watch your tone or else you'll get a flogging." He snapped. " _Now_ , Starscream."

"Tell me why you didn't make the laws!" I shrieked.

"Submit or else you will get a flogging. Worse than the last one I gave you." He growled, wings flaring.

I forced myself to calm down and looked down, my wings lowering, showing submission to him. Sire waited to make sure I was truly being submissive before continuing.

"You're not my superior, Starscream. I am the Alpha and I make the rules. Try as you may, but you will not undermine me. As for your attempt of a threat… I handled it."

I looked at him, keeping my wings low. "How so?"

"How so, what?"

I narrowed my optics. "How did you handle it, _sir_."

"You learned that story from my creators." He paused, shaking his helm a little as if he was saddened by something. "They should know they can't disobey the Alpha even if they raised me."

My wings perked. "What did you do?"

"Go ahead and tell everyone what they told you." His smile only grew, but it was not the smile of my sire. I didn't know who had that evil smile, but it wasn't the mech who raised me. "The same thing will happen to you."

My optics grew, terrified of what he had done to my grandcreators. "What did you do?" I asked a little softer, scared.

"You don't want it to be a surprise?" His smile was so large now, so cruel.

"Where's grandcarrier?" I choked out, knowing he did something awful. "What did you do to my grandcarrier?"

"Hmm, what didn't I do." He turned to Flare, that evil smile now lustful. "What more could I have done?" He kissed Flare on the lip plates.

"Sire, please, w-where's grandcarrier?"

"Why don't you go find out yourself? I don't think he'll be leaving his room. Not without assistance."

I didn't want to stay any longer. I ran down the dais, gestured for my trinemates to follow, and we bolted out onto the balcony. We transformed and flew to my grandcreators' home as fast as we could. I transformed and rushed inside, the door unlocked. My spark was pulsating quicker, praying I wasn't right in my fears.

There were no servants. I didn't see signs of a fight, so maybe they were alright. But it wasn't the state of the servants that concerned me.

I ran throughout the apartment until I came to the open door of their berthroom. I stopped, trembling, suddenly unable to cycle my air. I would learn how to be brave in these situations vorns later, used to the scene. But, this was my first time ever facing it.

The door was open because it had been ripped out, and the floor was wet with energon. I was trembling, not wanting to go in, but I had to. I stepped forward, but Thundercracker grabbed my arm.

"Let me go first."

I looked at him, shaking so hard, coolant starting to pool in my optics. I should of let him do it. I should of stayed back. But, it was my grandcreators. I had to see it myself.

I walked ahead, unable to answer him, and entered the room. I felt my spark drop inside of me, like I had been shot in the gut, my knees felt weak and wobbly, and just… It felt so surreal. Like a dream. Like this wasn't happening. I was trembling so hard, I could barely stand.

On the berth were my grandcreators. Grandcarrier was ripped apart, his entire torso torn out of him in a vicious attack, his limbs ripped off, and his face still frozen in his dying screams of shock, horror, and pain. Grandsire was beside him, holding him still, damaged from fighting, but that wasn't what killed him. He had been shot in the helm point blank. And the room was a mess. Energon splattered everywhere, items knocked off shelves and the desk, furniture flipped over and broken, and all the signs of a struggle for survival.

Sire had murdered his own creators in a horrific attack, all to protect his pride. To scare me and stop me from fighting against him. To not have to change anything he was doing.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed with everything I had in me. All my shock, my despair, everything just came out in that scream as I fell to my knees, and lost all control of myself. I screamed as tears gushed from my optics, unable to speak, just cry and bellow in complete hysteria.

Skywarp stood there, horrified, unable to even conjure up a thought. Thundercracker swallowed, holding himself best he could for us, but even he was trembling from the sight.

"AHHHH! NOOOO! AHHH! H-he-NOOOO!" I kept shrieking and bawling, unable to control myself. I was in their energon, sticky from having been puddled there overnight. They had died on the last orbital cycle of the countdown. I had given them an execution date.

Thundercracker finally managed to walk over to them and begun to respectfully move their arms over their chests and close their mouths, making them look peaceful in death. I kept crying, taking forever until I could finally get myself to stand and approach the berth.

"I-I'm sorry." I choked out. "Th-this is m-my fault."

"It's not your fault." Thundercracker said firmly, but softly. "You did nothing wrong. Skycutter is the monster."

I slowly shook my helm, then hugged my grandcarrier, knowing that he was the main victim of sire's wrath with how damaged he was. I couldn't imagine his last moments, knowing that it was his own son, the son he carried inside of him, raised, and loved, was the one who viciously murdered him. And grandsire watched it, held back my Turbine and Flare, unable to save his mate as his own son killed his beloved. Then killed him.

"We need to contact their other creations and have a funeral." Thundercracker gently said as he stroked my wing. "They died with their honor, and will be buried as the warriors they are."

I couldn't care less about honor at that time. My grandcreators were dead and it was all my fault.

My great aunt and uncles were called and they took over handling the bodies and preparing them for burial. Sire didn't attend the funeral we had the next orbital cycle. His siblings were in as much shock as I was, and they screamed and shouted at sire after the service for what he had done. But sire didn't care. He was still the Alpha, and that was all he cared about.

I was inconsolable. I still feel like it was my fault. I pushed sire, he reacted, and my grandcreators were murdered all for the lust of power and arrogance. I may not have been that close to my grandcreators, but they were still my grandcreators.

After the funeral I went to speak to my carrier. I ordered my trinemates to wait outside the room, wanting them to warn me if sire showed up. I didn't trust him anymore. I feared for my life, now.

"Carrier?" I said quietly as I entered the room.

"Oh, my little mechling." She came over quickly and hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry. I heard what happened. It's not your fault, sweetspark. None of this is."

Coolant started to leak down my cheekplates as I hugged her back. "He killed them."

"I know. He's awful." She said quietly so only I could hear in case anyone was listening. "He's a terrible person."

"I never thought he would-"

"He's done many awful things to stay Alpha."

"But to kill his own creators?"

"He only cares about his position." She cupped my cheekplates and studied me for a moment before venting a soft sigh. "I'm so sorry this is all happening, sweetspark."

"It's my fault. I pushed him too hard. He killed them because of what I did."

"No. He killed them because he's just selfish and cruel." She was silent a moment before continuing. "Killing them isn't the only thing he's done."

My wings slowly perked, getting more anxious. "What else did he do?"

"It's not all that bad." She looked down as she took my servos in hers, then looked back at me. "You're getting another full sibling. I'm sparked."

I bit my lip plate. "I thought he was giving you a break?"

"Well, he was, but… After all of this he's sparked all of his breeding mates. Well, those he could. That's all he's been doing the last few orbital cycles. And all he's been doing this morning. Trying to reestablish his superiority by making another batch of sparklings. It's not the worst thing. I love my creations and can handle having another. Promise you'll come by and help me, though. All your full siblings either are trined and busy with their own creations, and Hellfire is in another city… You're the only one not currently raising sparkling."

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll help you. Got any designation ideas?"

"I'm thinking something cloud related again. I have Nacreous, so… Might as well go with that theme again. But all the designations I can think of that's cloud related are more mechly to me. I don't think they'll work for a femme." She paused. "Do you have any femme options? You had more of those than I did."

I faintly smiled. "I have a few that I have saved away in case Thundercracker sparked me anymore. I actually was going to designate Rogue something else if things had been different in my life at that time."

"What were you going to designate her?"

"Chandelle."

"Ooh, I like that one. Well, if there's a femmling in me that will be her designation."

"It's a nice designation."

"You have a nice designation. I am wonderful at designating my beautiful creations."

"You are. Especially with Hellfire. Little aft is certainly from hell…"

"You love him. He's a good mech."

"I love all my siblings minus Nacreous."

Her wings lowered. "You two used to be so close…"

"That was before he became an abusive fragger who betrayed my trust and let me be beaten by Thundercracker, and encouraged Thundercracker to beat me. And then he abused Maelstrom so much she killed herself."

"He feels bad about what happened."

"I don't care how he feels. He killed her."

Carrier was silent, not wanting to hate or upset any of her creations. We were all she had. She couldn't speak to her other family thanks to being a slave, and her former trinemates were not allowed anywhere near her.

"Starscream… I know you're mad at him… I know you disagree with traditionalism-"

"That's an understatement…"

"Sweetie…" She vented a sigh. "I wish so much that the world was a better place. That no one ever hurt you… That just-"

"Skycutter is on his way over, sir." Thundercracker said quickly as he and Skywarp entered the room and closed the door behind them.

"Will you be alright?" I asked carrier, holding her servos.

"I'll be fine. He knows I'm sparked so is being careful with me." She looked up at me. "Don't push him. Please, be careful."

"I always am, carrier. Keep me updated on the sparkling and let me know if you need anything."

"I will, my love. Be safe." She kissed my cheekplates before hugging me.

"I will, carrier. I love you."

"Love you, too, my little mechling."

"Let me know what sire is-"

I turned around when the door opened and Skycutter was standing there, his trinemates behind him. He just smirked, smug, proud of himself, and threatening me.

"Hello, Starscream. You here for another beating?" He asked so casually.

I knew he was in a violent mood. Obviously pissed from his siblings yelling at him for murdering their creators, and now he was looking for someone to take out his frustrations on. And I wasn't going to be his punching bag.

"Warp us!" I ordered as I leaped to Skywarp, grabbing his arm.

Skywarp instantly teleported us back to our apartment. I took a moment to calm myself down, that being far too close for comfort. Thundercracker hugged me, stroking my backplates, reassuring me that I was safe.

"I… I'm going to my room for a bit." I said softly after a moment.

"Need anything from us?"

I shook my helm. "No, I'll be fine."

"Love you."

"Love you, more."

Thundercracker pecked a kiss to my lip plates, then Skywarp did the same. I went to my room and closed the door behind me, venting a tired sigh. I lied on my berth, looking up at all the pictures I had on the wall of my trinemates, Skyfire, Gearshift, my creations, nieces, nephews, and other family members. My optics stopped on the family picture of me as a sparkling being held by my carrier, and sire there holding her close to him, them both smiling. Sire had always taken family pictures like this with his creations and whoever their carrier was. It was the only picture of him I had up on my wall, because he actually was my sire in that picture. Not the monster that killed my grandcreators or beat me.

I looked at my nightstand, a lamp, a framed image of me with my trinemates, and a few datapads sat upon it. I studied my reading selection, some titles were scientific journals, some fictional literature, a couple non-fiction, and then one was… Everything.

I picked up the last one and stared at the cover of it. _Towards Peace_ by Megatron of Tarn. I had already read it five times by now. I onlined it, and began to read it all over again.

* * *

"Hey, Pookie, you going to do something other than sit on your sexy aft all orbital cycle or what?"

I rolled my optics. "I do not appreciate the nicknames, Bitstream." I bitterly replied, not looking away from the TV screen.

"You might want to give the TV a break, my beautiful love." Thundercracker said as he walked by. "You've been watching that for joors now."

"I'll give it a rest when I feel like it." I grunted.

"What is that? Gladiators?" Bitstream perked his wings.

"Yes."

"Why are you watching that?"

"I'm watching Megatron."

"Mega-who?"

I rolled my optics. "The grey grounder tearing apart his opponent. The one with the sexy hips."

Thundercracker started to cough as if he was choking on something. Bitstream raised an optical ridge.

"I'm sorry… Did you just say a grounder was… 'sexy?'"

I flicked my wings, rolling my optics again. "Grounders are capable of being sexually pleasing. Can I please watch in peace?"

"He's been obsessed over that grounder for a while, now." Skywarp commented as he worked on hiding our pamphlets in fake crystals that had secret compartments in them. Something that no one would expect to hide a dataslug, and normal for Seekers to have since we use crystals for courting.

"Why? He's just an ugly… Is he a miner? He is! He has the-the yellow stripe things that miners wear for-"

"Can I _please_ watch my TV?" I snapped, wings flaring.

"Someone is being a grumpy plates." Bitstream glared at me.

"Aw, Bitsy, be nice." Sunstorm frolicked over all giggly and unhealthily joyful as he always was. "Starscream is just enjoying his show."

"It's not a show…" I grumbled.

"Just kind of weird…" Bitstream grunted, gently hugging his trinemate back when Sunstorm got all snuggly.

"Everyone has their own past times and things they enjoy. I like hugging you. That's what I enjoy." He giggled, wings fluttering, oozing out rainbows, joy, love, and all sappy things that make me vomit.

"I like hugging you, too, Sunshine." Bitstream kissed his trinemate. "But I love you sucking me off even more."

Sunstorm giggled. "I _love_ sucking you off!" He kissed Bitstream on the lip plates. "I loves you bunches and bunches, Bitsy!"

"I love you right back, darling."

"Can you two keep it down?" I demanded.

"Whatever, Pixiedust."

I really hated those nicknames.

I changed the channel when it went to commercial, seeing what the news had instead. My wings perked as the screen showed my sire, the news reporter announcing that the Alpha would be speaking in the plaza later that orbital cycle. I flicked my wings, so angry with him and what he had been doing.

"We going to that?" Thundercracker inquired, resting his elbows on the back of the couch as he leaned over me.

"Think it would be worth it?"

"Maybe. Always good to stay on top of what he's doing and saying."

I looked up at him, then back at the TV. "Perhaps we should attend."

"We can meet up with our creations. I bet they'll be there."

"Probably. Bitstream, when does Hotlink return?"

"Eh, probably before Skycutter speaks. He worships him so definitely will make Sunshine and I attend."

"Hmm." I thought, mulling over if it would be worth it or not. "Everyone else will be there. Might as well go."

"Okay, we'll wrap up all of this then." Thundercracker kissed me on the lip plates.

I pecked the kiss back to him, then switched the channel back to the gladiator fights. My wings fluttered, seeing Megatron again.

"Ugh, I seriously don't see why you think he's 'sexy.'" Bitstream groaned.

"Just watch."

Bitstream did, just in time to see Megatron tear his opponent in half, energon splattering everywhere on his body and surroundings. Bitstream's wings perked.

"Okay, that was sexy, but he's still not hot."

I smirked. "Keep telling yourself that."

"I will, Half Pint."

I rolled my optics. Primus, I hated how he used to talk to me.

* * *

I stood in the crowd with my trinemates and creations around me. My creations had brought their trinemates and some of my grandcreations with them. A lot of Seekers were gathered to hear sire speak. A lot was going on in Vos with the Senate, the state of more crime happening on Cybertron, general unease and corruption everywhere, and the recent events of Skycutter murdering his creators had really created a stir in the Seeker population. We were nervous, anxious, and confused with everything going on with the Alpha, government, and Cybertron. We needed answers and looked to our leader for them.

Little did I know how much my life would change this seemingly normal orbital cycle.

"My Seekers!" Skycutter greeted us from where he stood on the stage, his trinemates in formation behind him, the royal guards all around in their usual positions. "I have good news. Twenty-two of my breeding mates are sparked once more, and soon another set of princes and princesses will arrive." He paused as some cheers and clapping went off in support of him having more creations. "But, that is not why I am having this speech. There is much turmoil and unrest in Vos caused by the arrival of the Senate and Sentinel Prime demanding that I give up much of the city and the space port to their control. This will not come to pass. I will do my utmost to protect Vos' resources and economy from the non-Seekers, ensuring Vos stays Seeker controlled and flourishing.

"Cybertron is not well, and her conflicts have entered our city. We must unite as one to face these new threats that seek to tear us apart, confuse us, and destroy our way of life. Submissives must follow their trineleaders, and trineleaders must protect their trines. We mustn't forget the laws that have saved our kind for hundreds of vorns, since the founding of Vos and even before her creation.

"And you must have faith in your Alpha. I will do all that I can to ensure we stay safe and free from harm from the outsiders, the grounders, and the Senate. There are those who would not only defy me, but betray our kind. Other Seekers we must be wary of and avoid. Other Seekers who would sell out their own kind for personal gains." He paused. "It is with a heavy spark that I will reveal that I was forced to terminate my own creators for their part in trying to subvert me. To break down the Alpha so that our enemies could penetrate our defenses and take hold. I didn't want to do it, but there was no other way to secure our safety. Times are changing, and we must change with them. And, unfortunately, this means stricter-"

I couldn't take it. Beat me for fighting for victims, that's one thing, but calling my grandcreators "traitors" to save your sorry aft? Not happening.

"LIAR!" I shrieked as I shoved through the crowd to the front. "YOU SLAGGING _LIAR_!"

Sire ceased in his monologue to look down at me, his wings hiking. "Guards, take the heckler away."

"YOU DIDN'T KILL THEM FOR 'PROTECTON!' YOU _MURDERED_ THEM TO PROTECT _YOURSELF_!" I was grabbed by two guards who started to roughly lead me away. "Argh! YOU MURDERED THEM BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME YOU FRAGGED A HOOKER WHEN UNDER AGE!" I shouted as loudly as I could.

There were gasps, wide optics, and whispers now, everyone exchanging shocked and confused glances. Skycutter glared down at me, his orange optics filled with death.

"More lies spewed forth from a blasphemer who fights against tradition." He replied calmly. "Tie him to a post. He will be flogged."

I kept struggling. "You murdered your own creators to hide what you did! YOUR TRINEMATES KNOW! They've always known, but you kept this a secret to not face backlash. YOU HAVE _NO_ HONOR! You fragged a hooker than _murdered_ her! You are not worthy of being Alpha! You haven't done a damn thing to help Vos! To help your people! All you've _ever_ _done_ is sat on your throne, fragging your breeding mates, and neglecting your hundreds of creations!" I kicked at the guards as they kept trying to take me towards the whipping posts. I was so pissed, so wanting him dead. I hated him with every molecule of my being. "You're abusive, cruel, selfish, narcissist, and a _murderer_! Anyone would be a better Alpha than you!"

Skycutter glared at me. "Anyone, Starscream? I supposed you could do better?"

I growled my engine. "I would be a thousand times better than you, Skycutter."

"Is that a challenge?"

And like the idiot I am I spoke. "Maybe it is!"

Skycutter flicked his wings. "Release him."

The guards instantly did so and stepped away from me. I flared my wings, watching sire hop off the stage and stomp towards me.

"I haven't been challenged in a long time, Starscream. Son or not, I will handle you as I did the others." His wings flared, engine growled, and the fire's of hell burned within his optics. "You'll be joining your grandcreators, now." He murderously growled, no longer my sire. This… He was now the beast that would do whatever it could to see me dead.

And it was at this critical moment that I realized I screwed up. That this wasn't going to be sire beating his misbehaving son for speaking ill will of him. No, this was it. This was when Skycutter, Alpha of the Seekers, would kill me, rip me apart in as many pieces as he could, burn my remains, and recycle my body to be his new waste bucket. This would be how I died.

"STARSCREAM, FLY!" I heard Thundercracker scream.

My optics widened, suddenly terrified. I turned, transformed, and took off just before Skycutter grabbed me. He transformed and chased after me, but I was faster. I powered my thrusters to the max, my spark racing, freaking out, knowing that only one would still be alive by the end of this orbital cycle. And I just knew it wouldn't be me.

I dove and spun between towers and spirals, desperately trying to lose him. But despite how fast I was, he managed to stick with me, never losing sight of me. I dove down, vertical as I descended, then pulling up sharply to avoid collision with the street. I sped down the road, avoiding grounders and vehicles. I was panicking, trying to focus on escape, but all I could think of was how I was about to die horribly.

A train suddenly appeared before me and I had to quickly pull up to avoid it. I wobbled, trying to gain control again, my sensors warning me that sire was right on my tailfins. I pushed myself harder, everything around me a blur as I desperately tried to escape.

"Ah!" I cried when Skycutter's nosecone harshly hit my tailfin.

I pushed harder, but I couldn't get myself to go any faster. I pulled up and flew parallel to a tower, my undercarriage almost scraping against it's side. Skycutter was still behind me, still staying right on me.

I leveled out when I flew over the tower, avoiding air traffic, trying to remember what I had in my subspace. Guns? I had my arm cannons, I knew that. Do I have my swords? Maybe? No. I have a knife! Yes, a knife is good. But, that'll get me too close and the arm cannons take precious time to get on. I have… Um… I had crystal flowers Thundercracker gave me last night. I… What else did I have?!

I chandelled sharply followed by an aileron roll, avoiding the air traffic. I realized we were by the space port now, and the air traffic was a lot larger. I descended sharply to avoid a cargo vessel as it began its ascent into the atmosphere. I had to barrel roll to avoid crashing into Seeker escorts for the ship, then plummet to miss a smaller spacecraft.

I raced through the parked ships, some being loaded, avoiding the lifts and workers who were on the landing platforms. I barely missed the traffic control tower, then shot up to take advantage of the free skies.

But in my haste to ascend I ignored my radar. Another flier T-boned into me, not seeing me with the speed I was going at.

"Ahhhh!" I cried out as I spiraled out of control and plummeted.

I transformed, powering my thruster heels to the max, trying to stop my descent and gain control of myself. I crashed into a shuttle, bounced off it and struck another flier, before plummeting again, trying to gain control, trying to slow my descent, trying not to die.

I hit the side of a tower, still falling. I reached out and grabbed at the tower's side, my thrusters screaming with the strain, denta gritted as I desperately tried to stop.

Finally, I got control, coming to a stop. My digits were torn and leaking energon from being dragged against the building's side. I looked around, wings hiked, scanners searching. I heard his engine, but didn't see him.

I found the closest window, powered my thrusters, and flew through it. Glass shattered, the shrapnel flying in all directions as I skidded to a stop inside of an office. It was thankfully empty, silent save for the wind now angrily billowing from the broken window.

I ran through the office, suddenly realizing my knee was damaged from one of the people or building I had just struck. I grit my denta and forced myself to run with a limp, getting out of the office and running down a hallway. I kept glancing over my shoulder, I knew he must have found the broken window by now. He would find me.

I stopped, needing a moment to cycle my air, cool off, and give my knee joint a break. I only got less than a klik before I heard large thruster heels loudly clacking down the hallway. My optics widened, then I realized I had left a trail of energon from my digits, dripping along the way.

I found the nearest door, forced it open, and closed it behind me. The room was dark, only light entering from a few windows. It was an electrical room, grids, wires, all that filling it. My wings perked, remembering how I was able to defeat Thundercracker with an electrical surge. Maybe I could repeat that?

I started to look around, trying to find the power outlets, where the most electricity would be, and how I would be able to connect it to Skycutter.

As I was tearing out an outlet and getting a wire connected to it, the door opened. I forced my wings down, trying to make myself less visible. I grabbed the wire and carefully began to connect it to more, trying to put as much charge into it as possible. My spark was racing, hearing his thruster heels clacking, searching for me.

I got several wires wrapped together, plugged them into the outlet, and backed under a desk, holding the end of the wire, trembling. I could see the shadow of his peds from beneath the bottom of the desk. I covered my mouth, trying to remain silent, knowing that he was right next to me, only a desk separating us.

"I know you're here, Starscream." He spoke, directly over me. "Come out and I will make your death quick. Not drawn out. You are my son, after all, and I rather not make you suffer."

I was trembling harder, coolant pooling in my optics, hearing my own sire say those words… It made me sick, terrified, and broken inside. For so long I thought he loved me, and I loved him. And all that was thrown away because of his greed, pride, and selfishness.

He kept walking, I worked on trying to calm myself down, trying to stop trembling. I startled when I heard a loud crash, him throwing something down, then another bang.

"Come _out_ , Starscream!" He barked, his rage growing, throwing something.

I prayed. I prayed for myself, my creations, my trinemates, my carrier… Everyone I loved. I was going to die.

He threw over desks, grids, ripping out wires, kicking things. He looked around in his search for me, pausing, his wings perking when he saw the wires I had connected, followed their trail, and his optics landed on the desk I was under, the drips of energon confirming his assumption. He smirked.

"Whatever you're planning won't work, Starscream." He said so calmly, so evilly, as he approached. "Surrender now and I will ensure you will be buried with your family rather than disposed of in the garbage."

I stayed still, watching the shadow grow larger.

"You do have very fine looking trinemates. I might use them myself if I decide to let them live." He stopped at the desk, leaning over to peer on the other side. He smirked, seeing the tip of my wing. "Come out, my little Star."

"AH!" I cried when he flipped the table over on top of me.

"ARGH!" He tackle me, grasping my neck and slamming me to the ground. His optics burned with the desire to kill as he hissed in my faceplates, his engine roaring.

My optics widened with absolute horror, my being freezing with unadulterated terror for a moment before I got myself to react. I kicked at him, grasping at his wrists, trying to free myself. He easily lifted me up and threw me against the wall, pinning me by my neck. Then, he began his attack, grasping at my chestplates and tearing at them.

"AHHH!" I kneed him in the codpiece, which managed to get him to move his face closer to mine.

I helmbutted him as hard as I could, striking him directly on the olfactory sensor. He stepped back enough for me to jerk my leg up, kick him in the chestplates, and push him off me. I activated my thrusters directly in his faceplates, ignoring his cry of pain.

I grasped the wires I had wrapped together and with my unusual speed coiled it around his neck. He grabbed me and threw me onto the floor. I quickly scampered to my peds and ran to the outlet. He grasped my ped, slamming me down again. I kicked at him, glancing back in time to see his snarling, furious faceplates as the animalistic cries Seekers emit when energon thirsty escaped his vocalizer. Now, I know why everyone fears us when they hear those cries…

I dug through my subspace pocket and pulled out the first thing I felt: Thundercracker's crystal flowers. I smacked them across his faceplates as hard as I could, which loosened his hold on me. I kicked him off me, ran to the outlet, and powered it on.

"AAAAIIIEEEEE!" He shrieked as the electricity surged into his frame, twisting, jerking, and falling over.

"Just _die_!" I shouted before running for a window. "AH!" I fell over when something hit me in the back of the helm.

I looked back, seeing him getting to his peds, fighting the electricity, grabbing something else to throw at me. I started to get up when I was hit by another projectile, then felt the absolutely agonizing pain of electricity coursing through my body, overpowering my systems, and making me spaz.

He had me.

I kicked and struggled as he held my leg, pulling me closer to him. I activated my thrusters to the max, taking off, him still holding me.

"ACK!" He cried as the wires yanked on his neck, still connected to the wall.

That got him to let go of me. I covered my face just before crashing through a window. I transformed, broke the sound barrier, and sped away.

I had to return to my trine. I needed to get to Skywarp. He could teleport me away and sire would never find me. We had to get away. I had to protect my trine.

I neared the plaza, still seeing the crowd of Seekers there. I flew down, transformed, and landed just in front of the stage.

"SKYWARP!" I shouted, running towards the crowd, knowing he was somewhere there. "My trine! Come to me!"

"Starscream!" I heard Thundercracker shout, but at the same time the roaring of a jet engine.

"AHHH!" I screamed when Skycutter transformed and landed on me, his thruster heels tearing into my wing, bending it, and the inner structure of my side crushing.

"Little, filthy-" Skycutter growled, grasping the back of my helm before beginning to repeatedly slam it against the ground.

"Ah! Ah! Help!" I cried out, engulfed with fear, pain, and the desire to somehow make it out of this alive.

"No one is saving you." He growled, and I knew that the guards were blocking the other Seekers from coming forward. No one stopped the Alpha.

He grasped my neck, I felt his digits digging into my neck cables as he tensed, preparing to rip my helm off. I opened a subspace pocket and desperately rummaged inside, trying to find something to use. My digits felt the handle of one of my swords, and had I not been so scared I would have been relieved to know I still had at least one in my subspace pocket. I yanked it out, swung back blindly, and it struck something.

"AH!" Skycutter yelped as my blade tore into his lower leg.

I activated my thrusters as I twisted around, getting out from under him. I got to my peds and in the same movement swung my sword, slicing the blade over sire's chestplates. He growled, a deadly snarl on his faceplates. Then he lunged.

I screamed as I reacted, stabbing my sword upward as he tackled me. My blade stabbed into his abdomen, but it didn't hinder him. He started to tear at me, punch my faceplates, and I desperately fought back. I felt my cheekplates being ripped off, then my shoulder vents, and my chest plates. I grasped his jaw and tried to tear it off, my other servo still holding my blade. I forced it upward, trying to cut through his body, trying to severe an organ, a primary fuel line, anything. I felt his energon gushing on me, the handle of my sword becoming slippery with energon. Then, energon started to pour from his mouth and onto my face.

"Ahhhh!" I screamed, trying to get him off me, trying to win this.

I was forced to let go of his face and use that servo to search my subspace, needing something else to help me. But, sire was on to me. He grasped me, stood up, and swung me before throwing me against the stage. My helm slammed against it, and I fell to the ground. I didn't get a chance to stand before he grasped my wing and easily ripped it off my back.

"Ahhhh!" I shrieked, grabbing the blade still in his body, trying to pull it out so I could use it for defense.

He grasped my helm and slammed it against the corner of the stage, then kneed me in the abdomen. I curled into myself, and he kneed my face, then kicked me to the ground. He was upon me once more, tearing off my other wing, then grabbing a leg. I activated my thruster, trying to get away, but he only swung me around once more into the side of the stage.

"Give up, Starscream." He spat out energon before pulling the blade out of his body.

I coughed up energon, my optics shattered, no longer even feeling half my faceplates, and missing denta. I shrieked when my own sword was stabbed through my abdomen, and into the ground, pinning me. I screamed, my HUD flaring warnings at me, feeling my energon pour out of my body.

Then his peds appeared before me. He grasped my helm and forced me to look up at him. Energon was coating most of his faceplates, and I could tell he was weakening from the energon loss, but so was I.

"You're not my son." He growled before punching my face.

I spat out energon and more denta. "I no longer want to be." I growled, my right servo digging through my subspace, trying to find anything to help me.

"Die knowing that your trinemates will live the rest of their lives suffering because of you. They will never know freedom again."

I narrowed my optics. No one threatened my trinemates. But what he said next was what truly pissed me off.

"Your carrier will undoubtedly give me trouble once I kill you. I'll just frag her until she's used up then send her to be with you. No point in keeping defective Seekers."

No one insulted or threatened my carrier. _No_ _one_.

I whipped out one of my arm cannons and without aiming fired. He cried out when it shot him in the wing, jumping off me. I bit my glossa and forced myself up enough to grab the blade beneath my body and pull, getting it out of the ground. I painfully got to my peds, reaching back to grab the sword from behind, but it wouldn't bulge. My optics widened from the pain and fear, not getting my own weapon out of me, and he was coming back. His thrusters activated as he flew towards me, and I only had a nanosecond to react.

And I did the only thing I could. I activated my own thrusters, not even getting a chance to time this out. He realized it too late, unable to stop before the blade protruding from my body stabbed him in the faceplates just as he was about to tackle me. I grasped the back of his helm and his wing, using my thrusters to steer us towards the wall of the stage so we would crash into it. I screamed when we did, the handle of the blade being shoved forward by the stage my back was forced into, causing the blade to go completely through my own body and slice off half of his faceplates.

He cried out, stumbling back, his jaw now only hanging on by the pistons on one side of his mouth, his glossa dangling out, and the protoform structure of his face now visible, as well as his brain module on the one side.

I gasped, intaking harshly, looking down at the blade penetrating fully through my abdomen. I grasped it, grit my denta, and yanked it out, ignoring it cutting my palms. I forced myself to stand despite feeling so weak, my knees wobbling. So long as he stood, I had to.

I know the crowd was screaming, I know things were being shouted, but I just heard static. Nothing but my own body. The warnings on my HUD, my pained intakes, everything else just… not being heard. And I knew I had to react. Sire was in a daze, shocked about the injuries he had received. I needed to react before he had a chance to recover.

I lunged forward, swinging my sword, only for him to block it with an arm. I missed his helm, but cut his arm. I had to remove limbs. I needed to tear him apart. I kept swinging, trying to get by his defenses so I could reach his helm, just hit him where I could kill him.

He found an open space and took it, swinging his arm and striking me in the side, the pain of my stab wound sending tidal waves of excruciating pain through me. I cried out, clutching my side, and he grasped me, activated his thrusters, and took me up. He started to grab my arm, preparing to tear it off, but I swung my sword and slashed the back of his servo. He let go of me enough that I was able to take advantage to grab his arm instead, and pull with everything I had, my thrusters activating to max. He grabbed at me, and we spiraled and spun around in the air, trying to take advantage of the other. Whoever managed to tear an arm off first would have the advantage. They may be the victor.

I did my best to stay behind him, pulling on his arm. I swung my blade and slashed at his wing and shoulder, trying to get him to release me, trying to cut something off him. But it was hard for we were tumbling, jerking, and flying wildly about. Finally, I got my chance and stabbed his shoulder. As he cried out, I grasped his arm with both servos, planted one ped against his side, and the other powering the thruster, and pulled with everything I had.

The sword wound helped, for I started to feel it give, I heard tearing of pistons, metal, and wires, then… I felt it come out.

I flew back, having to use both thrusters to stop myself, and realizing I held my sire's severed arm. I didn't get a chance to marvel at what I had just accomplished for he was upon me, wielding my own sword. I threw his arm at him, but too late. He swung the sword as my arms were still out, and sliced my right arm off just below the elbow. I screamed, but he was on me. I was slammed to the ground, him on top of me once more, and my sword stabbed into my shoulder of my full arm. I kicked at him, trying to get him off me, and finally flew away enough with my thrusters that I got out from under him. I yanked my sword out of my shoulder, feeling even weaker now with losing energon from my arm. I had to end this. I didn't have time. I was leaking heavily. But, so was he.

He was approaching me, his wings flared, wanting it to end as well. I had to stab him in the helm. There was no way I could win with brute strength alone. He was too strong for me.

My knees gave out from under me suddenly, and I fell to the round. I sat on my ankles, holding my sword as I curled into myself from the unbearing pain filling my system. I felt nauseous, my fuel tank damaged and barely able to hold anything in it. It was coming up, then I had a thought.

Skycutter stopped behind me, his engine growling, intakes heavy. He grasped my shoulder, and turned me around as he forced me up.

"Enough of this." He growled, his faceplates almost in mine.

And this is why I am known as more than just a "dirty" fighter.

I purged my tank in his faceplates, letting it all out as my damaged, sick fuel tank unleashed my mid orbital cycle fuel.

"Ack!" He leaped back, not expecting that, disgusted, and it probably hurt too.

I took the chance. My last chance. I leaped up with the last of my energy, no longer having reserves since I purged it out of me. With everything I had I stabbed my sword into him, knowing I got him, but not sure where. I pushed, suddenly finding myself over him as he now lied on the ground, and seeing where my blade was.

I had stabbed him in the neck, and energon was spurting out of it like a fountain. Energon flooded out of his mouth, or what was left of it, and even from his optics. He made the most awful choking, wheezing, and gurgling sounds as energon filled cavities it shouldn't, and poured out of him.

His limps were twitching, optics flashing, losing control of his functions. And I knew, I had him. I was about to win.

But then… I felt something. This was my sire. He created me. He gave me a home, he provided for me, he let me go to school when I asked him to, he gave me so many wonderful things… He may not have been the best sire, but he was good to his creations when raising us. When making sure we wouldn't be homeless after we were kicked out of the palace. That he ensured we got a good education, plenty of energon, and everything we needed to live the best lives under his roof.

And now here I stood, about to finish him off. All because he was no longer the sire I knew.

I considered it. I wanted it. I was going to drop my weapon, walk away, and give him a chance to live. But, then I remembered that he would only hunt me down again and kill me, kill my trinemates, and kill my carrier. He would force submissives to be raped and beaten by corrupt trineleaders, and would only stay in the palace breeding with his breeding mates, bringing more creations into this messed up world he had the power to fix.

And I knew, I couldn't let him live. I had to fight for the other Seekers, I had a trine to take care of, I needed to protect my carrier, and I had my own creations to ensure they wouldn't be harmed by him or traditionals.

I had to kill him to save myself, my family, and Seekers as a whole. And I hated this position I was in. I wished it was someone else. I wish that if sire had to die, someone else would be the one to kill him. Why did it have to be me?

Coolant leaked from my optics as I held back sobs, not wanting to do this.

"I-I'm sorry." I choked out. "I-I'm so sorry, s-sire." I swallowed. "I loved you. I-I really did. I don't want to do this." I said the last sentence so softly. "You'll only kill me and my trinemates l-like you did your own creators. I have to protect my trine. I-I have to help the Seekers i-if you won't."

His optics widened some, but he seemed resigned to his fate. He had accomplished so many things no Alpha had done, or probably would do, so he would not be dying without honor, without leaving a permanent mark on our culture, history, and people. He would always be remembered. And, I think he was sort of glad it was someone of his own CNA that would take over. That not some stranger would become the next Alpha, but one of his own creations carrying on his legacy. And I think knowing all of this gave him some peace.

"T-T-Tur-inne… kzzzt." His vocalizer spazzed with static as he tried speaking. "F-Fla-re."

I bit my lip plate, hurt more, but also proud in a way that his final words, final request, were for his trinemates. And I hoped that if I was ever faced with my own death all I would ask was for one more goodbye from my beloved life mates.

I looked up, noticing my uncles there at the edge, horrified at what was happened. I probably shouldn't have done this, but I would want the same courtesy given to me. I gave a nod of my helm to gesture them over.

Flare was a bawling mess, on his knees and hugging his dying trineleader, blabbering how much he loved him, how scared he was of him dying, and begging me to not kill him. Turbine was also crying, but trying to be strong for the both of them.

I couldn't give them long. They may become bold and attack me. I waited, letting them get a few final words in before I slowly pulled out my sword.

"P-please!" Flare begged. "D-don't kill him!"

"I'm sorry, uncle Flare." I swallowed. "I-I don't have a choice."

"No!"

I offlined my optics as I stabbed down, hearing it strike him, hearing Flare and Turbine shriek, and feeling… Empty.

I onlined my optics, seeing my sword had plunged through Skycutter's brow, between his optics, piercing his brain module, killing him almost instantly. I stepped back, numbness engulfing me first, then horror, and I couldn't move. I fell to my knees, shaking, staring at my servo, unable to scream, cry, or do anything despite everything building up in me to do that and more.

I looked up and saw Flare and Turbine holding sire's body close to them, bawling and screaming with everything they had in them over losing their trineleader. I know not too much time passed, but it felt like an eternity when Turbine unsubspaced a pistol. I had no thoughts going through my processor, but I knew what was happening. What trinemates do when they lose all that mattered to them.

"I love you." Turbine said softly to Flare.

"I-I love you." Flare choked out, holding Skycutter's body on his lap as he hugged him.

"I'll see you both soon." Turbine said as he aimed the pistol at Flare's helm.

Flare steadied his helm, making sure the barrel was aimed directly between his optics. Then the gun went off.

I shook, but couldn't move, watching Flare's now lifeless body fall over Skycutter, still holding him. Turbine then held the pistol to his own helm, just as other Seekers were running over.

"CARRIER, _NO_!" I don't remember who said it, but I think it was Torque, one of Turbine's sons.

Another shot, and Turbine fell onto his trinemates' corpses. I was in a daze, but I remember their creations rushing around them. The Elite Trine, now gone, refusing to leave each other even in death. As it should be.

I felt servos grabbing me, then feeling myself dragged away. I heard voices, but didn't understand a word. I saw faces, but recognized no one. I was taken somewhere, felt things happening to me, but knew nothing.

Then I screamed. I kept screaming. I couldn't stop screaming. I clutched to whoever was closest to me and shrieked with everything I had in me. And then I cried. I bawled loudly, unable to control myself, feeling the person I was clutching to holding me close. I was shaking so hard, I no longer had control of my body, my emotions, nothing. I just cried, and screamed, and shook, and clung, and lost control of everything.

"Look at me!" The person I clung to had shouted a hundred times before I finally was able to hear them, see them, and stop my screaming, but not my crying. I know it was Thundercracker, but at the time it was a stranger. "Starscream! Look at me! Star… You need to control yourself. Starscream, you're wounded."

I just looked at him, still unable to think or control myself. Then, it happened. And this was what finally made me start to regain control of myself.

A guard stopped beside us, standing firmly like a statue, his optics on me. Then, he spoke the words that marked the beginning of the rest of my life.

"What does the Alpha command of his Seekers?"

* * *

 **The true Alpha has taken his place. And the beginning of Starscream as we know him.**

 **It just took 871 pages for Starscream to become the Alpha. Yes, it's that long thus far. Who's crazier? Me for writing that much or you for reading it? Y'all are insane.**

 **Starscream and his trine are very young, inexperienced, and really at the beginning of their lives with how long Cybertronians live. So, they are immature and silly with interface, with their every day lives, etc. But, they are not use to death and violence despite being raised to be deadly warriors. Thundercracker is the only one who has killed, but he killed a guy who raped his daughter. Starscream and Skywarp never saw that. None of them have seen a family member killed by Seekers. The savagery, the shock, all of it is just something they never expected to see or suffer through. And just the shock of it causes intense emotions. They will learn to "get use to it" with the war, hardened, and able to set aside emotions. But, right now, they're just normal people, they love their families, and they don't expect to encounter death like this.**

 **And, many women go into labor over the toilet, so the thing with Moonlight feeling Starscream coming out while she was cleaning her waste tank is something that happens a lot.**

 **Starscream in the IDW comics has an unhealthy obsession over Megatron before Megatron started to abuse him. Like, he knew so much about Megatron he memorized ALL of his gladiator fights, down to every move. He was so enthralled with Megatron, idolized him so much, and so Megatron was able to take advantage of that to hurt Starscream, as well as hurt others who also idolized him so.**

 **About the final battle:**

 **So, I knew this was going to happen before even writing the fic, but never really thought about the actual fight scene. I wanted Star to decapitate Skycutter, because that's my headcannon of how he defeated the former Alpha in my other fics. But, this time the former Alpha is his own sire, so, there would be more emotions and reasons behind fighting and killing him.**

 **Skycutter is NOT easy to fight. He's massive, he's skilled, he's fierce, and he's hard to kill. Star was able to defeat him because Starscream is very skilled, he has his unusual speed, and he's brilliant. Mix that in with his strong will to survive, and he's not easy to take down. The battle is quick, and Star uses his speed to manipulate the outcome. Along with his weapons and anything he can find to use, such as the electricity to drain power from Skycutter.**

 **Usually when Seekers fight for dominance they don't use weapons, because the fight is all about brute strength. But Starscream is not strong. He's clever and smart. And using his weapons is his skill, his intelligence. And Seeker fights for dominance or the Alpha position, no one is supposed to get involved because it's just between the two fighting. It's fair if no outside help intervenes. So, no one would help Star or Skycutter. Just the rules.**

 **And despite the crowd, TC, and Skywarp obviously screaming, shouting, and saying something during this fight, it was not shown because 1) that would remove tension of the battle away from Starscream who is the one fighting and probably going to die, and 2) Starscream is telling the story. These are his thoughts and emotions. And despite him having Thundercracker or Skywarp fill in blanks in other parts of the story that he may not have witnessed, this is the climax of Starscream's early life. This is the ULTIMATE turning point of his life, so only his thoughts and emotions matter.**

 **As for Flare and Turbine, they and Skycutter always have been a close trine. They are very affectionate, loving, and care deeply about each other. Skycutter may be traditional and beat them if they misbehave, but they're also traditional so are fine with it. They have a very strong bond, and Flare is the "baby" of the trine, being the sensitive submissive. Turbine is a little dominant, but nothing like Skycutter dominant. They are a very loving, close, protective trine. And snippets of this bond was shown here and there throughout the fic.**

 **So, when this loving, close, strongly bonded together trine lose one of their own, their entire worlds shatter. They may have children, siblings, and other family members to love and live for, but Skycutter was their everything. He was part of them, all they had and needed in life. As all functional trines are. So, losing Skycutter so suddenly, so terribly, they died mentally before they did physically. And as someone who has lost their entire world and still is just wanting to die to be with my furbabies again, it is so easy to be at this point. To feel like they do and death be the only answer.**

 **Seekers will commit suicide to stay with their trinemate. Not all Seekers do it, some can find the strength to continue on for their other trinemates, for family, etc. But, Flare and Turbine didn't have really anything they had to stay for. Their kids are grown and doing fine with their own trines and families, and almost all the time when an Alpha is killed off by a challenger, the victor then kills the former Alpha's trinemates to ensure absolute victory. Or, they may become breeding mates.**

 **So, they were fucked regardless. And being so emotionally broken and in turmoil in that moment, there wouldn't be hesitation. Go be with their trineleader as quickly as possible. No need to say farewells because their creations and families knew how much they loved them. Their trineleader came first.**

 **A sudden death of someone you love so much is the worst feeling ever. At first you just don't accept it, you're shocked, it's just... The emotions written in this are real emotions I felt, and still feel, after losing my dog and cat, Maggie and Genevieve. They are my children. I might as well have birthed them, they are my absolute world, my heroes, my everything, my true and only children. And I am still suicidal and filled with despair, grief, just broken from losing them. The only reason I haven't followed them is because I know I need to save more lives. Need to turn more people vegan, the entire planet vegan, and just save lives. Maggie and Genevieve would want me to keep fighting for their rights and the rights of others. So, I will. Not like activists always live for long. We tend to be murdered by the evil people in the world who want us to shut up about the evil they do so they can keep doing it.**

 **I hope you can somewhat understand the emotions, denial, shock, and horrors of loss I attempted to convey in this chapter. And just understand the true price of death. Any life taken, regardless of species, age, etc. is a tragedy, a nightmare, and should never be taken lightly, or supported.**

 **And the part of Starscream hiding as Skycutter is in that room for him looking for him. Welcome to how my original stories are like. Dark, tense, almost horror, and a shit ton of graphic violence. You guys should read some of my stories about my dragons and aliens. Think I get violent and dark in these fics? Ha!**

 **I hope you guys liked that fight scene. I wrote it on the fly, just letting the characters tell me what happened next.**

 **One more chapter to go (maybe?) then this fic will be over. Please, tell me your thoughts on this chapter, the story, share, fave, and draw me fanart! I love me some fanart. :P Seriously, no one has drawn me fanart and it annoys me when really bad fanfics have fanart but I don't! :'(**

 **And please comment! It really makes my day reading your thoughts, and encourages me to keep going with these fics. :)**


	29. My Future Begins

**Chapter 29**

"What does the Alpha command of his Seekers?"

I blankly stared at him, confused why he would say something like that to me. It didn't make sense. Then… It hit me.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-" I dumbly stuttered, intaking sharply as I was trying to talk, but also wailing pathetically.

"He needs medical attention." Thundercracker ordered quickly.

"As you command." The guard quickly left, other guards were gathered around now, shielding us from the other Seekers.

"We need to get him to a doctor!"

"Medic inbound." A guard informed my trinemate.

I kept crying, burying what remained of my face into my mate's chassis, all of this feeling unreal, like I wasn't even physically there. It just felt so… Like a dream I knew to be a dream, and yet… More real than that. I don't know exactly how to explain it other than it just did not feel like I was actually there, but yet I was.

I was pried off my mate and felt myself placed on my back, my optics having difficulty focusing from the coolant, lack of energon, and how damaged they were from the fight. I felt servos touching me, but couldn't discern where or what they were doing. I saw a face before me, red optics never looking away from mine, but I couldn't make out who it was, even when the person spoke and sounded like Thundercracker. My HUD was flashing something at me, red words filling my vision, I know they were telling me how damaged I was, but at that moment I couldn't even read. I didn't know what it said, or what people were saying.

I don't think I was on the ground for long, but it certainly felt like an eternity before I didn't feel the ground at all. I was being carried, not sure who, but I was moving. A sound like a roaring river filled my audio receptors, only for me to learn later it was the crowd of Seekers shouting in shock, horror, and anger. The guards had to keep everyone at bay as I was carried off to the palace.

I think it was when I was in the palace that I noticed my carrier by me, looking at me, saying something to me, but I registered nothing. I am not sure this happened or not, but I remember being brought into a bright room, hearing lots of shouting, like frantic shouting, then I don't remember anything else.

* * *

I onlined with a start, my systems powering quickly as I sat up, feeling the need to fight, to run, to move, but seeing only a small room with some medical supplies in it. I felt weak, and sore all over. I looked down, noticing wires connected to me, one monitoring my spark pulses, and another an energon drip. My right servo was a skeletal structure, still being constructed, the old arm probably too damaged to bother with salvaging. My HUD informed me it had only been a few joors since I had fallen into stasis lock, and I was still in the process of filling my energon reserves and systems going through manual reboots.

I looked around, noticing a royal guard standing at attention by the door, and by my medberth was Skywarp, recharging on a chair. I wasn't sure why I was here, why I was so damaged, but then the memories returned, my optics widened, and my spark raced.

I started to hyperventilate, gasping heavily as coolant filled my optics, my entire being began to quake, and I lost control of myself.

Skywarp startled online to my loud sobs, quickly hugging me and holding me close. "Shhh, it's okay, Scree. You're fine. The medic fixed you up and a doctor is finishing up everything else. You'll be able to leave soon. The CR chamber helped ya a lot."

"H-h-h-he's dead! Th-they're dead!" I shrieked, seeing my uncles commit suicide before me, seeing my sire's death ridden face once more. "I-I-I-I killed them!" I started to go into shock all over again, unable to stop shaking, to stop hyperventilating until I couldn't even talk or sob. I was bawling, wailing out my horror, grief, all my raw emotions, never having felt like this before.

"Scree! Calm down!" Skywarp grabbed at me, but I was too distressed.

I shoved at him as I leaped off the medberth, tore the wires out of me, and bolted for the door. The guard blocked the exit, and I had to push and fight him to get out. But I did. I ran out of the med room, and down the familiar hallways. Guards were shoved out of my way as I fled, hearing my trinemates shouting at me as they gave chase.

I ran out onto a balcony, transformed painfully, and took off. It hurt, my altmode missing some important details, but I somehow managed to fly out of the city and towards the remaining mountains of Vos. To where Seekers originated. I had been to the area a few times with my siblings when we were young adults, and with teachers who taught us about Vos' history. Only fliers could access the steep, jagged cliffs and high mountain peaks. A sanctuary where Seekers lived for vorns hiding from those who would otherwise had wiped us out.

I flew deeper into the mountain range until the pain was too much to bear any longer. I transformed and landed inside a cave, a cave that most likely was the home to my ancestors. Where they lived, raised their young, and hid from outsiders. And now, it was my place of solitude from the world I never wanted to go back to.

I found myself on the ground, curling into myself as I cried, and wailed, and screamed, and bawled, and punched the ground, and let everything out. I hurt myself from punching the rock structure, tearing at my own plates, and at one point slamming my helm down to cry into my folded arms.

I don't know how long it took for me to finally calm down, to finally just get all those emotions out of me, and just exhaust myself from crying. I lied there, starring blankly at the wall across from me, seeing ancient carvings left behind by my ancestors, but not curious of what they were of. My processor was occupied with what had just transpired some joors ago. When I became something I never intended, never wanted to be.

Alpha. I was the Alpha. Whether by some happy accident, if murdering your own sire could be called an "accident," or some gracious miracle, or a horrible punishment from Primus… I still do not know which. I was terrified. I was fearful of my future, of what I would do to lead the Seekers. I knew a lot about politics and all, but it's one thing to be familiar with it, it's another to actually be heavily involved. And there would be challengers, and I couldn't lose to them because despite not wanting this, they would kill me and my trinemates. I would have to fight and win, or flee Cybertron to stay alive.

But how would I win? How could I fight and prove myself capable of leading when I knew I couldn't lead? I wouldn't be able to do this. I would fail the Seekers. And the Senate and the Prime wouldn't listen to some tiny, weak Seeker who had carried multiple sparklings. They barely listened to Skycutter who was a behemoth of a Seeker, had created hundreds of sparklings, and was absolutely terrifying beyond words.

A Seeker that somehow little, weak, pathetic me managed to defeat all on my lonesome.

I wanted to renew my crying with how scared I was of my future, but I was out of coolant and exhausted.

"Located him." I heard a guard say outside of the cave a couple of joors later.

It didn't take long for my trinemates to rush into the cave and be beside me.

"Oh, sweetspark." Thundercracker cooed as he quickly got on the ground and pulled me onto his lap. "We're here. You're safe."

"We're not leaving ya, Scree." Skywarp hugged me, trying his best to also be on Thundercracker's lap with me.

I didn't speak, didn't look at them, just curled into my blue mate's chassis needing them. They were patient with me, kissing me gently, holding me, and telling me how much they loved me and would protect me. It took a few breems before I finally spoke.

"I killed him." My vocalizer was quieter and weaker than I thought it would be.

Thundercracker pressed his brow against mine, his exhales caressing my faceplates. "Yeah… You did what you had to. He was going to kill you."

"I killed uncle Turbine and uncle Flare…"

"They went out on their own terms. Anyone else would had slaughtered them brutally. You let them decide."

"I have so many little and unborn siblings. They need their sire."

"They need a sire figure, yes. But I don't think Skycutter was the most fit for that anymore…"

"I'm scared…"

"I know you are, love. I'm scared, too. We're all scared. Being in charge of people is a lot of work. Especially an entire subspecies… An entire city-state…"

I clung a little tighter to him, feeling like crying. "I-I can't believe they're dead."

"Times are changing. Maybe it's… best that leadership also changes."

"Why me?"

"I don't know…" He vented a sigh, his arms wrapping around both Skywarp and I, holding his mates close to his chassis. "I don't know why anything happens anymore… Maybe… You just are meant to achieve so much more than you thought you were. Maybe this is the only way of stopping traditionalism. Maybe this was the best way for Skycutter to go. If a traditional had defeated him, the trinemates of the Alpha always are killed, and it's never pretty. Flare and Turbine were able to go quickly and have a moment with Skycutter before the end. And a traditional would kill all of Skycutter's young sparklings and tear out the unborn ones, and then rape or kill or do both to the breeding mates. Three losses are better than a hundred… Any loss is a tragedy, but at least your youngest siblings and the unborn will have a chance to grow up and live their lives. Your carrier will no longer be hurt, nor killed."

"But what if I'm challenged and killed? You and Warp would be next."

"If that does come to pass, so long as I stay with you to whatever end we face, I will face it. I can't live without you."

"Yeah, I'll shoot myself to be with you and TC if you guys kick the bucket before me." Skywarp added.

"You're not alone, Starscream." Thundercracker continued gently. "Skywarp and I are with you a trillion percent. Whatever you say, we will do without hesitation. Where you go, we will follow you. We won't ever leave you, even if the world is ending." He kissed me. "We're going to help you with this. Promise."

I slowly nodded, not looking at them. "I don't know what to do."

"Well… What would be the first order of business?" Thundercracker paused. "I think a funeral for the Elite Trine would be paramount. Then, we go down the list from there. A proper funeral and burial… Then deciding on what to do with Skycutters breeding mates and his creations still living in the palace… And then making your new laws?"

"The funeral and breeding mates first, definitely. Let me think about our course of action after that." I finally looked up at him.

"Well, before we get to the funeral, you need to finish with repairs. Look at you… You're still damaged and weak from the fight." He cupped my cheekplates, studying me for a moment before kissing me on the lip plates.

"I feel like slag…"

"You look like it."

"I'm tired…"

"I imagine." He squeezed me in a loving hug. "Let's get you home. You need to rest, refuel, and get your last repairs completed. Look at this." He held up my skeletal servo. "I can't kiss this. Need this all fixed up."

I faintly smiled. "I don't know… Might be easier to force these up your valve."

"Yeah, no." He kissed me. "Okay, Warp, you're gonna need to scoot. Can't get up with both of my beautiful femmes on me."

Skywarp giggled. "But our mech needs to carry _both_ his femmes!"

"I wish I could." He kissed Skywarp before giving his aft a few gentle pats. "Move this sexy thing."

Skywarp got up, and Thundercracker stood up, holding me in his arms bridal style as he did so. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he carried me to the mouth of the cave, several guards standing by.

"He's fine. Return to the palace. We're going our own way." Thundercracker ordered before Skywarp teleported us.

I honestly expected to be teleported into our apartment, but instead was into the medical ward of the palace. I was made to lie back on my medberth, wires connected to me, and forced to relax. My trinemates sat on either side of me, holding my servos, telling me how much they loved me.

The doctor, a flier who was not a Seeker, eventually returned and finished construction on my servo, opened me up to repair the interior of my abdomen that had been stabbed, and replaced more plates on me. Most of my injuries would have to self repair, and some medical slabs were put over some of the damage on my limbs, back, torso, and face. I hated wearing those things on my face because it made it hurt to talk, but, it kept it clean during the repair process.

I was released a few joors later with additives and energon cubes to snack on. I chose to eat a slab of metal than take those additives. I just can't stand the feel of them in my energon…

It was late into the night now, and I was still beyond exhausted. I just wanted to recharge and die, not that my trinemates would allow that... I realized too late where we were headed, my wings drooping, not wanting to venture to that familiar, and now upsetting room.

"What's wrong?" Thundercracker asked of me, his wings perking.

"I-I can't recharge in sire's room…" I swallowed, apprehensive about going back to that room.

"Why? It's yours now."

"I just… I-it's sire's."

"It's the Alpha's." Thundercracker reminded me.

I bit my lower lip plate, not having a chance to mull things over before my trinemates made me continue walking. The guards opened the door to the Alpha's berthroom, and I stopped. Everything left behind, untouched since the Elite Trine had left earlier in the orbital cycle. Pictures still on the walls and shelves, all their property where it should be, sire's royal garb and crown where he always had kept it on a mannequin.

My spark felt like someone was crushing it in their servos. It hurt seeing this, being reminded that they were no longer here. And even if I never had gotten along with uncle Turbine, and sire had become aggressive towards me near the end of his life, I always had loved and got along with uncle Flare. It just wasn't right that he was gone. That any of them were gone.

"It's the size of our apartment when you really look at it." Skywarp commented, his servos on his hips as he surveyed the room.

I stopped by the berth, scrutinizing it, my wings flicking. "I can't recharge here."

"Why not?"

"Because he probably conceived five hundred of my siblings here, and had many more frags. And those couches probably are where the other four hundred were conceived."

"And the rest conceived in the washroom like you?" Skywarp giggled.

I rolled my optics. "I'm a product of rape. Doesn't matter where I was conceived."

"We replacing everything?" Thundercracker raised an optical ridge.

"Get some UV light in here and this entire place will glow." I grunted. "At least replace the berth, chairs, couches, and cushions. Everything else a deep clean should suffice."

"So, if you don't want to recharge on the berth for fear of your sire's sparkling juices…?"

I was silent a moment before turning to my blue mate. "Can we please recharge in our apartment? I'm not ready for this, yet. We don't need to tell the guards. Just teleport over."

"I think we should have some guards with us. There will be some pretty pissed off traditionals all wanting to murder you. But I am alright with recharging at the apartment. Anything for my beloved."

"Thanks. I guess we can tell a few guards…"

"The ones outside the door will be enough." Thundercracker palmed the door open and gestured the guards inside.

I forced my wings up, feeling awkward about asking this, and how they were now treating me.

"Um, I… Y-your Alpha is not prepared to recharge in the used berth of my predecessor. I require a new berth and furnishings, as well as a impeccable and intensive cleaning of all the floors, walls, everything."

"It shall be done, my lord." One of the guards replied.

"Yes, well, it can wait until the morning. In the meantime… I will spend the night in my old apartment with my trine."

"No disrespect, sir, but that may not be the safest location for you."

"That's why you'll be there to guard us." I paused. "Remove the masks, please."

The guards were confused by the order, but did as commanded. My wings perked, recognizing the red faceplated Seeker I had kissed on the lip plates.

"Your designations?"

"Nacelle." The red faced one said.

"I'm Elevon, sir."

"I apologize for kissing you the other orbital cycle, Nacelle." I sheepishly replied.

"No, you're fine, sir."

"Starscream. Just call me Starscream. And my trinemates, Thundercracker and Skywarp." I gestured to them. "No need to be so formal. I'm not as strict as my sire was."

"The Captain of the Guard requires us be-"

I gave a dismissive wave. "I know how he is. He has a rod up his virgin aft he needs to get out. I'll have a talk with him. But, please, no need to be stiff around me." My wings perked as I took Skywarp's servo. "Skywarp will teleport us all to the apartment. No one will see us go there."

"Want me to do it now?" Skywarp inquired.

"Yes, please."

"And, done!" He announced before teleporting all of us to the apartment.

The guards were a bit dizzy from it, as usual for the first time teleporting. I took my trinemates to Thundercracker's room, wings fluttering, thrilled to be back where I felt safe and normal.

Thundercracker locked the door, then covered the window with curtains. He then pushed his desk in front of the door. My wings lowered, anxious of his behavior, beginning to comprehend just how different my life would be for now on. My mate scooped me in his arms before gently lying me down on his berth. I was soon squeezed in the middle of my trinemates, Thundercracker on the side of the berth facing the rest of the room. My trinemates held me tightly in their arms, protectively hugging me from any and all threats.

I swallowed, the thought of challengers or just hateful traditionals coming after me to kill me very real. I didn't want this. I never asked for any of this. I didn't want to kill my sire. Why was this happening?

"Shhh, we're here. We're going to get through this." Thundercracker cooed, holding my helm against his chestplates as I began to softly sob, coolant leaking down my optics. "I know it's scary. But, you can do this. We can do this. I promise."

* * *

I bit my digit tips as I stood in my new room, watching guards ad servants replace the furniture and deep clean the place. All of the former Elite Trine's property was being removed as well, to be placed in a storage room in the palace until I decide what to do with it.

"You wanted to speak to me, my liege?" A very massive Seeker addressed me.

I ceased my nervous gnawing to look up at him, my wings instinctively lowering. "Ahem, yes, Asperitas, I-I need to discuss with you the handling of the Elite Trine's bodies and funeral preparations." I swallowed. "There will be a funeral in two orbital cycles. I want everyone to have a chance to make it."

"Where there be a viewing?"

"Yes, and the bodies to be heavily guarded during it. The funeral will be held in the plaza, Eulogies shall be given by family and friends, and I will have the last one. Pall bearers will then carry the caskets to place them in the catacombs."

"With Skycutter's family?"

"No. A new plot. Sire has many creations so… Room for the future will be needed. And statues erected of them over their grave." I paused. "As for their remaining property, they left wills and those will be followed. Anything remaining will be given to family or buried with them."

"It shall be done, my lord."

"And, Captain."

"Yes, sir?"

"I know my sire allowed you to beat and flog your mechs, but no more. The guards will no longer be harmed if they make any mistakes. If you have problems with one and don't know how to resolve it, send them to me. Understood?"

Asperitas gave me a puzzle look, but inclined his helm in obedience. "As you command, my lord."

"One more thing: Summon Skycutter's breeding mates to mess hall in one joor."

"Yes, sir."

"Dismissed, Asperitas. Thank you."

I watched the Captain of the Guard walk off before resuming my nervous, digit chewing. Thundercracker approached and hugged me from behind, kissing my neck cables tenderly. I didn't react, letting him touch me as I scraped paint off my digit tips.

"You shouldn't be that. You may hurt yourself."

"What else do I do?"

"Everything is going to be fine. I promise."

"Says you." I curtly grunted.

"What's next on our to-do list?"

"Addressing the breeding mates."

"And?"

"Then I apparently need to speak to the Seekers, as advised to me by Noctilucent."

"Who?"

"Super old Seeker who sticks around to advise Alphas. I'm apparently his eleventh Alpha. He doesn't get out much due to his age. I've met him a few times when I used to live here, but he's not the biggest fan of sparklings."

"I would say this is the worst place to be if you don't like sparklings."

I shrugged. "I also have been told that I require tailoring…"

"Tailoring?"

"Royal garb."

"Sounds fun."

"Sounds unnecessary."

Thundercracker kissed me on the cheekplates. "All the preparation slag will be over before you know it."

"Says you."

"You'll be fine."

I vented a sigh. "We need to go. I have breeding mates to speak to."

"Let me grab Skywarp."

* * *

I stood in the mess hall, my trinemates in formation behind me. All of Skycutter's breeding mates were seated around the large table, awaiting what I would say. Some looked scared, some hopeful, some just broken.

"Ahem," I reset my vocalizer. "Hello, aunts, uncles, carrier." I greeted them anxiously, trying to be warm. "I asked you all here to apprise you of, well, of your future." I paused, looking over them all, many placing servos over their abdominal plates, terrified that they may be losing the little ones growing inside of them. And some of them were quite far into their carrying. "I am not traditional. I will not be committing atrocities as a traditional Seeker would. I will not kill any of you, I will not kill your sparklings, my siblings, I will not breed any of you. I know some of you wanted to be breeding mates of Skycutter, and the rest were abducted by him. I know some of you had trines before he took you, and you all have family you were not allowed to speak to. You all deserve to be treated as the individuals you are. And I am not a slave owner." I paused. "You are all free. You don't have to stay here ever again. You may return to your trines, to your families, to whatever life you had before. Not all of you may be able to, and for those who can't go or have no where else to live, you are welcome to stay living here for as long as need be. Have your creations here, receive the same medical care, everything. And due to my sire no longer being here to support you, I will pay sparkling support for the remaining Seekerlets you have and soon will have. I will buy all the energon, additives, everything they will require. And ensure they receive proper education, healthcare, and training." I couldn't help but smile when I saw their faces. Joy, exuberance, and even coolant tears as they all had broad smiles etched on their faceplates. Carrier was also crying with her glee.

"Let me know if there is anything you require. Stay as long as you want, invite your family and trine over. Do whatever." I paused. "I love you all, and I hope no matter what you choose to do we can still have a relationship."

"Oh, come here." My uncle Windraider said before hugging me.

Before I knew it I was being hugged, kissed, and told how amazing I was by 38 Seekers. It wasn't until I was walking away from mess hall that it finally hit me of what I had just done. I had freed 38 slaves after stellar cycles and vorns of being held here, raped, sparked against their will, and forced to cut all ties with their family and trinemates. They finally could live their lives how they wanted to, be with who they loved, and never be forced to have a sparkling ever again.

If only I knew at that time how many more chains I would be breaking throughout my future.

* * *

I bit my lip plate, watching myself in the mirror as a grounder was taking measurements of my arms, waist, and my height. My trinemates sat on chairs nearby, curiously watching.

"How long will it take to get him fitted?" Thundercracker asked.

"Tomorrow he'll have his garb." The tailor replied.

"I want purple." I stated. "I look good in purple.

"Any requirements for the crown?" The grounder began to measure my helm.

"I don't really care..? Never concerned me before."

"Why can't he wear Skycutter's crown?" Skywarp inquired, his helm cocking to the side.

"Because," Thundercracker got up, picked up sire's crown from the mannequin it still sat on, and placed it on my helm. The crown covered my optics, and still had room to wobble some. "That."

I sheepishly smirked, lifting the crown up with two digits so I could see. "You don't like this look?"

"Only if I'm using it to blindfold you and there's a gag in your mouth." My trinemate smiled sexily before kissing me on the lip plates.

I giggled, my wings fluttering, almost hitting the tailor.

"Don't move!" The grounder snapped, causing me to freeze.

"Sorry." I said in almost a whisper, letting the crown go accidentally, making it cover my optics again. I lifted it back up so I could see.

"You're so adorable." Thundercracker chuckled.

"I am." I smirked, my servos touching my chestplates, only for that crown to once more cover my optics.

Skywarp giggled. "You're cute, Scree. All widdle with a big, golden crown on yer helm. You look like a sparkling."

"This just makes me feel so small." I lifted the crown up.

"You are small, beautiful." Thundercracker kissed me.

I purred my engine, sheepishly smiling as I turned away from him. He grabbed my chin and forced another loving kiss to my lip plates.

* * *

I was sitting in my new room, watching as guards brought in boxes of my property being moved from my apartment. I vented a sigh, finally lifting the communicator to my audio receptor after dialing the number.

::Oh, thank Primus.:: I heard my lover's vocalizer. ::Where are you? What's happening? I-I saw the news but they wouldn't let me into the palace, a-and you weren't at your apartment, and-::

"I know… I should of called you sooner, Skyfire, but I just needed more time to process what happened yesterday. I informed the guards that it's now alright to let me see certain visitors. I'm going to let Gearshift know after I'm done talking to you."

::I saw the video. He tore you apart a-and-::

"And I won…" I vented a sigh. "I killed my own sire and then watched two of my uncles commit suicide." I swallowed as coolant pooled in my optics. "They're dead…" I said it barely louder than a whisper.

::I'm sorry, Star… What do you need from me?::

I exhaled heavily. "Please come over and hold me."

::I'll be right over.::

"Love you."

::Love you more.::

* * *

 **The Next Orbital Cycle:**

Thundercracker adjusted the garment around my waist, making sure it was just so. I looked up as he heard my soft sobs, his wings drooping as he stood. I was wearing my royal garb, purple and gold now covering much of me. My paintjob had just been redone, I was waxed and polished, and even my optics were made to be brighter. All the healing slabs had been removed, and the scars hidden with paint. Thundercracker vented a sigh before kissing my lip plates.

"You can do this." He said quietly.

I was trembling, biting my lip plate, not looking at him. He kissed me again.

"I will be right there. So will Skywarp." He paused, looking me over before fainting smiling. "You're stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. And this getup looks beautiful on you. I am so damn lucky to have trined the most beautiful and sexy Seeker ever to exist."

I sheepishly smiled, only to have him kiss my lip plates again.

"Ready for the finishing touch?" He smiled.

I nodded. Thundercracker picked up my crown, gold with red jewels, and eight high tines with a pointed jewel tipping them off each. Assiduously, he placed it on my helm, adjusted it, then carefully removed his servos. He stepped back, his servos clasped before his mouth, smiling at what he saw.

"Wow… You are so damn beautiful." He stepped aside so I could see myself in the large mirror.

My wings perked, this Seeker before me a stranger. I was so… perfect. No scratches on my paint, nothing crooked, everything meticulously painted over, waxed, buffed, placed, and done to absolute, flawless perfection. I was so shiny, so smooth that I could see myself in my plates. I almost gasped from how truly marvelous I looked, but instead just stupidly hung my jaw.

Thundercracker pushed it close before kissing me. "I know. You are so incredibly beautiful. You ready?"

I looked up at him, not use to hearing chains and jewels jingling on my frame when I moved. "I'll never be ready."

"That's why I'm going to be there for you. And no one will hurt you. That's what the guards are for."

I slowly nodded. "Alright… I-I can do this." I glanced back at myself in the mirror, hesitated, then unsubspaced my camera. "I want a picture."

Thundercracker took my camera from me. "I'll take it for you."

"Thanks."

"Smile!" He held it up.

I did so, and before long we had a quick photoshoot of me in different poses and making faces. I still have all those images to this orbital cycle.

* * *

I nervously walked to the stage, my trinemates in formation behind me, and guards all around, protecting me from every angle. I heard the crowd talking, I knew they were watching me, and I did my best to hid my trepidation of this all going horribly wrong.

The funeral for the former Elite Trine was tomorrow, and this orbital cycle I would address the Seekers, my Seekers, about the upcoming funeral, what to expect from me as Alpha, and hopefully try to convince them that I am not a weak, pathetic loser who got lucky in killing Skycutter.

Of course, convincing traditional trineleaders is not simple nor easy…

I stood upon the stage, my trinemates in formation behind me, the guards taking their positions all around. I surveyed the crowd, catching glimpses of half siblings, nieces and nephews, and a few of my aunts and uncles. I spotted Skyfire, seeing my precious creations and Skywarp's creations by him, all my grandcreations with them. I felt a little better knowing they and my carrier were all present.

Two camera drones flew close to me, extending their microphones out to catch every word I was about to utter. I glanced at them, not use to those things hovering above my helm.

I intook a sharp intake, letting it out slowly. I was beginning to tremble, biting my lip plate to calm down. I offlined my optics for a brief moment before speaking.

"My Seekers," I paused, the echoing of my vocalizer sounding almost thunderously for all to hear from surrounding speakers. "I come before you as your new Alpha, Seeker Starscream of Vos, son of my predecessor, Alpha Seeker Skycutter of Vos. I defeated Skycutter honorably two orbital cycles ago, before this very stage. Tomorrow, a funeral shall be held for the previous Elite Trine in this plaza beginning at 12:00. Mourners may view the open caskets and leave gifts. Eulogies shall commence at 18:00, after giving everyone an opportunity to say their farewells to the deceased. Family and friends shall speak, and I shall give the final eulogy. The Elite Trine will be laid to rest in their own burial ground within the catacombs and promptly have memorial statues erected above their graves." I paused. "It is with a heavy spark that I must speak of my own sire's funeral. I did not wish to fight him, nor kill him. But, fates that be, I find myself now your new Alpha.

"I will not shirk my duties, I will not fail you as your leader. It is my honor, and my privilege, to now lead you. To bring about a new age for Vos and her people. I will do my utmost to ensure Vos stays in the control of Seekers and not the Senate nor the Prime. And especially not the Functionists. I shall ensure Vos' economy blooms, that every Seeker and non-Seeker will have jobs, affordable housing, healthcare, and proper education.

"I will do more with regards of better education for not just our young, but those who wish to seek a higher education. To be doctors, attorneys, scholars, scientists, engineers, writers, artists, whatever your sparks desire. We may be a warrior culture, we may be bred and built for combat, but that doesn't mean we can't achieve other goals. That we cannot fulfill roles otherwise taken by grounders. And I shall ensure Vos builds proper academies for higher education in all fields. Not just for her people, but those in other cities who wish to come here and learn."

I paused, knowing this next part would be when vitriol would begin. "I shall also begin to implement new laws to remove the cruel and unnecessary attributes of traditionalsm. Mainly, the ideas that trineleaders may subjugate their submissives to rape, forced impregnation, excessive physical discipline, killing sparklings, chaining submissives, denying submissives access to birth control, and killing submissives." I could hear whispers, the growing anger in murmurs from the traditional trineleaders. But I saw hope in the optics of the submissives. "Starting this moment, no trineleader shall be allowed to tear a growing sparkling out of their submissive, regardless if the sparkling is a Seeker, unwanted, sired by someone outside the trine, or is disabled. If the Seekerlet is unwanted they are to be adopted. If they are disabled they are to see a doctor to repair imperfections. If they are not a Seeker, they are still a sparkling and will still receive the same treatment as any other sparkling.

"From this moment forth no trineleader is to use an energon whip on their submissives, unless for consensual foreplay. If a trineleader must use physical punishment for a severe crime, punishments must not pass forty lashes with a paddle, switch, or servo. Cables, tawses, and canes are only to be implemented for consensual foreplay.

"From this moment on no trineleader can kill their submissive. If they do not wish to be with them any longer they must come to be for a proper trine divorce. While Vos may recognize trining as legal bonding, the rest of Cybertron does not. I will end the legal paperwork of your trining, and the trine may split.

"From this moment forth no submissive is to be chained or locked away against their will. Denying them communication or free access to the outside is illegal and will result in severe consequences.

"From this moment forth, submissives are _not_ slaves. Submissives may see their families, their friends, and communicate with them without having to first seek the trineleader's permission. A submissive may deny interface to one or both trinemates, and may have access to birth control and refuse to be sparked.

"From this moment forth submissives and trineleaders will be able to seek professional counseling and therapy from professionals for free for the first stellar cycle, paid for by their Alpha.

"From this moment forth, anyone who breaks these laws will be punishable to the highest degree of the law. Consequences range from hefty fines, loss of freedom in the form of imprisonment, forbidden to be near your victim, and possibly public humiliation." I said this last part darker, my optics narrowing.

"From this moment forth, open court will be held every other orbital cycle in the throne room between 10:00 and 120:00, longer if necessary. If you must speak to me immediately, you need only ask a guard at the palace."

I paused, surprise, disbelief, anger, hope, joy, and delight covered the faces of the crowd before me. I wished to make more laws and even stricter, but I had to go slow. Too many at once may cause a worse riot than what I was about to experience.

"The Vosian police have been informed of these new laws and will henceforth arrest and prosecute those who break the laws. Submissives may report any abuse they witness or receive to law enforcement and have justice. I shall account all my Seekers and check in as needed to ensure these laws are being followed. Those who-"

"You have no right nor power to make such ridiculous laws!" A familiar vocalizer barked from the crowd.

My wings perked, turning in time to see the heckler shoving his way through the crowd and stopping before the stage. "I am the Alpha and have every right." I replied nonchalantly, knowing he couldn't get to me. The guards were right there.

"This is a submissive who got _lucky_! It's not worthy of leading anything!" Steelwing shouted bitterly, gesturing towards me as he addressed the crowd. "It cheated and fragged a shuttle!"

"Allegations. I have-"

"He's an adulterer!"

I flicked my wings, expecting something like this to happen. "And you beat submissives who are not yours. Guards, remove him from my presence. I can smell his stench from here."

Two guards broke formation to grab Steelwing by either arm and began to lead him off.

"You miserable, spike sucking whore!" Steelwing bellowed furiously as he was dragged off.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." I smirked, feeling so empowered.

But, this would not last.

"He's right! You have _no_ right to tell us what we can do!" Another traditional trineleader roared at me.

"Traditionalism is what saved our kind!"

"You're a submissive who's pissy because you got an aft beating!"

"You need a proper aft beating! Get over here and let me give it to you!"

"You're not my Alpha!"

"You're weak!"

"I'll tear you apart!"

"Kill him!"

"Tear off his limbs!"

"Crush him!"

"Skycutter was a _real_ Alpha!"

"You cheated! You didn't win fairly!"

"Non-traditional hippie!"

"Go back to your Syk!"

"You need to be raped and beaten!"

"Where's your trineleader?! You need a flogging!"

"Flog him!"

"Filthy submissive whore!"

Other vile words and threats were screamed at me, not all I can write down, most just wanting me dead, beaten, and raped. The crowd was more than just jeering, they started to lunge at the stage, the guards the only line of defense from me being ripped apart.

Asperitas grasped my arm and roughly led me away, my trinemates flanking me as guards tightly shielded me from all angles. My spark was pounding, paralyzed with fear. I heard my carrier, Skyfire, and daughters yelling something, obviously following as well. I was so scared, I couldn't even think. I saw guards having to fight back the murderous mob, shields were deployed, spears lowered, and I even heard gunshots.

It felt like an eternity before I was led into the palace and the doors closed behind us. Asperitas only then released me, having held onto my wrist so tightly he dented it.

"Secure all perimeters, bring everyone back in. We're locking this place down. No one goes in or out." Asperitas gruffly ordered the guards. "My liege, it's best you retire to your quarters."

I dumbly looked up at him, not sure if he had spoken to me. Thundercracker grabbed my upper arm and pulled me along.

"Thank you, Captain." My mate replied firmly. "Have energon brought to our quarters."

"As you command, my lord."

My trinemates led me through the palace, my creations, Skyfire, carrier, and grandcreations all following. I don't remember the trip to my room, but I remember how I felt once I arrived. I collapsed on my berth, quaking, hyperventilating, horrified at what had just transpired. Skywarp, Skyfire, and my creations were all around me, hugging me and trying to comfort me. Thundercracker saw to ensuring the balcony was secures, and saying something to the extra guards posted out there.

"Carrier?" Zephyr spoke softly, holding my servos.

I swallowed, coolant leaking from my optics, still seeing and hearing those angry trineleaders coming after me. Skyfire pulled me onto his lap, and Tempest handed me her youngest. I hugged my grandson, the little one chewing his miniscule fist, puzzled why everyone was acting so odd. Skyfire stroked my backplates as he held me close.

"Well, that was wild." Storm grunted, crossing his arms.

"It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." Dawn commented.

"How long are they going to be pissed?" Luna perked her wings as she turned to her sire.

"Probably for vorns." Thundercracker gruffly replied.

"Yes, because making laws to not be afts is 'oh so awful.'" Skywarp flicked his wings. "TC, you should beat them so they know how much punishment sucks."

"Fetch me a cable and I'll gladly do so."

"Beating them will only piss them off more." Carrier put in, sitting beside Skyfire as she stroked my leg to soothe me.

"Yeah, but it's tempting."

"Will this affect the funeral?" Zephyr asked as she kept her servo on my shoulder.

I shook my helm. "We're still having the funeral… Anyone who acts up will be kicked out."

"I doubt anyone will act up too much during the funeral." Thundercracker said as he leaned his aft against the back of the couch, his arms crossed. "They all loved and respected Skycutter. They will show him respect during his funeral. Once the service is over… Then there may be some issues." He paused. "I apologize for my sire's behavior. I knew he would be the most bitter about all of this."

"It's not your fault." Moonlight assured him gently.

"No, but I know he won't apologize so I better do it."

Asperitas knocked on the door before entering. "Apologies for the interruption, my liege."

"You're not interrupting. Please, come in." I quietly said.

Asperitas walked over. "No casualties. The mob has been dispersed, but my guards will be doubled for tonight. I will not risk it. I shall also prepare for more present at the funeral tomorrow."

"Sounds good." Thundercracker nodded. "I think a few bottles of engex are in order."

"I concur. I shall have some brought up immediately." Asperitas turned to me. "Any commands, my liege?"

I shook my helm. "I just need… A moment after that. The engex will help."

"It shall be done, my lord." Asperitas inclined his help before departing.

There was silence after he had left, finally broken by Skyblast.

"So… If I move in, do I get servants, too?"

* * *

That night, after my creations and grandcreations returned to their apartments, and my carrier to her room, I stood before the large mirror in my quarters. I bit my lower lip plate, studying the Seeker I saw. A king, not a prince, scared, small, and trying to be something I knew I could never be.

Skywarp hugged me from behind, his servos grabbing my chest plates and squeezing. "Squoosh squoosh! Your breastplates are mine." He giggled with that lopsided smile of his. "How about I take your majesty to the washroom and undress ya." He giggled again, his wings fluttering. "Get ya all covered in suds, and hosed down, and then… Smack your sexy, pert aft as water runs down it. Mmmmnnnnrrrrrggghhh!" He sexually grunted, humping my aft now. "I'm HOOOOOOORRRRRNNNNNNYYYYYYYY!"

"I don't know if I feel like interface…" I replied softly, still looking at the mirror, watching us both in it.

"Will a paddle help?"

"I'm not in the mood, love. Go interface with Thundercracker."

His wings lowered. "Please? One frag! Just one. I'll be gentle…"

I vented a tired sigh. "No, Warp. I just don't feel like it. But, when I do, I'll let you frag me extra to make up for tonight. Sound good?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Love ya, Scree." He kissed me before running to the berth to tackle Thundercracker and demand to be interfaced.

I stood there, looking at myself, not pleased with what I saw. I briskly walked away and onto the balcony, the cool night air greeting me. I ignored the guards and sat on a bench near the farthest edge of the balcony. I folded my arms on the banister and rested my chin upon them, gazing over Vos, my city, my home. She was quiet now that darkness had covered her, only the lights from windows, street signs, and street lamps revealing her existence. The mountains were visible in the distance simply because that was where no stars were visible. Luna 2 was beaming a dull light, Luna 1 not in sight, probably on the other side of the planet given how their orbits were different. Sometimes both could be seen above Vos.

I sat up, my wings low, processing everything that was going on in my life now. I unsubspaced my communicator, studying it for a klik before dialing the number and holding it to my audio receptor.

::Mmm, Star..? Vector Sigma… Do you realize what time it is?::

I bit my lip plate. "Hey, Gears… I just… Need to talk to you."

::What about? Are you alright?::

Coolant started to pool in my optics. "No… I-I should of called you yesterday. I don't know why I didn't."

::What's wrong? Did Thundercracker hurt you?::

"No… I…" I swallowed. "Gears… I-I killed my sire the other orbital cycle… I'm Alpha now. A-and I was attack by the Seekers earlier because th-they don't want me. Th-they hate me a-and want m-me dead." I began to softly sob.

::Holy bolts… Y-you serious?::

"I am."

::Wow… Um… Wow…::

"I need you. C-can you come to Vos? Y-you can stay in the palace. I-I can't do this alone."

::I'll call my work in the morning. I'll see what I can do to be there as soon as possible. This is just… I-I can't… By the Primes…::

"Just get over here. I-I can pay for expenses. I have more than enough Shanix now."

::No, I have the Shanix. I'll be there as soon as I can. I promise.::

"Thanks, Gears…" I was silent a moment. "I better return to my trine. I love you."

::Love you, too, Silly Seeker.::

I faintly smiled. "Love you bunches, mud eater."

He chuckled. ::I'll give you an update when I figure out how soon I will be there. Get some recharge. You sound exhausted.::

"I am. And overwhelmingly stressed."

::Go recharge. I'll talk to you tomorrow. All my love and hugs!::

"All my love and hugs back to you. Bye, Gears."

::Bye, Silly Seeker.::

I hung up, feeling alone once more. My wings perked as I overlooked the city. The city I now owned. All the people I was now in charge of. And most already hated me.

* * *

My trinemates helped me dress and prepare for the funeral. I was trembling uncontrollably, anxious and scared of what might happen. Asperitas upped security and made sure to never leave my side. Strange how the guard I hated when a sparkling would become someone I was terrified of leaving me because I needed him to protect me.

I was taken back to the plaza, seeing the crowd beginning to line up to view the Elite Trine's bodies. The caskets were on the stage beside each other, golden and lavished. The Seekers would be allowed up one side of the stage, see the Elite Trine in the center long enough to have final words and leave gifts, then walk off the other side.

"I want to see them." I quietly said to Thundercracker.

"You sure?"

"Please." I nodded.

Thundercracker held my servo as we walked onto the stage and approached the caskets, the first to do so. Guards lined the path to them, ensuring the bodies would be protected and no one could misbehave.

My wings dropped as we neared. I bit my lip plate, coolant beginning to fill my optics when we were before them.

Sire was in the middle, wearing his royal garb and crown, Turbine to his right and Flare to his left, just as they had been in life. Sire's wounds had been carefully repaired, but they still looked rough without his systems having self repair. Their optics offline, faces reset to look peaceful, as if they were simply recharging. Their servos were draped over each other on their cockpits. The inside of the caskets were lined with jewels and violet cloth, and between the casket walls and the bodies were crystal flowers, filling much of the space. Sire's flowers were blue and orange, like his paintjob and optics. Turbine's flowers were green and red, to match his paintjob and optics, and Flare had red and yellow flowers for the same purpose.

And gently places in their servos were pictures of their creations, creators, friends, family, and fond memories. There were so many pictures they were also placed over and around the bodies. Sire had the most because of all his creations and breeding mates. But, the most powerful image was one they each shared: A picture of them together as a young trine, before sire became Alpha. And the picture was placed in the middle of each of their resting servos.

I let myself go, sobbing before bawling out my optics, it hurting so much more knowing that this was because of me. Because I had been so stupid as to dare challenge sire. I fell to my knees, my arms folded over on the edge of sire's casket, my face buried in them. Thundercracker and Skywarp kept their servos on my shoulders, reminding me that they were there. Skywarp had coolant leaking from his optics, not because he cared about the former Elite Trine, but sparkbroken that I was so hurt.

I cried and screamed into my arms, blabbering how sorry I was to them, that I didn't want this to happen, and that I still loved them. And I meant all of that. It wasn't just emotions, I truly did not want that to happen. And I still do love them.

I don't know how long I cried before I calmed down enough to stand. I wiped my optics, swallowing before I unsubspaced three letters, one for each of them. Just… Letters I wrote saying how much I loved them, how they influenced my life, how sorry I was, and… Personal notes I want to keep between me and them. I placed the letters by their servos, as well as a picture of me as a sparkling with each of them. Sire got the picture of sparkling me with him and carrier.

"Fly free and true, Skycutter, Turbine, Flare… Join the warriors who fell before you. Be safe and happy in the new skies…" My sobs renewed as I tried to fight them back. "Have no more fear for your enemies have been vanquished there. And forever fly as one, as a trine. You fulfilled your vows till the bitter end."

It was so hard to walk away, but I had to for it was time to let the other mourners come by. My trinemates led me away, and Asperitas had me taken to a location behind the stage and away from the public optic. I hugged my trinemates as I cried, needing to get it all out of my system. Thundercracker got me to drink a glass of engex to calm down, and it did help some. Skyfire eventually was brought back and I focused on talking to him and my trinemates about anything and everything, needing to take a break from this depressive situation. I could hear wailing occasionally from the stage, not sure if they were my siblings, or non-family. The funeral was being broadcasted live for the rest of Vos to see, so the guards were also ensuring that no camera drones or reporters came to where I was.

"This is really hard." Carrier gently said as she approached, using a cloth to dab at her optics. "I honestly thought I would be overjoyed at his demise, but… Guess there's some things I loved about that brute." She sat beside me, stroking my helm, faintly smiling. "He did give me you and my other beautiful creations."

I couldn't help but sheepishly grin, not looking at her. "That all?"

"No. He did some other things." She vented a sigh. "Tomorrow I will get in contact with my old trine."

"Why you waiting so long?"

"Because you need me more right now than they do. I need to make sure you're alright before I go off somewhere. And getting this funeral out of the way is a big step towards you reaching that point. Once they are laid to rest, you can forget about worrying over them, and move on. The memorial is already in capable servos. You don't have to oversee that."

"I think getting everyone to like and obey me is the biggest step." I grunted.

"Removing Skycutter to his final burial site is huge because it will get him removed from the public optic, and then everyone will focus on just you. And thinking a little less about Skycutter will help them, hopefully, better realize why you'll be great as Alpha."

"Hmph! The dead are never silent when there's videos and writings of what they've said. He will never be forgotten."

"Of course not. None of the Alphas ever all. All their pictures are hanging in the throne room and their statues are in the courtyard. But, they're part of history now. You are here, now, and you're going to be great."

"When was the last time a prince became a king in Seeker society?"

"It has happened before, believe it or not. During the Cybertronian Civil War a prince killed his sire to become Alpha. Of course, it was all intentional and he had been planning it for some time. He would be killed by a femme two vorns later."

"Why add the detail about the femme?"

"Because you might be killed by one."

"Carrier, please." Skywarp gave a dismissive wave. "Scree _is_ a femme!"

I rolled my optics.

"How you feeling, carrier?" Thundercracker asked as his wings perked, sitting by Skyfire.

"A little queasy. The little one makes me a bit off." She rested a servo over her abdominal plates. "Not as bad as this sparkling of mine did to me." She leaned against me. "It gets easier the more you have."

"It does." I slowly nodded. "Starlight wasn't an issue at all. Not that any of my carryings were too bad in comparison to a normal carrying."

"I got super sick with my twins." Skywarp put in. "But that whole carrying was just bad…"

"Yeah, it was awful…"

"Are you guys planning on having anymore now since you're Alpha?" Carrier inquired.

I glanced at both my trinemates before speaking. "I'm not in a hurry. Maybe some vorns from now, but I think I would like to just enjoy being a grandcarrier for a time."

"Yeah, I think a long break is best for us." Thundercracker added. "Everything has been stressful and all over the place… We need time to focus on ourselves and the trine before we bring anyone else in."

"I want more sparkles!" Skywarp proclaimed, kicking his legs. "I want to have twins that actually both make it. Ooh! Triplets!" His wings fluttered madly as he excitedly kicked his peds in the air.

"You want them right away or..?" I perked my wings.

"I'm fine with waiting a little more. But I do want to try again to have more. But, until then, lets get more puppies!" He giggled, smiling broadly as his wings keep fluttering.

"I will buy the whole damn shelter for you. I technically own it anyway…"

"PUPPIES!"

"I think we will need to discuss pets before bringing the entire pound home." Thundercracker grunted with such a killjoy attitude.

"I want kitties." Skywarp crossed his arms.

I faintly grinned, needing their silliness to lighten the heavy weight pressing down on me. I was growing more and more anxious as it neared for me to go out there and announce the beginning of the eulogies. It wasn't easy choosing who would speak and who wouldn't. Sire had sired a lot of sparklings, and most wanted to speak. Even some of his breeding mates. I had to have some volunteer to not speak, and the rest cut their eulogies to be short. But, I gave them the option that they could read longer eulogies on video, and those who didn't get to read could do the same. And the recorded eulogies would be able to be played online, watched on TV, and put in the data files of the catacombs as well as the palace records. No one's final words would be unheard.

"Sir, it's time." Asperitas apprised me curtly.

I slowly nodded before standing, my trinemates holding my servos. I was walked out from behind the stage, and ascended the steps. I stood in front of the caskets, my back to them as I faced the crowd. They were lighting the candles they had been handed each when walking off the stage after viewing.

My trinemates stood in formation behind me, Asperitas nearby, more intimidating than even Thundercracker. I cleared my vocalizer before speaking, the camera drones buzzing nearby.

"My Seekers… We gather here this orbital cycle to mourn and remember the three great Seekers who once led us and all of Vos into the prosperous era we now live in. Speaking words of their remembrance will be several of their creations, Skycutter's breeding mates, siblings, creators, and grandcreators. Unfortunately, not all family and friends will be able to speak, for that number is far too great. The remaining eulogies will be viewable online or on the news whenever they will be available. I shall let them begin."

I turned and walked off the stage before one of sire's brothers reached me. I returned back behind the stage, knowing if I listened I would become a bawling mess all over again. I would just hear them on another date when I didn't need to keep my composure. I should be able to cry and wail, but the traditional trineleaders had me scared. I needed to show them how strong I was to avoid challengers.

I sat on Skyfire's lap, needing his comfort. not caring what anyone thought of us. Skyfire hugged me, being careful of my pointy crown. I wanted him to kiss me and tell me he loved me, but, alas, secrets.

It took about 3 joors before the speakers were finished and it was my time. I intook deeply before exhaling slowly. My trinemates and I returned to the stage, and I took my position before the podium, onlining my datapad.

"My Seekers…" I paused, needing a moment. "This is not an easy time for any of us. Especially not for me who's servos were the ones that dealt the finishing blow. That caused two loyal, obedient trinemates to follow their trineleader into the unknown skies of the afterlife.

"My sire, Seeker Skycutter, was an Alpha who achieved many great things. He sired the most Seekerlets of any Alpha before him, and was Alpha longer than all his predecessors. For thirteen and a half vorns he led us, protected us, and helped Vos become the city she now is. He expanded trade with other city-states, as well as grew the space port to increase imports and exports, growing Vos' economy and giving jobs to thousands. He established better communication and independency from the Senate in regards of Vos' economy, education system, and healthcare, as well as crack down on Functionists establishing power in Vos.

"He expanded Vos' infrastructure, had affordable housing given to thousands with the construction of several new towers, and helped grounders have better streets to drive on. He gave loans to growing Seeker businesses, giving us more independency from having to only work for and receive services from non-Seekers.

"Skycutter's third trinemate, Flare, helped start a private school for fliers, and focused on ensuring no sparklings would be hungry in Vos. Giving out free energon to starving sparklings, and having fundraisers. He also ensured every sparkling had datapads, cleaning supplies, and toys, no matter their built or status. Flare also spread his compassion to animals, building more shelters, donating to rescues, and teaching his creations as well as all of Skycutter's to love, care for, and be respectable to any animal. And he encouraged us all to have our own pets to care for and love. I made sure to pass on what he taught me to my own creations.

"Turbine focused his influence on cleaner energy, recycling, and keeping the city clean. He helped ensure that waste was no longer dumped into rivers or reservoirs, but rather recycled and used to power ships, energy grids, factories, and energon production plants. He pushed for better city waste management by recycling all trash to be reused, and better compensation for those who worked in these fields. He pushed for the use of solar panels, saving Vos millions in Shanix, and giving the space port more energy to power even larger ships.

"Turbine also saw to the construction and use of more space vessel factories, allowing Vos to now build our own cargo ships, military fleet, and freighters. Giving Vos even more independency and creating millions of more jobs."

I paused. "While they completed many wonderful tasks for helping Vos and her people, they also were incredible to their family. Skycutter, my sire, loved each and everyone of his creations and breeding mates. While there are some actions he took that I may not agree with, I cannot deny that he ensured all his creations received a proper education, an active social life, all the energon, toys, entertainment, pets, and adventures growing Seekerlets require, and all the attention and love he could give each of us despite how busy he was, and how many of us there were.

"He ensured his breeding mates were well taken care of, no one could harm or touch them, and they were not bred too often or too much. And he always ensured his creations and breeding mates received the best medical attention for everything, even if we were simply suffering from an upset fuel tank.

"Flare was an amazing carrier to his creations. I will tell you that I have the best carrier in the world, but compared to Flare, there is competition. Flare doted and loved his creations with such passion and so much love. Sometimes, it seemed he would explode from all the love and joy he contained for his creations, grandcreations, and step-creations. He always made sure to pamper all of us with pets and treats, and helped the other carriers when they were not well enough to care for their own creations.

"Turbine was strict, but his love for his own creations is not up for debate. He was so protective of them, we often joked that he was a krystar iron-bear defending his cubs. He was protective, but so gentle and kind to all of us.

"The Elite Trine were a model trine. Their love for each other was so powerful, and I grew up hoping I would have a trine that was that in love with each other. Sire may have had many breeding mates and creations he had to care for, but he always made sure his trinemates were never tossed aside or left unsatisfied. Flare may have been shy around strangers, but with his trinemates he couldn't stop smiling and was so bubbly. Loving life with all his spark. And Turbine, usually reserved and sometimes moody, was a completely different person when with his trine. And sire… He was just so playful, laid back, and gentle. He was intimidating to most, but when with his trinemates or creations, he was a gentle giant. One would believe he was incapable of ever being angry when with his trine or creations."

I paused again. "Sire was raised by only his carrier and sire, Overshoot and Banshee, respectively. He grew up in a dirty apartment, had no Shanix, and often would go orbital cycles without energon. No one expected someone from such poverty to ever become an Alpha, but he proved them all wrong.

"Flare grew up as an only sparkling, his siblings having moved out stellar cycles ago. His creators had decided not to have anymore creations, but Flare surprised them. Due to not having siblings to play and interact with, he grew up with many pets, and hence his love and passion for them was born. He was homeschooled when he suffered panic attacks at school, and became very attached to his carrier. He was best friends with his creators till his last orbital cycle.

"Turbine was a twin, but his twin sister died from a virus when they were only 3 decacycles old. Turbine always said he felt like part of him was missing, and believed he may not of had a fully split spark with his twin, so part of him died when she did. Despite this, Turbine was outgoing at his school, competed in sports, and, surprisingly, loved to swim, even if he was bad at it.

"Skycutter met Flare when he was 19 stellar cycles and Flare was 17 stellar cycles old. They met at a mutual friend's emergence cycle party, and immediately felt a connection. Sire waited for Flare to become of age before immediately courting and trining him. "There was no hesitation between them. Flare accepted the first gift, and they were trined by that evening.

"Turbine met them at the War Academy, and it only took three decacycles of courting before Skycutter and Flare knew Turbine was the one.

"They lived a typical life, Skycutter worked at the space port to provide for his trinemates, and after being a full trine for five stellar cycles they began to create their family. Tarmac and Skymaster were their first creations, and their love soon was given to twelve Seekerlets, three cyberdogs, four cybercats, and a lillith.

"It would be almost five vorns later before sire challenge and killed the current Alpha, Airstrike, and became the new Alpha. A position he proved to be worthy of having for no challenger could even come close to defeating him, and his ability to greatly help Vos and her people."

I exhaled slowly. "Skycutter, Turbine, and Flare will never be forgotten. They will forever be in the history texts, as well as our sparks. They will be deeply missed, and still loved by us all despite no longer being with us.

"Skycutter is outlived by his 924 creations, and 22 creations still inside of their carriers. He is outlived by his 21,252 grandcreations, 488,797 great-grandcreations, and even more great-great-grandcreations. He is outlived by his 38 breeding mates, 18 brothers and sisters, great-grandcreators, and his many nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles.

"Turbine is outlined by his 16 creations, 243 grandcreations, and 2,880 great-grandcreations, as well as his 13 siblings, and many nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles.

"Flare is outlived by his 18 creations, 257 grandcreations, 3,276 great-grandcreations, as well as his 10 siblings, and his many nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles.

"Gone from our lives, but not from our sparks, they will forever be with us. Fly free in new skies, united as a trine for the rest of eternity. They now live with those warriors who fell before them. And when our time comes, we shall meet them again, and never be separated."

I paused, coolant filling my optics. "I miss and love you, sire, uncle Flare, and uncle Turbine. I-I'm sorry this happened. If I could go back in time and change it all I would without a moment's hesitation. I pray that you can forgive me and understand that I never wanted to hurt any of you, much less kill. And when my time comes, I look forward to being… Being hugged by my sire and uncles once more." I wiped at my optics. "I love you. Thank you for all you've done for me, my siblings, and Vos. I will do my best to make you three proud and take care of Vos and her people. This I promise you. Rest peacefully, and help guide me through my future as Alpha. I love you."

I swallowed, the coolant pouring from my optics now. I cycled my air hard to keep from breaking down into loud sobs, needing to finish. "W-we now lay to rest Skycutter, Turbine, and Flare, the Elite Trine, in the catacombs. But, before doing so, I have asked a prayer to be said for them." I stepped aside to let Sunstorm approach. I had asked him to do this because he seemed the best candidate with his strong faith and knowledge of the Book of Primus, and all that Guiding Hand slag.

"Let us bow our helms in prayer." He calmly said, his vocalizer so soothing and gentle. He offlined his optics, his servos loosely holding the podium before him. "Dear Primus, we reach up to you to give us strength during this difficult time of losing three invaluable sparks. Sparks blessed by you, and guided through life to become the mechs they were, and touch each and every spark they encountered. We ask that you help us through this loss, to find joy in the memories they left us, to find hope and joy in knowing we got the chance to live and know such wonderful Seekers, and to aid the families with any financial or emotional difficulties their deaths may cause them.

"We ask that you give Skycutter, Turbine, and Flare a wonderful time now since they are with you, and to let them watch over their family and friends still here on Cybertron. And let them know how much they are missed, how loved they still are, and that they will never be forgotten.

"And we pray that you and the rest of the Guiding Hand aid our new Alpha. That Solomus blesses Starscream with the wisdom he needs to help Vos prosper and remain independent, and that Epistemus grants Starscream all the knowledge necessary to make the right decisions for Vos, her people, and any challenges that arise during his reign.

"We thank you for the lives of Skycutter, Turbine, and Flare, and all their creations. And we thank you for a new Alpha who will lead us into a new age of peace and prosperity. We thank you for all you do for us, in this life and the next.

"In the designations of our lords, Primus, Mortilus, Solomus, Epistemus, and Adaptus, we pray. Amen."

A chorus of "amens" was softly repeated by most of the crowd. Sunstorm hopped off the stage and returned to his trine, and I returned to the podium.

"Pallbearers, please come forth to begin the final journey of the Elite Trine."

Several of the Elite Trine's creations came forth. The caskets were closed and locked for the last time, sealing away the Elite Trine with all that was to be buried with them. The caskets were hoisted by the pallbearers and carried away, Skycutter's being taken first, followed by Turbine's and then Flares.

I followed with my trine, as well as my abundant family, and some of the crowd not related. We traversed into the catacombs, down the passage ways, past the graves of hundreds of Seekers until we were under the mountains now, no longer under Vos. Here, the catacombs branched off into hundreds of more directions, and those each branched into more hundreds. Thousands of Seekers, young and old, Seekerlets, entire families, were all here. We refused to bury our dead anywhere but these ancient tunnels and cave systems. In some parts were buried the ancient Seekers, but I had never been to those areas.

We reached the chamber designated for the Elite Trine, their graves already dug in the rock. In was a large chamber, which I chose so they could have a massive memorial over them. It was going to be statues of them as a happy trine, with plates reading their designations, emergence cycle and death dates, and a synopsis of their lives. And that the base would also have pictures of them and the eulogies from everyone who wrote one. I also hoped to have the designations of all their creations signed on it, as our final act of love towards our creators.

Sire was lowered into his grave first, then Turbine, and finally Flare. We each tossed a crystal flower onto the caskets, filling them much of the way before they were sealed over with stone, a layer of cement, and finally a metal slab cemented over, to ensure no grave robbers or desecrators could ever get to them. Something we had to do to our dead with how many hated Seekers. The entry way to the catacombs was always guarded and locked away when there were no visitors or a funeral, but, we didn't want to risk it.

Final goodbyes were said before the crowd made their way back out of the catacombs. I was the last to leave, having such a hard time with all of this since it was my fault. My trinemates finally managed to drag me away, and we returned to the palace.

I found myself in my quarters later that night, sitting on Skyfire's lap as he sat on the couch. My trinemates were seated on either side of him, leaning against Skyfire's sides as we snuggled. I had cried for some time upon returning home, and after everything, all my stress, the constant crying, I was exhausted. I just needed my trinemates, my secret lover, and a movie to distract me from my life.

I was nervous about having to go to recharge because I knew that once I onlined it meant I was going to be fully focused on my duties as Alpha, and everyone would be watching me, no longer thinking about the former Elite Trine.

And I was royally screwed.

* * *

 **So, I lied. I will need to write more chapters. Ah well, I think you guys like this anyway. XD There's more I want to put in as Starscream establishes himself as Alpha. Originally I was going to briefly go over, but this is a major change in his life and it needs more explained. Like, this scrawny, scared, little Seeker manages to remain Alpha of a brutish, warrior culture for millions of years, longer than ANY Alpha before him. And there's a reason why he is able to stay Alpha before and during the war.**

 **Skycutter has a LOT of babies. He's been Alpha for over 1,120 years with 40 bitches to breed with. He's going to have a LOT of babies and lots of grandbabies and more great-grandbabies. He didn't start to breed in large sums early in his regime, only a couple of breeding mates and his trinemates. It was later he really began to grab more breeding mates and just start to go crazy. If he had been crazy over babies since the beginning he would have more than triple the amount of babies... But, he focused on Vos and her people before siring a shit ton of babies. He was trying to fix the city before settling down to reap the rewards of being leader.**

 **Now, you're probably wondering how there could be so many babies and grandbabies of Skycutter and still be a DNA variety amongst Seekers and Seekers not all related or mated to one of his creations. Well, the answer to that is simple: There's a LOT of Seekers.**

 **New York City has about, 8,600,000 humans living in it. Because us humans are overpopulated and destroying the planet because of it... Vos is a massive city, and the population of it probably is the same or higher than that of NYC. So, if you do the math (which I did because I want my stories accurate and plausible), if you add up ALL Skycutter's creations, grandcreations,a nd great-grandcreations, that is still only about 5% of Vos' population. And if 70% of Vos is Seekers, then only about 15-20% of the Seeker population is related to Skycutter. But, I imagine Vos has a higher population than NYC, so that would make the percentage of Skycutter's babies even smaller in comparison to the entire Seeker population.**

 **The reason they breed so much is to not only show they are powerful enough to raise and make healthy babies, but also to pass along their coding, their CNA. And given how many babies Skycutter has created, it will only be a few generations before the majority of new Seekers are somehow related to him. Meaning, the future of Seekers is having his coding. So, he kinda lives on physically forever since his coding will always be present in the future generations.**

 **Now, stop and think about this: If Skycutter's creations, grandcreations, and great-grandcreations, which is in the thousands, only make up about 5% of Seekers... There's probably about 8,600,000 Seekers or more at this time in the fic. And by the end of the war there are only probably about 300 Seekers left.**

 **Think about that. And that's JUST the Seeker population. That's not Cybertron as a whole. Starscream went from ruling a massive, flourishing, well doing sub-species, culture, and population, to a handful during his reign. He literally will watch everyone he knows, everyone he's in charge of, die all around him, in his arms, seeing their bodies piling up.**

 **He is the king who loses all his people trying to save them. So, if anyone thinks Starscream is "weak" or a "coward," think about the hell he suffers through trying to keep his people alive in the worst war to ever be fought in any culture, planet, or history.**

 **And Starscream is in shock. Remember, this is a VERY young Starscream. He has NEVER killed before, he has never been in war, he has never needed to fight for his life before. He is NOT the war hardened Seeker in the comics, YET. He is a BABY. He is naive, he's scared, he's never had to do anything difficult minus domestic violence. He has never experienced war or fighting to survive from someone who want his literally brutally, savagely killed. All of this is sudden and shocking. Yes, he's part of a warrior culture that train for battle since birth, yes, he went to a military school and knows he may be drafted, yes, he is prepared for war, but that doesn't mean he has no emotions.**

 **He's still trying to heal from what Thundercracker did to him for years. He is no where near mentally table nor prepared for leading a city, or taking someone's life.**

 **The Elite Trine wasn't entirely "evil." Skycutter did love his babies and helped Vos in many ways, and Flare was a sweetspark who loved babies and animals, and Turbine was very loving to his babies. They were good people, just clouded by a selfish culture that ensnared them. Same with how many carnists are not bad people, but they are still blinded to believe they "have" to eat animals, exploit animals, etc. Once they learn the truth, they will change. But, many are scared of change or of being wrong.**

 **And Flare was the most likely to become non-traditional. He's the most open and loving of his trine.**

 **The fuss over the funeral, why the dead Seekers are only buried in the catacombs, etc. is because they're a warrior culture. Warrior cultures are HUGE on their dead because death is such a major part of their lives. It's an honor to die in combat, it's an honor to die with your trinemates, and if you're a warrior, death is VERY real. So, because of this, death is something they take seriously with their dead, taking care of the bodies, and burying them in basically a sacred place. And for them, under the mountains where their subspecies originated from is sacred. They came from this place and they return to it when they die.**

 **Thundercracker they will never leave Starscream no matter if the world ends. Him and Skywarp kept that promise when the world DOES end. Cybertron falls, everyone they know dies, and Vos is abandoned. FORESHADOWING!**

 **Note how Starscream is getting to know his Seekers by asking Nacelle and Elevon to remove their helmets so he could see them. He's more down the earth and humbling than previous Alphas were. And this makes him special.**

 **All the typical vitriol and threats that activists like me receive when we speak the truth... When laws are made for the better, the abusers always want to fight it.**

 **Starscream biting his digit tips when anxious is canon.**

 **Oh, and some rude asshole attacked me on chapter 9 of Illicitus claiming I shared "insane rants" and that "the best writer is a silent one."**

 **Seriously, dumbass? Literally the entire story is a writing speaking to you. And if you hated the story so much why did you read up till chapter 9 to say something? And go ahead and share my "insane rants" with your alleged "friends." Just spreads the truth to more people! :D**

 **I deleted his comments, but have them screenshot incase he continues. But, seriously, why would you read so much of a story if you don't like the author or what it's about? He claimed my writing was "subpar." If it's so bad to you, why did you read about 300 pages worth of it, dumbass?!**

 **My puppy now weighs 30lbs, has lost 13 baby teeth, is learning quickly in her training, and is getting spayed next month! As for me? I am still suicidal, still having trouble finding a job, and I still hate the universe.**

 **I still need to finish these drawings of Seekers in their royal guard and breeding mate outfits, as well as the palace and throne rooms... Have them sketched out, just need to add some more details and ink... Blech.. Depression sucks.**

 **I am now looking at another 2 chapters to write for this fic. So... Yeah. It's at 902 pages long right now.**


	30. A Challenger

**Chapter 30**

"If dey don't listen ta ya jus' _beat_ the slag oughtta them! These youngin's need ta learn ta _respect_ you!"

"I will not be beating anyone. Your advice has been duly noted, wise one." I calmly replied, sitting at the head of the table in the meeting room, wearing my crown and royal garb. My trinemates were standing on either side of me at attention, Thundercracker to my right and Skywarp to my left. Everyone seated at the table were Asperitas, Noctilucent, Fireflight, Silverstorm, Astral, Hurricane, and Rainfall. These were my advisors, my generals, and my experts on the economy and politics.

Noctilucent grumbled under his breath about me being "young and foolish." I chose to ignore the old Seeker. Perhaps due to having an older model of body it effected his respect for his Alpha, so would not be right to scold him.

"You need to be careful, my liege." Asperitas spoke now, sitting to my right. "We understand you are trying to lead without violence, but many of these trineleaders will think of you as 'weak' if you do not fight them."

"Ah've been around for 12,063 vorns and ah've never heard of dis 'no beating' way of leading. Real Alphas keep deir submissives inline with a good ol' fashion discipline! I used ta use a-" Noctilucent railed.

"Noctilucent, please!" I interjected, my servo raised to silence him. "Hold your glossa if you do not have something of consequence to add to the deliberation. I am running a city here, not a bootcamp." I glowered at the old Seeker, my wings flared, ensuring he understood I was not going to be pushed around.

He snorted a vexed grunt, his larger wings lowering. "As you command, my Alpha."

"Regardless of what the other Seekers think, with Skycutter dead the Senate is going to try and make their move to gain control of the city." Rainfall put in, her dainty servos intertwined before her as her elbows rested on the tabletop.

"There's going to be panic in the streets with that threat looming over us." Hurricane spoke. "The stock market could crash if people start pulling out for fear of businesses being shut down by the Senate."

"Or businesses heavily taxed because fliers operate and own them." Astral added.

"We also depend on the immigration of non-Seekers into Vos to help with our hospitals, engineering, and other jobs Seekers are not yet ready to take over. Depending on how you will be received by the public could keep the much needed doctors, engineers, scientists, and everyone else we need out." Silverstorm said, holding her energon cube on the table with both servos.

"She's right." Asperitas grunted. "If there are riots that will scare immigrants away as well as our own citizens. We need to keep the peace and make Vos welcoming to all."

"That's why I'm not beating anyone." I repeated. "I am not going to continue this culture of violence, abuse, exploitation, and death when we, as a people, are better than that. We can have functional trines, large families, a working society, and productive city without needing to beat, yell at, rape, or kill anyone. Vos will become better for all once we stop the hatred and violence and actually treat each other with compassion and understanding."

"No disrespect, sir, but I doubt the traditionals will change their ways no matter how many laws you create." Fireflight said.

"We shall see."

"Sir, I think we should focus on settling the city and ensuring they don't riot before pushing your beliefs on anyone." Asperitas suggested.

"Pushing my-?" I rubbed my faceplates, frustrated with the ignorance. I flicked my wings, not looking at them. "Meeting adjourned. I need time to mull things over. Your advice has been noted and will be assessed. Leave me."

"As you command, my liege." Asperitas inclined his helm as he stood.

There was a chorus of "sir" as the others all stood and gave low bows to me. I waited until I heard the door close before lowering my arms and venting a sigh. My wings drooped, resting my chin on my servo as my other servo tapped the digits rhythmically against the tabletop. Finally, I raised my right servo and gave a quick flick of my wrist, signaling to my trinemates that they no longer needed to be statues.

"You alright?" Thundercracker inquired without preamble, turning to me.

"Just… tired and stressed." I didn't look at him, still tapping the table.

"Scree needs huggles!" Skywarp hugged me, his wings fluttering. "Mmmmm! I give the best huggles!" He giggled before licking my cheekplates.

"You do…" I exhaled tiredly. "That sucked. I don't want to do anymore of those."

"Try having to remain silent through it." Thundercracker grunted. "I wanted to break formation a thousand times and punch some of those morons."

I faintly smiled. "I would love you to, but… I didn't train you to break formation without my command, did I?" I looked up at him.

"No, sir." He kissed me on the lip plates. "If you were the submissive you would break formation to scream profanities."

"Hell, yeah!" I said it like it was obvious. "I was a terrible submissive and I don't follow orders."

"Oh, I know." He kissed me again. "You are definitely a better trineleader than I ever was, and I definitely am a better submissive than you ever were."

"Ain't that the truth." I smiled, fluttering my wings.

"Seeing you smile is making me horny. Would a frag help you?"

I rolled my optics. "You are seriously the worst."

"I am." He wrapped his arms around me. "I get so hard when I see you, and harder when I hear you, and even harder when I touch you, and harder when-"

"Ugh! You're disgusting!" I shoved at him.

"I'm hard, too!" Skywarp giggled, hugging me now.

"You two are nothing but whores. All you do is-Seriously? Are you serious?" I exclaimed in exasperation when those two morons already were removing their codpieces and their spikes were starting to become erect. "You both are gross."

"So are you. You swallow."

I rolled my optics. "Fine, we can bond."

"Yay!" Skywarp pumped his fists. "And aft beating!"

I glared at him before flicking my wings. "Fine… But not a hard one. Just… Light denting."

"Be right back!" Skywarp vanished in a flash of purple.

Thundercracker grasped my arm and forced me to stand. He pushed away my chair, then shoved me over the desk. Skywarp materialized back where he had been, this time holding two evil paddles.

"Here ya go." He handed Thundercracker one.

Thunder took it, then lifted up my cape and draping it over my back, exposing my rear.

"How many you think he should get?"

"Hmm…" Skywarp thought for a moment, tapping a digit to his chin. "Fifty from each?"

"Ugh…" I groaned.

"If you keep complaining it will be more." Thundercracker snapped.

"Yes, sir…" I grumbled.

"Fifty each works for me." Thundercracker nodded.

Skywarp manically giggled. "To our new king!" He smacked his paddle against my aft hard.

"Ack!" I yelped.

"To our new king." Thundercracker smirked before striking my rear even harder with his paddle.

"Ah!" I gasped, grasping at the edge of the table before me. It was in a circular shape with the middle open. I suspect the opening in the middle was so we could see if anyone was kicking each other's peds. I still am not sure why anyone would make a table without a center…

"You love us." Thundercracker smiled, him and Skywarp rhythmically striking my rear end. Back and forth between them.

"Ow! I greatly doubt that-Ah! Mnnnrgh!" I lowered my wings, burying my faceplates in my arms.

"Make sure to get his thighs, TC." Skywarp giggled, making sure to hit as hard as possible.

"N-no…" I helplessly groaned, gasping and whimpering from the blows.

"Never thought I would get to paddle the Alpha." Thundercracker commented.

"This is why he's the best Alpha." Skywarp snickered.

The two morons kept abusing me until they finally each gave me fifty hard strikes. I wasn't allowed to even rub over my suffering after before Thundercracker grasped my nape and pinned me to the table.

"What do we say?" He demanded sternly.

"Thank you, sirs. I deserved all of that and more. Take me as you so desire." I said it with a growl, my wings hiking.

I whimpered when Thundercracker slapped my aft with his servo. I lifted my rear end up and removed my codpiece, making it easier for the horny fataft I mated to. I moaned when he penetrated me, feeling his servos hold onto my hips before he begun to thrust into me mercilessly.

Skywarp teleported to the center of the round table, standing before me. I didn't get a chance to say anything before he shoved his spike into my mouth and began to hump my face.

Such a king I turned out as… Getting spike from both ends… at least Thundercracker stuck it in the proper hole…

Skywarp giggled, that stupid lopsided grin of his etched on his lustful faceplates. "This is how to properly treat a king." He kept giggling, fluttering his wings.

Thundercracker smiled. "It's my favorite way." He leaned over and bit me harshly on the nape.

I prayed no one would walk in and see this. I doubt it would have been good for me if anyone had.

* * *

With my idiot trinemates finally satisfied, and my aft and throat now sore, I found myself being carried bridal style by my blue interface partner. They helped clean me up to hide our bonding, for I had to be professional with what I had to do next.

Thundercracker stopped before the doors to the throne room, two guards standing there as always. He looked down at me, his wings perking.

"Ready for this?"

I bit my lip plate, not sure if I really was. He set me down, and I faced the door, nervous about this next step of my life. I scrunched my faceplates and offlined my optics when my trinemates simultaneously kissed me on either cheekplate.

"You got this, love." Thundercracker nuzzled his olfactory sensor against my face.

"Yeah, Scree. We're with ya all the way." Skywarp nuzzled the other side.

I exhaled heavily. "Alright… Let's do this." I focused my feelings, looking down a moment as I gathered myself. I held up my servo, ordering my trinemates into formation, and they immediately did as commanded.

I gestured to the guards to open the doors, and they obeyed. The massive doors slide open, and before me was the long walk to the throne. My throne.

I stepped forward, focusing on that throne as I made my way towards it, passing guards standing at attention on either side of me along the way. I stopped before the dais, my wings drooping, remembering when I was a sparkling how I would climb these steps to be in my sire's lap as he sat there. How he let me wear his crown, and all the fond memories of my sire being a good, kind, and caring person to his creations. I remembered how my siblings and I would play on this throne when sire wasn't around, pretending to be him, or just pretending to be the king. We even made our own crowns to wear.

There were a few bad memories in this room, on this throne, but there were far more good memories that I will always cherish.

I took my first step onto the dais, needing a moment before ascending the rest of the steps. I studied the throne only briefly before turning around, then sitting upon it, my trinemates taking their positions on either side of me. I rested my elbows on the arms of the throne, leaning back into the large seat. My optics offlined, feeling this soft, large, decorative furniture against my frame, it feeling familiar, and yet so entirely different.

"Well?" Thundercracker asked quietly, knowing he shouldn't be speaking.

I onlined my optics finally to look at him. "It feels… Conflicting."

"Conflicting?"

"Like… Amazing… Powerful… Luxurious… As well as stressful, depressing, and like I'm about to have someone yelling at me to get off it."

"Is that good?"

"I'm still trying to decide." I straightened myself on it. "Think anyone will come in?"

"Not sure. Maybe not many since everyone is still transitioning. Might get more trineleaders coming to glitch than submissives requiring aid."

"Hmm." I flicked my wings. "If anyone tries to start something I'll have them thrown out."

"As is your right."

My elbows rested on the arms of the throne as my digit tips pressed together to form a steeple. I eyed the long hall before me, that closed door at the end, anticipating who might my visitors, if any, may be.

Open court joor began, and no one came. Not for a while at least. It wasn't until near the eleventh joor that my first guests arrived. And they were not who I had expected.

"Damn, this place is nice." Bitstream said in amused awe as he sauntered towards the throne.

"It's very pretty." Sunstorm joyfully skipped beside his trinemate, holding his servo as he swayed their connected arms to and fro. "Bitsy! You should get me a palace!" He giggled, wings fluttering.

"Hell, yeah." Bitstream winked at his mate before planting a loving kiss to his cheekplates. "I'll get you anything in he world, darlin'."

"Teehee!"

I smirked when they finally reached the dais and bowed to me. "Wasn't expecting to see you two."

"I wasn't expecting a scrawny thing like you to become Alpha. And yet, here you are." Bitstream replied playfully, his servos resting on his hips.

"You may come closer." I gestured them over.

The two trinemates scaled the dais and stood on the second to last step before me. Sunstorm was beaming, his wings fluttering and optics bright yellow.

"So, how has it been going thus far, shortstuff?" Bitstream perked his wings.

"I've been managing." I said it a bit tiredly. "It's hard with not just… Losing my sire and uncles, and then the stress of all this change, but being concerned about traditional trineleaders wanting to try and murder me."

"I imagine so." Bitstream perked his wings, glancing at either of my trinemates. "How are you two doing now since you've gotten to experience the royal treatment?"

A sparkling-ish smile carved itself over Skywarp's adorable faceplates. "It's awesome. I love it."

"It is nice." Thundercracker smirked, giving a small nod.

"How has Hotlink been handling the transition?" I inquired.

"Ha! Oh, Hottie…" Bitstream slowly shook his helm, a dry smile over his visage. "That aft is beyond pissed. I got an aft beating last night for suggesting you might be better than Skycutter. And when I told him he committed a crime by giving me more than forty lashes with a cable he dominated me. I wouldn't say he's taking any of this 'well.'"

I flicked my wings. "He'll be punished for breaking the law. All of them will."

"Go for it. He needs to be taught a lesson."

"Just don't hurt him." Sunstorm added quickly. "He's still our trineleader and we love him."

"I won't hurt anyone. I can assure you." I promised, lacing my digits together. "Have you heard anything of use?"

"Of use?" Bitstream raised an optical ridge.

"Like, the popular opinion?"

"Oh, all traditionals hate you and want you dead, and submissives and non-traditionals think you're rad."

"Better than everyone hating my guts. Anyone wanting to challenge me?"

"A slag ton. But, as for actually challenging you… I don't think as many. Not everyone was in the mindset of wanting to be Alpha with Skycutter being basically undefeatable and intimidating as frag. Now, the thought that they might have a chance is only now entering their dim processors. They might act out more out of anger than actual wanting of leadership."

"Which makes them more dangerous."

"Pfft, any morons who attack the Alpha out of anger rather than leadership are psycho." Bitstream tapped the side of his helm with a digit to emphasize. "I imagine you're more likely to have waste thrown at you than challenged by the cog helms."

"Regardless why they challenge me, the fact remains they still will. And I must be prepared. If they get the advantage… Well, I'm more concerned about my trinemates. I do not want them to suffer because of my enemies."

"Show no fear. If you keep acting like a little pussy from your carrier's gestation tank they are more likely to come after you. Grow some nanites and spike, be hard on them, and don't suck anyone's hard cock."

"Hard cock? So only suck the soft ones?" I raised an optical ridge.

"Hey, if you're into that sort of thing." He raised his servos peacefully. "I prefer being sucked than doing the sucking, but, your mouth, not mine."

I chuckled. "Fair enough. Well, seeing how you two are here for open court, is there anything you require from your Alpha?"

"Eh, I just need Hothelm to stop beating me over everything…" Bitstream grunted.

"I think we should give out the Book of Primus to everyone so they all can learn about our lord." Sunstorm smiled as he nodded.

"I'll see what I can do about both. I may not be religious, but I understand many are and would benefit from having their religious texts and places to worship." I said. "As for Hotlink, I'll have him dealt with."

"Anything to end the aft beatings and floggings would be mightily appreciated, boss." Bitstream replied.

"Boss?"

"Yeah, you're the boss now." Bitstream shrugged. "Or, do you prefer being called 'champ?'"

"No, no, boss is fine. Just… Not use to it." I said slowly.

"Well, guess you better start to. Because you're the boss until you die. However that may end up being."

Little did I realize it would be more than just Seekers calling me that in the approaching future.

* * *

Only a servoful of Seekers came in for the first open court. A couple were reporting abuse from their trineleaders, some were having financial difficulties and seeking aid, one asked for help with their trineleader trying to spark them despite them having a medical condition that made them too weak to carry a sparkling, and the last one needed help securing a job for his new trine. Not too hard of an orbital cycle for my first time.

I sent out the orders to arrest and lock away the trineleaders already breaking the law, and went on to my next task of the orbital cycle.

Family business.

"Ouch!" Nacreous yelped when he was harshly shoved into my office by two guards.

"Thank you. You may leave us." I gestured the guards away, sitting at my desk wearing my crown and royal garb.

Nacreous flicked his wings as the guards departed, the door hissing closed behind them. My eldest, full sibling turned to me, his wings hiking.

"So, you gonna beat me or something?" Nacreous gruffly inquired, crossing his arms as he shifted his weight to one leg, optics locked sharply onto me.

"Beat you?" I perked my wings, glancing down at the datapads I was arranging on my new desk. "Like a scrawny thing like me could ever, or want to, beat my big brother."

Nacreous snorted heavily through his olfactory sensor, his wings giving a slight flick. "Yeah, your eldest full siblings was just dragged from his home by two royal guards for some brotherly love? A family get together? Little picnic?" His wings flicked harder. "I'm guessing you're going to start weeding out the threats early?"

I pushed aside the datapads, looking up at him now. "You are a threat to me. You're big, strong, far fiercer than I, and to be honest, I'm terrified of you. I _shouldn't_ be. You're my own metal and CNA, but you have hurt me in the past and made Thundercracker hurt me." I rested my elbows on my desk, lacing my digits together. "You're immensely intimidating, and I have no doubt that if you wanted to be Alpha you would easily beat me into a pile of scrap, and happily beat my aft in front of all of Vos so I could die in my place as a submissive. But," I leaned back into my chair. "You don't want to be Alpha. You don't want to lead because you don't want this responsibility. You're content with what you have."

"Then why the hell did you drag me over here if you knew I don't want to be Alpha?" He asked cautiously, approaching the desk, keeping his wings flared. "And I would beat your aft in front of everyone. With much glee."

I raised an optical ridge, feeling a spike in my anxiety. He could easily beat me, and I knew he could give me a nasty beating. But, I forced myself to at least seem calm. He wasn't going to win this. This was a new game I would be playing. I was weak, scrawny, and not able to hold my own with these larger brutes when it came to physical strength. But when it came to intellect and wit, I was better. And I would be the superior in this game for vorns to come.

"I had you brought over because I need to talk to you, Nacreous. Please, sit down." I gestured to one of the vacant chairs in front of the desk.

He eyed me, grabbed a chair, brought it over, and sat across from me. "Talk about what? You aren't taking my trinemate for a breeding mate." He snapped.

"I would never dream of it. To be honest, I am quite content with the number of creations I have brought forth into the world and sired. And if I should desire more, which I admit I would love to one orbital cycle, I will only give myself to my trinemates." I paused. "If there's anyone I would breed with outside of my trine, I do have my optics on a mech, but… I am not ready for a breeding mate yet."

"Is he single?"

"You could say."

"Doubt you'll sire that many…"

"I doubt it, too. To be completely honest, I really much prefer being a carrier."

"Why? It makes you sick and vulnerable."

"It does, but… I feel like it also is more rewarding." I faintly smiled. "To know that your precious little creation was inside of you growing, that you gave them life inside of you, and grow that strong bond without even seeing them… And then nursing them just is such a beautiful bonding experience. I miss my little femmlings when they were still refueling from me." I slowly shook my helm as my smile grew. "It's the best experience ever, Nacreous. Especially when they are watching you, trying to smile, holding on to you as they nurse. I want to do it all over again a thousand times. But, I need to also remember my own limits. I am little, and carrying a sparkling is a little harder on us smaller Seekers. Especially when I birth such big femmlings. They take after their sire… Either that or I make them fat too easily."

"You do birth very large sparklings. Probably why you have such big hips."

I chuckled at that. "I am very thankful for these big hips. Oh, if only you knew the wonders of carrying, Nacreous."

"I'm quite happy being a sire."

"Oh, I'm sure you are. You have sired 53 creations, after all."

"Did you force me here to discuss creations and being creators?" He harshly demanded suddenly.

"No, but I wish we could have such pleasant palaver always." I sat straight up, elbows on my desk, as my servos clasped before me. "Maelstrom."

"Forget this." He grunted, standing up and turning to the door.

"I did not dismiss you, brother." I sternly snapped, my wings hiking.

He turned back around, his wings flicking. "I don't need to be dismissed, Screamer."

"Do not call me that, Nacky."

"Look who's throwing annoying nicknames around, now."

"Please, Nacreous, don't make this anymore difficult than it has to be. Sit down." I gestured at the chair he just abandoned.

"I don't need to hear you scoff and insult me about what happened to my mate. I'm hurt enough over it. What, want me to just say it? You were _right_ , and I was _wrong_." He pressed his digits into his chest to emphasize. "My beautiful, gorgeous mate is now _dead_. I am still in mourning over her, and now also over sire and my two uncles because of your stupidity, and I don't need you stomping over my already hurt spark."

"I would never try to hurt you, Nacreous. I'm not a traditional Seeker."

"Traditionalism isn't bad, Star."

"Then why did traditionalism kill Maelstrom?"

I suddenly found myself grasped by the neck and yanked over my desk. I was easily lifted up before slammed down hard onto the desk, my brother's barred denta in my faceplates, his burning exhales beating against my visage.

"Don't you _dare_ say I killed her purposefully." He growled, wings flared, his optics murderous, like sire's had been when he was intent on killing me.

I was petrified, not expecting this kind of hostility from him. I still remembered him as my protective big brother helping raise me when I was little. But, we had both changed since then. I steeled my expression, becoming hostile myself as my optics narrowed. My own denta barred before I hissed, my wings flicking. He hissed back, flicking his wings, not backing down in the slightest, his optics locked on mine. I thought for sure he would escalate the situation, but he soon released me and stepped back. I snapped at his retreating visage, my denta clicking. I held my snarl until he was fully off me. Once free, I had the urge to stand on the desk, take advantage of the higher ground and display to him my aggression, but if I was going to be Alpha, I would have to pretend that I wasn't intimidated. That I had no reason to be afraid or needing to be so aggressive. I had to stay calm. And being calm would, hopefully, keep the other Seekers calm.

So, instead I stayed standing in front of my desk, leaning my aft against its edge. My wings lowered to neutral, and I forced my lip plates closed. Nacreous kept his optics narrowed and wings flared, but otherwise no aggression.

"I wouldn't dream of saying you purposely killed her." I replied nonchalantly, hiding that I was screaming and panicking on the inside. "Your actions did lead to her death, there is no doubt. She was trapped, she was abused, and she was raped. She felt she had no other option. I once felt what she did, but I found my escape and freedom. She, and many other submissives, sadly don't. I know this hurts you, Nacreous. It hurts me, and I wasn't as near as close to her as you were." I paused, watching him closely. His wings had lowered, and his optics lost their fire. "I don't blame you for her death, I blame the lies of this barbaric culture we've been raised to follow. Traditionalism is right in some areas, I concur. I think it's necessary we learn how to fight since birth. We have enemies. And I think trining is far better than mating with a single Conjunx Endura, but… It has it's bad side. The way submissives are punished, the absolute control trineleaders have that they can get away with rape and murder… That needs to end. We're better than this. We can have strong bonded, obedient trines without ever needing to harm each other. My trine and every other non-traditional trine is the perfect example of this. We can do without the pain and rape."

"It's not rape, Starscream."

"I'm sorry, have you ever been raped before?" I raised an optical ridge. "Have you ever had someone hold you down against your will, penetrate you, and used you to their spark's desire as you cried from the pain and having your rights as a person thrown away because _they_ wanted it? Have you ever been dominated?"

"No, I have not been raped nor dominated, but that-"

"But _nothing_!" I snapped. "I've been _raped_ , Nacreous. A _lot_. And by more than just Thundercracker. And it's more than just being made to interface when you're not in the mood. It's destructive to your processor. You lose self esteem, it's absolutely humiliating, there's no love, you feel absolutely worthless, and it destroys you for the rest of your life. Thundercracker has now changed, and no longer rapes me, and has apologized a million times for it, and I forgive him, but I'm still hurt by it. I'm still broken from what my rapists have done to me. Even though I may love interface, being raped is nothing like bonding with those I love."

Nacreous was silent a moment before speaking. "Who else raped you?" He asked a little softer, but still firm. Sounding like my protective, big brother again.

I flicked my wings, seeing Brakelight. "It's not your concern who else used me to satisfy themselves."

"You're my brother. I think it is."

"You have betrayed me to my abusive trineleader and even ordered him to hurt me. I highly doubt your concern for me. But I didn't summon you here to discuss who enjoyed my body. Maelstrom and traditionalism is why you're here."

"She's dead, Starscream. There's nothing I can do but mourn and regret. Why bother with me?"

"I need your help."

"With what?"

"We both have experienced the worst part of traditionalism. I a submissive who was beaten, raped, and forced to carry, and you a trineleader who lost a submissive to the abuse you dealt. We need to work together to educate others on why this needs to end. Why traditionalism has its ugly side that must be removed. That we can better our kind without the pain and suffering. Nacreous… I know you see the bad side now since Maelstrom is gone. Please, don't let her death be in vain. She did it to escape the cruelty, as well as to open your optics. We need to listen to her and help our kind." I paused, studying him. He was silent, not really looking at me. "Nacreous… I know you loved her… And I know she loved you. When you first brought her home to show her off to carrier and sire, it was beyond obvious your two were madly in love and couldn't get enough of each other. And traditionalism took that love away. It made you a tyrant and her your property, a slave, a mere object to control and use. And it's not right. None of this is. She should still be here, healthy, loved, and enjoying life. And you shouldn't be in pain." I paused, my wings lowering. "It's okay to cry. I won't tell anyone."

He swallowed, facing away from me now. "Crying won't bring her back." His vocalizer was soft.

"No, it won't… But holding it in won't help you either."

He turned to me. "I lost my mate. Nothing helps anymore. I don't even want to look for another. It's just going to be me and Stardust for now on."

"How is she doing?"

"Miserable." He looked away again. "She cries a lot… Latches onto me when I'm home and never lets go. Interface doesn't even feel satisfying anymore. Just… Empty without Maelstrom. Even tried something different with Dust and… Still empty."

"Interface can never heal. I wish it did. I wish it could do everything people seem to think it does. I sometimes wish I was like Hellfire and didn't desire it or ever experienced it. His life is so simple. No trinemates, no interface, no need for relationships, intimacy, or reproducing. He just lives alone with all his pets…"

"His life is much simpler…"

I slowly nodded. "I'm jealous of that hellion…"

"Be nice to my brother."

"My brother, too."

"I'm the eldest. Only I get away with namecalling."

"I'm older than him."

"I still am the only one who can namecall."

I faintly smiled, seeing some of my old brother again. "You're also the only one allowed to pick on us."

"Yeah." He said it in a "well, duh" voice, his optics rolling a bit.

I hesitated, then walked over and hugged him. He didn't react right away, but soon he hugged me back, holding me close as only my protective brother could. And this contact brought us both back to stellar cycles ago when we were young and close to each other.

"I'm scared." I whispered to him finally. "I'm really scared. I-I don't know if I can do this."

"I know… I'm scared for you." He whispered back, stroking my backplates over the cape.

"I need help convincing them to stop abusing their submissives, and I need to keep Vos running, and deal with the Senate, and I'm going to have to meet the Prime, and-"

"Shhh, you can do it. I know you can. You have good advisors, Asperitas won't let anyone hurt you, and I know your trinemates will always be there with you."

I looked up at him. "I need more than just them. Please, help me. _Please_ , Nacreous. You're my brother. I've always looked up to you. I always depended on your protection and wisdom when I was little. I need it again."

"I don't know what else I can do to help you, Star."

"Help me with the traditionals. That's all I ask. Please. If not for me, for Maelstrom." I bit my lip plate, anxiously watching his optics.

He vented a small sigh. "Let me talk to Stardust. If I do help you it might be hard on her."

"She can move in the palace. She doesn't have to be left alone in that apartment where Maelstrom died. I can prepare your old berthroom."

"Tempting…" He stroked the top of my helm before gently pressing my cheekplates against his broad chest, and holding it there. He was just silent for almost a klik, holding me, before speaking again. "I'll consider your proposition, Star. I still think some physical punishment is necessary, but… I can see where too much can be a bad thing. I don't make any promises on my ability to change processors."

"I just ask that you try… And to never hurt me again."

He vented a soft sigh. "I won't, Star. Never again." He made me look up at him, faintly smiling at me. "I never thought I would see my little brother wearing a crown and parading around as Alpha. Even though you killed sire, I bet he's still proud of you."

"Strange to be proud of someone who killed you."

"He would be proud that you made it to Alpha, and that you're a good person. Still a little aft, but a good little aft."

"I'm fabulous." I fluttered my wings, smiling innocently.

"Mhmm." He kissed my brow, something I have not had from him in so long. He studied my faceplates, silent, musing for a moment before speaking. "You're going to be a great Alpha. I know you will. And I'll be on your side."

"Promise?"

"I promise. You're my little brother, after all. And as the eldest, it's my job to take care of my siblings. No matter how annoying they may be." He smirked.

My smile grew, and I hugged him tighter. "Love you, Nacky."

"Hmm." He stroked my helm before hugging back. "Love you, too, Screamer."

* * *

I was still in my office a couple of cycles later when the door slid open and my carrier entered.

"Hey, my little mechling." She smiled, trotting over to the desk.

My wings fluttered as I looked up at her. "Hey, carrier. Guess what I did-" I became silent when I noticed the two Seeker mechs also now in the room. They weren't guards, nor siblings. I had never seen them before. My wings hiked as my optics narrowed, not trusting these strangers.

"Calm yourself, sweetspark." Carrier leaned over the desk to kiss me on the cheekplates. "I want you to meet the mechs who should have been your sire and uncle."

I finally pulled my gaze off them and onto her, my wings lowering a bit. "What?"

She took my servos and made me stand. She pulled me around the desk and bounced in front of me. "Starscream, this is my trine. This is Ricochet, he is the trineleader and would be your sire if things turned out differently. And this one is Deluge." She gleefully introduced them.

"Hey, Starscream, it's finally nice to meet you." Ricochet held his servo out to me, smiling warmly.

Now, I admit I am a jealous, selfish individual who is awful about sharing, and the thought of now sharing my carrier with two strange mechs just irked me. Skycutter being with her was fine because, well, he's my sire, and then my uncles and aunts, well, they always were with her. I grew up sharing her attention with all of them. But with some strangers I never had seen before? And they were undoubtedly planning on sticking their little spikes in her once she gave birth to my youngest sibling. No, I wasn't having it. Not this orbital cycle, anyway.

I eyed the proffered servo for a tense moment before superciliously tossing my helm up and returning to my desk, my wings hiked. Ricochet raised an optical ridge as he retracted his servo, and carrier narrowed her optics.

"Starscream…" She said slowly in that vocalizer I knew all too well meant she was not a happy carrier.

"They can leave." I replied flatly, sitting at my desk once more.

"Star, don't do this."

"Do what, carrier dearest?" I feigned my innocence.

"I'm sorry, my loves, Starscream has always been a little bit… Greedy. He doesn't like it when he has to share." Moonlight said it sternly, giving me a harsh glare that only my carrier could give.

"Starscream, we're not stealing your carrier." Ricochet began. "In all fairness, we had her first."

"I quite understand. I just have not met you before and therefore do not trust you." I stated, my wings flicking a little.

"Starscream, they're my trinemates and you're going to have to learn to accept them." Carrier firmly replied.

I really wasn't in the mood to argue with her or deal with these strangers intruding on my family life. I was the Alpha, after all, and could do what I wanted. And I wanted away from here.

"Know what?" I stood up, servos on my desk. 'I think I'm going for a flight. I had enough family drama this orbital cycle with Nacreous and I really need a break." I stepped around the desk and headed for the door. I stopped just before it, glaring back at those two mechs as my wings hiked threateningly. "Hurt her and you'll be begging for death before I'm through with you." I icily warned before palming the door open and marching out.

* * *

"Star, slow down!"

"No!" I shouted back, racing through the spirals of my city, my trinemates chasing after me.

I had stormed into our quarters, threw off my Alpha garb, and ordered my mates to chase me. The one who caught me would get to have at me however they pleased. That made them into a couple of horny cyberdogs and me the cyberdog in heat. I had flung myself out the door and over the balcony's banister before transforming and fleeing. Now, we were racing well over Mach 2, not as fast as we could go, but not taking it easy either.

I aileron rolled, barreled rolled, dove, channeled, loop-de-loop, everything, having fun, feeling the cold air against my plates, being free, and temporary forgetting my stressful life's problems. I was home in the skies. This was where I was safe, happy, and could be myself.

I ascended vertically, soaring upwards to the heavens until I saw the stars. I pushed myself harder, feeling myself leaving the atmosphere and the nearing vacuum of space. I transformed, shut down my thrusters, and allowed myself to plummet towards the planet. The wind roaring by me, the only audible sound as my frame warmed up from the descent, only to become cold again. I saw Vos' spirals, growing larger as I neared. I finally noticed my trinemates also falling with me in their root modes. I smiled, loving that they were just as adventurous and playful as I was.

I transformed once we were falling between towers, and powered my thrusters to max. I twisted and turned through the maze of structures for a klik before finally descending, transforming, and landing hard in the plaza. My peds scraped on the ground as I skidded, sparks flying beneath me. I leaned back, a servo touch the ground to help balance me as I was forced to power on my thrusters, desperate to slow down now.

I finally came to a screeching halt, barely missing crashing into a statue base of a previous Alpha. Once I was no longer in motion, I perked my wings and looked behind me. Skywarp was performing the same maneuver of using his thrusters to slow down as he skidded, and Thundercracker caught the side of a wall to stop him as he slid past. Another safe, high speed landing!

"Okay, we almost harmed ourselves. Now what?" Thundercracker grumbled as he approached.

"Now…" I glanced around, looking for something else to do. My wings perked as I smiled. "We play in the water fountain!" I raced off with Skywarp to do so.

Thundercracker rolled his optics and quietly followed. The fountain was on, shooting water out of the ground in a pattern. Small sprays of water than some large ones in the center area. This part of the fountain area really was for sparklings to play in when visiting the plaza. There were a few Seekerlets and even grounder younglings having fun when Skywarp and I made our entrance. It was large enough for quite a few grown Seekers to play in, so not like we stepped on any Seekerlets.

The cool water felt nice after having overheated my systems with all the hard flying I had just performed. Skywarp grabbed my servos and begun to spin me around, and soon we were twirling around like younglings while getting shot with water from the fountain.

I miss that time when I was young, naïve, and could be silly and playful. Before I became hardened by that damn war, before I saw my family and friends die all around me, before Vos was bombed, before he ever came into my life. When the only scars I carried were from Brakelight's rape and what Thundercracker had done to me. I miss being that sparkling-ish Seeker that hadn't grown up yet. That hadn't been in war and knowing only horror, fear, and afraid of recharge for the thought of an assassin or angry Megatron barging into my room to hurt me.

I miss playing in the water fountain.

"Gah!" I yelped when Skywarp hooked his ped behind my knee and jerked, causing me to ungracefully land on my aft.

I fell over one of the heads for the large fountain sprays, just in time for it to shoot out and strike me in the face. Skywarp doubled over guffawing, pointing at me as he did so.

"It's just like when TC cums on your face! Ha!"

I spat out water, spluttering some as I felt it going down a wrong pipe before coughing. I got to my peds and shoved my mate, pushing him into the main fountain, where he fell with a loud splash.

"Ah!" He exclaimed in surprise before falling under the water, his legs still over the wall containing the pool. He managed to stand up, spitting out water, his wings drooping. "Slagging hell, Star…" His wings flicked, ribbons of water splattering from the tips of them.

"You love me." I innocently smirked, my servos resting on the wall as my face got in his.

"Heh." His lopsided smile spread itself over his adorable faceplates just before he grabbed my neck and yanked me down hard.

I barely got out a started squawk before I too fell helm first into the pool. My aft didn't even get a chance to go under before Skywarp slapped it hard.

"Alright, alright," Thundercracker approached, not amused by our rough housing. "Be careful. There's little ones running around and I don't need my femmes knocking over anyone."

"But we're good femmes!" Skywarp giggled, his wings fluttering.

"Yes, I picked the best femmes for my harem." He lifted Skywarp's chin before pecking a quick kiss to his lip plates. "I love you two to the sun and back. But, you need to not be so crazy."

"Okay, TC…" Skywarp lowered his wings.

I was now standing beside Skywarp when I got an evil idea. I sweetly smirked before grabbing Thundercracker's arm and yanking hard suddenly.

"Come on, Thunder! Get wet!"

"No, Star I-"

He wasn't able to say anything more for Skywarp grabbed the other arm and with our combined force we yanked him off balance and into the pool.

"Woot!" Skywarp and I did a double hi-five above our helms.

Our victory celebration was not to last, for Thundercracker rose from the watery depths like a great sea monster, and we both knew we were screwed.

I, like the brave, fearless warrior I am, leaped out of the pool and bolted for the street. Skywarp managed to teleport before Thundercracker's servos firmly wrapped around his neck. I didn't dare look back, but I heard his furious roar, bellowing my designation, followed by his heavy ped falls as he pursued me.

I knew I would be turned over his knee in public, Alpha or not. Thundercracker never forgave for such stunts like that. Still doesn't. I had to escape if I was to survive. For the sake of my aft's welfare.

I ran down the streets, turned a few corners, until I finally stopped at a street corner. I panted, letting my systems have a chance to cool down. I didn't see my trinemate, so assumed I lost him. I meandered, casually strolling down the streets of my city, needing the respite from the stress and Thundercracker's impending revenge.

I had gone a ways before a young, Seeker femme pounced out from nowhere and invaded my personal space. I hiked my wings in surprise, watching her closely. She circled around me, her optics scrutinizing me. I spun around with her, not letting her out of my sight, my wings flicking. She finally ceased studying me and looked me in the optics, her wings giving a flick of their own.

My optics narrowed, frame tensing, ready for a potential fight with this stranger. Suddenly, she stepped forward, pivoted around, pressed her aft against my codpiece, and forced my arms to wrap around her waist. I didn't have time to react before she grasped my helm and forced an unwelcomed kiss to my lip plates.

That's when I finally realized what was happening. She was courting me to be a breeding mate.

My engine growled, wings flared, and optics glowed before I shoved her away. I snarled at her, flicking my wings aggressively as I flared them, trying to make myself look as large as possible. Of course, that just made me more attractive to her. She moved in again, grabbing at me as I pushed at her. I snapped my denta, hissed, growled my engine, and was as aggressive as I possibly could be, but, alas, she wanted my spike and was willing to risk losing a limb for it. Which, is pretty hot. But, no, I wasn't going to have her. Not that easily, at least.

She managed to get her servos on my codpiece and I punched her in the abdomen. She hissed and clawed at my faceplates, forcing me to step back. I lost my balance when I stepped off the curb, not realizing it was there, and fell onto my back. She was upon me instantly, grinding her codpiece against mine, her legs wrapping around my waist. I shoved at her, trying to get her off me, but she managed to push my arms aside and plant a firm kiss to my lip plates. I snapped at her, and she only licked my cheekplates.

As I struggled against her sexual advances, I finally heard the angry and jealous roar of my big, strong, hunky mate. The femme was viciously torn off me by her wing, and slammed into the ground with such force that her olfactory sensor broke. Thundercracker tore into her, pinning her down as he punched, clawed at, and ripped plates off. His engine screaming, wings flaring, optics glowing with death, denta barred, and making all those animalistic sounds murderous Seekers are known for making in the heat of the battle.

Skywarp appeared and aided Thundercracker in beating the slag out of the femme. She fought back and finally managed to get out of their clutches. She transformed, heavily leaking energon, and flew away, breaking the sound barrier when she was barely out from over us.

Skywarp and Thundercracker watched her flee, wings still flared and the fires of hell in their optics. I got to my peds, that display of my trinemates savagery and ferocity only making me want them to frag me hard and never let me go.

"Thanks for the assist, sexies." I smirked seductively.

My trinemates turned as one to face me, their wings perking. I motioned them over with a single digit before turning myself around and removing my codpiece. Thundercracker shoved Skywarp aside and lunged forward. His powerful arms immediately wrapped around me with a death grip, and he was in me before I could react. I gasped from the sudden penetration, then the harsh biting on my nape that followed. He thrust hard and fast into me, his wings flicking and flaring, making sure everyone saw him claiming me. I was his, not that Seeker femme's. And he wasn't going to let anyone touch me.

Skywarp kissed me on the lip plates, not daring to try and get himself in me when Thundercracker was this hard and sexually aroused.

"Shh, calm down." I cupped Thundercracker's cheekplates with a servo when he started to growl at Skywarp. "I'm yours. All yours, big guy. Shh, oh… Hah…. Calm down, my love. Oh, oh, hahhh… But you need to, ah, share me with Warp. Hah, share, my love. I know you're excited." I smirked, moaning softly. "You got all worked up, hah, from that fight, didn't you? Yes, you did." I kissed him over my wing. "I'm very proud of you. You both, hah, did so well protecting what's yours. So vicious."

Thundercracker fluttered his wings, kissing me on the lip plates, never letting up in his brutal thrusting. His arms were so tightly wrapped around my waist it felt like I was about to break in half.

Skywarp was able to join back in kissing me and pleasuring my body with his servos. I fluttered my wings, loving them so much.

"Skywarp, he's not gonna, oh, let you in. Turn around." I panted.

"Fine, but I get to hump you when we get home." He replied as he turned around.

"Absolutely, my love." I pulled him closer to me, removing my spike as he slid away his codpiece.

I entered him after a moment, hugged him against me, and thrust into him. Well, I was being humped so hard that Thundercracker practically was pounding into the both of us.

I noticed the Seekers watching us as they passed. Some just seem to see the usual public claiming and walked by. Others looked like they wanted in on that and I suspected them of being ones wanting to be a breeding mate. Then, there were the traditional trineleaders who looked down at us like some filth they had found on the bottom of their ped. I narrowed my optics at those traditionals, noting their features and color schemes. Those would be potential challengers. They would be the ones to question my rule and give me trouble.

I calmly watched them, my faceplates an enigma, not wanting them to know how nervous I was about what they might do. I was Alpha, and I would stay Alpha no matter who challenged me. No matter what difficult tasks I may face. I wasn't going to lose this position. Not so easily.

* * *

"My lord, you have a visitor." Asperitas informed as he entered my room, dressed in his royal guard armor, his helmet looking like a crown on top and his shoulder guards far larger, and more designs on his armor, revealing his status as the Captain of the Guard.

I turned around, wearing my own royal garb and my crown, my trinemates beside me as they helped dress me for my orbital cycle. My wings perked and optics widened when I saw my guest stepping out from behind Asperitas.

"Gearshift!" I pushed Thundercracker aside in the midst of him polishing me, to run over and hug my friend.

"Hey, silly Seeker." He smiled, hugging me tightly before lifting me up and spinning me around. "You look good in that."

I sheepishly smiled, wings fluttering. "Thanks, Gears. And thanks for coming."

"No need to thank me for that. Anything for my best friend."

I noticed his Conjunx Endura, Fascia, was with him. I released him and held my arms out to her. "Hey, Fascia," I smiled. "Been a while."

She smiled before hugging me. "Hey, Starscream. Good to see you again."

My wings fluttered, holding her for a moment before releasing her. "I have the Ambassador Suite prepared for you two. You may stay however long you please and come by anytime. Asperitas will see that your needs are met."

"Yeah, it's been forever since I last saw Asperitas." Gearshift said as he looked over at the large Seeker. "How have you been?"

Only Asperitas' optics were visible beneath his battlemask. "Busy." He grunted, not moving, his spear in his right servo as he kept the end of it on the floor.

"He's been helping me a lot." I commented. "Don't know what I'd do without him. Right, Asperitas?"

"I live to serve the Alpha, my liege."

"Oh, loosen up."

"Only when there are no threats to my Alpha."

"See? He's awesome." I then hugged Asperitas, something he was not expecting. I felt him tensing, obviously never having been properly hugged before. But, I would change this. "Asperitas?"

"My liege?"

"We should have a dinner party."

"As you command. What does my Alpha wish for?"

"Cake. Lots of it. And… everything bad for us. And engex. And… Sparkly energon. The one that has that actually sparkling fizz stuff in it that makes it look like you're drinking glitter!"

"Glitter?" He raised an optical ridge.

"A non-Seeker thing." I gave a dismissive wave. "You know… Pussy stuff."

"Ah."

"I want my glitter energon."

"As you command, my liege."

"Can I make a request?" Gearshift inquired.

"Mhmm!" I finally released Asperitas and stepped aside.

"Let Starscream stay up late and watch horror movies and we make a fort out of cushions to hide in."

Asperitas raised an optical ridge, not sure if that was serious or not. I snorted a snicker, but loved that idea.

"We should! Make it happen!" I exclaimed, Skywarp backing me up.

Asperitas just gave me a look before speaking. "As you command, my liege."

He was already done with my slag and my reign barely began.

* * *

It was the next orbital cycle that I stood outside the door that Powerlash opened, his wings lowering when seeing me.

"Hello, Powerlash." I greeted calmly, wearing my royal garb and crown, my trinemates behind me, and behind them six royal guards. "Is Solarstrike home?" I smirked.

"W-what are you doing here?" He anxiously asked, his optics darting from me to the guards.

"I'm here for Solarstrike." I entered the residence without waiting for his approval, my trinemates and guards following me.

"H-he's-"

Powerlash didn't get to finish for Solarstrike stepped out of his room just then to see who was there. His wings flared when his optics landed on me.

"Starscream, you're not welcomed here." He barked, flicking his wings.

"I am the Alpha. I may go wherever I so please." I approached him, smirking. "Seeker Solarstrike of Vos, you're under arrest for domestic violence, rape, illegal imprisonment, sparkling abuse, negligence, and being a straight up glitch." I snapped my digits. "Take him away."

"What the hell?! You can't do that! I have not done anything wrong!" He furiously roared as the guards grabbed him and began to put manacles on him.

"Actually, you've done a lot of slag wrong. Oh, and Skywarp has something to say." I gestured a quick wave motion at Skywarp, signaling he was free.

Skywarp bounded forward and punched Solarstrike as hard as he could on the faceplates. Solarstrike didn't even make a sound, his wings flicking and optics shooting more than just lasers at us.

"That's for the hell you put my carrier through." Skywarp growled. "For beating him, whipping him, chaining him, locking him away in a cage, raping him, humiliating him, and not even allowing him to bathe himself. I hate you and I always will. Because of you my carrier missed out on so much. He never got to have the joy of raising me as a carrier should. Taking me to the park, teaching me to fly, taking me to school, or simply getting to enjoy his son with the mech he made me with. My carrier will never be the same because of you. I know he hides his pain from everyone else, but I know him best. And you destroyed him. You shattered him and he will never not be afraid." He flicked his wings. "I hope you one orbital cycle are beaten, raped, chained, and left to die alone and scared. Experience what you did to my carrier before you finally die."

Solarstrike smiled evilly. "I don't regret any of it. Just letting you live."

Skywarp punched him again.

I snapped my digits and Skywarp instantly returned to his position behind and to my left. Once he was back in formation I spoke again.

"Powerlash will receive the Shanix he requires to buy his necessities. Seeing how this apartment has already been paid off, there is no need to provide housing for him. Overcast will be brought back home if he so wishes it. If he rather leave your trine, then I will see to it he does so and is financially cared for. You will not have to stress over your trinemates. Not that you do anyway. Take him away." I waved my servo.

"Do I at least get to say goodbye?" Solarstrike demanded.

"Very well. Then take him away."

Powerlash approached, coolant leaking down his optics, scared of what was happening. He hugged his trineleader, his wings drooping. Solarstrike pressed his brow against his mate's, unable to hold him with his servos restrained behind his back.

"Don't worry, he can't lock me up forever. I'll be back to care for you." Solarstrike said surprisingly gently. "Stay with one of our creations. I don't want you here alone."

Powerlash nodded, starting to sob now. "Y-yes, sir. I love you."

"Love you, too." He then kissed him on the lip plates.

The guards took Solarstrike away, leaving Powerlash to hug himself as he broke down crying, trembling with his fear of what was happening. Skywarp broke formation, disobeying me to comfort his uncle with a hug. I let it slide. This was his family and he could break formation for a bit to take care of his uncle.

I vented a sigh after a moment, only two guards now left with us. "Powerlash, would you like to stay in the palace tonight? Or do you need help with any other accommodations?"

He wiped at his optics, calming down some with Skywarp hugging him. "I-I will stay w-with one of my creations, s-sir." He managed between soft sobs.

I slowly nodded. I unsubspaced a small bag of Shanix and proffered it to him. "Here, this will be able to get you enough energon for a few decacycles. Ask Skywarp if you need anything and I shall provide. I promise."

Powerlash slowly nodded his helm, taking the Shanix. We stayed there for a breem longer before Powerlash was calm enough, and left. But we weren't done.

Next, we arrived at Lightspeed's apartment and arrested his trineleader. Lightspeed and Tailslide were in shock, and for a moment I thought they might fight back, but they behaved and Skywarp chose to stay behind to talk with his sire.

He was excited. After all, his promise to his creators was about to be fulfilled.

* * *

It was the next orbital cycle, and I was a little grumpy because Skywarp jumped on me to online me that morning. He was beyond ecstatic for what was going to happen.

"And the guards do everything you tell them to do!" Skywarp eagerly informed his sire as they stood on the balcony outside my room. The really fragging huge balcony.

"Really? You must have fun with that." Lightspeed smile.

Skywarp giggled. "Yeah, I do."

I was sitting by Thundercracker, the two of us drinking energon. Asperitas was going though a report beside me, asking me questions every so often concerning what he was working on. Gearshift and Fascia sat nearby, enjoying the life of luxury as a servant poured them more energon.

We looked up at the sound of approaching jet engines, seeing two Seekers nearing. The guards knew to expect them, so didn't react or try to fly up and meet them. The two Seekers transformed and landed, one a little wobbly, so the second one helped balance him by holding his arm.

Lightspeed perked his wings, his optics slowly onlining. the glass he held fell from his servo and shattered on the ground. He couldn't move, his jaw hanging open. Skywarp fluttered his wings, bouncing on his thruster heels, barely able to contain himself.

Hellfire helped Overcast approach Lightspeed, Skywarp's carrier trying to go as fast as he could, but still weak from the vorns of abuse and neglect. His optics were filling with coolant, reaching his arms out.

Lightspeed finally broke out of his trance and ran the last few steps before embracing his lover in a tight, protective hug, their wings fluttering. Hellfire released Overcast and quickly gave them their space, trotting over to me. Lightspeed spun Overcast around, before setting him back down and kissing him on the lip plates. Overcast cupped Lightspeed's faceplates, holding him close as he kissed back.

"I missed you." Lightspeed said softly once he broke the kiss, pressing his brow against his lover's.

"I know. I missed you, too." Overcast smile, his arms wrapping around Lightspeed's helm. "I've been waiting for this orbital cycle forever. It's better than I imagined."

"You're more gorgeous than all those videos and pictures you sent me."

"Already flirting with me?" Overcast sheepishly smiled.

"I waited far too long to talk to your face directly. I'm going to start where we left off."

"Before I became sparked with Skywarp or before we were separated?"

"How about… Before we conceived our precious son. Because I believe we were interfacing like petrorabbits during that time."

Overcast giggled, his wings fluttering. "Need to work me up to that level again, love. It's been a very long time since someone properly made love to me."

"I'll take it at whatever pace you need me to. So long as I never have to let you go again, I will do whatever you want, go wherever you go, and be whatever you need me to be."

"I just need you to be mine till the bitter end."

"I already am yours." He kissed him again.

Skywarp materialized beside his creators, forcing his way between them.

"I'm about to hug you both at the same time." He intook deeply before letting it out slowly. "I've prayed and hoped for this moment for as long as I could remember. Okay, TC, ready?"

"Mhmm." Thundercracker held up the camera to capture this moment.

"Alright, here goes." Skywarp then wrapped his arms around both his creators and pulled them close. His creators hugged him and each other back, the three of them together like this for the first time. Their first time ever as a proper family.

Thundercracker took the picture, and handed the camera back to Skywarp. He quickly returned to me, letting them have the space they needed.

"I do love a happy ending." I replied as Thundercracker returned to his seat beside me.

"Do you, now? Because you always cheer for the villains in movies." Thundercracker grunted.

I smirked, getting off my chair to instead sit on his lap. He didn't react other than to wrap an arm around my waist and firmly hold me close to him. Hellfire immediately stole my vacant seat, ignoring Asperitas' judgmental glare.

"Bad guys arrested, Skywarp's creators reunited, and plans for making this city better for everyone in the works. I'd say things were going 'swimmingly' if it weren't for the fact I don't know how to swim." I snuggled into his broad chassis.

"Hmm, let's hope they stay 'swimmingly.'" He grunted, patting my aft a couple of times.

"Yeah, I hope so, too." I said it quietly, resting my helm on his shoulder, feeling safe in his arms, but my fear for the traditional trineleaders still plaguing my processor.

* * *

"Hey, glitch?"

"Yes, whore?" Thundercracker replied as he looked through a datapad.

I trudged over to the couch, lying on it and resting my helm on his lap. "I'm tired…"

"Hmmm." He petted my helm, still looking at his datapad.

"Do I have to go out and address the public?"

"I'm afraid so, little whore."

"Whatever, fataft, glitchfaced, whinyaft… spike." I pathetically retorted, rolling on my back and looking up at him.

"Do you want my spike?" He raised an optical ridge, finally looking down at me.

"What do you take me for? A whore?"

"Absolutely. You're very much a whore. You're my whore."

I flicked my wings, glaring at him a moment before sighing. "Yeah… I am a whore…"

"Mhmm."

"Who's a whore?" Skywarp inquired as he trotted over from the closet, where he had put on every cape he could find.

"Starscream's a whore."

"Oh, tell me something that isn't obvious."

I rolled my optics. "Whatever, fragface…" I sat up, Thundercracker's servo moving to stroke my backplates as he continued reading. I scooted closer to him, optics offlining, enjoying his loving caresses to my backplates and then scratching my wings.

"We going out still?" Skywarp asked as he stood in front of the mirrors, inspecting how he looked with twenty colorful capes covering his front, sides, wings, helm, and back.

"Unfortunately." I groused. "Fireflight, Noctilucent, Silverstorm, Astral, Asperitas, and everyone else says I have to address the people again now since I'm taking action on my new laws. I have to 'ease the people's nerves' or whatever slag." I leaned into Thundercracker's petting, moving myself onto his lap.

"Your step-sires gonna be there?"

I rolled my optics. "Probably…"

"My creators said they want to give me siblings. I don't know how I feel about that. I want them happy and all, but I'm use to being the only creation. What is it even like having siblings?"

"Take it from someone with over 900 of them… It sucks." I grunted, ignoring Thundercracker as he hugged me and began to kiss my cheekplates repeatedly.

"I feel like if I ever had siblings they'd hate me. Because I know I'd be the slag creation."

"You are definitely a slagger." I offlined my optics as Thundercracker started to licked all over my faceplates with some kissing.

Skywarp spun around, causing the capes to flutter from his body. "I look so hot." He giggled.

"Mhmm, you do." I tried turning my face away, but Thundercracker only held me closer to him, never ceasing in his licks and slobbery kisses.

Skywarp perked his wings. "You gonna eat 'im, TC?"

"Yes. Eat him right up." Thundercracker smiled sexily, a servo lowering to my codpiece.

I rolled my optics. "For frag's sake, why are you so horny all the slagging time? Seriously? Do you have some condition? Oof!" I flicked my wings when he roughly forced me down onto the couch. "Thunder… I need to look decent for the-Thunder, if you're going to frag me make it fast. I seriously don't have time for a long frag. And don't get anything on my face. Or chest… Only keep it in the valve. I don't have time to clean."

"You are no fun." Thundercracker grumpily replied as he got between my legs and groped my codpiece.

"You're the horniest slagger to ever be born… I am never this horny and I love interface."

"He sometimes frags you while you're recharging." Skywarp apprised me.

"What?" I glared at Thundercracker. "Why did you never tell me before?"

Skywarp shrugged. "Because I do the same."

"I seriously hate the both of you…."

Thundercracker began to bite my neck stabilizers and shoulders, preparing to enter me when the door opened.

"My liege, you best begin to prepare for your-" Asperitas paused. "Should I leave?"

"No. In fact, I need this distraction. Stop!" I slapped Thundercracker's cheekplates. "You are awful. Seriously, fragging awful. Hey, I know you want to copulate with me, but I need to do Alpha stuff."

"I'll do alpha stuff with you." He lecherously said in a low, almost creepy vocalizer, only lust in his optics. "I'll make you scream and beg, but I won't stop. Not until I've overloaded so much into you I'm shooting blanks."

"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" I slapped him again. "Stop being _disgusting_! Are you-? GROSS! Cover it back up! That's sickening! If you stick me with that I'm going to-"

"Sir?" Asperitas raised an optical ridge, unperturbed by the scene.

I scrambled to freedom, extricating myself from Thundercracker's predatory hold and climbing over the arm of the couch to freedom. The sicko was so hard now he was humping the air where I once had been.

"You're the worst." I grumbled, approaching Skywarp.

Skywarp giggled. "He just loves ya, Screamer."

"Don't call me that. You sound like my siblings." I snatched a cape from his wing before stomping to get dressed.

"Screamer!" Skywarp snickered like a youngling.

"My liege, your friends, Skyfire and Gearshift, are waiting outside. Should I allow entry?" Asperitas inquired.

"Yes, let them in. Maybe Thundercracker will behave himself." I rolled my optics hearing my blue trinemate's sexual growls, wanting me back over. "You better put that away before I cut it off." I snapped. "Seriously, Thunder, you're disgusting."

"You're the one that puts it in your mouth." He pointed out like I was the slut.

I flicked my wings as I was beginning to polish myself. "Not in front of my friends. Normal bonding is one thing, but not what you're doing…" I vented an exasperated sigh as I heard him still growling. I grabbed a cushion and threw it at him. "Hump that! Out on the balcony! Go!"

Thundercracker caught the cushion in a servo and pressed it between his legs. "I'll do it in front of you. Show you what you're missing out on." He then proceeded to hump the innocent, non-consenting cushion.

"Asperitas, please throw him out on the balcony." I begged of him.

"As you command." He inclined his helm before grabbing Thundercracker's wing and dragging him off. He shoved him outside, and locked the door.

"Thank you, Asperitas."

"Anything for the Alpha."

Skywarp was behind me trying to help polish me, still covered in all the capes. Skyfire and Gearshift entered now, thankfully with Thundercracker gone. I smiled up at them.

"Hey, guys. Mind helping me get ready?"

"Yeah, what do you need us to do?" Gearshift asked as he stood by.

"I need to polish, wax, paint over any scratches, and then get dressed. If one of you could help Skywarp and the other make sure my outfit is shiny and clean, that'll be great."

"I'll help polish you." Skyfire said quickly, as I knew he would.

"Get on it then, big guy." I flashed him a knowing smirk, and he sheepishly smiled back.

Gearshift rolled his optics, and Skywarp didn't seem to notice. Not like he could. One of the capes now draped over his optics and he was blindly polishing my wing.

* * *

I ascended the stairs to the stage, my trinemates in formation behind me and the royal guard all around. Thundercracker was a little moody because I had ice water dumped on him to get his stupid erection to go away. Once he gets those they seem to last for joors. Which, is super hot, but very annoying when needing to look professional.

I stopped at the center of the stage, my wings rising, and a red cape hanging from them. I fought back the urge to adjust my crown. It felt like it was leaning more on one side but I knew it was perfectly inline. They used magnets on it to keep it so. Because Primus forbid it's even one degree tilted!

I cleared my vocalizer, the camera drones hovering nearby, ready to capture all I was about to say and do. I saw my people before me, some faces I knew, others were strangers. My carrier and her trine were in the front, and I saw my creations with their families. Skyfire, Gearshift, and Fascia were in the front, off to the side, silently encouraging me on.

I felt a bit better seeing them, so I begun. "My Seekers, I come before you to discuss the ongoing changes in the law and the actions being taken to enforce it. As many of you have noticed, several traditional trineleaders have been arrested and sentenced to prison time for their unlawful and cruel actions towards their submissives. These trineleaders will be released when their sentences have been completed. But if they should choose to continue their criminal and abusive activity towards their submissives, the consequences shall be far more severe. While those of you who do not agree with these laws may be tempted to disobey, know that you _will_ be discovered, arrested, and prosecuted. I will not allow this continuation of-"

"YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF BEING THE ALPHA!"

I hiked my wings, searching for the heckler until I saw the golden Seeker approaching. Little did I realize at the time this particular Seeker would be a javelin in my side for vorns to come. The guards all tensed, preparing for a fight.

"Worthy?" I replied calmly, giving him a steely glare, my trinemates growling their engines. "I defeated Skycutter. I proved my worth with his demise."

"You got lucky!" The golden Seeker continued, two Seekers who were his submissives staying back at the edge of the crowd. "A former submissive like you does not belong in any leadership position! Look at him!" He gestured at me with a rough throw of his servo, turning to face the crowd. "He's been used for breeding! He's a carrier, meant to stay at home with sparklings and pleasure his trineleader. He has no business telling us what to do!"

"I concur!" Another traditional trineleader shouted. "This is a submissive pretending to be dominant! He's obviously confused not being in the berthroom with a sparkling suckling from him!"

"I think we should give him a chance!" A green Seeker put in, who I would later learn to be Acid Storm. His trinemates were on edge, anxious about him saying that to these aggressive traditionals.

"Only the foolish would dare support this weak submissive!" Another person added.

"He's not my Alpha!"

"Tear him apart!"

"Tie him to the whipping post and flog him until he's dead!"

"He claims there's rape in Seeker society. Let's show him _actual_ rape!"

"Yeah! Rape him!"

"I'll do a better job with him than his former trineleader did!"

"Give him to me and I'll beat his aft until he learns his place!"

"I say we _all_ get a turn beating his aft!"

"He's pissy because he obviously didn't get enough of that!"

"This idiot thinks anything is 'abuse.' What a pussy!"

"He wants to see real abuse? I can show him it!"

I felt a panic attack coming, hearing this vitriol, this onslaught of philippics and murderous diatribes against me. I was horrified. I just wanted to cling to Thundercracker and cry into his strong, protective, secure arms, knowing he'll keep me safe. At this time of my life, I was not able to handle such hatred thrown at me so publicly or in such an extensive amount. I was still young, still learning just how hateful the world truly was. I hadn't developed my thick spinal strut yet. So, I was petrified. I felt like crying. I wanted to fly away, hide somewhere, and just cry my spark out.

My trinemates were on either side of me, their wings flared, engines growling, optics narrowed, and denta barred. They were prepared for battle. But, they weren't the ones who'd be fighting.

"I challenge you!"

My spark dropped inside of me. This was what I feared most. Being challenged by a large, furious, and murderous traditional trineleader who only wanted to tear out my organs and make me eat them as they raped me. How could little, scrawny, pathetic, cowardly, youngling me ever hope of winning a fight against them? I barely defeated Thundercracker, I got lucky with Skycutter, but a third time winning? Like that would ever happen.

But, I had no choice. I had to accept the challenge and fight. Not accepting it would only cause all the traditional trineleaders to swarm and dismember me. And I quite like my limbs. I had to win this to stay alive, but most importantly to keep my trinemates alive. I had to protect them.

I stepped forward, my wings flared, hiding that everything in my systems were screaming at me to flee and hide. "I accept your challenge." I replied bravely, hiding my true inner turmoil and fear.

"Of course you do." The golden Seeker approached, his vibrant wings flicking.

I removed my crown and cape, handing them to Thundercracker, then removed the rest of my royal garb and gave it to Skywarp. The golden Seeker activated his thrusters and landed on top of the stage, menacingly approaching me.

"Before we begin, I must know your designation." I said, taking a step away from my trinemates.

"Contrail." He grunted. "And I'm going to enjoy dominating you, little femmling."

I snorted an exhale, finding that comment a little pedophile-ish, but refrained from commenting on it. "Whenever you are ready, Contrail."

Without preamble, he lunged at me. I quickly stepped aside and dodged his first attack, but I misjudged his speed. I was use to Thundercracker who was slower. Contrail was not slow. He spun around and swung a fist, striking me in my side. I yelped, activating my thrusters before transforming and taking off. My engine screamed as I broke the sound barrier, and Contrail soon did the same.

I spiraled upward, needing to gain some distance and altitude. My processor was racing, needing to figure out where to go and what to do. I did not know this Seeker, I did not know how he fought. I needed to calculate, to plan, to prepare for this battle.

I chandelled before aileron rolling as I dove. Contrail stayed right behind me, his engine screaming furiously. I was still faster than him in the skies and I was going to use that to my advantage. First, maybe I could get him to crash.

I sped towards the space port, spiraling and dodging the smaller ships and Seeker escorts. I aileron rolled downward to avoid striking a freighter taking off, flying beneath it, the vibration of it's immensely powerful engine tickling my frame. I pushed myself harder, flying nearly at Mach 3, then pulling up. I ascended, nearly crashing into a smaller cargo vessel. I chandelled and raced towards the freighter taking off. I transformed, landed on the top of it, and skidded to a stop, needing to grasp at handlebars on it to stop myself. Contrail transformed and landed before me, his thrusters shrieking as he skidded to a stop.

"Little coward." He growled, stomping towards me.

I barred my denta and growled just before he struck. I dodged his first punch, and blocked the second. The third struck me in the faceplates, followed by a fourth. I backflipped, kicking his chin before I landed on my servos. I then swept my leg, striking his legs and knocking him over. Before he could recover I pounced, grabbing him and putting him in a helmlock. He managed to stand, being larger and stronger than me, but I refused to release him. He activated his thrusters, slammed himself down on top of me, and dragged me across the surface of the freighter. I was struck against a rail, but I still didn't release. He flew up, grasping my arms, trying to get me to let go, but still I clung. I activated my own thrusters, trying to steer him towards the thrusters of the ship. If I could get him to them I could set him on fire.

He must of figured out my plan because he powered his thrusters to the max and forced us away from the rear of the ship. I planted my peds onto the ship, thrusters shrieking from the effort. I pushed harder, trying to force him forward.

Then, I felt a searing, intense pain from my abdomen. I released him, stepping back, not realizing my servo instinctively went there. But I did notice it rise, and covered in energon. I glanced down, seeing energon gushing from a penetration wound on my abdominal plates.

I looked up, Contrail held a stiletto blade, it dripping with my energon. I didn't have time to react before he unsubspaced smaller blades and threw them at me. One struck me in the shoulder, the other a wing. I managed to evade the third. I yanked out the one in my shoulder and threw it at him before diving and rolling out of the line of fire. I got behind a barrier, calculating my next move, when I realized I saw energon droplets floating in front of me. My optics widened, frantically looking around to see that the freighter was leaving the atmosphere of Cybertron. I quickly locked down my vents and transformation seams, protecting my insides from the vacuum of space. I searched frequencies, needing to hear somehow or at least sense him.

I leaped when a sword blade slashed into the barrier beside me. I activated my thrusters and flew away, it feeling so odd without air or wind fighting back against my movements. Contrail swung his weapon at me again, and I dove down, flying alongside the ship. My wings perked, still wanting to put those thrusters to good use.

I flew back, missing another swing from Contrail, trying to lead him towards the thrusters of the freighter, while also trying to stay by it. It most likely would be jumping soon, and if I was going to burn him in the thrusters I had to do so hastily.

The ship's captain, unfortunately, was not on my side. For the ship jumped at that very moment.

The shockwave of it… It felt like I had been rammed into by the freighter itself. I know there's no sound in space, but I swear I heard the boom. Everything went black and when I onlined my optics I was burning up as I fell back into Cybertron's atmosphere. I transformed, trying to regain control over myself, trying to slow down. I managed to slow down just enough before striking the tip of a tower's lightning rod, sending me careening into another building, which I ricocheted off of and into yet another building, then tumbled out of control for a way before managing to get transformed and my thrusters powering on beneath me. I crashed into a train, then bounced off that into pedestrians.

I came to a rolling stop with a grounder cushioning me. Everything was disorienting for a few astroseconds before my fight or flight programming kicked in. I leaped to my peds, unaware of all the energon I was leaking and the fact my wings were a jumbled mess of broken struts and wires. I was too much in a rush to feel anything.

I ran down the street, needing to know where my adversary was before he could strike. I started to sense some of my surroundings, this place not being Vos. I was in another city, but I didn't have time to figure out which one.

I followed a crowd that seemed rushing to something, and they brought me to my challenger.

Contrail was heavily leaking on the sidewalk, energon gushing from his mouth, gashes all over his frame, his broken arm, and twisted wings. A nearby transport vehicle sported a hole as large as him, and glass was still falling from the building he was in front of, several hundreds of stories above.

I rushed forward, seizing the sword, then stabbing it through his shoulder. He screamed in pain, not having time to react before I ripped off his arm. I then proceeded to hack at his wings and tear off what was left of them. He tried standing, only to fall over, a large portion of his helm missing.

I pinned him down as I got behind him, grasping at his codpiece. He said something that I don't remember. I know it was gurgled as he was coughing up energon, but I didn't care. I pried off his codpiece, god mine removed and while I don't remember penetrating, I recall humping him, dominating him to be submissive to me.

I bit his nape, shoulders, and tore at what remained of his wings as I dominated. I gave it my all, trying to be as aggressive and cruel as possible. I had to get the message across. I had to stay Alpha. I was not to be subverted by anyone, especially not a traditional. I was Alpha, and I would stay Alpha.

I gave it to him as hard and cruelly as I could until I didn't remember anything.

* * *

"Ah!" I sat up, the rush of combat still in my systems. "Oof!" I grunted as servos grasped me and shoved me down.

"Don't move." Thundercracker sternly ordered me, keeping me down.

"What happened?" I rubbed my helm that felt like someone was actively hammering it.

"You won is what happened!" Skywarp proclaimed, his wings fluttering. "You beat the slag out of that slagger and returned home dragging him all messed up and profusely leaking. No one could believe it!"

"I do not recollect any of this…" I groaned. "Ugh… I feel worse than when I'm hung over…"

"You were pretty slagged up." Thundercracker kissed me. "You're in the med room right now. The doctor managed to seal off your wounds and is working on your new wings."

"How did I win..?"

"Beats me, but you did and that's all that matters."

"Where's Contrail?"

"He's at Vos' Primary Emergency Center."

"I wish to see him."

"No, you need to rest. Not go dominating anyone." Thundercracker flicked his wings.

"I'm sorry, was that an order? I'm the Alpha, I'm your trineleader. You obey me or else." I glared up at him."

"Star, you're wounded and need to be in a CR chamber for-"

"I believe I gave an order, Thundercracker. Obey it or else you'll be dominated." I snapped venomously.

Thundercracker glared at me, but obeyed. "As you wish, sir."

I was taken to the hospital, in terrible pain, but I managed. I was led to Contrail's room, his trinemates sitting on either side of his medberth. His yellow optics widened some when seeing me.

"Leave us." I commanded with a wave of my servo. "Including you two." I glanced at either of his trinemates.

They anxiously glanced at each other before kissing their trineleader and hastily departing. I waited until the door closed behind them before approaching Contrail.

"Here to finish me off?" He grunted, too weak to move.

"No, Contrail, I came to have a word." I sat beside his med berth, studying his beaten frame for a moment before speaking. "I will not beat or humiliate you. You have lost and that will be the end of it. I am your Alpha, and you shall obey me." I paused. "If you had done that with Skycutter or any previous Alpha they would of killed you. You're lucky I'm not like that."

"And that's what makes you unfit to me Alpha." He grumbled.

"Unfit because I refuse to kill my people?" I raised an optical ridge. "No, Contrail, I am very much fit to lead. And I will prove it to you and everyone else. But you all challenging me so early on in my reign isn't giving me this chance."

"We don't want a submissive as our Alpha."

"I am not a submissive. I'm a trineleader just like you are. Only, I do not beat or rape my trinemates. I am going to make changes. Changes for the better. I will help Vos and her people." I leaned closer in to him. "And not you or anyone else are going to stop me. I am not afraid of you nor any of the other trineleaders. I can easily defeat you all. I may not be as big or strong as you are, but I am smarter and faster. You won't ever defeat me." I said it darkly, sternly, my optics narrowed.

He didn't say anything, so I continued.

"I shall pay for your medical bills this time. There better not be a second time." I stood up and turned to leave. I paused, then looked back. "You ruined my speech. I had worked hard on getting that written. I hope that haunts you at night. Rest well, Contrail. I'll see you in the skies soon enough."

I then walked out and gestured for my trinemates to get in formation behind me. I left the hospital with my trinemates and guards, waiting until I was out before allowing Thundercracker to pick me up bridal style.

"Well? What happened?" Skywarp inquired, his wings perking.

I rested my helm on Thundercracker's shoulder, appreciating the ride for I was so weak now I was on the verge of collapsing. "I told him to never frag with me again, because I am the Alpha whether he likes it or not."

"Think he's gonna listen?"

"He will. They all will."

* * *

 **Sorry for this taking a while. Been extra suicidal lately. I just want my daughters back. A mother shouldn't have to bury her babies... I just don't see the point of continuing without my babies when they aren't here anymore... I don't really understand why I'm bothering anymore...**

 **I got this done. One more chapter and this fic is done. I don't mean to drag it out, but there are just some points to be made and to clear some things before I can truly end this fic. If I wrap it up too fast there would be many questions left unanswered. So, getting big ones answered first and though not all will be answered before the end, you can assume how things end up going since, ya know, Starscream does end up a Decepticon and is the Seeker leader throughout the war. So, you can assume challengers eventually stop, people respect him, etc.**

 **Anyway, next chapter is the end of this fic, and it will end with something that'll make you pumped for the sequel. When Starscream's innocence dies, and he becomes the deadly Decepticon we all know him as.**

 **Also, so many people seem to think sex like "cures" things or makes you lose your mind and forget everything, etc. That's not true. I'm asexual, and will never participate in such... gross activities, but sex doesn't cure nor makes you lose control. Maybe you get super into things if it gets very passionate, but 99% of the time people are very much chill. A large percentage of people are watching TV or looking at facebook during sex. And many more are talking about things. It's like how I write the sex scenes. But, some people seem to think it cures depression or whatever. It may temporary help, or get you more "happy hormones," but it doesn't cure shit. We need to stop pushing this belief that sex is "magical" or something that just fixes and solves problems. In reality, sex causes MORE problems. How so? People who shouldn't breed are having children because they fuck without birth control, or people have too many kids adding to overpopulation. Most murders are because of sex related with sexual relationships, such as marriage and girl/boyfriends. Sex is the cause of human trafficking, brothels, prostituting, a lot of crime and drama. Was sex meant to become this? No. God intended it for breeding and bonding. But, in a fucked up world, fucking fucks things up.**

 **Not to mention all the rape on factory farms, fur farms, zoos, animal brothels, etc.**

 **Now, I make Seekers growl and hiss and snarl, while making animalistic sounds because, warrior culture, they want to be as scary and intimidating as possible. And remember they aren't humans. Cybertronians are their own species with their own cultures, and different cultures in their species and subspecies. While most humans thing snarling, hissing, and growling is "barbaric," there are many human tribes, from the past and present, that do that. Because it's about intimidation. Intimidation doesn't care about "manners" or whatever. It's about making your enemy shit their pants so you have the upper edge in defeating them. And if a Seeker hissing and biting, and making animalistic sounds causes their adversary to cower even for a moment, that's a moment that the Seeker can take advantage of to tear off limbs, stab, or get away if they are cornered. It's not making them "dumb" or "barbaric." It's them getting the upper edge in a simplistic manner. Doesn't take much to hiss in someone's face, and as they back off to wipe away spit, you take that chance to strike. And I can assure you, as an abuse survivor, I have hissed/spat in someone's face multiple times to get away. My brothers are strong and would pin me down while punching me. Sometimes, you do what you have to do, and forget what today's stuck up society says out how "ladies are supposed to be proper, blah blah blah." I was trying to survive. And it worked and that's what mattered.**

 **So, Seekers are all about fighting, even if it's dirty, even if it may make some species/cultures look down on them. In the end, so long as they win the fight, that's what matters. And if snarling and making animalistic sounds prevents a fight, even better. Because if you can make your enemy flee without needing to waste energy on them or risk injury, you have a better chance of surviving in the long run.**

 **And, technically, animalistic sounds don't really exist since humans are animals... So... ANY sound animals make, even humans, is "animalistic..." *Brain explodes***

 **And true friends call each other "bitch," "whore," "cunt," etc.! I even call my furbabies those things... Because it's TRUE love!**

 **And as usual... The abusers defend the abuse they cause and attack those telling them it's wrong. Just the other day I told a cunt that hitting her baby was abuse. And what happened? Her and several other child abusers all attacked me, told me to die, said horrible things to me, and claimed that just because I don't have biological children I don't know anything about parenting. And yet most people with children are abusive and CLEARLY don't know anything about children. As those abusive mothers clearly demonstrated! I even shared studies and scientific evidence on how hitting children causes permanent psychological trauma, and, I kid you not, they told me to be raped. MOTHERS told another woman to be RAPED for pointing out that hitting children is ABUSE.**

 **This is how fundamentally FUCKED UP the world is. That people defend abuse by telling those fighting against it to be raped, beaten, and killed. Because peace and compassion is CLEARLY a bad thing...**

 **Oh, I drew the royal Seeker armor, breeding mate garb, and Vos' palace and throne room. Check out my deviantART to see it! Google Ga-Maleven on deviantART. Hit "gallery" at the top menu bar. Once redirected hit the album to the left-hand side that says "Fanart." Once redirected, hit the album on the left-hand side that says "Transformers." It is there in that album titled "Royal Seeker Guard and Palace Concept Art."**

 **One more chapter to go then I'll tell you what's next! :D Please, fave, comment, share, and draw me fanart!**


	31. A King of Vos

**Chapter 31**

"Thought I'd find you here."

I looked up, watching as my blue trinemate sat beside me on the bench. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I offlined my optics, savoring his comfort, feeling myself against his larger frame.

"Does it help?"

I onlined my optics a little as I vented a sigh. "I just wanted to be with my sire."

Thundercracker looked up at the memorial statue of the previous Elite Trine, their graves before it. A few benches had been placed along the walls of the cavern so visitors had somewhere to rest. I wasn't the only one to come here. My siblings, Skycutter's breeding mates, his siblings, grandcreations, and his supporters would frequent to leave him crystal flowers, gifts, or just to visit him. Flare and Turbine also received many visitors and family members, their graves also covered in gifts, crystal flowers, pictures, and letters.

"He's proud of you."

I looked up at my trinemate. "Maybe. He wouldn't agree with some of the things I'm doing."

"Eh, maybe in the Well he's realized his mistakes."

"Maybe." I was silent a klik before speaking again. "I'm just so done with all these challengers and everyone trying to get me to spark them. I've been Alpha for four decacycles now, and they just won't stop… I'm so tired being in the med wing because of all these lousy traditionals…"

"You've defeated them all. They're going to get tired of challenging you and you won't have to deal with it ever again. Well, until you eventually are challenged and lose and are killed, and leadership changes servos."

I rolled my optics. "Not helping."

"Are you sure you don't want breeding mates? Because that one femme courting you with the yellow optics and blue paint job was really hot. I wouldn't be angry if you brought her in so we could… Bang her senseless."

I punched his arm. "No! Ugh, I don't want a breeding mate! All they are are interface slaves…"

"Only if you make them be."

"Stop."

"Yes, sir."

I was silent a bit before speaking. "I better get back… Stupid senators tomorrow…"

"Want me to carry you?"

I smiled as I nodded. "Yes, please."

He smiled before kissing me on the lip plates. "As you wish, my love."

He picked me up bridal style as he stood, and carried me out of the catacombs and back to the palace.

* * *

"You need to work on your snarl." Asperitas gruffly commented, getting his faceplates in mine.

I snarled in response. "I'll bite your faceplates off."

"That's what these senators are going to do to you. Act like you actually can fight."

I flicked my wings, my optics narrowed. "Don't you tell me how to handle them."

"I will because these barbarians are a lot meaner than you getting your aft beaten by Thundercracker when he was your trineleader. They'll deplate you alive and eat your protoform."

"This sounds too scary." Skywarp whimpered, hugging Thundercracker's arm.

"Ah!" I yelped when Asperitas slapped my cheekplates hard. "The hell?" I rubbed them, not expecting him of all people to strike the Alpha.

"Expect that to happen. Sometimes these politicians hit each other. Especially the builds they deem 'lesser.' You need to not yelp like a beaten turbofox over it."

"It hurt."

"Don't cry. They will tear you apart. Look at me, my liege."

"I am looking-OUCH!" I yelped when he slapped me again. "This isn't helping me!"

"Do not cry out." He growled.

I flicked my wings, glaring murderously at him. He slapped me again and I barely managed to keep from making a sound. I rubbed my sore cheekplates, shooting daggers, bullets, bombs, all sorts of deadly weapons at him with my optics.

"Better."

"Slagger…" I grumbled.

"I think the Alpha should be more concerned with what he will say rather than the chance of being assaulted." Rainfall grunted.

"Nonsense!" Noctilucent waved his walking stick. "This youngling could use a few smacks ta get 'is act together!"

"Seriously, what is your problem?" I gave Noctilucent a look.

"Ya weak younglings are mah problem." He grumbled.

"We've arrived, sir." Nacelle informed us, wearing his full royal guard armor.

"Ready for this?" Asperitas perked his wings at me as he returned his helmet to his helm.

I exhaled deeply. "As ready as I'll ever be."

I stood and walked to the back of the ship, my trinemates following in formation behind me and the guards just behind them. The door of the ship opened and I exited with my entourage, the flash of cameras, the rush of microphones to my faceplates, and the thunderous uproar of thousands of questions at once all greeted me.

I felt a panic attack coming, but pushed myself forward, fighting it best I could. Asperitas stepped before me with Nacelle and Elevon, parting the sea of reporters and cameramechs so I could proceed.

"Starscream, what do you plan to speak with the Senate about?"

"Starscream, is it true you are arresting your own kind for religious beliefs?"

"Starscream, why did you kill your own sire? Was it out of spite or simply to lead?"

"You claim to be making changes to the Seekers, does this include not being primitive brutes?"

"Why are you so short?"

"Is it true you were once a slave to the mech you are still mated to?"

"Are the drug allegations true?"

"Are you having an affair with a non-Seeker? Does this mean you are into bestiality?"

"Are you going to do the right thing and relieve control of Vos to the superior species?"

"Why did you kill your sire?"

"Are you actually a femme?"

"Have you had anything to do with the murderer Megatron? There are allegations you have been involved in distributing his propaganda."

"Back off!" Asperitas roared, his wings flaring, scattering the miserable creeps from me with their crude questions. Whatever happened to the paparazzi these orbital cycles? Savages, the lot of them.

I followed Asperitas into the safety of the Senate Building, my entourage making it safely in with me. I vented a soft sigh, relieved to have escaped them. I was taken deeper into the building, checked over by security, then allowed where the senators were meeting.

"This is fancy." Skywarp muttered to me, knowing he should not be speaking when in formation.

I perked my wings, the conference room was quite fancy. I was led to my spot, which was more in the back. I wouldn't complain, though. I preferred keeping some distance until I got more comfortable with this. I sat down, adjusting my cape and checking my crown. My trinemates stood on either side of me, and my guards all around. My advisors sat beside me. They would be allowed to advise me for general matters, but if anything became confidential they and my guards would have to leave.

"See that one?" Silverstorm gestured his helm to a senator standing near the front. "That's Senator Ratbat. He especially hates Seekers and animal builds. And that one over there is Senator Shockwave. He's into outliers. Scientist."

"There he is." Fireflight whispered to me from my other side, his helm nodding to a large mech who had just entered. "The Prime himself."

I swallowed, biting the tips of my digits hard. "I can't do this." I whispered anxiously.

"You can. You're smarter than these slagsuckers." Fireflight firmly said.

I hoped he was right. The senators all gathered in and took their seats, and the meeting soon begun. The Prime sat on his throne in the center of the half circle our elevated seats all made. Most of what they spoke about didn't entail Vos or Seekers, so I didn't speak. I only was there to protect my people and city. They could argue and glitch about the rising energon crisis, the Functionists imprisoning people, Shadowplay, gun laws, and other slag all they wanted to. That was not my card to play.

I knew eventually something about my space port would be brought up, but until then I silently listened and watched, studying them. I took down notes on the senators, figuring out their agendas, what they were for and against, who was Functionists and who wasn't, mapping them out and figuring out how they operated.

It was like this for a bit before I heard that designation. I looked up, wings perking, intently listening.

"We still haven't been able to stop that miner, Megatron." A senator grunted. "All attempts to locate him fail. He's staying two steps ahead of us. That entire illegal gladiator ring is."

"More copies of his literature have been seized. Even the schools are finding them." Another senator spat.

"This is a crisis. We have these rebellious miscreants spreading propaganda and infecting our young!" Another barked.

"They have a designation for their little revolt now."

"What?"

"The Decepticons."

A smile tugged at the corners of my lip plates. I liked the sound of that.

I was lost in thought about the Decepticons and Megatron, my idol, when the senators finally decided to discuss my city.

"Starscream."

I snapped to attention, optics darting to the Prime, never expecting him to say my designation. "Yes, Sentinel Prime?" I calmly inquired, hiding that I was screaming and on fire on the inside.

"You are now the ruler of Vos, and therefore are operating the space port located there." The Prime said slowly, as if I was some unintelligent beast to him. Which, I was. "I have been having this same argument with your sire for quite some time, and I do hope you're more reasonable then he was." He paused, the tips of his digits pressed together to form a steeple. "The space port would do best if it was under direct control of the Senate. I understand that that is Vos' primary economic advancement and has the most employed. I would like to offer purchasing it and allowing those employed to keep their jobs. This would be best for Cybertron. The Senate will be able to better disperse the imports from the space port, as well as place more tariffs on-"

I held up my servo as I interjected. "Not to be rude, Prime, but my space port is not for sale. None of my city is."

The other senators gave me surprised looks, not expecting me to interrupt the Prime. No one did. But, I wasn't like anyone they would ever get the pleasure of meeting.

Sentinel eyed me, his optics harsh, uncaring, calculating. "I'm sorry, but I was not finished speaking, _Starscream_." He said it like it hurt to say the designation of a Seeker.

"I heard enough, Sentinel. My space port and my city is not for sale. My city is operating exceptionally and generating more than enough Shanix. New schools are being built, more hospitals constructed, more jobs created, an academy is even in the works. My city is prospering without the Senate owning anything in it. And I will not allow my people, my city, to be ruled by Functionists." I said firmly, my optics narrowing and wings flaring. My own advisors were looking at me like I was losing it.

"You do not speak to your Prime like that!" A senator shouted at me.

Oh, they hadn't seen nothing yet.

"If he doesn't like it, let him speak for himself."

I think I heard Asperitas face-palming. And I knew I heard the sound of Thundercracker's optics straining from rolling so hard.

Sentinel leaned back in his seat, obviously not amused by my attitude. That's okay. He'll see worse in the near future. "I am not surprised by the disrespect and aggression shown to me by a Seeker. Not like they have much to use to judge their actions."

"Funny, I was thinking the same about you and the senators."

My trinemates and guards all broke formation to turn horrified optics onto me. I think Asperitas was considering quitting, and my advisors all looked like they wanted to melt into the floor.

Sentinel glared at me murderously. "Don't make us your enemy, Seeker. It would be most unwise." He ominously said in almost a growl.

"You're already my enemy, Sentinel. Anyone who thinks I'm a mindless beast and wishes to steal my property is." I flicked my wings before standing, servos on the desk before me. "My city and my people are not yours to touch, Sentinel. You may be the Prime, but Vos is mine. And if you have an issue with that, then I challenge you to take what is mine in a fight to the death. You want what belongs to a Seeker? Then you'll have to follow Seeker rules."

It was taking all the willpower of my advisors, trinemates, and Asperitas to not grab me, gag me, and run away with me before I said or did anything else idiotic. The tension in the room was heavy, no one speaking or moving for what felt like an eternity. Sentinel glared at me, mulling silently to himself.

Finally, he spoke.

"You are a bold one, aren't you? You clearly need to learn some respect, Seeker." He paused, debating on what to do next. "Vos is yours for now, but it won't always be. Remember that."

"Vos is mine as long as I function." I flicked my wings. "Remember _that_."

Silence. Complete silence. It was so tense that it was suffocating. And we don't even breathe.

"I think we have other matters to deliberate." Sentinel finally said, shooting me a final murderous glance before looking at a datapad he held.

I finally sat down, lowering my wings to neutral. I flicked my wings when Thundercracker gave me a slight smack on the back of the helm, but I couldn't help but smirk.

I wasn't going to be pushed around by this Prime or senators. They may have insulted and bullied my sire and Alphas before him, but it would end with me. Because this Seeker wasn't afraid of pissing off a few old 'bots.

* * *

"My optics are up here." I snapped, slapping the cameramech who kept lowing his lens to my hips and codpiece.

The meeting had finally adjourned and we were outside now returning to my ship when the reporters and paparazzi crawled out of their holes to leech off the living.

"I wasn't-" He started.

"Starscream, what did you say to the Prime?" I reporter asked before shoving their microphone into my face.

"I told him to suck my spike and take it shot in the optic like a mech." I snapped.

Asperitas grabbed my arm and yanked me away so fast. I was hauled onto my ship and shoved into my seat. I flicked my wings at the Captain of the Guard, glaring icily at him. My trinemates sat beside me, and I knew Thundercracker was just waiting until he could get me tied to the berth and beat me until I didn't have an aft anymore.

"The hell were you thinking!?" Asperitas roared once the ship finally took off.

"I'm thinking I'm kind of hungry right now." I nonchalantly replied, crossing my legs.

"Sir, that wasn't the brightest thing to do." Fireflight informed me.

"This is politics. It's dirty and people fight." I grunted. "You even said some punches might be thrown." I leaned back, my servos resting on the back of my helm and my elbows in the air. "I'm not going to be pushed around like some still wet newly emerged."

"We're Seekers. No one respects us anyway. You could have cost us whatever power we have." Silverstorm chimed in.

"I didn't." I flicked my wings. "Last time I checked I was in charge. I am not going to be bullied or intimidated by these Functionist slagheaps, and Vos will not fall under their control. I know what I'm doing."

"With all due respect, sir, I have my doubts." Asperitas grunted.

I flicked my wings. "Lodge a complaint, then, but don't question my actions or orders. That goes for all of you." I said firmly.

"As you command, my liege." Asperitas said slowly, obviously not pleased.

My other advisors murmured their submission to me and backed off. I crossed my arms, glanced at either my trinemates in case they had anything to add, but they remained silent.

"Take us home."

* * *

"Oh! Hah! Yes, yes, yes, oh, nnrrrgh, yes!" I moaned, writhing on the berth beneath Skywarp as he viciously humped into me.

He gripped my shoulders, making that stupid rape face of his with his glossa hanging out, and smiling so dumbly. His wings refused to cease fluttering, and he was thrusting so hard and fast into me you would think he hadn't interfaced in vorns.

"Ow, hah, oh, Skywarp… Hah." I kept my optics on his, wishing he would stop going so fast and hurting me, but telling him so wouldn't make him stop. Not when he was this excited.

Thundercracker entered the room from the balcony, an optical ridge rising when he looked up from the datapad he was perusing. "Skywarp, you can't interface Starscream whenever he has a panic attack."

"Can and am!" He giggle manically before ravaging my lip plates with a nippy kiss.

Thundercracker approached and stopped beside the berth. "Are you feeling any better, Star?" He inquired as his wings perked.

"Hah, I guess." I managed to get out between pants. "I'm sorry about, hah, panicking like that. I-"

"Don't." Thundercracker raised a servo to silence me. "You're stressed and those idiots constantly challenging you is concerning."

I lowered my wings, still feeling bad about it. I was still being challenged constantly by other trineleaders, and always fighting to keep my position. Earlier, I had been challenged once more, but this time during the middle of the fight the watching crowd all attacked me. And that being against the rules of a challenge, the guards got involved and had to rescue me. I thankfully wasn't too damaged and received a quick patch up, but once in my quarters the full weight of the incident dawned on me, and I fell to the floor crying and unable to stop trembling. Skywarp had the brilliant idea to throw me on the berth and frag me while Thundercracker went off to find something to calm me.

My blue trinemate kissed me on my lip plates before unsubspacing a box and proffering it to me. "Here, my love. I hope these help."

I took the box, being jerked about by Skywarp's insane humping, and opened it. Inside were engex energon goodies, one of my favorites. I faintly smiled, wings fluttering when Thundercracker kissed me again.

"You like?"

"I do. Thank you."

"Need him off you?"

"He can finish up. Better, hah, better than him humping the mannequin again."

Thundercracker rolled his optics. "The poor thing never did consent…"

"I don't care." Skywarp flicked his wings. "I hump what I _want_! _When_ I want to and _how_ I want to!" He cackled evilly before licking my faceplates. "I LOVE YA, SCREE!"

"Uh huh…" I glared up at him.

Thundercracker sat on the berth by me and returned to reading his datapad. Skywarp eventually overloaded, and pulled out just to try and force his wet spike into my mouth.

"Ah! STOP!" I slapped him, shoving him away.

"NO!" He giggled.

Thundercracker grasped Skywarp's wing and yanked him off the berth with a yelp. I quickly sat up and closed my codpiece before cuddling against my rescuer. My engine purred when he petted my helm and lovingly kissed my cheekplates. I offlined my optics, enjoying his simple touches, knowing how much he loved me.

"Love?"

"Hmm?" I perked my wings as my optics onlined, looking up at him.

"Did you see this?" He handed me the datapad.

My optics widened at what I saw. Bitstream had sent me an encrypted message saying simply this:

"Gladiator fight in Vos. Abandoned energon processing plant. Tonight."

I knew what I was doing.

* * *

"Star, you can't be sneaking out like this!" Thundercracker hissed at me as I set three mannequins onto the berth and covered them with blankets and metal sheets for "wings." "This is dangerous!"

"Pish-posh." I gave a dismissive wave not even looking at him. "No one will find out I even left."

"If you get caught…"

"I won't. No one will know." I double checked to make sure the blinds for the windows and balcony door were still down, hiding the activity inside.

"This might be fun, TC." Skywarp shrugged.

"I just am concerned about the repercussion of being discovered participating in illegal activity." Thundercracker grunted.

"We won't be, my love. I promise." I purred, playfully "walking" two digits up his chestplates to finish off with a tap to his olfactory sensor.

He snorted a loud exhale through his vents, not amused.

"Ready?" Skywarp perked his wings.

I double checked the room. The decoys were deployed, doors locked, blinds down, and a recording of Thundercracker snoring playing. Yes, no one would know that the Elite Trine snuck out to an illegal gladiator fight.

"Ready." I smirked.

Skywarp grabbed our servos and we vanished in a flash of purple only to reappear outside the abandoned energon processing plant on the outside of Vos proper. People were sneaking in, and I could hear a crowd on the inside.

"Come on!" I squealed excitedly, grabbing my trinemates' by their wrists and pulling them along with me as I ran.

They ran with me, and we quickly entered the abandoned building. More and more people appeared, it growing denser as we neared the arena hastily built within just joors ago. It took all my power not to shove my way to the ticket booth and skip out on the crowd. They didn't hand out actual tickets, since this was all illegal, just made you pay a certain amount before you could walk through the guarded entry way. I practically threw the Shanix at the mech collecting it, then pulled my brothers to the bouncers. We were let in and followed the crowd to the arena. Finding seats took a bit, since obviously nothing was assigned with tickets, but we eventually did find something not too far away from the arena and that we could sit beside each other.

I was bouncing in my seat, my trinemates on either side of me. I kept looking around, watching that arena, hoping to spot him. It felt like an eternity before the event finally begun.

"Ladies and gentlemechs!" A mech with a microphone greeted loudly as he stood in the center of the arena, his vocalizer booming from speakers all around. "Are you ready for a fight?!"

The crowd roared their cheers, the stadium was reverberating from their thunderous applause and screams. Thundercracker had his arms crossed, Skywarp was getting excited, and I kept looking for him.

"We begin our night with your favorites Showdown and a rising star, Lugnut!"

The crowd cheered wildly as the combatants entered the arena, but I still looked out for him.

The battles were brutal, organs and limbs ripped out, energon splattering on the crowd closest to the action, several gladiators dying, or coming close to death, and the crowd's thunderous approval with each death.

Finally, the reason for me coming arrived.

"And now for the main event!" The announcer proclaimed as he stepped in the energon soaked arena as a body was being removed. "The undefeated, the powerhouse, the conqueror, the indomitable… _Megatron_ of _Tarn_!"

My wings perked, optics widening, and I couldn't help but cheer with the crowd once I saw him. When he stepped out into that arena… When I was in the same room as him for that first time… When my own optics were on him for that first time.

It was… Whew… How do I describe it? It was mesmerizing. It was… I felt so focused on him and everything else forgotten. I felt like… It was a dream and this couldn't be happening. There was my idol, the one I admired for his writing, his activism against the Senate and Functionism, and his ferocity in battle. Something I wish I could do.

His opponent was Nightcall, a gladiator who had only ever lost one fight out of his last one hundred battles. He was a massive mech, but I never had any doubts about Megatron losing. My idol couldn't lose.

I remember every moment of that battle… Of all his battles. How he tore into him, stabbed him with a sword, twisted off an arm, slammed him into a wall, and tore off his helm. How the cried roared with delight over the death, how they cheered, and the chanting that always came with a death:

"Till all are one."

"And they think Seekers are barbaric." Thundercracker grunted, but I ignored him.

"That was pretty awesome, actually." Skywarp commented, stuffing his face with energon goodies.

"We should leave before the main crowd does so we don't get lost leaving." Thundercracker said, stroking my thigh.

"Why? We can teleport?" I raised an optical ridge at him.

"And then everyone would know who we are. We can't risk the public finding out."

I vented a sigh, knowing he was right… As usual… He kissed me on the cheekplates, but I focused on Megatron, still standing in the arena. Hell, I thought he was so hot…

"Come on." Thundercracker finally spoke, standing up, some other people also leaving now to beat the crowd.

I stood up and followed, holding his servo as well as Skywarp's so we wouldn't lose each other. We ascended the stairs and went down a hallway, looking for the exit. Since these arenas were hastily built before each match, they never bothered to put exit signs or anything in them. Just the bare minimum of work required to host a fight and have a crowd watch. And because of this, we got a little loss without a crowd to follow. We took a wrong turn and ended up near the back of the arena, not the main entrance.

"I guess we can teleport, now. I don't see anyone." Thundercracker said as he glanced around, wings hiked.

My wings perked when I saw a pair of red optics in the shadows. "Hey, look, there's a cybercat."

"Kitty!" Skywarp squealed.

Thundercracker rolled his optics when Skywarp and I abandoned him for the feline. This was why he could never take us anywhere.

"Hey, there. You lost?" I stroked the cat's helm, earning some trust before picking him up. "Aw, he looks like Rogue's cybercat. The fat one."

"He does, but not fat." Skywarp replied, petting the cat.

"You got a family, little guy?" I inquired of the cybercat.

"Is it a guy?" Skywarp looked. "Yeah, a mech."

"So rude." I glared at Skywarp. "Checking another mech's junk like that. Just rude!"

"What? Not like I reached up there to check…"

"Molestation with the optics is still molestation." I said it matter-of-factly.

"Since when?"

"Since you just did it to a cat!"

"Hey, be quiet, femmes, before I make you be quiet." Thundercracker grunted.

"I'm the Alpha. You can't tell me slag." I flicked my wings defiantly.

"See that half wall right there? Keep being loud and you are going to be leaning over it and a cable will be having a 'discussion' with your aft."

I smirked. "Only if you hump me afterwards!" I giggled.

"I think the gladiators are leaving through the back." Skywarp piped up.

I looked over, indeed seeing some of the gladiators sneaking out the back and medical units carrying away wounded now stabilized. They had to move quickly before the police found out and arrived.

"Is Megatron with them?"

"I don't see him.." Skywarp squinted as if it would help.

"Can we go closer? I wanna meet him! Maybe he can sign my copy of _Towards Peace_?"

"Star, no, we shouldn't linger any longer and we don't know how they'll react if you go bother them." Thundercracker said firmly. "Put the cat down. He looks well fueled so I'm sure he lives around here somewhere. They know how to get home."

I vented a sigh. "Fine. If I must release the kitty."

"Bye, kitty!" Skywarp petted the cybercat's helm one last time.

"Alright, go home, kitty. I must return to ruling my Seekers and all of Vos because of responsibility… Ugh." I set him down on the ground. "One orbital cycle I'll meet Megatron and… we can make Cybertron a better place together."

"And adopt all the kitties?" Skywarp inquired.

"All of them." I giggled.

"Ready?"

"I am."

Skywarp grabbed our arms and we vanished in a flash of purple.

The cybercat's optics widened, not expecting that. His audio receptors perked before he looked behind him in the shadows. He then trotted over to the call of his master.

"Ravage, come."

* * *

I slammed the balcony door closed, several Seekers with gifts for me outside it, banging on it to be let in.

"When will they ever leave?!" I demanded, scratched up and dented from fighting off the endless courting. "If it's not challengers it's people who want my spike in them! Ugh!" I threw myself onto my berth, thoroughly exhausted.

Thundercracker perked his wings, petting my helm as he lied on the berth reading. "Your life sounds so hard."

"It's the hardest!" I moaned.

"I have the hardest spike for you, Scree!" Skywarp cackled from where he was lying on the couch watching porn on the TV.

I rolled my optics. "I'm going to my office and I don't want to be disturbed…" I got up and walked to the door. "Please, leave me alone for a few joors. I need to reset."

"Fine, I'll have TC frag me!" Skywarp giggled.

I rolled my optics before palming the door open and walking out. They were so obsessed over fragging me. It was a compliment, but also kind of annoying. I'm more than just something to frag, and surely they thought about other things, right? What am I thinking… Of course they don't…

I made my way to my office and closed the door behind me. I sat at my desk, and began to go over making new, stricter laws to stop traditional abuse, plans on how to better Vos' economic growth, and suggestions from my people of how to better the city.

I was in the middle of reading a suggestion from a grounder who wanted another apartment complex built for non-fliers when there was a knock at my door.

"Enter!"

The door hissed open and Skyfire walked in. "Hey, Star, are you busy?" He gently asked, closing the door behind him.

I smiled, setting down my work, my wings fluttering. "Not at all, love. What's up?"

"Thought I would come visit you. Been quiet for the last couple of orbital cycles so I was worried you were upset." He leaned over the desk and pecked a kiss to my lip plates.

"I'm just tired." I grunted. "Been busy with challengers, people courting me, making laws, dealing with haters, politicians…. And then dealing with my trinemates who think fragging me upside down is 'fun.'"

"Frag upside down?"

"You know… Wheelbarrel. But with me doing a servostand and they are standing on the berth or couch. It's stupid and is no fun."

"Doesn't sound like it. I would never do that to you."

I smirked, my wings fluttering. "Wanna show me that, now?"

Skyfire sheepishly smiled. "I would love to. But, is it safe in your office?"

"No one will come in, and the walls are soundproof for security purposes." I got up and trotted to the door. I palmed it open and stuck my helm out. "Don't let anyone in at all. I wish to be left alone for a bit." I ordered the guards before closing and locking the door.

I then returned to my desk and pushed everything off to the side, clearing the middle. Skyfire helped me onto it, and I lied on my back. Without preamble, my shuttle began to caress and send electrical currents into my transformation seams. I offlined my optics, enjoying his loving ministrations. He pleasured my frame for a bit before moving his servo to my codpiece. Like the slut I am, I quickly removed it, and his digits were touching my intimacy.

"You're Alpha, now…" He said slowly as he removed his own codpiece, his spike rising with anticipation. "Can we join?"

I bit my lip plate, looking away for a moment before speaking. "Let me establish myself more. I already have a lot of challengers. Let me defeat them all and get some more laws made, then, once this storm has calmed…" I looked at him. "I would love to be joined with you." I smiled.

He smiled back just before pushing himself into me. I gasped, then moaned, writhing beneath him. He held my hips, adjusting himself, then began a steady, gentle pace, thrusting into me.

"Hah, oh, oh, yes! Ha…" I offlined my optics, wings fluttering, loving this so much, loving him so much.

He leaned over and kissed me on the lip plates, and I kissed back, wrapping my arms around his helm and holding him close. Our glossas soon were playing with each other, and I found myself giggling and squealing when he tickled me.

He started to thrust harder and faster, my whole frame being shook by it. Our chestplates parted, he kept going harder and faster, and after two breems we finally overloaded, clutching onto each other as we growled through our ecstasy. I panted, feeling the last waves of the surplus energy flowing from my body and into the desk. He kissed me again, fluttering his wings.

"I love you." He said softly.

I smiled. "I love you, too."

He planted a lingering kiss to my lip plates. "You're so beautiful… I love you so much."

"I love you, more."

"I love you most."

"Ugh… I wish this was all I could do… Just be loved on by you and those stupid challengers go away and people stop trying to breed with me…" I flicked my wings before fluttering them, smiling up at my best friend. "I wanna make sparklings with you!"

"Oh? How many are we going to have?" He smiled back, kissing me.

"Seeing how I have to carry them… I would say five at minimum."

"At minimum? What's at most?"

"Five hundred! Spread over the vorns, of course." I giggled.

"I think that's going too far." He kissed me. "I can't wait until we have our first one."

I nuzzled my olfactory sensor against his. "Once we join, during our consummating, I want you to spark me. So we can get started right away."

"I shall."

"And our sparkling will be designated…" I thought for a moment. "Starfire?"

"You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?"

I guiltily nodded as I smiled. "I have."

"I love that designation. Works for both genders, too."

"Exactly!"

Skyfire kissed me again. "So, what are your plans?"

I vented a sigh. "Just… To keep fighting these challengers, to make new laws and enforce them, educate everyone on why traditionalism is bad with the abuse and rape, and make Vos better. More schools, encouraging Seekers to go to other academies and not just the War Academy, and that we are able to do more than breed in large numbers and hurt each other. Just make Vos, and hopefully the rest of the world, a better place with equality, justice, peace, and no more abuse, rape, or murder."

"Think you can do it?"

"I'm going to try whatever I must do to see it happen. Even if I have to kill, equality and freedom for all will become a reality."

"I hope you don't have to kill."

"I already had to kill my sire to get this much started. We shall see if I must deactivate anymore."

"I'll stand with you always, no matter what you must have to do. I promise."

I faintly smiled. "Thanks, Sky. How about another go?"

He smiled. "Always, my love." I kissed me. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most." He then resumed his love making.

* * *

Several decacycles passed. The last of Skycutter's creations were born, marking the end of the arrival of princes and princesses for thousands of vorns, unbeknownst to the world. I had a new full sister, designated Chandelle, and she had sire's orange optics. Fitting for being the last of his.

The challengers finally lessened, now they merely barred their denta and spat vitriol at me, but no more attacks. The Seekers wishing to breed with me were more enthusiastic now since the last of Skycutter's creations had been brought into the world. Perhaps they thought I would be eager to resume the arrival of the new royalty, but I had more important matters.

Seekers were being locked away for their crimes against their submissives, an academy was being build, more schools for the young, expansion for Vos' infrastructure and more apartments and single houses for grounders as well as Seekers. And I was becoming more involved in the politics, having to meet with and deal with the Senators and others involved in that messy business. My advisors were getting off my aft and letting me do more without putting their opinion in, and Noctilucent finally ceased telling me to beat everyone.

My city was expanding, my riches growing, Seekers were making changes and talking about mental illness, the Seeker population was growing slower now since less Seekers were being forced into carryings, and trineleaders and submissives were both seeking therapy, sometimes together.

I was making changes, and I would continue to make these changes. And as my city was prospering, the rest of the world was also becoming something else. More news of the growing Decepticon movement would reach my audio receptors. Megatron's influence was contagious, infecting more with the promise of equality if they fought against the established system, against the Functionists. And I eagerly monitored it all, waiting for my chance to help them.

I stepped before the podium on the stage, dressed in my royal garb. My trinemates were behind me, the crowd of Seekers before me. I ignored the camera drones buzzing around, now use to their presence.

"My Seekers!" I greeted them. "I come before you to inform you about additional laws I am enforcing this moment. Changes to the last laws. For now on, trineleaders cannot strike their submissive more than twenty times, and dominating shall only be used for extreme measures. Submissives are to receive proper medical care after punishments and during carryings. Hate crimes against Seekers will be punished to the fullest extent of the law, and Seekers who attack non-Seekers also shall be prosecuted. This era of hatred and abuse _shall_ end." I paused. "I am a victim myself. I have been raped, I have been beaten, I have been crushed, I have been broken, I have been locked away, I have suffered, I have been suicidal, I have been where you are. I will stand with the victims. With those who have been sexually assaulted, beaten, imprisoned, forced to have sparklings, unable to even call their own family, and left feeling like death is better than living. I know your pain, and I will end it. I will save you from your tormentors, your rapists, your abusers. I am a victim just like you are. And we are stronger than our abusers. We are strong together. We will not be conquered so easily. We will fight, we _will_ win, and the end of traditionalism is closer than what you think. You are strong for fighting against and surviving everything that has been done to you. Do not give up hope."

I continued giving the changes in the laws, and adding new ones before returning to the palace, having to get by the paparazzi and reporters. I no longer stuttered with them, I no longer was bothered. I was in control. This was my city they were living in.

I walked down the long hall to my throne, and ascended the dais, my trinemates following. I sat down, and they stood on either side of me. Open court would begin shortly, but I had time to let my processor wander.

I glanced at either side of me at my trinemates, studying them for a moment each. My mind thought about what I had just said to my Seekers, about being a survivor, about fighting and making the decision best for yourself, even if it means leaving your old trine. And I thought about how Skywarp's creators did that. They left their trineleaders and now had their own trine going, working on establishing their lives, getting Overcast all the medical help he needed, and planning to have a sparkling once he was better. And I thought about how I almost left my trineleader in order to save myself. I was the lucky one to have a mate who realized his mistakes and changed.

And for the first time of\\\in my life… I felt all my doubts about my trinemates fading away. I didn't realize I still held some until this moment. I realized that I truly did trine the right trinemates. That they were meant for me all along. And that they truly loved me. And knowing their love, their acceptance, and the changes I was making for Vos… I finally accepted myself. That my life wasn't a joke. Maybe I was meant to suffer in order to be so against the suffering of others so I would do everything in my power to stop it. Maybe this was the cruel fate of destiny and how it used bad experiences for the better.

And all those creations forced on me… I forgive Thundercracker for forcing them. If I hadn't had them when I did… If I never had them… My life would have been so different. I may had never gotten out of the abusive relationship, I may have never become Alpha, I may have never stood up for myself and fought back. I may have never been able to help others.

I was meant for more than to be beaten, raped, be a sparkling factory, to serve others… I was meant to do great things, to make changes in this world, and to help others. The world wasn't better off without me. It needed me. It needed someone who had been to hell, to fight against the demons. I am stronger now because of my past, and I would use my strength to save those still in battle against their demons.

I wasn't done yet. I would be making more changes to better Vos, save her people, and save others of this planet. I was no longer anyone's slave, no longer someone simply to breed, no longer voiceless.

I was a submissive who became a trineleader. A victim who became a fighter. I was scared, and now I am fearless. I was weak, but now I am strong. I was quiet, and now my voice shall be heard by all. I was a weak, scared, quiet, sensitive, and uncertain submissive, who was now a king.

And all of this from a prince of Vos.

 **The End**

* * *

 **Epilogue:**

My wings perked when the visitor approached me down the long hall. I sat upon my throne, in my royal garb, my trinemates at attention on either side of me. I raised an optical ridge, surprised about this visitor who I had never seen before. I had not been visited by such since my reign began.

The mech stopped at the foot of the dais, before bowing respectfully, keeping his servos outstretched as is tradition of Seeker custom, to show he had no weapons and came in peace. Unusual for a non-Seeker to know our culture.

"And what honor do I have for seeing you, grounder?" I inquired calmly, watching him.

"I have come to offer you a proposition." He spoke, his vocalizer different from most.

"Proposition?" I sat up in my throne. "And what could you, grounder, propose to the king of Vos? The Alpha of the Seekers?" I slightly cocked my helm to the side.

The mech looked up at me, his face hidden from me behind a mask and visor. "Your allegiance and assistance."

"My allegiance and assistance? What do you mistake me for, grounder? Some common soldier you can order around? Why should I help a grounder that I don't even know?" I leaned back in my throne once more.

The mech slowly moved his arms to his chest as he carefully stood up, making sure he made no sudden movements. The guards watched him closely, ready to strike, holding out their spears. I raised my servo, signaling them to stand down, which they obeyed.

The grounder slowly opened his chest compartment and pulled out what appeared to be a large, black data slug. He set it down on the step before him, and closed his chest. The black cassette sprung to life, transforming into a cybercat. My optics widened some, recognizing that feline from the night I went to the gladiator fight.

The cybercat slinked his way up the dais, and without preamble, hopped onto my lap. He cocked his helm, then rubbed it against my servo. I reached my servo to pet him, but instead he opened his jaws and dropped something into my open palm. The cat leaped off my lap and returned to his master.

I gazed down, my optics widening at what I saw.

In my servo was the emblem of the Decepticons, attached to a chain to be worn like a necklace. Just as I had seen Megatron doing. My optics darted back to the mech as my digits closed over the insignia.

"Who are you?" I demanded slowly, my optics narrowing.

"Designation: Soundwave. Proposition: Accepted?"

I gave a sideways glare at either of my trinemates before speaking. "Soundwave… I think it is best to continue this discussion in the privacy of my office." I stood and began to descend down the steps of the dais, snapping for my trinemates to follow. "I believe we have much to go over."

Soundwave slightly inclined his helm, the cybercat sitting obediently next to him.

I momentarily stopped beside him, lowering my vocalizer. "I want to meet him."

"Soon." Soundwave intoned quietly.

"Come, let us begin." I continued forward, my trinemates in formation behind me, and Soundwave beside me, walking towards my office.

This was the moment that sealed my fate, and the fate of my Seekers. Cities would burn, armies shattered, billions of lives destroyed, entire worlds annihilated… All for the fight for equality. And I would see to much of it.

* * *

 **Message from the author:**

In all honesty, I did not expect to write 962 pages worth of my life, from sparklinghood till being recruited by Soundwave. I thought I would only make it to maybe 500 pages and like 20 chapters.

Wow, I actually did this. I wrote my autobiography! Woot! I'm kinda proud of myself for this. But, I have to thank my trinemates. They were the ones who pushed me to do it, and supported me throughout all of it. It's not easy remembering your abusive past and sparklinghood and putting it down in such detail so complete strangers can envision and almost feel the pain and emotions I had. I had to take so many breaks from writing to cry and be hugged by my trinemates. But, it was worth it. If my story can save even _one_ person from an abusive relationship, then I made a difference. And I'm proud of that.

Whether or not you're Cybertronian, Ammonite, Stentarian, or some organic species that has read this, I hope you enjoyed it. Not enjoy me being hurt, but enjoy the overall story and hopefully learning something about me, domestic violence, mental illness, and maybe hate me less if you do hate me.

My trinemates are encouraging me to continue my autobiography and cover my life as a Decepticon, but I think a break would be best. That's a _lot_ of stories and ground to cover so I need to think about what I should entail and what not to bother mentioning. It also will be hard to write due to the abuse I suffered from Megatron, so I need to mentally prepare myself for that.

Anyway, I just want to thank all of my supporters, my awesome, amazing, beautiful, incredible trinemates, Thundercracker and Skywarp of Vos. You guys are seriously my foundation and I would forget to refuel in the morning if not for you guys. I love you so much! And I love everything you've done for me and continue to do for me. All my love and kisses to you both! And just thank you for helping me remember things, from what was said to simply how a room looked, and filling in the blanks where I either wasn't present or incapacitated.

And, I have to give Thundercracker extra credit for being the "bad guy" for so much of the story. You were seriously fragged up back then, and you'll probably get a lot of hate mail once this is published, but know I love you and always will!

I also must thank my daughter Zephyr for her support and help, and letting me tell her sexual assault story. I hope it helps other young femmes who are going through similar struggles and desires.

Just wanna thank all my family that were able to help with this. So many of you are now in the Well, but I hope you are aware of this story and your presence in the story, and are proud of me and it.

I also must thank Skyfire for his continued support and helping me write the parts where he was involved. And for suggesting other things to call him that weren't "that fat shuttle."

Soundwave, I know we had our differences, but you and Thundercracker did an exceptional job editing and pouring through my jumbled mess of notes and making this story flow. I was going to add so much more, but you told me it was unnecessary, and toned down scenes that got a little _too_ "personal."

And I want to thank everyone who reads this story and all your support! And I hope it made you appreciative and even curious about my people and our culture. Just thank you, and share this with your friends and family, and please, feel free to reach out to me to talk about Seeker culture, let me know your thoughts concerning my story, maybe strike up a conversation. I hope maybe I can change my relationship with the public by you getting to know me better.

Fly safe and true until we meet again, and never face your enemies alone. May the wind currents guide you safely to your destination. Pick your fights. Never battle alone. It is better to flee and live, then fight and die when there is no need. Tear out your enemies' optics lest they still watch you in their death. And never forsake your trine.

Strong winds and clear skies to you all.

* * *

 **And it is over. 964 pages and 369,797 words in all.**

 **This was the first single book of mine to come this close to a thousand pages. I honestly thought this story would be as long as _Illicitus_ at about 600 pages and like 20 chapters. Boy, was I wrong!**

 **In the comics the gladiator arena was always being moved around to keep the police from finding it. The Constructicons would build it in new locations. While the comics don't specify if the gladiator fighting was exclusive to Kaon, I feel like it would make sense for them to go to other cities for some fights to throw the cops off their tracks if the cops have a lock down in Kaon or something. The main ring where Megatron recruits and trains his growing Decepticon forces was called "The Forge," but it's not certain if all arenas were called this or if that's a single location that managed to never be found.**

 **Lugnut and Showdown are actual gladiators.**

 **In the IDW comics, Starscream was an actual politician, only he was pretending to be a senator, a crime he will later be convicted of along with a long ass list of other crimes. He was very mouthy about being a politician in that like he is in my fic.**

 **Politics are very harsh and sometimes fights do break out. Like, physical brawls. It happens!**

 **Starscream was so obsessed over Megatron in the IDW G1 comics that he knew every single fight and move in each fight. He knew literally everything about Megatron. Like, the most obsessive of any obsessive fan ever. And he would tell Megatron what to do by giving specific examples from certain fights. Like, which move to use. He also had been to several of Megatron's fights. How many is unknown. But I imagine he had to watch recordings of most.**

 **Soundwave recruited him and his trinemates in the comics. How he discovered them and why them, who knows. Maybe Starscream made his voice known about his love and support for Megatron, but whatever the reason, Soundwave is to blame! Megatron needs to yell at him for bringing the gay Seeker onboard.**

 **And we all know we would run to a cat we randomly saw on the street. I know I do...**

 **I originally was going to have all the babies taken away by protective services when Thundercracker got arrested way back, but decided to change that as I was writing it. I made other changes along the way, but that was probably the most significant. The epilogue with Soundwave I had planned before even writing this fic.**

 **I had started writing this in like August 2017, but stopped due to school, and then started back up in late November when I finally got the first chapter done and posted, and set up a steady posting of chapters, slowing down for the spring semester. So, kind of was like a year in writing this, but for the time I actually worked on it, I really only spent like 10 months from first post to last. Not too shabby.**

 **A lot happened in that time... I lost a daughter, I gained a daughter, left a job, got a new job, graduated college, been immensely suicidal...**

 **What's next? Well, I still need to finish _Strictly Business_ , but I just... I'm in a mood for hurting Starscream because I'm so fucking suicidal and depressed over losing my daughter. I'll never get over losing my two babies... **

**So, I'm going to write _Screaming Silence_ next. It is about the Decepticons losing the war, and Starscream goes missing. He is captured and made a slave by a sadistic Autobot. And bad shit happens. **

**After that, I will write the sequel to _A Prince of Vos_ which is _A King of Ash_. _A King of Ash_ is about Starscream's life as a Decepticon. I have a lot of ideas for it, but need a bit more time to structure things, figure out what kind of events to have because like... The war was 4 million years long and a lot of major shit happened. Like, it took a lot of time. _A Prince of Vos_ only covers less than 200 years. And that got me close to one thousand pages. And I need to decide on how the war ends since obviously Starscream is writing his autobiography in a time of peace when he can finally relax and reflect. He wouldn't be writing about his life and publishing it when in war. If his enemies knew all his secrets they could kill him. And obviously writing about his life as a Decepticon will leak a lot of secrets and shit that happened. So, knowing how the war ends is important, and just figuring all that shit out.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fic, and I hope you like the perspective of Starscream writing this verses how my other fics were written. And I hoped you learned a lot about veganism, animal/human rights, domestic violence, mental illness, and general important shit.**

 **Please, share, fav, comment, and GO VEGAN! And make me fanart! I wanna see people drawing scenes from my fics and sharing them with me on deviantART or something. :3**

 **Thank you for reading this monstrosity of a fic. What am I doing with my life? I have no fucking idea... I should work on my portfolio to get my career job... Draw dragons eating people or write gay robot porn..? Decisions, decisions...**


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